Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
What if the problem isn’t your job, but the version of yourself you had to become to succeed in it? Corporate jobs don’t trap us because they’re evil. They trap us because they slowly teach us to disconnect from ourselves. If you're in corporate America and your life looks successful on paper but feels empty in practice, you’re not alone.
This podcast is a space for the quiet questions you don’t say out loud at work. We explore the inner side of change: fear, identity, self-trust, meaning, and the unsettling moment when you realize someone else’s definition of success isn't enough for you. This isn’t about quitting your job overnight or chasing money, but asking what feels right for you and finding the clarity to understand what you’re feeling before you make your next move.
You’re not broken. You’ve just outgrown the life you built.
New episodes weekly.
Welcome to episode 76 of Working towards our
purpose. Today's episode, we are going to talk about finding Community.
But before we get into that, we are going to do our check
in with ourselves. So take a moment and see how you're feeling right
now and see where you're at.
Yeah, so for me, I'm feeling a
little anxious because I just have a lot of. A lot of cool
stuff that I get to do today. So trying to make sure that I can
like, fit it all in and everything. But.
Yeah. Feeling, feeling present here
now. So. So, yeah, let's get into the
episode. So I want to talk about community
today. And it's been sort of an
important thing for me and I found myself
kind of go in and out of phases of feeling like I've,
I guess been in community or have had community.
And I just think it's been like a really important thing for me, for my
growth and like, my. Coming to like,
figure out, like, you know, what I want to do and the things that I
want to chase after and be supported in those
things. So. So yeah, I think
it's important. And let's, let's first start by
like, identifying what community is because.
Because I'm not sure that, like, I really knew what that meant.
A couple, you know, 10 years ago. I'm not sure I really knew what community
meant. And I think that I maybe thought of it as like, friends,
and I think that community is very different than friends.
Sorry, just taking a drink of water. So. So, yeah, I think
friends are great and they're obviously important, but I think community
is, is different than friends. And I think that what makes
community different is that it could be with friends, but it's also
with people that are not friends. And it's also like in a
public setting, in a public environment, which makes
it a little bit different, I think. So
it's also, you know, a community to me is something that
there's like, like minded individuals there. Like, it could be.
In the first episode of this podcast, I interviewed Steve
Roberts. And I think I brought this up before, but like, when he was growing
up, he had a skateboarding community. So it was a group of kids that
skateboarded. You know, they went and hung out and were trying to learn
skateboarding tricks and all that sort of stuff. And like, that's, that's a community, like
you can wrap your head around. It's a group of kids that are skateboarding
and that's like, you know, it can be your friends,
but it's also like there's people coming in and out, you meet new people.
So I think that that's like an important aspect of it and it's different than
just having friends. And for me it feels different because like
I've had, I've, I guess, been fortunate. Not I guess, but I
have been fortunate enough to have had friends, you know,
for as long as I can remember. But I haven't always had
community. So I feel like that they are two separate things and
hopefully articulating that in a way that makes sense.
And then I think the last piece to community too is it's a non judging
space. And I think
school, for example, didn't feel like community for me
because I don't know, it's just like
could be a harsh environment. Definitely didn't
feel like I could be who I wanted to be in
like express the ideas that I want. And so for me, community is like a
place where you feel, for lack of a better term, safe
enough to be who you are. So why do I
think community is important? I think it's important because.
Wow, that sounds like an interview question. It's just
on my notes here it says like, why do I think it's important? So
I think community is important because it's supportive
yet challenging. Like it's, it's
a place where you can like grow and feel comfortable in
growing. It's a place where you can meet new people
and expose yourself to like different things than you otherwise
would have. And something that's been like hugely
beneficial for me with community is being inspired by people that
are in that community. Like having examples of people who are
doing the things that you want to be doing and
like they're doing it in real time. It's like an example. So if, you know,
I want to be a business owner and I'm hanging out with this group of
business owners and. And to be
sorry and to be business owners.
Then I can get inspiration by that and I can like see how that
could be me. And then the last thing that is
helpful with community too is just the accountability of it. Like,
you know, some. If we go and use the
skateboarding example, it's like, you know, maybe every Friday
everybody goes and hangs out and skateboards. So it keeps
you accountable to, to going there every Friday and
you know, focusing on your craft of skateboarding and learning new tricks and
stuff like that. You know, in that example too,
it also keeps you out of. You know, bad
things that you could be doing. You know, whether it's just like
routing your brain or actual Bad things, like,
you know, getting involved with things that aren't. Aren't helpful for you.
So I think that's another aspect of it. And then
lastly, to kind of like solidify,
um, this idea of community that I'm trying to articulate. I
just want to talk about briefly the three different
types of community that I've felt in the past,
like, I don't know, five, six years and since.
Since leaving my corporate job. To give you, like,
more of an example of what community feels like. And then we'll get
into three different ways of, like, how to find community like that.
So. So yeah, when I left my corporate job, there was a year
that I pretty much like, it was
Covid. So, you know, I guess it makes sense that I was, like, alone in
my apartment, but I was just trying to, like, make it work by myself and
I didn't get very far. I remember
specifically that I made, for my first year
of doing it full time, my business. I made the same amount that I did
the previous year doing it part time, which was like, hugely deflating.
And I. It caused me to, like, look at what
was happening and be like, okay, we have to make a change here.
And I realized after that year that, like, I knew nothing about business
and I needed to learn about it. So.
I also moved to New Haven during that time and was
lucky enough to find this co working space
called Known, which doesn't exist anymore, but they had
networkings every Wednesday. And I kind of just like stumbled into it.
Like, I was kind of looking for it, but I met
Barb, who was on this podcast, and she kind of like forced me to go,
which I'm appreciative of because we met for, you know,
weekly for probably a year before it sort
of slowed down. And it was. It was kind of the first place
where I ever felt like I did have community.
At least as far as I can remember. And again, friends are separate
from community for me. But it was the first place that I went and there
were people there that I knew and they were friendly.
And we became sort of friends after the year. But
yeah, it was really hard to go to those sometimes because it's intimidating.
I'm not the most social person, probably lean more towards
introvert. So it is very hard to go and like, go to
a networking event. But this space was a little
bit different. It wasn't like this stuffy sort of corporate networking
events that, like, I've been to in my corporate jobs where everybody was
like, you know, serious face, and you're kind of just
there for, like, the free food and stuff. This was like, a place where people
were, like, working on things and trying things. And
I remember multiple times, like, brainstorming different ideas
with different people. Like, one person had an idea, and
we would just kind of, like, go around and be like, oh, have you tried
this? Or what about this? Or I did this in the past, and it was
just a really, like, supportive environment to where you could talk
about the things that weren't going well. And that was really helpful for me at
the time. And. And then that sort of, you know,
ran its course and.
You know, unfortunately, it wasn't there anymore. But then I found
another sort of community when I became involved
in farmers markets. And I've talked about this before, too, but,
yeah, the. The farmers market community is just really.
It's a space where there's a lot of small businesses and
a lot of people who work with the earth and kind people,
farmers. And yeah, I. I looked for.
Even though it was a job, I looked forward to going to that
every week and being in that environment
and, you know, getting different business ideas
sometimes and even just, like, happy to see
people, you know, like, maybe it was a rainy day or something, but we were
all there and we all showed up and could joke
around with each other and stuff like that. So that was another sort
of space that felt like community for me. And then finding friends within that
community, like, finding really good, close friends
that were in that community, and, like, that's how I kind of found them and
connected. So that was a great place to, like,
foster friendship, too. And then sort of the last
thing that I want to talk about as far as community,
because I kind of also got away from the farmer's market a bit too, and
looking to get back into it in the future, but not really as connected
as I was. So now I have this third thing that I
feel as.
This new thing that is an emerging community for me
is. The new
haven, like, open mic
musician circle that I'm starting to dip my toes into and
seeing what a supportive environment it really is.
And. And yeah, I.
I just want to. Have this, like, quick
story. I know I'm kind of rambling a bit. I think maybe I'm not.
Anyways, I have this quick story of this
guy who attends these open mic nights, and I've only been
to 2 so far, but he showed up to both, and he's this.
He said he just turned 80, and he does, like, this sort of
slam poetry, and it's extremely
entertaining. And he's like, really good at it. And it's, like, funny, and
he's, like, super. Expressive
and, like. Yeah, just like, quite a personality.
And from what I've noticed, or at least my perspective,
I mean, a of couple could. Could not be totally true. But it looks like
he shows up by himself and just, like, comes every week. And, like,
you know, he's friends with the people that also come every week, and there's like,
this rotating group of people that are in and out.
But for him to, like, I don't know, like, I was putting myself in his
shoes a little bit, and I'm like, wow, that's so cool that he can come
to this place where he does this thing and, like,
you know, people pay attention and listen to him when he.
When he's going up there, because he's funny and entertaining and you, like,
completely wild and unexpected. Like, you have no idea what he's gonna do or say.
And, like, that must feel really good for him to, like, have that at his
age. Because, like, I, you know, I know some other
people his age, and they may not,
like, have that. And I don't know, I just think that, like, he must
be really grateful for that place that
exists so that he can come and be his
wild, crazy self. And that's cool and okay,
and people dig it. So, yeah, that's a
newer space for community for me that I'm looking to invest myself more
into. But, yeah, enough about what community is. Hopefully I've painted
a picture. And. And, yeah, so,
like, three ways to find community. Cause I know that it is hard.
Like, I think most.
Most people. I don't know, maybe not most people, but a lot of people
are not extroverted. And these sort of seem like places where,
like, extroverted people will go. And I kind of just wanted to, like, talk
about that. Like, you don't have to be extroverted to go to
these places. Like, I've. I'm very shy. I'm very
quiet. I'm very awkward. I'm
not the best at, like, being in a
public environment. I get nervous and all that stuff. So. But
if I could go and, like, you know, it's hard sometimes, but, like,
I always walk away from it, and I'm always like, wow, that was really cool.
That, like, I'm glad that I went. That was fulfilling.
So, yeah, I just wanted to, like, encourage, hopefully, people that
if you feel like you're not that person or you can't. You can't do that,
it is there for you. And. And once you do it. It's not
as scary as it feels beforehand. And. And I know that we're coming into
the winter months where it's. It's getting cold, and you want to just be
inside and, you know, maybe you want to be the opposite
of social, and that's cool, too. I totally get that. But
maybe if you don't. I have three ways to try to
find communities like these. And the first one is,
this is probably the easiest, is to find a friend. Like, find a friend who
is going to places like this and
just tag along with them, because that's the easiest way to go is like, somebody
else is going, all right, I'll just go with them and we'll see what happens.
And that's kind of how I got into this open mic community was
there's friends that were going and sort of dragged me, and I
made it, and I was like, okay, this is kind of cool. I do want
to participate in this. So. So, yeah, find that friend who maybe is
extroverted or maybe is not, but is going to these community
events and just tag along with them.
And the second one is to find a space. And
I think there's. There's a lot
of, like, little special places that exist out there.
No matter if you're in, like, a city or a small town or whatever,
there's always these kind of places that really focus on and emphasize community.
And there's definitely. Where the open mic is
that I go is a place that really focuses on community and has all
these different types of community events. And if you come on a place like that,
likely they have a calendar of different events going on.
Maybe you're into knitting or crocheting or creative writing
or poetry. They usually have some
sort of event like that that you can go and research and find
and attend one that, like, you care about. And I think
that these special places do exist, and it's just a matter
of, like, finding where they are. I'm in
New Haven, so there's like, a couple of these places, which is cool. But I
know that there's. There's other places there too, you know,
and a lot of times they're like coffee shops or, like, breweries,
places that are like sort of a third space and,
you know, just open for, like, events. And I think
that kind of brings me to the third thing, which is if you don't
know of a space like that, you can always go online and
go to, like, eventbrite or meetup.
And these sorts of websites just have list of
events so you could type in like creative writing and then it'll tell you
based on location where you can find events that are for
creative writers. And likely this will lead
you to a place where like this space is. So that'll kind of like
get you in if you don't know of any spaces. So
kind of kind of cascades down. I feel like the steps do
for being able to find these sorts of community
spaces and, and then, and the last thing I did want to say too
is like, I know you can find community online and
not against that at all. But for me,
being in community in real life is much different.
And I think as humans where we crave that,
and I can only speak for myself, but I do crave that and
I crave it, but I also, it's like, it's hard to do it.
So it's this weird thing of like I can't, you know, I want to be
there, but it's also hard. So
finding spaces that are like inviting and just like super
low key, non judgmental are really
helpful for being able to feel like you
have community. And so yeah, I think in person is way
better than online. Although I know you can have community online
in person. There's just something different about like connecting with humans in
person and you can't replace that. So.
There was one more thought that I had and I just lost it. Let me
see if I can get it back.
Yeah, I guess not.
Dang. It was something about the online versus in person.
Yes, okay, I got it. Sorry. And because
I don't edit, you'll have to listen to that white noise. But anyways,
I think that like this is something that our like
modern culture, and this isn't a new idea, but I think this is something that
our modern culture has sort of gotten away from. And
you know, back in the day it seemed like there was way more places
for community. Like people, you know, went to church and they
had like actually talked to their neighbors and like, you know,
things like that. So I think like as technology
advances and like we can do everything by ourselves,
it's easy to forget that like we do need those spaces to
connect with each other on a human level. And I think that
finding places of community, you know, place
things that you're into can be these sort of like
replace these. You don't have to go to like church every Sunday. But you know,
if you're into music, you can go to open mics. If you're into poetry, you
know, if you're into knitting or whatever, there's there's something out there for whatever you're
into, so. So, yeah, I think I'll wrap it up there. I think
I'll leave it at that. But just.
Just want to talk about Community, because it's been on my mind. And.
Yeah, so we'll end it there. Thank you for
listening. As always. I appreciate you. And I will see you on another
episode real soon. Take.