Speaking Your Brand: Public Speaking Tips and Strategies

Is there a story you’re reluctant to share? The one that still makes you cringe a little, that feels raw and vulnerable? That’s probably the exact story you should be telling - not just for your audience, but for yourself. In this episode, I’m...

Show Notes

Is there a story you’re reluctant to share? The one that still makes you cringe a little, that feels raw and vulnerable?

That’s probably the exact story you should be telling - not just for your audience, but for yourself.

In this episode, I’m joined by Diane Diaz, and we’re pulling back the curtain on our own stories - the ones we’ve hesitated to share.

We talk a lot about storytelling in public speaking, thought leadership, and keynotes, but let’s be honest: we often default to the safer stories. You know, the ones about career missteps, lessons learned, or professional challenges. But what about the deeply personal stories? The ones that shaped who we are?

Diane and I each share a story we’ve been reluctant to tell - stories tied to our self-worth, identity, and fears.

We unpack how these experiences have influenced our careers, our approach to public speaking, and even the way we show up in the world.

In this episode, you’ll hear:

  • Why the stories that scare you the most are the ones that will connect the deepest with your audience

  • How childhood experiences still shape the way we think about ourselves (and what to do about it)

  • Why leaning into imperfection and vulnerability makes you a more compelling speaker

  • How to balance preparation and spontaneity in your speaking style (Diane and I approach this very differently!)

  • A behind-the-scenes look at our own speaking journeys, including what we’ve learned from our clients

 

This episode was filmed in one of the beautiful studios on the campus of Full Sail University, where Diane and I have been teaching business and marketing classes since 2009.

Watch the video episode at https://youtu.be/WoIk1kK1a8c

Show notes at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/425/ 

Discover your Speaker Archetype by taking our free quiz at https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/quiz/

Enroll in our Thought Leader Academy: https://www.speakingyourbrand.com/academy/ 

Connect on LinkedIn:

Related Podcast Episodes:

 

What is Speaking Your Brand: Public Speaking Tips and Strategies?

It's time to escape the expert trap and become an in-demand speaker and thought leader through compelling and memorable business presentations, keynotes, workshops, and TEDx talks. If you want to level up your public speaking to get more and better, including paid, speaking engagements, you've come to the right place! Thousands of entrepreneurs and leaders have learned from Speaking Your Brand and now you can too through our episodes that will help you with storytelling, audience engagement, building confidence, handling nerves, pitching to speak, getting paid, and more. Hosted by Carol Cox, entrepreneur, speaker, and TV political analyst. This is your place to learn how to persuasively communicate your message to your audience.

Carol Cox:
We are walking our talk,

and we're sharing the stories that we've been

most reluctant to share so that we can role

model storytelling and vulnerability for you,

on this episode of the Speaking Your Brand

podcast. More and more women are making an

impact by starting businesses,

running for office and speaking up for what

matters. With my background as a TV political

analyst, entrepreneur,

and speaker, I interview and coach purpose

driven women to shape their brands,

grow their companies, and become recognized

as influencers in their field.

This is speaking your brand,

your place to learn how to persuasively

communicate your message to your audience.

Hi, I'm Carol Cox and welcome to Speaking

Your Brand. Joined by Diane Diaz.

Hi, Diane.

Diane Diaz:
Hi, Carol.

Carol Cox:
So we're going to get into our own stories

that we have been reluctant to share,

that we haven't really shared, and we have

shared quite a bit on the Speaking Your Brand

podcast and the work that we do and the

Thought Leader Academy with our clients,

because we're very open and we want a role

model, this idea of storytelling and

vulnerability. But there's always a few

stories that are like a little like naked

still kind of cringe a little bit,

but they're so revealing because they show

the personal growth and the journey that

we've been on, which is exactly why we

encourage the women that we work with to do

the same. And we talk a lot about

storytelling and how storytelling is such an

essential ingredient for thought leadership,

for public speaking, keynotes,

TEDx talks.

But oftentimes we're like,

okay, sure, I'll pull a story from my career

or from a workplace situation that had that

happened, I got demoted in my first job,

or I didn't get the job of my dreams that I

really wanted. So I'll tell that story.

And those stories are fine. Like there's

definitely a place for them.

But then there's those personal stories,

the ones that you really still feel.

And those are the ones where I feel like so

much of the speaker comes to life.

Don't you think?

Diane Diaz:
I do. I think we often play it safe,

you know, we play it safe in a lot of ways,

right? Not just storytelling. So it makes

sense that we're sort of protecting ourselves

by just telling safe stories.

Stories from our careers or.

And it may have even been a failure.

Something that you experienced in your

career, but it's relatively safe.

And it's also businessy.

Right. Rather than diving into the personal

stuff because it feels really vulnerable to

tell those personal stories,

because you feel very exposed.

And I can understand where it's a challenge

to want to tell those stories.

Carol Cox:
Well, we feel like people are going to judge

us or look at us as weak or incompetent or

incapable, like, oh my gosh,

how could she have done that?

Or how could she have made that decision?

I've talked on the podcast about speaking

engagements that I've done that did not go

the way that I wanted them to.

And when I first, I remember when I first

decided to tell that story in an episode,

I was like, oh my gosh, is anyone ever going

to want to hire me as their coach?

I had a bad speaking engagement,

but then like, well, but then if you never

have any failures, even in the work that you

do, your expertise, how can you teach someone

else? Or how can you understand maybe where

they're getting stuck or what their fears

are?

Diane Diaz:
Yeah, no, it makes sense that we would sort

of hedge our bets there and share only the

safe stories, because we don't want to be

judged and we don't we don't want to have

clients say, well, then why would I work with

you? And this has come up with clients before

where they've wanted or had stories that

maybe showed how they didn't handle the

situation very well, that actually had to do

with the work that they do.

And then I really try to encourage them.

No, you have to tell that story.

Carol Cox:
Because I feel like the audience members who

hear that the ones who really like absorb it,

are the ones who need to hear that in that

moment. I oftentimes tell the women that we

work with that you don't know who's in your

audience, whatever message you're sharing

with them. They could have heard a similar

message twice before, but maybe it was ten

years ago and they weren't ready to hear it

or didn't land for them in that way.

They weren't in a certain stage in their

life, and all of a sudden they hear you say

it the way that you say it with your

perspective and the reason that it matters to

you, and it clicks for them.

Does it have to click for every single person

in the audience just for those people who it

is? Therefore, as we say, you are the

messenger for your message and your story and

those those people in the audience are

waiting for that.

Diane Diaz:
Yeah. And I like what you say is that if

there's a story that you're reluctant to

share, that is probably the story that you

need to share, because there's a reason why

you're reluctant to share it.

And however you feel about that and the

reason that's keeping you from sharing it,

that is what the audience members are going

to identify with because they have been there

too. Maybe not the exact same story,

but something similar,

a similar situation.

And that's going to encourage them,

right, to open up and to tap into whatever it

is that you're sharing with them.

Carol Cox:
So are we ready? Yeah.

You want to go first?

Diane Diaz:
Sure. Okay.

So we so we were talking before recording

this. And so a story that I really have never

shared. I mean, I've shared it with close

personal connections and friends,

but I don't share it widely because it is,

of course, it's, you know, it's not

embarrassing, but it feels very vulnerable

and raw and open.

Is that when I was younger and I was in

school, my sister was two years older than

me, and she was excelling in all these,

you know, academics, and she was in

academically talented students programs and

things. And I remember,

you know, so I'm two years behind her, so I'm

learning things after her. But I had a hard

time learning how to tell time.

It took me a really long time to learn how to

tell time. And this was before digital

watches, right? So like it was really hard

for me. It also took me a long time to learn

how to do my multiplication tables.

And I remember I remember another situation

where so my sister had been tested and tested

gifted or whatever, and they at the same age

that she was when she was tested, they my

parents had me tested.

And all I remember is just my mom and the

teacher sort of looking at the results and

like shaking their heads like.

So I thought, well, I must be dumb.

Like, I mean, obviously it's hard for me to

learn how to tell time I can't.

I'm having a struggling with times tables and

now they've tested me. So there's clear

evidence that I am dumb.

And I think I must have been eight,

nine, ten years old.

What it does for me is it makes me work a

gajillion times harder than anyone else.

Carol Cox:
Well, Diane, first, thank you for sharing

that. You're smart, like you put things

together. You know, you like,

you connect, you know, connect the dots

between different things. Obviously, the work

that we do with our clients and taking a

three hour VIP day, they basically brain dump

all of their ideas and stories and concepts

and ideas for frameworks.

And then you map it all out and our framework

and but like you said,

like the coping side of it was,

I'm going to work extra hard. I'm going to

study extra hard to make sure that in your

mind that you keep up with everything else.

And so thinking about how this could apply to

a broader message that you would share,

maybe in a keynote type of talk.

What like what lessons would you draw for the

audience to take that personal story and then

take it to the universal lesson.

Yeah, I.

Diane Diaz:
Think the lesson is that even if there's a

not a negative, but even if there's something

about yourself or something that you're

struggling with or have struggled with or

that's always, always kind of there,

whatever that thing is that what you might

consider a personal like struggle?

There is a flip side to that,

right? There is another side of that coin,

right. And so what is the other side of that

coin? So whatever the thing is that you're

struggling with, look on the other side to

see what is the benefit of that.

Right. Because I have developed mechanisms

that help me.

Like I always joke that I'm not a

procrastinator. I'm a procrastinator.

I do things way before they're due,

and that is because I need to feel prepared

in order to feel like I am not succumbing to

me thinking that I am not smart,

right? Like I need to do everything ahead of

time. So then I feel really prepared and that

makes me feel I'm smart,

right? So look at the other side of the coin

and see what is there.

There's probably an opportunity.

Carol Cox:
It's so funny, Diane, because you and I are

alike in so many ways we joke about that we

have the same brain.

Yet we also are very different when it comes

to this, because you are the procrastinator

and I am not at all.

And I know it probably makes you crazy

sometimes where I'm like, okay,

let's just go do a presentation tomorrow.

Wait, what? And you're like, what? What are

we doing? Like, okay, I'll just show up and

I'm sure it'll be great,

but I try to take some of that

procrastination from you.

And I'm like, okay, like, what can I do to

prepare ahead of time?

I like the just in time nature of what I do.

I think it maybe just keeps me more

interested in what I'm doing.

But then I also realize that sometimes I

think I'm going to have enough time, but then

surprise! Something comes up and ruins my

schedule, and then I'm scrambling at the last

minute. So you know.

Diane Diaz:
What I would say the other lesson than what

you know, you mentioned. What could the

audience take away from this conversation is

that find people who sort of balance you out.

And so to that point, like you take that from

me about the procrastination,

but I also have learned to lighten up a

little bit. And I don't have to be super

prepared because sometimes just going with it

actually ends up in a better result.

Right. So you have to kind of trust the

process, but find people who naturally kind

of align with you and help you complement

each other. Right. And I think that's what

we've done. But that does help with whatever

each of your strengths and weaknesses are.

Carol Cox:
Yeah, absolutely. Well,

I'm thinking about even talks back when you

started delivering talks and when you had the

brand teacher and I would help you and I know

you would prepare.

Diane Diaz:
In advance months ahead and have.

Carol Cox:
All your slides and your slide notes and your

outline. And then we started working together

and speaking your brand. I'm like, no, we're

just going to go do it. Yeah.

I'm like.

Diane Diaz:
All right, I don't have anything prepared,

but let's figure it out.

Yeah.

Carol Cox:
And we do. And then I know that there's been

times where the slides don't work because of

whatever reason, and it's actually ended up

being a better experience for the audience

and for us as the presenters.

Just to really get back to the storytelling

aspects of what we do.

Diane Diaz:
Yeah, absolutely. I think when you rely too

much on the preparation,

I think you take away some of that

spontaneity that might add flavor to it.

So I've tried to lean more into that.

And so to anybody watching this,

I would say, you know,

try not to be so prepared that you actually

prepare yourself right out of any interesting

or spontaneous content.

Carol Cox:
Yes, absolutely. Because you know who is

prepared. The AI.

That's right. That's right.

So we have to.

Diane Diaz:
Distinguish.

Carol Cox:
Ourselves from that and be much more human

and be imperfect and embrace the

imperfections that we have.

Speaking of imperfections,

so the story that I've been reluctant to

share, that I really have never shared with

hardly anyone except for my husband,

Ed, probably, and my mom is back when I was

in seventh grade, 12 years old.

I remember that I had to find a new group of

girls to sit with at lunch because my best

friend, who had been best friends with since

third grade, we would have lunch together.

But that semester or that year in school,

we were in different lunch periods. So like,

she was my safety blanket.

Right. And so I would sit with her and

everything was fine.

But for this year I didn't.

And so I had these group,

this group of girls that I knew we were in

class together, but I didn't really know them

well, never went over to their house like we

didn't have sleepovers, so I kind of knew

them, but didn't really. But I remember I

would sit with them at lunch and there was

one day I can actually picture the lunchroom,

you know, the round lunch tables and the

plastic chairs sitting around it.

And there were there were probably 3 or 4

girls and me and, and it's like,

almost like a dream where it's kind of like

blurry and stuff and they're like,

Carol, we don't want to sit with you at lunch

anymore.

Diane Diaz:
Oh, no.

Carol Cox:
And I was just like, I can still feel it.

I was like, I was devastated.

I don't know if I asked them questions or I'm

very conflict avoidant,

so I probably didn't ask them anything.

I don't know what happened.

I don't know if I did something,

they did something. Obviously at that age,

you're probably not very good at

relationships and conflict resolution and

talking things out.

So I was like, okay, like I don't know what

else to do. And I remember there maybe that

was the beginning of the week, and for the

next few days, I had to sit by myself.

Diane Diaz:
Oh, no.

Carol Cox:
And you know what that's like in middle

school, especially, like you feel like

everyone's eyes are on you.

Everyone's looking at you like, what's wrong

with you? And I'll never forget it must have

been a day or two after I'd been sitting by

myself and another girl named.

Her name is Kathy Castro.

I'll never forget her name and what she

looked like. She was this cool girl.

She had, like, this short, really kind of

edgy haircut.

And I knew her again.

We had a class together, but I didn't know

her well. And she must have seen me by

myself. Maybe I was crying,

I don't know, I'm known to cry. So I could

have been probably just very sad looking.

And she came to me and she said,

Carol, do you want to sit together for lunch?

And I was so grateful for her.

I don't know if I had the words at that age

to like, tell her how much that meant to me.

I was embarrassed enough as it was, but I

remember she sat with me and you know,

we would talk and what have you.

And I really do need to look her up on

Facebook to find out what happened to her and

just and thank her even all these years. So

the story that I've been telling myself since

that incident, probably things before and

after that had happened to me,

is that I'm not likable,

that people are not going to like me for who

I am or how I show up.

So kind of like putting on this facade,

right? Like, okay. Like I look good,

I look presentable.

And so I feel like that has obviously shown

up so much in my career where there has been

like people pleaser or those perfectionist

tendencies working.

Diane Diaz:
On a talk and or anything that you're

creating and thinking about incorporating

your stories, bring out those harder stories

because I think it would be beneficial to

your audience, but I think it'll be

beneficial for you as well.

On sort of along the lines of healing.

Carol Cox:
Oh, absolutely. I do think that talking about

our stories is is very healing.

And like I always say, it's in service to the

audience. And you have to know that whatever

you're sharing, that story, you're sharing

with the audience is going to benefit them.

And there's a larger lesson that you want to

share or it ties back to your talk.

They're not there as your personal therapist,

right? You don't want TMI information to

them. But at the same time,

I know we also get a lot of questions from

our clients that say, well, but what if I

tear up when I'm sharing that particular

story, because I still do feel it.

And we're like, that's that's fine. It's

normal. It's human to still feel emotional

about it because you, you're always probably

going to have that kind of muscle memory,

that body memory of it.

But you but you should be past the story

enough that you can share it in a meaningful

way and tie it back to your larger message.

Diane Diaz:
So I think digging into these deeper stories

to find ways to let other sides of yourself

come out is not only helpful to the audience,

but I think it lets you bring your whole self

to the work that you do.

Carol Cox:
So we've shared kind of these reluctant,

heartfelt stories about ourselves when we

were young and how it has shaped us.

So maybe in the next episode we can bring out

more of this fun, funny,

personable aspects of our personality.

Yeah. So stay tuned for our next episode

where maybe Diane will do part of her comedy

set for us, I don't know.

Impromptu. We shall see.

Until next time.

Thanks for watching.