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A podcast for multi-skilled coaches and experts who are ready to leverage their unique expertise, create money overflow all while embodying ease. Discover how to stop forcing things in your business and start letting your natural life force guide you... so you can spend less energy, get bigger rewards, and make the kind of impact you were born to create.
It is so easy to compare yourself in business to somebody who is doing, quote, unquote, better than you thinking that they are just so successful. They got something you don't, or they already understood something you don't. You're behind. You should have been further ahead. If you ever have those thoughts, a lot of my clients have that.
Relinde:I've had that. It is so common and so easy to do that. And, of course, the world of social media and what we see and all the beautiful things that we celebrate, which is great, on the socials don't help. So I wanted to record a podcast today where I'm going into some moments of failure, and I really went in deep and looked at moments that I really, really felt like a failure in the past 18 years being in business. I opened my official business 18 years ago at the time of this recording.
Relinde:And the first business was a dance performance company, and after that, I moved on to running my online business about 10 years ago. So in those years, I really had moments where I basically wanted to disappear. I wanted to not be here. I wanted to just hide in a corner and nobody see me. I felt full of shame.
Relinde:I felt terrible. I felt sad. I felt like nothing would ever work out again. If you have ever been at those moments, then today, hopefully, is an episode that gives you strength and hope and faith and that shows you that failure doesn't mean that things are not working out for you. Failure doesn't mean that you are an imposter.
Relinde:It doesn't mean that it can't happen. It is often in hindsight, I look back and I'm like exactly that moment taught me some lessons that I needed later on. If I wouldn't have been through that, I couldn't have handled the bigger success that came later on. And, of course, you can only see that backwards. So, again, that's why I wanted to record this rather vulnerable and honest episode about failing in business in the hope that it can help you.
Relinde:And one of the first things that I wanna share is actually still with my dance performance company. So in my dance performance company, I I worked for that very long. You just have to know that it wasn't easy to get a dance performance company off the ground that when I wanted to start it, and I didn't have a earbud. I just came out of Dance Academy and I wanted to start my dance company. People really told me, who are you?
Relinde:You're too young. You're too unexperienced. And also there's already so many dance performance companies, so it's not gonna work. And I did it. You know?
Relinde:I did it. Actually, within a year, I had a company up. We sold performances. We had subsidies. It was a 6 figure dance performance company.
Relinde:Like, 11 people would work in that at times that we would be touring or making a performance. It was really, an achievement. Right? And I did it all from passion, just all from my heart because I really wanted that. But at the now I can see the end of that company.
Relinde:I didn't know that back then. I had this one performance, and there's a couple of things when I look back that led to the disaster. One of the things is that I wanted to make a performance about Cuba, and I did that. And I did that with a Cuban dancer, and I had been in Cuba a lot. I've been dancing salsa and contemporary dance in Cuba, and I really had a fascination with the dance styles and the country and the language.
Relinde:I speak Spanish, like, all the things. And I wanted to make a performance about that, and I felt like I need to dance this performance myself, and I need to keep it very simple, like a very light performance, but very in-depth. And the most important thing is fusing these different styles of dance, contemporary dance, and Afro Cuban dances, and salsa and rhythms. But I worked with somebody who advised me differently. He said you shouldn't dance it yourself because you can't be, you know, directing it and dancing it yourself, so you have to get somebody else to dance it.
Relinde:That was the first thing. And then he also said you need to have big, like, decor. So I did 2 things actually against my gut feeling, which was spending a lot of money and make creating a performance that was very difficult to move around. I don't know how it is where you are, Abbot, in the Netherlands. Performances move from theater to theater, and I could always do that quite lightly because we didn't have a big decor.
Relinde:We didn't have huge things and props and things on stage to carry around. So this performance now because I listened to somebody else had a huge decor. I needed 2 people to even like unload and offload it into a little truck. I I didn't dance it myself. So I had somebody else dance it, but she actually didn't know the Cuban dancer.
Relinde:She was just a really good contemporary dancer but not the Cuban dancer. So my initial idea was kind of different and I really listened to somebody else and that was already there. Still performance when we premiered, it was a great success. It was really wonderful and somebody saw it and invited us on a bigger stage. A stage where a lot of people would come that would be very important and influential.
Relinde:So imagine bookers are there, people that can buy the performance, people that write about it in a press. So it was this moment where, you know, you need to be seen, you need to get it great. And I don't want to go into all the details, but this was a little while after the premiere, like, about a year after the premiere. We had to fly that dancer from Cuba back into the Netherlands and, you know, they had to rehearse these 2 dancers and get quickly back into the feeling of the performance and I don't know. We had that day of the performance and just before that is, well, like, Murphy's Law, everything went wrong, costumes got lost.
Relinde:There was just so much stress and so many little things. And ultimately, the moment that the performance was danced in front of that super important audience in one of the most prestigious theaters in the Netherlands for dance, the performance just wasn't there. I could see it. I could feel it. The dancers just they just just wasn't there.
Relinde:Like, they were doing the moves. They were doing the routines. Everything was okay, but it wasn't what it needed to be. And I felt the whole audience not liking it. It's just the worst thing when you see that moments where there's suspension, where there is supposed to be, you know, where people supposed to love, poems where people supposed to be touched, things that need to click did not click.
Relinde:And I sat in the audience and I just felt it all, like, happening and I felt how it was not landing. And then when it was done, I had to talk to all these people and it's just the awkwardness when people don't like your performance and it was just a disaster. During an after performance, I just wanted to disappear. I thought this would have been the best day of my life, something that I worked nearly 20 years toward if I count all the years of training and all the, you know, things that I did to get to that point and it was just such a disaster. And the big feeling that I had there was I'm a failure.
Relinde:You see, I'm a failure. I actually can't do it. If I can't do this, I can't do anything. If I'm not a choreographer, who am I and all that good stuff. Now it was the worst moment of my life.
Relinde:And in a way, is this not a good example? Because I decided later to give up that dance company, and this was a moment where I think that seed was planted. But I didn't decide it because I knew that because I didn't believe that I could do better or that I could have a second chance. I know I could. And also the people where I worked there were like, okay.
Relinde:Now you just have to make a new one. This one is didn't get picked up. So we didn't sell it. Like, all the things all the nightmares happened. But it was more that I started to feel like I lost the joy of it.
Relinde:The big lesson I had from this failure wasn't only that, you know, I could have definitely made the next performance. Well, the big lesson was more that I hadn't listened to my intuition. So this performance became so logistically difficult. There were just so many things that were so difficult about it with, you know, having to fly in the dance or, like, not me not dancing it myself, having the big decor, needing all the stuff to get all those things were actually not what I felt it should have been. And because I listened to somebody else and started to make compromises on my own performance which then became something that I actually was too heavy to lift and it kinda broke my back literally.
Relinde:Not literally, but, I mean, kinda broke me as in it didn't work out the way it should be. That is what I feel in the end was what made it quote, unquote fail. I should have stayed with myself. Even if them people didn't like it, at least I would have really done what really aligned with me. Now I had tried to live up to somebody else's expectations.
Relinde:It wasn't really my performance anymore and then I also lost it. While the performance before that I made with much simpler means and that really stayed close to who I truly am, it was such a great success. We'd Hempstead and sold it for over 4 years all over the world. So that is one of the things, like, the big lesson there was like stay with me, like, stay with my intuition and actually go from there. And even if somebody else has a different opinion, if I know it not to be right, I'm not gonna follow it.
Relinde:That doesn't mean I'm not open, that I'm not rigid. It just means that I have to listen to what is true in my heart because I'm the creator of this company, of this performance. So that's that moment where I really learned I have to listen and stay with myself. So after when that happened and as a multiple reasons, not just this, again, I totally could have chosen to just make the next performance and continue as a choreographer. But I went to Bali, and I saw a lifestyle that just really spoke to me.
Relinde:I saw people walking working on their laptops. I saw the freedom they had, the lightness, and I had just, like, experienced these whole things with that performance. And there were other things going on in my life as I've talked as I have talked about before, and I decided that I wasn't happy. You know? At that moment that I sat in that audience where I was seeing my own performance, where I kind of felt I lost myself, where I thought it should be one of the happiest days in my life sitting in the biggest theater in the Netherlands, most prestigious audience, all the things, was the worst.
Relinde:And I said, you know what? I still want to change the world. I still want to show people, tell stories. I still wanna help people transform as I can do through making dance performances, but I wanna do it in a different way. And I don't know what it is yet, but I'm gonna do it in a different way.
Relinde:And I and I decided to listen to myself, you know, listen to my intuition, one of these big lessons that I learned, and to launch my or to start working online. Again, you know you might know this story if you've listened to previous episode. Won't go into it too much. But over time in those years, I lived in Bali, you know, taught my yoga classes, taught my dance classes, and got by and learned about online business. And one of the things I knew is that I wanted to create an online course, and I spent lots of money and time and and energy in creating an online course.
Relinde:I bought courses. I paid mentors. I did all these things. In order to make an online course, I piloted it. And then I created a course that I prerecorded.
Relinde:All the lessons, everything with so much work, edited everything, you know, I did so much work to do that. And I created a course and I met somebody who said and this is the second big failure moment that I wanna talk about. Again, I listened to somebody who thought they could really help me, and he was an online business coach for big companies, companies already doing 1,000,000 of euros in revenue. And he said, you know what? I have exactly what you need.
Relinde:I know this great agency, a marketing agency, a Facebook ad agency, and they are going to be able to get you leads for your course. So why don't you get them? And for him, that wasn't a big amount of money because he was already working with this $1,000,000 business. But at that time, I didn't have any money. Like, I was literally earning rupiahs in Bali.
Relinde:That is not a lot of money, I can tell you. I could just, you know, pay my food and rent for a cheap little place in Bali. And he said, you know what? I got you this agency, but I had gotten I had gotten a gift of €5,000. And I was like, I have that €5,000, the best thing I can do is listen to him and put this money into this Facebook ad agency and into Facebook ads, so that I'm going to sell this course.
Relinde:I took all that money and gave it to them. And like, okay. Let's do this thing. And long story short, I created everything. I created a funnel.
Relinde:I created quiz. I created emails. I created everything so difficult. Like, I build everything. Back then, it was even harder.
Relinde:I built it on WordPress. I figured out how to do it all. I built a core. Oh my gosh. So, so much work.
Relinde:So many hours. I build it all. And then we started running the ads and the ads are running and we had this launch and we had deadlines and nobody's signing up. So we're spending all this money on the ads. I just see my money flowing out and the ads agency was expensive.
Relinde:And in the end, no sales until the last hour before the cost closed, somebody bought my course. And I remember I was so happy. Like, oh god. 1 person bought my course. And if you think about it, I had spent 5,000 to that agency and they got me a €250 sale, you know?
Relinde:So it wasn't that much of a celebration, but I celebrated. And also the guy who was helping me was like, this is amazing. You validated your funnel. This is really good news. So at least I had that and it gave me that last straw of hope to keep going, yet this gets worse.
Relinde:So after that launch, losing so much money, having one sale, having one student in the course, I got I had a 14 day money back guarantee. And, again, on the last day of 14 days, and I remember so well, I was in a spa in Bali at this lovely afternoon in a beautiful spa in Ubud, and I come out of the spa. I take my phone. I look at my phone, the email, and I see a refund request coming in. This girl's sad because I wrote on the page, like, if you really didn't learn anything new, which I think was virtually impossible with that course.
Relinde:But, okay, it doesn't matter. If you really don't learn didn't learn anything new, tell us and we'll give you back your money. So she wrote, I got nothing new out of this. Everything that was in here, I already knew. I would like to have a refund.
Relinde:So she went through the whole course, wanted her money back on the last day of the refund request. Well and that was my moment where I truly collapsed. Like, the first time when I so felt as a failure, I again felt really as a failure. I think that was the biggest feeling. I just felt like I can't do anything.
Relinde:This is just all you know, it's just all doomed, and I don't know even who I am and what I what I what I am here to do in this world. Like, I went deep. Like, I had a deep, deep moment. I remember being in the shower in my apartment and just crying and sitting on the floor and just letting it all out. And I do remember one of the first things that is actually a great learning from this is that I thought I have to feel it all.
Relinde:I have to go through this feeling, and I just cried and cried, and it hurts so much. And I'm lucky enough, in that time, already learned that limiting beliefs in your subconscious mind create how you respond to things. Yeah? I already knew that. So first of all, that didn't help me because I was just pure miserable.
Relinde:I lost it all. I felt, like, ashamed, very ashamed, losing that money I got from a family member. I just felt terrible that I have wasted opportunities, that I got support from a business coach who does businesses, like, over 1,000,000 of euros. Why was I not even making this happen? And it was maybe even worse not in getting any sales than getting one sale and then somebody rejecting my sale.
Relinde:And having to give the money back, that was terrible. But even more terrible was somebody, you know, disliked the work that I put in that course where I you know, so much was onto that. So I sat on the floor, cried, cried, cried, cried, cried. And the big shift I made in this moment is that, luckily, I, again, I knew about beliefs. So this is now the work I do with my clients.
Relinde:Right? Because these are moments that I really learned how key that is. I know that beliefs and rules you have created for yourself, living your subconscious mind, and that the pain that I felt was so deep. It wasn't just about losing €5,000 and having to give a refund for an online course. This was deeper than that.
Relinde:This was, I would almost say, self hate. That sounds really harsh, but it felt like so much shame, so much, like, I'm not good enough. I'm a failure. You see I'm a failure. This is the proof that I'm a total failure.
Relinde:So what I learned and what I found out is that that was a limiting belief I had. There was a belief in my subconscious mind that I am, you know, a failure. And a part of me, of course, so many parts of me were always trying to hide that, like, not show that, like, making sure nobody found out that I'm actually a failure. But that is how I truly felt in that moment. I'm a failure.
Relinde:And what I did, again, the work that I do right now with my clients, I did the deep work around where that belief came from, where did that belief come from that I am actually a failure, And I did deep healing work around that. I showed myself that that in the core, in the essence, is never true, that that launch might fail. And in hindsight, I can see all the reasons why that launch didn't work, and why the ads weren't going to the right funnel and why the targeting of the ads wasn't great and why I shouldn't ever have, that agency. Like, all kind of practical things that I can see right now that made that, you know, it didn't work out. I didn't buy the right I didn't build the right course.
Relinde:I didn't you know, there were so many things. The emails were fantastically there was just so many things that I didn't know yet how to do, so it failed because of that, not because I wasn't good enough. It was just, you know, I didn't have the experience in place to make it happen. Also, not saying that, and I listened again to people that told me what to do instead of listening to my own intuition. So if I then am not a failure, what am I?
Relinde:You know? What is it? Like, I'm capable. I'm good enough the way I am. I'm capable of getting results.
Relinde:I'm capable of doing the things I really wanna do. I can trust my intuition. So instead, I started to work on embodying these beliefs that I needed in that moment. So not a belief that I remember working on was, you know, really, I have my own back. Whatever happens, I'm gonna have my own back.
Relinde:I'm gonna be there for me. Like, even make I make big mistakes, if I lose the last €5,000 that I have on my savings account, I'm gonna have my own back. I'm not gonna tell myself I'm wrong. I can never make it happen, that I should have done this and that and the other, that I'm affiliate. Like, all these I'm not gonna do that because I have my own back.
Relinde:I'm here for myself. I'm gonna be kind and loving through this. So because I took the time after that and because I really went in deep to shift those deeper beliefs that were actually triggered, I caused so much pain, I built something that then allowed me after that to get the successful launches that I wanted in that moment. Right? So at what I said, like, in hindsight, I can see I needed that growth because that belief, I'm a failure.
Relinde:I'm not good enough. You know? I'm not worthy. All those beliefs were there before that launch. It just needed to get healed, and this moment was the moment to do that.
Relinde:I like to say never waste a good trigger because when something like that happened, it is a trigger that tells you, my, let's go deep and let's heal something that has been there always so that the next time something like this happens, your nervous system responds differently. I'm not gonna say that I will never fail again or that things won't work out the way I want again because some people say that. Right? They they say, like, you manifest and everything always goes great. No.
Relinde:You don't because you don't know. Like, things happen in life, but you won't respond to it in a way where you collapse sitting on the floor thinking at your failure anymore. That's the difference. Things can just happen, but you are having resilience. Then also because you have more empowering beliefs and because you're showing up differently, you will get more success.
Relinde:It works that way because you will not, for example, I will not so easily listen anymore to somebody else telling me what to do and ignore my own intuition because of these bigger lessons I had before and because I did the work through that. Okay. So there's a couple more moments where in my business, and I will go through them more shortly, more quickly, where it was just moments of real, like, difficulties. So one of them is in the middle of a launch, I now already had my 6 figure business. I had had so fast forward.
Relinde:Right? After that failed launch, sitting in the shower crying, I, after that, learned how to do things and shifted beliefs, and I showed up in a different way. And I had my first $80,000 launch. You know? I already and from there, I never went back.
Relinde:So I kind of my 6 figure business happened the first time in 2019. That was a times 4. I went I I think before that, I was making about 25,000 a year. So then I made, like, a 100,000 plus, and from there, it just kept growing. So I was doing that.
Relinde:But one time, I was relaunching my program, and it had a name. The program was named, you know, had a name. We're in a launch. We're like so that program name was using it for a while. I was using it everywhere.
Relinde:And then on Friday evening, I got this email from lawyer from the US of somebody who had the business who she just just a couple months before that named her program the same as my program, which was very like, a lot of people were using these words. And she named that. I'm not gonna say it because I might call somebody out. Doesn't matter. She used the exact same and she had the strategy of, like, let's kill all other businesses that use the same name or basically let's tell them and this was the email, so I got an email of a lawyer saying, you have a program called this way.
Relinde:My client also has her program, and she's got just she just got her trademark, and she wants you to stop using that name by Monday. So it was the US morning and Friday. They sent me the email. It was my Friday evening. I wanna remind you in the middle of a launch, 5 day challenge, launch, ads, lots of campaigning, like, all that stuff.
Relinde:And they told me if you don't take it down by Monday, we will take action or we will do like, they threatened me with things. So that meant I would have if I would have done everything that was in that letter, I would have taken down the course, all the materials, my launch, my ads, my sales page, everything by Monday. Impossible. You know? Also, you know how launches go.
Relinde:They are important. Like, that's the moment you're making money in your business. That's the moment that you've worked put a lot of work in to get there, and they were telling me to take it all down. So again, big shock, didn't know what to do. It was Friday evening in the Netherlands.
Relinde:There were not so many people I could call. In the end, I got a lawyer on it and he luckily found out that her trademark wasn't actually valid to do what she threatened, but he said, you know what? She can still cause you lots of harm. So we sent or the lawyer sent an email saying that we legally didn't have to take the name down, but that we didn't wanna be, you know, associated with her and her business and that we are not, like, aligning with the way that she was handling this. That, therefore, I chose to change the name of my program and that I will do that in my own timing.
Relinde:So that bought me some time that I could finish my launch and then take down that name and change the name. In the end, that turned out well, but it was so stressful and it felt so unsafe and it was just it's something that I don't have in my bones. Like, that would never be my strategy, but it was her strategy and do that. And I think she thought that, therefore, she could grow her business faster or whatever, and it was so stressful, but we survived. I'm happy that I got the lawyer in, and I did change the name.
Relinde:And it felt freeing to do that because I didn't wanna get into some kind of battle even if we could have won it. I was like, I'm just I just don't want that. What I learned there is that those things happen. Now that is when your business grows, you know, in a way I was like, look at it. I've made it.
Relinde:Somebody thinks I'm a threat apparently from, you know, far away, thinks that I'm threatening their business growth or whatever. So, you know, we're kind of playing the big game now, and I learned to stay calm as well. And I did finish my launch successfully and then slowly changed the name of the program, which then turned out all okay. There's a couple more that I wrote down to talk about, but I feel we have talked about many enough today. And if you hear that, you see that there's big moments.
Relinde:You know? There's been moments that I was completely locked out of my Facebook account and couldn't get in for months even though we were had to run ads and there were just all kind of things happening and it was terrible and frustrating and nice and nice. I tried to get back in and I had to get Facebook support long story also got resolved. After months, I was resilient. I kept going.
Relinde:There was a moment where I worked as a partnership with people that promised me the world. And, again, I put in money to do that, and in the end, they didn't turn out to get me the results that I wanted or to be able to do the things that they promised. There's just been so many things. I've been open to listen to others, to take on advice, to try out certain strategies, and they didn't always work out. And I still, you know, that's always gonna be the case.
Relinde:Like, there's something that is, like, let's try this strategy and either it pays off greatly or it is a little harder. But there's one thing that I know is that whatever happens I have the inner safety and the inner tools to deal with it and I think that is the important part. So failure is never assigned to stop. That's what I believe unless something feels like it is ending like it was with my dance company. It wasn't that I ended a dance company because that failed performance that day, it was because I didn't feel happy anymore.
Relinde:I didn't feel expansive. I didn't feel fun anymore. I didn't feel light. It felt like something that was coming. It didn't align with my values anymore.
Relinde:But failure is not an is not a sign to stop. It really is about learning the lesson in that moment so that then you can actually be prepared. I feel those moments prepare you to be ready for the next thing that is around the corner. One of the things that is really important and that really helps me and that I teach my clients to use is somatic work. What I mean with that, somatic just means the body.
Relinde:Yeah? So what happens is that when we experience feelings like failing, frustration, shame, sadness around these moments, what is likely to happen or what can happen to some people and to more many more than not is that we are gonna avoid. We are gonna have some kind of avoidance. So that means you might get, like, just not feel, you know, get out of your body. Some people just start you know, it could be that you're like, okay.
Relinde:I'm just gonna really overwork so hard. I don't have to feel it. Or maybe you're gonna do the opposite, like, drop it all and just go do other things. Watch binge hours of Netflix or, I don't know, go to party and drink too much wine, like, whatever it is, avoidance, things to not feel. And as I said already in that moment that I, you know, when I felt so much pain because of that first refund of a course, I really learned to stay with the emotion and to live through the emotion and then to ask what deeper thing is this triggering in me?
Relinde:Because if you can't stay with that, if you do not have the capacity to feel what you're feeling, if you do not if you feel that you are moving away from that, that it feels too big or too confronting, then you also can't get to the bigger lesson. So here's the first thing I want you to do whenever something like this happens is to feel safe enough, supported by somebody else or just sometimes for me support means that I'm gonna lay on the couch and make sure that I have plenty of pillows so I can rest my head and can rest my whole body and that I can really let myself literally physically be supported and maybe, you know, have some nice music and some nice essential oils or things that make me feel supported. Those are my things that I like. Take a long, hot bath, and then allow yourself to feel what you feel. So if that is anger, it's anger.
Relinde:Can you let it out? If that is sadness, it's sadness. Can you let it out? And really allow that process, that emotion to flow. Then ask yourself, what is the deeper pattern that is being triggered here?
Relinde:That never raised a good trigger. Okay. We got a good trigger here. Get curious. What is that deeper pattern?
Relinde:And with that deeper pattern, I mean, what kind of things do you believe about yourself that are being confirmed by that situation? Is it the one about the failure or that you, you know, that you're just always gonna be rejected? People gonna say no to you or that you're just never good enough or, like, however hard you work is things just don't happen for you. Those are not the truth. In these moments, these thoughts can appear as the truth, but they're not the truth.
Relinde:They are the beliefs, the programs, the patterns, the rules that you created for yourself that you think are being confirmed in that moment. That's really not the truth. But the beautiful opportunity is to see what is the bigger thing that is being triggered. And to take that thing and look at it again, not to avoid it, but to look at it. Like, I had to look at that big, painful belief that I have.
Relinde:Like, ultimately, I am a failure. That's what I believed. Terrible thing to believe about yourself. So I had to look at that, and then you ask yourself, like, that belief, you know, where did that come from? Is there a story in my life for my parents, the way that you grew up, things that you learned that were sad to you, that were not sad to you, that showed you that you were that thing.
Relinde:So in my case, for example, that I'm a failure. You know? And that is the important thing to see where did this come from and to get show up with so much empathy for yourself. Be like, yeah. That's painful.
Relinde:That's not cool. I cannot see as a small child that that was a conclusion that I drew, but it doesn't mean it's true. Yeah? And then start seeing, like, hey. That thing that I learned and that I now believe to be true and where I can look at myself with so much love and compassion now as a little child, how has that benefited me?
Relinde:And this might be a weird question because you're like, isn't what's good about believing that you're a failure, you know, that you're not good enough? But, honestly, these beliefs always have a benefit. They always give us something. There's something good about it, and that is one of the reasons you don't wanna let go of it. You know?
Relinde:It's worked for you well. So I think for me, believing that I was a failure also was a motivation to work really hard. Because if I'm already a failure, if I work really hard, I'm not not be a failure. Am I am I be something, like, successful? You know?
Relinde:Who knows? So working really hard and having that motivation, I don't have to work always really hard, but to be motivated to do things, to learn, to experience, to build things, that's a good things in essence. Right? So I had to train my subconscious mind saying, I can still be motivated without being a failure. You know?
Relinde:Don't have to feel in order to be motivated. I can just innately be motivated. And therefore, if I'm motivated, I can achieve things and I can be successful. So it's almost like I have been successful without having to be a failure. So these are questions to ask yourself.
Relinde:So we ask first where does this come from and then, like, how had that been a good thing? Then you can also flip that around and think about now imagine the opposite. You know? What is the opposite of being a failure? Well, empowering would be I'm successful.
Relinde:I'm, like, greatly successful. I'm successful at everything that I do. Now there might be a fear around that. So you wanna ask yourself, hey. If you already have that good thing, if you already have that opposite belief, that opposite outcome, how could that be bad?
Relinde:You know? Is there something that could break in your life? Is there something that could not be good about that if I am not successful? If I am successful, if I'm always successful, I'm the most successful of everyone. How could that be a bad thing?
Relinde:And things that come up for me then or that came up for me would be, well, people start to get pretty jealous. You know? They don't wanna be with me. They'll be alone. And those are things I don't want, of course.
Relinde:So I can tell myself, okay. So I can be successful, you know, without having to be a failure. I can be motivated without having to be a failure. And can also be successful, people still like me. I can have that and not be alone.
Relinde:You know? I can be successful and actually reconnects to great like minded amazing people. And now we get to a debrief frame, which that is the big healing. And if I look at all these moments, this is what I still do and this is what I take my clients to is we look at that belief and see where it came from. We see how did that limiting belief benefit you.
Relinde:And, also, if it would be the opposite, how could it actually be you know, what fears do you have around that? So that we can reframe that. Not just, I'm not a failure. Am I successful? You know?
Relinde:That's the subconscious mind is not gonna accept that like that. But if I can say to my subconscious mind, you know what? I am successful. I mean, innately successful. And I can do that still be motivated and I can do that and still achieve great things and I can do that without people hating me or without being alone.
Relinde:I can do that actually by being con and be connected to great like minded people. Now that calms me down because now my nervous system, my subconscious mind knows I can really step into this empowering version of myself, and I'm I'd all these bad things are not gonna happen. I'm not gonna lose the good things. I can really be that. So this is a really important empowering process that you can take yourself through.
Relinde:If this sounds fascinating to you and you wanna do this, I actually do have a audio guide for this. It's an audio guide you can download. It's $27. You can use it all over again, and I will teach you not only how to do the process that I just described, but also how to do the never waste a good trigger, meaning you're triggered, how to find the deeper subconscious patterns that are actually being triggered, and then how to dive deep into your subconscious and shift them. So I do have an audio guide for that.
Relinde:If you wanna have that, we will make sure to link that guide in the show notes. And you can also give me the word beliefs so that I can send you the link. Yeah? Because I really see. I wanna help everybody with this.
Relinde:It's just so often that I hear somebody talking, like, oh, I wanna tell you about, like, that process, that embodied vision process that I do because that's where you can really shift this in an instant. And doing the deep work now, again, set you up to receive the bigger successes later. So I'd be so happy for you to do that. If you already have this audio guide or if you even wanna work deeper on that, also send me the word beliefs. We'll have a little chat on Instagram.
Relinde:We can talk about it. I can tell you about ways that I could support you with this because this is just so life changing. Not just for me, for my clients. People tell me all the time how this deeper belief work has helped them to really make that bigger identity shift where sometimes the failure just don't happen or if it happens where you have the resilience to actually continue on and not give up. And you know that all successfully, you know, success we're all successful.
Relinde:You are already successful. But successful businesses, successful people, I wanna say, in the world, this is the skill that they have. It's not about the world never throwing things at you that are really tough to work through. It's always about how do you respond to it, and how do you shift it around for it to be an advantage for you. Never waste a good trigger.
Relinde:Just make it more better for yourself. So I hope today's episode gave you some insight in all these failures that I've had in my businesses, and I'm sure there will be things that I have to overcome in the future. They just start, you know, they just happen on another level and that you can see for yourself that wherever you're at, doesn't matter where you're at in your business. If you're, like, at multiple millions or you're at the complete start, this same developmental process happens for everyone at every time and all times in our business. And don't shy away from it.
Relinde:Don't avoid it. Show up for it. Stay present for it. Use the tools that I set. First, stay in your body, feel what you feel, and then ask yourself these deeper questions.
Relinde:And if you want guidance on that, again, DM me the word beliefs or go to the link in the show notes or in the email that you got for this podcast and just make sure to get that audio guide. Like, I literally give it away for, like, it's super valuable. I give it away for only $27 because I want to help you because I want you to work through this because this is so so incredibly life changing. Just that audio guide in itself could change your life. Yeah?
Relinde:But if you want deeper support on that, there's also ways to get 1 on 1 session with me or with one of my trained embodied vision coaches. There's ways that I can help you with this. So let me know if that is there. The support is there for you. I'm so grateful that you listened to this day's episode.
Relinde:Thank you for listening to all my failures, to moments where I thought nothing would ever happen again. I am now gonna, enjoy the beautiful weather in Lisbon because the reality is in all those years, I mean, I did build my beautiful 6 figure business. I got my clients all over the world. I'm now spending 8 months in Lisbon just because I felt like it. And all of that wouldn't have happened if I wouldn't have given up.
Relinde:And if I would have believed those limiting beliefs that were telling me that I wasn't good enough, I wasn't successful, I could never make it, like, all that stuff. So wishing the same for you. I hope you have a beautiful rest of your day, and I will meet you in Instagram, Comsat Museum, Seminy World Beliefs. I know that you'll listen to this then, and we can figure out ways for you to shift this too. Thank you for joining us today on the Choosing Ease podcast.
Relinde:Remember to subscribe so you never miss an opportunity to connect, and I'd be so grateful if you could share your thoughts in a review. Join me next time as I continue to explore the powerful skills and strategies that will help you to let go of everything that keeps you from fully sharing your genius. You are destined for greatness, and through the Choosing Ease podcast, I'm here to help you own your unique wisdom and share it with the world. Until next time, keep choosing EASE.