Do You Need Wisdom in Your Parenting Journey?

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It takes so much wisdom to be a mom…even when your kids are adults. SO many decisions and interactions in motherhood require big time wisdom! Becky and Sarah talk about how to practically obtain wisdom in motherhood with our guest, Pam Farrel. Hint, hint...we're talking about wisdom in Proverbs.

ABOUT OUR GUEST
Pam Farrel and her husband, Bill, are the authors of 59 books including Men Are Like Waffles—Women Are Like Spaghetti (more than 350,000 copies sold) and Red-Hot Monogamy. In addition, Pam has written 52 Ways to Wow Your Husband and 7 Simple Skills for Every Woman: Success in Keeping It All Together. They are cofounders and codirectors of Love-Wise, an organization to help people connect love and wisdom and bring practical insights to their personal relationships. The Farrels live in California and enjoy spending time with their 3 sons, 3 daughters-in-law and many energetic grandkids. www.Love-Wise.com

Order Book: Wisdom in Proverbs

Get you copy of Cultivating a Deeper Connection in a Lonely World

Creators & Guests

Host

Becky Harling

Author of How to Listen So Your Kids Will talk and several others. Podcast host of The Connected Mom. A dynamic speaker who is passionate about Jesus.

Guest

Pam Farrel

author of 55+ books, intrnt'l speaker, wife, mom, nana, coach& road warrior. Gives practical insights on personal relationships-helping people become Love-Wise.

What is The Connected Mom?

Form a deeper connection with God, more empathetically connection with other Moms, and more intentional connection with your child.

Becky Harling (00:02.57)
the Connected Mom podcast where we have real conversations helping you to connect more deeply with God, more empathically with your fellow moms and more intentionally with your child. I'm Becky Harling, your host, and I have with me today my amazing co-host, Sarah Wildman. Hey, Sarah.

Sarah Wildman (00:23.03)
Hello, Becky. So great to be here. Okay. So being a mom takes so much wisdom. I'm going to say that again. It takes so much wisdom. I am in the beginning of the fall, like probably many moms and the big thing right now is school decisions, right? The wisdom and how to school your child. I mean, it just feels like there can be thing after thing where we really need

Becky Harling (00:31.89)
You think? Ha ha ha!

Sarah Wildman (00:49.534)
wisdom. So I love that we're talking about it today. I think it's going to apply to moms in a lot of stages of life.

Becky Harling (00:56.774)
Yeah, I did too, Sarah. In fact, I was on the phone just minutes ago with one of my daughters who was saying that they need wisdom because their little seven-year-old wants to do two sports this fall and they are a family of five boys. And yeah, and she's like, I don't know how we can keep up. Like we maybe need to think this through how many sports are enough, you know? And so it's the...

Sarah Wildman (01:16.988)
That's a lot.

Becky Harling (01:24.538)
It's the decisions like that. It's the decisions like you said over school. It's decisions at times about churches and what to allow them to get involved in. It's just, it does take so much wisdom. So I love that we're talking about this today too. Our guest today is Pam Ferrell and Pam has been on the show before. I think the last time you were on Pam, we were talking about marriage, but today.

Sarah Wildman (01:24.926)
Mm-hmm.

Pam Farrel (01:50.453)
I think so.

Becky Harling (01:51.922)
We're talking about wisdom because you and some of your friends have written another creative Bible study called Discovering Wisdom in Proverbs. And I love that. I personally love the book of Proverbs because I feel like there's so much tucked in there and man, women and mamas especially need wisdom in today's world. Really.

whether you're in the thick of raising kids, or even if you're like you and I, Pam, where our kids are out of the house and we have grandkids now, we still need wisdom. We need wisdom about how to interact with our adult kids, how to interact with our grandkids. So today we're talking about wisdom, which is just incredible. So many moms today, when they need wisdom, go to Google.

Sarah Wildman (02:31.63)
Hehehe

Becky Harling (02:48.734)
In fact, one of my daughters said to me several years ago, mom, how in the world did you raise us without Google? And I realized like the world has changed so fast. Google wasn't a thing when you and I were raising our kids, Pam, right? And so we need to go to somewhere else for wisdom. So Pam, talk to us about that a little bit. Where did you most often turn?

Tell us a little bit about the kids that you raised.

Pam Farrel (03:18.872)
Sure, sure. Yeah, I really believe that we should go to God for our wisdom. Google may or may not be accurate, especially Google doesn't personally know and love you and your children. So God loves you, God created you, God created your kids. So nobody's a better expert that can give wisdom more than our creator God. So that's like step one in getting wisdom. Even Proverbs says that.

Becky Harling (03:32.563)
Yes.

Pam Farrel (03:47.596)
God is the beginning of wisdom. So, and then mentors, people that, you know, know and love your kids, know and love you, know and love like your circumstances, maybe a part of your church or part of your life or someone in your family, people you can trust that love Jesus too. They can help you find wisdom. And you know, I needed wisdom a lot as a mom.

Pam Farrel (04:16.716)
first a youth pastor and then a lead pastor during the time we were raising our kids. And that's a whole nother dynamic right there. I needed wisdom on what is like a feral do, that's my last name, so, and what expectations, what I have on my kids, whether or not their dad was the pastor. I didn't wanna like load them up just because dad has a certain job.

I wanted them to follow Jesus because hey, that's what Jesus wants us to do is follow him. So we just need wisdom in the daily walking things out. And I had three boys, I have three boys, and Brock, Zach and Caleb, and of course all different personalities and our middle son was a challenge. ADD, ADHD, our older two were both strong willed.

God was gracious in my third born was like the easy go along. Like could take him anywhere. He'd take a nap. Everybody loved him. He had like beautiful curly hair. Yeah.

Sarah Wildman (05:15.915)
Nice.

Becky Harling (05:22.974)
to be, right? Because when you're at the end of the line, you don't have a choice. You have to go along with everybody else.

Pam Farrel (05:28.472)
Yeah, so I needed wisdom to help him find his giftedness, not be in the shadow of his older strong-willed brothers. So you know, we all need wisdom and I needed wisdom as a mom too because I didn't have any girls. And as a leader, I needed God to teach me how to encourage and shepherd the young girls of our church.

I kind of took them underneath my wings since I didn't have any daughters. I walked alongside other moms that had daughters and were feeling a bit overwhelmed.

Sarah Wildman (06:01.194)
Hmm, yeah.

Becky Harling (06:02.743)
I want to ask you one follow-up question before we move off this topic, because you mentioned going to other women that know your family. And I agree with that. However, I have heard from some younger women, yeah, well, what do I do when somebody has a really strong opinion that there's only one way to school?

you know, or there's only one way to do this. How do I handle that? So what would you tell women, younger women about?

Pam Farrel (06:28.407)
right.

Pam Farrel (06:37.24)
You know, again, we can go to the word for our wisdom, a gentle answer turns away wrath. And so just be strong, but gentle, thank them for their opinion, but you don't have to follow everybody's opinion. You know, really, it's an audience of one. We need to please God more than anybody else. And so sometimes we'll have to sit down with people that are super strong in our life and say, I love you, I value you. If I...

Don't follow every one of your recommendations. That doesn't mean I don't love you and value you, but I still do. And so thank you for being a part of my life. And I appreciate my daughter, daughter-in-law, our first daughter-in-law. She's super strong-willed in a good way. She's a vibrant leader. And my oldest son, super strong leader, like he won Arizona Coach of the Year.

He's a great leader, you know. And so they were wise enough that they took each set of grandparents out for coffee and talk to each one of us about the role that they would love to have us play in the lives of their children. And so we got to talk about boundaries. We got to talk about, you know, exactly what would be helpful to them, what would be helpful to each child. You know, so.

Becky Harling (07:54.297)
I love that.

Pam Farrel (08:04.2)
Sometimes really just honest conversation goes a long way in helping everybody have the wisdom to know how to interact with each other.

Becky Harling (08:14.698)
I love that so much. And I think, you know, I want to say to the moms that are listening, nobody knows your child as well as God. And after God, you as the parent know your child best. So what's right for your friend's child as far as school might not be correct for your child. And so we, that's where we keep going back to God in prayer, you know, to find

Pam Farrel (08:27.819)
Right.

Becky Harling (08:41.934)
what his will is for your family.

Sarah Wildman (08:46.126)
It's so true.

Pam Farrel (08:46.384)
Exactly. And you know, in my Bible study, discovering wisdom and proverbs, I do have, I share a couple of things about, you know, finding God's will and finding wisdom. I have a thing that I talk about called cupcake theology. So easy to remember, everybody loves cupcakes, right? So cupcake theology says if anybody needs wisdom, let them ask God and he'll give it liberally and generously.

Becky Harling (09:06.611)
Mm-hmm.

Pam Farrel (09:15.8)
And so picture God's wisdom is always sweet like a cupcake, even if it's corrective, his goal is to give it in a kind way, like the Holy Spirit love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, and it is generous, like that thick, yummy frosting on top of a cupcake. And so I know, I know. So next time you feed your kids or your grandkids cupcakes, just say,

Becky Harling (09:21.255)
Mm.

Becky Harling (09:37.926)
You're making us hungry.

Pam Farrel (09:44.652)
thanks God that that's how you give wisdom. You give wisdom that's sweet and generous. And so that's step one is if we have a question, like take it to God, because he promises he's gonna give us wisdom. And then I have four simple steps to find God's will. I call them the four Cs. And the first one is seek good counsel. And that's what we talked about, the Bible.

Sarah Wildman (09:57.706)
Mm-hmm. That's so true.

Pam Farrel (10:09.992)
Many plans are in a man's heart, but the counsel of the Lord will stand, says Proverbs. So go to God's Word, and second, go to people who love God's Word. In an abundance of counselors, there is victory, says Proverbs 11. So that's step one, is good counsel. Step two is listen to the Spirit's conviction. The Holy Spirit will guide us and lead us.

in the way we should go. And when we step out into something that is God's will, we're gonna see the fruit of the Spirit then. Love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, gentleness as we step out. And then ask for confirmation. And I always love this, you know, in the Bible, we get this, you know, I'm gonna lay a fleece down. And I think that God is kind. He knows when we're not testing him,

like we're trying to hear loud and clear, God, please give me a neon sign. And so he will, when we ask him, please give me a verse, please give me like, let me hear something in church today. He will do that. He'll give you a confirmation, maybe by a friend's conversation over coffee. So that is the third C of finding.

Becky Harling (11:10.204)
Yeah.

Sarah Wildman (11:12.238)
Thanks for watching!

Pam Farrel (11:32.536)
God's will. And then the last one is circumstances. Eventually the circumstances are gonna line up. And you know, sometimes we knock and we knock, we knock on a door and God holds that door closed. So we develop the character that we'll need for when he opens the door and then we walk through it. But eventually if it's God's will, he's gonna line up those circumstances as well.

Sarah Wildman (11:59.146)
really helpful, really helpful. So some of our moms, of course, know all about the book, book of Proverbs. They're like, oh, I have my favorite verse. And then there might be some moms that are listening that really aren't familiar with Proverbs. So would you step back for just a second, give us a broad brush on what the book of Proverbs is and maybe why you guys decided to tackle it in this book.

Becky Harling (11:59.19)
Hmm.

Pam Farrel (12:21.556)
Right, Jean Jones is the person that does the deep dive Bible study. I write the devotions that are inside of Discovering Wisdom and Proverbs. And then my friend Carla Dornaker, she does the art. And so we kind of have a right-left brain view of the Proverbs so that you can creatively learn. And you can also, if you're an intellectual, you can dig deep and learn as well.

Sarah Wildman (12:38.658)
Cool.

Pam Farrel (12:50.904)
And the Proverbs, I think I love about the Proverbs, and Becky and I were talking right before the show, is you can read one Proverb a day, because there's 31 of them. And it's like a nugget of goodness and wisdom for that day. And you can repeat that over and over and over again every month. It's a great thing to do as a family, to just keep the Bible in your car and have one of the kids read one of the Proverbs on the way to school. And the Proverbs,

Becky Harling (13:01.514)
Mm-hmm.

Pam Farrel (13:20.748)
they tend to be written kind of like sayings that you can remember because, you know, they're written so that they can give wisdom as you pass in a flash. So you can grab and go. That's the way the Proverbs are written, usually in groups of one or two, or sometimes it's a theme like Proverbs two, all about the Word of God and what you can find in the Word of God. And some of the other Proverbs,

It's all about like, avoid evil people. Some of the other problems are focused on, hey, if you walk righteous, I'm gonna bless you and all different verses all the way through. So I think they're easy to approach. That's why I love them for moms, because you can just grab like two sentences and it can be your theme for the day.

Sarah Wildman (14:06.939)
Mm.

Sarah Wildman (14:12.034)
totally.

Becky Harling (14:12.038)
You know, there's so many practical verses too in Proverbs. Like I was just thinking as you were talking, there are so many practical verses for your kids, even about friendship, you know, and...

and practical tips on all kinds of relationships. I mean, there's the one like, don't bless your neighbor with a loud voice in the morning. You know what I mean? That's just good people skills, right? I mean, sometimes I forget that because Steve, my husband is more of a night person. I'm more of a morning person. So I can bounce out of bed and say, good morning. And he's like not really ready for that, you know? And I have to think of proverbs, you know, where it gives good counsel on people skills. It talks about, you know,

Pam Farrel (14:34.839)
Right.

Sarah Wildman (14:38.848)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Harling (14:54.896)
There's a friend that loves closer than a brother. There's just a friend loves at all times. There's just really good people skills for your kids and for you as a mom, I think.

Pam Farrel (15:08.616)
It's true. And they're easy to remember too. When like the theme verse for discovering wisdom and Proverbs is Proverbs 13 20. Walk with the wise and you'll become wise. I mean, it's like, why should I listen to Becky's podcast? Because she's wise. And if I walk with her, I'm going to become wise like Becky. And, you know, that is just so practical to think as a mom. OK, who are my wisest friends? I want to spend more time with them this year.

Becky Harling (15:35.172)
Yes.

Pam Farrel (15:36.908)
Who are my wisest mentors? How can I weave in listening to those podcasts, reading those books? And so it's super practical that Proverbs are super.

Becky Harling (15:49.09)
Yeah. Now this is the fifth, this book Discovering Wisdom in the Proverbs, in a creative series of Bible studies. And I want you to talk to us about that a little bit because, you know, some of our mamas are listening and they're thinking, oh man, I don't have time for another Bible study. What made this different?

Pam Farrel (16:09.448)
The feedback that we're getting, and it was one of our goals, is to have a Bible study that's approachable, even if you're not like an intellect. Like, so you wanna learn the deep things of God, but maybe you're a creative. That's a little bit how I'm wired. I like to do Bible art. I call it more like Bible doodling, because I'm not like a great artist, but doodling helps me remember what's in that verse.

And so Carla, she created these beautiful coloring pages. You can Xerox them and do them with your kids. A lot of homeschool families use them. A lot of families take our Bible study on vacation. And then all the kids and grandkids will color the same verse. And that's like the theme verse for the day. And here's like a cool thing. The Bible in Genesis says, in the beginning, God created. The first five words of the Bible. So God's a creator God.

So God can create answers, God can create solutions, God can create a way forward. And because he's made, like he's creative, I think that when he says we're made in his image, he put a piece of creativity in each one of us. Now, some of us are more creative than others, I'll give you that. But here's a fun thing, that the way we're wired.

our problems are located on one side of our brain and our creativity is located on another side of our brain. So when you're being creative, whether you're painting or dancing or coloring in a color book with your grandkids, you can't think of your problems. They're blocked out. The creativity blocks it out. I'm like, yay, rescue me. I wanna do something creative. So it's a really great way

Becky Harling (17:50.026)
I love that.

Pam Farrel (18:00.012)
to deal with depression even. You know, the problems are so quick and easy that even somebody who's struggling emotionally can grab hold of a sentence. And then you add the creative element and it boosts your mood as well.

Becky Harling (18:09.31)
Mm.

Becky Harling (18:15.018)
Mm-hmm. I love that.

Sarah Wildman (18:19.031)
Awesome. So I don't think you talked about this yet, but in your book, there's simple skills that you say that we can apply to our lives. So are there a few that you would say are particularly helpful for moms that might be listening?

Pam Farrel (18:35.772)
Yeah, we do. We've been, Bill and I have taught simple skills for success, all through our ministry. And so I thought, well, that's a perfect thing to focus my devotionals on in discovering wisdom and proverbs. And it can be, there's some simple tests that you can give to help you know whether this is the way God wants you to walk. Walk in a manner worthy of your calling is, you know, what we're encouraged to do. And so one of them is,

Sarah Wildman (19:00.503)
Hmm.

Pam Farrel (19:06.204)
Is this so obvious that I'm wasting time? Like, yes, I should get out of bed. Yes, I should get dressed. Yes, I should brush my teeth and I should encourage my children to take a shower too. So some things are so obvious that you just do them. Then there's a few other things you can pre-decide. For example, you can pre-decide answers ahead of time with your husband that you know after church. Can I go to Suzy's house? Can Jimmy come over?

like you know you're gonna get certain questions always and so pre-decide what answer you're gonna give that day. You can pre-decide simple things like lattes. I'm gonna get the same kind so I don't have to think anymore. Dr. Oz, you know he's like a famous surgeon, TV, you know doctor and he has the same two breakfasts. There's only two breakfasts because he found out there these are the things that fuel me all day as a surgeon.

Becky Harling (19:53.564)
Yep.

Pam Farrel (20:03.076)
One is steel cut oatmeal with blueberries and the other one is fresh yogurt with berries and nuts. And so he pre-decided, like I'm not gonna mess around with what I eat for breakfast. And even, you know, Steve Jobs, that same black t-shirt, you know, that we always saw him and he just pre-decided his uniform for work. So there's things that we can pre-decide to lower the stress, you know, because...

Becky Harling (20:16.739)
Mm-hmm.

Sarah Wildman (20:25.506)
Mm-hmm.

Pam Farrel (20:30.98)
Studies say we have between five and six thousand decisions per day, per day. That's a lot of decisions. And so, um, if we can pre-decide some of them, it'll lower our stress. A third easy one is would I give this advice that I am going to take myself to my best friend? Like, am I treating myself like God's best friend?

Becky Harling (20:37.83)
Yeah, I believe that.

Sarah Wildman (20:40.386)
Bye.

Sarah Wildman (20:55.212)
Mmm.

Pam Farrel (20:59.56)
in the way that I'm talking to myself, in the path that I'm choosing, would this be something I would recommend to my kids or my grandkids? So you can spin any question that's about you and push it out and say, would I give this advice? Is this good advice to the people that I love? So those are simple things that you can do for simple skills for success. Little harder ones, I do have a worksheet.

Sarah Wildman (21:00.484)
Aww.

Becky Harling (21:04.574)
Hmm.

Pam Farrel (21:28.552)
It's called, Should I Stay or Should I Go? And it is when you're deciding between two really good choices. And they're both could be God's will. They're both honorable decisions. Then how do you decide? A lot of people will make a pro and con list. And they'll just like, whatever's longest, that's the way I'm going to go. But longest quantity does not replace quality.

So instead, we encourage you to make that pro and con list and then go back and mark the priorities A, B, and C. Remove all the Cs, look at the Bs, and then compare the As and see which direction God wants you to go comparing the As to the As because God wants us to live with our A priorities being the top things that we think about.

Sarah Wildman (22:08.226)
Hmm.

Pam Farrel (22:20.06)
when we make those tough decisions about whether what school our child should go to or where we should change jobs, whether we should move, etc. And simple example in our life was when we decided whether to move and care give like how are we going to care give Bill's parents they're getting older they need help. And so the first time we went through and made the pro con list. There were things like

make an apartment in our house while mom's agoraphobic and a hoarder, she's not gonna move anywhere. Then, oh, move and like move up next to them. And well, they didn't really need us full time yet. And so we said, you know, we're just gonna push pause and we'll revisit this in a year. Well, in that year Bill's dad's health went down. We knew we needed to move.

But my husband was wise enough that he said, this is a big ask. My mom is agoraphobic, she's a hoarder, she's volatile, not an easy person to be around. And I'm asking my wife to give up everything and move up to help care give for her. But Pam is like half mermaid. She loves the water. The beach is only 20 minutes away. What if we like downsize, because we're thinking about doing that anyway, and move on to a boat?

And when Bill shared that option with me, it took me like two seconds. Yes, that sounds great. Hashtag crazy fun midlife adventure. And so he was wise enough to pray when you need wisdom and then God gave that creative win-win as our next step in life.

Sarah Wildman (23:58.499)
Hmm.

Sarah Wildman (24:05.134)
Cool. Great example.

Becky Harling (24:07.194)
that. So Pam, I'm guessing that you and Bill had some key verses you went back to when you were raising your kids. So what are some of your favorite verses and proverbs and are there any that you returned to a lot when you were raising your boys?

Pam Farrel (24:27.74)
Yeah, well, one of them is what our ministry is named after. Our ministry is Lovewise. And we like to say we park ourself on the corner of God's love and God's wisdom. And Proverbs 19, eight says, those who gain wisdom love life. And so that became a priority. We all want to love our life. OK, how do we get wisdom into our kids' lives? And so I kind of focused on the.

Becky Harling (24:43.943)
Yes.

Pam Farrel (24:55.712)
the verses that connect integrity to blessing with my kids. And I have this notebook that it's black. My friend, Lisa Serunga sells them and she was a victim of sexual violence. And she studied God's word and wrote in white pen in a black notebook to write her way to light again out of darkness. And I just like, that is so cool.

Becky Harling (25:07.847)
Yeah.

Becky Harling (25:13.579)
Mm.

Sarah Wildman (25:23.435)
Wow.

Pam Farrel (25:25.384)
So that's where I keep my verses that I want to remind my kids and my grandkids. Like blessings are on the head of the righteous, Proverbs 10, 6. Whoever walks in integrity walks securely, Proverbs 13, 9. Whoever heeds instruction is on the path to life, Proverbs 10. So I just kept those verses about integrity.

in front of my kids at all times. And that was kind of our, we did have a family motto. It wasn't out of Proverbs, but it's out of 1 Samuel, those who honor God, God honors. And so before they left the house, I would say those who honor God and they would repeat back God honors. And that's how they made their decisions. What would honor God? We taught them to check in with their GPS. Does this?

Becky Harling (25:54.898)
Mmm.

Becky Harling (26:06.218)
Hmm.

Pam Farrel (26:20.388)
decision show honor to G God, P people, S self. And if you got a green light on that GPS, then that's the direction to head.

Becky Harling (26:32.189)
Mm.

Sarah Wildman (26:34.23)
So good. So what would you say are one or two must memorize verses for moms? From Proverbs. I won't say the whole Bible. From Proverbs.

Pam Farrel (26:41.596)
Oh, wow. One or two. Yes. Yeah, one or two. This is one that is sweet that I love as a mom. It's Proverbs 11 25. A generous woman will prosper. She who refreshes others will herself be refreshed. And so a lot of times we moms were like, we feel so wrung out, but.

Sarah Wildman (26:51.253)
Yeah.

Becky Harling (27:03.978)
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Pam Farrel (27:10.048)
Verses like that remind us that God sees us, God knows us, and that if we pour out, God will pour in and He'll tell us what will be refreshing to us. Like, hey, it's okay to sit down with your Bible right now and a tall glass of iced tea and take 10. So He'll nurture us. So that's.

That's one of my favorite. In fact, there's a lot of verses about generosity in Proverbs. So just having a generous heart towards your kids, towards your family, towards your parents, towards the church, God really honors that. Be generous and you will prosper. Help others and you will be helped. So those are fun ones, but I have to say Proverbs 31. Ah!

Becky Harling (27:39.986)
Mm-hmm.

Pam Farrel (28:01.168)
don't you don't have to memorize the whole chapter but Proverbs 31 is definitely one of my favorite and I think it's because it promises that if we you know walk in wisdom and the Proverbs 31 woman I love her because when you read through Proverbs 31 every one of the verses has a verb in it.

Sarah Wildman (28:01.662)
Really? Ha ha ha.

Pam Farrel (28:27.24)
She's a woman of action. She rises, she sells, she makes, she cooks, she gives. So they're all action. And I personally like that, that there's a blessing in being a woman of action. And the blessing is that her husband will be known at the gates, so that's a good thing. He'll do well, maybe get a raise, maybe do well at his job, maybe just be happy in the home and be helpful in the home.

Becky Harling (28:30.154)
Mm-hmm.

Pam Farrel (28:57.128)
and then your children will rise up and bless you. And I'm like, I lived for that. I lived for that day, you know? Because some days you get that small blessing of, you know, mom, I picked this flower for you. And then other days, your married son calls on Mother's Day and said, hey, mom, we just went to this prayer conference and we had to draw a family tree and then write down the sins that so easily beset our family.

Sarah Wildman (29:02.446)
Yeah.

Becky Harling (29:10.129)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Harling (29:25.706)
Hmm

Pam Farrel (29:27.076)
And what are those patterns that we would want to break? And then take a highlighter. And if your parents did the hard work of breaking the cycle of dysfunction, put a highlight on that sin, because it's been moved from darkness to light. And he called the strong football player. He's sobbing. He's like, Mom and Dad, it was like a Christmas tree. It lit.

Becky Harling (29:37.91)
Mm-hmm.

Becky Harling (29:45.97)
Mm.

Becky Harling (29:50.172)
No.

Pam Farrel (29:54.168)
And you have done so much to move our family from darkness to light, from dysfunction to health, from toxic to healthy. I just had to call and thank you for doing that because I've lived free and my kids live free because you and dad did the hard work. We were the first generation Christians in our family. I tell you, I can replay that rise up and bless you moment every year at Mother's Day. It was all worth it.

Becky Harling (29:59.434)
Mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

Becky Harling (30:22.402)
No kidding. Yeah, no kidding. I love that so much. Pam, we are almost out of time. I wish we actually had longer. I really want to encourage our listeners to get this creative devotional experience because some of you probably like to color and there's all kinds of coloring pages in here. It's just very different than most other Bible studies. But

Sarah Wildman (30:24.407)
Wow.

Pam Farrel (30:48.119)
Right.

Becky Harling (30:49.33)
Tell our mamas where they can get in touch with you, where they can follow you, how they can get the study. Yeah. How they can connect with you.

Pam Farrel (30:57.632)
I would love them to go to love-wise, love-wise. And there's lots of freebies there, lots of blogs, lots of parenting resources. So I'm going to send Becky some mommy resources and just use the friend code 3, and they'll be free for the moms. And then anywhere that books are sold.

If you want it quick, you go to Amazon. If you want to save a little bit, you go to Christian Book. If you want it signed by the authors, you can go to Lovewise.

Becky Harling (31:32.05)
I love that so much, Pam. I feel like you gave us so many practical tips in this. Thank you, because I think moms today are often confused, you know? And so remember some of these points that Pam made, you know, go back to God first. Yes, surround yourself by wise women.

but test what they say before God, you know? Get into the book of Proverbs, stress integrity in your home. So many great principles in this simple podcast. And so we hope that you enjoyed it today and we hope that you're gonna join us again next week for another episode of the Connected Mom podcast where we'll have another guest who will help you connect more deeply with God.

more empathically with your fellow moms and more intentionally with your child. Before we completely say goodbye, Pam, would you just close us in prayer today?

Pam Farrel (32:31.108)
I would love to. Lord, thank you so much that you promise that if any of us lack wisdom that you'll give it to us generously like that sweet cupcake with great frosting on top. So God, I pray that you would help us this week as moms, as grandmoms, to seek you, the giver of wisdom.

Becky Harling (32:37.855)
Hmm.

Pam Farrel (32:54.5)
And I pray that you would give us wisdom when we need it and what we need for our kids, for our grandkids, for our friendships, for our marriage. Lord, thank you that Proverbs is full of practical tips, just one line instruction that we can hang our heart on and have hope. So Lord, get us into the book of Proverbs this week, help us find a verse to hang our heart on to have that hope and help that we.

desperately want and need as moms. Lord, thank you that you're our creator God and you can always create a way forward in our lives. In Jesus' name, amen.

Becky Harling (33:33.502)
Amen. Hey, we'll see you next week for another episode, friends. Thanks for joining us today.

Pam Farrel (33:40.332)
God bless.