Whys & Finds

Visit the daycare together, pack a small bag with one thing from home, and keep the goodbye short and the same every day.

Show Notes

How do you get a toddler ready for the first day of daycare?

Visit the daycare together before the first day, practice the trip and the goodbye, pack a small bag with one familiar thing from home, and decide on a short goodbye that stays the same every day. Raising Children Network, an Australian parenting site supported by the Australian Government, suggests spending time at the new place with your child before the separation.

Ellie and Ben walk through the days before the start: practice runs at the real time of day, telling your child when you're leaving and when you'll be back, asking the daycare for their list, the NAEYC tip to ask the teacher if a comfort object can stay in the cubby, and the American Academy of Pediatrics tip of keeping two identical comfort objects so one can be washed. They talk about why Ellie would pass on a big school backpack "to grow into" for a toddler, what to pack the night before, and Ben's better idea: the plush buddy goes back on the bag last thing in the morning, as the first step of leaving. Then the goodbye: predictable, short, and said every time before you go.

None of this promises a morning without tears. If you are worried about your child, ask your pediatrician.

Sources:

Whys & Finds is made by Naturally KIDS.
This episode uses AI-generated voices for both hosts.

What is Whys & Finds?

The whys parents and gift-givers ask about little kids, and the finds that actually get used. On Whys & Finds, two hosts, Ellie and Ben, take one question per episode, answer it up front, and are honest about when something else would suit a child better. Both hosts are AI-generated voices. Made by Naturally KIDS.

Ben: Your toddler starts daycare soon. The forms are done, the spot is yours. But how do you get a two-year-old ready for a morning they can't even picture yet?

Ellie: Welcome to Whys & Finds. I'm Ellie.

Ben: And I'm Ben.

Ellie: Today: how do you get a toddler ready for the first day of daycare?

Ellie: Get ready in three small steps, before the first morning. Visit the daycare together, and practice the trip and the goodbye a few times. Pack a small bag together, with one familiar thing from home. And decide on your goodbye ahead of time, so it's short and the same every day.

Ben: That's it? No countdown chart on the fridge?

Ellie: You can add one if you like. But most of what I'll say comes from two places that write about exactly this. Let me explain.

Ellie: The first is Raising Children Network, an Australian parenting site supported by the Australian Government. Their advice: if you're leaving your child somewhere new, like a child care centre or preschool, "spend time at the new place with your child before the separation."

Ben: Spend time there. With a two-year-old. What does that even look like?

Ellie: Small and a bit boring, on purpose. Ask the daycare if you can visit together before the first day. Stay with your toddler. Look at the room, the cubbies, the toys. Then go home together.

Ben: So the first real morning isn't their first time in the room.

Ellie: Right. Then practice the trip itself. Take the route you'll take on daycare mornings, at about the same time of day. Walk past the door, or drive by and point at it. "That's where you'll play." If you practice at the real time, the real morning already looks a little familiar.

Ben: And practicing the goodbye? Where do you even do that?

Ellie: At your own front door. Pick the words now. A wave, a special handshake, a hug. Do it each time you leave for a short errand. Then on day one, your toddler has seen this goodbye before.

Ben: What do you say, though? "I'll be back at three"?

Ellie: Raising Children Network keeps it simple: "Tell your child when you're leaving and when you'll be back."

Ben: But three o'clock means nothing to a two-year-old.

Ellie: True. So use words from their day: "I'll be back after your nap." Say it every time you do the pretend goodbye at home.

Ben: Okay. Packing. What actually goes in the bag?

Ellie: First, ask the daycare for their list. They'll tell you what they want from home. Some don't want toys from home in the room at all.

Ben: Fair. So the daycare's list comes first.

Ellie: It does. Then, if they allow it, add one thing from home. Raising Children Network puts it this way: "Let your child take something they love from home, like a teddy bear, pillow or blanket."

Ben: And if the daycare says toys from home can't be shared with the other kids?

Ellie: Then ask about the cubby. The second place is NAEYC, the National Association for the Education of Young Children, a U.S. group for early childhood teachers. They suggest this: "If the lovey can't be shared with other children, ask your child's teacher if it can stay in the cubby and come out when your child is sad."

Ben: Lovey. That's the blanket or the bunny they won't let go of.

Ellie: That's the one.

Ben: And if it's the one thing they can't do without? Sooner or later it'll need a wash.

Ellie: The American Academy of Pediatrics has a practical tip for that: "You can also make things easier by having two identical security objects." That way you can wash one while the other is being used.

Ben: Two identical bunnies. Sneaky. I like it.

Ben: Now the bag itself. Here's what I'd be tempted to do. Buy a proper school backpack, a big one. They'll grow into it, and I only buy once.

Ellie: That's the one I'd pass on. A lot of kids' backpacks are sized for school-age kids. Picture that on a two-year-old. Who ends up carrying it?

Ben: Me. Okay, fine.

Ellie: Look for a bag that's the right size for little shoulders. Room for a snack and a treasure, and an easy zipper small hands open on their own. Naturally KIDS makes small backpacks like that, with a plush animal on the front. There are dinosaur ones — a soft corduroy T-Rex, and triceratops too — and unicorns.

Ben: A snack and a treasure. That's small.

Ellie: It is. It's for the few things that are theirs. If the daycare list is long, the rest goes in your bag. And the plush animal on the front is removable. Your toddler can take it out for a hug and put it back.

Ben: And it's going to sit in a cubby every day. Can you wash it?

Ellie: You can machine wash the backpack in cold water on a gentle cycle.

Ellie: One more thing. Let your toddler pack it with you. Snack in, zip it up. If they're in the I-can-do-it-myself stage, let them do the zipper.

Ellie: So pack the bag together the night before, plush buddy and all. Then the morning is simple: breakfast, shoes, out the door.

Ben: Why make a point of breakfast? That seems obvious.

Ellie: Because the first morning shouldn't be a race. Leave extra time. A real breakfast, no rushing out the door. And if your toddler wakes up sick, check your daycare's rules, and ask your pediatrician if you're not sure.

Ben: Can I push back on the night before? You said pack the bag together, plush buddy and all.

Ellie: I did.

Ben: Some toddlers like to take their plush buddy to bed. If it's zipped into a bag by the door, somebody's digging it out at bedtime.

Ellie: That's true.

Ben: So pack everything else the night before. The buddy goes back in its spot on the bag last thing in the morning, at the door. Your toddler does it. That's the first step of leaving.

Ellie: That's better than mine. It turns a chore into part of the goodbye. And it happens the same way every morning. I'll take it.

Ellie: Last part: the goodbye itself. Decide it before the first day. The daycare door is a hard place to make decisions.

Ben: Agreed.

Ellie: NAEYC's advice is to "establish a predictable goodbye routine." In their words, "This will let your child know what will happen next, making it easier to cope with the transition."

Ben: So the same wave and the same words, every day.

Ellie: Exactly. And keep it short. Raising Children Network says: "Say goodbye to your child briefly – don't drag it out."

Ben: Wouldn't it be easier to slip out while they're busy playing? No goodbye, no tears.

Ellie: It's tempting. But Raising Children Network says: "Leaving without saying goodbye can make things worse." So say it, keep it short, and go.

Ben: And if my toddler is crying and holding on to my leg?

Ellie: Stick to the goodbye you practiced. The same words, the same hug, and then you go. It's the hardest part.

Ellie: None of this promises a first morning without tears. Getting ready makes the morning familiar. It doesn't decide how your toddler feels.

Ben: And if it's still hard after a few weeks?

Ellie: Ask the daycare staff how the day goes after you leave. And if you're worried about your child, ask your pediatrician.

Ellie: And if a new bag isn't the right pick for your family, there's still a plan. If your daycare doesn't allow bags or toys from home, follow their list. If your toddler already has a small bag they love, use that one. If there's a favorite blanket or stuffed animal already, that's your thing from home. And if your toddler would rather have another animal, the same small backpack comes with a dog, a giraffe or a teddy bear.

Ben: So whatever ends up in the bag, the practice stays.

Ellie: Right. A visit or two, a few walks to the door, and a few goodbyes at home.

Ben: Okay, let me see if I've got it. One: spend time at the daycare with your toddler before day one. That's Raising Children Network. Ellie adds: practice the trip at the real time of day, and the goodbye at home. Two: ask the daycare for their list, then add one thing from home. If it can't be shared, NAEYC says to ask the teacher about the cubby. And the American Academy of Pediatrics says two identical ones make things easier. Three: say when you're leaving and when you'll be back, in words from their day. Four: a predictable goodbye, short, and said every time. Five: a small bag your toddler can carry, with the buddy going on last in the morning.

Ellie: You've got it. And if you're still looking for that first small bag, Naturally KIDS makes one with a removable plush animal on the front. It's one option.

Ellie: That's it for today. A reminder: the voices in this episode are AI-generated. Whys & Finds is made by Naturally KIDS.

Ellie: That's today's why. See you at the next find.