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Reset Podcast with Archie Callahan is where faith meets real life.
In a world constantly shaping the way men think, lead + live, Reset Podcast takes a fresh look at men + culture through the lens of the GOSPEL. Each episode features honest conversations, practical wisdom + scriptural truth designed to help MEN reset their minds, strengthen their faith + lead with purpose in their homes, workplaces, churches + communities.
Whether we’re discussing leadership, marriage, fatherhood, integrity, current culture, spiritual growth, or the challenges men face today, our goal is simple: to align our lives with God’s truth + become the men He has called us to be.
SUBSCRIBE + join the conversation as we challenge cultural norms, encourage biblical manhood + pursue a life that honors Christ.
NEW EPISODE EVERY WEDNESDAY.
Hey guys, it's good to have you today on Reset the Podcast.
Today we're going to talk about something that I believe is vitally important.
It's not sexy, it's not exciting oftentimes, but it is one word, it's the word consistency.
And
In the studio today, we have the man, the myth, the legend, Scott Mayo.
What's happening, man?
How you doing today?
I'm more on the myth side, probably.
Thanks for inviting me.
This looks like the Batcave in here.
Oh, yeah.
It's pretty chill.
We're just chilling.
We're just talking to guys.
We're talking dude talk.
There you go.
And, Scott, tell us a little bit about yourself, man.
Well, I have had the privilege of working here at Bridge Church for close to 27 years.
And as the executive pastor, married for over 30 years, 31 years.
Got two great kids and just love what I do.
The opportunity God's given me here.
Awesome, man.
What kind of sports you like?
Well, I like a lot of them, but I know you and I differ on a lot of sports.
I'm a Washington Commanders man and I'm a UVA man.
And I know those are polar opposites of you.
Yeah, I know it's been a hard road since the 1980s.
But, you know, sports come and go, you know, but there's one thing that is consistent.
Both of our teams kind of do poorly every year.
We're just praying for miracles, and that happens, man.
How old are you, bud?
I am 54 years old.
54 years young.
Yes.
And how many Super Bowls have you seen the Commanders win?
I've never seen the Commanders win any.
I've seen the other team that they formerly were known as win three, went to four.
Oh, yeah, the Skins.
The Skins won the Super Bowls, man.
John Riggins, they ran his legs into retirement.
They did.
Joe Theismann broke his leg.
That's right.
He always says that he didn't break his leg.
He said Lawrence Taylor broke his leg.
Well, yeah.
He was the recipient of it.
Giant of a man that played with the Giants, Lawrence Taylor.
I think it was on a Monday night.
It was.
I remember I watched it.
Oh, I did.
I watched it, and I got sick to my stomach, man.
And that was crazy.
That was crazy.
We're going to jump into this subject, guys.
We're going to talk about consistency.
You know, oftentimes men like intensity and not consistency.
Scott, what do you see, man, in men's lives, maybe even in your own life, what prevents people from being consistent?
Well, I think there's a lot of different facets to that.
One, I think we like intensity more than consistency because intensity is easier to see.
So people want to be seen.
Well, I think that's part of it, right?
Because you can measure that.
You can measure someone's intensity, but it's hard to measure someone's private consistency.
And so I think that's one of the challenges that guys have is because the end result is what we're always looking for.
We're in a very result-oriented society that looks for the end, but it's that consistency that ultimately gets you there.
So I think for us as guys, we are performance-driven.
We want the end result.
We want the goal being met, but we've got to back up and hit the consistency to get that.
Yeah, Lance Wallnau, he said it takes 15 years to become an overnight success.
Yeah.
So in that 15 years, you have to build in some consistent habits.
You know, it's not what you do occasionally.
It's what you do consistently that really marks your life.
And, you know, what we see in a lot of people, they want to be an overnight success.
They want a flash in the pan.
They like the intensity.
They like the adrenaline rush.
Man, let's get to the top.
But they don't like the habits that take consistency that builds the foundation of their lives.
Yeah.
And consistency is so important.
You know, even there's a story about the Chinese bamboo tree, man.
They plant it.
They plant a seed.
A farmer does.
First year, nothing happens.
Second year, nothing happens.
Third year, fourth year, nothing happens.
But that fifth year, it comes up out of the ground.
And in five months, it grows to 80 feet.
Wow.
You know, who wants to plant a seed that takes five years for it to come up out of the dirt?
Sure.
But there's something about consistency.
You know, have you struggled in your life with consistency?
What areas have you struggled with?
Yeah, I think all of us probably struggle in that.
And I think it's not just a broad, I mean, consistency is very broad, but, you know, different areas of our life, I think we all can struggle with consistency.
One of the things I've, you know, a few years ago, I was reading a Harvard Business Review article, and it was after COVID.
And so COVID had taken, and so it was talking about managing kind of in the new era and stuff like that.
And so one of the things it was talking about is this thing called stability management.
Now, it wasn't necessarily a new management style they were talking about, but what they were talking about was in the world that is constantly changing and things that are constantly evolving.
People coming to work don't know where they're going to work.
Are they going to work remote?
Are they going to work from home?
All of the things that we went through.
AI wasn't necessarily on the forefront at that point.
It was being developed.
But people had a lot of uncertainty.
But one of the things that consistency, I think, brings about, or as I was reading this article, was what they were calling stability.
And so I began digging in on stability.
as kind of like a fruit or a byproduct of consistency.
And so stability actually, I came across this guy, you probably heard of him, St.
Benedict, who was a monk back in the 500s.
So he came up and he said, hey, when you come to my monastery, one of the virtues that you had to take is the virtue of stability.
And what he was saying is that you can't jump out
of the monastery.
You can't jump out.
You got to be consistent all the way through and so that consistency I think brings stability into our families, into our finances, into every area of our life.
And what are people looking for?
They're looking for stability.
Absolutely.
Financial stability, relational stability.
Even in church, people are looking for stability, and that's probably why a lot of people are trying to go back to a more ancient-type faith, especially a younger generation, because the world is so shaky.
They're looking for stability, and they think the consistency of an ancient faith produces the stability that they're looking for.
in their lives.
And it is so true, man.
If you're going to be stable, there has to be some consistency built in your life, the consistency of prayer, the consistency of fellowship with other believers, the consistency of reading God's Word.
If you were to look at the Bible and look at all the Bible characters, which Bible character would you say, man, that person was consistent?
Well, I think, you know, obviously, I think Daniel probably comes to mind.
Like, I mean, there was a lot that happened there.
Obviously, the Lord with, you know, carrying out his mission.
So I think Joseph was consistent.
I think he worked through and walked through a lot of things.
I think there's a lot of Bible characters.
I mean, you see Moses.
He was consistency in serving his father-in-law's sheep, and he had a burning bush experience.
That was the intensity, but he was faithful and consistent.
to do what he was supposed to do.
I think it was Zechariah, when it was his turn to serve in the temple, and that's when he had the revelation the angel came to him, and he was going to have a son, John the Baptist.
But he was in his routine of consistency that helped to bring about that experience of that intensity that we like, but it was his day-to-day that he was able to experience those things.
So in the timeline of consistency, there are moments of intensity.
Sure.
We all like the highs.
We all like the encounters with God.
We all like the adrenaline rush.
But that shouldn't keep us.
It's the consistency with those added in that timeline.
That really helps sustain our lives and brings stability to our lives.
You know, you're talking about Daniel.
Daniel had a consistent prayer life.
He prayed three times a day.
Three times a day he prayed, morning, noon, and night.
And even when King Nebuchadnezzar made that decree that everybody had to bow down to him and pray, guess what he kept doing?
He kept praying to his God.
Why?
Because he had already built the consistent prayer life.
that just spilled over even in the face of persecution.
You don't wait until you get into persecution to build consistency.
You do that every day.
A lot of people struggle to get up in the morning.
They don't have consistent habits of getting up early, man.
Why is that important?
Why is just self-discipline important to consistency?
Let's put it that way.
Yeah, I think, you know, first of all, it's hard, right?
Like I said at the beginning, I think this is something that we all work in, struggle in, find ourselves succeeding in in some places, and then obviously, you know, struggling or failing maybe feel like at times in other areas.
But yeah, I think it's a challenge because it requires that discipline.
Like you said, Daniel had the discipline to do that.
And then when you really look at Daniel's life and we think about all the visions that Daniel had and all those things, but he went into captivity as a teenager.
And then I don't remember when he actually passed away, but I think it was in the 80s or more.
So if you add up all the dreams and you divide it up over his lifespan, there was those moments of intensity within the consistency.
But he made that discipline.
And so I think some of it, you know, we talk about Nike and their just do it.
I think part of it is some of it is just a made up mind.
You just got to do it.
There's just some things that you go, hey, I'm a big boy now, and there are hard things that I just need to do.
I just need to go in and pay my bills on time.
I need to stop getting the late fee because I'm too lazy or inconsistent on paying the bill.
I just need to make the tough decisions and get up and do some form of exercise or do some form of spiritual disciplines or something that moves me forward.
And it's not necessarily, I don't think,
of starting something new, but taking what is you know to be right or something that you know will produce a good end result, and then just be consistent in that.
It's not like I got to go in and add 15 new things.
I just got to find the one or two things that I think will help develop or grow my life, right?
We've all heard the formula like, you know, good habits are the right things done consistently over time equals growth.
I don't know who came up with that.
It wasn't me.
But we all know that.
But it's finding the right habits or the right things to do.
And so I think that's sometimes because, truthfully, we're all being inconsistent in something.
Yeah, some people are inconsistent in the wrong direction.
Exactly.
So we're consistent in the wrong thing, and it's producing the wrong results in our life.
So how do you determine what we should be consistent in?
Is that determined by your values?
Yeah, I think it's going to say a little bit of that.
I think also a little bit of asking the Lord, like, hey, what is it that I need to grow in?
What area of my life do I need to grow in?
So, yes, I think values, but I think some of the values are –
changed or grow out of my relationship with God, out of my relationship with the Lord.
So as I spend a little time with Him, and what that looks like varies for different people.
Some it's five, ten minutes a day, and that's all they can really afford to offer or do.
Some it might be longer.
But whatever that happens to be, that out of that, those things begin to shape my values in my life.
And then I begin to move forward.
So I think some of it is allowing the Holy Spirit to lead us and guide us and direct us in the places that we need to become more consistent in.
Yeah, and you can't base consistency on the way you feel.
Sure.
Because your feelings constantly – I didn't feel like going to work out today.
Right.
But I went and worked out just because the consistency factor.
I know it's good for me.
And some people are just so much led by their feelings, man.
Sure.
They're in their feels for the younger generation.
They're emotional.
But you have to go past that and make a decision because –
We're all byproducts of our decision.
And so we had to be consistent.
I think, you know, we talk about consistency, but another term for that, another biblical word for that, it's just being faithful.
Sure.
Faithful.
You know, Luke 16, 10, it says, one who is faithful in a very little is also faithful in much.
So sometimes we think, man, we got to do the big thing.
Sometimes it's just doing the small thing a long time.
Sure.
That builds the spiritual muscles of your life.
You know, when we talk about consistency, we're not talking about doing huge things.
We're talking about just adding things into your life that produces positive growth results, positive push forward, moving forward.
So, you know, this faithfulness.
And why is it hard for people to be faithful, man?
I don't know.
There's a lot of reasons, man.
Sure.
And what robs us of our consistency?
Sometimes it's just transitions in life.
I remember I could play sports like crazy, but when we started having kids, it robbed me of that consistency.
And so talking to that, how does life begin to rob people of consistency?
What in life robs people of consistency?
Yeah, I think so for me, like, you know, every summer my house gets a little inconsistent.
My wife is a schoolteacher, so once school lets out, then the house becomes a little less disciplined, not in a bad way, but, you know, the house is not buzzing at 5 o'clock in the morning like it normally is.
Definitely not.
So, you know, so things like even on vacation, like, so when I go on vacation, as much as I like to try to have quiet time with the Lord and things like that,
I'm around family, so there's things that kind of throw you off.
I think there are seasons or transitions in life that do throw you off your game.
What you have to do is kind of create new norms.
I've got to come up with a new pattern, a new way of doing things or being consistent.
that I fell off in somewhere else.
I remember my kids were younger, and it was hard to do prayer time and devotion time because kids get up early sometimes, and so you're trying to do whisper prayers to God.
You don't want to wake the house up.
You're trying to quietly sneak around the house and all of those things.
And so it was a little frustrating during those times, but I had to understand, okay, this is just as part of what God's plan is for my life is to raise my kids.
And if my kids are up and they need help or different things like that, that family is part of God's design and life, and so that's okay.
So
understanding that there's going to be the rhythms that get knocked out of place, but you learn how to try to adjust.
Yeah, you have to be flexible.
Absolutely.
You can't be rigid.
Oh, man, I've got to do this.
And that becomes a work of the flesh.
It's not done out of the Spirit.
You're just by your own willpower.
Sure.
And that's not what we're talking about.
We're talking about being led by the Spirit, allowing the Holy Spirit to produce consistency as we partner with God.
Mm-hmm.
Little by little.
I think in the American culture, we want to get rich overnight.
We want to lose weight overnight.
We want to buy a house overnight.
We want to gather overnight.
But Proverbs teaches something that's totally different.
Proverbs 13, 11, whoever gathers little by little will increase.
It's that little things, man.
Those little consistent markers.
It's not trying to knock it out of the park.
Maybe it's just a bunt that gets you on the first base.
Maybe it's a second, you know, a double.
Maybe you just walk to first base, but it's this little increments, a little bit, a little bit, a little bit.
And people don't like that because, like I said earlier, man, it's just not sexy.
It's just not –
exciting.
The adrenaline's not there, but the consistency when it comes to working out, when it comes to success in life, when it comes to finances, when it comes to church life, whatever, it's that little bit, that little bit.
Where have you seen people struggle in the area of consistencies?
Well, I think a couple of things come to mind.
Obviously, as an executive pastor, I deal with finances and things like that and have had the opportunity to serve people in the congregation that may be struggling in finances, but some consistency in the area of finance.
consistency of just being able to connect with their spouse or connect with their kids.
There's consistency in, obviously, maybe the disciplines of the faith, all of these things.
When we talk about the disciplines of the faith, we're talking about prayer, reading Scripture.
worship, even attending church, consistency in attending church, right?
So those are all places that we can struggle in that consistency.
And until we really make up a decision, hey, this is how I want my life to go.
And like you said, it's not like I'm being, we're just going to self-will it and force it.
Because I think what happens is when you get to a place
Consistency can become rigid, and when it's rigid, then no one wants to be around you.
You get up tight.
You get up right.
So the family doesn't want to be around you.
No one wants to go to church.
No one wants to believe in the Jesus you're talking about because you just seem unhappy all the time.
So all of those things, when consistency becomes so rigid that there's not a level of that grace –
There's no joy in it, man.
It's just like people who work out an hour or two a day.
Even when they go on vacation, they make everyone else miserable because they have to vacate around a gym.
You know what I'm saying?
I'm on vacation, but I got to work out.
Why not just have some joy?
And just chill out.
Your body's not going to deteriorate in a week.
And so they just lose it, man.
We're not talking about being rigid.
We're not talking about being over the top.
We're just talking about consistency, God-given consistency every day.
Will Durant said this, we are what we repeatedly do.
Excellence, then, is not an act but a habit.
It's not an act.
It's a habit.
These habits that we build in that are consistently going on.
Habits.
It starts with a decision.
It has to become a discipline.
Then it becomes a delight.
Most people make decisions that never turn into discipline.
How often do we see that?
And sometimes even when like we have kids, you have two kids, we have to teach them habits, right?
Nobody likes making their bed.
So where do you see that in the home, the consistent?
If you were going to have a great home life, and you do, what kind of things did you have to build into that home life to make it great in the area of faithfulness or consistency?
Yeah, I think, you know, several things kind of come to mind.
As I remember, you know, I was trying to be active in my kid's life in the sense of when it was time for bed, then, you know, mom and dad came back and we prayed, right?
We prayed over the night.
And so with my son, I have four things that I would always repeat to him every night.
And it was that you're loved, you're valuable, you're important, and you can do it.
And I just say that all the time.
And he would just, you know, eventually just call on him.
He would repeat it.
And, you know, but I wanted him to know those things.
And so I would pray over him.
And then, of course, you know, with my wife, before she would go to school, you know, we'd stop at the door.
I'd pray over her and, you know, protect her.
So they were not like huge things.
It wasn't like I was doing Bible studies, breaking out the Greek and Hebrew for two hours with them, and I'm like, no, sit down.
You're going to learn this Bible verse.
I wasn't like that.
Yeah, I was kind of just like I wanted to be present, right?
And part of that, so being consistently present with the family.
And I know different work schedules and shifts and stuff.
So you have to work that out, right?
You have to find the rhythm of your context in which you live in, but in some way or some fashion to be able to develop those things.
So, you know, there were certain things that we just didn't.
allow consistently on TV or music in the home or different things like that.
So those were things.
So there's positive things, but I guess you could say there were positive things of consistency that were on the negative side, things that we wanted to consistently delete.
Not do.
Yeah, not do out of our home.
So a couple of those things, I think, come to mind, raising family and being a part of family.
Yeah.
So in this area of consistency, why do so many men start strong and then quit?
You know, motivation's a big deal, right?
So motivation can come and go.
And someone once said, you don't feel your way into action, you act your way into feelings.
And so, you know, you have to, sometimes you just have to move into it.
And like I said earlier, we're big boys now, right?
So, you know, we're playing the long game.
We're not playing the short game.
We're playing the long game because at the end, ultimately, before we stand before Jesus, we want to hear, well done, good and faithful servant, going back to your faithful moment.
So it's not well done, you know, halfway, he did okay for part of the time or whatever.
It's this good and faithful servant.
servant and um and so i think it we get distracted we lose that motivation motivation comes i think it's a feeling uh a lot of times and so we get motivated like i remember growing up you know in in the um 80s and 90s and rocky was oh you watch a rocky movie you felt motivated to go lift 400 pounds and you couldn't even lift four start boxing yeah you start fighting anybody that came along yeah
Because you felt that temporary motivation to do something, but there was no consistency to follow that up.
So it's very challenging, I think, sometimes for us.
Yeah, I think when you're young, you need external motivation.
But as you grow and as you age, you have to lean on intrinsic motivation, internal motivation.
If you're always waiting for somebody on the outside to motivate you, something on the outside to motivate you, that's not a healthy way to live.
There has to be intrinsic, internal motivation that gets you out of bed.
Bishop Tony Miller once said, if your dream doesn't get you out of bed, it's not going to get anyone else out of bed.
So I have to be motivated intrinsically.
And I developed that just through a decision, discipline that becomes a delight.
I just learned that.
I remember when I was in college.
And I began to force myself to get up early at 5 o'clock, at least by 5 o'clock, sometimes earlier.
I made myself not sleep in.
I disciplined myself back in college days when it would be easy to sleep in.
You have nobody that governs your time.
You have to put on your big boy pants.
You have to get up.
You have to take the shower.
You have to go to class.
So I began to force myself.
to get up and read my Bible at 5 o'clock in the morning, take a shower, get ready for the day.
And it began to set the course of my life.
And that was intrinsic.
There was nobody around me motivating me.
My parents didn't call me.
That was days before cell phones.
If you did call, it was going to cost you $50 per call, and nobody was going to do that.
And you had to wait on the phones because they were pay phones, and we're ancient guys.
But there was this intrinsic motivation.
And even now, man, I have to motivate myself inwardly.
Nobody's telling me what to do.
Sure.
You know, most men who are business owners, they don't have somebody over their back.
In fact, I've discovered after 31 years of pastoring, there are a lot of small business owners, the reason they like small business is because they don't want anybody telling them what to do.
And sometimes that's bad, too, because they're not accountable.
They won't submit to anyone, so they go out and work for themselves so they don't have to hear anybody telling them what to do.
But they're not intrinsically motivated enough to grow the business that they've developed, so they're living from paycheck to paycheck and not blossoming because they are not consistent in what they do.
If one week they make $4,000, they'll skip a week of work and find something else to do.
It's crazy when it comes to that, but there has to be a level of consistency in everyone's life.
For the guys that are out here listening, what would you say to them about developing consistency?
Yeah, I think you've got to just do it.
I think it was John Maxwell, so I'm hoping you're giving the right quote here, the right credits for the quote.
I think he said he does three things every day, every morning.
He tries to read something leadership-wise, tries to do something spiritual-wise, and then tries to do something physical.
So I think maybe just if three of those seem too overwhelming, just pick one of the three and just start.
Again, we're in a digital age, so digital watches, but back we used to have gears inside of a watch or on the back of a clock.
And the idea is what is the one gear that you can touch and you can speed that gear up and that'll touch every other gear and make those things work a little faster or more efficient.
And so in your life, what's that one gear that God is pointing out?
And sometimes, you know, God uses, if you're married, God uses your spouse, or if you have kids, God will use your kids to kind of point out what that gear might be.
And, you know, and so it's not like you have to go in the deep holy of holies and
fast for 21 days to find this out.
I think it's just like, what is the natural next step that I need to do to grow as a man, as a man of God?
So what is that?
What do I need to do?
Where do I need to develop that consistency?
And then just move into that and just whatever that looks like.
Again,
Start off small.
It doesn't have to be something for hours.
Just, hey, I'm going to try to do this.
I'm going to try to get up at 5 o'clock or 6 o'clock or whatever it happens to be, if that works within your work schedule.
I know some people maybe work the night shift and stuff.
But whatever that happens to be, to try to move into that area.
And then let God meet you there.
Let God begin to step into that moment with you and meet you there and let growth take place.
Yeah.
I remember Leonard Sweet said this.
He said, if you want to be a great writer, you have to write every day.
Whether you feel like it or not, whether it's good or bad, whether it's trash or it's great writing, he says the only way to be a great writer is that you have to consistently write every day.
And that really shaped my mind when he said that because, you know, I write, but I wasn't writing every day.
And now I try to write at least a story or a paragraph every day of my life in my own writing, not AI.
And I try to get my mind to work consistently that way.
And it's hard, man, because sometimes you're like, man, I don't feel like doing this.
I'd rather do something else.
But the consistency has to be there.
We want to leave you with a challenge today.
What one area of your life –
that you need to pick to bring consistency to?
Is it prayer, fitness, your family, your finances?
Choose one small act daily to be consistent in.
Maybe it's five minutes of the Word of God.
Maybe it's 20 push-ups a day starting now.
Maybe ask your wife a real question at dinner.
You know, check your bank account every morning to see, man, how are you doing?
You know, just one little thing, man, can go a long way.
Don't go big.
Just go consistent.
And your consistency will lead to big results.
Yeah.
That's it right there, big results.
Guys, thank you for joining us today on Reset the Podcast.
And we will see you next week.
See you.