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Welcome to The Foster Friendly Podcast. We’re bringing foster care closer to home by sharing stories from the front lines. We're talking with former foster youth, foster parents and others who are finding unique and powerful ways to dramatically improve the experiences and outcomes for kids in foster care.
The Foster Friendly podcast is brought to you by America’s Kids Belong, a nonprofit that helps kids in foster care find belonging in both family and community.
Brian (00:01.452)
Welcome to the Foster Friendly podcast. I'm Brian Mavis and with me is my colleague Courtney Williams. And today we have a conversation with a real go-getter who heard what America's Kids Belong was doing with foster friendly communities. And so she decided to get it going in her town and her town is not a small town. And so today we have Kayla Moody with us. Kayla and her husband, Evan, are foster adoptive parents.
Cayela Moody (00:03.352)
I'm Brian Mavis and with me is my colleague Courtney Williams. And today we have a conversation with a real go-getter who heard what America's Kids Long was doing with foster friendly communities. And so she decided to get it going in her town and her town is not a town. And so today we have Kayla Moody with us. Kayla and her husband Evan are foster adoptive parents.
Brian (00:31.64)
who met in junior high. sweet. And now they live in Jacksonville, Florida as a military family. have eight children, four of whom who have been adopted through foster care and Kayla, and this is what we'll be focusing on today, has been the lead of starting a foster friendly community in Jacksonville. So Kayla.
Cayela Moody (00:32.016)
We met in junior high. And how they live in Jacksonville, Florida as a military family. eight children, four of whom who have been adopted through foster care. And Kayla, who we'll be focusing on today, has been the lead of starting a foster family community in Jacksonville. So Kayla, thank you for taking time out today in your schedule and joining us on this.
Brian (00:57.58)
Thank you for taking time out today in your schedule and joining us on this podcast.
Courtney (00:59.854)
Thanks
Cayela Moody (01:01.882)
like that. Thanks for having me. I'm excited to be here.
Courtney (01:05.886)
That's great. I love the whole junior high thing. I used to dream of being a high school sweetheart. It was like I was bound to determine it. It didn't happen for me, but I love a good high school junior high sweetheart story. Well, Kayla, can you give us a little more detailed introduction into yourself and your family?
Cayela Moody (01:12.742)
Yeah, know Evan and I grew up in small rural Kansas, 2,000 people and all of our family is still there. So we're kind of the black sheep on my side and
Brian (01:17.4)
Yeah, she was overly ambitious in the junior high
Ahem.
Cayela Moody (01:41.88)
Yeah, Evan joined the military in 2006. And so we've been kind of on that journey for several years. I used to look at heart galleries back in, I don't know, mid 2000s when we had babies at home and Evan thought it was just crazy. But God, I always had that on my heart that we would do foster care or adoption. But as you can imagine,
military life and he was in residency for a little while. It can be hard to find that space and the right timing of it. So we lived in Virginia for a little bit and then when we got to Florida we had three-year orders and you know I told them like hey this could be as good as it gets in the military as far as knowing where we'll be for a certain amount of time and so we jumped in took the classes and that was in 2018 and
We closed our license for a little bit, reopened again, adopted some more, and then we'll be getting out again. But I think there's a life cycle of foster care that we often miss out on, and it can be easy to, I guess, misunderstand or not see it. And so I think that that's one of the really important things about retention and support of foster families.
is that even when we're no longer fostering and when our homes are closed, that there's still so much work for us here and whatever that looks like. And it could be mentoring or it could be starting a foster friendly community. And so I'd love to dive more into that because I think that it kind of becomes a part of your identity, just like being a military spouse for the last 18 years has. And when we closed the first time, I remember just kind of struggling for a little bit with
you know, I'm not a foster parent anymore and what does that look like? But there was definitely a lot more opportunity on the advocacy side and to really dive into that. I think that when we step out for one reason or another, maybe we've adopted and we closed our home or it's just not the season for us, that there's still so much opportunity to continue to pour in. And honestly, at times make a bigger impact than when
Cayela Moody (04:01.555)
you know, our home was open.
Courtney (04:05.402)
Yeah, that's a great point. It's been for us all to be thinking about and even just the people that we know in our sphere and people around us, you we kind of felt something similar with our adoption journey of our, we adopted a couple older kids and it was kind of like a lot of support, a lot of hype and then the adoption happens and people kind of go away, you know. And a lot of times it's been the hard stuff and even sometimes years in and yeah, we always challenge people of...
It's really easy for people to want to mentor our bio kids who aren't perfect kids, but seem to have it more together in a sense on the outside. And then the other kids, it's harder for us to find those supports. And so we're having to like beg people to, you know, be in their lives and our lives with them. And it's sad, it's sad that that's the reality.
Cayela Moody (04:48.622)
Yeah. Well, and know, I think as far as even mentoring as a foster family and you have experience and I can't tell you how many people I've had the first placement and life is turning upside down for them and just to be able to come alongside and assure them, right? Like this is normal. Like it is hard, right? But also what you're feeling, what you're experiencing is very similar to what all the rest of us felt when we initially said yes to this and
Courtney (05:08.395)
Mm-hmm.
Cayela Moody (05:18.818)
It'll take a little bit and kind of for everybody to adjust to this new normal, but it is so worthy. And I think if we didn't have somebody that was able to come alongside and speak into that time, into that moment, and just to say like, this is hard, but you can get over this hump, then we would lose a lot of really good foster parents that could be great and could do this for a long time, but just for one reason or another at the very beginning.
just felt like maybe they misunderstood or this wasn't for them. And so, how can we speak into that still on the other side of foster care when the license is closed and we're out of that piece? there's so much that those families that have been there that really understand have to offer, but how are we keeping them connected at that point?
Courtney (06:13.056)
Yeah. Our support group here, the first time I went to the support group, I was like, wow, there's a lot of people here. There's a lot of foster and we live in a small community. So I like, there's a lot of foster families. And then I found out that they, they invite all their foster families from any point. Like if they were fostering and they've adopted, they're not fostering anymore. They're invited. And a lot of them still come and it's great to hear from them, but I love that they opened that door because a lot of places I don't think really do. It's kind like, once you're done, you're done. Yeah.
Cayela Moody (06:35.928)
Yep. And I think that we're just missing out on so much knowledge and wisdom from the people that were in this for so long and that are in a new season now. So I love the idea of foster friendly, being able to kind of capture that and offer it in a new season for them.
Brian (06:55.064)
Nikaila, give us a little bit more insight into what drew you into foster care. You seem like the kind of person who it's important to have meaning in your life and there's a lot of things you could have pursued. foster care?
Cayela Moody (06:55.302)
Tequila, give us a little bit more insight into what drew you into foster care. You seem like the kind of person who is important to have meaning in your life. And there's a lot of things you could have pursued. Why foster care? Well, you know, one of the bigger reasons that we consider foster care was just in a journey of our own that was unplanned and unexpected. Our oldest son was
diagnosed with autism and nobody ever plans for that, especially with your oldest child that this is going to be what your journey is and to be just completely vulnerable. There was a sense of grieving for me in that moment of this wasn't what my plans were. And I remember one night with Evan, I was still emotional about the whole thing. And Evan said, well, what is
Courtney (07:44.31)
Hmm.
Cayela Moody (07:54.81)
What is really like causing, you know, this upset? And I said, well, what happens if he never gets married and what happens if he doesn't have children? And Evan said, what happens if those were your dreams and not his? And it was such a moment of clarity for me in the sense that, you know, that's such a true statement. And so it helped us to completely shift to this, you know, new mindset of
helping Nolan achieve what Nolan's dreams and aspirations were and that they were very likely going to be different than mine. then, but I knew that in foster care children that were on autism spectrum children that have special needs or, you know, medical diagnosis would be considered hard to place. And we were so darn just in love with Nolan and his quirkiness and fun and
everything that he brought to life, that it was absolutely heartbreaking to think about the fact that there could be a child like my son who is remarkable in so many ways and he would not be able to find a home because of this almost scarlet letter of a diagnosis. And so that was one of the things that really drew us in was just this kind of understanding that children are considered hard to place.
with certain labels and we had learned a new set of parenting and skills and advocacy through parenting him and raising him all of those years that we really felt like we could take what we had learned and apply to others and were really big on early intervention and therapies and the insurance can tell me no on things and I just think to myself, well, that's one person's opinion and then I go and I talk to somebody else and I figure it out and.
And so, you know, it's been such a blessing to see something that at one point was challenging and scary and overwhelming be used for such a bigger purpose and to be able to welcome so many kids that others just, you know, weren't able to or didn't feel qualified to care for.
Brian (10:09.912)
Wow, I did not expect that answer. And it's beautiful. And thanks for being vulnerable and sharing it. It's amazing to me, people like you, I know a few others who've had a biological child with special needs and somehow that cracks open their heart with the parent. And they're like, we know how to do this. We're good at this. And they are open to like, you've already have a challenging
Courtney (10:11.928)
Yeah.
Cayela Moody (10:18.446)
It's amazing to me, people like you, I know a few others who had a biological child with special needs, somehow that cracks open their heart to the parents, and they're like, we know how to do this, we're good at this, and they are open to life, especially if already have a challenging parenting, and you're like, let's do more, and so, gosh.
Brian (10:39.544)
parenting and you're like, let's do more. so, gosh, what a beautiful story. And I hope that's inspiring to our listeners who think that maybe if you do have a challenging, unique parenting life that like Kayla did, just like see this as an opportunity, you know, a
Cayela Moody (10:46.118)
that's not one of you story and i hope that's inspiring for a listener to think that maybe if you do have a challenge challenging unique parenting life that like Kayla did I just see this as an opportunity you know a maybe a gift that you didn't ask for that God will work
Brian (11:09.08)
and maybe a gift that you didn't ask for, but that God will work through that because you're good at helping those kids. So that was a beautiful answer.
Cayela Moody (11:15.494)
at helping those kids. So that was a good point. thanks. Well, let me shift now. We're in fourth year and I'm to hit reverse. Okay, so shifting gears, we did say we're going to focus this topic today on foster friendly communities. And I'd like to hear more about your.
Courtney (11:19.274)
Yeah.
Brian (11:21.196)
Well, let me shift now. This smells like an abrupt shift. We're in fourth gear and I'm to hit reverse. Okay. So shifting gears. We did say we're going to focus this topic today on foster-friendly communities. And I'd like to hear more about how you launched Foster Friendly in Jacksonville, Florida, which is a mega city.
Cayela Moody (11:44.938)
in Jacksonville, Florida, which is a negative. Yeah, Jacksonville is technically population wise, the largest in the state of Florida and also the largest landmass city in the lower 48. So you have a unique set of challenges here. Also, I'm not from here. Like, you know, I feel like a lot of the connections that maybe help benefit people from starting a foster friendly community.
Courtney (12:06.22)
Mm-hmm.
Cayela Moody (12:13.762)
and just knowing who knows who that knows who, like that was not something that we had afforded to us either. But I think when you look at all of the different perspectives and challenges that somebody like myself and even somebody that could be considered temporary in a way, since Evan is still active duty, you know, when you look at all of that and you think, well, how could she do something like this here, then.
It's such a beautiful way to really share like if it can be done by somebody that's temporary and has no education and nonprofit and you know, very just you know, what hard hard knock life skills and then it can be done in my mind anywhere and especially for those people that are just super passionate about their community and foster care and finding a space for everybody to engage and that's what I loved.
so much about the app. And I think the other part of the app that was so unique for me on the side of being a foster parent all these years was knowing that we had a lot of resources that, you know, things in the landscape of Jacksonville had really began to shift in a way that there was more support that existed for foster families. We had more churches that were involved and there was just so much exciting things that were happening.
But how could we support our new families that were stepping into this that had no idea about everything that was out there that existed to help retain them? And I had somebody tell me at one point, they were like, you're such, you know so much about what's going on here, but how do we help people that don't know Acala, right? And so when I saw the app, I was like, this is what we need. Like, this is what I've been dreaming of.
It puts everything into one space and the resources and the community support and the events and churches and how they can engage and you know, businesses like there's really room for us all here, but just on the equipping and the resource side for our foster families. I felt like in Jacksonville, we had everything to put it all together and. But we just didn't have access to the app here. So that began a journey of, okay, who, who do I reach out to?
Cayela Moody (14:34.126)
and America's Kids Belong. And through some other contacts, I was able to get ahold of someone that then got me in touch with somebody. And we started into meetings and conversations about what it could look like, you know, and you guys kind of having a different way to possibly move forward and different from your traditional model. you know, there was a lot of, I guess, grace and trust.
in that process, Brian was in on several of those meetings. But I don't know if you guys finally got to the point where you just determined that she wasn't going to leave us alone. So we have to figure out something. so, you know, just being persistent, I think that once again, that goes back to like the parenting and the mentality that you have, you know, in that I will wait for the yes. And I will trust in the timing of that. But I really felt so strongly like.
Courtney (15:11.33)
Yeah.
Cayela Moody (15:28.496)
that we could do this here. I've, bless you guys for hanging in there and reading the emails and continuing to have the conversation. And then finally everybody said, yeah, let's give it a try. And it's been, I think just an amazing success overall, especially in a pilot and the first time that we're really trying to do something like this and learning and the challenges and everything that go into that. But man, we've been...
live now for six months and we've got you know over 150 businesses that are on board and resources and connections and it's just continuing to get better and I'm really excited about some things that are coming next year.
Courtney (16:11.69)
That's great. Let's just back up just a little bit because some people listening might not know what we're talking about. So, America's Kids Belong launched the foster-friendly app. Brian, what, two years ago?
Brian (16:23.96)
Maybe a little bit longer than that, but yeah, two or three years ago.
Courtney (16:28.294)
So we launched this app saying kind of what Kayla just described. We need a spot where foster families can go to an easy go-to spot where foster families can go to and see, you know, who's supportive of us as foster families in our community, businesses, faith communities, events going on, community resources, instead of having to look all over the place. And so we have seven states now, I believe, that have, you know, state partnerships, or we've got people working within those states that can work in their state to get this going. But there are states
Cayela Moody (16:47.366)
We have seven states now, I that have state-funded things to do with the work that we do in those states. We work in those states with the full-time. I've got a state, you from 1997, and they have 43 states that we don't have a state-funded And those state-funded processes, I think, we don't have to be a couple of states, you know, to perform a program. But this is something I really like. I do it behind my And I try to give them interest, give them research, and give them interest. We could go better. And that's really, I mean, it did take that to the best of my abilities.
Courtney (16:57.206)
I know 50 minus seven, there are 43 states where we don't have a state chapter. so Kayla came across and said, hey, we don't have a state chapter of America's Kids Belong in Florida, but this is something I really feel like I can get behind. And like Brian, when you introduced her at beginning, said she's a go-getter. And that's really, I mean, it did take that type of a personality for somebody to come in without our state leadership there. Right, anything you'd add to that, Brian?
Brian (17:16.216)
Hmm
Cayela Moody (17:17.821)
Yeah, you definitely need killer type somebody who's...
Brian (17:22.242)
Yeah, you definitely need a Kayla type, somebody who's one, knowledgeable about the foster care space, two, is a networker and is a starter kind of person. And the evolution of foster friendly, it started off with like, how can we get businesses to engage in this space? Because when they think about social issues, frankly, they tend to limit themselves to either homelessness, addiction,
Cayela Moody (17:27.254)
One, knowledgeable about the foster care state. Two, is a networker and is a starter kind of person. And the evolution of foster care started off with how can we get businesses to engage in the space. When they think about social issues, frankly, they tend to limit themselves to either homelessness, addiction.
Brian (17:51.544)
mental health or human trafficking. And then everything about foster care, which is usually upstream to those issues. so, and the other thing we were trying to solve was how can we get businesses to see that what they do is part of the solution, that they don't have to close their business for a day and go volunteer at a nonprofit, but they can say, actually, our business can be part of the solution. So that happened. And then along the way we said, let's define what a foster-friendly
Cayela Moody (17:52.35)
mental health or human trafficking. And you know, think about foster care, which is usually upstream to those issues. And so, and the other thing we were trying to solve was how can we get businesses to see that what they do is part of the solution, that they don't have to close their business for a day and go volunteer at a nonprofit, but they can say actually our business can be part of the solution. So that happened and then along the way we said let's define what a foster-friendly
Brian (18:21.634)
churches, let's make sure we get all the other nonprofits that are in this space that foster parents may not know about, put them on the app and then civic opportunities like whether it's zoos or things like that, that are unique opportunities. So all that came together. And then the concept of actually a foster friendly community, which
Cayela Moody (18:22.15)
which is, let's make sure we get all the other nonprofits that are in this space that foster parents may not know about, put them on the app, and then civic opportunities like whether it's zoos or things like that, know, that very unique opportunity. So all that came together. And then the concept is actually a foster family community, which...
Courtney (18:38.382)
then the concept of actually a foster family which we are still evolving but kind of a hopeful vision is that there's no man that's a foster family. They could go off and then they might move. So that was a vision to begin to move in ways that I want to play.
Brian (18:48.588)
We are still, it's still evolving, but kind of one of our hope for visions is that there's no net loss of foster families because they quit so often when they're not supported. So that was a vision. And again, Kayla was brave and said, I'd like to try to get this going here as kind of a freelancer though, we're, we want to do all we can to support her. So.
Cayela Moody (18:48.902)
we are still still going that one our hope for vision. There's no net loss of foster families because they quit so often. That was the vision and again, Kayla was brave and said, I'd like to try to get this going here. As kind of a freelancer, we want to all we can to support them.
Brian (19:17.336)
Kale, in your experience, you said you mentioned you have about 150 businesses already on board. What has been your experience, what's worked when you've contacted businesses and what has your response been like? And also a little bit curious because Jacksonville being a military city, do you think that made a difference with them just understanding how to honor and appreciate people who serve?
Cayela Moody (19:19.659)
When you're on board, what has been your experience? What's worse when you contacted businesses? What has your response been like? And also a little bit curious because Jacksonville being a military city, do you think that made a difference with them just understanding how to honor and appreciate people who serve? Yeah.
That was, you know, the military aspect was unique. And I think something that I kind of launched latched on to initially, just because I already knew that there was businesses here that were offering military families discounts, you know, through the experiences that we had been having. And so it was honestly like just an easy ask for those businesses. You know, you're already offering 15 % off for families on, you know, certain evenings.
for military, would it be possible to extend that to foster families through the app as well? And honestly, when we've gone at it from that angle, I haven't heard a no yet. And so those businesses already have a heart for serving those who are serving. And I think that, you know, this is different types of service. And I've always kind of considered that in the Evan serves, you know, our country in one way, and then we serve the community in another.
But it is definitely both just extremely valuable ways of caring for, you know, just the different impacts that you can make here. And so that was one angle that we definitely looked at. We'll continue to build on that aspect of it. Our church was a big catalyst as well here in helping us launch and, you know, local businesses, small businesses that are, you know,
within those networks already were wanting to do something. And I think that that's the thing with, you on the business side is a lot of times small business owners have a heart for this. They want to help. They want to get connected. They want to serve. But what does that look like and how can they? And so just offering them something so simple as, you know, it's a form. It'll probably take you five minutes to fill out. We're going to ask you a few questions and, you know, we'll keep you engaged and kind of let you know, but
Cayela Moody (21:45.506)
It's such a simple process and the feedback that we've gotten from the businesses and the owners there and that they appreciate, you know, on their side of that. And so those are kind of two things. We did also have a woman, same, you know, her name is Katie and she is a small business owner here herself, her and her family. And she had some other connections with other small businesses. So she was texting people and people that she knew. And so that was a huge, you know, big.
push for us as well. so I think for somebody who's not local, it's great to make connections with somebody that is, that has connections. she's, her family was really big in the restaurant world and she brought on several herself. And so I like the variety that we have on the app now and we cast a big kind of net initially. then we'll look to expand, especially in 2025 on the resource side. And I think too,
just from the perspective of, especially here in Florida, there's a shift towards non-relative, relative caregivers and the importance of children remaining in homes where they already have relationships and connections. And so I came into this and I had taken 40 hours of classes and I was prepared for what that was and had been told about what the resources were. Whereas our non-relative or relative caregivers get a call at
you know, 1 a.m. in the morning that their niece and nephew are going into care tonight and, you know, are they willing to say yes or they'll go into foster, you know, and live with a stranger for an unknown amount of time. And so I really try to look at so much of what we do through that perspective as well, right? Like you have no training in this and no knowledge of the court system.
And it's such a huge shift. You weren't prepared necessarily for this call. And so how can the app be such a great resource to them when you haven't been prepared? And how can we really love on them and try to keep the kids in stable, loving, familiar homes as well for as long as possible? And I think, you know, it's a big ask for our non-relative caregivers anywhere.
Cayela Moody (24:02.456)
and how can we support them in this as well.
Courtney (24:06.675)
I'm curious what response you've gotten from the foster and kinship families. Like have you heard what they feel about this app and how it's been encouraging them?
Cayela Moody (24:15.59)
You know, I think especially it's once again, the resource side of things and, you know, knowing and we're kind of working at different things and trying to get very specific on, okay, if I'm a non-relative, relative caregiver and I've said yes, but I need daycare, what does that look like for my family? And so we're trying to help simplify the process for them, right? And so making sure that we have resources on the app that can help them walk through that. And then also just the
burden that I pray we're lifting from the case managers as well. Like as much as we can pour on the resources and the equipping side and supporting our families through that, then maybe it's one less call that a caseworker is having to navigate and try to figure out themselves and maybe they're not aware of it. And so the more that we pour in on the resource and the community support side, I feel like the better and stronger our foster care community will be both on non-relative, relative caregivers and
ideally to ease some of the burden from our caseworkers who are doing such incredible work here. you know, it's such a hard job and so many hours and so much poured into it. And so anytime that we can care for them and, you know, help equip the people so that they can do what they need to do, I mean, I'm all on board for that.
Brian (25:41.784)
So Kayla, I'm curious what you had mentioned a few minutes ago about you excited for the future. What is your vision for what Foster Friendly might look like in the next year or two?
Cayela Moody (25:43.11)
what you mentioned a few minutes ago about your decided for the future. is your vision for what the family might look like in the future? Yeah, I think it's just going to continue to see that slow and steady increase of businesses. You know, we're definitely going to be looking towards making, you know, specific partnerships here in Jacksonville over the next few years, but also just going around talking with agencies, talking with
you know, our local community-based care and how can we support you and the work that you're doing? How can we support our case managers? you know, what does that look like when we free them up of some time?
And so the equipping side is something that we're really getting excited about. It's just a lot of boots on the ground and making sure that everybody's aware. We've got lots of TBRI trainings and things that are happening here as well. Some of them are free. And so how do we continue to push that out for our families and really work on that? And I just feel like our good families that are here that are really loving on kids, that if we can get them over the hump, if we can get them past the year mark, we can continue to educate them.
and equip and resource them, then in two to three years, maybe at that point, they're still in it, which would be a feat in itself. But now, these homes have such opportunity for healing because they've been around the block, they know more about what this is. And I feel like too, at that point, maybe they can take on something that initially they might've been a little nervous to say yes to. And so,
Hopefully, the more that we resource and equip and we keep our families in this longer, we keep them doing it for better, then maybe we'll help to solve some of our issues with medical homes or homes that are taking in teenagers. And so I think that's the part of supporting families that it can be easily missed, but on the retention side of it, it matters so much in a very long-term like aspect.
Courtney (27:51.31)
Yeah, I actually just taught foster care classes for my county this past weekend. It was a weekend long three day training and and I had the privilege of teaching it and at the very end the caseworker came up and whispered my ear and she's like, you please give a plug for teenagers, please? So I did my best, but I told them like, you know, you're going to start and you're going to have your age range. You're going to have, you know, your parameters, but they can also change. You can change that at any point and you can up that. You know, we started saying.
absolutely no teenagers to going to teenagers within a couple of years to now being a therapeutic home. And right there is that spectrum and you can go back down and you can, but I think like you said, like we need to encourage each other. We also need to realize, like I told them this training, this training is great, but the real training starts when you got kids in your home. And then it's, crud, what do do now? And you reach out to your fostering community and you get to know the foster parents because they're going to be your go-to people. Those that have walked, like you were saying earlier, those who have already walked those shoes, who always...
Cayela Moody (28:19.32)
Okay.
Courtney (28:44.822)
already gone through situations that you're going to go through that maybe the general public hasn't gone through. But it really is that encouragement and that support of one another that can keep people fostering longer and stronger.
Cayela Moody (28:54.358)
Yeah, and I think that that really just goes back to kind of the life cycle idea in foster care. you know, I tell families and probably agencies here don't always love that, but, know, your first placement, your first yes, it's okay to keep, you know, those, you know, where you want to say yes to if it's one child, if it's a sibling group of two, if it's...
you know, I'm not ready for a teenager yet. It's okay. Your first yes can be a little bit more narrow in a way, because that's going to be, in my mind, about the hardest is you get your feet wet into this. But oftentimes I see people expand and they say yes to, you know, more complex or different challenges along the way, the same that Courtney has done here. And my fear is that they say yes to something that they weren't necessarily ready to parent.
And then we lose them in, you know, three to six months and they could have been great foster families. And so, so yeah, you know, I always say the, the, the right, yes is better than the wrong. No. And it's okay to do that, but, on the retention side, I don't want to lose you in this and, and, and people oftentimes will be able to take on more as they get into it. We said, when we reopened that we.
we could take teenagers at that point as well. had been in this and I had teenagers in the home. had a little bit of experience at parenting teens at that point. They weren't as scary as what I probably had made them out to be. But then, you you put down what you can say yes to and we get a call for a two year old. so, you know, you never know what the call is that's going to come. And actually, I don't think that any of the placements that we've ever said yes to were actually within the parameters.
that we had initially set. you know, yeah, that's late plants. So.
Courtney (30:48.031)
Isn't that true? And your no could be somebody else's yes. Like I tell people too, I told them like, if you're not in the best mindset, if you're not in a good place yourself, if you feel like it's not the best placement for you, you need to be honest, because that kiddo needs you to be the best you can be. That doesn't mean perfect, but that best you can be for that kiddo. And so your yes can be, or your no could be somebody else's yes.
Cayela Moody (30:54.425)
Absolutely.
Cayela Moody (31:07.289)
Absolutely.
And I think in our family and just our dynamic was that I'm always a yes. And that's a flaw. That's a character flaw for me. And so having Evan come alongside and kind of determining, it's not just me or what I want that day. It's the best yes for our entire family. And that definitely changes and shifts what that yes can look like for us determining what the season that we're in.
Courtney (31:17.996)
Yeah.
Cayela Moody (31:37.132)
And I think that probably having to say no to a child is the most heartbreaking part of foster care. But I agree, like you really have to trust the process and that, you know, we had a little guy that a bunch of people said no to at one point and, and he turned out to be a phenomenal fit here. And we still have a relationship with him after he's gone home with his family. And, so yeah, I was so grateful.
for all of the notes that came for him because man, we got to love him like crazy.
Courtney (32:07.586)
that's sweet. Well, as we close this out, what encouragement would you give to someone that's listening who's interested in bringing foster-friendly to their community?
Cayela Moody (32:17.471)
You know, I think that that's always the mindset, right? That when we go through challenges, when we go through struggles, that we are able to kind of clear a path, hopefully for the person that's coming behind us. And when I really wanted to engage on the next level in foster care and, you know, conversations with agencies and how, you know, we could get involved.
and what that looked like. I was looking for something, but most people were telling me at that moment, like, well, you're going to need to be a nonprofit in order to really do this work. And I mean, gosh, I am not a nonprofit leader. That's not who I am. And even though we'd ended up starting one, I've never fundraised with it, and it just kind of sits there on the side, and I fill out the paperwork for it every year still.
That's not what my calling is. I'm not called to be a nonprofit leader in my community. I don't want to manage all of that. I just want to be able to support and equip others and find ways for people to engage in foster care. And for the longest time, you know, I really feel like starting a nonprofit was about the only lane for people and that's expensive and it's time consuming. And that may just not be where people are at. And so...
When I found Foster Friendly in the app and what the work that everybody was doing, was like, finally, like here it is. Like this could be something that passionate people who are just like me that are trying to find what is next for them in foster care to support and clear a path for those behind them so that they have an easier journey than the rest of us did. Like here it is, it exists. And, you know, and I think that that's, that's what it takes, right? It takes somebody that will continue to say yes.
And I feel like there's so many foster families that are out there. You've already done that and you want to continue to do that. You want to continue to support others and you're ready for whatever the next step in your community looks like. And I just love the fact that it exists now through the app and it allows us to collaborate and it's not competitive. And I think that that's the other fascinating thing in foster care is that there's so much.
Brian (34:24.642)
Okay.
Cayela Moody (34:29.51)
It wouldn't seem that it could be competitive, but it can be. So I love the collaborative nature of the app. And I get to tell people, you know, when I go to different agencies or if I go to different resources and, know, maybe things exist that are pretty similar, that's okay. Like I'm your biggest cheerleader. have, I, we're not competing against one another. I just want to make sure that people know about the work that you're doing. And that is freeing for me as well. And so.
Courtney (34:58.072)
Yes.
Cayela Moody (34:58.874)
There's nothing but wins through the app and getting people connected. And I love that and being able to cheer them on and the work that they're doing and whatever that looks like for churches or businesses. just, you know, ultimately this hope of building an ecosystem in Jacksonville, right? That every child that is in the foster care system feels supported and loved and cared for, and that we're able to help.
return to them to safer homes, but that they had experiences through this that maybe they would not have had access to otherwise. And how can then that next person that's ready for the next chapter for them in foster care say yes to that in their community and be able to start getting other people involved? And your first yes won't be your last yes, I would say in that. just...
allows us to have greater conversations and normalize foster care and that these kids are not here for any reason of their own and that we have the opportunity to care for them and provide that safe space for them while their families work through some challenges that they're facing. And I think that there's such a negative stigma surrounding foster care still. I see it improving. I see it getting better, but we have...
more work that can be done and a foster friendly community kind of helps to take away some of that and just really look at these children for the precious kids and teens that they are and encourage and support and find ways to help them get to be their best and healthy individual.
Brian (36:46.796)
Kayla, I love that you highlighted the collaborative aspect of foster-friendly because we truly believe without that, that the kids and the families will not have their best possible experience and outcomes. And so one of our goals is that we do make it easy for nonprofits and some churches that are providing trauma training or kids nights out or
Cayela Moody (36:51.002)
affective also really because we truly believe without that that the kids and the will not have their best possible experience and outcomes and so one of our goals is that we do take community for non-profits and some churches that are providing trauma training or kids night vows or foster closets or whatever that these families
Brian (37:16.674)
foster closets or whatever that these families would say, I had no idea this was available to me. I've been doing this for years. I wish I knew this. And now we're making it as easy as just finding it at your fingertips. then, now elevating those organizations, but activating those that aren't active at all. So whether it's, you know, it's somebody who's really good at cutting hair and has real heart for these kids, or it's.
Cayela Moody (37:20.71)
would say, I had no idea this was available to me. I've been doing this for years. I wish I knew this. Now we're making it as easy as just finding it at your fingertips. And then now elevating those organizations that activating those that aren't active at all. So whether it's somebody who's really good at cutting hair and has a real heart for these kids or food or
Brian (37:46.424)
you know, food or it's, dance studios, martial arts, trampoline parks, all those kinds of things that kids love. And so I, I mean, I would love to have find, more Kayla Moody's out there in the country. And so if you think you're listening to this, you're like, I'm like Kayla Moody. then I would encourage you to reach out to us and the,
Cayela Moody (37:51.098)
dance studios, martial arts, sampling parks, all those kinds of things.
I would love to have more Kayla Moody out there in country. And so if you think you're listening to this and you're like, I'm like Kayla Moody, then I would encourage you to reach out to us. the demand might feed our ability to supply, but the first thing you need to do is let us know that you exist and that you would have interest in bringing.
Brian (38:16.728)
The demand might exceed our ability to supply, but the first thing you need to do is let us know that you exist and that you would have interest in bringing foster friendly to your community and having your community be foster friendly. So I would encourage you, your next step is just to visit our website, go to americaskidsbelong.org. And then under the about, there's a sub tab that says connect. And then right there, you just give us.
Cayela Moody (38:27.386)
friendly to your community and having your community be foster friendly. So I would encourage you, your next step is just visit our website, americanskidslong.org. And then under the about, there's a sub tab that says connect. And then right there, just give us a little bit of your email address and name and then a few buttons down that says starting a foster friendly community where I live. And then you...
Brian (38:46.956)
a little bit of your email address and name, and then a few buttons down, it says, starting a foster-friendly community where I live. And then you submit that and that starts the process. It's not going to be coming fast and furious. We'll be discovering more about each other and what's necessary to make the next steps, but that's how you'd start. And again, I'd love to see.
Cayela Moody (38:58.241)
that's art process. not going to be coming fast and curious. be discovering more about each other and what's necessary to make the next step. That's how you start. Again, I'd love to see more and more communities become foster-friendly so that more and more families and more and more kids who are in...
Brian (39:14.552)
more more communities become foster friendly so that more and more families and more and more kids who are in care can have the best possible experience and outcomes. Kayla, thank you for leading the way.
Cayela Moody (39:27.608)
Well, and once again, this is this is just normal small town Kansas like girl, right? So there's nothing remarkable about me in particular. I have no education or training and so I feel like what you really need is just somebody that's not willing to quit. And if you've got that kind of mentality and personality, then this could be a great place for you to help your community, especially the kids that are in care there.
Brian (39:36.056)
Thank
Cayela Moody (39:55.448)
really be able to shine and move back into safer situations.
Brian (40:02.04)
Thanks for highlighting that part.
Courtney (40:04.578)
Yeah. And thanks for joining us today and sharing your story and how this worked for Jacksonville. We appreciate you being with us.
Cayela Moody (40:10.579)
Thank you.