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[00:00:00] Today on the Carolina Women's Collective podcast, I am joined by Mary Cheatham King. Mary Cheatham is the founder and owner of Mary Cheatham King Real Estate in Moorhead City. which serves Carteret County and the Crystal Coast. But before I jump into the questions, I want to list a few of Mary Cheatham's amazing stats with you.
So she has been Carteret County's top real estate team since 2017. Top 10 regionally for Keller Williams. Top 100 in the world for Keller Williams. She has a Google [00:01:00] 5 star rating, which is, I don't think I've ever seen that anywhere else, with over 700 5 star reviews. Absolutely amazing. Plus, your MCKRE Gives initiative has now donated and raised over four hundred and forty thousand dollars since 2020.
So, welcome to the podcast, Mary Cheatham. I'm so excited to have you here. Thank you, Booth. I'm glad to be here. This is so fun. I'm just so excited about what you guys are building for women and loved being a part of your event and So appreciate being asked to share here today. Thank you. Yes. Well, we are so excited to have you.
I know everyone wants to hear about how you go about doing all these amazing things. So I'm going to jump right in and we want to hear your story and your house. So if I recall correctly, real estate. was not your original plan when you went to college. So tell us a little about what you [00:02:00] had originally intended to do for your career and then how that focus shifted into real estate.
Oh gosh. You know, I, I, I guess for a long time, I really thought that I was going to be a lawyer. My dad's a lawyer. Um, and so, you know, I went to a liberal arts school and I went to Chapel Hill. Um, and I majored in Southern studies. Which was really cool. It's history, anthropology, literature, and sociology of the South.
And so, um, just really, really cool stuff, but it didn't really lead to, um, you know, a job. There was no clear, no clear job path there. And so, um, I ended up marrying my high school, sweetheart chip and coming down here, he was in the boat industry and, um, just realized that I needed a job. And so kind of called around to some different real estate firms.
My mom, it was actually my mom's idea. My mom said, why don't you, why don't you do something in real estate? And so I called [00:03:00] around with some different real estate firms, some kind of smaller firms around here and ended up, um, speaking with Harriet Gruber at Canon and Gruber. And, um, she said, sure, you know, why don't you come on in?
And so ended up interviewing there and taking a job kind of as an office assistant. So this was back in the day when, you know, I had like a little digital camera and I was the one who would, I could go out and take photos of properties or help write MLS copy or, um, gosh, this was back when there were books, like, like there was an MLS book.
Because people, a lot of people didn't have computers, you know, so that, you know, so that that way you could pick up an MLS book and flip through and see what was available. How antiquated is that? I mean, right. Can you imagine that that was how we used to operate? And the little, the MLS sheets, the sheets you would give somebody, you would actually print the photos and then take the photo to the sheet.
Anyway, anyway, I don't know what to say, but it was, you know, so that was my job. That was my first, [00:04:00] well, I worked in Raleigh before I moved down here, but when I got married and really needed a, a, you know, a job down here, I was a 23. And so I was an office assistant at Canon and Gruber. All right. That's a, that's interesting.
A little path there. Um, so once you started there and it obviously just evolved, And you made your mark and got a, you have a very respected name in the area for the real estate industry. So when you launched your own firm, you created a business model that is a bit different than a lot of firms. Real estate agents kind of follow.
So can you explain what your model is and where did you have the idea to set your business up with that model? Yeah. Okay. So, um, so, yes, it did evolve from there. And so I was with. great boutique firm on the island for years. Um, as an agent, you know, I got my license and so I [00:05:00] went from being an assistant to being an agent and loved that.
And then really the, the credit for the, the basis of the model goes to Keller Williams. So, um, you know, Keller Williams is the biggest real estate agency in the world, biggest real estate company in the world, but they don't really advertise. They let their agents. Put their name first, and then you can kind of be backed by Keller Williams, or you can leave with the fact that you are a KW agent.
Um, so it really attracted my attention because it let me build a boutique brand while having some infrastructure and so to your point the way that they teach you the model that they share is essentially that In real estate, certainly one agent can represent the buyer and the seller. And that's that actually, in a lot of ways, y'all know that can get a bad rap.
It's pretty great because then you understand what's important to the buyer, what's important to the seller. It's very clear what you can and can't share. I mean, as long as you have a strong moral compass and understand the rules, it's, it's, it's really can be [00:06:00] very effective. However, what they teach you is that when you're scaling.
And growing a business that what you really want to do is to divide your business into a listing team who works with sellers specifically and a buyer team who works with buyers specifically. Um, so we do, we have listing agents and we have buyer's agents. And they're actually really different skill sets that you need to work with sellers and to work with buyers.
Um, once you really get into it. And so, um, that has just worked incredibly well for us. One of the things I want to point out, um, to anybody who's following a model or following a system is I think one of the things that worked really well for us is that we followed their direction. So for example, booth, it says things like, okay, As, as the, as the agent, as the founder, as the person who's, who's starting this business, you want to work with buyers and sellers.
And what you want to do first is to create an administrative team. So you need to have at least two [00:07:00] admin before you can hire an agent. Right? Because what leverage, what are you offering to an agent if they don't have administrative help? Right? So, so you have to start that admin team first. And then the first thing that you do is you hire a buyer's agent, somebody who helps you with buyers.
And then you grow from there and you hire somebody else with sellers. So it gives you a basic outline. But what it also does is if you follow that model, then it gives you the right to add on your own personality and your own Um, your own identity. It lets you really, um, stray from that model some once you've got the foundation set.
And I just want to point that out because I think a mistake that that some people make and I've seen people make it trying to follow the KW model is that they try and deviate from the model before they've got their systems really set up. So you've got to have a stable base before you can start to deviate and to really make it your own.
That is very interesting. And I like the way you said you could put your own identity on it because Thanks, guys. For anyone listening who's [00:08:00] not local and isn't familiar with you, your personal brand is what the community knows, not the Keller Williams specifically behind it. So that's really interesting the way you talked about putting your own identity on it and speaking of your team.
So you have a really great team and it's, Pretty big these days. So what are some tips, um, or things you learned along the way of growing a team, hiring, training that team, and just making it cohesive with your, um, Your purpose and mission with your business. God, that is that is a really good question. And so I want to start by saying I am certainly not an expert, and I've gotten plenty of things wrong.
So what I can tell you are the things that I've learned that work. And I think, um, you know, with a team like ours, I think, first of all, culture. Is, is such a huge part of it. If, if you're growing a team and somebody is not a cultural fit, they're [00:09:00] really just not a fit. It's not going to work. Right. Um, what we have, of course we have agents and then we have an administrative team.
So we've chosen to be very administratively heavy because I want it to feel like a boutique firm. I want our clients to feel like they're our only client. I want to make sure that we are available to handle every need that they have. Um, some Keller Williams folks, and frankly, the Keller Williams model is not that.
It's to be very agent heavy. So we have, um, fewer agents and far more admin. Um, but what I'll say is that the admin, the administrative team, they're the keepers of our culture. They're the, they're the backbone of what we do. And so I think always keeping that in the forefront, you know, it's, it's really important.
Um, and I think that some of the, some of the, the tips that I've gotten that I'm not necessarily always followed Booth, but that I know when I do. It, it is, uh, it works, which is to be really slow to hire, right? I mean, I think people have one interview with somebody and they hire them and then they wonder why [00:10:00] they're not the right fit.
Um, I mean, it's, it's a joke with us. I mean, we, we, I would say before somebody joins our team, they probably have six to eight interviews. Um, so it's, it's very labor intensive and it's worth it because it means that you end up with people who really are the right people. I think that's, um. That's a big one is, is being slow, slow to build it slow to hire.
I think not over hiring on the front end and making sure, you know, it, it, it feels like there's constantly a hole in your boat, but I think if you can get comfortable with that, that that's the sustainable way to build something, right? We didn't go out and hire 25 people to start with. It's, it's adding people.
As you need them, the easiest way to do that is to always have a bench, always have a bench of people that you would hire people that you've met, you know, kind of keep a log of people that you think could be a good fit so that when a need arises, you're ahead of the game. But I think, um, that's [00:11:00] another really big one, um, is being slow to, to build and very purposeful and understanding that it's going to be a little bit painful while you're building it.
Um, and then, you know, I think once I would say. One thing that's been hard is that what got you to one stage in your business won't get you to the next one. And I think that's something people don't expect and don't really think about. You know, I, I will tell you, I didn't set out thinking this is what I want to build.
I set out thinking, gosh, I'm really busy and I'd like some help. You know, and so then you hire one person and then you're like, oh man, we're still really busy. You know? So, so, you know, I, I, you know, I wonder Booth, I wonder about this. I don't know. I wonder what you think about this. I feel like if I were a man that I would've said, alright, this is what I, this is what I'm gonna build.
You know, I would have had the vision from the beginning and, and maybe not. Maybe that's incorrect, I don't know. But that's the way I feel about it, is just [00:12:00] that I think I came, came at it from a very kind of. Um, intuitive, what's the next thing in front of me? What's the next thing in front of me? Which I think has its strengths also doing it that way.
But, um, you know, so I think as you're going from, from phase to phase, realizing that, you know, you, it's not going to have the same feel. Internally, you know what I mean? I mean, you know, we used to all, they were, there were five of us and we would sit on the floor in my office and order a pizza and, and sit around and figure out whatever the problem was.
We can't do that anymore. So it's figuring out what, then what are the ways that you keep the culture intact? What are the ways that you keep yourself accessible? Um, what are the ways that you empower other people to carry your culture so that it's not you? You're not the carrier of it, but everybody on your team helps to do that and to make sure that it stays alive and strong.
And so I think that's one of the biggest things is that your mindset and your skill set as a leader have to evolve as you're building it. Which [00:13:00] takes some. It can be humbling. Yeah. Well, and you can't be super controlling and, you know, um, tunnel vision. So, so to speak. So, um, and I think motherhood may may help with that because you never know what you're going to get with kids.
So what a great, um, you know, that's a great adaptability and flexibility. Um, that's exactly right. And being willing to try something and then to say that didn't work, right. And making sure that the people around you are comfortable saying. Hey, this isn't working right and I mean it when your team is able to tell you that that that no You know, you have a great team that is communicating when you're at that level.
So very very insightful and speaking of your team, they're obviously very Focus on that client experience. Um, the five star Google rating is still just mind blowing. So does your team have a specific process they follow for the client experience [00:14:00] they deliver, or is it a little fluid based, um, depending on the customer's needs?
What a great question. There's there's a process in place. For our, our listing clients, our sellers. And there's a process in place for our, for our buyer clients, for our buyers. So yes, there's very much a process that we follow. Um, it is very much our ethos. I mean, our, our, our whole thing, my whole thing is, you know, you're getting in the trenches with somebody and you're helping somebody through, you know, they're either buying or selling a tremendous.
Financial asset, right? At, at it just, if you take it at face value, not to mention that oftentimes there's so much emotion tied up in it. If it's full time, if it's a second home, you know, it's, it's all of those things that you've got to be. Really cognizant of and make sure that that you're, you know, from, from the agents to the administrative team that you're ready to really jump in with these folks and be there for them and help kind of shepherd them through it.
So, [00:15:00] um, I think that's, that's a part of it is, is the systems don't necessarily account for that. Right? And that's where it comes down to culture. So anybody can follow a system, but you've really got to care and be able to be creative and figure out what's the solution for these folks. What did they need during this time?
I, um, I read, I wish I could think maybe, you know, was I read, I don't know if this happens to you. I'll read a book and then I forget what the book was called and who wrote it. And you know, but I, but I have like some key takeaways. And one of the books that I read was it was the guy who was the manager for, I think it was the Ritz hotel chain.
Anyway, and, and, and the point is, it might've been the four seasons y'all. But the point is, one of the things he said was that every single person, okay, at his hotel from the housekeeping staff on up are empowered to spend up to a set amount. It might've been 500 to make any guests happy. Is that that unreasonable hospitality book?
Maybe, maybe, I don't [00:16:00] know. Did he go into the restaurant? Yes, that might be it. I think Will, I can't pronounce his last name, Ghidara is his name, something like that. Okay. I and I, okay, and I'll, I'll, and I'll find that. Yeah. And I'll, so you can put it in the show notes, but, but that was the takeaway, which I thought was like, oh, wow.
So everybody knows you don't, you don't need to come to me to ask permission to, to fix something for somebody. You know? I mean, figure out whatever it is in your business that people are empowered to do and say, just fix it. The most important thing is that that person who's speaking to you on the phone at that point in time or sitting in front of you and they say, this is a problem.
You need to say. I'll handle it. No problem. So I think that that's a really big, that's a part of our system, so to speak. But to your point, it's a part that has a lot of flow. And so I think the key to all of that is making sure that you're clear on what, what are you trying to deliver? What are your values and can people do what they need to do to deliver on it?
And that has like a twofold, um, approach there because you're giving the customer, the clients, uh, the best experience, but you're also empowering [00:17:00] your employees, which is a morale booster big time. Yes, yes, that's very, very interesting that you kind of follow that same model, but it it's definitely putting the client first.
Um, yes, and making them feel like they can do that. It's yeah, they've got to be able to put they can act on it or else. Yeah, it's just words, right? They don't want to be like, oh, let me go find Mary Cheetham and I'll get back to you. Right. Right. That's, that is great. That is great. Empowering your team. So with your team, you've got to make a lot of decisions, both for the business, your team, yourself.
How do you approach decision making and risk taking? Wow. What a question. Okay. Well, agonizer. So any decision. I know. I know. I'm really trying not to be. Um, but when I approach decision making, I would say, um, [00:18:00] when it's decision making for the team, one of the things I really try to do is think about who is this going to impact the most and who already has this information.
Right. If I'm making decisions about a part of the team that I don't have my hands in it every day, I've got to go and talk to the people who do. So I think that that's one of the biggest things is making sure that I have the most relevant information, both in terms of who is it going to impact moving forward and who has the answers to what the need really is.
And, you know, already who's already got their got their hands in this. Um, so I think that's a big thing. And then I think from a risk standpoint, um. You know, I mean, I think the biggest risk that you take in a business like real estate, I mean, we don't have a floor plan of inventory, you know, think about it when I don't, I don't own a store full of furniture, you know, I don't, I don't, you know what I mean?
I don't have materials that I'm trying to sell that I own. So to me, a lot of the biggest risks that we take, frankly, it's in the hiring process. And so, again, I think it's really slowing down to speed up. [00:19:00] And really taking your time with those things that are because it's not just risky in terms of finances.
I mean, sure, it's risky to spend the money, but it's really risky in terms of your time and energy that you pour into somebody when they're new on the team and not to mention in terms of that person who is trusting you and who's joining the team and coming in. And what if they're not the right fit?
It's your job to figure that out, right? Not theirs. So, you know, I think that's, that's another piece of it too. But I think taking it slow with things where there is. Yeah. Um, a lot of risk involved and really making sure that you're looking at it from every perspective. So it sounds like your leadership style is very much of empowering, not, you know, controlling and kind of dictating your your employees.
So how have you been influenced to lead that way? Was it an example set by someone like a mentor or anything like that? Frankly, the people that I've learned from are the people that I work with, you know, I mean, I, I, again, I didn't [00:20:00] come into this necessarily with all with this in mind. So I think I've made a ton of mistakes.
I mean, you know, and, and had a ton of conversations where I've walked away and thought, Hmm, I really could have handled that better, you know, or that that could have gone a different way. And frankly, Booth, my Achilles heel is not having the hard conversation. So I don't mean that I walk away and think, well, I really blew up with that person.
That's not my, you know, that's, that's not really. Um, you know, my thing, my thing is more, okay, you know, this, this, this seems tough right now, but it's going to work itself out. And it's, you know, and so avoiding those tough conversations, right? And so I think I've when you avoid enough of them, then you realize, hey, wait a minute, you know, or then when you finally have on the person says.
Why didn't you, why didn't you tell me this six months ago? So I really think that it's from learning from, from doing this and being in these relationships and the people that I get to work with aren't the people on our team are just really exceptional people. And so I think we've really kind of learned together and figuring it out together.
And it's, um, I think it's, it's [00:21:00] growing that way. And then of course, just like, just like I know you, you are that way. I'm always reading. And always listening to podcasts and always talking to people and, you know, kind of trying to figure out what works, but, but from, from, I'd say it's just trying to consume as much as I can from people that I respect, but then just learning kind of on the go and being open to sometimes failing as part of that learning process.
It is. It is. And some of us have a real hard time with that failure word, but it really typically leads to more success once you learn from it. So it's, um, I'm going to change gears a little bit. So the real estate market is everywhere, but especially where we are changed a lot during. COVID, um, and it's had some ups and downs the last few years with interest rates and lack of inventory around here.
How do you stay informed and on top of trends and changes in the real estate market? That's a great question. So, I mean, [00:22:00] I think, you know, it's interesting. Of course, the media, you know, kind of feeds us that there is a national real estate market, right? When you talk about the real estate market, right?
And they're, they're pulling from across the U S I mean, they're, they're giving you stats that really have nothing to do with what's happening in Carteret County. So what I would say is, um, I figured out early on that we really need to be paying attention to the stats that are local. We, we, um, again, I've got some folks on my team who are.
So good at, you know, spreadsheets and stats and all that kind of thing. Um, and so, you know, we have a team meeting every Thursday, everybody on the team comes to my house for breakfast. Um, and we, you know, everybody fixes a big plate and we go and sit in my living room and we run through an agenda. And part of that agenda is looking at our stats and we look at what's happening in the market, where do things stand?
Today we had one and we talked about how did the beginning of January of this year compared to the beginning of January of last year? And what can we extrapolate from that? And what can we expect? So we're always talking about that and getting everybody's input because, you know, when, when you're only [00:23:00] working in one sector of the business, the listing agents need to understand what are the buyers agency, what are buyers saying?
You know, so we're, there's a constant flow of information that way. So that's really how we stay on top of those things. And I think. Booth, you know, you didn't ask this, but I think that the bigger thing about any of that is that, you know, our business is very much impacted by all of those things. And so the other thing that we're always talking about and thinking about is how do we stay.
Mentally and emotionally able to handle those ups and downs, not just for us, but for our clients and to make sure that we're giving them the very best advice at all times based on what's happening right then in our market, which oftentimes is not what you're seeing on.
What is the biggest challenge you have faced and how did you overcome it? God, the biggest challenge. Well, I'll, okay, I'll, I'll tell you this. So we are actually right now, January, [00:24:00] 10 years ago is when we opened our doors. So we are 10 years old as of this month. I'll tell you what I think the biggest challenge is. For anybody who is in a leadership role is leading yourself well. I think that's our biggest challenge. I think that we go out and that we, um, make big plans and that we, um, are, are very outward focused. But I think that if you're not leading yourself well, then I, I don't think, I think it puts you in a diminished capacity and I think that your team knows it.
I think everybody knows it. And so that means taking care of yourself physically. That means, you know. Emotionally and mentally, I mean, I think it means leading yourself well, in terms of making sure that you're always learning and growing and that you're open to feedback. And, um, so I think that's the biggest challenge is that that gets, you know, it's exhausting, right?
And it, you know, right. And I think, um, sometimes the things that that are our biggest challenges are the things that are monotonous. The things that we have to do over and over and over again, [00:25:00] right? And you, you, you never outgrow them. And so I think that those are the things that, that are kind of the sneaky, biggest challenge of, of leaving a team.
Okay. I am going to shift gears a little and ask you some personal related questions. So I know that you are an early riser. What does your morning routine look like? And do you have an evening routine? I have an ideal morning routine that, that, you know, I did, you know, for, for years, you're exactly right for years.
I went to that five o'clock workout class and it was interesting. I was with my mom, um, maybe 18 months ago, two years ago. And she said, Mary Cheatham, your eyes are dead inside. Um, and that was kind of a wake up call. You know, I just wasn't getting enough sleep. I was not getting enough sleep, you know, with raising kids.
I mean, I definitely still go to bed way before they do, but you can't get mad at seven o'clock. I mean, so as much as you want to. So, um, my ideal morning routine [00:26:00] now would be that I get up a little after five. Um, and I, I now drink something like some, a greens powder and water before I have my coffee.
Right. And they say to wait like an hour before you have coffee. I'm not doing it. I won't get out of bed if I can't immediately have coffee, but I do have something hydrating before I have coffee. And then I have my coffee. And then I like to do my meditation. Um, even if it's only 10 minutes, 10, 15, 20, sometimes I'll do a guided meditation.
I have some that I really like that are in the podcast app or, um, you know, I'll find something like that, or I'll just use the calm app. And just, you know, do a little time to meditation. Um, I like to write in my journal a little bit if I can just get some things out of my brain and then I'll go to the six o'clock workout class.
Um, so if I can do that and then come home and then I try to get outside and at least I live kind of on a little circle and so I'll try and get outside and walk around the circle at some point mid morning while I'm making phone calls with my air pods in, you know, just to get some sunlight in my eyeballs.
Just because I mean, [00:27:00] I can stay inside all day, you know, once I, you know, if I don't have appointments, I'm just at my desk all day, which is not good. So I think getting outside is another, you know, kind of big part of that. Um, and I'm really boring. I have the same thing for breakfast every morning for a year.
I mean, for booth for 10 years, I had the same smoothie every morning and all of a sudden it didn't make me feel good. So now I just have little egg cups with that. I'm making a muffin tin with vegetables in them. Yeah, I mean, it's just, it's so good. It's so good. Just to me, the key to the daytime is just keeping my energy stable.
Right. Which means I have to eat. I eat pretty often, but, um, and then at night I just try to get to bed early. That's the biggest thing, you know, and I find if I can change out of my work clothes and put on something really comfortable, then I feel like I can be, you know, I think we, that's what's hard. I think about women is we have to mentally shift from work, work person into home person.
And sometimes just taking, you know, changing clothes into something else, going ahead and washing my face. Why is [00:28:00] that such, it's such a slog, but getting that done. I'm like, I'll do whatever you want. I have washed my face, whatever, you know, I will play whatever game you want to. I'll have whatever conversation you want to.
I'll fix whatever you want for dinner because my face is washed. You know, then you're that much closer to just being ready for bed. Yeah. You got to get yourself in that mindset, right? How do you plan out your days to be so productive? God, that's a great question. I wish I were better at this. I keep a to do list in my notes app on my phone and I segment it so that I've got personal to do's and then work to do's, right?
And then I'll just check them off as I go up, you know, put the little circle next to them. So you click it, right? And then it goes to the bottom. Um, I do that a lot. I, I. That's how I keep track of my to do list, but I'm a really big fan of a time blocked calendar. So I think that's key. I think it's really important.
Having to dos is great, but I think when you start a week being clear, what are the three things that have to happen this [00:29:00] week in order for it to be a good week? Otherwise, you never feel like you got anywhere. Right? So what are the three initiatives? I need to move forward. It's specifically what is moving forward with them mean.
So I think getting that clear and then time blocking that on your calendar is a really big deal. And if you're new to time blocking, there's so much information on it. But the biggest key is putting buffers between the time blocks, right? You don't want to have a day full of time blocks that abut each other.
That doesn't work. You've got to give yourself some, some grace period. And I think too, I don't try to time block my whole week at one time. Yeah. I'll just time block, you know, on Sunday, I'll look down and look at Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, and then midweek, I'll look at Thursday and Friday and see what have I not gotten to.
But I think the key is keeping a running list of to dos or else I forget. I'm terrible. But, but that's very different than what are the things that you have to accomplish, being clear on those and plugging those things into your time blocks. I totally agree with you. You have to have that little bit of buffer space.
It's huge. It's huge. You've got to have a buffer. [00:30:00] Balancing a demanding career and motherhood can become very overwhelming at times, and many women, especially moms, feel guilty if they let anyone down. Have you ever become so overwhelmed that you had to stop and make some changes? And if so, how did you get back on track for your own mental well being?
God, what a good question. Yes. I mean, I think I get overwhelmed all the time. I get really overwhelmed by text messages. I know that's very specific, but I mean communication, I just get really overwhelmed cause it comes at you from so many different different ways. Um, I think. things. Um, number one, from a communication overwhelm standpoint, one of the tips that I learned is at the end of the day, at the end of your work day, speaking of a time block, set a 30 minute time block and sit down and scroll back through your text messages from that one day.
What have you missed? Right? Make sure you haven't missed any voicemails. Make sure you haven't missed [00:31:00] any emails and just that way you can leave and not Wake up in the middle of the night, remembering that you forgot to respond to when I do that, it makes such a big difference. I'm not great at it, but that's a really great tip.
Um, I think as far as overwhelming a more general sense, um, you know, I know we've all heard this, but I really do like it, which is that if it's not a hell yes, it's a no. Right. And I think what I'm really guilty of doing is by saying that sounds great. Okay. Yes. Great. Or, or kicking the decision down the road because I know it's not a hell yes.
But I'm not 100 percent sure. Maybe it'll work. Maybe it won't. And so one of the biggest things I think we can do is to say immediately, I wish so much I could do that, but that's just not going to work for me. Thank you so much for thinking of me. Just say the no in the moment. Nobody is going to be upset.
Just go ahead and say the no and own it on the front end. It'll save you having to come back and pick it back up. That person then knows immediately they're not waiting for you to answer. I think we don't want to upset anybody until we [00:32:00] avoid the no. Right? And then it ends up becoming something that we dread or something that we halfway do well instead of knocking it out of the park.
Just say no on the front end. And I don't know if you, um, I don't know if you're a Mel Robbins fan. Um, yeah, I mean, who's not really? I've heard her speak a couple of times live. She's been at some events that I've been to that I really enjoy. But she has that new book called Let Them.
She's big on the podcast circuit right now. So you guys, I'm sure if you're listening could find her on a million different podcasts. The Skinny Confidential, him and her podcast is sometimes great. Sometimes A little bit out there for me, but she was on that one and it was a great episode because she talked about both her five second rule, which is another really great concept, especially if you have kids right, helping them understand the five second rule, which essentially you guys is just saying that if there's something you don't want to do, just count backwards from five and do it.
Stop giving yourself this space where you talk yourself out of it. If you need to do it, if you have to do it, like getting up in the [00:33:00] morning, don't hit snooze five times, count backwards from five and just do it. And so, you know, it's, it's all just having a bias towards action is what that's all about.
And then the let me is her new, excuse me, let them, and she also does say let me, is her new thing. And it's all about, you know, if people are going to think poorly of you or if they're going to feel let down. By you saying no to something, let them just let them, you know, of course it's, it's more, there's more to it than just that, but that's the basic principle.
And so I think getting comfortable with that. We're all people pleasers. I mean, you know, getting comfortable with, with what, what are the things that are in alignment with your values, with what you're building with who you're trying to be as a, as a person, you know, as a mom and a wife and all those things and do those things.
But if it's not, it's a no, it's a muscle. That's it's so true. It's a muscle that you flex when you start. And then you're like, wow, that was great. And then you realize the person's not mad. They're fine. It's really hard to learn to say no. I [00:34:00] think it takes practice and practice being a mom of two. What are some of your keys to that elusive word balance and how do you prioritize what makes it onto your calendar?
Well, okay. Several, several thoughts. Um, from a big picture planning standpoint, I'm a big fan of a paper calendar. So I use a Google calendar for my day to day stuff, but I use a paper calendar for, for looking at the whole year at one time. Or have y'all seen that big ass calendar that Jesse, that's yeah.
So you can see the whole year at one time. Yeah. I mean, they're awesome. So I think that's a huge thing y'all in terms of. Making sure how do you mean from a balanced standpoint looking at the whole year, right? And I think those times with your family, the vacations, the weekend, things that you're going to do holidays.
Those are the things that you need to commit to 1st. Those are the most important things. That's why you do anything else. So putting that on your calendar 1st. I think is the, is the biggest thing. So, you know, starting with that and getting that all plugged in, [00:35:00] um, I think it's really big. Um, you know, and then I think from a balance standpoint, um, on a more micro level, um, you know, I think having delineated time, we're also guilty of that.
And, you know, the thing is with you do what it takes when you're building something. You know, you do. I mean, I look back, I had no balance, zero balance. Uh, I think for those of us that work from home, that can become hard too, because we're physically present. And our children think that we are available, you know what I mean?
I mean, that's very confusing. I think for kids, you know, and so to have a space where you say, this is my office, even if it's not an office or when I'm at this desk, you know, that means that I'm, I'm working, you know? And, and, and so, you know, I remember my kids were little, I taught them to say, are you available?
You know, I mean, you know, that was like the question really is because I might be here. I look like I'm available, but my brain is really not available to you at this moment because I'm figuring something out or I'm sending a text and you hate that. It's better to be clear. Are you available? I'm not, but I will be in 10 [00:36:00] minutes, you know, or whatever that looks like.
So I think that that is all part of it. Um, and then, you know, I mean, you all the tips that you hear all the time. I'm not great at it, but I think, you know, coming in when you transition from from work to home, putting your phone away for an hour. Yeah. And just not even having it out there so that that way they know that they're the most important thing during that time.
And you, you know, I think it's so funny. I think, um, you know, we think that our kids want our attention all of the time. We, and they really don't at some point, they're like, okay, go back and do the thing that you were doing where you weren't watching me, you know, paying attention to me all the time. Right.
So I think if you can, if you can have that set time where everybody is focused on each other and it's quality time, then I think that that makes you, that creates more balance. Right, as opposed to disjointed time that you grab where you can find it. So, you know, I know it sounds dumb. That's also a form of time blocking.
But I think that when I do that, it helps. Yes. It's all about being present. [00:37:00] Presence is a great, that's exactly right. What would you do differently if starting over today? Oh my gosh, I can think of a million things that I probably should have done differently. Um, I think what I would do differently is, um, what I would do the same is I would figure out what model I figured out what model I was going to follow, followed it.
And then, you know, as my, my business coach, I have a business coach who I love, Jordan, I've been with him for eight years and he says that you earn the right, you earn the right to deviate from the model. Right. And so I think that's something that I would do again. Um, I think something that I. Um, a big lesson is, you know, in the hiring process, that's just so key and you can't just hire people that you like, you know, I kind of like everybody, you know, so then, so then I'm like, okay, well, they're, they seem great, you know, I think figuring out what is it that you're hiring for, what are the tests, what are the things, you know, we just [00:38:00] hired somebody and we gave them an MLS input form.
They had, they didn't know, they didn't know what it was. They didn't know, you know, we gave them some basic information and said, okay, how would you fill this out? Because some things we figured out, you either have the instinct for it or you don't, you know, and are they resourceful and are, you know, these are all these skills that we know you need to thrive on our team.
So I think it's figuring those things out. What is your hiring process and your training process? Those are things that I would do differently. I would have, if I, if I knew then what I know now, I think I would have spent more time really nailing those things early on. Well, based on your team, I think you figured it out pretty fast.
Well, thank you. Thank you. I'm very, very lucky because I certainly work with some incredible people. Truly. What advice would you give someone just starting out? Well, I think trust your gut is a really big one. I think don't be afraid of the hard [00:39:00] conversations, you know? Um, I mean, I think a great question to ask is what are the three conversations that you're not having?
That if you had them, it would change everything. What are the conversations you're avoiding? I think that is such a big deal. You know, really owning your space. I think that that's a big thing. I think you can't be everything to everybody. I think that's really important. You know, if somebody asks you, if you'll do something that's not really in your wheelhouse and it's not a direction that you want to go in, the answer is no.
You know, I just think to thrive in your little niche, to thrive in your little, your little part of things, that's, that's Really what you want and then again if you nail that and you want to grow from there then do it But I think spreading yourself too thin to start with is a mistake. So I think that's a big one I think um, I think getting help is a really big one Booth.
I mean, I think I think being aware, [00:40:00] you know, I, I was an agent, I was an agent on my own for years and didn't have any help. Um, I mean, I say that everybody around me helps me all the time, but I didn't have any dedicated hired help, if that makes sense. So there are plenty of things that I did that I can do, but I'm not great at it.
You know, that following these detailed processes and systems, that is not me. Right. And so understanding what are my strengths and then making sure that you hire for the things that aren't your strengths early on, you don't need another, you, you need somebody who can pick up your slack. You need somebody who can live in that space.
That's, that's not your strong suit. So I think that's a big one. And then I think. Getting help at home and with the kids, when you're able to do that, having some help with those things, whatever that may look like, if it's, you know, there, there are catering services around town that you can say, you know, I'd like to get, you know, some meals made, you know, or you can, you can get, you know, meals made for a week, or if you just need a break and need, you know, whatever that might be having somebody come and [00:41:00] clean your house, you know, at, at whatever frequency that you're able to, or if you just, if you normally do it, but you just know that it's going to be a really tough week.
And you need that. Um, I think those are the things, you know, and, and I think the last thing I'll say this, this, um, sounds simple, but I always talk to my kids about this too. Thinking about future you, you know, I think thinking about future you and I mean, short term future you not long term. I'm not a good long term thinker, but thinking about short term future you in terms of looking at the calendar and saying, Okay.
Wow. Okay. Wait a minute. Next week is going to be tough. What are the things I can do? How can I prepare my family and say, you guys, next week's going to be a doozy. So can I count on you to do these three extra things for me? Or even looking at your day tomorrow, tomorrow is going to be really tough. I'm going to go ahead and plan ahead for whatever it is.
And every day I try to plan ahead for, I set my coffee cup out next to the coffee maker. So then I'll walk in and I'm like, look at this. Somebody was thinking about me. It was, [00:42:00] you know, you know what I mean? I mean, it's just, it's such a small toy to walk in and be like, Here's my coffee cup. It's my favorite one.
It's ready for me. Or I'll lay my workout clothes out the night before, you know, if I'm going on a trip booth, how much I hate packing. So. Much I'll pack the weekend before just block out some town on Sunday and pack and that way the whole trip is joy Not starting out with me scrambling in the dark trying to find the things I need to put them in the suitcase So I'm thinking about future you is such a great little Little hack for anybody and to teach our kids to hey, it's future.
You are tomorrow Are you gonna be glad that you're playing this video game instead of getting your math homework done? One last question and I'm going to shift gears again and talk community So you have two platforms Carteret curated and copy with MC that highlight area businesses and individuals Why is this important to you?
Well, I guess you know, I think two things. I think number [00:43:00] one When you're raising a family, you become very aware of the community that's around you, right? It takes a village and it takes a village, right? From all the educators to the friends to, you know, just, just the, the, all the people that, that have their hands in helping to raise my kids.
It just makes you really aware, I think, of your community. And the second thing is when you have a small business, you become really aware of your community. Um, you know, small business life is, it's hard. And it can be lonely, right? And so I think, um, to, to recognize the other small business people, uh, and to realize that you have a connection, right?
You're all in this area and you all want to make it as great as you can. And, and to it, it, I think that, you know, the phrase that a rising tide lifts all ships is something that totally comes to mind. But I think through those things, you realize just how important your community is. And, and the thing about Carteret is you've got all these second homeowners who, who, Absolutely [00:44:00] love it and, and we'll do whatever they can to help make things better here.
And then you've got these full time folks who are just so amazing and smart and capable. And I don't know, I just think Carteret County attracts a certain type of, of people, right. And I just, they're just so amazing. So I think that that's where that started. And then, you know, with coffee with MC, it was COVID, you know, we, we, you know, we just thought, man.
This is so weird to feel so disconnected and so we just thought we would do it during COVID. Just have somebody on once a week and do a little Facebook live and talk about what was happening in their corner of Carteret County. Um, and it just kept on going from there and it's so much fun. It's so fun to get to, to kind of help spread the word on things and to help to understand what people's needs are.
And, um, so that's just been a great thing. And then, you know, I think. For the Carteret curated, that is really, it's an Instagram page for those of you that don't know it. It's an Instagram page that is just, it's not monetized [00:45:00] in any way. It's just totally a kind of a love letter to Carteret County where we're just always kind of trying to spread the word about ways that people can get involved.
It's, you know, it's restaurants and it's new businesses and it's, um, places that could use a boost. It's places where you can donate time and money. It's. Yeah. All of those things, great experiences you can have. So that feels like, especially Booth doing what we do, you know, that we, we sell real estate. And so we've got a lot of folks who are coming to the area.
We've got a lot of folks who, who we have helped welcome here, who love it, who love being here. And so it's kind of sharing all of that and making sure we've got a great way for people to plug in and really enjoy it to start. And then you also have your MCKRE Gives initiative, where you have given back and raised over 440, 000 into the community.
Tell us all about that. Yeah, great question. So for every closing that we have, we donate 100. on behalf of that buyer or seller to the MCKRE Gives [00:46:00] Fund. So for, for each person that we've worked with, since we started this initiative in 2020, we put a hundred dollars in the pot, so to speak. And then of course we just add, add money kind of, you know, throughout the year, you know, we, we add to it.
And then we also, if we have, we'll have an event where we'll do fundraising for, you know, for different organizations and that kind of thing. So that goes into the pot as well. And then what we'll do is we have people reach out to us, you know, which I love, I love that. I mean, the boys and girls club will reach out at Christmas and they'll say, all right, we've got a few families that were really worried about, you know, they may be on the angel tree, but we just, we think they're not going to have a Christmas.
You know, and so, I mean, how amazing that they can, I feel so blessed that they reach out to us and say, can you help? And, you know, of course we can help. This is, we'd love to. So, you know, it's those types of things. And then paying attention kind of to what's going on. We have clients who will email us or text us and we have team members who will say, Oh my gosh, did you know that this is happening?
Or so and so's house burned down or, you know, all those things. It's. It's so nice to have a fund [00:47:00] all the time where we can say, great, we would love to help with that. And we have an earmarch just for that. So that has been such a bright spot and such, um, just something that we all, our whole team loves that.
So that's really been a gift. It is such a blessing when you are able to bless others. Yes, yes, that's exactly right. Well said. Yes. Mary Cheatham, this has been so great and very insightful for our listeners. Thank you so much for your time today. I know how busy you are. I will link Mary Cheatham's website and the social handles for all of her things in the show notes.
So be sure and check them out, give them a follow, and I'll also find that book and link it in there too. Thanks again. Oh, thank you. This was fun, Moose. Thanks for all y'all are doing. [00:48:00]