Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
“Words of Wisdom” is an initiative to document and celebrate the stories, insights, and wisdom of Singapore’s senior citizens. It's powered by Folklory, a service dedicated to preserving stories through audio podcasts, who will collaborate with 60 seniors aged 60 and above to create a series of 60 podcasts, each capturing a unique slice of Singapore’s rich history and culture. Find out more info at Folklory.com
00:00:00:00 - 00:00:24:00
Unknown
Hello there. This is Terence from folkloric. What you're about to listen to is a podcast from the Words of Wisdom Project, where we spoke to 60 Singaporeans over the age of 64 as you, 60, and captured their life lessons for the next generation. We hope you enjoy it.
00:00:24:02 - 00:00:50:16
Unknown
And we're here today to do this full glory with the World Cup. Oh, is that is that how you pronounce it? Yes, yes and yes. So maybe the best way for us to begin, is for you to to us. Or just give us a quick introduction of yourself. Yes. Yeah. I'm a 74 year old grandfather. I but my main business is in, maritime business.
00:00:50:16 - 00:01:16:04
Unknown
I've been working in the just people 50 over years. At the moment, grandfather of, five grandchildren and father of all children. Yeah. Okay. Well, it's, it's a big family. Big? Oh, yeah. It's nice for my generation, though, because during my time, these issues. True. So I'm one of the rare ones to have four.
00:01:16:06 - 00:01:39:21
Unknown
That's true. It's true. But yeah I mean it's you know to have a family of four. It does, it must stem from a place of, of, you know, very strong relationships and love within the family. Right. So I just wanted to ask you, what does the what, love mean to you when you think about your family?
00:01:39:23 - 00:01:59:13
Unknown
You know, because I come from a Christian background, so I think love is a very deep meaning, about what it means to love. It means also to forgive. It means also to embrace, you know, whatever, the person is. So. And the future and, of course, you know, they are not the same, but I spend a lot of time with them when they're young.
00:01:59:13 - 00:02:17:11
Unknown
I used to spend 1 to 1 year with each one of them, you know, go for. So, you know, one month is got 4 or 5 Fridays. So I make it a point every Friday to bring one of my child out, for dinner. And we do the relationship over 20 years, even up to this date.
00:02:17:13 - 00:02:38:11
Unknown
My children still called me out for 1 to 1 dinner. Sometimes or lunch sometimes, you know, just to communicate, just to spend time together. So this is my real love life is a really, love language. Me to spend time with you that you really like. So yeah. So I spend inside my children. You okay.
00:02:38:11 - 00:03:04:11
Unknown
Okay. So I mean your children obviously have also grown up and become adults themselves and you know in relationships and everything. What do you think is one piece of advice that you would generally give to all young people, if not if not your own children about, love? Like, what should they prioritize in their own romantic relationships?
00:03:04:13 - 00:03:30:17
Unknown
Yeah, I think from my own life experience, I would say that, sincerity is very important because sincerity builds trust. So it doesn't matter whether it's in the family or in your book life. So if you are sincere people, you you build a trust. And, over my years of working with people, people trust me, I think that is not just my superior, but also the people they interact with.
00:03:30:19 - 00:03:57:16
Unknown
So yeah, I think that's probably the best advice I can give to people. And how do you build trust in, in a relationship? I think it's, straight talking. Good is good, but is bad. And, you know, you, you want to help people. You must be sincere also in helping people. So in even I'm going to terminate somebody, I will go to him, and then I will explain to him why I want to do it.
00:03:57:18 - 00:04:21:18
Unknown
And I want to help him by telling him that where he could, he has done well, courageous. So, you know, you, you, you, you don't see as you are talking down on people, but you want to cure people and you also want to help people in return. So I think that do trust that even when people leave me or who, you know, they will leave you, they will be there with a happy, happy ending.
00:04:21:20 - 00:04:50:18
Unknown
Yeah. So, okay, so just talking about love. Do you believe in concept? The concept of love at first sight? Sorry. Do you believe in the concept of love at first sight? Hello? My first sight. Yeah. Delivers first. I worked for some people, but I think, well, love builds up over time. To me, I know I'm good.
00:04:50:20 - 00:05:15:09
Unknown
I know, I know some people who, fall in love and first say I don't see it doesn't work, but it also works for people who are, you know, when the love develops over time. So in my case is really that way too. Is that, I met my wife when I was, know, going on, on a holiday to Cameron Islands were talking about way back in the 1980s, 1970s.
00:05:15:11 - 00:05:39:23
Unknown
There are not many places that people go for the ocean. So you club, Fraser Hill or Cayman Islands. So I was with a group of, of, people together with my sister. That's why I remember why I couldn't see live this side. But we found that we were compatible. So, so we, we, we caught each other and we got married there, you know what I mean?
00:05:39:23 - 00:06:04:08
Unknown
Because, you know, we built that, that commitment to love. I also in my own parents because in my parents days you all arranged marriage. Okay. But you can see that all the time. You know, the love developed. In other words, you be good to one another. You know your, your small things. Because love language is the way you know, you do small things and you get by presence.
00:06:04:08 - 00:06:34:20
Unknown
You see words and things. So that builds up the marriage love. So yeah, I think it works for us. I see, I see. And so what do you think is the secret for longevity in your relationship? Oh, I, I think, you know, at least ginger because my mum lives out the 102. Okay. But it's no point living up to 102 if you are not healthy.
00:06:34:22 - 00:07:06:03
Unknown
And so to me I, I used to share this also with, with, with my staff like that and today I, I presto according to my life. Right. Work is important. Family lives is important. Health is reporting. Right. And finally religion is important too. Must have a balance in our life. And we put equal emphasis in each one of them so that our life can be more, more rounded religion, because you can have a very good career, but you don't have health.
00:07:06:03 - 00:07:30:04
Unknown
You don't have good family life, right? So, you know, it is no point in the at the end of day. So so you must have, you know, some balance in your life. Got it. Thanks for that. I was, I was actually asking about the longevity of your relationship. How do you maintain maintain the, you know, the the strength of the relationship over time?
00:07:30:06 - 00:07:55:08
Unknown
Okay. You know, my wife and I, we practice this, this practice of 1 to 1 every week. And we were doing this for the last, maybe 30, 40 years. Okay. And what what is the what is 1 to 1? You know, in the early days we will go out, bring 1 to 1. Then when the children comes along, we just, meet at home.
00:07:55:08 - 00:08:15:13
Unknown
And at the time that we call it, we call it communication time in the with that, you know, in the busyness of work. And, you know, if all children, sometimes they don't talk enough. Yeah. So I would I would set aside every Friday night, for example, it could be two hours that we come together. We, you know, we would we we have a good communication.
00:08:15:15 - 00:08:34:16
Unknown
In other words, how could we, a Christian, that we come together to pray, but we talk about how schedules for the week or past week or current week or for the coming week. What kind of schedules that we have, how are behaving here? How is our married life going on, how the spiritual life going on? And, what's our plan?
00:08:34:22 - 00:08:57:11
Unknown
And, you know, sometimes in my early days of marriage, sometimes we struggle with finances. Okay. And so it's good that we come together also talk about finances, right. You know, you know, you know, this, your parents birthday, how much we should give somebody, get marriage, how much we should give. So it's, it's a dialog that we we we we we do it regularly.
00:08:57:13 - 00:09:14:17
Unknown
So do we know what's happening in each other's life? And, no surprises in the sense, you know. So up to this day, we still practice that we should come together and we run to the. We schedule out. I'm going to eat on Monday night. Tuesday night, I'm going out and whatever it is. So we this this is this.
00:09:14:17 - 00:09:36:18
Unknown
She knows my plan. I know, I know her plan as well. Right? So no surprises in our life. So. So. Yeah. So that's actually, like something that you schedule for you to do every week. Okay, okay. It's nice. So, I mean, just thinking about, you know, all this experience that you have to get of your life.
00:09:36:20 - 00:09:56:23
Unknown
If you could go back in time to the 70s when you first started dating your wife and offer one piece of advice to the young version of yourself and your in your in your life, one piece of advice for the for the future. What's this one piece of advice that you give them? Even regarding our marriage? Yeah. Just.
00:09:57:03 - 00:10:25:13
Unknown
Yeah. Regarding your relationship? Yeah. I think one, one advice I would say is that to be somewhat open, those, you know, conversation. Yeah. I think, as husband and wife, we, we need to know what's happening each other. We need to be interested in each other life. Yeah. Because we find it sometimes, you know, wife does the one thing, and, husband does their own thing, and they have their own circle of friends and so forth.
00:10:25:15 - 00:10:46:03
Unknown
So we try to have mutual friends and, you know, so we we, we, we live as a unit, not a separate lives. So I think there's something that's important. The other we each of us do have our own circle of friends, but we spend more time doing common friends than, our own circle of friends. Yeah.
00:10:46:05 - 00:11:18:22
Unknown
Got it, got it. Okay. I mean, you know, we've spoken quite a bit about relationships, but I do want to talk about what you're saying about French friends and friendship. Yeah. So what, over the years, like, what do you think are the most important character traits or values that you've that you look for in friends? Maybe you can say that I look at a very narrow be musicians because of the fact that, I, I'm a Christian, so I belong to a Christian group, a Christian community.
00:11:18:24 - 00:11:40:14
Unknown
And I put my, my, our friendship, our house, the people that we know or mixed with, basically the people in that group of people. So it's people that share a certain, a certain common base, you know, to understand what you mean by forgiveness. You understand what you mean by respect for one another, and this house, because this is like a level playing field, right?
00:11:40:16 - 00:12:07:14
Unknown
To understand good common, certain, rules about friendship. Then, of course, you got other references outside of, of of community. And then of course, that requires a little bit more, wisdom in dealing with them because they are also people who are there because they want your help. They want your help and you can help them, but instead it can be one sided here.
00:12:07:16 - 00:12:33:20
Unknown
Maybe they want to borrow money or whatever it is. So is, is because a different dimension of wisdom to, to handle the people out there. So yes. I felt that, yeah. I think, you know, living with, group of friends that you can trust, people that, you know, we share the same values and and your cushion in a way, because of this environment that you live with.
00:12:33:22 - 00:12:51:17
Unknown
It is good. We also living in a family with your family also connected to the people in that group. So that sort of value helps them connection with like you, you mentioned earlier about being defined by love right. But that's when we do love because you see love in the family. You see love outside of the family.
00:12:51:19 - 00:13:15:05
Unknown
Right. And then and you know, when they practice something as well. So it is very to me, very good will bring up children to see what your parents are doing. Especially with, the people around them as well. Right. Yes. And so I think earlier you mentioned about, you know, it's it's very easy to get caught up with work and, you know, raising four kids and all.
00:13:15:07 - 00:13:41:12
Unknown
How have you managed to maintain your friendships over the years in spite of being so busy, with the people at work or the people on the outside, outside of, I'm generally very organized. Okay. So, you know, I, in my younger days of work, I would, actually program my, my week. I would have, like, every Thursdays of day.
00:13:41:14 - 00:14:01:23
Unknown
So I got, you know, like, church meeting on Monday. Tuesday I got some other, you know, so good meeting, whatever it is. Right. And then I go Fridays with my children. Right. And this Saturday, normally with my wife. So then I have a day off on Thursday night. It isn't like that. I go to make the friends exercise.
00:14:01:23 - 00:14:23:06
Unknown
I think we will have, you know, coffee, you know, have some dinner together and declare. So you just maintain your colleagues. So there could be a consummate church friend as well. But you, you use this time to fellowship with other people as well. So the dinner isn't, just contained. Your circle of friends, but also you, you know, you have a wider circle of friends.
00:14:23:06 - 00:14:45:09
Unknown
So, yes, I do say the same thing for, for, going out with people. So I do that for maybe 20, 30 years. Right. And, you know, because when I'm older, those friends also, you know, they all become very preoccupied with their own, family life, grandchildren and so forth. But I still do them today.
00:14:45:09 - 00:15:08:08
Unknown
I still do, like, every two months I organize my ex company. Yeah. Lunch together and my classmate, I've organized maybe one, two, three, four months together. Okay. So. So we will have groups of meeting, different groups of meeting, but we don't do it that frequently, but we space it out so that, because, you know, you come together sometime, we tell the same stories and old people.
00:15:08:10 - 00:15:33:13
Unknown
You always talk about school, the teachers and everything. So instead of doing that, we spread it out a little bit. So. Yeah, sure. So it's just like actually factoring in time for your friendship. Yes. That makes a difference. Okay. Yes. So, you know, one one, one thing that is quite impressive is that you said, you mentioned that you spent basically most of your working life in the same industry.
00:15:33:13 - 00:15:58:15
Unknown
That. Right? Yes. And, I mean, could you talk a little bit about what is to motivate that, you know, and all, you know, how what has kept you going for so long in this industry? Oh, you know, you know, I'm a seafarer who's seafaring is a very, very, which I have a very unique industry. Unique industry?
00:15:58:15 - 00:16:17:23
Unknown
Really? Did not many people go to sea? At least not many Singaporeans wanted to go to sea. Sure. Right. And the wonder? The why? Something that gives the schoolchildren where they're going just talks is that, you know, when you when you want to choose a career. So sometimes opportunity is when you go on the road less traveled.
00:16:18:00 - 00:16:42:16
Unknown
Because if you go on a road there's less travel then you're in big demand. But if you go to a route that everybody's going then you're competing with the best. So I mean because by chance that one of my uncle was a marine engineer, you know, by chance, I mean, he really he was a marine there. And I, I look at his lifestyle, you know, he's got a nice home where he got a nice car and, he has reason.
00:16:42:16 - 00:17:12:02
Unknown
Why do you think a marine engineering, which I did, so I do, and I, he would realize I wouldn't see him. So I said for almost 11 years, becoming a chief engineer of a ship. And then I came ashore and I was working and was on our national line. So given a lot of opportunity and I came ashore, I worked in middle management, was promoted all the way to finally becoming a managing director of Ocean Management Company, the annual subsidiary.
00:17:12:04 - 00:17:40:02
Unknown
I so I found that is a very, very rewarding career because, you know, it's a competition. And and then, it was also rewarding in the sense that, financially, it was good, but also because, you, should have a job. Sure. Okay. So I, I retired from general at 56. I, I left annual at 56 because another company was trying to push me.
00:17:40:04 - 00:18:01:01
Unknown
So even the 56 people wants me to, to work for them. So I went to this company thinking that maybe I'll retire at 62, and they let me work until 67 because they want to keep me. So when I retire at 67, NTUC has got a maritime, a union, and they asked me to join them. And today I'm 74.
00:18:01:01 - 00:18:19:01
Unknown
I'm still working. Let's see. So I would say this is a very, very good career. You know, I think I would say that, I don't no regrets picking up this career. Sure, sure. So, so it's sort of seeing where the opportunity was, where you could really make a difference and be a stand out from the rest as well.
00:18:19:01 - 00:18:40:22
Unknown
And so, yeah, leaning in on that, leaning in that as well. Yeah. So I mean, you mentioned earlier that, you know, when you give talks and things of that, there's so many things that you tell young people, what do you think? What advice would you give to a young person starting out their career? Today? You know, I know, I understand, you know, it's, very different era from back then.
00:18:40:22 - 00:19:06:14
Unknown
But at the same time, I'm sure there are things that you see young people doing that you feel maybe they can think differently about this. Yes, I agree, because, during my time, many people have a single career, a single company career. Right. But today, people change job quite regularly. I it's not a bad thing because, any job also adds value to yourself, but I, I can only say this, you know, that.
00:19:06:16 - 00:19:30:21
Unknown
You know, I think in every one of us, we know what we're good at and what we're not so good at. And I always advise, younger people to look at what they are good at and maximize it, because that is where your value is. And that's why people want to employ you for. Right? So, you know, even if you are a good talker, that's your value because you can do marketing very well.
00:19:30:23 - 00:19:46:16
Unknown
Right? So you look at what you're good at and maximize it. What you are not good at. You can try to improve on it, but you can never be good in it because it is no good in it. Like myself, I know it's so hard. I try to be right. I'm not good at it, but I can learn, right?
00:19:46:18 - 00:20:07:08
Unknown
But what I'm good is, is in coaching, in, what I call mentoring people and they use it to the maximum. So every company I go to, I will train, I will build people up. Because if I build up a good team, my job become easier. Right. So so I, I always tell people that is okay.
00:20:07:08 - 00:20:28:18
Unknown
You know look at you when the a strong point is and maximize and. I see. So again it's like I think you know emphasizing that identify your strong points and and really lean into them as you build your career up okay. Okay. So I mean you've spoken quite a bit about you know what advice that you would have for young people.
00:20:28:20 - 00:20:56:01
Unknown
Like, what do you think is one piece of advice that you have received in your career that has stayed with you all this time? I'll be honest, I don't I don't, get much advice. Some people, but I watch people, I learn from people because, you know, when I was, say, on the push, the the guide who is in charge of me, who manages me was the terrible guy.
00:20:56:03 - 00:21:18:08
Unknown
You guys were so hot tempered, you showed me and everything. I would have given up my career at that point in time. Right? And then subsequently, he goes only on that ship for two months, and then another person take over was completely different from him. Very patient, very kind, very forgiving. And I saw I shouldn't be this guy can be.
00:21:18:10 - 00:21:41:07
Unknown
Can be this way and can can be so patient with with the stuff that he's working with. Right. Why can't I be the same? Because I can change people's lives. I can help people's people develop. So I. I learn from people, you know, I see what people do, the good things that people do. And I try to to model myself after, after them.
00:21:41:07 - 00:22:01:22
Unknown
So I think that's how I pick my way up along the way, you know, rather than, getting advice. It was only a very late stage in my life that somebody give you this advice was, I was, deputy MD. And this guy with M.D., he had he had he had a very, very tough chairman.
00:22:01:24 - 00:22:23:03
Unknown
And he resigned because the chairman, because he was very tough on me. So I took over the, the and after six months, I went to the give up to and I went to see him. I said, James, you know, you left because of him and I feel like leaving the house. So this guy told me he's a total stay because the whole outer is very different, right?
00:22:23:04 - 00:22:45:05
Unknown
You know your job, you know what you're doing. Stay because because change and true enough, after two years, I got a new chairman. And when I completely changed. So I thought I was very wise advisor. Sometimes we don't want to be too rash, you know. Decision. Right. So take some time to to to persevere a little bit.
00:22:45:07 - 00:23:06:04
Unknown
But maybe things are changed because you finally your things doesn't change. Then you need to make a decision. But I thought that was a very good piece of advice that he gave to me. Okay. This is good advice to be able to persevere through, tough times. And, you know, sometimes that the, the change happens that you don't need to change, but the change can happen around you.
00:23:06:06 - 00:23:27:23
Unknown
Yes. It makes it better for you. Yeah. So, yeah, you know, yeah. Thanks a lot for opening up and sharing your stories about love, relationships and your career. You know, because this is something that we're leaving as a time capsule for future generations. Any parting words to someone, a young person who might be listening to this down the road?
00:23:27:23 - 00:23:51:02
Unknown
Like, any last piece of advice that you want to leave for the next generation of Singaporeans? Well, I think the world is changing. But still, there are always a lot of opportunities out there. We need to look for opportunities that Michalski said. And once you can measure himself, I think we can. You can, you can fly.
00:23:51:04 - 00:24:16:01
Unknown
And I think, how successful do that come. You look at that Steve job. Oh, you know anybody do look, even, our local people who, you know, hawkers, they can be very successful in Indian hawker, too, because they, they know what their skill set is. Right. And to maximize it. So I think the will be challenging. But if you can be good in something how you maximize you can succeed.
00:24:16:03 - 00:24:22:15
Unknown
And I.
00:24:22:17 - 00:24:50:03
Unknown
Hello again I hope you enjoyed listening to that for me. Words of wisdom is a project by Charlotte Go, powered by Full Glory and supported by our Singapore Fund. To find out more, please visit our website at Folklorico. That's f okay. L o r y Scott. Goodbye.