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Welcome to Happening in Henderson, the weekly show where hosts Mark and Joleen serve up Henderson’s news with equal parts insight, cynicism, and sharp-edged humor. From local headlines and community events to crime updates, school district drama, weather forecasts, sports highlights, and brutally honest restaurant reviews, nothing is off limits.
Whether you’re a lifelong local or new to the 890xx life, this is the place to stay informed… without falling asleep.
MARK: Welcome to another episode of 'Happening in Henderson', the only podcast recorded in a city that's legally the second safest in America, but apparently can't handle two camels without having a full-blown identity crisis. I'm Mark, your guide through the beige landscape of suburban irony, and I'm joined as always by Joleen, who I'm pretty sure is just three iced espressos in a trench coat at this point.
JOLEEN: I'm actually four espressos deep today, Mark, because it's Monday, March 30, 2026, and I've realized that Henderson is basically just a high-stakes simulation designed to see how much dry heat and overpriced real estate a human being can take before they start hallucinating. Honestly, I'm doing great. Everything's fucking fantastic. I'm upbeat, I'm cynical, and I'm ready to talk about why our city council is currently losing a war against a pair of animals that have been domesticated since the bronze age. It's truly a peak Henderson moment.
MARK: It really is. We're going to dive into the camel catastrophe, the fact that we're all being priced out of our own zip codes, and the absolute insanity happening with the Golden Knights. But first, if you actually like this show for some reason, make sure you like, subscribe, and leave a comment telling us your favorite place to hide from the sun. You can also reach us at henderson@thehappeningnetwork.com if you've got a tip or just want to tell us we're assholes. We're fine with either.
JOLEEN: Mostly the tips, though. We've got bills to pay. Anyway, let's get into the top headline that has everyone in a tizzy. We're talking about Moses and Abraham. No, not the biblical figures, though they might as well be given the drama. We're talking about the two camels that have lived in Henderson for thirteen fucking years without a single complaint, only for the city to suddenly decide they're 'exotic' threats to our master-planned sanity. Nancy Rouas, the owner of Petting Zoo 2 U, is facing this massive crackdown because a new animal control officer decided to cite her for owning illegal wildlife.
MARK: I love the logic here. Moses has been here since he was six months old. He's been to church nativities, senior centers, and local schools. He's basically a Henderson celebrity. But now, because of some bureaucratic dickhead, he's being classified the same way you'd classify a goddamn mountain lion or a chimpanzee. The city's claiming they're following U.S. Department of Agriculture guidelines, but Nancy's been getting inspections every six months for over a decade with no issues. Suddenly, the rules didn't change, but the officer's mood did.
JOLEEN: It's the most Henderson thing ever. We have a petition with over twenty-two thousand signatures to 'Save Our Community Camels', and yet the city is still dragging this toward a Planning Commission hearing on April 16th. They're looking at her whole property, which has like a hundred and twenty-five animals on an acre and a half. Sure, that sounds like a lot of pigeons and chickens, but if the neighbors aren't complaining and the camels aren't exactly jumping fences to terrorize the local Starbucks, why the hell are we wasting tax dollars on this? It's just a permit play, Mark. They want their cut of the camel pie.
MARK: Everything in this town is a permit play or a real estate scam. Speaking of which, have you seen the latest market numbers? The median home price in Henderson for early 2026 has officially hit five hundred thirty thousand dollars. That's a three point two percent jump from last year. We're in what the experts are calling 'The Great Housing Reset', which is just a fancy way of saying 'good luck buying anything if you don't have three million dollars and a trust fund from Seattle'.
JOLEEN: It's insane. The 'California Exodus' and the 'Washington Wave' are hitting us harder than ever. People are fleeing Seattle and San Francisco because they get a ten percent pay raise just by moving to a state with no income tax. They're coming here and buying luxury homes in MacDonald Highlands and Ascaya for three million bucks because they think it's a bargain. I saw a listing for a four thousand square foot place with an infinity pool and Strip views, and some guy from Bellevue probably bought it with pocket change he found in his Tesla.
MARK: And while they're doing that, the rest of us are fighting over the scraps. Inventory is tightening, and homes are selling way faster than they were a few months ago. We've got about three months of supply left, which means it's officially a seller's market again in neighborhoods like Green Valley and Anthem. If you're a buyer, the only 'window of sanity' you've got is that you can actually ask for a home inspection now without the seller laughing in your face and taking a cash offer from a shell company in Delaware.
JOLEEN: At least we've got some new development to look forward to, right? Station Casinos is moving forward with that six-hundred-room resort project west of Via Inspirada. Because if there's one thing Henderson needs, it's another place for us to lose our mortgage payments while eating a twenty-dollar buffet. It's going to have eighty thousand square feet of gaming space and a movie theater. I'm sure the traffic in Inspirada is going to be just delightful once that opens. I can't wait to spend forty minutes trying to turn left onto Bicentennial Parkway.
MARK: It'll be a nightmare, but hey, at least you can go to the casino to forget about it. Let's talk about the crime report, because while we're the 'safest city', the police blotter from this past week says otherwise. On Saturday, March 28th, we had a burglary reported in the nine hundred block of West Galleria Drive and a motor vehicle theft in the two hundred block of South Green Valley Parkway. It's a reminder that even in paradise, some asshole is still going to try and steal your catalytic converter or your Amazon packages.
JOLEEN: And don't forget about the ongoing investigation into the crash on North Boulder Highway that killed eleven-year-old Trinity Ward. The police released more details this week, saying she wasn't in a marked crosswalk, which is just a heartbreaking reminder of how dangerous our roads are for pedestrians. We've talked about the student safety issues before, but it doesn't seem to be getting any better. People drive like absolute maniacs on Boulder Highway, and the city's 'Reimagine' project is still only halfway done. It's a mess, Mark. A literal, deadly mess.
MARK: It's grim. And the school district isn't exactly helping the mood. The CCSD Board of Trustees had a meeting on March 26th, and they're moving forward with this 'efficiency study'. They're basically looking for ten million dollars in annual savings. You know what that means? Consolidation. They're having meetings in Boulder City right now about merging Mitchell Elementary and Martha King Elementary into one big school. People are pissed. They're worried about their kids being crammed into larger classes just so the district can balance the books.
JOLEEN: I love how they call it 'Building Brighter Futures' while they're literally talking about closing the oldest public school in Boulder City. It's such a classic corporate rebrand for 'we're broke and we don't know what to do'. Enrollment is dropping, and they're reassigning twelve hundred staff members across the valley. But hey, at least the Board approved a ten percent raise for the school police. I guess if the schools are going to be chaotic, we might as well make sure the people with the handcuffs are well-compensated.
MARK: It's a bold strategy. Let's shift gears to something that'll make us feel better, or at least more pretentious. We checked out 'The Barista Botanist' at The Cliff development this week. It's the new all-day cafe that's trying to save our souls with organic sourdough and Himalayan salt. I walked in there and felt like I wasn't cool enough to order a latte because I wasn't wearing linen pants or carrying a rare succulent. It's very 'Aesthetic' with a capital A.
JOLEEN: Oh, it's the ultimate 'I have too much money and I care about my gut health' spot. I had the Lavender Ube Latte, which was actually delicious even if it felt like I was drinking a melted candle. But the menu is wild, Mark. They've got a 'Regenerative Egg Salad' and a 'Grass-Fed Steak Sando' on house-baked focaccia with chimichurri. I'm sitting there thinking, 'did this steak have a better life than I do?' Probably. It definitely spent more time in the sun than I have this week.
MARK: They also have a 'Take Me to Greece' bowl with bamboo rice and grass-fed yogurt lemon dill. It's the kind of place where you spend thirty bucks on lunch and feel twenty percent more enlightened and sixty percent more broke. But honestly, the sourdough pizza they're doing with heirloom tomatoes and organic pesto is legitimately good. If you're looking for a hidden gem that isn't hidden because it's in a fifty-five-million-dollar development, that's the one.
JOLEEN: I'll stick to my espresso, but it's a nice spot if you want to pretend you're in a coastal town instead of a desert basin. Now, we have to talk sports, because the Vegas Golden Knights have gone full 'fuck it' mode. They host the Vancouver Canucks tonight at T-Mobile Arena, but the real news is the coaching change. Bruce Cassidy is out, and as of yesterday, March 29th, John Tortorella is the new head coach. I nearly spat out my coffee when I heard that. Tortorella in Vegas? It's going to be a goddamn bloodbath.
MARK: It's the most aggressive move the front office has made in years, and that's saying something. We're currently third in the Pacific with eighty points, fighting for our lives in the standings, and they bring in the most volatile man in hockey to steer the ship for the final stretch. I can't wait to see him interact with the media here. He's going to eat some of those reporters alive. If the team doesn't start playing better defense, he might actually fight a fan on the way to the locker room. It's going to be must-watch TV.
JOLEEN: I'm here for the chaos. The Silver Knights aren't doing much better, unfortunately. They've been struggling lately, but at least the Golden Knights are keeping things interesting. Tonight's game against Vancouver is huge for playoff positioning. We've got a narrow lead over the Kings and the Kraken, and we really can't afford to drop points at home. If Tortorella's presence doesn't scare them into winning, I don't know what will. He probably told them 'if you lose, you're walking back to Henderson'.
MARK: I wouldn't put it past him. Speaking of Henderson, let's look at the community news. Intermountain Health just opened a massive new forty-five thousand square foot clinic on Corporate Circle, right near Green Valley Parkway and the two-fifteen. They had the ribbon cutting this week. It's focused on senior primary care, oncology, and pediatrics. It's good to see more medical infrastructure, especially with how fast the population is growing. We might actually get a doctor's appointment before we're eighty.
JOLEEN: Maybe. But you'll still have to deal with the road construction to get there. The I-two-fifteen Spaghetti Bowl project is back on with a 'phased approach'. They're trying to fix the congestion at the interchange, but it feels like they've been 'fixing' it since the turn of the century. Expect more nightly closures and ramp detours. It's the Henderson rite of passage. If you haven't been stuck in a three-mile backup because of a single orange cone, do you even live here?
MARK: I don't think so. It's part of our DNA. And the weather forecast for this week is just the cherry on top of the construction sundae. It is Monday, March 30th, and it's already ninety degrees. By Wednesday, we're looking at ninety-eight degrees. In March. We're skipping spring and going straight to 'pre-hell'. Then it's supposed to 'cool down' back to the low nineties for the weekend. I'm so glad I spent all that money on sweaters in December. They're real useful now.
JOLEEN: It's disgusting. I'm already looking for a pool to jump into. But if you're brave enough to leave the house this weekend, the Springs Preserve is reopening its butterfly habitat on April 4th. It's a great family event, though they warned that they'll close the habitat if it gets too hot. Given that it's going to be ninety-five on Sunday, you might want to get there early before the butterflies decide to migrate to the freezer. It's open Thursday through Monday, ten to three.
MARK: And for the hockey fans who don't want to drive to the Strip, there's a VGK Watch Party scheduled for April 4th. It's a good way to scream at the TV with fellow fans and wonder why John Tortorella is benching our star players for not blocking enough shots with their faces. We've also got the Henderson Reads Book Festival coming up later in April, so keep an eye out for that if you're into, you know, reading things that aren't property tax bills.
JOLEEN: I'll stick to the bills, they're more frightening. Anyway, that's our look at the city for this week. It's a weird place, it's a hot place, and it's currently at war with camels. God, I love Henderson. Don't forget to reach out to us at henderson@thehappeningnetwork.com with your stories about camel sightings or coach Tortorella sightings. We want to hear it all, you beautiful, sunburnt people.
MARK: Thanks for tuning in. Stay safe, stay hydrated, and for the love of everything, don't try to pet a camel unless you've got a permit from three different city departments and a note from your mother. We'll be back next week with more sarcasm and probably more bad news about the climate. See ya.