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Your thoughts can be exhausting and can get in the way of our ability to recharge. Being aware of what we think and feel, taking those emotions captive, and making them obedient to the truth of Jesus is essential to guarding our heart and experiencing the peace that goes beyond understanding.
The episodes are the weekly sermons from 922 Ministries (St. Peter and The CORE) of Appleton, Wisconsin.
Burned Out
Week 3 - The CORE
Pastor Mike Novotny
Good morning. You learn a lot about life. I'm a piece of paper.
Especially these two thin, red lines that run from top to bottom about an inch from the very left side of the page, creating a space that we call the margin. If my research is correct, the purpose of a margin on a piece of paper was originally for mice. And I know that probably back in the day, mice would sneak into your office. They found the very edges of pages very tasty. So they nibble away. You lose the first inch of your sentence. So some genius somewhere along the way said, let's not let that happen again, and they created the margin. All yet even today, the mice aren't a problem like they used to be to the same extent. We've retained those two little red lines in the space but maybe for a different purpose. We have margins on pieces of paper for a bunch of different reasons. For example, maybe what you write in the bulk of the paper is good, but it's not great. You think of something really good that you didn't say, when you sat down to write a margin, gives you a space to add an opportunity for something better. Or say, you share your work with someone and they see a place for improvement chance to make something great. Absolutely excellent. Because no space on the page, they can add that suggestion or Improvement. But if you have a margin, they can And plus, it's just pleasing to the eye. Isn't it? Can you imagine reading a book? If the words went from like edge-to-edge top to bottom? No, Spacey never seen one of those letters. Were someone actually does that on a piece of paper? You you see in your first, reaction is Are they okay should-should? Should I call someone in the city? It's unsettling and it's stressful. So margin blank space is actually a gift in so many ways. You're in the sermon series burned out. We've essentially been talking about the good work that God wants to write into your life and the margin. He wants to bless you with. We've seen from the way that our heavenly father created us, is that he created a rules that we should work hard and serve people but then there should be space to Sabbath and breathe and rest, it's actually the way that Jesus himself lived. Loves people sacrificially and selfless like no other human being who's ever lived, but not constantly. Instead we saw in the Gospel of Luke that Jesus often withdrew to lonely places, not to do stuff for people, but just to be with the most important person, his Heavenly Father Last week, if you were here we also saw that Jesus isn't just a great example. He is the greatest blessing. He gives us the most important thing that our hearts need the love of God and acceptance of God in the approval of God. Not because we've worked so hard and done so much but just as a free gift through his life, his death on the cross and his resurrection. Jesus invited us come to me if you're weary and tired and burdened and burned out and I will give you rest for your soul. Summary, don't you to work hard and love people. But not 24/7. You have any father created you for work and rest for service and Sabbath.
What can I confess something to you? Whenever I write a sermon like this type of sermon that I have in front of me, I open up the documents on my MacBook Pro. Do you know the very first thing that I do every single time I minimize the margins. The stock says one inch on this side, one inch on the top one inch on this side, one inch on the bottom of the, very first thing I do is I click this inch down to 3/4 of an inch and then to half of an inch and then to a quarter of an inch And that's the lowest to let me go. Then I do the same thing on the right hand side of the page, the top and the bottom because I want to put a full sermon for 30 to 40 minutes. 2,000 to 3,000 words 10-point font Times New Roman on the single piece of paper is this beautiful Some of you are sitting up front so you see, okay, so we should we call somebody, but that actually happens to me. I'll be practicing a sermon after the first draft, and we know that doesn't work. That doesn't flow. Well, I thought of this other idea but there's no space to put it. There's a problem. What you don't have margin, but Let's stop judging me.
Let's talk about you.
If your last week was a piece of paper or your last year, could it fit onto a page? How much margin would there have been?
For some of you the answer is a lot, maybe for a few of you, the answer would be too much. You binged every season of Yellowstone in less than a month, you have very much margin, you scroll Tick-Tock her Instagram, every day. Um work, 250 are weak and forever. Some of us, our struggle is to persevere and endure, not quit to run, not walk the race that God has called us to But I would bet in our modern American Christian culture for every one person who struggles with laziness, there are probably five of us who struggle with burnouts. Who minimizes the margins, who squeezed in and extra commitment who pushed the hours and compromise. The rules that God has set up for our body. Are you one of those people? If someone could see your day planner or just like, watch you on a reality show, to see her schedule, would they react in the same way? Some of you would react at my printed sermon? Oh, does she need help? Should I say something? Because it's unsettling when you see a page that's filled up from edge-to-edge and it's very unsettling when you see a life that is filled up from start to finish.
But here's what I think might be happening to some of you even though you've been here for this whole sermon series even though I can prove to you from the Bible that Jesus rested. Even though that Sabbath is a huge theme throughout the scriptures even though your heart has everything it needs. And Jesus even though the father created you with rules to sleep and unplug and rest and not serve people upon even though I've preached all that. There's some of you who haven't changed a thing just yet. Same commitments. Same craziness. Same pace. Same pushing it, if we just you and I and a cup of coffee in a quiet office and I asked you, why are you doing this again? Like what last year's page was to the edge. It seems like you're repeating it for round to our. Are you doing that again? I bet you would share it in that vulnerable moments after we explored it a bit. Would be something that's very much here. And very much here.
You order pizza me, some things that you believe deep down at an emotional level, that make it almost impossible for you to slow down and stop. I would say that there are lies or half truths that you believe in your head. They're very important to your heart that no matter what I say or what passage, I quote, you won't slow down because you think you can't slow down. Now there's a whole list of lies that people like us believe that keep us so busy. I want to share just three of them with you today. So taking notes at home or you're here live your the three biggest lies. I think that lead to frequent burnouts. My number one, It has to be perfect.
Some of you do good work, you get good grades. Your boss thinks you're a good employee, but for some of us good just isn't good enough. It has to be perfect. Maybe your parents said this to us. You're still studying. You're doing fine. Your teachers love you, you get good grades but for some of you like a 88 is absolutely unacceptable. As is a 92 or 94, or 96, or 97 you have a reputation to. I see some people nudging each other right now, right? Like you're just used to it. The super high level of academic Excellence, the world would be fine. You'd still make it to Heaven. If you got to be, but you can't get to be, it has to be perfect. Also, if you are that way at work, You put together a presentation or a pitch that the numbers are strong. You're not going to get fired. You've been faithful to your job but faithful just isn't good enough. And I see perfect. And so you rewrite the email and you improve the project and you stay up late and get the laptop open in bed. You just want to not be good at your job, great at your job. Not great at your job at perfect, at your job, For somebody, this happens on social media. Some of you have to keep a perfect Snapchat streak with your friends or you would die over something, you have to pick the perfect filter. You have to update the post, can't just be okay or good. It has to be perfect. There's some marriages here. Today, I have a hunch. This is true. We're husband's checking his watch and Society. Are you ready?
Some of your thinking Pastor Mike don't don't don't go there. You think she looks beautiful. Like he's your husband but you gotta try on another dress. There's like three pairs of shoes in which look best in her work on the hair work on the makeup. It literally is taking an hour of your limited life and time. Some of you spend an hour every single day because you just don't want to look fine or average. You want to look as good as you possibly can. You want to look perfect? Thousand different ways, our education, our Athletics, not just making the team but starting not just starting. But being all conference, we're busy and exhaust, and we really don't have the time but we push it. And here's why it's very, very emotional important for us to be perfect. Probably number two. My number two is that I have to make everyone happy.
Cover this last week at a deep level, but it is such a pervasive thought. And so, personal to many of you here today, I want to cover it, just briefly again. If I could see last year's schedule, where you answer the question? How are you with the word busy all year long? If peace and joy and resting in Jesus, didn't Define your last year. It was just too much and yet we flip the calendar and you're doing the same thing again. If I would say that is the definition of insanity, what do you think? It's gonna happen to your Spirit? The same thing that happened. Last year, you're gonna you're gonna miss all the promises and the goodness, and the Peace of Jesus because you're running running running, you're exhausted.
My wife and I, and if we try to sprint side by side, the conversation is not great. We have to slow down to a pace, that's not perfect, but it's good. And we can connect, I would ask some of you why you're not slowing down. So you connect with Jesus,
And you'd probably say, well, if I change this they won't be happy. If I stop volunteering for this, I think coach my kids team. If I told my boss, I can't do as much if I stepped back from what people are used to receiving from me. If I didn't host, you know, the holiday party again. If I didn't make the famous dessert, that everyone loves to eat that. People would not be happy, they be sad or mad. And, and for some of you instead of saying, okay, well, that's how they feel. You feel very responsible for other people's emotions. Which is a destructive way to live, by the way. Instead of saying, okay, he's mad, you panic and say he's mad. And I have to fix that. No, you don't. She's disappointed in me. Obviously, I need to work harder. Nope, nope. Nope. She's disappointed. Sure period. For some of you that deep desire to have everyone like you and love you and applaud you and approve of you means you can never slow down. You'll just say yes to everything. Everyone asks you to do and there will be no exit ramp until you crash and burn. Because deep down, you believe, you have to make everyone happy
Probably number three. My number three, it's fine. Also known as I'm fine. Also known as whatever.
Well, how many weekends was your family gone to sports tournaments? Yeah, it's crazy but it's fine. How many hours do you sleep? How much coffee do you drink? Yeah, I know, but I'm fine. Some of you think deep down in your heart that God has given you a cheat code? Back when I was growing up playing the original Nintendo, there was a game called contra. So, if you play Contra and, you know, the cheat code up down, up down left, right, left, right, a, b, a, b, select start. And you get unlimited lives, you can do whatever you want. You can jump off a cliff and get shot by the enemy because I'm fine. Whatever. Have some of you think you have a cheat code to life? I go to the drive-through, I go through the drive-through. I go to the drive-through, I skip a workout at school, but I skip work on that work too much. I work too much at work too much. I never slow down and everything's fine.
I didn't take you for that. Yeah, my doctor is appalled by my lifestyle. It's kind of funny, isn't it?
No, no. But if you believe that, that you're the exception to the creators' rules that just because nothing has happened yet. Means nothing will happen. If you believe that you here you won't change out here.
So whether you're striving for Perfection, trying to make everyone in your life, happy or just thinking that you're the exception to God's rules. All of us have some lie or lies that keep us sprinting. Instead of running the race that God has called us to. So here's what I hope to do to today. I'm going to grab that book, The Bible, the Word of God, and I want to take those three lies head on I'm gonna try to push them out of your brain. Convince you with the help of the Holy Spirit and replace them, renew your mind with the truth of God's word. So you can shake free from the slavery of needing to be perfect. Make everyone happy for the foolishness of thinking. It's fine. That's our goal. Replace those three lies with three bits of God's truth. The hope that not that you would have walk-in laziness but some of you would slow down and not Sprint in foolishness. But instead of run the race that Jesus has called you to So, let's jump in my number one. It has to be perfect. I want to share with you what the Apostle Paul wrote In First Corinthians chapter 4 a time, in his life, where he was under severe criticism for not being good enough at something. The saving to list. The Apostle Paul was critiqued and criticized for not being good enough at public speaking. Shocking. Huh, you started the church in the Greek city of Corinth, apparently Paul admitted himself. He wasn't as good at this kind of stuff as other people after he left to start other churches, people came in and critique him holds a chump. I probably get enough.
He's not good enough like criticize him and critiqued him. He wasn't perfect at that craft and to defend himself in the validity of his ministry. Paul responded with these words from First Corinthians chapter 4,
He said this is how you ought to regard us a Servant of Christ. And as those entrusted with the Mysteries that God has revealed, now, it is required that those who have been given a trust must prove.
Faithful.
All that Panic that you wasn't perfect at public speaking because now I'm serving Jesus. Jesus entrusted this ministry to me. Yes, I preach. But when God evaluates me as a preacher, he's not going to say where you are perfect. Did you put any arms or us in your sentences? Could you move people to tears? Paul's could you tell the right story to get them at the end? No, no, it is required of me as one who's been given a trust that I must prove in the eyes of God, to be faithful. Here's my application for you. Let's think about the things that God has entrusted to your life. If you haven't been entrusted with the call to be a missionary or preach the gospel from a stage but I bet God has entrusted. You with some very important things. Almost a quick show of hands for how many of you has God entrusted, a physical body
Oh wait, I was waiting for you, are there? All right, so God's giving you a body? Just some things to say about it, to be faithful, to body has given you work and rest, sleep, and exercise nutrition. How many of you has? God, given a soul. He's entrusted. The soul Souls needs to be cared for with the word of God, grace and truth. How do you have been entrusted with a spouse? You married people here. Yeah, that's a sacred trust to love. As Christ has first loved you. How do you been entrusted with children? That's a sacred trust last one. How many of you have at least one? If not both of your parents are still living? That's honorable of your parents is a trust to now. Here's what really wise people know. That perfectionist forgets. If you've been entrusted with a handful of things and you try to be perfect in one of them, You probably will not be faithful with the rest of them.
I think that's probably most importantly, I'm going to say to them, so let me say it again.
If you try to be perfect in one of the things that God has entrusted to you, You will run out of time and energy to be faithful with all the things. That God has entrusted to you.
Some of you actually grew up this way, maybe you don't have a super close relationship with your dad. But your dad has super close relationship with his work.
Are you striving to be perfect? He put in extra hours, the boss loved him, he accomplished, great things, nothing wrong with doing good work. The problem was, if he strove for perfection in this area of his life and is a limited human being only had so much time and so much energy when he came home. Was he able to be faithful to the things that God had entrusted to his care? Was he able to be faithful to you? You see the Dark Side of perfection. This sometimes happens to parents, we want to be perfect parents. We want our kids to have the best life. We want them to be involved in all the things. And so, we signed up for this and that and there's lessons, and there's tournaments and there's opportunities, and there's teams to make Mom and Dad, maybe both pour themselves in their sitting on a bleacher, every single weekend. Like, we're trying to be perfect parents. But you know, what happens if you try to be a perfect parent,
I've seen this too often. You're often a very very, very Unfaithful spouse. But you're exhausted from all the kids stuff and is their time and energy for me to love you. Like Christ loves his bride. Do I have ways to show you respect and speak your love language or have the kids? Absolutely exhausted us of everything. I try to be perfect here. And I end up very Unfaithful here.
But in so many different ways, wise, people know as a limited human being. If I overextend myself in a, I'm not going to be faithful at b and c and d. And so here's Here's what scriptural. Wise, believers do. They say no to most things. They focus on the few things that God has entrusted to their care. And they know I'm never going to be the best at any of these.
Will there be better public speakers than me millions of them. Will there be a better husband than me? That's a Kim. But yes. Will there be better fathers than me? For? Sure. Will there be better athletes than me? Yes. And I'm okay with that because to be perfect the strive for it, in any of those areas would cost me. Something that matters, way too much, my body, my soul, my relationship, my work. Paul says, if God has given you a trust, it is required that we should prove ourselves faithful. So, in the name of Jesus, I give you permission to be average at stuff. The only other option is to look back in life with regrets.
When I get much older, I want to have a close relationship with my grown daughters. And that means I have to make some choices now. So they want to be close with me when they're growing. Don't be perfect. Because too much be faithful.
Last bit of advice is the bonus content.
Be careful of social media.
On social media, we see people's perfection. But there's no algorithm that rates, their faithfulness.
You see, this guy who's really ripped at the gym, or this woman who looks amazing in her swimsuit, but you don't realize it's her soul. Okay. And she neglected, her most important relationships. You see the championship trophy, the traveling team? Do you want to be like that? But do you want to be like that? Do you know, if they've been faithful to all the colleagues we see? The one thing that's going great, we don't see the four things that are falling apart. So,
People with most posts are people's Perfection, not their faithfulness. See someone up close as faithful. Who says no more than they say, yes, it was. Life is balanced and biblical, imitate them. Because God doesn't want you to strive for perfection in one calling but to be faithful in all of them.
Ready for the number 2. All right, here it is. I have to make everyone happy. The Apostle Paul in the very next verses of 1st, Corinthians 4 addresses, this as well. Here's what he says. Starting with verse 3. I care. Very little if I'm judged by you or by any human Court. Indeed, I do not even judge myself. My conscience is clear but that does not make me innocent. It is the Lord who judges me. Is that an amazing scripture? But maybe these days were kind of used to. Like I don't care if you judge me. What about Taylor Swift? Say it is going to hate you. Just got to shake them off and all that stuff. But Paul says something that is. So unlike Taylor Swift and everyone else in America, he says, indeed, I don't even judge myself. What do I think? I don't care. Do I do I think I'm a good person. This is my truth. Boss is no no you don't get to judge me, I don't even get to judge me. I'm trying to do what's right. My conscience is clear but It doesn't make me innocent. Here's this point. It is the Lord who judges me. I'm not trying to make me happy. I'm not trying to make you happy. I'm trying to make God happy.
That's the truth. I want you to write down. This is so liberating and so beautiful that I want to make God happy.
When I get to the end of every day, my goal is not to think. Did I do the things I wanted? Is everyone speaking well of me? When the number one was liberating question is is God happy? As her smile on God's face.
And I want to apologize for repeating the gospel from last week, but if you are connected to Jesus, through faith, The answer is yes.
Now I love this about the Christian faith, that's just a list of things to do. It's this reminder of what Jesus has done, that everything about you that would make God unhappy Jesus removed it and he left it there at the cross. Anything that would make God scowl instead of smile. He highlighted it to the last sin. And when he shed his blood, he pushed delete. But if you're a follower of Jesus and every single day, you wake up to it, you fall asleep to it and you get it all. Throughout the middle that God is happy is face as we love to say in the blessing shines upon us, it looks on us with favor, like it's great. If people like me. I don't need them, too, because God himself, likes me. I love it. When click people click the little Thumbs up button on my post. Don't need that to be happy God through. His son is giving you the thumbs up. We have the most amazing gift in the world. The smile of God, his presence and his love.
And if that weren't enough when we follow God Faithfully, when we do things, whether people get it or they don't Some Christians say, that's a god-pleasing decision. You heard the phrase before the Living. God pleasing life.
So maybe you set down like something that's just too much for you this year and people aren't pleased. But doesn't make God happy. You're going to go back and your previous mistakes, were you minimize the margin of your schedule and just say, no, to some things, you said yes to last year and people like why are you stepping back? Could you close your eyes and see the face of God? Says yes. I like that. Work and rest. Serving and then stepping back, that makes me happy. And we sometimes think, especially in the church world, the only stuff that makes God happy is going to church. Volunteering coming to events, but that's not true. Those things make God happy. And so, the sleeping and resting. And recharging. It was like the heavenly father just looked at Jesus when he was in the crowds and said, yes. And then, when Got in the boat to get away.
All of it was god-pleasing.
When you think of your life is like, the only stuff that makes God happy is when I'm doing doing doing. You've missed about half of what the Bible has to say. The Creator who created the rules for your body is pleased. When you take time to make something healthy Whether you're on your knees by your bed praying or at the gym lifting, both of those things are pleasing to the Lord. So I want you to see in a very big holistic way. This is the stuff all of this stuff. Is what makes God happy?
I've told some of you at this church, this story maybe four times. Now, I'ma say sorry for saying at the fifth because some have never heard this before. And it's probably the best advice I've gotten in my whole life. It has protected me from burnouts in 15 years. That I've been a pastor does bless my marriage and my children, and my body and my soul. So, real quickly. Let me tell it again. When I was 26, I think I was about to become a pastor, get a call for the very first time, my home, Pastor up in Green Bay, Wisconsin said, Mike, whatever Church you end up at wherever you get called to. I want you to go to your very, very first leadership meeting. And I want you to ask the leaders of your church. How many hours you should work? And I said, no, not gonna do that. It sounds like terrible. Advise, you know, what's the minimum? I have to put in around here, so you don't fire me or getting really angry and my pastor said, no, no, you don't get it, you could work, 60, 70, 80 hours, a week, and then you won't be at the one thing and someone will be mad at you. So, I asked them what it looks like to be faithful as a pastor. And so, I did Short version of the story. I didn't have these words for it, when I was 26, but I asked like I'm going to run and not sprinted crash. I want to be another Pastor who's amazing until he morally fails, because he's running on fumes. I want to be the guy who you love as a church, but whose wife and children don't love because he's always at church. I don't want to preach out of An Empty Soul, but times of refreshment that I've had in the word of God, not because I'm trying to double duty at studying for a sermon and calling out my personal devotion. Like, I'm gonna serve you well, for a long time. I asked The people in that room. How many hours could you do that? And they gave an answer. One guy said, 45? No, it's a 55. Someone said I could work 50, another said, 1550 once at 61 said 40. So we took the average of all the numbers. We came up with a faithful Work Week. 50 hours on scroll and Facebook, but serving people in God's word and now for 15 years. Exactly what I've done. I'll try to work hard and be faithful, but I've been able to step away before I had a number, I would always feel guilty. I could be doing more, the sermon could be better. Someone needs my help. I'll guest came to church. I could follow up. The work was never-ending. So I needed a place to not feel bad when I stopped to know that God was still smiling and I was being faithful.
I know your work is different than mine. But it's really important for you to know wherever that line is of how much you can invest when you get to the other side of it, like, God's not scowling. If you work hard to serve people in love and then you step away doesn't make you bad or Unfaithful or unlike Jesus. Actually, it makes you just like Jesus. Who for every second of his life made us Heavenly Father happy
Last but not least, lie, number three. It's fine. I'm fine. The tricky thing about that lie is that you're probably right? Right now.
It's not like if you sleep four hours a night, drink four cups of coffee in the morning, skip your workouts, this week you will die by next Monday.
It's kind of a tricky thing about seeds and fruits. You don't see what they become or what they don't today or tomorrow. It takes a bit. But for a person who's breaking the rules, that the Creator put into our body is is playing with fire, and it catches up to you soon. Maybe you've been living physically, and with your schedule, kind of like, that person who never wears their seatbelt in the car, and they're always texting and driving. It's fine, dumb rules, I don't need them. Nothing's happened. Yes.
You want readers and you're not gonna just 10 books on the burnout. Let me tell you what, I learned when I binge them. Every big story of burnout has the exact same script.
Pretty talented accomplished person who did well, their job. Had extra opportunities because they were good at their job. Said yes to those opportunities and ran out of time for a rest and Sabbath and sleep. Got more opportunities because they worked more hours until it got to the point where it stopped being fun and peaceful and joyful, and it felt like an obligation, an obligation that They Carried until they compromised until their body one day, but blew up.
I read a book by a doctor who said, she was so stunned when she needed medication for her depression. Because her whole career, she had just given it to people who are depressed, but she burned out. The amazing Pastor from up in Canada, who was respected as a Christian leader in the ministry, thought he could cheat God's rules, but he could not. And when he blew up and doubted his own faith and stopped being able to sense the presence of God or believe his promises, he realized he was not fine, it was not fine. He needed to restart and follow the simple things that we've been learning.
For many of you here today, you have blown up your life. Yet. Yes. And that is only because of the absolute mercy and patience of God.
You've been working way too much. Striving for perfection way too often. Neglecting the one and only body that God has given you and nothing's happened yet, and if so, thank the Lord Jesus, it's not too late. The before at 80 miles an hour, you go crashing into that burnout wall. God's given you a chance today to pump the brakes and slow down. And drive the car of Life at a pace that he designed you to drive. For some of you today, you need to hear this passage from Proverbs Chapter 1. I love this. It says, the complacency of fools will destroy them.
Place in situation. Something will not change, but whoever listens to me to the voice of wisdom will live in safety.
Or maybe you're pushing it all last year, all your life, you've been pushing it. If you're complacent after learning these truths from God's word and you think it's fine. Here's the promise. It will destroy you. It'll catch up to you. Something will fall apart, but because I have to be that way. But whoever listens to the voice of wisdom, the word of God will live in safety.
Is the truth. I want to put into your head to the right this now and that wise people change. Before they crash.
Today, for some of you in the room is your opportunity to change. And we could disappoint your own standards to disappoint other people and to save yourself from something that is six months. 12 months, 2 years down the road. Something you would deeply regret and wish you could come back to this Sunday in this sermon. Say why why didn't I listen? You can listen, whoever listens to me. Will live in safety. Summarize it this way. For the past three sermons God the Father his son Jesus and the Holy Spirit have been standing here and visibly on the stage reaching out compassionate arms to you.
He's the Father, the Creator said I made you. I was there. I knit you together in your mother's womb. I loved you. I know how your body works. Listen to me.
And then Jesus says, amen, dad. He says and come to me and I'll give you rest if you're running just because you want love and approval in your heart, I'm giving it to you for free. I lived and died for you. So a smile would always be on his face and the Holy Spirit said, amen and amen. Let me fill you with wisdom. Let me renew your mind with the word of God, so you don't believe these lies that will make you lose weight with way too much. Father, son, Holy Spirit, can you see? There are three phases there. Six, arms, extended to you say, we love you. We want what's best for you? We want to bless you and I watch you burn our clothes. Listen to us. My wife and I are trying to listen.
This summer, I'm going to celebrate 20 years of marriage. God one with him. And I when I met Kim, some of you don't know her. She is like a classic German Protestant. She's reliable dependable hard-working. You put a ball and Kim's hands and she will not drop it. She does what she says and she is a woman of incredible character, he pushes she's amazing woman to have as a wife. She was a checklist for her checklist and there's a backup checklist just in case she lost the first checklist for the other checklist, that's Kim. And then in 1999. She met me, I'm a box. Check her myself. I love to succeed. Try new things. Swing for the fences, do things that are Big and Grand and wonderful and really impressive. So the Box checking work, hard nose, to the grindstone met the high-achieving man. We got married, what could go wrong?
One more thing at first, I went to grad school work, three jobs. She started as a preschool and kindergarten teacher, which was some long hours, but there was enough to fit in. I was a little bit of margin for us to date and work out, but then, worst thing happened.
We had a baby.
TVs are so dumb. That was a game changer. So they're like a, just an energy and time vacuum. Like, oh, what happened to life? And now, there's really hard and then 15 months later. Whoops, Here Comes baby. Number two, and to be candid with, you wasn't funny because it almost broke us. We
We were Unfaithful sexually in marriage but we were just not faithful to the vows. We had made, we poured out everything into work. And so the kids and we just weren't, we weren't connected where she went to counseling to get help with that, by the grace of God. My parents moved into our basement. And they helped us raise those two kids. I made it possible for me to work and Kim to work and then we came here to Appleton and we tried there was a lot of margin just a little bit but now what we've seen happen to us is what some people have called The Squeeze years. Heard of them? Our kids are 13-14. They're old enough. They're involved. They have friendships. They need rides. One is in high school. Went to the basketball game and stayed connected. There's piano lessons, and drum lessons, and musical practice, and volleyball, and Club volleyball and tournaments. There's that on one side and the other side are parents who are very local and very close to us and as they get into their 70s they can't do what they used to do. They need help with the yard work and the technology and the passwords and the codes and all the updates. And so there's stuff here with the kids. It's getting busier. There's stuff here with our parents. It's getting busier and to honor your parents, not mean, just not to talk back to them. When you're 17, it means to love and serve them as their body slow down.
And our margin went from an inch to 3/4 to a half to a quarter. And we just feel it.
I'm not asking for your pity, it's a first world problem. But my wife, she does not push hard from nine to five. She pushes hard from five to nine. As she 4:00 a.m. is when she wakes up to get to the gym and read her Bible before she crashes hard at 8:42 p.m. So, this is the season of life. And the series is very personal to us. We've gotten all the things done, the balls were still in the air that we were juggling, but it's hard to rejoice in Jesus when you're sprinting too much.
And so recently, we made a huge, huge decision. My wife who probably works 50 to 60 hours a week as a preschool teacher during the school year, said I can't do that and this with the kids and us. And so she made a massive choice to move from a full-time 60 hour a week teaching job to 20 hours a week.
And if I told you that wasn't emotional, I'd be straight up lying to you. We talked about the little kids who just love Miss Kim. We thought about the parents who sent her the sweetest note, what a blessing, that you taught my kid about Jesus. We thought about the great needs of this ministry, which is growing. We need more people to serve, not less. We felt just the pressure of disappointing people and making them unhappy. The kingdom of God working for Jesus, it's our job. We're stepping back. And so, these things that we've been learning together, they matter. Because we don't want to be perfect in one area and unfaithful in others. We've taken a step and we're not looking back. And we know when we close our eyes at God's not disappointed in US. He's actually very happy.
How about you? You probably have an emotional choice to make too. You're going to feel tension of so many good things at the same time. But I say this as hard as it is in the moment, A year from now. You will not regret it. Kim. And I try to run together, most Saturday mornings. Some days, the wind is blowing pretty strong. We get to the end of the driveway and we got to turn into the wind or run with it. Really tempting to run with the wind, but If you run 3 miles, do you know what happens?
You got to run home. I'll call an Uber. I never thought I had so she and I we have this phrase. It's our philosophy of life. Into the wind. Let's do the hard thing right now. Because there's gonna come a time when we can turn around and life will be so much more enjoyable.
Would you go into the wind? Do the hard thing? Make the hard decision? It will not be easy, will not be unemotional but you will get to that moment. Will you turn around and feel the wind of God's blessing at your back? You will find the very thing that Jesus promised rest.