From Striving to Surrender: Leading with God at the Center | Kristen Stockton

In this deeply moving and spiritually grounding conversation, Coach Jen sits down with Kristen Stockton—a woman who has not only led at the highest levels, but has walked through the hidden fires of leadership, identity, and healing.

Kristen’s story begins where many high-capacity women quietly find themselves: achieving, leading, carrying… yet internally weary, misaligned, and disconnected from the deeper rhythm of God. What unfolded for her wasn’t a strategy—it was a surrender.

Through a pivotal retreat experience, Kristen came face to face with unhealed wounds, buried shame, and the weight she had normalized carrying for decades. And in that moment, everything shifted. Not through striving harder—but through releasing control and allowing God to restore what strength alone never could. 

What she shares in this episode is both profound and practical:

• You don’t have to strive your way into purpose—you can be led into it.
• Peace isn’t found in doing more, but in learning how to be with God without performing.
• Resilience is built not through pressure, but through rhythm—daily renewal, stillness, and surrender.
• The very areas you’ve been carrying alone are often the ones God is inviting you to release so He can restore them.

Kristen introduces a powerful reframe for ambitious women: what feels like pressure, burnout, or resistance may actually be a signal—not to push harder—but to realign.

She also offers a tangible pathway forward through her Restore, Rebuild, Rise framework—helping women identify where they are out of sync, rebuild their capacity from a place of divine rest, and rise into leadership that is anchored, sustainable, and Spirit-led.

Perhaps most powerfully, this conversation reminds us:

You were never meant to carry it all.
You were meant to walk with God—and let that relationship shape everything.

If you’ve been leading, achieving, and holding it together… yet sensing there is more—more peace, more alignment, more depth—this episode is your invitation to pause, release, and begin again.

Connect with Kristen, take the free online assessment and get 10% of her book using this link. https://kristenstockton.myflodesk.com/morefromrestore

Learn more about the Lioness Community, Jen's coaching experiences and how to nominate someone for the podcast at https://www.jenportercoach.com/

Creators and Guests

Host

Jen Porter

Jen Porter is a faith-centered coach and podcast host who empowers women to live boldly from their identity in Christ, rooted in truth, courage, and holy confidence.

Guest

Kristen Stockton

Executive strategist and faith-driven advisor helping women move from burnout and striving into aligned, Spirit-led leadership

What is Lioness Women: Rooted in Christ?

Welcome to Lioness Women, a space for faith-fueled women to connect with their purpose and amplify their voices. These Lioness Conversations highlight purpose-driven women who share how their faith in Christ shapes their leadership, courage, and calling. 🦁

Hosted by Jen Porter, leadership and empowerment coach, this podcast shines a light on women who are leading with wisdom, strength, and grace — in boardrooms, businesses, ministries, and movements around the world.

Through raw, inspiring conversations, we explore how women of faith are building legacies, overcoming fear, and transforming their industries with bold vision and unshakable belief. If you’re ready to rise higher, lead with purpose, and stay rooted in Christ — this is your community.

Faith-Based Leadership | Christian Women | Women of Faith | Christian Podcast for Women | Kingdom Leadership | Spiritual Growth | Eternal Impact

Jen Porter (00:00)
Hey friends, welcome to the show, Lioness Women Rooted in Christ. I'm your host, Jen Porter, leadership and empowerment coach for ambitious and heart centered women who want to put God at the center of everything that we do. You can find out more about the lioness community and the work that I do, as well as you have an opportunity to nominate somebody for this podcast. If you, if you have a woman's voice that needs to be heard in your life.

You can nominate them on the website too. It's jenportercoach.com. You're in for a treat today. There are women who know how to lead. And then there are women who have walked through the leadership fire and carry something deeper because of it. Today, you're about to meet one of those women. Kristen Stockton is an executive strategist, leadership advisor, and founder of Restore, Rebuild, Rise.

guiding high capacity women out of burnout, striving, and hidden shame into spiritual resilience, emotional health, and alignment with God's truth. With over 30 years of experience, she brings both strategic clarity and a depth of wisdom that reaches beyond performance. Through her work and her devotional, when strength isn't enough, Kristen offers a powerful invitation.

You don't have to strive your way into purpose. You can be led into it. Kristin, it's an honor to have you here. Welcome to the show.

Kristen Stockton (01:34)
Thank you, Jen, it is an honor to join you today.

Jen Porter (01:37)
I'm so glad to, I'm excited to hear more of your story. I know we had a fantastic conversation and I'm just excited to learn more myself, but also share with the audience. I think your story is very inspiring and I'm so curious how you've navigated where you are in bringing that, you we have this shared passion of bringing the spirituality.

deeper into everything that we do, our work, our leadership, the way that we influence others and how we operate every day. And I know what's something that's really important to you is walking with God, being led, as opposed to pushing forward and being the one in control, right? So tell me a little bit about, let's start with

Rebuild, restore rebuild rise. Where did that come from?

Kristen Stockton (02:32)
Thank you.

It didn't come from a business idea. You know, it came from recognizing a gap I lived myself. I was on a retreat. A friend of mine had invited me to a retreat with a lot of other executive women who are building their own companies or they're in companies or they're leading ministries or nonprofits. And I was excited to go because that's kind of my thing. I love developing others and being around others.

And the important lesson for me to learn in that moment was this was not for me to pour into others, which is my natural inclination. This was really about me, the Lord recognizing I needed to rest. I needed to recalibrate. I needed to get realigned and I didn't know it. There were places in me that had still been broken and need that were very tender that I wasn't recognizing.

and that I came into this retreat thinking I was going to connect with other women. It was going to be one of those beautiful fun moments and it was, but it was also one of those moments that took you to your knees and made you realize some of the areas of your life that you still haven't released in order for the Lord to restore them and in order for you to do the things that you needed to do.

Jen Porter (03:49)
Kristen.

I can only imagine how many women can resonate with that. And what I find is that it takes so much courage to surrender in those moments because we want to operate with our regular mode of operation and how vulnerable it is to let go and even to recognize there's some, there's some wounds, there's some tenderness, there's some damage.

Kristen Stockton (04:13)
Yes.

Jen Porter (04:19)
that God wants to do some work for me in. So will you say more about where you were finding yourself? Because it seems like you were caught off guard a little bit by that experience.

Kristen Stockton (04:30)
I was. It was a really interesting moment because I had spent years kind of operating at a high level, helping organizations and leaders and helping other people navigate complexity and identify their career goals and purpose and do all of that. But I knew...

that I carried a lot, but I never really recognized the impact that the weight that we carry.

pressure that that puts on us and it doesn't have to be work pressure or it doesn't have to be things that we carry within our workplace. I one of the things I carry for a very long time that kind of came out during this retreat was the relationship I had with my mother.

who had passed away when I was 30, and this is 20, almost 28, 30 years later, that I'm still grappling with some of those issues. And it came back to my identity and the misshapen identity that I carried for a long period of time, some shame, there was some...

shame that I had carried from a prior relationship that went really bad. And I blamed myself for the things that had happened and carried that with me. I talk about that in the book. actually had experienced a sexual assault from someone who I had known and that kind of weighed heavily, even though I felt that I'd gone through all the things to kind of get healed from that. There were still lot of tenderness from there.

from other relationships. And what I experienced in this retreat was interaction with some beautiful women who kind of prayed over me and who specialized in really listening and leaning into women and helping people get really close to the Lord in those moments and releasing all of that to him. having...

special moment. And so it was in that healing, that release of all of that, that finally opened up the gateway for true healing and true restoration and a deeper intimate walk with the Lord because having conversations with him about ways that I needed to be healed and to inviting him into that moment. so

Jen Porter (06:46)
Mm-hmm.

Kristen Stockton (06:53)
You know those the same patterns that I recognized in myself I saw the other women who are around me everyone moments throughout that whole retreat You know where they had that that one-on-one time with the spiritual advisor and the prayer time and and we all can see each other's wounds and tenderness and celebrations and euphoric moments right all throughout that week and so we were all strong and capable and

Jen Porter (07:00)
Yes.

Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (07:22)
And we all had stories of how others rely on us, our teams, our families, our children, our workplaces. And this was a moment where we could just release that tension and just come together to, out of the isolation that we sometimes put ourselves in, because we feel as if nobody else really knows what's going on.

Jen Porter (07:42)
Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (07:46)
We don't always feel in a place where we want to share it all because it is a very vulnerable place. And so we become internally stretched and over time we become misaligned. And so as a result of what I, the transformation I felt in that moment, that restoration, in fact, it was out of that retreat and out of this process that I...

Jen Porter (07:57)
Hmm.

Uh-huh.

Kristen Stockton (08:09)
felt clear that this was something that I couldn't just deal with later, that it was something I was being asked to step into. And I knew that all of the things that had happened in my life, the Lord was going to use those for His good and His glory and my good. And it all kind of synergized around that pivotal moment and the clarity that I had.

through the engagement of other women and the prayer time I had.

As someone who naturally kind of thinks ahead and plans and ideas and wants things to happen really quickly, I had to learn the difference between moving with God and getting ahead of him. Because coming out of this, I was excited about what I had learned about myself and the experience and I wanted to deeply share it with others. And then that became a journey of how to do that well and how to step into the next phase of being a leader, but leading

Jen Porter (08:44)
Yes.

Kristen Stockton (09:09)
leading

with my faith as opposed to separating my leadership and the work that I was doing from the relationship and the alignment that I wanted to have with God as the center of it all and to step into that obedience and slow myself down a bit to do that well.

Jen Porter (09:11)
Yeah.

So many things are coming up for me. One, as I hear you share that story, when you describe the women who were with you in that transformative moment and who prayed with you, I'm thinking that's what you do for others, right? But isn't that always the way, right? We're so accustomed to giving to others that we often neglect our own needs. we don't, I think we just don't want to admit

how much we do need. I'm curious, what do you find, like as a pattern with women who are strong, aren't yet at that point of surrender, what makes a woman willing to surrender to God? Do you see a pattern of, is it, you know,

What makes it worth it?

Kristen Stockton (10:21)
I think it requires a few things. One is we can become pretty aware that we're running on empty. We feel it. We can feel that we are weary, things feel heavy, we spiral more quickly. And...

What I've seen in myself and what I've seen with others is a deep desire to want to have a closer relationship with the Lord, but not really sure how to integrate it with the rhythms of our daily life. And so therefore it feels

like something we have to, another thing that we have to do and another area of our life that we don't do well. And I think sometimes that perfectionism comes in there where we try to project manage, if you will. And I think it comes from over-functioning. So what often happens is this.

Jen Porter (11:06)
you

Kristen Stockton (11:23)
idea of almost like a vicious cycle where we see a need and we want to fill it and we think we just have to work harder or we just have to be stronger in that particular area.

and we don't recognize the rhythm of renewal that we need to have on a continual basis. We schedule it and it's something that we have to build as a daily practice in our rhythm and when we do that renewal becomes much more an alignment and a rhythm that we can keep up with. But because we, I think sometimes we feel like we just have to project manage our relationship with God in our spiritual walk.

Jen Porter (12:04)
So true.

Kristen Stockton (12:04)
Yeah.

and how does it fit in and I can block this time on my calendar and I remember one morning or one of the practices that came out of this retreat which I do to this day was we got up in the morning and we kind of came in for devotionals and of course everyone comes in with their Bible, their notepad and their pen and really the guide, the director of that morning said I just want to sit here and I want you to breathe and she lit a candle.

put

your Bibles down, you don't have to do anything. And in that moment, I thought, you don't have to do anything. And I think that the recognition of

kind of the opposite effect. The thing that we think we need to do is probably the thing that God is telling us to stop doing. And so we feel like I need, you know, I wrote a devotional, so I love devotionals and there's a place in your life for devotional, but there's also a place for putting everything down and just sitting and...

having just that time to invite the Holy Spirit into that moment, into that presence, and not feel like you have to do anything. You don't have to perform. You don't have to sing. You don't have to pray. You don't have to read. You can just sit there and invite.

Jen Porter (13:16)
you

You're saying

you're doing that rhythm now. This is part of your natural rhythm.

Kristen Stockton (13:24)
Yes, yes.

Natural rhythm is in the mornings. know, I, there are days where I, when I really feel like I need that renewal, it is actually about not doing any of those things that we put in our spiritual checklist, read the Bible, read the scripture, pray. Like sometimes it's just sitting there and inviting the Lord into the space and saying, Lord, what do you have for me today? And then being quiet and listening.

Jen Porter (13:48)
Yeah. Listening. How long have you been doing this?

Kristen Stockton (13:53)
I've been doing this now for about seven years, so kind of building it into a practice. So a couple of the things that have changed for me is that, one, people recognize the greater peace that I have.

Jen Porter (14:00)
And what has changed for you?

Kristen Stockton (14:13)
And I am more agile in my ability to bounce back from setbacks because I have reset this rhythm and I've recalibrated kind of what that intimacy really looks like. ⁓

Jen Porter (14:29)
Can I pause

there? Because I really want people to grab hold of what you're saying, because this is a big deal. You're saying you're a person who is wired to be productive. You're wired to move quickly. And you found a new practice, which I'm guessing was not the easiest thing for you to do. Probably still isn't the easiest thing for you to do. But you've found a way to be quiet and be still with the Lord.

Kristen Stockton (14:41)
.

Jen Porter (14:56)
And what you said was, I've never heard anybody say this exactly like that. You bounce back from setbacks. Certainly the piece, piece is huge. Like, yes, let's capitalize that. But also to be able to bounce back from setbacks more quickly. Wow. That's really profound. Will you say more about that part?

Kristen Stockton (15:17)
Yes,

sure, absolutely. So I'll give you an example. I would say prior to kind of building more of a practice of being more in his presence and kind of honoring that presence and being quiet. Not every day is just sitting still and quiet, but I build that in.

so I have more of that restorative time where I don't have to do feel like I have to perform my face in a time block in the morning before I have to go anywhere and it can be like five minutes, 10 minutes, it doesn't have to be a whole thing.

Jen Porter (15:42)
Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (15:50)
But I will say before that time, I was so rushed and it would end 10 minutes out of like the normal time. Something would happen, an email, a phone call, and it was as if I've never prayed in my life before. Either the reactions that I have, the response that I have, my ability to like handle things. I thought this is crazy. I just spent an hour in, you know, scripture and prayer time and doing this, you know, Bible study. And, you know, an hour later,

it's as if like none of that even happened. It wasn't, it wasn't sinking in and it wasn't, it wasn't kind of in ingrained in me. And so as a result, you know, one thing would lead to another and you know, attitudes and decisions and things of that nature just, just continue to feel off. And I thought, I feel like I'm doing all the right things, but I'm feeling off. And I, now that I have this new rhythm, my, I have such

a better in-tune-ness with the Lord, if that's a word, where I feel that there's this greater connection and I can feel like I can be in his presence and I feel like it carries with me. And now it's not separate as a separate time. It's actually a rhythm that happens throughout the day. And so now when there is a setback, something doesn't go well or, you know,

client backs out of a contract or instead of having the worries and the weariness and the spiraling, I can bounce back from that with kind of more clarity and an ability to kind of push through the challenges that come up. One season as a result of this, I

Jen Porter (17:30)
Mm-hmm.

Kristen Stockton (17:35)
lost an opportunity, financial opportunity from a business standpoint, and my brother was sick and, you know, very close.

to me and he ended up passing away. But through all of that, I felt like I was able to withstand and hold myself through that experience from a deeper place of feeling connected with the Lord, feeling connected to who I was. I didn't fall back to the same patterns that I had before. And it's because I was, my inner world

is now more aligned with my assignment, what I'm called to do, my purpose. And I have this rhythm that can sustain the piece and my purpose.

on an ongoing basis. I, was from this that I built kind of the restore framework that I teach people because there's this, there are these steps that I had found myself going through and that became kind of my practice to kind of continue to do that, to understand the patterns that were draining me and causing a lot of the response and the reaction and the

Jen Porter (18:37)
Mm-hmm.

Kristen Stockton (18:48)
kind of overdoing everything and replacing that with a much more sustainable kind of rhythm and realignment. you know, kind of when you put that on repeat and you do that, it becomes a part of your ebb and flow of the day. You build that inner resilience because you are now anchored and rooted in something much stronger than

Jen Porter (18:51)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Circumstances.

Kristen Stockton (19:17)
Yes, and

what's going on around you. And so it just gives you that greater peace and capacity. And that's just what I want other women to have. I want them to be able to understand the things that are getting in the way, to be open to that renewal and to rebuild from a real place of divine rest. Because I really believe the sense of urgency that the Lord put on my heart to, you know,

Jen Porter (19:39)
Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (19:47)
bring this into the world and kind of live it for myself, but also help others with it, is because he has called us to do so much more than we are allowing ourselves to do because we feel like we're...

Jen Porter (19:51)
Yes.

Kristen Stockton (20:01)
tapped out and wants to restore the areas that are holding us back that we haven't realized yet because he's got assignments for us. He's got things he wants to do as women in the kingdom. He has called us to lead in all of these different spheres of influence, but we can't do it if we're tapping ourselves out because we feel like we're just too stretched.

Jen Porter (20:02)
Yeah.

One of the things that you shared with me is God comforts, but he doesn't just bring, it's not just for the purpose of being comfortable. He actually commissions us. He's commissioning for us. I love how you said that. And what I hear you saying is, it resonates that we have to, we teach from a place that we've experienced. We don't have much to give if we have not experienced.

the things that we're sharing with the world, right? And you've experienced it yourself and now you've built this platform and this community and these experiences to help other women have the fruit of what you've seen. It reminds me of, you know, it's been about a year for me. It was last April that I made the decision, had made the decision, that God inspired, like God compelled me to stop striving.

I was working so hard and I finally threw my hands up and I kept hitting wall after wall. It was like I just hit a season where nothing was working and I was exhausted by the trying so hard in my own strength. didn't know, I thought I was relying on God. Sometimes it's so hard to discern but I made the decision to surrender. I threw up my hands and I said, I surrender. I'm letting go.

Kristen Stockton (21:43)
Thank

Jen Porter (21:45)
And

we drive, right? You be the CEO of my life and of my work. And the fruit of that, now, was that comfortable? Absolutely not. Was it, you know, when people ask how things are going, is it comfortable to share those things? No, it's actually not. But on the other side of it, what I can say is that I have way more peace. My relationship with my husband is better because I have more capacity for him, you know, for the things in our family.

Kristen Stockton (21:49)
us.

Yeah.

Jen Porter (22:13)
because I'm not pouring so much into an area that God didn't really align me to do. And what you said about your capacity to bounce back, God has strengthened my heart. He's given me a greater capacity for the things of the world, for the things that come in a way that would have rocked me. I think would have just...

shaken me to my core and I would just have crumbled in the past. I just didn't have that resiliency. But that's the other thing that God built over the last year is resiliency.

Kristen Stockton (22:47)
Yes, yes. And I will tell you, the before when I had lost a job, it was a loss of job, but then we had COVID and I was trying to build a business and it was just it was one thing after another. And so like this, I was in that place, like I can't take this anymore. I don't know what else to do. I feel like I'm doing all the right things. keep hitting the wall and you know,

Jen Porter (23:13)
Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (23:13)
next thing, one thing after the other. And so in the similar season, once I released and released and surrendered all of the areas, and I asked him, what are the areas, part of the process was what are the areas that I'm not seeing that I still need to be healed? And the other thing I will share, one of the things that makes

Jen Porter (23:25)
Mm-hmm.

Hmm.

Kristen Stockton (23:38)
what I am in.

building different is I believe in the power of community. Yes, one-on-one is a beautiful thing, but I couldn't always recognize the things that I needed. Others could see it and others kind of frowned. And so the other thing we as women and one of the things that I want so much from this community is to be this strong community for women to come together so that the transformation isn't

Jen Porter (23:50)
Right.

Kristen Stockton (24:07)
in isolation and it's not about, you know, kind of getting over things and, just feel better or if I just have more faith, I mean, come on. You know, you can have a lot of faith, but it's thinking differently, leading differently, making decisions differently, and being able to recognize, I cannot pick that back up again.

know, there are areas in my life as a caregiver, my husband has significant health issues and disabilities and so while I'm out there working to kind of care for all of us, I also have to have capacity to love him in a different way because of the health issues he has and the chronic pain that he has and some of the limitations that he has. And so...

part of my over-functioning was trying to kind of manage our world to keep him from having too much more pain. So I would over-function to take over things that I wasn't supposed to be doing. And you know, that is a constant reminder, but if I don't have a community of people who know my story and who can hear that and say, Kristen, it sounds like you're picking some things up you put down a while ago. Like you have to have people around you.

Jen Porter (25:18)
Yeah, we need each other.

Kristen Stockton (25:20)
We need each other. And

I think women are really craving a space where they can come in and...

a place that is spiritually grounded and take them to a place that is practically sustainable, where they can practical wisdom and things that they can actually do. so part of the process is once we kind of get through that area of where he's restored it, it's then rebuilding our capacity in a different way to your point, right? So you have the time for the things that are

Jen Porter (25:40)
Mm-hmm.

Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (26:00)
meaningful for you and and and not feel like I have to strive and over over indulge or overwork in a certain area and pushing and pushing and pushing because that it can bring in that that same pressure valve that then gets really tight and if we don't have

Jen Porter (26:17)
Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (26:21)
the right rhythms to know how to kind of reset and renew. can continually burn out. And so it's really anchoring and to be rooted into those areas is just really important.

Jen Porter (26:36)
Well, I know

one of your superpowers, one of your gifts is being able to recognize where others are over-functioning, where others are taking on more than they're actually designed for. You're right, we need one another to see ourselves. We're like a mirror to each other, right? To see ourselves. It's way easier for us, think we're wired to be able to attune to others really well. It's harder to attune to our own selves.

So you're right, we need people to do that. How do you, I just think this is such a fascinating tool that you can guide people through in your program. I'm curious to hear how you do it. Like what would someone who is experiencing the restore, rebuild, rise, what would that experience be like? How do you help them identify the over-functioning and maybe the misshapen identity too?

Kristen Stockton (27:28)
Yes, so.

I'm so glad you asked. So one of the things that bring in my toolkit from my leadership development days, I am big on frameworks and assessments. So I built an assessment. It really helps you assess the shift and alignment with God and where you're out of sync. And so when women take the assessment, go through a series of questions, and then it summarizes and you get a report that

gives you, there's like three categories that typically the women fall into. And then we just do a little debrief on it and I run through, it'll identify kind of the key areas. So maybe it is aligned with the framework. So for some, they are very mature in their faith and in their walk.

And so for them, they might be ready to kind of rebuild and embody kind of a different way of leading and very visionary and kind of ready to move in that area. For others, they might need to work on that realignment and establish that rhythm and the surrender. And so the assessment helps us identify kind of a starting point, right?

And then we have conversation around that. And so just when they take the assessment, they'll get kind of a customized result and provide some kind of practical things that they can do to kind of deepen their awareness of where they might be stuck and always can have a connection call with me to kind of debrief and figure that out. And then through that process, we can just kind of go deeper and

build, find and identify ways that they can build some different practices into their lives. mean, for me, the whole thing around...

trying to have people over function in their faith. And if they're prone to over functioning already, we have to dial things back because they're striving for excellence. They put a lot of pressure on themselves. They're managing all kinds of outcomes. And so we have to really do a lot of work to kind of dial all of that back so that their relationship with the Lord is different from the relationship with the world.

Jen Porter (29:44)
Hmm.

Kristen Stockton (29:47)
and it's a constant reframing of, it reminds me of the scripture.

whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is righteous. So it's kind of like, whatever is peaceful for you, whatever is slow, like we're dropping that, whatever you're going to pick up, I want you to ask yourself, is this mine today? Is this something I have to manage? it's just putting some practical steps into their day.

Jen Porter (30:15)
Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (30:16)
And I love to be able to share with them when they come into my world, just little verbal coaching prompts. You sometimes that well-planted question that you have to just stop and ask for yourself through the coaching experience helps people. yeah, that's I see that happening again. I'm going to go back and you just build habits, slow, small habits that you can you over

Jen Porter (30:40)
Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (30:41)
time. But through the assessment and then aligning it with the framework, it really helps identify a starting place and then we kind of build from there.

Jen Porter (30:51)
So the assessment, is that the one that's on your website? So it's free. That's amazing.

Kristen Stockton (30:53)
Yes, yes, it's free. It's a free

and it's free and it's easy. There's a little

Jen Porter (31:01)
Mm-hmm.

Kristen Stockton (31:03)
Start off with that video and I pray over everyone because I'm big at prayer and I don't care if it's between two screens and you are a thousand miles away and I prayed like two years ago and you're hearing it the Lord delivers exactly what you need to hear. You need to hear it. So I just trust he guides everyone to go through that so it helps you know if you're leaving from peace or pressure you can take this assessment it takes maybe 10 minutes to go through the questions and answers. It's completely

Jen Porter (31:16)
Yes.

Kristen Stockton (31:33)
confidential I get you get their responses I see them but really in service to help people find a starting place and then once you once you do that you'll get a series of just short emails with some Follow-up that you kind of do their little meditations or prayers or things to think about and

Jen Porter (31:38)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (31:58)
usually set up a time with me to do a debrief and kind of answer questions and see if there's something more that we want to do together. And then the other thing is I invite the women to kind of come together based on kind of the results so you get to pick the best.

Jen Porter (32:13)
Yeah. just

so that people really understand what you're offering, which is incredible, a free online assessment, which is going to be really revealing and enlightening, then they have a choice that they could schedule time with you and debrief, go deeper in the results, understand them more. And then do you...

Do you decide together what would be the right next experience for them? it one-on-one, bringing them into a group? What does that look like?

Kristen Stockton (32:46)
Yes, exactly. once we do the assessment and they...

talk about kind of where they are, what their needs are, and I recommend we can do some sessions one-on-one together, but I always recommend, hey, join one of the circles because they align with other women. I carefully curate them, so you get to be in a group that's really small, and we kind of go a little deeper as a community together over a period of time.

We usually go through over seven months and we meet and there's discussion, but there's also prayer and there's connectivity. And then women kind of have others in their world that they connect with and they can connect with outside of the circle and just build that relationship and to do that. my big dream is to see this grow and expand and be able to have a retreat where we can come together in person. And I live in Northern Virginia.

anybody who's a listener who lives in northern Virginia. I do these in person and I

but I also do them virtually. And sometimes, you know, women wanna love connecting virtually. We're used to that in a virtual world. And if when I can do them in person, I do them in person, or I bring gatherings together in the comfort of a quiet place, we rotate them and just have that fellowship time together. And it's very special and women really love it because it's that sacred space that they can have.

Jen Porter (33:58)
Mm-hmm.

Kristen Stockton (34:22)
take off their mask. This isn't about leadership development. It's not about your day job. And it's really about aligning yourself in a way that you actually have capacity for all the other things that you really are driven and that you want to do. And I help you figure out where that needs to be, what that looks like next for many women.

Jen Porter (34:46)
I'm guessing that you're really gifted at building trust quickly within a group. I would also imagine that that's hard for women, particularly high achieving, very successful, know, women who are caring a lot and in some cases can't always share a lot about what they're doing because of the nature of their work. How do you build that trust with these women?

Kristen Stockton (35:10)
Yes.

One of the reasons why I always wanted to kind of do things one-on-one is they build that trust with me and then I get to know the women individually and then I can kind of curate and kind of build the camaraderie around the group. But I spend a lot of time upfront when we meet to really ease people into an opportunity to share. It does take time for people to build that rapport, but they're all

One of the things I've noticed about women, particularly Christian women, in all the places where I've gone together, where people don't really know each other, whether it's in person or virtually, they don't really know each other, but we have a unity because we are...

We have our unity in our faith and our rootedness in Christ and his love for us. And so we create that space. I pray into that space. I spend a lot of time making sure that we have a strong presence, that people can really kind of feel and be palpable. And then we allow people to just be spirit led and guide into where they feel more comfortable sharing.

openly and vulnerably where I am I lead with that because I that I you know I'm setting the tone but bringing the other women together and helping them find ways to connect and because I try to do that around women who are kind of in the same place based on

where they showed up in the assessment and the things that they wanna work on, it makes it a lot easier because they already know that they're gonna be around a group who's kind of in the same place that they are. And then once they start sharing their stories, just in the moments that we've been here, we both have shared stories that were so similar. And we all have that in common. And so I encourage people to take a leap of faith and be able to join a community like that where you can really transform

that intentional sharing and be able to build that with others because I just think it enriches our walk and our ability to bounce back and to be resilient when we have it together.

I have women who I've been in these communities with and who I've led and they're in my text stream and all I have to do is send them a message and say pray and I know they've got me covered. And so that's the other important part about this. So women who commit, who I invite into this need to know that, you we, you grow based on how you share and if that's a comfort place for you, great. If it's not, then we can just stay one-on-one and get into it when you, when you feel more comfortable.

Jen Porter (37:47)
What's coming up for me is I was part of a spiritual community where there were these deep experiences that we shared together, but everyone left their titles at the door. No one, there were no questions about what do you do? Where do you work? What do you lead? What should the mission that you're leading? And it was so refreshing to, because I think one of the hurdles is comparison. And so that,

Kristen Stockton (37:58)
Yes.

⁓ absolutely.

Jen Porter (38:14)
of eliminates that where we're not, you know, speaking of identity, our identity is in Christ. And so it's not about the job that we have, you know, what we're leading. And that I think that the anonymity of what we do professionally creates space for us to find our commonalities and go deeper in the spiritual experiences and not performing, right? We can set that aside. Is that

Kristen Stockton (38:34)
you

Jen Porter (38:41)
similar to what you do.

Kristen Stockton (38:43)
Absolutely. In fact, there isn't any place on the assessment or restore framework where I ask people about, what are your biggest people challenges in your workplace? None of that comes into play. And I think that's, I'm so glad you raised that because that's a really important point. Like one of the things that I hear from the women that I talk to is,

Jen Porter (38:53)
Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (39:02)
I don't want to show up with my title. I want my mask. I want to take that mask off. I want to... And this is not about... It's about showing up being the real you. Because one of the things that I have noticed about women, and I noticed it myself, I shared it in my first story, we come to give back. And we have to learn how to be a part of things where we receive.

Jen Porter (39:20)
Mm.

Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (39:27)
So one of the ground rules in the communities that in the circles is that this is not about you solving each other's challenges. We're not here to solution for each other. We're taking that out. This is about realignment. So sharing about your how you are doing in realigning and developing that rhythm and encouraging one another, praying over one another.

sharing the experiences and what you can, what you take from somebody else's experience that you can learn and grow from. That's, that's what it's really about. It's about building that community where we feel encouraged and we have each other's back. It's not about telling someone how to fix something. It's really, and sometimes it takes a while to get people into that mode where, that's kind of how I facilitate it, where you share.

or you're going to share something and our job as listeners is to be the listeners and to be encouraging and edifying and that's the moment that we're in to support people kind of where they are. ⁓

Jen Porter (40:33)
Beautiful.

Kristen, what an

incredible integration of your faith this has been. And how have you evolved in offering this to these women?

Kristen Stockton (40:51)
So one of, think the biggest testament of my evolution is writing and evolving into now kind of integrating all of this into the book that I...

it's going to be released soon, Wind Strength isn't enough because strength has been kind of a survival strategy for me and for many, and it kind of, works until it doesn't. And there comes that point where the strength alone just starts to break down internally. And so for me, taking this to the next level is creating these opportunities to bring the stories into real life so more women can get.

Jen Porter (41:34)
Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (41:34)
equipped.

With it, it's just another vehicle. But the next level with a lot of the cohorts that I'd love to be able to do is to formulate a retreat and to be able to design a retreat that can be a place where women who've kind of gone through the framework and have gone through this can kind of come together in community with others.

Jen Porter (41:46)
Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (41:56)
have that ritual, that rhythm, that reset, that realignment that they need so that they can continue the process of renewal and opening their heart to what God has them to do. And quite honestly, I would love for women to want to take this and replicate it. I don't want this to only just be me. I want women to kind of come through this and say, well, I have a group of women and they can circle and they can take this

Jen Porter (41:59)
Yeah.

Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (42:23)
replicate it and use the materials and help others in their their circle so that it it isn't something they just kind of come to me for. I actually believe that my mission isn't really about me at all it's really about equipping the women to go out and

Influence to take this and I give you the tools and you can take it and influence others influence at the gates and the seats there you are the women that you're surrounded with take what you've learned and go multiply and I will help you do that if as you've used this and it's worked for you don't let it sit on a shelf don't let it just be something you did for a few weeks let it be something that sparks you to then go and help others and that's

what you know that's going to be the greatest gift back to me is that if I have you know 10 women who go through this and they and they are inspired and they've built the they've built the tools for themselves and they go take this restore framework and the embodiment of it all and go replicate it somewhere else I just I don't want this isn't about me it's it's about facilitating what God has given me

grow and develop. And it's for me it's all about rebuilding from a deeper foundation and my identity is really clear and so I don't mind you know giving things away and sharing things it's not about it's not about

You know, he gets all the glory and I just one day for him to say, do you see all these women standing up here? Do you see all these daughters who've influenced other daughters? It just started because one person, you know, came through my world and now they're multiplying it in other places. And that's going to be the greatest gift for me. And that's kind of what sustains me and drives me is that I know that for every one woman, there's probably another hundred on the other side of her that she's going to influence because she step.

Jen Porter (44:20)
Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (44:22)
to make the change, to renew and re-line and rebuild and then rise, rise and grow and I can't wait to see what the Lord does with all of us.

Jen Porter (44:29)
Thanks.

can't think of a woman who this wouldn't benefit. Who wouldn't need this? I'm so curious, are you going to do a circle for the devotional? Like do the devotional together as a group?

Kristen Stockton (44:48)
a great idea. Actually, when it comes out, I'd love to be able to do that. And one of the things I'm going to build into my next offering is that when they come into the circle and they do that, they get the book. So it's an additional rhythm. And the book in and of itself is so special because I never grew up thinking I would be a writer. And I have kind of a 12th grade English teacher who might agree.

Jen Porter (45:02)
Yeah.

Yes!

Kristen Stockton (45:18)
But what was interesting is I had started writing kind of coming out of the retreat, there was a practice that one of the leaders had told us, know, God has a vocabulary for you.

and I thought that was unique because I'm an auditory person. I love to speak and talk and vocabulary is special. And so one of the exercises they had was look up, take your birth date, your month date, year, and just explore scriptures that align with that date. So I did that and I found Colossians 2.7.

which aligns with my birthday and it was so random but it was such a beautiful scripture and I write about it in the devotional because it talks about being like therefore kind of rooted in your faith as you are always taught.

And it reminded me of my family legacy. My name, Kristen, actually means follower of Jesus, believer of Christ. And so I looked at the verse and my name. was as if the Lord was just saying to me, this was just for you. And that moment taught me that there is a God who loves each of us so uniquely and so

Jen Porter (46:25)
Oh wow, Kristen, of course.

Kristen Stockton (46:43)
that is so powerful and I just want others to be able to experience him in their own unique way with him the way I have. ⁓

Jen Porter (46:43)
Hmm.

Yeah. Kristen,

it's essential.

Kristen Stockton (46:58)
I start,

yes, it is essential and it's amazing the way he speaks to us. so part of the intimacy that he has with us is that it's all unique and different. We can all read the same verse, but it's going to land differently. And so one of the things that I started to do is explore more verses and more words that he had for me. And over a couple of years I had compiled them all. And then it was funny about six months ago,

Jen Porter (47:04)
I know.

Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (47:26)
like,

you know, I'm hungry for going deeper. And I, you we get to a place where we need to go deep. I think deep calls to the deep. And if I'm going to go deeper with others, I need to go deeper myself. I this on the surface, I had to just go deeper. And I was in a text exchange where some of my friends were kind of sharing, Hey, I'm looking for a new book to read or emotional or whatever. And people were sharing things. And I said, well, Lord, which one of these? And he's like, no,

Jen Porter (47:40)
Yes.

Kristen Stockton (47:56)
write your own. So I said, what you mean? goes, no, want you to write it. And so I went back to the original writings I had been worked on and I realigned them. And One Strength is in and up is a product of that. And it's coming out in the next couple of weeks. So it really is, it's a

Jen Porter (48:19)
Amazing. Amazing.

Kristen Stockton (48:24)
beautiful alignment of devotionals made for women who carry the weight of leadership. So it is kind of written from that. There's my stories, but there's a scripture passage. There are 27 of them. And there's a beautiful thread that goes through each of these. And

Jen Porter (48:31)
Okay.

Kristen Stockton (48:45)
of my story is woven in them as examples of this journey that I've been on and the journey that I think the Lord is calling other women to go through and be on as they explore their relationship with him and where he wants to root them in his words specifically and how he wants them to

build that relationship with him to overcome some of the things that they might need to overcome so that they can rise into that daughter that he was called them to be and to the transformation. I wanted to encourage and transform and make it real in the way that we lead, in the way that we love and how we live our lives for him.

Jen Porter (49:14)
Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm seeing is women should buy the devotional, experience it for themselves, and then give it as gifts to the women in their life who need it. Because women, we need strength, we need to understand our identity, we need to feast on the Word for that resiliency, you know, to overcome everything in front of us so that we can do what God calls us to do.

Kristen Stockton (49:39)
Yes. Yes.

Jen Porter (49:57)
Nothing else matters, really.

Kristen Stockton (49:59)
Right.

come together with others and read it. And there's lots of questions and grab a journal and say you don't miss out the book and you can write your own story along the sideline, but just gives people an opportunity to read, reflect and pray.

Jen Porter (50:00)
Amazing.

Kristen Stockton (50:13)
over a period of time and to walk through some really interesting scripture passages that you may not always come across, but there is definitely a pattern in them and it's just, it's a beautiful way to show how the Lord has touched me and where he can help ⁓ permeate through some of those really tender spaces that we have yet to allow him into.

Jen Porter (50:18)
Okay.

Mm-hmm.

Yeah. What would you, I want to leave the audience with something from you. When, you were to think back on who you were is seven plus years ago, before you had this experience that really brought so much transformation, you know, knowing how to be strong, but not how to restore, really striving and not having peace, burnout.

Kristen Stockton (50:40)
surrender it.

Jen Porter (51:03)
trying so hard to please everybody and do hold all the balls in the air. What would, what advice, what, what encouragement would you give the women who are in that place right now?

Kristen Stockton (51:13)
that you are enough and I would say that

the more that comes against you.

It is actually because there is so much more in you that the Lord wants to come out and the enemy of our soul knows that. And so I always look at when the opposition is coming at me and things are coming at me, that opposition is there for a reason. And it's because that the calling and the purpose that is deep inside of you is...

is being held back and that we need to really be able to get on top of that.

in order for it to come out. I feel like sometimes we experience that spiritual opposition because there's something so deep inside of us that the Lord wants to use us for and the enemy knows it and he wants to keep us in that box and circling and spiraling in ways that make it harder for us to get our footing and be able to come out and so and to rise up into what he's called us to do.

I feel like one of the things that I had to come to terms with is that deep down inside I knew I was meant to do more. I knew that the messes in my life...

You know, we're there for a purpose and I need to figure out how do you want to use those? And when he calls us, we have to really walk in obedience with that because we all experience things that he wants to use. We have to be willing to surrender him to use that. And we all know what that one thing is that we have been holding ourselves back from. But when we release it to him, he can really use that. But sometimes the opposite

Jen Porter (52:43)
Mm.

Kristen Stockton (53:04)
that we feel, that pressure that comes at us, is really the enemy trying to keep us back because he knows what will happen when he is out of the way and we are out there in full circle for the Lord and for using the things that he wants us to use. Yes.

Jen Porter (53:19)
And rising up.

Obedience is success. Obedience, that's what God asks of us is to be obedient. You shared with me, you may know the next 10 steps or your next 10 steps, but what you've come to realize is that obedience is way more important. Yeah. Beautiful.

Kristen Stockton (53:27)
Mmm. ⁓

getting

kind of bad never works out. I tried it. There's a couple of things that like, oh, but you know what? He's so gentle and you know, and he course corrects us and he can course correct us. And sometimes it's just the timing. We get ahead of him and we don't wanna wait.

Jen Porter (53:47)
I Try as we might. I know.

If we're willing, if we're willing. Yeah. Yeah.

Hmm.

Kristen Stockton (54:06)
even when we're kind of building businesses or we want the career move or we want the relationship and we're always wanting things out of his timing and if we just are patient, if we wait well, or obedient with that, he rewards us mightily and he lifts us up.

Jen Porter (54:24)
He does.

Kristen Stockton (54:26)
And he sets us apart and for the work that he wants us to do and I think the most important thing we can do is just take each day and know that the grace that we have is just for this day. We don't have to be planning six months ahead. He knows you have to just stay rooted in his time and in that daily practice so that it is just focused on today. And when you catch yourself

Jen Porter (54:42)
Mm-hmm.

Kristen Stockton (54:55)
pre-planning or dwelling on the past. That's that. You're not going back there.

Jen Porter (54:58)
Mm-hmm. Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (55:01)
He's already moving you forward. And one of the things I love about the coaching process is that it takes people where you are and moves you forward. You don't want to go back and excavate things. The past, it's really about where you are today and where you want to be forward. You can learn from the way things used to be. We remember things so that we can see how far he's brought us. And it's always in service to the brighter day, where we are today.

Jen Porter (55:03)
Okay.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Kristen Stockton (55:28)
and where we're going. Sure, it's never to dwell and to stay stuck in a past cycle. It is always to just remember how the Lord brought you through that thing. Okay, here we are. Let's go forward.

Jen Porter (55:28)
Mm-hmm.

you

I love how

you've created so many different kinds of experiences for women to step into from the online assessment to one-on-one coaching to group experiences, the circles. I wanna make sure people know how to find you. So kristenstockton.com and it'll be in the show notes about how to spell that correctly. And I would highly recommend people do that online assessment and just do a check-in.

Kristen Stockton (55:57)
Yes.

Jen Porter (56:06)
with yourself about how you're doing, where you are and how you want to grow and to get some of that feedback. And then schedule time with Kristin. She's offering herself graciously to do a debrief, to go deeper in what you're learning about yourself so that you can move beyond where you are right now, get unstuck, move from striving to peace and ultimately do what it is that you're created for, how God designed you.

Kristen Stockton (56:32)
Yeah.

Jen Porter (56:34)
what he has

in store. mean, what a privilege it is to walk with God and partner and co-create with him for his kingdom. It's just this amazing mystery that he offers us. So thank you for everything that you're doing. KristenStockton.com, check it out. And I just really appreciate you sharing your story, your work, and leaning into obedience every day because people are benefiting from your obedience.

Kristen Stockton (56:47)
Yes.

Thank you. And thank you, Jen, for creating the space for us to have this conversation. It's been delightful. And I really appreciate spending time with you and chatting with you. This has just been a wonderful experience for me. So thank you.

Jen Porter (57:16)
me as well. It's

been wonderful to get to know you. Until the next episode, the lioness in me sees the lioness in you.