Between Ends and Emergence

This episode explores the quiet, uncomfortable space between who you were and who you are becoming. The endings. The loneliness. The surrender. And the deep trust required to keep moving forward when nothing feels solid.

If you are outgrowing people, places, and old versions of yourself, this one is for you.

What is My Inner Musings?

My Inner Musings is a space for the thoughts we often keep to ourselves.
I talk out loud about life, relationships, change, and the patterns we notice as we grow.
These are real reflections from a lived life, shared with honesty, humour, and curiosity.
Nothing is polished. Nothing is solved.
Just honest musings, spoken in real time.

There's a quiet space between the life you've outgrown and the life you're moving into. That in between place is uncomfortable. Sometimes you feel excited, you feel energized for what's coming because you know it's on its way. Other times you feel overwhelmed by the endless list of things to do. Every time I look at my world right now, it feels temporary.

I know I'm leaving my home, doesn't feel like home. My work feels like something. I'm ticking off a list. I'm counting down the days until I go. I'm cherishing the time with the people I care about while also realizing how many others I've outgrown in the process. The universe has a strange sense of humor.

Endings keep showing up. No matter what I did, people from my past appear at the grocery store on an airplane in different cities.

It feels symbolic. The year of the snake shedding of the skin preparing to leave the universe is slowly closing the doors one by one. It is been interesting to witness some of the encounters felt warm, easy, a chance to revisit something meaningful. Others were brief. Some gave me clarity because when people lose access to you, they reveal who they truly are.

Part of me always knew I wanted to believe in their potential, but it always brings me back to the same truth. Trust your intuition. Now I find myself in limbo. I'm surrendering. I'm surrendering my existence here. I'm surrendering to what's to come next. I'm Surrendering to the discomfort, the excitement, the creative momentum, and the sadness.

We get comfortable being a certain version of ourselves when we're no longer that person. We realize how much we've outgrown in, but when we're not fully in that new version yet, it feels like being an adolescent again in your own life, your old self calls you back. It says, come back. This is familiar, this is safe.

And you say, Nope, because you've been there and you know that there's more waiting for you. You are on a different path now. So here's the choosing growth. Choosing standards, sitting in discomfort, accepting uncertainty, letting go of control, allowing the process even when it feels frustrating, even when you're exhausted, even when it feels like everything's shifting at once.

Doors closing doors, opening lessons everywhere. It is humbling. You learn to trust yourself. I've reached a point where I no longer betray myself, and because of that, my world has become smaller, quieter, but I know it's expanding. Again, in this between space, it can feel lonely. I like solitude. I like quiet, but sometimes in the quiet your mind wanders.

You think you overthink and still I choose to surrender. I know that I'm on a different path. I know there's more ahead of me than I can see right now. This part is uncomfortable, but I know something else too. Six months from now, a future version of me will look back and feel proud. She'll say, remember when you thought that was hard?

Look at you. Now you made it. So in those moments when you feel like you're drowning, trying to save yourself or someone else, remember this, there's a future version of you watching. She's proud. She's always been proud. You just can't see her ye