PILOT: Hear Biola Theatre actors dramatize ‘The Critic,’ a script by Kendsy Kendall

In "The Critic," a script by Kendsy Kendall, three friends review a movie on their way home from the theater. The feisty one and the patient one uncover some lore behind the movie, which is a great birthday gift for the annoying one.

Project VA is a new Biola student podcast from The Torch Podcast Network set to launch next semester. Subscribe and follow the show to support student actors and creatives from Biola University's Theatre department—you'll be the first to hear episodes as they come out next semester.

Have a script, short story, or poem you'd like to hear performed? Interested in voice acting? Submit your work or interest with this form or email [e-mail].

Read the transcript of this episode here.

Cast:
Lex (the feisty one): Mariette Nel
Matt (the patient one): Samuel Hernandez
Carlos (the annoying one): Luke Bona

Crew:
Producer, director: Charisse Ginta
Audio editing: Zane Zietlow, Hope Li
Torch executive producer: Hope Li
Music: Used with permission from Warner Chappell Production Music

Creators and Guests

Producer

Hope Li

Executive Producer of The Torch Podcasting Network

What is The Chimes Weekly?

Bite-sized podcast episodes with your top news stories from The Chimes, Los Angeles County, the nation and the world, with an interview with a Chimes writer to close out your week.

By Biola University students, for Biola University students. Previously known as Chimes Rundown and KBR Daily News Updates by KBR The Torch.

Hope Li: What you’re about to hear is a pilot episode of Project VA, a new student podcast from The Torch Podcast Network. “The Critic” is a script written by screenwriting major Kendsy Kendall and voice acted and dramatized by three students behind Project VA. Here we go!

CARLOS
Well, there goes two hundred bucks straight down the toilet.

LEXI
Good thing the cash didn’t come from your own pocket. Oh, and happy birthday by the way.

CARLOS
Thanks, Lex! Anyway that show was total crap.

LEXI
Kind of a bummer you got a front row seat to it, huh?

CARLOS
Tragic is more like it. A hot mess from start to finish.

MATT
But the cast seemed pretty put together during the Backstage Meet and Greet.

CARLOS
Being a good person and being a good performer are two completely different things.

MATT
Well, you’re not wrong.

CARLOS
And bro, don’t even get me started on the leads.

MATT
I thought they were pretty good.

CARLOS
He was good for nothing. And she was just pretty.

MATT
Dang. Hot take.

CARLOS
Their chemistry should’ve been hot, but the love scenes were duds. No sparks flew. The man had zero rizz.

LEXI
He’s a deformed monster for three fourths of the play. I don’t think he’s supposed to have any.

CARLOS
Well, in the movie it was based on, she’s supposed to be attracted to his personality despite his
deformity. It’s the whole point of the story, but they completely fumbled it.

LEXI
Have you read the book?

CARLOS
Yeah, of course.

LEXI
Then somehow you forgot that the personality-deformity tension is just the main purpose of her
character arc.

MATT
You’re missing the big picture, bro. The whole point of the story is about the monster’s internal
transformation.

LEXI
Slow down. We’re using some pretty big words, Matt. I’ll translate it to English for him: the story is about how the monster learns to love the world around him, even though the people he shares it with despise him.

MATT
That’s a cute way to put it. You get the gist, right Carlos?

CARLOS
Guys, I’ve read the book like ten times. That’s not what it’s about.

LEXI
I don’t know which book you’ve been reading, but clearly it’s not the right one.

MATT
Guess he’s never heard of the unabridged version.

CARLOS
Unabridged?

MATT
Yessir. Dixon Malcolm explored the topic quite extensively. The man was brilliant!

LEXI
I wouldn’t go that far. Clearly his publishers and editors didn’t think so.

MATT
The only reason they had to cut so much of it out was because he was ahead of time.

LEXI
Matt, he was causing massive waves between county districts. Pretty much riots.

MATT
He was being progressive.

LEXI
He spent ten years fighting over the copyright. His family had to go into hiding. He was out of his
mind!

MATT
He was a visionary, Lexi. It was his magnum opus. You’re still tracking with us, right?

CARLOS
Um...yeah.

LEXI
The guy was a lunatic, but thank God his wife brought him to his senses.

MATT
True. He almost lost his career.

LEXI
He almost lost his whole family! Those bullies were borderline assassins. And Carlos, you know what’s really wild?

CARLOS
Yeah, what?

LEXI
Is how his original drafts survived after his office got bombed by that cult.

MATT
Well, that’s because his wife locked them in a suitcase and hid it in their basement closet during
his manic episode.

LEXI
Absolute queen! And that’s why on the first page of all the standard editions, he says “For my love and life, Annika...”

MATT
“The rescue to our little opus.”

LEXI
But obviously you already knew all that stuff, right?

CARLOS
Some of it. But how did you guys learn about all this?

MATT
There’s a really niche documentary called “All For the Opus”.

LEXI
And a bunch of articles online. You just have to know where to look.

MATT
Plus we both read the unabridged version and the standard edition.

LEXI
We did a capstone project on it for our AP Lit class last year.

MATT
Now there’s two hundred hours we ain’t never getting back.

LEXI
But we still got to keep that A Plus, baby!

MATT
Heck yeah!

CARLOS
Well the show still sucked!

MATT
Yeah, maybe you’re right. The book was better.

LEXI
The unabridged version, of course.

Hope Li: We’re so excited to see Project VA launch and grow. If you liked what you heard, or you have a script of your own you’d like to hear dramatized, OR if YOU want to give voice acting a try, let us know by DMing us on Instagram @kbr_the_torch or emailing [e-mail]. See the show notes for some more details.