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The Siege of Terra has failed. Horus is dead. And four Chaos Space Marines — a Khornate berserker, a Slaaneshi noise marine, a Thousand Sons sorcerer who just fainted from psychic backlash, and a Nurglite champion — must flee the palace walls before the loyalists seal the net. The sorcerer wakes up convinced he's the greatest psyker alive. He is not. The gods have a sense of humor, and the retreat from Terra is just the beginning.
Website: https://www.narrativedeclaration.com
System: WH40K Black Crusade
Creators and Guests
What is WarHams: A Chaos Odyssey?
Four Chaos Space Marines. One terrified Guardsman. A cursed ship hurtling across the galaxy. Join us for a Warhammer 40,000 actual-play TTRPG campaign using the Black Crusade system — hilarious, grimdark, and utterly unhinged. Which Chaos God will the Guardsman ultimately choose? Who will prevail in the end?
You know one thing I like about you, Bethael?
Oh, Namath, I'm honored!
The little lord is shitting on your foot.
This little gibbering mass is more terrifying than a greater demon.
All right, who's ready to play a Chaos Odyssey?
Oh!
Here's the morning!
Spirits!
Wait, wrong thing.
That's right!
As Chaos Space Marines, we have two wounds now.
Quiver and fear, human Americans.
You're a red Corsair, you get three.
I know, I gotta change to a red Corsair, I gotta get another wound.
Get fucking good.
Also, like in our...
Mostly we're gonna kind of focus on this more of a podcast thing,
but for the video side, where we have all our talking images,
I like how it's like, here's two Space Marines,
or four Space Marines all surrounding one guy.
Because we're all just staring at him, going like...
Hulky's art!
Hey man!
Hulky's art is so perfect too, because he's looking around so fucking worried!
I'm so fucking scared, man! I'm so fucked!
If we had Lifos and Bethael looking the other direction, that would be very funny,
because then he would be the campfire.
Oh yeah.
We're staring at him.
I could flip this.
But that's a good idea!
Let me see if I could flip this, you know, we'll just do it live.
Yeah, yeah, do it live, do it live!
We'll just do it live!
Hi everybody!
As I kind of mesh with our overlay, you know, because we love doing everything just weird.
We're chilling.
We're chilling.
Oh god.
Well, that kind of works out.
Oh.
That kind of works.
You know that weird...
I don't know what it's called, but it's a psychological effect when you like, flip an image.
When you draw it one way, but then when you flip it, it looks all wrong for some reason.
Yes.
Like, I'm hoping we don't suffer that super bad here.
It's looking great.
Well, see, no, because Skelly would have already done that because she's an artist.
Yes.
Yeah.
She would have flipped this.
I don't know.
I've talked to a lot of artists, and flipping on canvas is controversial and scary.
Oh my...
Okay, okay.
Your idol-like animation looks so fucking disappointed in Hulky's character.
Like, just get on with it, like finger tapping!
Why are you so easy, immortal?
I'm just a person, sir.
I'm sorry.
Not anymore, you're not.
But...
Oh my god!
This is the campaign, by the way.
It's just a tough show with Hulky's character in the middle getting fucking accosted by four
guys.
Poor little imperial guy.
The subtitle for this campaign is Custody Battle.
Yeah.
Oh god.
Hi, everybody!
Sorry, just to get us on for the thing.
My bad, Arendelle.
Go!
Go!
Basically, welcome to a Chaos Odyssey.
I think the same thing we're going to go with on this one because of the weird shit
that Thurton has planned for us.
I think we're going to be Warhams at Chaos Odyssey.
We're doing all of our Warhammer stuff labeled as Warhams now, and we're going to be playing
the super duper old tabletop RPG from originally Fantasy Flight Games.
I think Cubicle 7 now has the rights and they sell it and stuff now, if I double checked
correctly.
Which you can go get it at cubicle7.com and get all the PDFs.
Not for free, but super cheap, actually.
This is like, what was it?
Like 20 something years old?
22?
21?
No, no, no.
This game came out in 2011.
Okay, so...
15 years old.
15, okay.
Don't say shit like that because it makes me wither into fucking dust.
So, it's an old system still.
Because I was there when this game was released and I was not a fucking youngster at that point,
so...
So, it's still an old system now by most standards now.
So, wither, wither, wither, die, die, die.
And we're going to be, as much as we're all goofy ha-has, with the two test sessions that
we've done, we found that this is, it's hilarious with the results that happen.
We'll still crack jokes here and there, but for our role playing, we're trying to keep
it more serious this time.
We want to see if we can do like a more serious story, and since we're all evil chaos
guys, there'll be more of an evil campaign, but we've all kind of did the nod of understandings
like, we're going to try not to be murder hobos the entire time.
It's easy that that is of like, oh, I disagree with you, Snap's neck.
You know, like, it's...
We want to do something different here.
We're going to see if we can do that different.
I would like to contest, and I'll be the first person to contest this.
We may in fact be an evil party.
Wow.
But we are no more evil than the last Warhammer party we had.
That's fair!
That's substantially different in terms of morality.
Just style.
Yeah.
We wear a different coat.
We're just bigger.
I don't know anything about that.
Kelrana is a pillar of moral values.
Yeah.
But...
I'm going to fucking...
I'm excited.
Yeah.
I'm excited for us to go through it and stuff.
Oh, same.
Oh, yeah.
Because it's going to be a wacky, wacky time.
So, of course, we want to have fun with us and everything else.
We've done our best with the Foundry module to hack it together for it.
So, things are going to be wrong.
We're going to...
Things are going to mess up.
We're going to have to go, uh-oh.
But we're going to do our best, so it kind of helps with all the chart looking.
Kind of make that a little bit easier for us and stuff.
But I'm super excited to play some Black Crusade Thurston.
Yeah.
Because the introduction of our characters are going to come through you, I think.
What adventure...
They sure are.
...do you have for us today?
All right.
Welcome, welcome, one and all, to Chaos Odyssey.
And we're going to dive right in.
I'm going to put...
Oh.
Odo gets a pass.
Um...
Speaker and Zorin.
I'm going to need you both to roll me D10s to get us started here.
Absolutely.
Sure thing.
Also made it easier by putting the dice rolling thing on the bottom there for us.
Uh, I got a nine.
And I got a six!
The holy numbers!
Of our respective patrons!
High five!
Oh, yeah!
That's good.
That's good.
That's good.
In this game, lower is better.
So...
We begin...
Speaker, you can read this quote.
In character?
Uh, this can be...
This can be general voice.
It's not in character.
These are quotes.
You can do it in character if you want, though.
As long as it comes through.
Well, you know, we can do these in character.
Sure.
They will say in their ignorance, in the decades and centuries that follow, that we ran from terror in disgrace.
That is a lie.
We left terror because there was nothing else worth fighting for.
Horus had failed us at the ultimate moment, and the Emperor was left a rotting corpse before the powers we dutifully served.
What use was fighting for a dead world?
What remained was the survival of the primordial truth.
Excerpt from the 12th Testament of Xol Ananke.
On the 13th day of Secundus, the bombardment of Terra began.
It's some months after that initial bombardment of the Imperial Palace by the liberating forces of the War Master Horus Lupercal come to save humanity from the tyranny of an emperor who would declare himself God from a golden throne on the birth world of humanity.
Months.
Months.
Well, weeks at first that turned into months.
And those months stretched on when at the apex of the battle, time itself broke down just like everything else on the cradle of humanity during that apocalyptic war.
Events happened.
The fall of the Lionsgate spaceport.
The riding of the White Scars to retake it.
Follow the outer palace, the outer walls, the eventual battle at the Eternity Gate itself, where two angels, one golden and one red, fought each other before the doors themselves closed, sealing off the final fortress of the Emperor.
As we begin, the siege has reached its climax, past the battling of angels, past the breaking of the final wall, and all that remains is the last bits of meat within.
We start in the ruins, stained streets of what remains of humanity's birth world, the skies choked with ash and dust and radioactive materials that will make this planet unusable for generations to come.
And as we start, we start with Bethael the Brass Hound, standing amidst the wreckage and ruins that lead towards the final fortress, towards the very entrance to the Sanctum Imperialis, where the last defenders of the Emperor mount what pitiful defense they can.
And in front of Bethael, and in front of Bethael, in smoke that rises up all around, obscuring everything, but one thing is visible.
A corpse on the ground, clad in ceramite, a body that's face down, even the color of the armor, pitched and dusted by the ochre clouds that fill the sky and fill the ground and fill everything.
But it's not the corpse that Bethael needs to worry about.
It's the charging form of a space marine in Mark IV armor, in the crimson red of the blood angels, charging with a chainsword that has no teeth left to it, rushing into combat.
All right, so here's what we're going to do, Bethael.
We're going to go right into combat.
My favorite part.
Let's hope this goes well, otherwise this is going to be a short campaign.
I die in the prologue, I'm going to kill someone.
All right, if you'll roll me your initiative, which is a d10 plus your agility, I believe, yeah.
Indeed, indeed.
I'll give you my d10 plus my agility bonus, which is a four.
Oh, wait, fuck.
I need to actually click on my button.
You do.
Click on the button.
Use the button.
I'll let you even have this little reroll with the button.
It's the same roll.
It won't save you.
But it is Khorne's holy number.
It is Khorne's holy number.
It is Khorne's holy number.
We are getting, we are getting, we are getting holy numbers.
Uh, well, well placed.
Remember to say how loud it's me.
Bethael from, from, from the ochre mist runs in this space marine.
This former brother in the crimson red armor that mirrors as much of the armor that you now wear.
Once a proud white and blue livery, now stained with the blood of countless hundreds of foes.
Once the regal sons of Sanguinius, this one has lost himself.
This one seems more like the legionaries you fight beside as he comes at you with a chainsword that doesn't even rev properly.
A snarl, indistinguishable words as he charges into you, raising the weapon, um, coming at you.
The weapon itself, again, not really as effective as it should be, but he raises it to make a charging attack at you, rushing in.
I'm gonna see what happens.
Oof, you are struck, you are struck in your right leg as he advances towards you.
The damage of this weapon tearing at you, it does 19 points of damage.
Ouch!
So, with your, and there's only, uh, there's no points of penetration on this.
No penetration, okay.
Okay.
So you'll take, uh, if you compare that to your, uh, armor protection and your toughness bonus.
Yes.
Um, and I, and I apply it, for example, it should give you, yeah, you'll take three points of damage.
Very nice.
Uh, as this, as this, this, this figure has come out of the sand and dust around you, screaming incoherently and more bludgeoning your right leg than trying to tear into it.
Um, that is the son of Sanguinius's turn.
It is your go.
What do you do?
Right.
Uh, and I will ask you, Thurston, given, uh, the timeframe right now, am I still frenzied?
At this point, you've been left alone for some time.
This is the first time that you've kind of come back into the fight after what seems like minutes, when minutes seem like hours in this constant hellhole of a battle.
Your frenzy comes and goes.
At this point, you've had a single moment of clarity.
If you wanted to, you would need to re-engage the frenzy.
Yes.
Spend the turn.
All right.
Then in that case, Beth Isle is going to take the blow and kind of just give a big snarl, bare his teeth at this individual, but he will remain lucid for the moment as to savor this dipping in and out of the frenzy.
And he is just going to respond with a wild uppercut with the chain axe and, uh, let's do it to it.
Uh, will it out of target?
Do I need to?
Oh, here we go.
I can click on that square.
You can target the big guy.
Yep.
The square.
Go.
Hmm.
Okay.
Hits, uh, with two degrees of success on his left leg.
So just kind of a sweeping blow in response.
And I will give you, um, Oh, a zealous hatred.
Yeah.
So it'll be plus seven critical damage when you are applying.
Very nice.
Uh, we will.
Um, and I do have my, uh, flesh render.
So, uh, I will give you two additional die.
How do we determine this works with 2d10s again?
Just two additional die.
Uh, so, yeah.
So which one?
Let's, let's, let's read this out for everyone so that we're all on the same page.
Uh, what, what does flesh render do?
Uh, the character has a taste for the massive damage that can be inflicted with chain weapons and other melee weapons that were, but the flesh of an enemy is when inflicting damage.
With a melee weapon that has the tearing quality, the character rolls two additional die for damage rather than the normal one for using a tearing weapon and discards the lowest two damage dice results.
Yeah.
Um, so at this point you can just, yeah, you can roll two and then we can, yay.
And then we'll just count whatever the higher.
Calculate it.
Up, up, upper options are there.
Gotcha.
Oh, well, that's easy.
Yeah.
All right.
So that will actually increase it because your initial roll was a one and a 10.
So that's going to do 38 raw damage with four Ben.
Um, yeah.
Um, all right.
So with that, you are going to let us apply the damage here.
All right.
So this, this does a, what the heck is going on there?
Um, I don't know why that was not working, but applied.
Oh, it's cause I have you targeted.
What the, I, I've, excuse me.
I've, excuse me.
I have done a little boo-boo here.
You're a guy.
You killed Bethel.
No.
And I'll do it again.
Um, which I did.
This is, it's cause I'm so used to the other ones that like the pathfinder one we do auto goes to the target.
So this one goes to what I have targeted.
Yeah.
So I've got to just get used to that.
So in your initial turn, I'm just going to scroll up and see.
You took three damage.
So you should still be three.
Oh, I got you.
I got you.
I got it.
You're good now.
And then what I'll do is I will change my target.
All right.
Get rid of that target.
This guy, this should, how I think if I click revert.
What the?
Yeah.
Okay.
Um, so this should instead do a grand total of 30, which is going to, well, let's actually see.
Yeah.
It's going to do 30, 28 plus it's going to do 38 damage to this guy.
Oof.
Um, that is going to be subtracted by 16.
So you're going to do 22 points.
Um, so that is actually going to do two critical damage, uh, to that left leg.
What remains of it?
Well, you know, it's, it's not, it's not.
Um, so actually we don't want to click the button here because the math is actually incorrect
because it won't let me revert this fully.
So don't click that button because that will be incorrect.
Uh, instead of what you do is you split open the target's kneecap.
Um, and now he has to make an agility test or fall prone to critical damage.
Uh, so I will, uh, and suffer from blood loss as well.
So I'm just going to roll this.
Uh, they are going to be at a minus 10 because they are quite frenzied.
I'm going to roll that.
The bloodier, the better.
Oh, they are failed.
So they will go prone.
Um, which will cause then they will now suffer from a blood loss.
Your, your chain, um, your chain hammer, this immense weapon swings around again,
catches the kneecap of this Astartes, cracks into it.
Um, and, uh, you, you hear, you hear the, like the crunch of it as this space, as this
blood angel falls to the, to, to, to his knees, essentially.
Uh, somehow he's not like face down.
Um, the blood loss though, you can see crimson leaking out.
So now normally what happens with blood loss is you suffer a, you have a 10% chance of dying
dying each round unless blood losses tended to, uh, and Astartes does not have that.
So, uh, a space marine, uh, of, of the emperor's creation.
In fact, only has a 5% chance to die, um, each round when suffering blood loss.
So I'm just going to roll that.
Does not bleed out.
Um, and in fact gets up from, from his prone state rising.
Uh, there's, there's no like opportunity attacks or anything like that, but, um, that
does prevent him from really focusing on you.
And instead he just swings the, the, the, the broken chain sword again.
There's no conversation, nothing.
There's just, just a, an unquenched rage as he raises up the weapon and tries to smash
you with it, um, and comes at you pretty, pretty tough.
So let's see what happens here.
In fact, you can tell that he has no care for defense in this matter.
He's all out of attacking you.
Oh, which will fail.
Um, so swinging wildly with this, this chainsword bashing it against your pauldrons.
You just, again, this insensate screaming as the chain sword is coming down.
The other hand, the fist is punching into your ceramide.
It's not doing anything, but there's clanging like the tolling of bells off your armor as
the fist is punching in.
It is your go, Bethael.
Right.
Uh, as this, uh, this, this struggle is happening, Bethael is going to, again, bare his teeth.
His lips are starting to curl at this point.
The smell of blood rushing to his head, and he just gives a feral smile as he leans
into this blood angel, and I'm going to, uh, bring the hammer down.
Okay.
And I, I don't know why I tabbed off of my correct page.
Eh.
You were, you were, you were taken by the nails.
My nails!
Oh!
Your nails!
Well, I have...
You will flinch as a just throb of pain, I'm sure, from what has recently transpired.
Yeah.
Uh, your hammer goes, goes into the ground.
The, the teeth on each end of the floor sort of ends of this churning into the groundwork
here, the fine marble inlay of the palace walkways torn up as your weapon smashes into
the ground.
It's at this point that your, your opponent sort of takes, takes the briefest stock before
raising up their, their, their broken chain sword again, and this time they bring it down
in response, trying to smash you, um, in the head.
Ooh!
See what happens.
Oh, they go wild again, just entirely missing.
Um, not, not enough at all.
Uh, but you have time to, to sort of bring your weapon around.
Again, um, as a reminder, you have opportunities on what you want to do for your, your different
sort of like attacks.
You can do an all out attack if you don't want to like dodge or parry in return.
Um, lots of, lots of opportunities.
What would you like to do though?
As this, uh, as this blood angel is continuing to try to strike at you, but failing, you're
sort of moving around each other in, in guarded maneuvers, even though this blood angel seems
to have given out to, to his rage.
All right.
Um, well, my weapon's unwieldy, so I'm not doing any guarding anyway.
Uh, blood for the blood God.
I'm going to all out attack this guy.
Just let out a, uh, a roar that tapers off into something like a hyena laugh and is going
to just swing with all his might.
And, uh, that's a 66.
That is definitely going to hit.
Um, so please, uh, yeah, roll damage on the target, please.
Uh, and then I'll manually do my flesh rendy.
Yep.
Uh, so you will get another four, you'll get another four on top.
So, oh wait, doesn't need a nine.
Nevermind.
Um, yeah, so you will get another four, five.
Uh, yeah, you'll get another nine on top of this.
So you'll hit for 34.
Um, we'll apply the damage here and see what happens.
Um, so you will do, uh, 13 damage.
Um, which will begin to, at this point, tear into the target.
Um, I actually need to adjust this a little bit.
Uh, this is going into, where was this?
Into the body, I believe you hit.
Was that right?
Yes.
Yeah.
Yeah.
So, so you, you go in with this rending blow to the body.
Um, kind of, as he's sort of gone for your face, you hold back, you take your, your chain hammer, you, you send it flying.
Uh, the powerful blow cleaves the target, uh, from gullet to groin and internal organs spill out on the ground.
Um, except what happens is the entire, um, like area is now covered in a spray of blood.
The nearby four meter radius around this target just is covered in crimson for a moment.
The ochre sands here give way, uh, as, as blood flies everywhere.
And the, the blood angel collapses, um, what's left of the body, torn up and ripped, uh, by your chain hammer into four bisected parts, slashed everywhere, sent hurled by the momentum of your attack, uh, drenching the nearby terrain, um, as the blood angel falls.
Going to whatever is the largest piece of him, the torso and head, I imagine going to kind of hook my fingers underneath and just left the body over my head and just let it all rain down, just dripping into my own armor.
Just as, as you do this, as you, as you, you exhilarate in this moment.
Um, this is a proud moment for you as you, uh, have overcome a foe of, of the, the false emperor.
Um, as you, as you exhilarate in this, a figure steps out from the smoke and kind of comes between you and the corpse of the blood angel on the ground.
The only corpse that you see present here.
It's your brother.
Helbroth's scorched teeth in somehow still almost pristine white armor.
Um, with red markings of your new adherence to the crimson path.
Your brother breathing heavily comes out of the ochre cloud.
A fine kill.
Every word that comes from him is this, like, barely restrained anger.
Going to eff the body down.
I'll force the rest of the fight.
Deep the inner palace.
It awaits.
So much more killing.
Beth Isle's going to nod very enthusiastically.
Uh, kind of almost instinctively following, falling behind him and just.
We are.
We must go.
And then, and then at that, like, moment, there is this, like, absolutely sick sonic guitar riff that cuts through the, like, sound and cacophonous, um, din of battle that surrounds the area.
The sort of discharging of bolters and laz fire and shouts and screams.
All are sort of put to, to quiet by this almost comical, uh, sonic riff of audible assault that comes from nearby.
What are you doing, Beth Isle?
Oh, me.
I thought we were coming to speaker.
Beth Isle's head is just going to snap around like, like a feral animal almost.
Do I, do I recognize this sound as generally not something I need to rush toward with steel bared?
Um, I mean, there's, there's a lot of, a lot of ways that you could, you could interpret this.
I would say a good, a good situation here.
Uh, let's do a skill test here.
I'm sure you're good at those.
Uh, let's do a routine, so plus 20 awareness test.
Sort of get your bearings.
Let's do 20 awareness.
Scroll down here.
There we go.
There we go.
Untrained in that.
Lol.
There we go.
Leave.
I, I don't see shit or fuck.
I'm still covered in blood.
I'm wiping it out of my eyes.
Beth Isle's just going to whip around, kind of throw in a little spray as he does.
Bye.
Byzanty.
Yeah.
Will you give me an easy awareness test?
That's plus 30.
You got it, boss.
That would be my greatest pleasure in life.
All right.
So it's an awareness test, you said?
Yep.
Okay.
Let me very quickly find my awareness.
And this will be an easy one.
Yeah.
Oh.
That's a 16.
You find the figures through the cloud.
You find, standing one figure is Beth Isle, a member of Angron's Legion, the World Eaters.
You can see the stained red blood, the iconic chain hammers utilized by some of their more berserk kin.
And the second figure you see is the corpse on the ground beside.
I was wondering when I'd get to see my other brothers from the distant Legion.
I have to say, you're the ones I least wanted to behold, but I'll take what I can get.
How are we enjoying festivities, brothers?
You're loud.
I've yet to begin to scream.
Now, shall we make music together?
Will I have to make a psalm out of your screams?
At that, he's going to kind of, you know, like a dog raising its hackles, just kind of bare the teeth.
With these sharp and brass plated and just, no, not today.
Another day for certain.
He's going to bit just a glob of blood at Byzanti's feet.
You're smarter than you look, you pernicious little pup.
You have the honor of addressing Byzanti Misfit of the Emperor's children.
Who am I to take command of?
You are to take command of no one.
You speak to Beth Ayer, the Brass Hound.
Well, as a musician, I find that my position makes me uniquely suited to directing brass.
If you try it, then perhaps I will reconsider what I actually said.
Ah, you amuse me, Beth Ayer.
I'll let you live for now.
Please, we'll have plenty of time to turn our weapons upon one another later.
For now, it is the will of our gods that we bring low this benighted emperor.
Can I count on your acts to make that happen?
Beth Ayer is like, still hackles raised, but he just nods.
Beth Ayer, as this goes on, there's a ticking, there's a ticking in your head.
This impulse, this talking is so monotonous, this tick, tick, tick.
Your teeth are almost chattering.
There's this moment that you feel that the only release might be to strike this person with your hammer.
You can control it, but you feel that, that clawing, that tick, tick, tick, tick from inside your cortex.
Your rewired brain.
Beth Ayer is going to reach out and grab kind of the neck piece of Byzanti's armor and pull him in close and just...
I tire of talking.
There is blood to be spilled and we will find it now.
Three hounds.
Three hounds emerge from the mist.
Byzanti is responding and as he begins to speak from his disfigured face.
Three hounds, the shadows of them, first visible, emerge from the surrounding ochre dust cloud.
They begin to feast on the corpse of the Astartes.
Yes.
We will do the same.
There's feasting to be had.
I would have never taken you for an animal lover.
And I'll push this coronate off of me.
Come, let your weapon and mine make sweet music together.
Or let us both be quickly parted.
No music, only screaming.
That's a key I can play to.
As you turn together, as you turn to make your way towards the exposed flesh of the inner palace, I want you both to make me a terrifying fear check.
This will be a fear check at a minus 30 modifier.
So that will be a willpower test at minus 30.
That bodes well.
That bodes really well.
Yeah, that bodes great.
I'm feeling really good about this.
Minus 30.
Woof.
Does a 93 pass?
No.
No.
A one?
Woof.
Cheers.
I ain't afraid.
I ain't afraid of a jack or shit.
So, so by Santi and Beth Thiel's turn.
They are preparing to continue on their way.
All right.
Hey, hey speaker.
Hey, how you doing buddy?
It's nine degrees of failure.
That's pretty cool.
Yeah.
Do I get to have a cool moment here?
We're only 1d 100 plus 90.
1d 100 plus 90?
You got it, Waz.
Yeah.
That's going to be a 61 plus 90.
151.
That's the amount of Pokemon there are in the Kanta region.
Okay.
Yay.
I love that.
It's very good.
You are overcome immediately.
Um, both of you feel this.
Both of you immediately feel this.
Something in the cosmic order has changed.
Something tremendous has happened.
By Santi, you have rolled a 151 on the shock table, which reads as follows.
The creature slumps helplessly to the ground where he can do nothing but weep, jibber, and tear at his own flesh for the next 1d 5 plus 1 rounds.
In this, you will continue to suffer a minus 20 penalty on all checks until the end of the encounter.
As you quite literally begin to jibber and weep at what has happened, something has entirely changed.
Okay.
Give me another willpower test, but this one is just challenging.
Just plus zero.
Okay.
That's a 71.
Okay.
Bethael, you're fine.
You don't need to make the second check.
You do not need to make this check.
However, that will be a failure.
This could be an excellent character development moment.
Okay.
Byzanty, give me another 1d 100.
I love tables.
I love this game.
Everybody.
1d 100 is a great absolutely.
It is 62.
I'm going to regret this so much.
So you have you've failed this willpower.
Again, this is a cosmic unraveling.
However, it is shaking you and it's changed your character to the core.
I'm going to be able to make this check.
I'm going to make this check.
However, that will be a failure.
This could be an excellent character development moment.
Okay.
Byzanty, give me another 1d 100.
I love tables.
I love tables.
I love this game, everybody.
1d 100 is a great.
Absolutely.
It is.
It is.
62.
I'm going to regret this so much.
So you have, you failed this willpower.
Again, this is a cosmic unraveling.
It is shaking you and it's changed your character to the core.
Uh, you have now gained a disorder from this, this formative moment in your existence.
I fight.
I walk on Holy Terra.
Two seconds later, get one of the mental illness.
It's right.
It's right.
You've been fighting here for like eight plus months.
You've been blasting with a mental illness theme.
I was like, I'm a cool chaos guy.
Two seconds later.
Tell me about your mother, Byzanty.
Um.
True!
She was terrible growing up.
Because, Byzanty, as the shock of the War Master's death rushes over you, and the
unraveling of the immaterial world that has overlaid itself on Holy Terra takes its toll
its toll on your psyche.
Um, you've, I'm going to regret this.
This is like the worst fucking role you could have got.
Not for you, but for me, because, you know, I'm going to read this disorder that you've
acquired.
You've acquired the secretive disorder.
Oh, boy.
Let me read this to you.
Uh, even among the fellowship who value secrets, this character's obsessive need to hold secrets
is remarkable.
Well, this makes them generally trustworthy when it comes to protecting information.
It also makes them nearly worthless in roles where communication and exchange of information
are necessary, such as, you know, compact or even delivering simple messages.
Are you carrying me?
Yes.
Can you talk for my social power?
This, this will be fine.
This will be fine.
Characters with this disorder have a plus five bonus on any willpower test made to resist
giving information to interrogation of torturers, but must make a difficult minus ten willpower
test to answer even the most simplest questions or pass on the most mundane information in regular conversations.
Fucking awesome.
You're so screwed.
Oh, my God.
The antisocial socialite.
I can't.
Are you with the emperor's children?
No.
No.
No.
Look, we, we had an agreement when this campaign started that the dice land where the
the dice land.
Oh, I'm, I'm, I'm plugged in.
I'm plugged in.
I'm plugged in.
Locked in.
So Bethael, at this moment, you see, you feel, it's like you, you feel something like
something intrinsically different has happened in the cosmos.
And as speaker, your character is, uh, let me, let me just reread this for, you know, effect.
Uh, slumped helplessly on the ground, weeping, gibbering, and tearing at your own flesh.
Um, the hounds that are by the corpse by you, Bethael, as you, as you turn and look at them, they begin to
discorporate before you.
Their, their forms, like, it, it, it's hard to describe, but it looks as though some invisible hand has grabbed their skin and pulled it back.
But as it's pulling them, they're fading, like, being, being pulled out of existence.
Uh, you see the strains as they try to reach for more of the flesh in front of them.
What?
Uh, movement, which is the severity of the body of the taller.
And then they disappear.
Oh, gewashes.
Uh!
Um, to the full surface.
On your feet!
Uh!
Um, lost.
It is lost.
It is, though, huh, uh, .
Sanity returns to you now.
I rolled minimum.
The Warmaster is gone.
The Warmaster has fallen.
No, no, no, no.
There's still no blood to be shed.
This is not over.
It is the grandest stage of all time,
and we are finished on it.
Weep with me.
Quiet.
We are not finished.
As you shout quiet,
and then continue on,
you hear the sounds of bolter fire
and las discharges and screams
have suddenly abated,
as though everyone present on the throne world
has taken a moment to stop.
Your scream is the first to echo
before the sounds pick up again,
and you hear the sounds of bolters.
These sounds are very much
like on the day you landed on the throne world.
The unified, defiant lines
of the palace defenders,
staccato bolt shells hurled out,
shouts and defiance being leveled
against you from within,
where once the shouting and victorious chanting
was coming from the force pressing down,
now you hear it coming from the direction
you were heading towards.
What?
It's war, husband!
It's war!
Come to our senses!
What were you talking about?
We have lost a chance
at true and absolute victory.
This war is not going to end this eve,
or tomorrow, or the day after that.
And I...
Well, I can't help but find that all rather sad,
can't you?
Bethiel is going to blink a couple of times,
not quite understanding.
I'm assuming still feels that ticking,
and he's going to kind of ball up one of his...
The ticking is stopped.
Oh.
And as you sort of feel,
like you feel the anger and the rage,
but you don't have that cerebral tick,
that push, something...
It's like some weight has lifted.
And as you're comprehending this,
there's like a crackle in your vox.
As you hear, like, over static,
the voice of Helbrose.
Brother, there's a ship.
What happened?
We have...
We have to go.
We have to go.
Khan has taken the Conqueror.
They're going.
There's a fire up there.
We can reach it.
I'm sending you the coordinates.
You have to go now.
The golden...
The golden ones are leaving the palace.
We have to pull back,
or there will be nothing left.
Then we will shed blood another day.
We get up.
Come.
You.
Leave?
Leave?
No, we can't.
We can't leave.
There's so much undone.
We may have lost,
but we must still...
No.
There is more to do elsewhere.
Blood to be shed elsewhere.
And if we die here,
then I suppose we will have no way to shed it.
You may get on your feet.
Wait a second.
Wait a second.
Or you may die here at the gate.
Hold on.
Bethel.
Bethel.
Most of the Emperor's children
broke ranks and discipline
and left to maraud among the civilian populations.
Do you know what this means?
This means that if I move quickly,
I can be the first one to regroup
and control proceedings afterwards.
Fine!
Let the stage be cleared!
We go!
Lead me forth to our escape!
Come.
Fine.
I don't know what that means.
Well, I imagine as a cornate,
you don't know many things.
So I'll let you glimmer about in suspense
as you lead me to my chariot.
Another word.
And I tear that grill off your face
and see what meat remains beneath it.
Save the threats for safety.
Now we have common gods.
Let us move!
Fine.
Hey, uh, is Zoran?
I'm snoring.
Oh, he's snoring.
Can you give me a willpower test at minus 30?
Sure can.
Oh, no!
That's a 92, but my target was 42.
Six degrees of failure.
That's good, right?
Zoran, you want to roll me a D100 plus 60?
Yes, you're here.
Oh.
It's a triple.
That's great.
Well, one D100 plus 60?
Yep.
Six zero.
Oh!
The emperor's greatest weapon,
the mental illness beam.
That's 119, Thristano.
No.
Okay.
So, Bethael, Byzantine.
As you are continuing through,
first of all,
the ochre mist of this battle zone
begins to lift,
almost symbolically with what has happened.
Behind you, silhouetted starkly,
are the walls of the Inner Sanctum,
almost teasing you with their presence.
And the sweet, sweet meat
of the imperial aristocracy
and best warriors that lay within,
now denied to you.
As you continue to make your way away,
you find another figure.
Um, this one is garbed in,
um, and it won't match the artwork right now,
but, um, is garbed in metallic red armor,
um, with a sheen.
Uh, arcane sigils daub their,
their, their armor.
Uh, they have a helmet
that they wear.
It is a member
of Magnus's Thousand Sons.
Uh, Zoran, um,
you can also, uh,
give me a challenging
plus zero willpower test.
Okay, sure, Ben.
We're gonna see if you develop a complex.
Ooh, please do.
Oh, no.
Hey, Zoran!
But my target's 72!
No!
No!
It really feels like
we're playing Traveler right now.
You really did.
We really fucked up!
Horace is dead!
Yeah, yeah.
I was like,
what would Horace dying be
on the fear scale?
And I'm like,
oh, the top of the fear scale.
Obviously.
Look, um,
if you followed a lesser god
and he died
and you felt the psychic aura of it,
you'd develop a little mental illness too.
Yeah, true.
I also like that
this is gonna force roleplay
on some of you,
which is super fun.
Zoran, roll me a V100.
We're gonna find out
what disorder
your character gets.
I got a 78.
Oh, fucking Christ.
Okay.
Okay, I'm gonna read this one.
Secret of Two!
Oh, my God.
Each of them are different
based on the gods.
Oh, good!
Well, that makes sense
because Keeper of Secrets.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dark magics.
The character is convinced
that he is a powerful sorcerer.
Well, this is in fact
occasionally the case.
More likely,
the character has few
or no powers at all.
He is obsessed
with all things arcane.
He collects ancient
and blasphemous stones,
whether he understands them or not,
icons,
and anything else
related to sorcery
or psychic powers.
The character suffers
a minus five
to all interaction tests
when dealing
with normal individuals
due to his boorish nature
and need to let everyone know
that he is a powerful sorcerer.
When in the presence
of actual psychers,
this penalty increases
to minus 10
due to actual sorcerers
sorcerers losing patience.
Holy shit!
You're a fucking poser!
I don't know.
I don't know.
I don't know.
You need to get in on this, dude.
You're just...
Welcome back, Lauren.
Welcome back from the dead.
Holy shit.
I fucking love what this is.
If there's one thing
the first few minutes
of this session has taught me
is that Chaos Gods are real
and they have a real good sense of humor.
Uh-huh.
Holy shit.
Oh, that's so good.
Yeah.
Beautiful.
Just so I can note it down.
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
What's it called one more time?
What they do?
It's called Dark Magics.
It's located on page 278
of the Black Crusade rulebook.
Speaker, yours is secretive
on page 279.
All right.
I just want to make sure
I have that on my notes.
Oh, shit.
Oh, my fucking God.
He just got more passionate
about his hobby
and more annoying.
Oh.
Zoran,
your character
on the initial failed fear test.
So you fainted
and remained unconscious
for about a minute
and you are regaining consciousness.
They're still a bit shaken
as these two figures,
Bethael and Byzante,
approach.
As you kind of wake up,
Byzante and Bethael,
you see this red armored figure.
By the way,
if you're wondering
why it's red armored,
it's because during
the Horus heresy
up to the Siege of Terra,
the Thousand Suns
had metallic red armor
instead of the blue armor
they have in the modern day.
But yeah,
you see these two brothers
as you wake up.
More than anyone,
Byzante,
you know,
or sorry,
more than anyone,
I should say,
Lifas,
you know what has happened.
Like intrinsically,
you know that the War Master's
bid has failed,
that he is slain,
and now the powers
of the Immaterium
are receding.
In fact,
you can tell
at this exact moment,
you are cut off
from your wellspring
of psychic abilities.
Oof.
But you also are
the greatest sorcerer
who ever lived,
as we have now discovered.
Of course.
Zoran,
Zoran,
can I help lead you
into this new delusion?
Yeah, go for it.
Give me a prompt.
All right.
You there!
Son of Magnus!
You felt what's happened, yes?
Or are you a false sorcerer?
Jesus Christ.
I fucking love
this system.
Yeah,
Tables are great.
Yeah.
As he's looking
at his fucking hands,
Lifas,
you know,
just,
just,
in disbelief
that all the efforts
that they have gone through,
all the suffering
that him and his brothers
have gone through
at the hands
of the horrible loyalists
following that shit
and corpse emperor.
He looks at it's like,
but I am the one.
I am the one.
And he looks over
and he hears
this whiny,
screechy,
metal voice
coming from the side.
He goes,
of course,
of course,
I have felt it.
I,
the magnificent
Lifos,
bringer of the
geist,
the rude slayer
of dogs,
have been able
to feel it,
obviously,
for I am one of the
highest ranking
sorcerers
of Prosperus.
most excellent,
fair wizard.
We,
therefore,
must be getting
the hell out of here,
yes?
I do agree.
What form of
transportation
have you found?
I'm most intrigued.
He begins to walk
towards you guys,
like he gets
a little air of confidence
with him,
his chest is out
a little bit,
letting his gait flow.
He has his four staff
with him.
He's looking as majestic
as possible
of like,
yes.
The cave is flowing.
Yeah,
like,
even if it's not flowing,
he has the edge
of his staff at the bottom,
like,
pushing it a little bit.
Just like,
it's dirt,
lips.
He's like,
Zoran?
Yes?
Can I,
can I set a hero point?
No!
Hero point?
We're not heroes, bro.
I,
I like to think,
I like to think
that Lifos,
in seconds earlier,
was the most,
like,
oh,
I'm not sure
if this is really
the right thing.
I don't know
if really
we should be doing
a chaos guide.
And then this happened
and we are now
dealing with Lifos
forever after
that moment
two seconds ago.
When that character
ceased to be
and now we have this one.
Yeah.
Beth Isle is going,
you know that face
that dogs make
whenever they smell
something really bad?
Like when you hold up
a piece of broccoli
to them
and they like
Beth Isle is making
that face
as he is looking
between the Slaaneshi
and the wizard,
two of his least
favorite things.
And he's just,
I've been sent coordinates.
We are getting
the hell out of here.
Excellent.
Let us make haste then.
I would love
to tag along
to make sure
our glorious conquest
can continue
far into the future.
Allow me
to help us
on our way.
And he begins
to bring his staff up
as if to kind of
go side to side
with you.
And as he tries
to call upon
his warp powers,
he notices
it doesn't show.
He's like,
I will
foresee
any dangers
in our path.
Forward.
Lean over to
Byzanti.
Was something
supposed to happen?
I don't know
these wizards,
they're all the same
to me.
Word.
And we're gonna
keep
moving toward
the coordinates
my good brother
sent me.
Yeah.
So you continue
to make your way
away from the palace.
Again,
the walls
of the inner sanctum
become smaller
and smaller
the further away
you depart.
You can see
now that the sky
is awash
with craft.
You can see
that there are
mass bulk haulers
transitioning
into the atmosphere
not since
the start
of the siege
was the sky
this packed.
In fact,
most of the dust
clouds are being
pushed away
by the sheer
number of
aircraft that
are coming in
and out of
orbit.
As you see,
a panoply
of colors
ascending
from
imperial
militia,
servants
of the dark
empire of
Horus
and his
various dark
compliances
now pulling
off of the
surface of
Terra,
the landers
of the
true
mechanicum
quickly
and expediently
and efficiently
removing the
few remaining
Titan assets,
all of this
visible as
you trek.
Eventually,
you come
across
a
single
Legion
aircraft.
It's notable
because of
its midnight
blue
appearance,
the streaking
tracers of
lightning
across its
hull.
It sits
in what
appears to be
a canyon
made artificially
by collapsed
hab units
of the
interior
of the
palace zone.
As you get
closer,
you can see
that the
rear hatch
of this
vessel is
open,
the lumens
inside
beckoning
within.
Bethael,
you see
Helbroth,
this dark
white figure
standing on
the exit
ramp of
the vessel,
arms crossed
as though
waiting for
you.
As you
kind of
mutter this,
you're still
a bit away,
Helbroth turns
and begins
to just
ascend up
into the
fire raptor.
Brother!
Hey!
Just kind of
rushing after?
Yeah.
Yeah,
so you see,
like,
you sort of
rush,
shouting brother,
Byzantine
and Lyphos,
you continue
to sort of
follow up
after the
fact.
as Bethael
runs into
the vessel
and you
see this,
suddenly the
skyline changes
and it's
not just a
shift in
what's going
on,
it's the
sound of
munitions
fire in
the atmosphere
as what
can only
be described
as a
tide of
cobalt
blue begins
to descend.
All these
fucking guys.
And you see
vessels of
hundreds of
vessels in
that same
cobalt
blue
and the
pompous
U-shaped
symbol
that adorns
all of
their hulls.
Ah!
Are you sure
we cannot
stay
to bring
them all
low?
If we
could,
we would.
Ah!
Is the
time
for
discretion
to be
the better
part of
valor?
Ah!
fine,
fine,
fine.
I don't
expect you
to thank
me for
keeping
you
alive,
but I
am
keeping
you
alive.
You're
right.
I won't
thank you.
I know
I'm
right.
The first
vessel
explodes.
It's a
macro
troop
carrier
hit by
several
missiles
from
Ziphon
interceptors
fired from
the
ultramarines
legion.
You see
a transport
that once
carried tens
of thousands
of soldiers
crash back
down to
the surface
in a
nuclear
explosion
that lights
up everything.
That's good,
right?
We must
ascend.
No!
Livos,
as you push
forward,
a figure
emerges from
the back
of the
vessel,
a robed
figure
in black
and gold,
a priest
of the
true
mechanicum,
necadendrites
that also
have,
like,
globules
of flesh
reaching up
them,
kind of
click in
the air
around you.
Greetings.
I grab it
by the neck.
Greetings.
You grab it.
Hold on.
You are
not with
the
Eighth
Regent.
Are
any of you
trained in
piloting?
I was hoping
you'd be...
As I begin
to lift him up
and kind of
stare at him,
like,
do you know
how to operate
this aircraft?
I do.
I am
Priest
Etilfar,
Scourge,
and I
can remove
us from
this place
if you would
so kindly
place me
down.
Remove
the poor
Mechanicum
from your
death grip.
He is
as true
a servant
of the
Dark Gods
as us,
and he
will serve
us well
or die.
You never
know
in the
field of
battle
who goes
to who.
He kind
of plays,
he kind of,
like,
just tosses
him over
to the
pilot's
seat
and goes,
get a
move on.
Go to
these
opponents.
And he
begins to
strap in
or so.
There are
few vessels
in the
sphere.
We will
need to
find a
vessel capable
of carrying
us if we
are to
flee.
What?
Is the
pride of
the emperor
still in
orbit?
I cannot,
I cannot
see.
The
conqueror
has
departed
the
vengeful
spirit
is
departing.
The
pride of
the emperor
is not
visible.
The
terminus
est
and
the
endurance
are not
visible.
There are
so many
signals from
the 13th.
So many.
Overload,
overload,
overload,
overload.
No guts!
It does not
matter what
ship we end
up on as
long as
the fight
continues.
Find one!
Compliance,
compliance,
compliance.
The
8th
legion
will not
be
returning
for this
vessel.
It is
only
logical
for us
to
escape
now.
Please
strap
yourselves
in.
I
shall
do
what
I
can.
It is
a
legion
vessel.
I
am
not
I
can
fly
this.
Yes,
of course,
safety
first.
I put
on my
seatbelt.
Yeah,
I put
an ice
strap
in.
Obviously.
I click
it before
I get
a ticket.
You
know.
True.
Who's
going to give
us a ticket?
I don't
Hey,
Byzantie.
Hey,
Byzantie.
Oh,
no.
Hey,
Byzantie.
Yes,
beloved
game master.
I love
that you
called me
beloved
game master.
That's so
cool.
I will
allow you
to give
me a
easy
acrobatics
or athletics
check.
Oh,
good.
It's
plus
30.
I'm being
very generous
here.
Plus
30.
I got
a 90.
OK,
that's a
two.
Oh,
I'm so
bad at
resisting
the revelation
of War
Master Wars.
I'm so
good at
sitting in
a car
without my
seatbelt
on.
No,
you're not.
No,
you're not
with a
two.
You know
what you
do?
As this
fire
raptor
takes off,
it hasn't
closed the
back hatch.
You walk
to the
back hatch
and watch
the scene
of total
carnage
and reversal
playing
before you
like a
tabletop
war game
as you
ascend
further,
seeing the
the cobalt
blue figures
descend down
to the
surface,
seeing all
of the
players on
what you
know will
be the
greatest
stage in
history,
uh,
go through
their final
act as
the fire
raptor
continues to
ascend.
damn,
there's like
30,000
warhammers
down there.
10,000
more on
the way.
Yes,
10,000
coming from
the sky.
Well,
vein blades
from
Korova.
Well,
I have a
good,
I have a
good news
for everybody.
Oh,
good.
We are
going to
go 10,000
warhammers
away from
now.
Oh,
Hulkie's
character has
to be
born as
we skip
ahead.
Hey,
Hulky
Crow.
Hi,
Thurston.
How you
doing?
Oh,
you know,
I'm just,
I'm just
happy to be
here.
Another day
in this
god emperor's
army.
I'm going to
read what's
on the screen
for our
audio listeners.
We love you
audio listeners.
Of course,
of course.
Do not ask
how you may
give your
life for the
emperor.
Ask instead
how you may
give your
death.
Attributed
to war
master Slido
circa
Millennium
41.
There's a
hand in
front of
you,
Evgeny.
Inside the
bunker,
you and
your fellow
troops
huddled
together.
There is a
hand that
clenched into
a fist.
And that
hand
clutches.
That hand
clutches
onto
several
straws.
The hand
is shaking.
You and
your unit
have been
positioned
the far
end of
this world.
The woman
who holds
the straws
is trooper
Lena Drask.
She keeps
a bottle of
Amasek under
her bed.
It's not
regulation,
but she
keeps it
there.
You're so
far out,
nobody really
knows.
You know,
no one really
cares.
Some people
have debated
telling the
lieutenant about
it, but
the lieutenant
is dead
now.
In fact,
all of the
commanding
officers are
dead now.
It's just
you and
the five
others in
this bunker.
There used
to be 20
of you in
this bunker.
First five
went out,
then ten
more,
trying to
stop what's
coming.
They didn't
stop what's
coming.
The others
surrounding
you, the
six total
with the
five others.
There's
Torv
Keldrick.
He's a
really bad
cards player.
Even
Quill.
He's somewhat
made fun of
for the fact
that even
with a
scope,
he's yet
to hit
anything
with his
last gun.
Silas
Vorne
doesn't have
any grenades
on him
anymore.
We all
know why.
And
Brom
Terrick.
Brom
Terrick
smells the
worst out
of everyone
in this
bunker.
I think
you think
at least
everyone
wants
Brom
Terrick
to be
the
one,
at least
one of
the three
to draw
the
short
straw.
Okay.
You hear
Drask say
again,
her hands
still shaking.
We all
know some
of us
have to
go out.
Some
of us
have to
go back
out into
that.
So we'll
do it.
We'll draw
straws.
There's no
one to
order us.
So we're
going to
do straws.
Isn't that
right,
Evgeny?
Yeah,
yeah,
it's only
fair.
Okay.
Okay.
Evgeny,
I have a
question for you.
Of course,
of course.
Have you
done anything
to alter
the straw
drying?
Is that
something you've
considered to
ensure that
your name
is,
well,
you are not
stuck with
one of the
short straws?
No.
Evgeny is
a man of
honor.
He would
never do
such a thing
like that.
Of course,
that would
make him
dishonorable
in the eyes
of his
peers and,
of course,
the emperor.
Why would
he ever do
that?
That's not
what a
soldier does.
Okay.
Okay.
Okay.
Will you
look up?
He knows
what's out
there.
He's just
hoping that
his faith
will save
him from
drawing that
short straw.
Okay.
Will you
give me an
awareness plus
20 check,
please?
Absolutely.
I realized
F10 hides
the overlay,
which I've
never encountered
before.
That's a
remnant of
a mod,
so I don't
know why
you have
anything on
F10.
That's my
Discord mute
button.
What the
fuck?
I never
use F10
otherwise.
Hey,
guys,
we're breaking
this scene
now.
Let's all
turn.
This is the
point where
everyone's
chair turns
to Hulky,
as our
characters are
doing,
and we're
like,
F10,
really,
bruh?
Really?
Yeah.
I'm kind of
fucked up.
I'm sorry.
All the buttons.
It's pretty
fucked up.
Can all of the
Space Marine
characters talk
so you can be
looking at his
character,
judging him?
Yeah,
but I don't
think I'm wrong
with the
F10.
I don't
know.
This is just
the turning
day all over
again.
True.
Under two.
Thurston,
what was the
difficulty of the
test again?
Plus 20.
Plus 20?
Absolutely.
Yep.
So that would
be a routine.
I got a 28
with a target
of 50.
That's five
degrees of
success.
Eamon Quill
has tried to
cheat.
You've seen
him.
You saw
that as
Alina was
shaking her
hands,
he managed
to reach
under and
pinch off
a bottom
part of the
straw that
was still
emerging from
her hand
and quickly
pocketed it.
Evgeny looks
over at
Eamon.
Now,
soldier,
I don't
think you
can honestly
put that
past the
emperor,
could you?
And certainly
not past me.
Alina's hand
continues to
shake.
Brom,
the smelly
one,
goes,
what are
you talking
about?
Eamon did
something?
He's a bit
big.
He's a bit
slow.
Well,
Brom,
as we all
know,
if we have
faith in
the god
emperor,
he will
protect us.
And fate
determine who
is brave
enough to
go out
there and
defend his
works.
But it
seems that
some among
us are
lacking in
faith.
I'm very
faithful.
Yes,
yes,
Brom,
you are.
And he
sees that
and he
knows.
But Eamon,
appears your
faith is
wavered.
And Evgeny
will draw
his best
quality
blast pistol
and brandish
it.
Okay.
I think
the emperor
everyone kind
of gasp,
like even
even Alina's
hands come
back a bit
at that.
The emperor
will divine
who among
us will go
out there to
serve today.
But you
Eamon will
be among
them.
I'm not
going out
there.
Whatever,
whatever came
down from
the sky.
No,
no,
kill us
all.
We have to
stay in
here.
It's
safe in
here.
None of
us have
to go
out.
We can
all just
stay in
here.
We can't
all stay
in here.
There's
not enough
food.
Someone has
to go out
there and
see what's
going on.
Maybe it
wasn't going
to be you.
But it
is now.
No,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no,
no.
You can't
make me
go.
You can't
make me
get back
there.
You're
so happy.
The sergeant,
lieutenant,
they're all
gone.
They're all
gone.
They said
to wait
here.
They said
to wait
here.
They'll be
back.
They'll be
back.
Maybe we
could all
stay here
and be
friends,
Braum
says.
I just
know I
don't have
any grenades.
I can't
throw my
grenades.
Without
grenades,
I don't
know what
I can
do.
Silas is
like
twitching.
Torv
Keldrick
is silent.
I would
be a
dishonest
man if I
told you I
did not
share your
fear.
I know
what's out
there.
You all
know what's
out there.
Yeah.
No one's
coming.
No one's
coming to
help us.
But someone
has to do
something better
to die
knowing that
one of
us might
live.
I suppose
you.
No, I
won't let
you.
And you
see as
you say
that,
Eamon is
trying to
draw a
knife.
If
Gany
will see
this,
he'll
wheel up
with his
last pistol
drawn and
attempt to
shoot him.
Okay.
So for
this, here's
what I'm
going to do.
I'm just
going to
actually put
a fake
token down
here.
I wasn't
expecting it
to play it
this way,
but this
is fine.
I like
this.
You can
target the
token I've
just put at
the bottom,
the fake
token there.
And give
me a last
pistol shot.
It's going
to be at
point-blank
range.
Absolutely.
Let me
take that
shot.
That is a
success with
three degrees
of success.
Perfect.
Ooh,
minimal
damage.
Three.
Yes.
So,
you manage
to hit
him like
slightly in
the shoulder
as he's
well,
actually,
the left
shoulder as
he comes
and you
can tell
that his
his armor,
his fine
imperial armor
has deflected
much of
that.
He definitely
takes the
opportunity and
in retort is
getting ready to
stab you.
I am going
to have
us roll
initiative for
both combatants.
The others seem
to be backing
off from this.
I will roll
my agility.
Please roll
yours,
you're getting.
I will roll
it.
See,
everyone listening,
what I want to
do is show
what it's like
when space
marines fight
and then when
it's like when
infants fight
because that's
what this is
going to be.
It's like
watching children
battle each other.
is like a slap
bite.
No,
baby bites.
Remember to
use the initiative
role in the
encounter thing.
Hulky.
Gotcha,
gotcha.
Should just be
the dice by
your character.
Yeah,
perfect.
Oh,
yeah,
so you actually
before you get
close,
you can fire
again.
Instead of firing
because of
getting is close
enough,
he's going to
take the opportunity
to draw his
chain sword
and attack him.
Yeah,
absolutely.
And well,
I'm not going
to aim it.
Let's try this.
Woo.
That is a 20
on the die.
To the head.
All right.
Total of 13
damage,
10,
six.
You do
10 points
of damage
tearing
into the head.
You can tell
that you've
basically started
like there's
this blood
gush that's
coming down.
Somehow he
is still up.
You are just
shy of critical
damage,
taking away
all of this
guy's stamina
as even tries
desperately in
response to
stab at you.
I don't know
why it auto
killed him.
It shouldn't
have auto
killed.
He attempts
to stab at you
with a knife.
You see him
lashing out as
your chainsword
has grazed
his head.
He will
successfully
hit you,
this time
sort of
raising the
knife and
sticking it
into your
left leg,
Evgeny.
Everyone again
is just
backed off
and you hear
gasps and
whatnot.
Can I
attempt to
evade?
You can
actually,
yes.
Let's find
out.
Am I fast?
You are
not.
No.
The hit
connects,
but it only
does one
point of
damage to
you.
As it
kind of
grazes you,
you can tell
it's not a
very strong
or penetrating
weapon.
He's put a lot
of force
behind it.
It is your
go again.
You could
have just
gone outside,
Eamon.
You could
have just
taken one
for the
team,
couldn't
you?
Not
going
there.
Not
going
there.
There are
monsters out
there.
There's
monsters in
here too,
Eamon,
and I'm
one of
them.
You either
die out
here or
you die
in there.
Braum
starts crying.
Why can't
we all be
friends?
I just
want you
to be
friends.
Alina is
like still
on the
battlefield,
Braum.
we're
just
meat
waiting to
be
processed.
You
and I
and Eamon
and everybody
else out
here are
waiting to
die.
Oh,
that's a
big old
fail.
That's a
big old
fail.
You like
in your
speech,
you just
go wild
with the
chainsaw
like slashing
out and
and you
see that
that Eamon
is is
just like
similarly
losing it.
He raises
up.
You can
see that he
is taking
the blade
and he's
all out
attacking,
just slashing
with no
care for
defense at
this point
at you
in response.
He will
manage to
strike you,
succeeding to
hit you with
his knife.
You can
attempt to
evade this.
I'm
certainly
going to
attempt to
evade.
Shall we
roll better
this time?
Oh,
yes.
Yeah,
you step
back as
he's
slashing
repeatedly.
No damage
taken at
all,
leaving him
very open.
He won't
be able to
evade or
parry or
do anything
to your
next attack.
Again,
Braum is
intensely
crying.
You see
Torv
Keldrick
has sort
of like
quietly
got up
and started
to move
towards the
bunker
entrance.
Alina's
hand is
free hand
is now
trying to
move
underneath
her nearby
cot to
pull out
the
Amasek.
We could
have all
been fine
even.
We could
have been
okay.
We might
have lasted
a little bit
longer.
You wouldn't
have forced
your brother
to kill
you.
Your cowardice
will stay
your feet.
I'm going to
attack him.
That's going
to hit.
Oh,
no,
that's not.
That's not
going to hit.
It's not
going to hit.
But yeah,
like this
is this is
again,
this is what
happens when
children fight
Eamon retorts
again,
sort of
swinging,
shouting
intently.
I'm
okay.
We're all
going to be
happy in
here.
And he
starts knifing
you brutally
again,
all out
attacking as
well.
Oh,
that is
going to hit
you in
the body.
You can
you cannot
evade because
you all
have attacked.
so he
is stabbing
you in
the chest.
Oh,
for for
almost minimum
damage,
applying that
you take no
damage from
this.
It bounces
off your
flak armor
as he hits
you with
the knife.
Do you hear
me now?
Do you hear
me,
Emperor?
Why would
you do this?
Why would
you do
this to
us?
Braum
continues to
sob.
Torv is
starting to
like fidget
with the
door mechanism
opening it.
Silas has
gone over
to a box
nearby and
Alina's
drinking the
Amasek.
Evgeny's
going to
make one
more all
out attack
and that's
going to
succeed with
a 23
with five
points of
success.
Absolutely.
You're going
to go right
to the
chest.
Four,
seven damage
with pen
10.
That's
right.
Okay,
so you
are you
are doing
critical
damage as
you tear
through.
You slice
a muscle
in him,
so he's
going to
take a
minus 20
on any
strength
test as
you tear
through
some of
the meat
in his
chest.
Blood
is now
flying
out
everywhere.
Braum
is like
slumping
to his
knees.
Large
smelly
man is
just
completely
distraught
over what
he is
seeing
here as
your weapon
has gone
in.
This is
actually,
what is this,
a rending
weapon?
It is a
running
weapon.
Yeah,
let's see
here.
So,
oh,
actually,
never mind.
No,
no,
no.
So,
um,
this bonus
final damage
for,
uh,
critical
damage
for.
So,
actually,
this table
is a bit
incorrect,
but we'll
use the
correct one.
It's just
double-checking.
Uh,
the blow
actually opens
a wound
in his
torso.
Um,
as that
happens,
you can
see that
he's now
suffering from
blood loss
and is
stunned.
So,
you're
going to
get an
extra
action
before he
goes.
As you
torn open
his chest,
he's
stunned.
Uh,
before you
do go,
I have to
make a
test.
Remember,
blood loss
means he
has a
10%
chance
so he's
still
standing,
but you
get to
take another
action to
finish him
off,
should you
wish.
If you
can hit
him.
He can't
evade or
anything.
That's
true.
He can't
evade.
And he's
still committed
to this.
He's not
backing down.
Oh,
no,
no.
With a
wound like
this,
he's more
just in
shock at
this point.
But you
understand that
it's probably
given the
blood loss
and you
don't have
a Medicaid
because your
Medicaid was
in the
last group
to go
out.
There's
no way
to fix
this.
There is
no way
to fix
it,
unfortunately.
But I
think they
both knew
once he was
called out,
there was
only one
way this
could end.
And Evgeny
will take
an aimed
shot at
his head
with his
last pistol
and try and
deliver the
Emperor's
mercy.
I'll give
you a plus
20 bonus
to this as
well,
just because
he's very
out of it
shocked.
He's kind
of now
submitted
a bit.
Let's
see.
It's
going to
do it.
31 with
five degrees
of success
and one
hit.
Okay,
so please
roll damage.
So I'm
going to
apply this
damage here.
Give me
one sec.
I'm giving
you a second.
Let's do
this.
Okay,
so interesting.
Why does
this attack
not?
Did you
hit with
your last
pistol?
Yeah,
not that
as good.
Yes.
Okay,
so you
were you
were hitting
with the
pistol.
Okay,
so that
is going
to go to
the head
one sec.
This is
going to be
energy to
the head.
I'm actually
going to bypass
the armor.
So this
is going
to go up
a little
bit here.
Let me
check because
you're basically
just going to
head tap.
Yeah,
so you put
your last
pistol up
against the
head.
We're going
to use
these famous
crit tables
in this
game,
which are
amazing.
Yeah,
the target's
head is
destroyed in a
convocation of
fiery death.
He does not
survive.
He falls
down.
Braum is
now just
just a
blabbering
mess.
Alina is
drinking heavily
from the
Amusek.
She's dropped
the straws.
Torv Keldrick
is now in the
process of
closing the
door,
having just
gone outside
on his
own.
And Silas
Vorne is
still going
through
everyone's
like junk
box in the
room,
like tearing
through everyone's
personal effects.
Why do
I?
Why?
And Evgeniel
just looked
down at his
hands,
trembling,
the fire
searing some
of his
flesh,
but still
spattered in
gore.
Why didn't
you save
us?
And he'll
fall to his
knees.
Braum is
just
Alina like
sloshing back
the Amusek.
Silas is
like,
where is it?
Where is it?
There's gotta be
one.
There's gotta be
one in one of
these cases.
We just need
one grenade.
That's all we
need.
Why would
you send?
Why would
you let us
serve?
What if you
was holy
autos?
We were
supposed to
be heroes.
We were
supposed to
take care of
these people.
I was supposed
to take care of
all things.
Why would
you let
him leave
us here?
Evgeny?
Evgeny?
Evgeny?
Braum is
like,
got like,
snot and
everything just
coming down
his face.
His like,
again,
the odor
is just
overpowered
only by the
iron of
the blood
that is
pulling on
the floor
from the
chest wound
you did
prior to
the execution
shot.
That sort
of iron
and now
that like
cooked flesh
smell in
the air
overpowering
the body
odor.
But this
large man,
Evgeny,
he looks at
you pleadingly.
Does the
emperor not
love us
anymore?
No,
not us.
Not us,
Braum.
But he still
loves you.
What do we
do?
He still
loves you,
buddy.
He loves me.
Of course,
he always
loved you.
He always
loved you,
Braum.
Here,
look at this
picture.
You remember.
You remember
your unit,
don't you?
You remember
them?
Yeah,
before that
thing came
out of the
sky.
Before it
all went
bad.
Remember
the pilgrims?
Remember
the pilgrims?
We were so
good.
The pilgrims
came up
from here
to the
city.
It was
good times.
Good times.
Look over
there.
Sit in the
corner.
I can't
find a
grenade.
There's no
grenades in any
of these
boxes.
We use
them up.
We use
them up.
There's
got to be
one in
here.
We need
it.
We need
it.
We need
it.
And again,
you'll look
over to
Braum.
Best think
about those
happier times.
The emperor
still surely
loves you,
buddy.
It's okay.
Just think
about that.
Don't think
about any
of that out
there.
Of course.
Of course.
Of course.
You're like,
you're looking
over at
Braum,
and you hear
the thud
of the
Amasek
bottle.
In fact,
it's glass.
It's a glass
container,
so you hear
actually a
shatter as
it hits
the ground.
Some of
the shards
trickling off
over the
floor,
and some
of the
liquid even
splashing up,
mingling with
the blood
that's pooling,
and that's
what catches
your eye.
Because what
you see as
you look over
to the
broken Amasek
bottle is
the blood
pooling out
from Eamon's
corpse is
actually recoiling
back into
it.
Hey,
Hulky.
Yes,
Thurston?
Would you
like to
give me
a willpower
test at
minus 20?
Oh.
Illness for
everybody.
Sorry,
sorry,
sorry,
sorry,
sorry.
Yeah,
minus 20.
Yeah,
yeah.
That's the
one.
Yeah.
Oh,
yeah.
Actually,
the best part
is that
Hulky can't
get a proper
disorder.
Lol?
Yeah.
He is the
Emperor's
favorite.
Because there's
only disorders
for like the
specific followers.
Oh,
that's good.
Yeah.
Difficulty minus
20.
Yeah,
absolutely.
All right.
I'll do that.
Oh,
never mind.
I choose on the
table.
Never mind.
Excellent.
Don't worry.
Oh,
six degrees of
failure.
Hey,
Hulky,
my brother,
would you like to
roll me a
D100 plus
60?
Yeah,
of course.
This is by the
way,
by the way,
I would like to
point out that
you had six
degrees of
failure,
which was
like similar
to Zoran's
and Zoran
suffered the
death of the
War Master
and you were
just seeing some
blood pool back
in.
Way to go,
bruh.
Yeah.
Let's see if
this would also
make your
character lame.
He is
experiencing the
horror of being
an everyday
Imperial.
He's experiencing
the joy of
getting to break
free of the
yoke of
carry on
Thurston.
105 is the
result.
Okay.
Give me a
regular willpower
just like
challenging.
So plus
nothing will
power test.
Sure.
Oh,
that's
Oh,
my God.
Okay.
Podcast
sister,
see the rules.
That's a
94.
Yeah,
four.
Okay.
So,
so,
God,
you're going to
get a disorder
from this,
too.
We're all
going to be
traumatized.
first of all,
on the shock
check from what
you've seen,
you immediately
faint.
Like you see
this blood
recoiling,
you turn,
you can't
process it,
everything has
got to collapse.
Like you,
you just have
that moment
where your body
seizes up and
like the camera's
following your
face and it
goes sort of
like angles with
you as you fall
onto the ground
and it's still
like looking at
your wide-eyed
face and you
hear like ringing
and sound.
I'm going to,
we're going to
come back to
this.
We're going to,
we're going to,
we're going to
figure out
something after
this.
So you are,
you,
you are,
you,
you basically
fall unconscious.
I'm going to
say that for,
for this,
you're essentially
like immobile
and there's
like this ringing
sound for the
next 20 seconds.
So you spend
20 seconds
on the ground.
Um,
and when you
come to,
something has
emerged out
of the remains
of the body
of Guardsman
Eamon Quill.
Um,
it,
it,
it is this
mewling,
pitiful,
minor
wretch
of a creature
that is like
an amalgamation
of
flesh
and like
sickly
purpled
flesh
and like
small mouths
and tentacles.
It's maybe
the size
of a dog,
like a small
dog.
And it
has emerged
and the others
in the room
have had very
similar reactions
to everything.
As you
come to
and you see
this new threat,
I'm going to
ask you
to make me
one
more
check.
Uh,
another willpower
check.
Um,
because,
you know,
now this is
nowhere near,
in fact,
I'm going to let
you give me a
willpower test
at plus 10.
This is just
disturbing.
Like the blood
sicking,
like sucking
back into the
corpse is
actually not as
disturbing is
this mewling
pitiful creature,
but this mewling
pitiful creature
is still
otherworldly.
Please give me
that willpower
test.
Sure.
Oh,
here I was
thinking you
were going to
give me a
hellish test.
Don't tempt
it.
But who gives
a fuck?
Because it's
an 89.
I love this game
so much.
This game
is my favorite.
Um,
will you roll
me a D100?
Do you want
to announce
your roll,
Hulky?
Oh,
yeah.
89.
Am I,
am I
disconnected?
Target was
50.
I'm sorry.
Yes,
my target
was 50.
Yeah,
it's supposed
to be a
podcast lizard
because if
you say
89,
we don't
know what
you're
aiming for.
So it's
like 89,
I needed
a 50.
Apologies.
So you have
40 degrees,
or four degrees
of failure.
So roll me
a D100 plus
40,
buddy.
Of course.
This is fun.
It's fun.
That's only
70.
Okay.
You are
frozen
in terror.
which let's
see here.
So you
will have
to snap
out of it.
So essentially
you have to
make a
challenging
willpower
test to
snap out
of this
on your
turn.
So you're
just like at
the beginning
of each of
your turns,
you're going
to have to
snap out
of it with
that test.
Okay.
Gotcha.
Which is
which is
really good
because so
you're on
your side,
you've
regained
consciousness,
you've
looked over,
you've
seen this
mewling
creature,
and this
mewling
creature
begins to
like kind
of like
slump,
like I
don't know,
advance,
but like with
this suctiony
slurping and
you hear this
gasping sound
as it's
trying to
make words
and it
moves towards
Silas,
whose back
is turned
to it.
He has not
seen any of
the blood
or anything
else.
Braum is
like just
like stopped
even crying
and is just
rocking back
and forth
and you
can see
that Drask
is standing
there just
like motionless
but upright.
This thing
goes behind
it goes
behind
your
your fellow
Silas
and I'm
just gonna
do a little
thing here
and its
mouth opens
to unleash
a stream
of
coruscating
fire.
It smashes
into Silas's
back.
This
this this
like
coruscating
flame
striking him
in his left
leg.
It's so
small it's
hard for it
to even get
up and
it hits
Silas in
the left
leg and
you you
again are
sort of like
just watching
this from
your catatonic
state and
you see that
as this
creature
belches
out its
flames onto
the left
leg of
your
companion
uh your
fellow member
here who was
doing their
best to find
that grenade.
you see
that their
armor and
flesh are
fused
together
um and
the they
are not
they fall
to the
ground
screaming
as this
horrific burn
damage occurs.
i am going
to put
you into
the into
the map
here again
you've
getting and
i'm going
to very
quickly just
for purposes
of this
uh i'm
going to have
you and
this creature
square off
against each
other.
if you'll uh
once again
roll me uh
initiative
please.
sure.
oh that's
a 10 on
the die.
okay um so
technically this
thing would
have would
have gone so
it's already
gone so you
can now go uh
you can make
me a willpower
test to um to
try to break
out of this
shock that you're
in.
yeah my target's
40 so let's
see if you roll
below a 40.
nope that's uh
51 at two
degrees of failure.
you you are
still like
transfixed on
the floor um
and by the way
i just want to
point out i love
the cinematic
nature of this
that you are
just like paralyzed
with fear as
this thing is
slowly chomping
on someone uh
you see now
that uh silas
has fallen to
the floor this
thing is like
slurped closer
to it and again
it's just the
size of a small
dog but now
that it's hit
him in the leg
appropriately it
gets close and
raises up a
claw like this
horrific talon
that seems to
come out of
its gray
flesh fusing
into a crab
like appendage
that tries to
stab directly
at him
and is just
going to
to go right
into him
and we'll see
what happens
um it fails
um luckily
it fails
silas is able
like while
screaming sort
of backs out
uh but this
thing is like
slurping further
towards
evgeny you get
to go
evgeny's just
on the floor
still just like
jaw agate
quivering just
all he can
manage just
little soft
like moans
of fear
like
i'm gonna try
another willpower
test can we
roll
fuck me
you're still
trapped you're
still transfixed
watching this
he can't do
anything he is
just gone he's
witnessed the
death of sanity
and the
abandonment of
his god
brahm collapses
onto the ground
his heart gives
out he dies
oh my god
he rolled a
hundred on a
toughness test
uh he was so
overcome with
fear in the
moment that
rather than
fall catatonic
he just died
fuck
holy shit
this game rocks
dude i fucking
love
like they say
alina drask
on the other
hand has like
entered panic
mode she runs
to the door
and she is now
trying to open
the door
um evgeny
you are you
are seeing this
the creature
um seems still
focused on silas
who's like
screaming he's
trying to like
fidget for his
weaponry he
can't do it
um this is the
first time he's
seeing this thing
he has to make
a willpower test
god
just this little
he completely
fails with
nine degrees
of failure
oh my god
hello
this little
gibbering mass
is just the
sheer presence
of this is
more terrifying
than a greater
demon
he falls
unconscious for
the next four
combat rounds
oh my god
and you
are forced to
watch as
this this
little creature
once again
raises back
its claw
and goes
to penetrate
given he's
unconscious
he's gonna
make a
called
shot
but he's
gonna get
a pop
versus hydrogen
baby
that same
thumbnail
but the overlay
of a second
thumbnail that
says it's
time to
correct the
record
he is
he's going
to roll a
six for
five degrees
of success
as this
crab-like
appendage
pierces
through
silas's
head
damage
it's not
great damage
it's not
great damage
um that
is not the
case that
should actually
be too
damage
i'll do
that
uh but
you can
see that
he has
like started
to pierce
through the
skull a bit
um it's
your go you
can you can
make another
willpower test
for me
absolutely
as i'm
watching my
friend get a
chaos lobotomy
huh let's
see if we'd
succeed
no you're
still watching
alita drask
is like
struggling she
can only take
half actions to
escape she's
managing to
open the
door much
like torv did
to get out
before um
the tiny
whelpling
creature tries
again um
this time with
another stab
uh it's given
up going for
the head and
instead is just
like all out
stabbing
um
it's it's
failing to
hit in its
frustration you
hear this
whimper
as like you
hear the
thunking as
it's trying to
hit this
unconscious
target you
can give me
another willpower
test hulky
yay you managed
to regain
you managed to
regain your
composure um
you could act
normally now
remember you are
on the floor
you've dropped
all of your
equipment
he's gonna
scrabble
barely
across the
floor to his
last gun
uh-huh
he's gonna
try and get
it
okay
he's gonna
set it
to overcharge
and he's gonna
try and shoot
the little
chaos spot
you can you
can you
can target
the little
the little
creature
yeah
let me just
target the
big the big
creature right
there
i don't think
that's very
little
i'm gonna
shoot it
in short
range
you're just
gonna try
and hit him
period
oh well
oh the
shot goes
that's 84
two degrees
of failure
you're so
close you
try you
try but
like in
your fear
the shot
just goes
completely
wide
it seems
to not
quite
notice
the um
the blast
you have
unleashed
um but
it does
it does
decide
that
it needs
to do
something
about the
situation
so
as you
have
as you
have now
fired
uh
into it
it sees
it sees
the blast
i should
say
and it
does kind
of take
a bit
of a
moment
to to
recognize
it
and then
what it
does
is it
like
continue to
face
silas
um
it once
again opens
his mouth
and blurts
out a volley
of just
horrific
um warp
energies
into it
you can see
the um
the like
the the
coruscating
colors
is it
blasts
out this
flame
onto it
or onto
him
oh
um
this doesn't
include the
other bonus
it should
have which
it will
hit with
so i
will just
adjust this
but it's
going to
hit uh
i will
roll
damage
one sec
here
actually i'm
just you
know what
i'm just
gonna reroll
this because
it should
have a
higher
thing in
here
it's
like
my
bad
okay
of course
i rule
enough to
be worse
okay i'll
just say
it misc is
the thing
it's being
annoying um
is it's like
flaming onto
it um
evgeny uh
you see this
what are you
doing uh at
this point
drask has now
opened the
door
uh evgeny is
still going to
try and shoot
this creature
from his pitiful
position on the
ground
we're trying
again
we're gonna
we're gonna
fucking try
again
would you
like
i would
love to
aim this
time now
that i'm
no longer
paralyzed with
fear for
five turns
i'm gonna
half action
aim and use
the other
half well
power is
important
oh yeah
i'm gonna
shoot it
oh we're
gonna try
there we
go
34 for
six degrees
of success
weird little
body yep
and that
should confer
because it's
overcharged
an additional
two dice
if i'm not
mistaken
we're gonna
roll the
first one
at pen
two
eight damage
penning
i'm gonna
roll two
more d10s
yeah
that's gonna
be a
two and a
five plus
three so
that's gonna
be a ten
and sorry
i can't do
math
that's gonna
be an eight
and a five
penning
two
okay
um so
we'll add
eight to
what you
get
here
uh we'll
apply it
onto this
little creature
one sec
we got a
gripping onto
his lasgun
as if his
life depends
on it's the
only thing
he has
which in
this moment
ostensibly
watching
you see it
like grab
crack somebody
open back
flicker in
and out
of existence
it like
hisses in
this sibilant
voice
must feed
must
grow
so
we
now
um
and it
tries
desperately
desperately
to strike
at silas
once more
with the
the warp
flames that
it possesses
attempting
just a
just a
flat out
shot
at point
blank
belching
more flames
oh
hitting
but barely
and
scorching
oh
not
not a lot
um
but you know
it might
it might do
something
uh
no it
doesn't
um
it
does
pierce
but only
slightly
you can see
silas's chest
plate is
cooking
um
and this
thing is
trying
it's
breathing
mass
what are
you doing
you're getting
alina has
run off now
left the
door open
to the
of course
uh
well
if any
is the
only one
who can
do anything
about this
at this
point
is gonna
try and
shoot
a third
time
yeah
same thing
is going
to aim
as well
at half
action
overcharging
stop
stop
for
for 7
degrees
of success
it won't
go only
up to a
maximum
of additional
we'll try
and do
again
no roll
damage
another 2
going at
that
so it'll
be
same as
before
damage
pending
gonna roll
another
that's
gonna be
a 5
and a
can you
explain what
the other
2 are
for for
our
listeners
so with
las
weaponry
they have
variable
modes
of firing
which
typically
have
different
drawbacks
you can
either
fire for
additional
penetration
and
ammo
cost
or you
could
overcharge
at risk
of
making
the
weapon
unreliable
but
potentially
for every
2 degrees
of success
gain
an additional
damage dice
on a hit
only if it
hits
however
because this
gun is best
quality
it never
really
loses
reliable
so i can
overcharge
at no
penalty
yeah
with the
exception of
i'm spending
ammo
yeah
it'll still
consume
more ammo
but it's
never gonna
be at a
real risk
to me
sweet
okay
so we'll add
5 to this
let's
let's see
what happens
to it
okay
so it
is going
to take
um
2 critical
damage
it's actually
gonna go up
to 7
because of
the 5
extra
though from
that
2d
uh
so let
me
check
as you
hit it
in the
body
it's sort
of like
gibbering
mass
body
here
hit
in the
in the
body
for a
uh
the intense
heat cooks
the target's
organs
and it's
stunned
and suffers
permanent
toughness
damage
however
this thing
is immune
to being
stunned
so it's
just gonna
take some
toughness
penalty
which could
matter
um
as you
as you
strike it
and it
takes it
you could
tell that
it is like
barely
corporeal
now
it's
phasing
in and
out
and you
just
hear
this
um
but in
its
in its
moment
it once
again
turns
and
um
opens
its
its
vast
maw
uh
and
tries to
belch
more flames
onto the
body
in front
of it
at this
moment
you can
also see
that
silas
seems
to be
stirring
oh
but with
a one
that's
gonna be
a great
success
so he's
gonna
he's gonna
hit
poor
silas
with this
with this
like
coruscating
multicolored
flame
so silas
is going
to take
to the
head
um
you watch
as the
attack
cooks silas's
face melting
his features
and his
eyes
you see
that like
his face
is literally
melting
before you
he's
screaming
in his
death throes
now awoken
from whatever
thing it
incapacitated
him only
to this
um
with silas's
clearly in
his last
throes
this this
mewling
creature
seems to
regain some
animacy
and turns
towards you
but one of
its eyes
grows massive
and bulbous
and you
just you
just see
almost shock
in its
appearance
as it
points
one of
its
cloth
it's
your go
Evgeny
what do
you do
Evgeny's
gonna watch
his squad's
mates
face melt
and die
in extreme
agony
forever
uh-huh
he's gonna
keep shooting
but he's
not gonna
do so
quietly
throat
please
why
why won't
you die
throat
make it
fucking
stop
try it
again
ooh
with 8
degrees
of success
that's
gonna hit
hot
fucking
dog
we keep
going
more ammo
spent
and
damn
body
all right
so this
this blast
smashes into
its body
uh
it is encasted
fire as your
as your last
you can see all
of the eyes
on it pop
like the
multiple eyes
even the teeth
sort of
chatter out
of it
like eggs
as it
falls to
the ground
however
the blast
causes it
to have
whatever
warp
impact
is in
it
to
potentially
detonate
does not
detonate
um
instead
it just
kind of
like
it's one
little
arm
like
claw
reaching out
to you
as its
eyes
pop
like
eggs
grasping
no
not
like
that
and it
compresses
into
an
existence
Evgeny
you are
now
alone
with
two
corpses
in the
room
three
actually
because of
the original
what are you
doing
hmm
thurston
yep
i say this
not out of
a comedy
goblin
alpha views
a bit
uh-huh
but can i
make a
willpower
test to
continue
going on
yeah just
like kind
of oh
so actually
a funny
story now
we're going
to come
back to
the thing
i would
say that
would
happen
so so
no you
don't
have
to but
don't
worry
something
bad
is
going
to
happen
i'm
gonna
pull
in
the
i'm
gonna
pull
in
the
peanut
actually
you
know
what
urndale
urndale
my
i need
your
opinion
on this
so when
assigning a
disorder
um
if if the
character is
unaligned and
hulky is
currently unaligned
um the gm
gets to pick
one of the
chaos gods
that the
scene of the
disorder
most represents
do you have
any chaos
deities that
you think
fit this
scene pretty
well
you mean
this utter
and replete
madness
going bond
back and
forth between
failed shots
and just
violence
occurring with
seemingly
no rhyme
or reason
yeah
yeah i would
say that's a
pretty zinchian
thing
cool
excellent
hey hey
uh hulky
yeah
let me a d100
sure thing
thurston
oh i hope
you get the
one i want
you to get
i don't like
that one
it's not
really
appropriate
in this
i'm gonna
have you
re-roll
no no
it's just
not appropriate
it's just
no no
no it's
it just
it literally
wouldn't make
sense here
oh fuck
okay
erndel
you did
this
um
oh no
from this
evgenny you're
going to gain
the following
disorder
obsessive
cleanliness
yeah that's
the one i
wanted him
to get
oh my god
you are
terrified of
filth
rot and
disease
you go to
great lengths
to keep
yourself
your possessions
and surrounding
items clean
will avoid
dirty things
uh if you
are confronted
with such
individuals
or situations
you must
make a
willpower
test
if you
fail you
are overwhelmed
by disgust
well
no it's okay
i don't want
to engage
with him
anyway
fucking whatever
i'll just
find something
else to
talk to
first i'm
gonna i'm
gonna ask
no to
re-roll
it
no that's
the best
no no
he's right
he's right
he's right
he's right
i can't even
talk with one
of our party
members
that's what
the fucking
no no it's
fine it's
no he's
right he's
right he's
right no
no he's
right i
didn't realize
it wasn't like
i thought it
was objects i
didn't realize
with people as
well that that
is that is
not going to
be working for
a party
well do it
again fuck
it yeah do
it again do
it again
the gark
dodds do
not will
this
fine you
know what it
was the first
one we're gonna
go back to
it you are now
obsessed with
zeech's sacred
number nine
whenever you
can you will
arrange items
or groups
and stacks
of nine
or a multiple
of nine
you will
always count
to nine
that's that's
why i didn't
like that one
it wasn't super
thematic to what
happened but i'm
gonna give it to
you anyways
well what was
the other one
you know
you could count
to nine
that was that
was the one
he rolled it
twice he rolled
it twice
oh
yeah
no you know
what fuck it
fuck it
just pick one
no no no no
roll me a d100
again i'm going
to i'm gonna
override the
zeech table
re-roll
you know if you
think about it
this is really
in character
because here we
have small
little baby man
wearing a tuna
can comparative
to the other
members of the
party the dark
gods decide his
fate he doesn't
it's true
that part of
zeech's plan
get him in
yay
we're switching
it up
we're no
we're switching
it up
we're switching
you're abstemious
the puritanical
character
now follows
code of strict
abstinence
you reject
worldly pleasures
especially pleasures
of the flesh
for the austere
life of a warrior
aesthetic
you consider yourself
a purist
in combat
and military
matters
and when dealing
with those
who do not
share your
single-minded
focus
you suffer
an interaction
penalty
which I will
bring up
and you will
obviously remind
me of
wait that's
just the same
thing but for
everyone else
now
no it's the
same thing
but only for
me
yeah
you got the
nargo debuff
guy
they got the
sloness debuff
no
hold on
hold on
because it's
an interaction
penalty
so it means
I can't
convince
Byzanti
but Byzanti
can convince
me
no no no
and to be
clear
and to be
clear
and to be
clear
the one
that the
one that
affected
Erndel
was bullshit
because you
would have to
make a test
otherwise you
just wouldn't
interact with
them which
isn't fun
this one is
if you made
a test to
say influence
Byzanti
you would
fail but
remember
generally we're
not using
tests on
other players
like
so that
actually fits
a lot better
I need to
make a
fucking
I need to
make the
willpower
check that
we decided
was too
bullshit to
interact with
Nurgle
if I want
to share
information
with someone
correct
and that
was decided
it was too
hardcore
to give to
one of our
players
yeah but you
accepted it
you said you
loved it
you said you
loved it
that's because
I'm a nice
guy
nice guys
finish last
man this
fucking
system
really loves
to tell
players how
to play
their
characters
it's so
funny
I'm losing
faith in it
you should
you should have
just dealt
with being
the dirt
boy
you should
have not
having to
interact with
a character
ever
ever
can we
re-roll it
another time
we could have
just said
that he could
have gotten
the penalty
we haven't
gotten to
you're literally
telling him
we should
just make it
so that he
and Erndl
don't interact
fine
no fine
you know
what fine
I'm picking
I'm picking
just pick
one
dead inside
dead inside
I'm picking
dead inside
dead inside
dead inside
dead inside
you've seen
things on the
battlefield
unspeakable
things that
have seared
your soul
you're brooding
quiet and
withdrawn most
of the time
stare fixedly
into space
and speak
in monotone
voices
often times
your presence
is unnerving
you suffer
a minus 10
penalty on all
interaction tests
all right
yeah
and you don't
like dirty
things and
you love the
number nine
all of them
yeah all of
them
fuck you
all of them
no I
can't interact
with any
members of
the party
I want
every single
mental illness
that makes me
unable to
function
and you can't
take Tylenol
and I'm a
Sigma who does
not believe in
sex
true
evgeny the door
the door to the
bunker is open
and there are
three corpses
in here
what are you
doing now
that you've
uh kind of
become dead
inside as well
evgeny is going
to well
all emotion is
going to drain
from his face
as an unnatural
calm besets him
not calm
more
disaffectedness
nothing matters
anymore
all of his
squad mates
are dead
there are
horrors beyond
his comprehension
that can spawn
out of thin air
and he watched
a crab
crack somebody
else open
not even a crab
but close enough
evgeny is going
to take all
possessions that
could keep him
alive off
his squad mates
and shove all of
them outside of the
bunker no he's
going to strip
the bodies
because
throne knows
he might need
their armor
and he's going
to pile them
at the door
and he's just
gonna sit
and he's gonna
just sit
for a very
long time
all right
and waiting
at the door
evgeny stares
out into
the distance
we go back
in time a little
bit sometime
before uh
erndell will you
please read the
quote
do you want
me to read
it as this
person
i mean
your choice
your choice
i can if you'd
like
absolutely
there
feel the glory
of necrosis
and rejoice
glurgle loves
you
of old care
the great
unclean one
from dawn of
war 2
that's right
welcome to the
tutorial
in this tutorial
how to make
a skirmish
game
let me teach
you how to
make a skirmish
game
that's not
what they
say i
fucked up
i'm stupid
yeah you're
going to hell
you're
you're
cyphus
worm spine
you are alone on the space hulk tyrant immortal you've been cut off from your fellow squad mates
you are traipsing through cyclopean and tight-knit halls of starships that have
amalgamated together over millennia of travel through both the immaterium and real space
you aren't disturbed by what's happened it's all inevitable after all your squad mates still
maintain vox communications with you all of you scattered during the initial attempt to board
the vessel brother photorus brother gremis brother hero drask all of them now chirps in the vox with
occasional updates gremis i have found a cathedral it is big here i am alone
photorus i've found my way into an ancient chamber i think i am being followed
and brother hero drask whose only sound is the constant staccato of bolt fire you are alone too
walking down the halls here lumens red most often sometimes a bit of a yellow color that brings
some emotion the sickly light but you follow one thing a tiny little creature a green ball
squishy flesh and comical horns that defecates on the floor as it hops and jumps and this little lord
leads you through the halls of the hulk
it's brother gremis who speaks up and contacts you directly have you found anything selfish
have you found the way out have i so far thurston no you are you are trying to find any way
of maneuvering through here i guess one question would be is do you have any skills um related to
either navigation or survival uh i do not have survival okay and i but i do have navigate surface
though that you know what i will i will allow that here because because these are these are very very
large um vessels that honestly more represent cities than they do actual starships that would that
would make the most sense yeah give me a give me a just challenging uh navigation check all right
you've got it let's see what i get target is 41 yeah with a 63 that is new with three degrees of
failure you are lost within this vessel the only thing you have to sort of follow is the little lord
that flatulates and chuckles as it hops and skips down the halls seemingly having some path it's
following no brother grimace we have not found anything as of yet you must be patient remember
that everything is inevitable i know but i i can hear them they're getting closer then face the
inevitability with a bright smile if it's coming you know to be prepared for it and and the the the
the bolter fire continues uh coming from hurrell drask suddenly there is a a a breach in that sound
as you hear the crackling voice come through yes yes ah there's so many of them it is glory it's a
gift a bounty a bounty of floral blooms of bursting flesh but they are plants they are plants so it is fine
well i'll mark that on the telly then yeah i must i'm i think if i if i can go low oh no there are many
of them my brothers i do not think i will survive this photorous vox is in i do not think i will make it
ouch i will go gladly into this fate it is inevitable and like there's a refrain from the others
inevitable even even hero just inevitable it was inevitable and you hear this like sound it's like a
whistling like a
followed by an immense explosive sound and then brother photorous's signal on your vox
goes flatlined and you see no communications or any kind of status updates from him ah into the embrace
he goes brothers continue your work into the embrace he goes there are not many of us left on here
it is a shame we could not take it we did not know it was already inhabited such mistakes are the
folly of everyone we simply deal with the hand we are dealt carry on and make no fuss ah yes
i i am out of hammer for the boat now i should use the sacred knife stab in stab out stab in stab out
and you just like hear this refrain um and and as you're as you're you're hearing this you see the
little lord at the end of a long narrow hall standing on one leg kind of doing almost a 45 degree angle
with its hands in the air it does like a big raspberry like as it also continues to defecate in front
of you the lord leads me onward i shall be upon something soon i believe do try to stay alive until
then brothers oh as you wish yes ah stab in stab out stab in stab out uh give me an awareness at
plus 40 please okay i will give that a go plus 40 you said yep triple
85 one above where that so it's one degree of failure
you are you are so you are so concentrated on what you are doing you are following this little lord
to the to the effective like detriment of taking in anything else it's
um you you pass through like a a walkway that's elevated above a room something might
be going on in the room but you don't pay it any attention uh instead you carry on into what appears
to be a an array of um maintenance ducts uh the the your bulk takes up the entirety of this hall
the little lord continues to lead on to where does he lead us to where does he lead us brothers it is
taking me on a detour i shall give updates as best i can communication may be difficult in these ducts
plants plate goes in plate goes out plate goes in plate goes out yes brother it's fine oh i think
they may be upon me it's time i shall look forward to seeing you in the garden go then go then and do
not tear and you hear this like immense what's followed by this
and what sounds almost like a bursting sound of ripe fruit some explosive sound
like punctuated with with flesh and raw like material um and then
brother grimace disappears from your feet leaving only here drask disappointing but not unexpected
the little lord is still there drask knife goes it knife goes out knife goes it knife goes out yes do
keep that up yes yes of course the little lord has reached a maintenance door it it's trying to turn
the like it's it's clutched on to it's one of those sort of um like wheel open so you turn the wheel and
it's trying so hard but it's own weight isn't enough like it's it's like leaning on it like like
literally jumped up and trying to put all of its weight and this thing refuses to budge uh cephas
will trump forward you know fair not like put like horribly slowly but he is very like he's not rushed for
time on anything he's taking things very slowly and he will go up to the presuming that this is a
nergling correct yeah yeah he will he will put his hand beneath the nergling not even remotely bothered
by any horrendous awful secretions that this thing may be dribbling onto his hand merely by its foul
little presence and he will pat it on the head before gripping the the bulkhead wheel with one other
hand and preparing to turn it as you as you pat it on the head it burps at you come the little one
allow me and and you you open the door with no issue however as you do you see in the chamber
that's beyond which is some kind of possibly training or sparring room hexagonal chamber
that's off kilter from the doorway that leads into it again an amalgamation of ship parts blasted together
there is a host of green skins within they all look up their checker pattern uh shoulder pads and head
plates with beady red eyes on their green skin with weapons raised and you you hear almost like
just just just like a an annoyance say whoa boys uh an annoyance embars my path and he will slide his
hand into his uh grenade launcher once more and raise it up preparing to clear the way excellent i'm gonna
put us into combat here i'll get you to go to the encounter table and roll initiative for me against
this mob of lads all right i will roll a six all right you will get to go first cephas so so they've
turned they've seen you there they are shouting um but you you have them by surprise here
i will open up very simply i will do a half action aim and i will launch a grenade at them how far away
are they roughly um they're extremely close i'd say they're probably well probably about within 10 meters
so that would be short range for me not point blank thank god for that that'd be very awkward
considering i have a grenade launcher yeah uh and i am doing a half action aim so that's plus 10
and it is a standard attack as well so that's also plus 10. yes so we're looking at plus
20 for the modifier and then plus 10 for short range right yeah
uh 78 gotta roll a scatter okay so roll the scatter and then based on where it goes basically
in this case a one is bad for you all right let me roll the scatter button come on it doesn't do it
yeah there you go there we go yeah so it goes it goes now roll uh oh and you roll it does do the
distance here uh so it moves one meter so so it only moves so it's still gonna hit them yeah it's
still it's still definitely gonna hit this uh this mob of lads as it does so so this is a horde
so when you fire a blast weapon into a horde um you effectively hit them a number of times equal to
your blast what's the blast rating on the six so you will hit you'll effectively hit them six times with
this there are 20 lads here um so you may roll damage please all right get out of my way green
skins you're interfering
and the damage will be fairly high at a 17. oh yeah uh six of them melt and and at the same point as that
happens i believe i also have to do a a toxic trait so i'm gonna roll that as well i don't think you have
to if they're dead do you uh i'm going to count it as the entire mob kind of gets a bit so i'm gonna
give it to you as a little bit extra just for this fair enough um and because there's three degrees of
failure uh i'm gonna say that actually three more start like gasping as as like your your single grenade
begins to chew through them they're close and you see them like melting into slurry as hands go out
there are only 11 of them left like grenades whistling through the air like a screaming head of
nonsense yeah um they are however going to uh to come in at you really quickly just give me one
moment here by all means and yeah you can tell that they are rushing um towards you uh with with again a
big whoa uh as you see choppers coming up and those choppers raise up high and they are attacking
you so in melee um they they get some bonuses against you so um when they are attacking you in melee
they will get some bonuses to their attacks based on the magnitude of the horde so there's you know
it's not it's not a massive mob anymore so they aren't going to get a ton of bonuses but we will see
if they can do this they're going to get only plus a d10 to their damage if they hit you so we will see if
they do that they are coming at you again sort of as you're standing in the doorway the little lord
cowering behind your your feet like they going to ambidextrous i'm just ambidextrous and being
constantly braced from that uh that ability i have i don't remember which one it is i believe it's
bulging biceps i don't remember which yeah bulging biceps is the one which means i can have both my power
sword and my grenade launcher ready even though they hit me easily with a five
yeah they are going to smash into you um they will get an extra d10 on this so we'll see if
this matters it's very lucky they hit me in the body because that's the one area i've got more armor
on yeah oh god double ones their attacks bounce off of you as they've charged into you
a pitiful attempt behind you the little lord
if that is your best attempt allow me to show you what nurgle has in store for you
and i will swing my power sword at them go my sort of power uh this is a standard attack
any modifiers beyond that no so instead uh it's going to um just just be a standard attack against
them yep can i i cannot aim a melee swing no no you just know you just get the standard attack
it time to swing i'm still targeting them yes i am good swing uh 42 will hit with two degrees of
success okay you will you will hit um and you will instantly just give one of them all right um there
are nine left uh at this point they are behind their normal threshold so they have to make a
willpower test uh and we will see if they succeed it you do not succeed it they break and run first of
all you can take an opportunity attack a reactive attack on them as they like turn and you like just
start running towards the door in the opposite end of the training room that you're sort of standing
in the other doorway of come back let me let me usher you into nurgle's embrace come back and i will
swing my power sword again with a reactive strike yep go uh 35 that will be three degrees of success
still one hit yeah so you you slash another one down as they run away it's sort of like falls it's
back landing in like it's back torn open as it lands the the remaining eight are now pounding on
the opposing door like trying to open it not thinking to move the wheel it's your go against
he's going to fire yet another blight grenade at them absolutely i need to clear them out i gotta
get moving yeah i'm going to this is not point blank yet i'm not going to do that uh i'm gonna half
action aim again so that'll be plus 20 for standard attack etc let's try that again launcher high 86
it's gonna miss uh but roll the scatter because it could just still still tag them we always gotta
try uh it rolls one meter east so we'll hit them again i think because i'm not seeing it i think you
i think it's not accounting for the 1d5 it shouldn't actually it won't matter here because like it's
blast six so it's always gonna hit them but that's just something we should check for next time um all
right so um you're going to get six of them roll damage you got it
another stinky grenade oh that was a lot of damage god that's my game this is more damage than i did
during the test session oh yeah like and again like more of them just start like like grasping and
clawing at their at their face and like you don't do the toughness um yeah i'm gonna roll the toughness
test for a second see if this matters oh god degrees of failure huh well yeah because they're
they're they're not target yeah because they have a 25 where they have a 45 toughness but minus 20
because if you're toxic and they rolled an 89 um so they all like just dissolve into like puddles of
green mush and rusted and corroded equipment and you hear from like behind your feet
as the little lord comes scampering from between your feet like
just not caring moving between the the like orcs that are dissolving in the room
and the little lord hops onto the the wheel on the on the other stop in stop out stop it didn't work
oh and then your last companions uh as brother hero drask's name blinks out
this hulk was a mistake but yes yes yes yes i'm on my way and he will tromp over to the freshly
corroded but you know covered in muck and rot door and we'll just crank the wheel down
yeah the nurgling hops off and begins urinating on the puddle of orc piece of what a fucker
uh um as you open the door zoran odo and speaker can you give me an agility test please oh i would
love to well actually just like just actually wait wait wait 1d10 uh 1d10 plus your agility uh modifier
so whatever the first number is near agility with plus 1d10 let's do that oh uh i'll give you a 14.
i'll give you a 12. okay lifas give me a moment
oh yeah i math wrong you got so many windows i know i know i know i know i have to do the
tack or else it'll fall apart he has to do his taxes his taxes okay i got a six for
toll ten all right as you open the door cephas you're encountered by a massive figure in cornate
armor wielding an immense two-handed chain hammer which is the most ridiculous weapon um and they
stare down at you ha oh this is curious you are not the green skin no there were many beyond that door
but they are in nurgle's garden now who are you who are he will like lean to the side and you will see
some like really foul looking pale grease ooze out from the three holes in his sackcloth hood
who are you three but then unfurl of his cloak
i am the fantastical the amazing all-powerful sorcerer lifos and these are my assistants
any kind of gestures to the two they follow me in my congress for ultimate power
that we are not his followers they do not know it yet they are finding it out day by day i'm very
certain i am extremely certain i am bethiel the brass hound and i am the great and magnificent pause pause
give me a willpower test peter
i believe it's a minus 10 isn't it
sure sure right oh my god oh yes yes you can get in your name
yay hulky crow die
i didn't do anything i'm congratulating you
like all of our discussions like out of the game like we're just like let's do this as a serious
garrison one let's role play seriously you know let's kind of do all that because we
noticed that every single time we fucking roll anything he's like man there's the peanut gallery
we try to be a little bit serious i that i want speaker d and not silent d
silent d and i as i have deemed you worthy of now knowing
i'm the great and powerful by santi misfit slaneshi between appointments
very interesting that the gods would have us meet here on this hulk i am cephas worm spine nurgle champion
why do they call you that if i am to pass away you are free to find out
i bet he's got a worm for a spine you are a deft one more than one aha i was right
you were all right and i must congratulate you on your adroit
assessment but i am curious you all being here is rather unusual given that
this vessel to my knowledge was only found by us in the cleaved until just now who the hell are the
cleaved um all right all right so do any of you have any lures that would be appropriate to this
perhaps forbidden lord chaos space brain yeah absolutely sure uh you know what i'll even allow
but i'll let speaker i'll let you do that as an easy check so plus 30 and zorn for you would be an
ordinary check plus 10. got it five five nine holy oh my god they know everything yeah yeah both of you
are like ah yes the cleaved obviously um so so in fact yes yes you probably know um the cleaved are a
war band of chaos space marines um they are renegades so they are not um they are not space marines that
were like you know from from the long war so to speak um they uh have had irregular appearances their
first known appearance appearance was on the planet uh magma credelion uh where they essentially
appeared and massacred the guardsmen and secured uh the planet for the traitors uh in more recent
times they've they've been known to do various like space hulk boardings um to take over and find
technology and what within they are very much a group uh known for their like raw endurance and
ability to to keep fighting on uh except for like the most difficult of uh of you know injuries and
sustained you know assaults you would know however with with your your varying degrees of success
here and in fact both of you with seven and eight degrees of success respectfully um would know that
when you came on board this space hulk because you came on for a similar uh reason you had reason to
believe that the cleaved would be here um and much much as you're guessing your your new associate
has come to realize you weren't expecting a bunch of green skins to be on this ship and now you're
you're desperately trying to get off uh last thing you would know is that their vessel um and sephus
would know this too that the vessel they came on board was destroyed you're up shit creek without
battle not like such a thing would bother a good nurglite boy like you welcome to our merry band brother
well considering i am without battle brothers at this stage yes i would welcome it i tell you
i find it a bit unusual that our fourth wouldn't carry the livery of a true legion but i do appreciate
a good off pink well the gods work in mysterious ways you're a true believer aren't you well if it
bothers you so much you may foresee this and he will like raise up his arm and you'll see like a coating
of foul green grease just kind of like ooze out from some of the joints is that a green enough for you
slim is she i don't know if we're going to get along but i get a feeling that you'll be a lot of fun
one can hope in order you are valuable in the path ahead
of us get along i do not consider myself a slouch in the art of combat if we are to get off of this
ship is collecting it for the glory of the cleaved and for grandfather nurgle is a
pipe dream at present very contested now that there are other forces around uh lifeless likes
to look around what exactly are we doing here on the ship uh you were boarding to to try to find any
useful technologies or equipment um you'd made your way into for you know several hours until you
realized that there was a green skin mob on board and now you've been desperately trying to extricate
back to your fire raptor to get off the ship gotcha okay you were you were closing the other thing that
you would note right away is that the little lord the the tiny daemon of nurgle uh is shitting on your
foot oh my god lithos looks down it looks up like like willem dafoe
oh my god lithos looks down he'll say i assume this one is in your charge
uh it seems that it has taken a liking to use each in i take that as good uh a good omen of sorts given
our disagreements between your god and mine i will tolerate his existence for now as long as it can
be as lithos kind of like leans down a little bit kind of like being as intimidating as possible toward
it as long as it is useful it picks its nose and burps at the same time so lord what a lad
young lord do not agitate him we had best keep moving you are guiding me somewhere i believe
in response it just turns and like looks down it hasn't stopped shitting this entire time
so there's like kind of a mound that's almost as big as it on lifos's foot
oh where the hell is he getting that fiber from that should be liquid true everything is provided
in nurgle's garden oh my god
nurgle's garden with its poop fiber that's right
it's actually a portal in its butt that was cephas's alternate name bile poop feast
but i decided against it good true uh so almost as though it's like answering you that the way you
should go is the zinchian guy um he continues shitting to indicate this i believe it has led
me to you and we know the way back to our raptor or to our ship yeah yeah yeah you're actually fairly
close you've been like you you're you're you're like you're fairly close to the fire raptor at this
point and and just so i can get context like once we get on it is that just been our ship of
transportation or do do we dock no you have you have another ship which we'll talk about later okay
oh it's like i'm trying to follow along with the say here because i'm just like let's just chill out
man now we are just hanging easily no more the merrier for all the collective crew i would say
we have a ship nearby i would welcome you to come with pilgrimage to see my magical glory rise through the
ranks you know i can't help but have my heart warm deep down in its cockles to see you so warmly welcome
your brother from an opposing god bethael how come you're never this nice to me
because somehow i even prefer his stink to yours you know bethael one of these days you're gonna get
your head chopped off and i'm gonna make sure it goes someplace very special
the feeling is mutual and it will go right here and i'm gonna point at the skull totem on his back
you should wear me on your back you should be honored to watch my back forever you better put me on the
front nothing less will suffice for my vanity maybe if you prove yourself oh and don't get me started on
you know back at scalathrax i would have had you here and there and there and there
the nergling runs behind your foot life us and starts pushing it seems he's eager it has been guiding
me i am certain i would be a welcome addition to your retinue i would simply have to get in touch
with my superiors after but that is neither here nor there because everyone who i came aboard with
is gone so rather than leap pointlessly into nurgle's embrace i shall forestall it after all not meant to
die here i follow your lead it is all a part of his plan come along crew we must extricate
i believe he's done plenty of that so far yes that's a lot
you know one thing i like about you bethael
really there's one there's one thing i do like about you oh name it i'm honored okay here it goes
out of all of us you're the only one that doesn't seem to earnestly think that they're in charge
the screen starts the screen starts like fading to black as you're walking down
with sevens and toes i grab him and shake him around
hey odo oh that's me yeah you want to read the quote that's on the screen oh all right it is us
us the truth that there is nothing in this galaxy but us it is our emotions our shadows our hates and
lusts and disgusts that lie in wait on the other side of reality that's all every thought every memory
every dream every nightmare that any of us have ever had credited to iskandar kyan of the black legion
evgeny you sit alone in a bunker surrounded by the well surrounded by the
remains of what was once the corpses of your fellows the corpses themselves having been placed outside
you have your trusty weapon and the door begins to open what do you do as you see the bunker door
begin to turn if you had any little shoulder aiming at the door aiming at presumably whatever is person
height okay and as you aim and the door opens four angels descend upon you that is where we'll end our
first episode
blood and dunder
god
voice fucking hits me deep
gets you go get some water
go and garble
no it's it's it's not even that it's particularly raspy it just tugs on one specific cord
and it starts it's just right there and it's just the one the beth iel noises have knocked loose
all of the phlegm in my head and i'm now i'm just like
congratulations you won a priging one hundred dollar walmart gift card
and i'm byzanti the server
i like byzanti so far you've done a good job
job oh he's great thank you thank you i i adore everybody i'm just glad you made that willpower
test to tell him your name
or else we would have to change we would have to just constantly change his name in the overlay for
whatever name he gives
alternate reality where alternate reality where he perpetually fails that check and i never learn
his name so i can't refer to him
i just like the idea too that if you meet someone he will refuse to tell the name and
then one of you will be like that's byzanti
oh my kid he'll just be like
i'm supposed to take this
you would not know that
all right have an amazing time and of course listeners and we hope you had an amazing time
too thank you so much for supporting us here at narrativedictorations.com you can always find
our patreon uh youtube channel podcast stuff everything else thank you for listening to the first
episode of war hands a chaos odyssey we will see you in the next adventure goodbye goodbye