The Parable of the Unforgiving Servant • Matthew 18:21-35

July 12th, 2020 • Beau Bradberry

"So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” — Matthew 18:35

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Show Notes

July 12th, 2020 •

"So also my heavenly Father will do to every one of you, if you do not forgive your brother from your heart.” — Matthew 18:35

–
Podcast: https://pod.link/willowridgechurch
Website: https://willowridgechurch.org
Instagram: https://instagram.com/willowridgechurch
Facebook: https://facebook.com/willowridgechurch
YouTube: https://youtube.com/@willowridgechurch

Creators and Guests

Host

Beau Bradberry

Senior Pastor

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Thanks for listening.

Good morning.

Grateful that you guys are here with us at Willow Ridge Church, and grateful for everyone

who's joining us online.

If you've got your Bibles, going to open them up to Matthew chapter 18.

As I was standing there worshiping at the nine o'clock service, we were singing, going through

the songs, and we sang that hymn that we sang growing up many, many times for many of us.

And there was the line that I want to read and kind of start off with as we dive into the

message this morning.

One of the verses that we sang, it said this, and the things of earth will go strangely dim

in the light of his glory and grace.

And it struck me.

That's a song that I've sung going back to my childhood more times than I could ever remember.

But it's, there's some power in those words that I don't know have ever resonated with me

in my heart the way they did this morning.

And I think it's because of the topic of what we're going to look at this morning

in the parable of the unforgiving servant.

And what the truth of this verse, what it is drawing us to is this, that as I fully pursue God

in knowing him in a very close, intimate relationship, and as I think of and experience the grace

that that relationship gives me and I live in that grace, then the words of the song say

the things of the earth will go strangely dim.

And there's a couple ways we can look at that.

Number one, we either don't notice them anymore, which is not what I think it's talking about,

but more so they become foreign to us, that they don't matter to us as much.

That as I and as you as followers of Jesus Christ, as we seek to know him more, then there

are things about us, the way we view ourselves, the way we view our lives that begin to change,

that as we continually experience the grace of God in our life, that there are things in

this world that become foreign to us.

And as we talk about forgiveness, there's going to be a way that the world defines forgiveness,

and there's going to be the way that the Christians define forgiveness.

Scripture defines forgiveness.

God defines forgiveness.

And this parable that we just saw this cute little cartoon about is going to give us some

impossible challenges to face when it comes to forgiveness.

And so as we dive through this, as we long, what I want us to be able to go ahead and say

from the very beginning is this, if the way that I've always thought is going to be the

way that I continue to think, then sanctification is going to limit us.

That you and I, we have to come to a point within ourselves to say, God, not only change my actions,

God, not only change my words, but God, to the very core of, even to the point of the way

that I feel, God, change my emotions if I'm going to pursue fully after you.

You know, this parable kind of brings up the resonating truth in my life.

You've got to practice what you preach.

And this week has been a journey, a painful journey of seeing that maybe there's a little

bit more disobedience in me than I would like for there to be or admit for there to be.

But, but Jesus tells us very clearly, right?

Like, if you love me, you'll obey me.

And what we're going to draw from this this morning is that forgiveness is a command and

a requirement of God.

And I didn't do a very good job of this at the first service, but I do want to, I want to

start off by saying this, not only have so many of us been forgiven, but there are so

many of us in this room that have been victims.

And as we talk through some of the stuff that we're going to talk through and think through

some of the stuff that you're going to think through, I really hope that where your heart

leads you is into the difficult spots and into the difficult places and in the difficult

people, that to forgive someone is a hard and painful process to go through, that there are

men and women who are sitting in this room who have been abused, taken advantage of, lied

to, hurt, assaulted, and kind of go ahead and give you the end of the message, right, of

what we're going to drive toward.

It's going to be, yep, you still forgive.

And that's a very hard, complicated, difficult thing to do, but what we see in this parable

is Jesus requires it from us.

So let's start reading Matthew 18, starting in verse 21.

It says, then Peter came up and said to him, Lord, how often will my brother sin against

me and I forgive him?

As many as seven times.

And Jesus said to him, I do not say to you seven times, but 77 times.

Therefore, the kingdom of heaven may be compared to a king who wished to settle accounts with

his servants.

When he began to settle, one was brought to him who owed him 10,000 talents.

And since he could not pay, his master ordered him to be sold with his wife and children in

all that he had in payment to be made.

So the servant fell on his knees, imploring him, have patience with me and I will pay you

everything.

Out of pity for him, the master of that servant released him and forgave him the debt.

But when the same servant went out, he found one of his fellow servants who owed him 100

denarii.

And seizing him, he began to choke him saying, pay what you owe.

So his fellow servant fell down and pleaded with him, have patience with me and I will

pay you.

He refused and went and put him in prison until he should pay the debt.

When his fellow servant saw what had taken place, they were greatly distressed and went

and reported to their master all that had taken place.

Then his master summoned him and said to him, you wicked servant.

I forgave you all that debt because you pleaded with me.

And should not you have had mercy on your fellow servant as I had mercy on you?

And in anger, his master delivered him to the jailers until he should pay all his debt.

So also my heavenly father will do to every one of you if you do not forgive your brother

from your heart.

And this is a heavy parable.

This is a heavy parable that plays out into a catastrophic consequence in the life of the

individual who is rebelling against the king or the master.

And it all starts with a question that Peter asks.

And if you know who Peter is, he's one of the disciples of Jesus.

And I firmly believe that as you had all of these different personalities, a part of this inner

circle and relationship with Jesus, that Peter desperately longed for the approval of Jesus.

I believe that he deeply, deeply loved him to the point to where, I mean, this is the guy

that goes after a trained group of Roman soldiers with a knife in order to defend Jesus.

And so I think within his heart is this desire to please Jesus, to prove himself to Jesus, and

to be obedient to Jesus.

And so he asks a question.

How many times, Jesus, do I personally need to forgive someone or have to forgive someone?

And then Peter gives his own answer.

Now, the video said seven times, 70, the passage that we just read said 70, seven times.

Let's just say the answer doesn't matter.

What Peter does is he exceeds the culture.

So Jewish culture during this time said that if you wronged someone, they were obligated to

forgive you three times.

So imagine, like, you've got this conflict with someone in your life, and you do something,

they have to forgive you.

You do it again, they have to forgive you.

You do it again, they have to forgive you.

The fourth time, you're done.

Whatever consequences you face, you face.

Whatever happens in the brokenness of that relationship, it's broken.

And so Peter comes and is trying to balance through kind of some of this stuff we're talking

about, right?

Like, what does it mean to follow Jesus in my culture?

And so he obviously knows three is not enough.

So he comes to Jesus, and he says, well, then how about seven times, right?

Like, is that this deep layer of obedience to you?

And then Jesus answers him.

His first answer, when he gives the number, helps us understand this, that forgiveness is

never given a number.

That's the point that Jesus is making.

Forgiveness is a continual journey that we walk on as we forgive others.

Because whether it's 490 or 77 times, who in here is counting the whole time, right?

So that's the point that Jesus is making.

It's the point that we're going to see and understand through the gospel.

But then the point of the parable is going to be this from Jesus, that forgiveness should

come from the heart of the individual who's been forgiven.

Now, the servant did nothing wrong or illegal to the other servant.

He did what the law required.

He did what society expected.

But Jesus is going to drive home this point that if you've been forgiven, then you should

forgive.

And all of us as followers of Jesus Christ, what is rooted in the doctrine of Christianity,

that we stand with hope and we proclaim.

And God hears your prayers and he hears my prayers and our praises rise up to him and they're pleasurable

to him.

Why?

Because we've been forgiven.

Like it all based in that.

So for us sitting here in this room should be a group of people that forgive.

So the king, at the very beginning, the servant comes to him.

King calls.

He's going to call his accounts in order.

And there's one servant that owes him a lot that we focus in on.

Now, the sum of money that is owed in today's currency would be a little bit over $1 billion.

Now, I don't know if you've ever gotten a letter from the IRS, right?

Typically, they're not good.

They always make you a little sick when you get one in the mail, right?

A handful of times I've gotten one and it's always that we found an error, you owe us this

much more money.

And it's like, oh no, here we go again, right?

But imagine you get something in the mail today.

And it's that you owe, through something you did, $1 billion.

There's no repaying that.

There's no coming back from that.

The life you live, the life I live, it is over.

And so the servant, he looks at the master knowing that he can't repay it.

And he says, have mercy on me and I will repay you.

And here's what the king knows, he can't repay him or else he wouldn't be a servant.

And so the king looks at this man who in desperation is appealing before him and he knows that he

can never repay.

And so instead of attempting to have him do something which could never be done, that he could never

fulfill, he cancels it and he forgives him.

And this is the gospel.

This part that happened right here at the very beginning of the parable is what happened when

you and I came before him with every sin, past, present, and future.

That was more than we could ever forgive, more than we could ever go back on, more than we could ever repay.

And God, through the blood of Jesus Christ, made the record clean.

And it's the beauty of the hope of the gospel that we find.

So that we're not going and trying to figure out how to get everything back and right standing.

God says, you can't.

So I will through Jesus.

So this guy should be leaving pumped and excited.

One billion dollars wiped out, completely clean, set to live a new life, moving on forward.

And then as he's traveling, there's another servant that passes by him.

And he owes him some money.

So he goes and he confronts him.

Now, he just owed a billion and it's gone.

And the servant owes him $5,000.

Now, let's be honest.

$5,000 is a lot of money.

I don't know anybody that's getting offered $5,000 and is going, no, thank you.

Right?

I don't need that.

No, no, no, yes, please.

I'll take that very, very happily.

Right?

So there's a, we don't want to minimize what's gone on.

There's been an offense that's there.

But he's been experienced so much more than was there.

So you would think, well, he's been forgiven.

And so what's owed to him is a fraction.

So he'll forgive that.

But the scripture tells us, no, that he begins to choke him.

He wraps his hands around his neck.

And I got this picture of this this morning as I was reading through.

So just imagine he's holding him down and his hands are around this man's neck.

And he's squeezing as tight as he can because he's so angry that $5,000 is owed to him,

even though $1,000,000,000 has been forgiven.

And he's squeezing, he's squeezing, he's squeezing.

And the guy's begging for his life.

Begging for his life.

And he says, no, you're going to go to prison because I'm going to get what's mine.

I'm going to get what should come back to me.

And people hear about it.

People see it.

They start talking about it.

And some of them report back to the king what happened.

And so the king calls him back in.

And the king's livid.

And he has the wicked servant punished.

Scripture tells us until he can pay back the debt.

But the word that's used there implies that the king knows he'll never be able to pay it back.

Jesus says, we, as those who've been extended mercy, even though we don't deserve it,

should change us at our core, that we extend others' mercy,

even though we feel like they don't deserve it.

So, go forgive people.

You know, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

But this has been done to me.

Well, go forgive people.

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.

I don't know that I can do that.

But go do it.

And here's the question that I began to ask myself this week.

I want to begin to battle within my own life, in my own walk, in my own journey,

in my own relationships with people, as I desperately want to know God and please Him.

Why is forgiveness so hard?

And I think it's because of what we talked about at the very beginning.

That you and I, the church, has bought into the lie of forgiveness.

And we've established the lie of forgiveness of the truth of our life

instead of the truths about forgiveness.

So, quickly, I want to share with you guys four lies and four truths about forgiveness.

Lie number one is this, the lie that we've bought into.

Forgiveness hurts me and helps them.

We oftentimes live in the false reality that forgiving someone benefits the offender

and not the forgiver.

Like that they're good and we have to continue to suffer.

Through this.

It's the heart of Peter's question.

When they've sinned against me, God, how many times do I have to get hurt and get hurt and get hurt again?

The law tells me three, I'm going to say seven, am I good after that?

And Jesus says, not continually.

Over and over and over again.

And the lie is this, that if I forgive someone, that it is going to hurt me and is going to help them.

As believers, when we forgive others, what happens is this.

We break the tension between us and them, but we allow the tension to exist between them and God.

That as we extend forgiveness, what we leave them with is the opportunity to wrestle with what they've done before the Lord.

Because the truth is this, forgiveness brings healing.

When we forgive, we empower ourselves to release what holds us back.

Think about the last time you were angry.

Were you in a good spot?

Emotionally, were you good?

Spiritually, were you good?

Physically, were you okay?

No.

Because what anger begins to do is it becomes to drain and drain and drain.

You know, the truth is, just as the debt that you and I owe Jesus could not be paid back on our merit, on our behalf,

so too those who have hurt you, they cannot take it back, they cannot make up for it,

they cannot repay it, their debt to you cannot be paid.

And so the only action that will bring an end to the internal battle which you face in this is forgiveness.

Not restitution, we'll talk about that in a little bit, but in forgiveness.

You see, the truth is that when you forgive, you set yourself free.

The second lie that we believe is this.

Forgiveness is easy.

That's a lie that we believe.

It might not be what we impart on ourselves, but it's what we impart on each other.

I don't know how many times I've heard the phrase given to me in advice,

you just need to forgive and move on, right?

You ever heard that?

You ever tried to do that?

It's complicated.

It's hard.

It's hard.

It's hard to just forgive and to move on.

Now, here's what I would argue.

That within your ability and my ability in and of ourselves, true forgiveness is impossible.

That in our depravity and in our sin and in our human nature, you and I cannot do it.

But Jesus calls us to it.

And so the truth of forgiveness is this, that forgiveness is a work of God.

Forgiveness is a work of God.

When true forgiveness takes place in your life and mine, the anger's not buried, it's gone.

And forgiveness takes place when God removes the anger from our hearts.

So many times, we think the process of forgiveness begins and ends with two people sitting down trying to work through their difficulties.

But here's what I want to tell you.

True forgiveness begins when the person who has been hurt falls on their knees before God and begs God to do something.

It's the work that God does.

You understand this.

In your journey of being hurt, in your journey of being taken advantage of, in your journey of being abused, they cannot repay you.

Only Jesus can restore what was taken from you.

And that's what we begin to see.

The third lie that we believe is this, that forgiveness victimizes me again.

That when I forgive someone, I'm just simply allowing them to hurt me again and again and again.

And now, I'm doing this to myself.

But forgiving others does not turn you into a doormat.

Forgiving others does not take your voice away.

Forgiving others does not make you weak.

For when you forgive an offense, you're not giving the offender the right to abuse you again and again and again.

And also, as we think through these in our lives, forgiving others does not remove protective boundaries that you've placed in your life.

Yes, there are people who have hurt me.

Yes, there are people who, if they were in my life in the way they were before, they would hurt me again and again and again.

Forgiving them does not welcome them back into my life without the boundaries to protect me.

But forgiving them does say, I can release from my heart what you've done and allow you to have this between you and the Lord.

Forgiveness does not victimize me again because the truth is forgiveness does not mean reconciliation.

It's so important for us to understand.

Forgiveness is not reconciliation.

We hope that reconciliation comes, but forgiveness is not reconciliation.

So what's the difference?

In order for reconciliation to take place, there must be mutual trust that's there.

That's not forgiveness.

That's not forgiveness.

The other person needs to change in order to be reconciled.

The other person does not need to change in order for you to forgive.

The other person doesn't have to change for you and I to acknowledge that they no longer have control of our life.

Reconciliation does not have to happen in order for you and I to realize that within us, they do not control my mind, my thoughts, my physical activity,

that I have been set free from this to walk in the fullness of my relationship with Christ.

That's what forgiveness begins to look like.

Because the last lie is forgiveness is condoning.

Forgiveness is condoning.

Understand this.

When the man first appeared before the king, the king never said it was okay that what he did.

The king never looked at the crowd around him and said, ah, you guys just forget about it.

It's not a big deal.

In fact, go get him even more so that we can give even more to you.

You see, that's what we think forgiveness is.

We think forgiveness is living free of consequences.

We think forgiveness is allowing them back in.

We think forgiveness is giving over and over and over again.

The king in the very beginning in that moment said, no, no, no.

We have to deal with this and in my grace and in my mercy, here's how we're going to deal with it.

I'm going to make the accounting problem go away even though it negatively affects me.

Strike it clean.

But you know this is what was done.

He never wants the king condones what was done to him.

And the hard part, I think, for so many of us to pursue after is a truth that comes with forgiveness.

Is that forgiveness is confronting.

Forgiveness is dealing.

Forgiveness is working in the situation and not pretending that it's not there.

That's what forgiveness is.

In both instances, the king calls him back before him.

And so Jesus calls us to forgive, but he calls to confront.

And then that confronting is where the growth happens and where the growth takes place.

And here's the deal.

I know it's hard.

I know it's painful.

I know it makes us vulnerable.

But Jesus says that all of us who are known by him and who are called by his name have been forgiven beyond a billion.

And what's been done to us in the light of his glory and grace is minuscule in the gospel.

Several years ago, I was at a conference.

There's a guy named Francis Chan who was there, and I'll never forget this.

And he was talking about what we have rights as.

And as American citizen, and we should in the country that we live, we think about our rights a lot.

What we can do, what is owed to us, the standing in which I have.

And gathered in that auditorium was close to 80,000 people, and they were from all countries all over the world that were gathered in there for this conference.

And Francis Chan said, look, he said, if we're going to understand that we live out the truth, right, that the things of the earth will go strangely dim in the light of his glory and grace,

then here's the rights that we have.

Here's the standing that we have as we are sojourners on this earth, that this earth is not our home, but our home and our eternity is set with him.

He said, two things that can never be taken away from us.

So there's only two that the Bible guarantees.

Number one is no one can take away from you the fact that you're a child of God.

You can't even remove it from yourself.

You and I, the blood of Jesus, seals us in relationship with him, and no one can take that away from us.

Set and sealed, praise God for all of eternity.

He said, that's right number one.

And he said, right number two is this.

You have the right to suffer for the glory of God on this earth.

So go and do it well.

Just struck.

And when I take that, and I look at it in the light of forgiveness,

and I think of the people that I had to think through this week.

People who have done things to me, who have done things to my wife, who have done things to my kids.

People who have sought to attack and to abuse.

And I look at what they've done to me.

And then I look at what I've done to Jesus.

And Jesus' words on the cross, as he hung there, bleeding and naked, as those who tortured him.

Jesus' words.

Father, forgive them.

They know not what they do.

And that's forgiveness.

For so many of us, you've got the 5,000.

And it's holding you back.

And it's time to let it go.

Because you've been forgiven for the billion.

Would you pray with me?

God, we thank you so much for who you are, for what you've done, for your love for us.

Lord, we thank you of your forgiveness and your grace that you give us.

We thank you that it comes freely.

Not because we obtained it.

Not because we earned it.

But that you gave it.

Lord, even before we were created, you made a way for our sin, for who we are.

So that, Lord, even before we mumbled the words, I'm sorry, I repent.

Lord, I'm desperate for you.

You had made the way for us through the power of the resurrection, through the work of the cross.

Jesus, I pray for all of us that are gathered here in this place, where we're online,

or that where this conversation really begins is not who do you go from here and forgive,

but the conversation begins with, do you know that you've been forgiven?

It's just a question that I ask for everyone.

Do you, have you received the forgiveness of Jesus Christ?

Have you received what he's given you?

Because one day we'll be like the servant that's been called before the king,

and we've got to make right the account.

And we're incapable of making it right.

And the only way that the debt has been paid is through the work of Christ.

And so do we begin with, have you received, have you accepted the forgiveness of Christ for the sins of your heart?

Every head bowed, every eye closed.

I want to ask a question.

It's just me.

If you're here in the auditorium, don't worry, nobody can see you on camera.

If you're at home, we can't see you either.

I know this week I've had to work through, I'm still working through,

some people that I need to forgive in my life.

And I recognize that it's hard, it's difficult, and that I desperately need Jesus.

So here's what I want to do before the band starts playing, I want to be able to pray for you if that's where you find yourself this morning.

If you know someone in your life, maybe from five minutes ago or from 50 years ago, and they've hurt you,

and you can't live in that forgiveness, you know you need to forgive them and you just can't do it.

Would you be bold enough in your faith, confident enough in your standing in Christ, just to raise your hand?

Just leave them up there for a second if you don't mind.

I want to pray for you guys.

God, I thank you.

The people who are acknowledging the struggle that they have,

where they recognize within themselves that this is not something they can do through their own work or their own power,

but they desperately need you through the working of your Holy Spirit in their life to help them,

to enable them, to empower them to get to forgive.

So Lord, in your kindness and your graciousness,

Lord, as they seek to obey you and to pursue you,

Lord, I pray that this heart of forgiveness,

that this seed that is planted in their hearts will begin to manifest and grow and blossom,

into something absolutely wonderful and beautiful.

Whereas those that have been forgiven by a billion can understand what it means to forgive those by a thousand.

Lord, and as we walk out of here in the newness of life,

that the earth, it does grow dim in light,

in light of your glory and grace.

So Lord, they have no more hold on us.

The chains have been set free.

The anger, the bitterness is gone.

And Lord, it's just you.

It's just you.

So Lord, teach us how to forgive.

Teach us how to love.

And may it come out of a heart that has been forgiven.

Jesus, we praise you.

We love you.

In your name we pray.

Amen.

Thanks again for listening to the Willow Ridge Church weekly podcast.

We hope that you enjoyed listening to this week's message.

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Transcription by CastingWords