What is your relationship with control? Do you tend to fight against unwanted parts of your experience? Does resistance move you forward or hold you back?
This isn’t the podcast I was supposed to create.
I had something polished and impressive in mind.
This is more interesting.
You should listen to it.
A bit of background:
I’d already committed to publishing a daily podcast when I got (very, very, very) sick with Long (very, very, very long) COVID.
So, I had a choice:
I could give up, or I could keep my commitment and include my constant exhaustion, fever, foggy-brain, relentless cough —and do my best.
I chose the latter.
My “best” varies quite a bit according to how well or poorly I feel on a given day.
The episodes are raw, out of order, unedited, with uneven audio quality, You’ll often hear my Pekingese, Bija barking in the background.
Sometimes I talk to myself, sometimes I talk to you. Sometimes I have no idea who I’m talking to. It’s a true potpourri.
And it’s not just overhearing me wax poetic through a stuffy nose about new insights and the insufferable discomfort of upended plans. There’s more!
In between the fragments of thought, feeling, and utter nonsense, is a timely and universal story about expectations, meaning making, dropping all agendas, and discovering what’s possible when we Open to What Is.
Tune in.
Sample a few episodes.
See if you can drop all expectations and allow yourself to be surprised and delighted by something you didn’t know you were looking for.
All right so this is the this is a special edition of willing to be human: Extra Human. I'm recording from my bed in my pajamas I've been sick for quite a while, so I figured this was a perfect opportunity to to practice what I have been sharing. But before I say more let's take a moment just get present.
Notice your environment. Notice any sounds in the room. Notice sounds that are near sounds. Notice sounds that are far. Pay attention to where your body is in contact with a surface: if you are standing, feel the bottoms of your feet. If you're in bed like me, feel everywhere you're supported by the bed. Maybe you're in a chair. Just notice what is holding you up, and let yourself surrender a little bit into the ground.
This is gonna be really short.
The topic of surrender, letting go of control, is a topic I'm going to spend a bit of time exploring. And I invite you to explore with me. I've done a lot of time thinking about it. As I mentioned, I've been sick for such a long time, and that's brought me into a very raw relationship with the things that are beyond my control, and with things that are within my control as well. I've noticed the pain, or the frustration, or the just the experience of being in Resistance. And I've noticed how much more difficult everything becomes as a consequence resisting reality - whatever the given reality is.
So, I invite you to think about where in your life, right now, you are resisting. Where are you saying 'no' to something because it isn't the way you think it should be. Where do you wish your experience would change? Where are you telling yourself that, if you just refuse to acknowledge what is happening, then it'll just go away.
And let's not judge ourselves for doing this. It's understandable. The point here is just to notice, is it effective?
So, check back in: Notice how you're feeling now.
Thank yourself for practicing. Thank yourself for just showing up. For just being here. For listening. I'm want to dedicate this practice to anyone that's experiencing really intense resistance right now, and really wants relief.
Thanks so much again. I will see you on the next one.