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Mental Selling: The Sales Performance Podcast is a show for motivated problem solvers in sales, leadership and customer service. Each episode features a conversation with sales leaders and industry experts who understand the importance of the mindset and skill set needed to be exceptional at building trusted customer relationships. In this podcast, we get below the surface, tapping into the emotional and psychological drivers of lasting sales and service success. You’ll hear stories and insights about overcoming the self-limiting beliefs that hold salespeople back, how to unlock the full potential in every salesperson, the complexities of today’s B2B buying cycles, and the rise of today’s virtual selling environment. We help you understand the mental and emotional aspects of sales performance that will empower you to deliver amazing customer experiences and get the results you want.
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Transcription
INTEGRITY SOLUTIONS | MENTAL SELLING | LAUREN DEAL
Episode Transcript
This has been generated by AI and optimized by a human.
Lauren Deal (00:00):
The best stories have stakes. What's at risk? What's something that you can gain, but also there's an element of vulnerability. You need to put your heart on the table a little bit to allow them to have a safe space where they can also meet you halfway. Because when you're sharing something real or an imperfect moment or an inside that resonates with you, people will lean in. They'll be more willing to create that braid of trust.
Hayley Parr (00:27):
This is Mental Selling, the sales podcast for people who are dedicated to making a difference in customers' lives. We're here to help you unlock sales talent, win more relationships, and transform your business with integrity. I'm your host, Hayley Parr. Let's get right into it. Welcome to Mental Selling Podcast, brought to you by Integrity Solutions, where we explore the mindset and human elements behind sales success. Today's guest brings a powerful blend of charisma and credibility to the conversation. Lauren Deal is a seasoned TV host, media personality, and communication expert who knows what it takes to build trust and captivate an audience in seconds. But Lauren doesn't just live in the world of media. She's also one of our incredible facilitators at Integrity Solutions. This unique combination gives her a fresh, deeply human perspective on what it means to connect, influence, and lead with authenticity. In this episode, Lauren shares what sales professionals can learn from the world of live TV, from storytelling and onscreen confidence to handling pressure, managing your mindset, and building real connection, whether you're across the table or behind a webcam. Whether you're leading a sales call, coaching a team, or finding your voice in a crowded market, Lauren's insights will help you show up with more clarity, confidence, and presence. Let's get started. Lauren, welcome. How are you?
Lauren Deal (02:02):
Fantastic. Thank you so much for having me, Hayley. This is going to be fun.
Hayley Parr (02:05):
Thank you for joining the Mental Selling podcast. I'm a little starstruck right now. I've been waiting for this conversation for so long. We're thrilled to have you.
Lauren Deal (02:16):
Thank you. Thank you. I'm thrilled to be here because Integrity Solutions has made such an impact on my life, and so it's neat to be able to share how that all comes together in a full picture moment.
Hayley Parr (02:27):
Absolutely. Absolutely. Couldn't agree more. Again, absolutely stoked for this conversation. Let's jump right in. You've spent time as a teacher, you've spent years in front of a camera. Building trust, building connections is what you do, and you build it very quickly. Walk us through your career journey a little bit. What brought you here? What helped develop the skills to help you thrive in such high visibility, high pressure environments?
Lauren Deal (02:53):
Absolutely. Well, you might be surprised to know that I started off as an elementary school teacher over a decade, and it's kind of funny because wrangling a classroom of kindergartners or fifth graders, honestly was great training for live television. I eventually transitioned into hosting for a national home shopping network where I had to learn how to build rapport instantly, connect with strangers through a screen and communicate clearly with no script, no retakes, and a countdown clock ticking. So that's a little bit of pressure, and that role really taught me how to trust myself under pressure, read the energy of an audience that I couldn't even see at all, and most importantly, how to lead with presence, purpose, and not judge myself on perfection.
Hayley Parr (03:40):
So I did know that you were a teacher, and that's absolutely incredible. The world needs more teachers like Lauren Deal. Were you Miss Deal, Mrs. Deal?
Lauren Deal (03:48):
I was Miss Deal.
Hayley Parr (03:49):
Miss Deal. Okay. Okay. That's such a fun jump in pivot in your career from teacher to live TV host. Were there any particular skill sets or lessons that translated from one to the next?
Lauren Deal (04:03):
Yeah, I would say probably the biggest lessons are connection. Trying to make an impact on a student is the same whether they are a little student or a lifelong learner student. And so I like to think that we're all just big kids and emotionally we buy something that means something to us, something that creates some clarity, some aha moments. And so that's the same with students. Students are looking for more clarity, logic, emotion, something that leads them to the features and data that will change their lives. But what really I think sticks out to me from a student or an adult perspective is persuasive communication. Knowing what your life looked like before something and what it possibly could look like after. And story gives people something to feel and remember. You want to make sure that whatever you're doing leaves an impact on who you're speaking with.
Hayley Parr (05:00):
Oh my gosh, I was thinking about storytelling as a mom to small children. I know how to kind of, or at least I'm working on it, how to frame a directive or a lesson or a message in a way that is actually going to make sense to them and sink in and something that they remember. So that's so critical. But as a TV host, essentially you're a professional storyteller. You're distilling information, you're engaging an audience, keeping things moving. What are some of the biggest lessons you've learned as far as storytelling goes, and how have you applied that beyond your career in TV, business sales, anywhere?
Lauren Deal (05:37):
Ooh, I feel like it's definitely something that impacts you as a whole person. So I think it's about storytelling, like we said, starting with a moment and not bursting into a monologue. Think about your product and your service and reframe it to think of it as the hero in your customer's journey. Where were they before? What problem did they have? What changed? Use some vivid real world examples and thinking about the phrase of how is this going to be the hero of their story? How is this going to change the game for them? And leading with that being your purpose rather than the features and the benefits of the product or service that you're doing. You're trying to make sure that the person that you're speaking with is positively impacted based on your communication and storytelling skills.
Hayley Parr (06:25):
I absolutely love that it's positioning them as the hero versus yourself because that's how they're going to frame the situation and understand it in language that makes sense to them. And I feel like in the sales world, which is kind of where this podcast stems from, we talk to a lot of salespeople or people in the enablement profession on both sides of the table. It can be difficult to not only move beyond the product, the what, and jump right into where they're most comfortable, but just the facts and the figures at large. Are there any other tips or tricks you would suggest within the storytelling realm to really help make a message stick?
Lauren Deal (07:10):
I think you have to lead with emotion. Think about the last time that you bought something and you looked at reviews and it was something that you needed, but when was the last time that you were walking through the grocery store aisle and you saw a candy bar and you just wanted it? There's a different reaction between a need and a want. And so if you can bridge that gap and help someone see the emotional connection and really get them excited, I think that is truly where storytelling and connection comes to life. The best stories have stakes. What's at risk? What's something that you can gain, but also there's an element of vulnerability. You need to put your heart on the table a little bit to allow them to have a safe space where they can also meet you halfway. Because when you're sharing something real or an imperfect moment or an insight that resonates with you, people will lean in. They'll be more willing to create that braid of trust, I like to say, and you want to stay grounded, stay human. Because when you are projecting, people lean back, it's too much to digest.
Hayley Parr (08:17):
Yeah, that emotion side of things, that makes a lot of sense. But where does that come into play then? Is that, is it in the structure of the story? Is it in the delivery or could you tell a brief story where you would give an example of where that emotion comes through?
Lauren Deal (08:35):
Yeah, I would say it's a mixture of structure and soul. A good story would just be you can sell something on a home shopping network and it could just be a ring, but is this a ring that you will buy today? And then it'll be something that you pass down through generations. And so it not only is a symbol of something that made you feel confident or beautiful that day, but is this something that now everyone in your lineage or your legacy is this ring that people are so proud to have something that was yours? And that's where that emotion comes in. Storytelling is not always about the thing. It's the impact and the legacy that thing will make not only on your life, but everyone that ripples from you.
Hayley Parr (09:19):
I mean, I know you're not selling me a ring right now, but now I'm like, oh, that's such a good idea, piece of heritage that you can pass down. I'm sold, Lauren. You're so polished and deeply authentic, and that's a really hard balance to strike. Any ideas or tips or tricks on how you maintain that authenticity in environments where they're demanding performance? Live TV like, hello, dress ball. I'm sweating over here just thinking about it.
Lauren Deal (09:48):
I'll be honest. Behind the scenes, there's five camera guys. There's three screens saying who's on the phone? What's being bought? The dollar signs by the minute. So the pressure and the performance driven environment is definitely there, but it's that staying in your purpose and treating every performance as a service. Why am I here today? Someone on the other side is going to be positively impacted by what I say today. So let's make sure that I'm authentic. I'm not pushy. I am trying to meet them where they are and make them better and focus on getting out of my own head. Because sometimes when you're thinking of all the things that are going on or maybe you're goal-driven or you have a quota, you're losing connection with, why are you here today? And it's the person that you're trying to connect with versus what are you trying to prove? And so I have to remind myself, this isn't even about me. Take me out of the equation. It's about the message and the person on the other side and staying really focused on that area to make sure that they're succeeding. It's not about me.
Hayley Parr (10:51):
Yeah, a really important reminder, something as a facilitator, we talk about it, Integrity Solutions all the time. That congruence of believing in what you're doing and sales being something you do for someone and not to someone. I just see the ties and it's why you're so darn good at what you do. It takes so much emotional intelligence in those scenarios of communication. So what role in your perspective does EI or EQ play in those situations? Whether you're interviewing someone on live TV, navigating a high stakes sales conversation, where does that come in?
Lauren Deal (11:27):
It's everything. Whether it's a professional avenue or a personal avenue, emotional intelligence is something that penetrates every realm of communication you have, whether it's with your spouse, your kids, your coworkers, a customer, a client, whatever industry you're in, it needs to be something where you're always strengthening that muscle. And if it's something that you recognize is not your strength, it should be a growth area that you really pour into because that's how you create connection. And whether it's in a TV studio through a screen, in a boardroom, you need to be able to sense the room or the environment that you're in, even if it's virtual, which can be even trickier or on the phone, you're losing a whole piece of the visual connection. But emotional intelligence means being able to read between the lines. What are they not saying? Sometimes communication is very loud, but body language is even louder. So you need to be able to regulate your own energy, read theirs, and then take some time to create some pauses, maybe pivot depending on the direction the conversation's going, and then be able to push forward again, keeping them as the focus. So emotional intelligence is everything in communication and self-awareness, but also awareness of who you're speaking to.
Hayley Parr (12:49):
Speaking of energy, it takes a lot to keep that up too, even for professionals like yourself who lived in that world and had to be on for so long day after day after day, it does, it just takes a lot of energy. You can't slip. I just can't even wrap my head around it. How do you stay so emotionally resilient? How do you keep showing up with that energy even when, or I guess especially when things don't go according to plan?
Lauren Deal (13:19):
Well, you have to understand that things will go wrong. You just have to lean into that. And then it's just recovery time. And I would also kind of wink at the camera and say caffeine and definitely helps kind of keep that energy where it is. But what I've learned to kind of separate is feedback from my identity. So even if things are not going well, it's the recovery, it's the resilience, it's the reflection. So a lot of Rs, and not every moment that doesn't go the way you planned it in your head is a failure. And sometimes it could be something that's out of your circle of control and you just have to push forward. And so I give myself permission to just be human on camera. People don't want a robot, someone that they can't connect to. They want someone that's a friend, someone that they could relate to, someone that they feel is someone that could sit at their dining room table and have dinner with them. That's what makes connection possible. If you're too polished or you're too, if you're too much of a celebrity, I'm thinking of Brad Pitt or Jennifer Aniston. I don't think they'd sit at my dining room table and I probably wouldn't get full sentences out because I would be too in shock that they're there. But having a Hayley or a Lauren sit across from you at the table, that sounds like someone I could have a conversation with.
Hayley Parr (14:35):
Lauren, you're welcome to my table anytime.
Lauren Deal (14:38):
Thank you, Hayley.
Hayley Parr (14:39):
That's set up.
Lauren Deal (14:42):
I'll be right over.
Hayley Parr (14:45):
In today's chaotic market, average won't cut it. The most successful sales teams aren't just selling, they're learning, adapting, and leading with purpose. Join us for a high impact webinar, "Winning in the Whirlwind", and discover how to turn training into your greatest revenue engine. You'll get actionable strategies to drive performance, build a purpose-driven culture, and equip your team to thrive, no matter the storm. Don't wait. Register at IntegritySolutions.com.
Hayley Parr (15:10):
So thinking about our audience and how many of them are either in the sales world or they're managing a team that's smiling and dialing and having these really high stakes conversations on a regular basis, maybe not on a live stage in a broadcast situation, but in the day-to-day world of selling, they have to turn on the confidence. How would you translate your experience doing that with the bright lights in the big audiences into the day-to-day conversations that happen at a business level? And do you have a go-to process that you would use to get mentally prepared when the stakes are high?
Lauren Deal (15:53):
Ooh, some people sit in silence, some people pray. Some people put on hype up music, some people visualize. I like to do a mindset reset, which is just thinking about when things did go well, how did I show up? What was I wearing? How did I feel? Grounding yourself physically. And so especially if you're virtual, just getting your camera set up and making sure you have eye contact and you've planned what you're going to say before you say it because when you wing it, it doesn't always go well. It sounds better in your head than when it comes out. So it's better to be prepared. Being present. So turning off all distractions and I mean your email, your text messages, putting your dog, I've got a dog and maybe kids or any other loud noises in another room and really getting into your presence. And so I'll be honest, I listen to hype up music. I look at maybe previous calls that went really well, and I just remind myself, I've done this before, I can do it again and let's do it today.
Hayley Parr (16:56):
So tuning out to tune in.
Lauren Deal (16:58):
Yep.
Hayley Parr (16:59):
It's an Integrity Solutions phrase. Like sprinkling those in. Hype up music, and it's all about the preparation, preparation, preparation, preparation. Sometimes though, we need to be able to dial up that confidence on demand. You never know when you're going to cross paths with the one person you've been meaning to get a conversation with and you have to be on and you have to be ready. Any kind of last minute tips to channel that confidence on demand?
Lauren Deal (17:28):
Oh, absolutely. Confidence is not something that's constant, I'll put it that way. And it's definitely not about having no fear. Sometimes confidence is born in a little bit of intensity because it's adrenaline. Jumping out of an airplane and hoping your chute opens can sometimes make you take action without overthinking. So when it comes to confidence, I would say definitely back to that preparation. Preparation breeds confidence because when you know what you're going to say or at least have an idea of where the conversation could go, you show up a little bit better. Your presence definitely is more sustainable for the distance of the conversation, and people can feel that. And if you practice your content out loud, so not just written down, you actually say the words out loud. You can understand if the tone is there, the pace is there, if it even makes sense, the words that you chose, are they landing the way you want the delivery to happen? Posture, remembering to breathe. It's weird if you hold your breath and just say a whole monologue. People are like, woo, that's a lot. And then eye contact sometimes when we think, we look away, but always coming back to the person that you're speaking with and remembering, you're just talking to a friend. You're trying to make their life better, so your confidence should be born out of excitement to make their life better. How exciting is that?
Hayley Parr (18:53):
I like how you phrased. The confidence isn't constant.
Lauren Deal (18:58):
Yes.
Hayley Parr (18:59):
I mean, that's the reality, right? As two fellow fairly extroverted individuals, it may seem like being on just comes naturally, but whether you are leading a broadcast, leading a sales pitch, sometimes there's feelings of self-doubt or impostor syndrome or internal or external criticism. Any tips for dealing with that? I think it's real.
Lauren Deal (19:20):
Oh my goodness. I think even the best of the best have impostor syndrome. There's always going to be someone who is a couple steps up the staircase further than you are, and you just have to remember, do not compare yourself to someone who started before you or someone who may look like they're doing better than you. If anything, that could be a possible mentor, someone that you could reach out to and just ask questions. I think where we get the impostor syndrome is assuming that someone is out of reach when many times if you reach out to that person, they are thrilled to assist. How neat would it be to have someone reach out and say, Hey, I really love what you're doing. Can you share or just pull me into your gravitational pool of greatness? That's so cool. So dealing with criticism, it's going to happen especially when you put yourself out there and you take a risk.
Lauren Deal (20:12):
But I would say don't give your fear the microphone. Instead, take it back. Think about all the things that you're capable of and charge forward. One of the things I really like to do is I have a wins folder, and I also hang up some picture frames around me in my office that are previous wins or emails or things that went well, or when someone's celebrating that their life has changed in a positive way and it was from an impact that I made. Those are the beautiful reminders that when you show up, you have something to say. Even if everyone around you is saying the same thing, you are going to say it just slightly different than someone else. And that is what makes you unique.
Hayley Parr (20:53):
Well, I mean, speaking of unique, your response to how to handle those feelings, I've never heard it before. The reframing of going from this is out of reach, I'm out of my depth. I shouldn't even be in this conversation to an opportunity to expand your network, build a connection, and then it's endless from there. That's, I've already taken so many little life tips away from this conversation. I know that our audiences too. I would love to kind of dial this into some really tactical tips and tricks. You and I are on a video call right now, and that's how I spend a good chunk of my day, and I'm sure in a lot of our audience does too. So let's talk a little bit about specific things around presence for video calls in virtual settings. So whether Zoom or Teams or Google or whatever folks are using, as one of our seasoned facilitators, you know better than anyone how important that presence is on screen, common mistakes people make, what are some things that break connection?
Lauren Deal (21:54):
Ooh, there are a couple that really stick out to me that are big ones, but I'll just start by saying that nowadays so many people are virtual or remote, and so the days of physically being in the same room with someone to have a conversation might not be the norm. And so we need to be comfortable in a virtual setting and in the video call virtual presence. And there are just a couple tips and tricks that will make a big difference when you're having a conversation with someone. Poor lighting is number one. If you're sitting in the dark, it's really hard to see you. And so it's hard to make a connection with someone that you can't completely make out their facial features. You want to make it feel like you're sitting at a table at a cafe with someone and the table is not very far away.
Lauren Deal (22:37):
So simple things, lighting, I should be able to see you. Bad framing is your camera like this, so you look like a child in a booth because it's really hard to have authority when you look like you are just a head in a booth. Making sure that you are well framed is so crucial. Also, what's behind you? Is it very distracting? Can I see laundry on your bed? Is it something where I'm not focused on what you're saying because there's something going on behind you that I have to focus on? Then there's also low energy. People can feel when you are passionate about something and they can feel when you're just going through the emotions or just through the motions and there is no emotion I should say. So making sure that your energy matches your passion and your purpose.
Lauren Deal (23:25):
And then treating every virtual meeting like it's a phone call with video is a huge mistake because when we are on the phone, we don't have the facial cues, and so you can be doing other things and you can be looking other places, and you don't have to be dialed in and tuning out the world. Instead, when you're on video, you have to be focused on the person across from you. And so going back to that, no distractions. Now, I'm not saying that you have to be perfect, but you do have to be intentional. And if you're not making eye contact with a camera, that is going to lose everything for you. So if I can give you one top takeaway, it's eye contact, lighting, oh, here's all the topics, what's behind you? And then having your camera. I elevate my laptop so that we are eye to eye, because if I'm looking down at you, that creates this body language of authoritative and not in a good way. And then again, going back to if I'm looking up, we're not equals having a conversation.
Hayley Parr (24:30):
Oh, interesting. I hadn't even thought of the vantage point of the laptop itself. As someone who's quite tall, I'm almost five foot 10. My laptop probably does need to be brought up just a little bit. Okay, no, noted. Oh, this is gold. This is absolute gold and not perfect, but intentional. I think we can all find ways to bring that intentionality into how we show up on screen. Even since starting this podcast, I hadn't thought much about video quality. I went and got a ring light. I got this new microphone, so my voice sounds a little more clear and it's made a big difference. I use it on all my regular calls too, not just the podcast.
Lauren Deal (25:10):
And you sound great. It looks very well framed too.
Hayley Parr (25:13):
Thank you. Same to you. A couple of professionals over here. Oh my goodness. This has been incredible. As we know, we could continue chatting all day long, but we do have to wrap. I just want two things. One, piece of advice you wish more professionals understood about communication, and two, this is just a little selfish one because I'm curious, what's something that's got your attention these days, like a trend or an article, anything that you're finding intriguing or maybe skeptical? What's something that you've just been chewing on?
Lauren Deal (25:46):
Ooh, great questions. I would say piece of advice for professionals. Just show up. I think the hardest part is not starting. It's you are too cognitive without action. You don't have to be perfect to be powerful, and the goal is not to have a flawless delivery, but to have a meaningful connection. And so just making sure you start and go through the process and not look at the end, because you can always redo. You can always get better, but if you are so stuck in the planning that you don't take action, that can actually be a huge hindrance. And people remember how you made them feel more than what you said word for word. And so showing up again, back to that emotional intelligence and being self-aware of what is the energy? How can I connect with them? That's the biggest piece. And then what has my attention these days? AI is everywhere. We know that AI has kind of dripped into everything and everything we do, but AI with communication styles or coaching, it's exciting that there are so many ways to make our day-to-day lives more convenient. But there is that limitation when it comes to AI where it doesn't have that human impact. It doesn't have presence, it doesn't have empathy. It doesn't have the little nuances that make you a human. And so we really can't completely outsource communication, and people can tell nowadays, when you see a LinkedIn post and it has certain amount of emojis, we can tell. Using AI as a tool, but not losing your voice is something that I'm focusing on these days, is how AI affects our communication without taking away our authenticity.
Hayley Parr (27:39):
I would imagine that's coming up in a lot of the events that you're facilitating too. We hear it at almost every conference we go to, and it's one thing that makes Integrity Solutions really unique is we're leveraging the tools so that we can all work smarter and more efficiently, and we're bringing that human-centric side of everything that we do, making sure that's forefront center, because at the end of the day, that's who we are. It's in the name, that's where we're going to stay true. So a good topic to keep at the forefront of your mind. That's excellent. Anything else? Any last thoughts, words, plugs, wisdom?
Lauren Deal (28:11):
Well, if you're watching this and you're thinking, wow, I haven't been on camera. I'm used to being in person and I feel like I've got my communication in person down, but I'm still a little nervous about how to speak on camera, I can help you build your confidence on camera and lead with clarity and speak with purpose and show up like the best version of yourself, whether it's a sales pitch or maybe you're walking across the stage for a keynote, or you just want to have more meaningful conversations through the screen with a customer. That's exactly what I help people do. So you can connect with me at www.masterymediatraining.com, and also here at Integrity Solutions as a facilitator, and I would love to work with you to enhance your sales experience or to be a better manager through coaching or just to have a better communication style. It's my passion.
Hayley Parr (28:59):
You heard it here, folks. Lauren Deal. Thank you. This was amazing. Have a great rest of your day.
Lauren Deal (29:05):
Thank you, Hayley.
Hayley Parr (29:06):
Bye-bye.
Hayley Parr (29:08):
Thank you for joining us on Mental Selling. If today's conversation resonated with you, be sure to subscribe, leave a review, and share it with your network. For more insights on how to go beyond winning deals and build real customer relationships, visit integritysolutions.com. See you next time.