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Academic mentoring activities. A child's academic success is a primary indicator of their trajectory after school. To wrap up our series, we unpack some simple ways for mentors to invest in their mentee's academic success.
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
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You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others. You can mentor.
Speaker 2:Today's episode is all about academic activities to implement in your mentor relationship. This is the last episode of the mentoring activity series. So if you've missed any of the previous ones, go back and check them out. If this episode is helpful for you or your organization, please let us know by rating our podcast, leaving us a review, or sharing it with someone you think would benefit from the content. Thanks for listening.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to the You Can Mentor podcast. My name is Steven. I'm here with a very special person, Beth Winter. She's not a guest. She is a standing contribution to the You Can Mentor podcast.
Speaker 2:How are you, Beth?
Speaker 3:I'm doing fantastic.
Speaker 2:Does that feel good, standing contribution? Yeah. It kinda makes you I don't know. It sounds like you're an object, not a person.
Speaker 3:Oh, yeah. I do. Contributor. Thank you.
Speaker 2:Not contribution. Yes. Contributor. Hey, guys. We're finishing our activities, our mentoring activities series today, and we we saved the best for last, academics, because everyone cares about multiplication tables.
Speaker 2:Right?
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:Amen. Everyone. And I don't know if you've noticed yet, but a few of these episodes, it's a little counterintuitive when it comes to the activities that relate to something. So, yes, last week, we talked about life skills, and we told you that fixing a toilet isn't necessarily the life skill we're looking to cultivate. Really, the skill that we're wanting to cultivate is character.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Because suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope. And hope is the thing that helps us to subsist and move forward in life and keep us alive. And so today, we're talking about academic activities, but we're not asking you to necessarily sit down and do multiplication tables. So if that's what you're thinking, please keep listening. We're gonna make this clear.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So we wanna talk about the benefits, the barriers, and the practicals of academic activities for mentor relationships because school is important. Knowledge is important. It's not everything, but it is important. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Wanna read a quick quote. Virtually every aspect of human development is fundamentally shaped by interpersonal relationships. So it stands to reason that when close and caring relationships are placed at the center of a youth intervention, as is the case in mentoring programs, the conditions for healthy development are ripe. Doctor Jean Rhodes. She's a good one.
Speaker 2:And so what we're talking about is in all of these active activities, what what are you promoting in your mentee's life by doing these activities? And so today, academic success is something that we are looking to achieve in a child's life because academic success is a great indicator of future success. I read the statistic that the US government spends $307,000 on support services over the lifetime of an individual who does not graduate high school.
Speaker 3:Wow.
Speaker 2:So if you're thinking about your taxes, just know that for every kid that doesn't graduate high school, you and me and Beth in your community are are paying $307,000. Wow. Just forking that over. Thank you.
Speaker 3:So we should care about this.
Speaker 2:We should probably care. Well, especially if you knew that 1 in 5 American youth do not finish high school Wow. According to a research study done in 2013. Wow. That was 8 years ago.
Speaker 2:Do you think that statistic's getting better?
Speaker 3:No.
Speaker 2:Well, that's sad. So 1 in 5, that's a lot of chillings. Yep. That's a lot of lot of zeros.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:So I I don't know what what the the percentage is or what the dollar amount is, but that's that's getting it up into the into the mills. Yeah. I mean, honestly, 4 kids is in the mills. So that's that's pretty insane.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:A 2009 study on the crisis of non completion of secondary education showed that an individual with a high school diploma have has an average earning potential of 109% higher than that of an individual without a high school diploma. And so if you see your mentee graduate high school, you're giving them over the course of their life an average of a 109% more earning potential. That's insane. Yeah. That's huge.
Speaker 2:That's insane. So let's do it. Okay. What are the barriers to academic success, graduating high school? What keeps kids from graduating?
Speaker 3:Well, Steven, I'm gonna be honest. I did not know that I was smart myself until 3 years ago, so I have overcome some barriers.
Speaker 2:3 years ago? 3 years ago? Like, you were, like, 25?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Like, 3 years ago because that's when I graduated college. I finished my degree. All growing up, I struggled in school. I was I remember, like, basically having to do tutoring after school all the time.
Speaker 3:I was a grade behind in math. I had to take extra work home to work on literacy and things, and that started in 3rd grade, I think. And so all growing up, it just became kind of like a fact that I believed about myself that I'm not good at school. I'm not smart. I'm good at other things.
Speaker 3:I was really good in gym, But I was just like, okay. I guess I'm just gonna have to figure out how to do life without this academic thing because I'm not good at this and I'm never gonna be good at this. And that continued all through high school. I really struggled.
Speaker 2:Was that just an internal thing or were other people affirming that belief that you weren't There
Speaker 3:were not people, like, telling me I was stupid, but I think I started paying attention to what do people tell me I am good at and what do they leave out. And being told that I was intelligent wasn't ever a thing. I was told I was creative and brave and athletic and things like that, but I was like, okay. Well, I'll figure out how to make a career out of those things, I guess, because I'm I'm not even gonna make it to college. And so that continued, and I did try and go to college, and I struggled in college.
Speaker 3:I was just at a community school, and I was having to drop out of classes because I was failing. And I just kinda gave up on finishing my degree and was like, I'll make a career doing something creative and did that for a while. And, eventually, what I figured out through just some other things that happened in my life, I started going to counseling, and I realized that I had an undiagnosed anxiety disorder that had been hugely impacting my ability to learn in the classroom. And so whenever I got that handled and got to a really healthy place with that, all of a sudden it was like my whole world opened up, and I realized I actually love learning. It was just that there was this huge block, like, blockade in my mind that was keeping me from being able to to learn, like, literally learn in a classroom.
Speaker 3:And so after a while of getting to a good place at that, I was able to go back to school in a way that was, like, an environment I could learn in. And it was crazy. It was like a total turnaround. I ended up graduating with a 4 point o, and, like, I was working a full time job at the same time. Like, I don't know how.
Speaker 3:It was the biggest turnaround I've ever had, probably. So when we talk about academics, I am a huge advocate of especially kids from hard places because I think every kid in my program doesn't think they're smart. I think every single one of them believes that they are behind in some way. And you can't attribute intelligence to what is reflected in a grade at school. There is so much more that may be going on than just a kid looking at a kid and being like, oh, well, he's not smart, but he's gonna be good at sports or whatever.
Speaker 3:I think that it deserves a lot more attention and looking at things and seeing maybe there's something else going on here. There are just so many other factors that could be influencing it than just intelligence alone.
Speaker 2:And it's easy to when you get an f, think that you're a failure
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And that becomes your identity. Yeah. And how much we don't understand that all of these things are, like, the grading system. It's all a system defined to, like, evaluate
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:But not actually, I don't know what I'm trying to say. It's like it's like we we created these systems for entire communities of kids that are all different, have different learning styles and ways of thinking and ways of solving problems, but then we hand them a standardized curriculum that may not an may not tap into their full potential Yeah. And enables us to overlook a lot of strengths and assets that those kids have. Mhmm. But we give them failing grades in areas that they might not be proficient in for a myriad of reasons.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:But that becomes their identity as Yes. That grade.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Yeah. Because a kid isn't gonna understand, oh, it's actually the fact that it's so loud outside of my apartment complex that I'm not getting sleep at night, and that makes it hard me to pay attention in class. So I'm failing in this class because I'm literally falling asleep. They're not gonna see all those connections.
Speaker 3:They're gonna see, I got an f. I'm stupid. And they're gonna believe that. And it's possible that the teacher is gonna believe that too.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Chronic absenteeism, that's a those are two weird words, but it just means you're not getting to school. Yep. There are multiple reasons kids don't get to school. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Some of it is motivation. Some of it is actually the exact opposite, caring for a loved one.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And and so I think there's a lot of assumptions that when kids don't go to school, it's because they're up to a a lot of wrong things. And there may be a reason for a kid not to go to school because he's working Mhmm. To pay rent for his family and to to help pay the bills. Mhmm. And and he's maybe working a minimum wage job and missing out on education that would enable him to make more money in the future, but the short term needs are so great that he's just taking what he can get.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Or she. Yeah. Suspensions.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Yeah. There there are standards for behavior in school that I would say it's it's interesting that we pull kids out who have problems, pull them away from academic, like, focused Mhmm. Planning into detention Mhmm. And and really segregate kids who have either developmental issues or just character issues into a group. It's kinda like the prison system Yeah.
Speaker 2:Where we expect we expect growth to happen or change to occur just by separating them from the general population.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I've realized that that's complicated, and there are a lot of legal issues, and I understand that safety and protection of every child in a school is important. Mhmm. But we have to recognize that how suspensions, detentions, and keeping kids away from school, how that's affecting their education Mhmm. And development.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Yeah. And maybe it's just even as simple as recognizing that, like, poverty there are so many factors of poverty that impact the brain development that controls your behavior. And so, again, like, with academics, I just think it's such a bigger thing. There's so much more going on than just intelligence.
Speaker 3:A kid's behavior greatly impacts his ability to succeed in school, which greatly impacts his ability to succeed in life. Yeah. Another thing coming from just understanding a poverty background, Ruby Payne wrote a book called A Framework for Poverty. She says by age 3, children from professional educated families have heard at least 30,000,000 more words than children from less educated welfare families. And so I just I mean, I have a niece that was just born, and I'm already seeing, like, my brother and his wife reading to her all the time.
Speaker 3:They're talking to her all the time. And I and I think about this quote a lot because there's just already an advantage that she may be having that some other kids may not have, especially if they're from a single parent home who maybe there is not a presence there all the time able to spend the time reading or even just talking to the child. And so from the very get go, basically, there's a there's a disadvantage for kids who are coming from a poverty background. That's hard.
Speaker 2:Yep. Mental health is a huge barrier, anxiety, depression, ADHD, any of those Yeah. Kind of diagnosed issues that kids face. Disadvantaged youth have less access to mental health care Yeah. But they more than likely have the greatest need Mhmm.
Speaker 2:For those health services.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And some some that I found interesting in doctor Jean Rhodes' book, she talked about how disadvantaged youth, the parents of disadvantaged youth usually view a mentor as more a more palatable solution to mental health care than seeking out professional help.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so that that could be a huge barrier when it comes a mentor is not gonna be able to address all of a child's mental health concerns because they cannot prescribe medication for an issue that a child's facing. And I I realized that medication is not the end all be all for everything, but there are chemical imbalances Yeah. That can occur that really medication could be the solution Mhmm. That could help a child.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And so all all of those physiological things that could be addressed are not being addressed because there's just either a lack of access or lack of knowledge of access. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:And
Speaker 2:so a mentor can really help in in pointing people in the right direct direction to a medical health professional or provider seeking help Mhmm. That they might not seek themselves.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And even just the short term planning, survival versus long term planning of maybe maybe a parent even recognizes that their kid may be struggling with some of those things, but that parent is literally trying to put food on the table today to survive. And so they may be not at a place to think about some of these more abstract, long term, greater, grand scale issues that their kid may be facing. And that's not out of a lack of love for their kid whatsoever, but it's a a lack of just some of the resources that poverty strips families from.
Speaker 2:Yeah. You had mentioned a barrier is language?
Speaker 3:Yeah. Language registers. Every language in the world has 5 registers. The most important one to talk about in academics is the formal language register because any major test in the academic world, SAT, ACT, they're gonna be written in the formal language register. And so, basically, what the issue the barrier for kids from poverty, is this is not a a language register that they may be hearing at home at all.
Speaker 3:And so if they cannot literally understand the language of these written tests that are the gateway to college, that is a huge barrier. They're literally not gonna get past it. And then another thing that goes into that is in the rules of the middle class, which when you go into a job interview, there are rules of the middle class assumed there. One of those rules is to be able to speak in the formal language register. And if that is not taught to a kid, they're not gonna know it.
Speaker 3:And research has shown that it'll knock you out of an interview in 2 minutes.
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 3:In 2 minutes, your fate is decided if you come in and you can't speak in the formal language register. So that's huge.
Speaker 2:On another podcast, we talked about the concept of code switching.
Speaker 3:And so
Speaker 2:is that what you're talking about of understanding the language of the middle class that may not be your background, your experience, your colloquial way of talking Yeah. But you have to figure that out in order to survive Mhmm. And and interact within that environment you're seeking to be participating Mhmm. To participate in.
Speaker 3:Right.
Speaker 2:And so, I mean, we talk about that as, like, black people talk about all the time, like, talking white Yes. When they walk into white Yes. Majority environments.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:But for a kid from a hard place who's looking to, like how you said, like, interact in a middle class language environment Mhmm. They might not know that language, and so they can't even code switch. Right. Yeah. So that's
Speaker 3:Yeah. And they may have every qualification
Speaker 2:thing that that that exists, but it sucks even more that it's like, I don't know Spanish. I'm not gonna make
Speaker 3:it Right.
Speaker 2:If I go to Panama.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Maybe I will because I'm white. But Okay.
Speaker 3:But, yeah, that's I mean, that's literally what's happening is, yeah, they could have every qualification on paper. But if you can't speak in these kind of hidden rules of the formal register, you're not gonna make it on the ACT. You're not gonna make it on the SAT. You're not gonna get scholarships for college. You're kinda stuck.
Speaker 2:So, obviously, all these barriers are discouraging, not fun, but that's the reason we mentor. That's the reason we believe in mentoring relationships. We believe mentors can provide academic skills, help your mentee prepare for these kind of things, to develop noncognitive skills. So not necessarily just figuring out skills of the brain, but what are what are the other skills that may help them to succeed in those environments Mhmm. As well as providing access and support to succeeding academically
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:In which is very simple. It it's not as complicated as it sounds. Yeah. I think about accountability, like, one of the things we talked about in our junior high program was, like, checking homework. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:It was a very practical Yep. Step. Like, they are all in this season online. Homework is there. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:All our coaches have to do is pull up on their laptops and check. Hey. Do you have homework?
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And I'm not they're not depending on the kid to say yes or no. Yeah. They're just going to this thing saying, hey. This says you have homework. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:That one step of accountability helps encourage the kid to do their work.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And all it took was asking about it Yeah. And and seeing it and calling them to do it. Mhmm. You can't force a kid to do their homework. I'd I mean, if you're a parent, I guess you can.
Speaker 3:I don't know. I had many struggles at the dinner table with my dad over homework.
Speaker 2:I will beat you.
Speaker 3:Never that far.
Speaker 2:Hold up. Yeah. You didn't grow up in Magnolia. I'm just kidding. So what what are some practicals?
Speaker 2:That that's a practical. Accountability. How can you create a system of accountability for the kids you're mentoring? I think it's very simple. Ask them how school is going Yeah.
Speaker 2:And ask to see their work. Mhmm. More often than not, they're gonna be able to show you something they're working on, what they're working through, or at least talk about something they're learning.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:The fact that you're asking makes them leads them to believe you're gonna keep asking. Mhmm. And so as you continue to ask about their homework and things going on, there builds an expectation of this guy cares about Yeah. My homework. This guy cares about my education.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. And that influences you when you feel that that support right there of just someone asking about what you're doing.
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Not not sitting down doing the homework, but even just asking about it is a is a great way to help encourage academic growth.
Speaker 3:Mhmm. Yeah. I think another just practical thing is helping a kid maybe learn what kind of environment is easiest for them to learn in. If you notice that maybe the kid that you're helping with their homework, they get really distracted really easily. Even something as simple as asking, like, where do you sit in the classroom?
Speaker 3:Are you at the front of the class? Are you at the back of the class? What makes it hard for you to pay attention in class? And maybe being able to have a conversation with the mom or going with the the mom and setting up with the teacher possibly of saying, like, I think this would be a really simple switch. I think this kid, needs to sit at the front of the class because he's just getting distracted by everything else going around.
Speaker 3:And I think if you just put him up here, we're gonna see improvement. And so sometimes it's really, really simple of just moving where a kid's sitting in the in the classroom.
Speaker 2:We had a mom share with us how intimidated she has been about these, like, parent teacher conferences where she'll show up, and this teacher is listing off 10 things where her son needs to improve. Yeah. And, like, when they get to number 3, she's, like, crying Yeah. And overwhelmed. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And, like, this teacher's intentions are to develop a plan Mhmm. And help her guide her son into academic flourishing. Mhmm. But really what happens is this sense of overwhelmed burden and shame Mhmm. Kind of takes over Mhmm.
Speaker 2:In that moment, and and what she shared with us is, like, after I leave that meeting, I have no idea what they asked me to do because I was just feeling so much condemnation
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:About where my kid's at. And so in in this circumstance, the the mentor, his wife committed to attending these parent teacher conferences with the mom of his mentee just to be a support to help process all of that information, so that she's just not being berated by all of this stuff and being overwhelmed. That kind of support is huge Yeah. That's amazing. For a single parent to, like, not have to walk into that on their own, carrying everything else that's going on Right.
Speaker 2:But then feeling this weight and burden of their child's failure Mhmm. Within the system. I'm using quotes, like, because it's it's not just failure. It's failure within this system. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And and the teacher wants to help. And so educators, teachers, please, thank you so much for giving feedback and all of those things. I don't want Mhmm. Anyone to feel like that teacher's wrong Mhmm. And giving this list of 10 things.
Speaker 2:It's more of acknowledging the support that's necessary in order to implement and act upon those things. And so mentors, practically, I mean, I I think you can ask about that stuff with the the parent of the kid you're mentoring. If that's something that you could if you're willing to do it Yeah. Mhmm. Ask.
Speaker 2:Ask if that would be beneficial. And Yeah. I know that all the moms in our program want to see their boys succeed. And if their mentor was willing to help in that area, I think I think that they would take them up on the offer.
Speaker 3:Yeah. And I could I could see how that could feel like you're overstepping the boundary, or maybe that would be discouraging to the single mom who has to have somebody help her parent. But I don't think that that's what is happening at all. I think you're stepping in to advocate for the academic success of a kid that you love. And if as long as, like, the mom's on board with that, which I I would assume she would be, I think that's a great thing to do.
Speaker 2:Yeah. It's like it's like going to the hospital. Yeah. There's a ton going on. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And if you don't have an advocate who's there with you Yeah. While you're sitting in the bed waiting for a surgery or having something going on Mhmm. Who's, like, asking good questions, caring about your health care Mhmm. And fighting for you in the system, more often than not, you're just gonna be a a cog on the list of
Speaker 3:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:Of people. Yeah. And so it's like the people who have the most advocates are usually the ones getting the most support. Yep. Well, what happens within the school environment?
Speaker 2:The 2 parent households Yeah. Are the ones who have twice as many advocates fighting for a child within the school system. Yeah. Who's gonna receive the most support? Mhmm.
Speaker 2:That's just a very practical thing to recognize. Yeah. I'll share this quote. This this is from a book older and wiser from doctor Gene Rhodes. School professionals are sometimes the only college educated adults that marginalized youth routinely encounter, making them vitally important for connecting youth to new opportunities.
Speaker 2:Some experts have concluded that at least one strong relationship with a teacher is the single most important ingredient for vulnerable adolescents, academic development, and success. Mhmm. Here's the problem. Less advantaged youth do not feel the same sense of entitlement to their teacher's support and are less likely than upper and middle class peers to seek help from them. Less advantaged youth have not been socialized to think strategically about cultivating and maintaining these ties and are less likely to have help from their parents in managing their relationships with teachers with whom strong connections can have lasting positive effects.
Speaker 2:What's my practical here? Mentor, encourage your mentee's relationship with his teachers. Mhmm. Ask him about his teachers. Don't just ask about his homework.
Speaker 2:Ask him about his teachers, and help him to develop a relationship with his teachers. That that concept of asking for help, I I think that that is so interesting within this book of saying that disadvantaged youth youth are less likely to assume Mhmm. That the teacher wants to help them. Yeah. And so they're less likely to seek help.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. And so encouraging your mentee's relationship with his teachers is enabling him to to understand the support that that teacher is for them. Mhmm. That that teacher is on their side, which I know educators are known for letting students know that they're on their team. Yeah.
Speaker 2:But disadvantaged youth are less likely to believe that. Yeah. So how can you encourage that belief? We already mentioned homework check, just checking in about homework. You don't have to do their homework.
Speaker 2:I would encourage you not to do their homework. But
Speaker 3:Yes. Please don't.
Speaker 2:Check about their homework. Mhmm. Any other practicals, Beth?
Speaker 3:Again, I just think having an overview looking at maybe what other factors could be contributing. I know there was a kid in our program last year, and I talked about this already on the podcast, but he he was really struggling in school. And whenever I started asking him questions about that, it was because he wasn't sleeping at night and he was falling asleep in class. And they were struggling to get meals at that time, and so this is just a hungry, tired kid. And that is something really practical that can be solved.
Speaker 3:And so I think just having an awareness of what else may be contributing to this kid's struggle in school right now.
Speaker 2:Yeah. A last practical for for any mentor, I don't care how old the kid is you're mentoring, take them on a college visit. Mhmm. Yeah. You could take a kindergartner
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:To a to a college and show them the environment of older people looking to learn, and their their eyes will just, like, blow up by this kind of trip that you take them on. I remember my dad's friend invited me to go to a Texas A&M football game. Mhmm. And so I went to College Station, went to this game. I was 12 years old when I went to this game, and I don't think I would have gone to Texas A&M if it hadn't have been for that experience.
Speaker 2:And so just recognize the power Yeah. Of those experiences of of showing them colleges. Mhmm. Not just talking about going to college. Take them to a college.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Literally give them the vision.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And and I I think you'll you'll be planting seeds there of what their future could look like, and they can see students older than them walking to class with their backpacks and and recognizing, wow, this is like a school, but it's like a community of learning and all all this stuff, and you could put put dreams in in kids' minds just by taking those trips. Yeah. So do it. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Well, we hope that's helpful. So if you're looking to implement academic activities, those are some practicals for you. Thanks for listening to this series. It's been fun to kind of unpack some counterintuitive mentoring activities for mentor relationships, but our greatest desire is to see your mentee become whole and fulfill their potential. And so, if you've implemented any of this stuff, would you just let us know?
Speaker 2:We'd love to hear about practitioners, people who are putting into practice the things that we talk about on this podcast. So let us know about it. I'll even give you my number right now. 214 509-8005. Text me.
Speaker 2:Let me know what's going on. Send me a picture. We'd we'd love to to highlight what mentors are doing across the country to invest in kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. So thanks for listening. We are done with this series.
Speaker 2:We will catch you next week.