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Step into the dark side of public speaking with “The Public Speaking Horror Show,” where we expose the chilling fears and epic stage fails of speakers who’ve lived to tell the tale. Join us as we dig into their nightmares and discover the killer tips that turned their terror into triumph.
Laura Reid: [00:00:02] Welcome to The Public Speaking Horror Show, where we dive into the terrifying, cringeworthy, and downright bloodcurdling moments of public speaking. I am your host, Laura Reid. Our guest today is a master of persuasion, a high impact storyteller and if public speaking were a battle, she'd be wielding the one ring of influence. She spent over 25 years captivating audiences, from TV shopping to the keynote stage. But has she ever had a moment where things went completely off the rails? You're about to find out. Please welcome all the way from New Zealand, Monique Bradley. Welcome.
Monique Bradley: [00:00:49] Thank you so much. I cannot begin to tell you how excited I am to be on your podcast. Thank you so much for the invitation. It's an absolute honor and a privilege.
Laura Reid: [00:00:59] Oh, it's such, such a thrill to have you here. Monique and I met in Oahu back in November, and I had the opportunity to be in the audience for her talk, and it was just hilarious. Meaningful. Impactful. Like, all the things. It was so, so good. And I planted a seed then, I've got to reach out to her to be on this podcast. So I'm so glad it worked out.
Monique Bradley: [00:01:23] Yeah, so am I. This is such a buzz for me. Thank you.
Laura Reid: [00:01:27] Oh, good. So we're going to start out with what I'm calling the killer 13. 13 rapid fire questions, just so our audience knows, she did not receive these in advance. So we're just putting you to the test here.
Monique Bradley: [00:01:41] I'm on.
Laura Reid: [00:01:42] Are you ready?
Monique Bradley: [00:01:42] Let's do this.
Laura Reid: [00:01:43] You're ready.
Monique Bradley: [00:01:43] Let's do it.
Laura Reid: [00:01:44] Okay. Number one. What's scarier? Forgetting your lines on stage or losing a live audience's attention.
Monique Bradley: [00:01:52] Losing a live audience's attention. 100%.
Laura Reid: [00:01:55] Yeah, Absolutely. Number two, would you rather sell a haunted doll or a cursed mirror on live TV?
Monique Bradley: [00:02:04] A haunted doll.
Laura Reid: [00:02:06] All right, I'm going off script. I'm going to test your powers of TV promotion. All right, here we go. In about 30 sec, could you please sell me the haunted doll?
Monique Bradley: [00:02:19] I need a prop. It's in my hand. Okay.
Laura Reid: [00:02:21] Perfect.
Monique Bradley: [00:02:22] Have you ever had one of those moments where you've wanted something so desperately? You've been haunted by that image of that product? Well, this is possibly the thing you've been looking for. I'd like to introduce you to this amazing haunted doll, which is actually from the set of that classic hit film, The Exorcist. So if you remember those days of watching that film and feeling terrified, now you can enjoy that terror every single day. But it's not just for you, my friends. It's actually for the people around you that you want to terrify. So if you know you want to make an impact, if you want to drive away those people who annoy you at dinner parties, this is the doll for you. But wait, there's more. If you buy one now, we'll also give you a set of Ginsu knives at no extra cost. Just give us a call and this doll can be yours.
Laura Reid: [00:03:08] Oh my God. Okay. Yeah. We'll put the number up later to order your haunted doll. Order now.
Monique Bradley: [00:03:14] There you go.
Laura Reid: [00:03:14] You are the real deal. I love it. I need that doll. I like the idea of it like driving away people you don't want. You bring it to the dinner party.
Monique Bradley: [00:03:23] Well, you know, it's got to 8 p.m., and I'm really bored of these people. Check out my haunted doll. Yeah, and it just glares at you.
Laura Reid: [00:03:30] Guess I gotta go. Yeah.
Monique Bradley: [00:03:32] And it's like those paintings that it doesn't matter where you stand in a room, the eyes are always looking at you.
Laura Reid: [00:03:37] Oh, yeah? Dolls creep me out. Those antique porcelain old dolls. My grandmother used to have them just up on the shelf, and. Yeah, they, they are. Yeah. All right. Thank you for that. Number three, public speaking style. Yours. Are you more Gandalf the Wise or Gollum the unpredictable?
Monique Bradley: [00:03:58] I am Gollum. There are even the voices, my precious. Like the voices. I can't help myself. I am, I guess, while everything that I do as a speaker is very structured and very scripted, because I started training to do this when I was so young. So I've come through a very traditional style of public speaking training. My style is very much in the present moment and it's very much situational. So it's about co-creating the presentation with my people. Even though there's always a structure, I'm always going somewhere, it's very much about what do the people need right now to feel, to engage. That's my technique.
Laura Reid: [00:04:39] Oh, I love that. I'm going to hear more about that too, as we dive a little deeper, because that's such a good tip.
Monique Bradley: [00:04:43] Oh, sorry. It's supposed to be quickfire questions. Sorry.
Laura Reid: [00:04:46] Oh, it's okay. It's my fault because I want to, I made you, like, promo a whole haunted doll and everything. Just what I had to do. I had to do it, I was compelled. All right, number four, what's your go to hype song before you hit the stage or to get you pumped up?
Monique Bradley: [00:04:59] Okay, so back in the day. Back in the day when I was out in the 90s and I was clubbing, there was a great song by an artist called Doctor Alban. Alban. And it was a song called Sing Hallelujah, sing it, Sing Hallelujah. And I'm not religious really at all, but it was like my theme song that I would walk into the club and I was quite well known in the hometown I'm from. I'd walk into the club and the DJ would play my song. So often before I go on stage, I would hear that, I hear that song in my head and I'm like, yeah, because it's all about enjoying the present moment and making the most of the people that you're with. And so that's really my hype song that happens in my brain.
Laura Reid: [00:05:39] I love it. I love that the DJ played your song when you walked in. That never happened to me. I was like, that was amazing. I love it, you know? All right. Last TV show you binged.
Monique Bradley: [00:05:50] Binged. Over Christmas I had Covid and so it was wonderful because I had to sit at home and rest. And I'm not great at resting, so I was forced to sit at home. Nobody could come and see me and I couldn't go out. And so I binge-watched for the second time, Schitt's Creek.
Laura Reid: [00:06:08] Oh, I love that show. That's a good one for Covid. Yeah, it's so good.
Monique Bradley: [00:06:13] And I laughed.
Laura Reid: [00:06:13] I love...
Monique Bradley: [00:06:14] And I cried and I felt empathy and then I laughed some more and I just loved, I loved every moment of it.
Laura Reid: [00:06:21] So good. "I had Covid and it was wonderful." I love that, I'm going to remember that.
Monique Bradley: [00:06:26] There you go. Quote of the day. Yeah.
Laura Reid: [00:06:30] All right. Number six, would you rather do a keynote in front of 10,000 people with no prep or sell a totally unknown product live on TV?
Monique Bradley: [00:06:40] Oh, that's a hard one, because I'd love to do both.
Laura Reid: [00:06:44] Really?
Monique Bradley: [00:06:44] Oh, yeah. I love I did a lot of improvization through my training as a child and even when I studied, I studied theater and film at university, so improv was a big part of that. So there is something magical when you're working with a product about the discovery phase, where suddenly you flick a switch and it works, and that moment of pure joy and bliss where you're experiencing it for the first time. I want audiences to experience that too, because it makes such an impact in your life. And that moment, the present moment, is where the magic happens. So yeah, 100%.
Laura Reid: [00:07:22] Spontaneity, it's kind of...
Monique Bradley: [00:07:23] You can't manufacture it.
Laura Reid: [00:07:24] There's an electricity. You can't. I love that. All right. Guilty pleasure snack or meal after a big event.
Monique Bradley: [00:07:32] Oh. This is. No, it's a good one. Don't judge me. I'm not going to lie, I am an absolute sucker for KFC.
Laura Reid: [00:07:42] Oh, yeah?
Monique Bradley: [00:07:43] I love me some fried chicken.
Laura Reid: [00:07:47] What are the sides?
Monique Bradley: [00:07:48] I love, love the coleslaw that we have here. And I love potato and gravy. And I love chips with that chickeny seasoning. Oh my goodness.
Laura Reid: [00:07:57] You're making me hungry.
Monique Bradley: [00:07:58] And look. Wicked wings. That's a whole meal for me. I, look, I cry. That made me emotional. I'm not kidding, look, I feel terrible after eating it. I'm not going to lie. Shout out to KFC. I hope they sponsor your show. But to be fair, I enjoy it.
Laura Reid: [00:08:14] Yeah. It's just sometimes it is about living in that moment, you know, and sometimes you just got to eat the candy or the fried chicken or whatever it is, right? I love it. All right. What's the weirdest thing you've ever had to sell or promote? Not counting the haunted doll.
Monique Bradley: [00:08:32] I had to sell period undies. Menstruation underwear. So. Yeah. And not that that's weird. It's not weird at all. But it's not what I thought I would be selling on TV shopping. Yeah, that was probably the most unusual product I think I've ever had to sell. But such a great choice as well.
Laura Reid: [00:08:58] Awesome. I love that. Okay. You have to do a last minute speech on a ridiculous topic. Do you choose how to survive a zombie apocalypse or the secret life of garden gnomes?
Monique Bradley: [00:09:12] Oh, wow.
Laura Reid: [00:09:14] That's a hard one.
Monique Bradley: [00:09:15] They are both fantastic. Oh, I'm not sure. It's like trying to choose a favorite child, isn't it? Really? Zombie apocalypse is is great, but actually, I love the fact that gnomes do look a bit possessed. And I always had this dream of having a wee business, which has become a business now, which is where it's where you gnome someone's garden. So it's like, somebody will go to sleep and they wake up and there's gnomes all around their garden. So yeah, I always wanted to do a little bit of a side business for people like that.
Laura Reid: [00:09:51] Would be the best side hustle ever. I love that so much.
Monique Bradley: [00:09:55] Because I think they're brilliant, I really do.
Laura Reid: [00:09:57] Yeah.
Monique Bradley: [00:09:58] And what stories do they hold? Do they capture the souls of people? You know, we don't know.
Laura Reid: [00:10:03] Yeah, I love it. I mean, the zombie apocalypse, you just need to know how to be prepared.
Monique Bradley: [00:10:07] Yeah.
Laura Reid: [00:10:08] You know, I mean, my go to is a boat on the ocean. I don't think they swim very well.
Monique Bradley: [00:10:12] I don't think they do. Yeah, I think they get waterlogged.
Laura Reid: [00:10:14] Yeah. That's my, that's my plan.
Monique Bradley: [00:10:15] So.
Laura Reid: [00:10:16] Yeah.
Monique Bradley: [00:10:17] But, yeah. Great question. Good question.
Laura Reid: [00:10:20] Thanks. Thanks. All right. What's your go-to mantra that always boosts your confidence?
Monique Bradley: [00:10:28] I am enough.
Laura Reid: [00:10:30] I am enough. That's a good one.
Monique Bradley: [00:10:33] And very, very quickly followed by I am here to serve.
Laura Reid: [00:10:40] Oh, I love that.
Monique Bradley: [00:10:41] Hundred percent.
Laura Reid: [00:10:42] You got to kind of own your own, like, purpose, and then you know how to give that better to others to serve, right?
Monique Bradley: [00:10:51] Hundred percent.
Laura Reid: [00:10:52] So yeah. That's beautiful, I love that. What's your, this is kind of for me, but what's your most like your must see place to visit if you've never been to New Zealand?
Monique Bradley: [00:11:03] Oh, wow. Come on. It is such a beautiful country. I think if, I live in the top of the North Island in the biggest city called Auckland, and we have a beautiful harbor here, it's the biggest population. I think there's 1.5 million people just in our city. So the harbor is stunning. Wellington, where I grew up, also has a beautiful harbor. And there's a saying that you can't beat Wellington on a good day. That's the home of our government as well. Our government, the home of our government is a beehive shape, which is pretty amazing. But if you want the Lord of the Rings experience, you need to travel the length of the South Island. So we are actually two, two two big islands and a tiny little kind of bit at the end, which is a tiny island. So the South Island is, that's where you've got the beautiful rolling hills and the big mountains covered in snow. And that's where you see a lot of sheep and it's a lot of rolling countryside. And, but to be honest, it doesn't really matter where you go in New Zealand. It's just a beautiful country.
Laura Reid: [00:12:10] Yeah, absolutely. I love it.
Monique Bradley: [00:12:12] It's gorgeous.
Laura Reid: [00:12:13] All right. If you could cast any actor to play you in the movie of your life, who would it be?
Monique Bradley: [00:12:19] Oh, well, I have to give a shout out to Melanie Lynskey, who is another Kiwi in Hollywood. She is amazing. I really rate her. When her career launched in Heavenly Creatures, which is a Peter Jackson film here in New Zealand, I was studying theater and film, and I remember seeing the casting call up on the wall for this film, and I was going to put myself in for that film, and it launched your whole career. She did that with Kate Winslet, and before Kate Winslet did Titanic. And I remember seeing the casting call, and I didn't have enough confidence at the time to go for it, and it's one time in my career where I regret not even auditioning, not even putting myself out there. So I would love it, I'd be honored if she played me, because I really think, you know, she's done some incredible things. She's so humble. And yeah, she's just continued in the Kiwi way that we are, which is here to have a good time, here to be with people. And I just think she's done some extraordinary things.
Laura Reid: [00:13:26] I love it. Well, it's never too late and we're putting that out there.
Monique Bradley: [00:13:29] That's true, that's true.
Laura Reid: [00:13:31] Okay. Final question. You've almost made it. To number 13. Do you believe in ghosts?
Monique Bradley: [00:13:37] Yes.
Laura Reid: [00:13:39] Yeah. Do you have a little ghost story you can share with us? Or what makes you be firm in your belief?
Monique Bradley: [00:13:44] Yes, I do. I grew up in a very woo-woo household, so my father went blind when I was 18 years old. No. Sorry. 18 months old. My father always had very a lot of sensitivities around energy and things like that. And when he was a child, in fact, he'd said he could see colors and he could see movements that most people couldn't see. So they actually did a scientific study on him. And it was all documented to show that he had this extra sensory vision. So when he, when I was 18 months old, he went blind and our household was thrown into poverty. And my father always said, this isn't the end of the road for me, because he was a painter and a paperhanger and a musician and a music teacher, and he did theater. That's where he met my mum. And he always said to my mum, we're going to be okay, because one door closes, another door opens, and this has happened to me for a reason, and I feel like I've lost my vision so I can see. And so my father then moved into becoming a speaker and a transformational healer, and he would use the power of language and words to create shifts in people.
Monique Bradley: [00:14:59] So people would walk into the room and he could see how they were, what their state was like. He could even see the images of sickness. And whether you believe this or not is absolutely okay for anybody listening, I welcome disbelief too, because this is just my experience and my perspective and I'm totally down with that. And so he would talk and he would see spirits and he would tell me about that and all of my family are gifted in this ability to see and feel and experience energy. And so that was my normal and it still is my normal. And while I don't necessarily practice that same experience myself or have that same gift, what I do have is that ability to feel and to experience and exchange with people in a dynamic with people. So I'm kind of an extension of that. But yes, my father saw a lot of stuff. Even though he physically couldn't see, he could see the vibration of ghosts and spirits or the tomb of ghosts, but spirits as we know it.
Laura Reid: [00:16:07] Wow. Here in Hawaii, we say we get chicken skin. And I definitely got, yeah, the chills chicken skin from that. I love that line too, that he thinks he went blind so he could see.
Monique Bradley: [00:16:19] 100%.
Laura Reid: [00:16:19] That's. Yeah. Wow that's powerful.
Monique Bradley: [00:16:20] So my dad powerful. My dad was a Pakeha which is what we would call, in Maori, a white person or a European. And my mother is Maori and the Maori people are very spiritual and very much into our spirits are coming with us everywhere we go. And in New Zealand, in Maori we have a thing called Whakapapa, which is what I spoke about on the big stage, which everybody laughed at, which is our ancestry. And what it basically means is that your story goes with you. It means that you're acknowledging and not just giving context around who you are, but you're acknowledging this is who I am, this is who I was, and this is who comes with me. So ghosts or spirits are very much present with me, both from my Maori ancestry but also from my father's abilities. So yes.
Laura Reid: [00:17:11] And that's just like the best word ever. Will you say it again for our listeners?
Monique Bradley: [00:17:15] I know, right? Whakapapa. Whakapapa. Yeah, I know.
Laura Reid: [00:17:19] It's so good.
Monique Bradley: [00:17:19] So weird, right?
Laura Reid: [00:17:20] It's like. Yeah. And it's just so meaningful. It's such a beautiful, what a beautiful word, I love it. Well, you survived the killer 13. And I'd like to just take a deeper dive now. I want to know more about your story, your backstory, what led you to, you know, through your journey of speaking in these really interesting ways as a TV shopping presenter and, you know, keynote and media, like all the things that you do, and it sounds like you really are a master of like, persuasive speaking. So, you know, tell us your story. And I'd love to hear a story of something that didn't go as planned and and learn from you.
Monique Bradley: [00:17:58] Okay. Thank you for asking all these questions. So around the time that my father went blind, um, I was also in hospital. So I was an abnormally large child. I was extra tall. I was morbidly obese, um, as was my father, as was my mother. Um, so I also wasn't walking, so I was speaking in sentences by the time I was one. So I had this developed language skills, but my physical abilities weren't good, and because I was so big, the doctors believed I had a tumor on my pituitary or my thyroid, or they even used the term to my parents saying that I might be retarded. That's the words they used, by the way. Just telegraphing that. So I, so dad had his stuff going on, and then I was going into hospital and I had an MRI or something like that. This is in the 70s, by the way, and they scanned me, and then they brought me back out to my parents and they said, we know what's wrong with Monique. And they looked at my parents and they said, elephants don't make mice. And my parents said, what? They said, well, look at you. No wonder she's so big. And so from that moment, that became my story. And so I carried that story around with me everywhere I went. And it affected my confidence because I'd heard it, you know, so many times. And of course, as I got older, I told it to myself, I can't be anything other than a big kid because elephants don't make mice.
Monique Bradley: [00:19:31] So of course, when you're a bigger child, you, and in fact, it's not even just the size of you, when you go to school, school is tough. You get bullied. And I got really badly bullied. I got bullied by other kids. I got bullied by adults in my life. Not my parents. They were amazing. And I got bullied by teachers who said, well, you know, you wouldn't have this problem if you did more running and you ate better and all that sort of thing. Well, actually, I have a genetic predisposition to my size. It doesn't mean that's my final chapter of my story, though. We can always change our story. That's really important. So because of that, that really affected my confidence. And my parents having met in theater, they said, well look, to help with her confidence and because she has a love of language and stories, let's put her into performing arts. So I started speech and drama training when I was eight, and also I had older brothers who had gone through radio and television as well. So it was something that I saw was so powerful, and I saw my father and rooms full of people changing their lives with the words and the stories he shared. So it was really normal for me. And then finding my voice through performing arts, I found that when I shared stories, I got to sparkle and shine and that I was okay.
Monique Bradley: [00:20:49] And that, weirdly enough, while I was targeted by bullies, when I was on the stage, I was actually safe. And so it allowed me to find my confidence and my style, and it allowed me to make people laugh and to feel seen and heard. And it became an absolute obsession. I started training as an opera singer when I was 11. So again, another opportunity for me to experience what it is to have a voice, and I knew this was something was going to happen in this direction for me. However, when I was 18, I'd already made the decision that I was going to go to radio training school like my brothers, two of my brothers had done, and that was the time that my father also sadly passed away, and I was the only one at home. And my mother said to me, please don't go to Christchurch, which is in the South Island. Stay here with me. I need your support. So the pathway where I thought I was going to go into radio and sharing stories and things like that, that changed. And I instead I did theater and film as my degree. And I was in the alumni with Jemaine Clement, who was on Flight of the Conchords, if anybody knows that TV program. On HBO. Yeah. So we were in the same class and we studied together, and Taika Waititi was studying film.
Monique Bradley: [00:22:10] And so, like, a really cool alumni of amazing, talented humans who have done really well even around the world. There was quite a few of us and I thought, that's okay, that's cool. I'd lost my dad, but I thought, cool, I'll go into this pathway of becoming an actor. And here in New Zealand, like we're a small gene pool of professional opportunities. So I thought, cool, what can I do? I'll either be on our one sort of main TV show here, like our daytime TV show, well, it was night time TV show called Shortland Street, which was a hospital drama. So that's your option unless you get some film opportunities, or I'm going to work in retail or hospitality. So I ended up working in retail. And that's the best storytelling training ground of all time, because you learn so much about character. And I learned so much about communication and how to deal with people and how to help them make better buying decisions. So I developed this love of sales as well. Then I thought I'd better get a grown-up job. So I worked in a bank and I realized that banks are about systems and processes and I'm not. So I had to learn about what is it to, how can I honor myself authentically. So I quit. I was really sick. I was quite depressed because it wasn't in alignment with who I am. Great people, great company.
Monique Bradley: [00:23:29] I'm just not that person. So I felt like a square peg in a round hole. So instead I opened my own performing arts school because of course I would, because I was also, I'd also done dance as well, so I decided I would do that. Somebody gave me the idea. Three days later I opened my school. I had ten students and within three school terms, I had 100 students. And I wasn't there to make them the best singers, dancers or actors. I was there to make them their best selves. So that was my methodology. You know, I made up my own curriculum because nothing existed like that here in New Zealand. So we were doing stuff like Glee before Glee existed as well. So it was just like I wanted kids to get their voice like I got given this opportunity. Parents understood very quickly that what I was teaching wasn't just a nice to have, it was a life skill. Being able to express yourself is absolutely an essential life skill. So that was pretty cool. Then, of course, because I'm an actor and I like to try lots of things, I became a magician as well. So, because of course. Right? Because you've got to keep earning money somehow. And so I, and I was a professional musician as well. So I spent 15 years as a specialist in early childhood education through magic. And I would go into early childhood centers sharing a message that kindness makes magic happen.
Monique Bradley: [00:24:56] So that was pretty successful. I did really well with that, and I won some awards for my work in that space, and I ended up educating the teachers, in fact, about the power of storytelling and how to make it more engaging for children and how to show up and to be present with children, even if it's raining outside and you're washing's on the line at home and it's getting wet. Don't, that doesn't matter. What matters is the present moment and the audience in front of you. So that's what I did. And then I met my partner, Pete, actually, through I was running an open mic night because, of course I was. And he was a musician, and we ended up becoming really good friends. And then when we both ended up single, we ended up in a relationship together and we thought, we've got a huge amount of skills, he came from IT, and he taught me a lot about digital. And I come from storytelling and lots of different forms. So we sort of merged our lives and our businesses together, and we created a digital agency, and that enabled us to help lots of businesses tell their story in the emerging digital space, and that would include social media or websites or written copy through to getting people to go on camera to tell their stories. And then, so this is where it's going, by the way, with how I got into TV shopping, one of our clients.
Monique Bradley: [00:26:10] Her husband worked as a media buyer in television and he said, look, there's a TV shopping channel here in New Zealand and we think you'd be great taking over their social media. I said, that's great. And what he didn't know was I was obsessed with TV shopping because one, I love shopping. Two, I love TV. Three, you get to tell stories. And I thought, this is great. So we go into this interview for me to pitch about, yeah, I'm happy to take over your social media. Here's what I think we could do. And we've got to have nurture sequences. We've got to tell stories. And here's what we could do around this. And talking about what I understood about sales. And the producer was looking at me and he said, have you ever been on camera before? And I said, well, by that stage I'd done numerous TV commercials. I'd been on four feature films, two international, Avatar and The Water Horse, and two New Zealand films, one called Eagle Versus Shark and another one called Second Hand Wedding. So I'd done all that and spoken and toured with theater companies and done all sorts. I said, yeah, yeah, happy to, happy to do it. And he said, would you like to do a camera test? I said, sure, like playing it down and sort of going, oh my goodness, this is like my dream.
Monique Bradley: [00:27:23] Wow. I can't believe it. And then I went, oh my goodness, who am I to do this? Well who do you think you are? So I had all those inner thoughts of wow, what's going on? You know that stuff? Yeah, that's it. So a week later, I did a camera test and it was exhilarating. It was so good, terrifying and exhilarating all at the same time. And then a week after that, I was offered the job, and the producer rang me and he said, how much do you want to get paid? And I said, $1 million. And I said, but that means I have to generate at least $10 million in sales. And he just said, I really like you. And so I didn't, I didn't get paid $1 million. Disclaimer. But it was, it did enable me to step into the world of live TV. And so we ended up broadcasting across New Zealand and Australia. Most of the content was prerecorded, but I really pushed for live because there's something beautiful about the present moment. And when you click record and being live with an audience. And so yeah, it was amazing. So I worked with the channel for a year, and TV shopping at the time wasn't deeply popular here in New Zealand, and it's only now that we're starting to see live shopping is really taking off here in New Zealand. Well, it will start to, we're several years behind the world trends, unfortunately, but it taught me some of the best lessons about confidence, about backing yourself, about knowing your product or knowing your brand, knowing your stories.
Monique Bradley: [00:28:55] And with every story having a really decent message, a solid message, creating desire. How to influence people, the power of passion. I learned so much through that experience. And then after that, since then, Pete, when I finished, he built me a studio here in our house, and since then we've actually reached over 200 million people promoting products, brands, telling stories, all from the comfort of our own home. And that's the power of digital and what digital can give us now. And it all comes back to one thing, people buy from people. And if people aren't telling their stories, if people aren't on there sharing value about what they do, how they serve, how they help, they are missing out on the best advertising opportunity of their lives. So now I get to talk about why this is important, and I get to, as a speaker, talk about that journey of living with imposter syndrome. Talk about being that kid who didn't think she was valued because elephants don't make mice. But talking about now that every day I get to get to write a new story. And that is the power of being present and autonomy and knowing that every day you get to create who you are. So that's it. And that's like, that's what I talk about.
Laura Reid: [00:30:16] The chapters of your story are absolutely fascinating. There's so much to unpack. I was kind of stuck on you're in Avatar like, and and you're like, go-to was like, you got to make money somehow, and then you went to magician. Yeah. Like it's just.
Monique Bradley: [00:30:32] Because I can, I guess I'm one of those people who are ridiculously wired to go, well, of course I can do that. Of course. And the more that I embed that, embed into that and embody that moment, that belief that I can do it, well, of course it's going to happen because our brains are hard wired to then look for that opportunity. So I think that I'm very lucky. But then at the same time, I believe you create your own luck.
Laura Reid: [00:31:08] Mhm. That's so funny you said that. That was, my dad used to always say that, that he didn't believe in luck. You create your luck. You create a situation for luck to happen to you.
Monique Bradley: [00:31:20] 100%.
Laura Reid: [00:31:20] Yeah. And I haven't heard other people say that before, but... Yeah.
Monique Bradley: [00:31:24] Is that right?
Laura Reid: [00:31:24] Yeah. Yes. That's right. So if you could go back and tell your bullies something, what would you tell them?
Monique Bradley: [00:31:33] Watch me.
Laura Reid: [00:31:35] Mhm.
Monique Bradley: [00:31:37] 100%. I wish, I mean obviously we can always look back and go gosh, I wish I knew this about myself when I was 15 or 16 or 10 or... for me, 3 year old me still having that memory of being told you're just a fatty. Look at you. You'll be nothing. And I can still see that person telling me that. And knowing and having the ability, obviously 3 year old me couldn't look up at that person and go, watch me, because I didn't have that capability or that understanding. We, a lot of those formative stories that we hear, especially under the age of 6, are so instrumental in forming what we, what is called our self-concept or our identity. And now I wish I could go back and tell that person, adult Monique, talking to that adult going, you have no idea of what is possible. And while you may not have seen who I am or what I can become, you also do not have the ability to define what that is.
Laura Reid: [00:32:38] Mhm.
Monique Bradley: [00:32:39] So yeah it's, hindsight is wonderful.
Laura Reid: [00:32:43] It's. Yeah. It's so powerful how like I'm hearing it's almost like there's these two, two different stories and they're almost at conflict with each other. Like you have this imposter syndrome that creeps up like many of us do. Right? But then there's also this part of you that has made such, like, bold choices, you know, because, like, of course I did this, and of course..
Monique Bradley: [00:33:05] I know, right?
Laura Reid: [00:33:05] Yeah. Pay me $1 million. Next time someone asks me that, that's what I'm saying, by the way. $1 million.
Monique Bradley: [00:33:13] Take it, it's yours. It's a gift. I think it's because I'm a Gemini. And so, like, I feel like I've always felt like I've lived in duality. And the fact that I'm Maori and Pakeha, you know, I'm both of those things and, I last year because of course I did, I had a midlife crisis and did my Masters and I did that in creative practice. And I'm, I believe I'm the first in the country to do a creative practice Masters focusing on keynote speaking. It's never been done. And so for me, I talked about this concept of living in duality and how that helped me identify myself and how I could bring in for the first time parts of my ethnicity and from Te Maori, which is the Maori world view, the fundamental concepts of manaakitanga and how we look after hospitality, and whanaungatanga, how we make audiences feel like they're part of our family. Kaitiakitanga, which is our ability to be the caretakers of knowledge and wisdom and to hold these baskets of wisdom for our audience to engage with. All of these principles and how I have started to accept that into my identity, and that that's the subtext of everything that comes with me as a speaker. It's like my own methodology or approach towards being a speaker, and it's what grounds me. So yeah, so everything for me, my entire life has been duality.
Monique Bradley: [00:34:42] My mother always used to say, gosh, Monique, you're a woman of extremes. You're this, then you're that. But I think, I think that's really what it is. So yeah. So even the imposter syndrome you mentioned. I battled with that terribly, and it was only about a year ago. I was hosting an event and this man came up to me and he said, Monique, I've just been watching you and you are just everywhere, and you're here and you're there and you're doing this, and every person is being acknowledged by you, and you are so bubbly and full of life. And how is it that you just have this you've got this natural confidence? How does it happen? And I said, because I know who I am, I know where I've come from. I know how I can help, I know how I can serve, and I have absolute, unwavering faith in my ability. And I remember saying it at the time and he went, wow, how can I learn that? And I said, well, I'd love to work with you. I'd love to help you find your voice. And I remember walking away from that going, wow, that was really good. Wow. That's actually the first time in 50 years that I've been able to say that. And there's no resistance.
Laura Reid: [00:35:50] That's so powerful.
Monique Bradley: [00:35:52] It was. And then I went, okay, okay, I think I'm landing.
Laura Reid: [00:35:57] Yeah. To not criticize yourself or second guess what you said and just be like, wow. Yeah. Way to go.
Monique Bradley: [00:36:06] Literally, literally I went, you go you. That was awesome. I should write that down.
Laura Reid: [00:36:14] Our, for our listeners that struggle with imposter syndrome or feeling like they're not enough, like, what did you experience that could really help them? Or what are some of their tips to help them break through and feel that feeling like you felt of that, you know, authentic confidence, like you're so grounded in your mission and your voice, what can help them get there?
Monique Bradley: [00:36:38] Yeah, I think it's all anchored this, gosh, where do we start? There's so many tips and tricks and everything that I can share. But I think one of the most important things is to focus on your why. So I often teach when I'm teaching people to go on camera, I often teach them to think about how they serve rather than thinking about getting your script perfect. Or, you know, if you're reading off teleprompter. I don't care about stumbles, I care about presence. And to remind them that it's not about them. It's about the people that they're serving with their message. When they focus on that, it starts to calm down that adrenal response, and they embody more. And what comes out is really authentic and really present. And they go, when they finish, they go to me, gosh, actually, that wasn't as bad as I thought it was going to be. And that's where, that's a step. The the reality is that imposter syndrome apparently affects, I read a study, it affects about 82% of the population on a daily basis. So even Lady Gaga, she struggles with it. And I read an interview with her that says she still wakes up every single day feeling like that geeky 16 year old girl who doesn't quite fit in. And what works for her is to focus on her audience and how she can serve them. And the more that she does that, it takes out the ego. It takes out, you know, because it happens in this industry. It takes out everything. And she's simply there to serve. And I believe as speakers, we are there to serve with these messages and these stories and these challenges that we've experienced that can make people feel a little less alone when they hear our stories or to make people feel seen, or allow them to feel seen, or to gain some wisdom from the crap that sometimes we go through to find that message in all that mess that we endure sometimes, you know.
Laura Reid: [00:38:42] It's such a powerful tip for advice for everyone, you know, because sometimes we're focused so much on ourselves when we put ourselves out there, right, into whatever spotlight that is for us, we're focused on how we look, how we sound, or, you know, it's just the mirrors on us. And of course we're going to be critical of that, but we turn it around and reflect out at that audience. It goes away. Yeah. That's so beautiful. I love that, I love that. Okay, before we go, share with us a story where things just went awry, whether it was selling something or, you know, I'm sure you have them, but pick one of your favorites. And yeah, we'd love to hear how you recovered from that.
Monique Bradley: [00:39:21] I have so many. I have so many. I, in fact, I talk about, in my main keynote that I deliver, I do talk about one particular story. I won't share that one today, but I do give you one of the nightmares that happened in live television. And it was, but it was good because it was a really powerful learning story. But the one I wanted to share was, I was speaking, I was the emcee of a pretty big event. It was, I won't go into the details because in case this person and the organization hear. But I had trained a number of the speakers for this event and they were phenomenal. And none of them were speakers. They were business owners and they were all women. They were really powerful. They'd done incredible things. And so my job was to train them so that they did like a mini Ted talk for each presentation. And there was one woman that I didn't train and she was part of, she was one of the sponsors of this event. And so she was representing the organization, and I'm not quite sure what happened. But before the event where everybody was doing a mix and mingle, there were probably 300 people at this event, everybody was doing a mix and mingle, and she'd had maybe 1 or 2 glasses of bubbly.
Laura Reid: [00:40:40] Uh oh.
Monique Bradley: [00:40:41] And so the one thing I always tell my speakers is don't do that. Hydrate, hydrate. Right? So I thought, that's great. I'd opened up, the energy was great, the vibe in the room was amazing. The audience was with me. I'd done all of the housekeeping, and it was my honor to introduce one of the sponsors. So I welcomed her up onto the stage, and I thought, she's looking a little glazed, if you know what I mean. A little, little glassy in the eye. I thought, oh, that's going to be okay. So she came up to the stage and she started speaking and she was in the wellness space. So anyway..
Laura Reid: [00:41:17] Interesting.
Monique Bradley: [00:41:18] So, like, "I'm really happy to be here today and, um, uh, anyway, it's a good, it's a good day, and I'll just tell you a little bit about what I do. And..." And she was speaking like this and I thought this is not okay. This is not okay. Anyway, the event coordinator messages me going, I'm not sure that she's okay. Get her off the stage. So anyway, I walked up onto the stage and I just walked up beside her and put my hand on her back, and I said, thank you so much for everything that you've done. It's really beautiful to have you here. And then she looks at me and the microphone's is still on, she goes, I've still got like two pages to read. Are you telling me to get off the stage? I said, you've given a great presentation and I just really want to acknowledge you. So thank you so much, ladies and gentlemen, please give her a big round of applause. And everybody claps. And they're all kind of looking a little confused. And then I hear her walking off the stage, and then she falls off the stage and knocks over a giant glass vase full of flowers.
Laura Reid: [00:42:29] Oh, no.
Monique Bradley: [00:42:30] Poor thing, poor thing. And you hear the whole room go *gasp* and suck all of the air out of the room, and I just had to go, ladies and gentlemen, thank you so much for your attention. Just eyes to me for a moment, because I've got a special competition coming up, and I really want to share with you all of the details about... You're just going to love this. And then in the meantime, I could hear, like, the emergency services team rushing over to her to pick her up, and they just picked her up and very gently took her out. And then the audience just came back to normal. But it was my energy that brought them back to focus. I really felt sorry for her. What I learned was that she'd actually had an anxiety attack.
Laura Reid: [00:43:13] Wow.
Monique Bradley: [00:43:14] And it was so powerful that it made her look like she was drunk. So my message from this is that one, we and this was me can be very, very judgmental in the in the heat of the moment. I did, I judged her. I thought she was drunk. And number two, stay hydrated, always, with water, but also focus on your wellbeing because we cannot speak unless our wellbeing is in place first. So your state determines your experience as a speaker. So wellbeing first and always. So there you go. Big nightmare.
Laura Reid: [00:43:57] That's, oh wow. I love the compassion though. And the, I love the lesson that came out of that was unexpected for me because I thought it was going to be kind of you centered, but I should have learned, like, of course it's no, you learned about someone else. Like, you never know the struggles they're going through. And we are so quick to judge.
Monique Bradley: [00:44:18] I did, and that's why I'm very straight up about this.
Laura Reid: [00:44:20] I would have done the same.
Monique Bradley: [00:44:21] I did, and I thought, and I talked about it for months and months and months. Well, not not openly, but to myself and like to my close proximity, close sphere going, wow, can you imagine this happen? But then to find out that there was something so much bigger. And I had so much empathy for that poor woman who had experienced such a publicly challenging experience. And so that really changed my perspective, even more so about why supporting people to become confident speakers is so deeply important.
Laura Reid: [00:44:51] Absolutely.
Monique Bradley: [00:44:52] So not quite as humorous as we think, but so important.
Laura Reid: [00:44:55] No, powerful. I'm so glad you shared that. Yeah, that's a huge takeaway. Where can we find you? Follow you? What do you got coming up that we can be part of?
Monique Bradley: [00:45:05] Yeah. Thank you. People can head to my website. MoniqueBradley.tv. Nice and easy. I love connecting with people through social media. I am, having run a digital agency for 11 years, I'm usually pretty active in socials and I just love connecting with people. I love it when people personally message me to connect, and most importantly, I love it when we make that connection so I can see what stories they're telling, because people that I follow continue to inspire me too. And I think that's the nature of what we do, right? Stories are meant to be shared, and we continue. It's this beautiful, reciprocal space of inspiring one another to be better, to be greater, to share more. All of that stuff. So the more that I connect, the more life is better.
Laura Reid: [00:45:54] Ah that's fantastic. And we're going to have all of Monique's places that you can follow her. So you can do that. I strongly recommend it. I mean, you're just, I could speak to you for hours and hours. There's so many more questions that I have. But if there's one last message that you want to leave everyone with that you just, you know, one final thing to say. What would it be?
Monique Bradley: [00:46:18] We are all storytellers, so make your message meaningful.
Laura Reid: [00:46:25] Oh, I love that so much.
Monique Bradley: [00:46:28] I even have it.
Laura Reid: [00:46:28] Thank you.
Monique Bradley: [00:46:29] I even have it on a t-shirt. It's what I believe whole-heartedly.
Laura Reid: [00:46:35] Oh, that's, yeah. That's so powerful. Thank you. Thank you so much for being here. Thank you for sharing all your stories and your magic with us. I mean, of course you did live magic because you are the most magical person.
Monique Bradley: [00:46:50] Too kind. Too kind.
Laura Reid: [00:46:52] Thank you so much to our listeners for watching. Please make sure you like and subscribe so you never miss these amazing stories that we have. And until next time, remember that the only thing scarier than public speaking is not sharing your story. I'm going to leave it at that today. Thank you, Monique.