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Interested in conversations about the nature of reality, multidimensionality, truth, being, religion, spirituality, life, love, consciousness, and language?
Wondering how to thrive in an uncertain and rapidly changing world?
Do you want to learn about things you've never experienced or heard of?
If so, we might just be for you!
Wendy Frase 0:00
Welcome to Wake-Up Call for the Soul with Bill and Wendy. Hello, Bill.
Bill Frase 0:06
Hi, Wendy.
Wendy Frase 0:08
Today's episode is titled, How do we respond? This is a continuation from our past few episodes on resistance, so in the last episode we talked more specifically about the flavors and dynamics of resistance, and in this episode we finally get to the payoff of using resistance to help us choose what we deeply desire. So hopefully there will be a good payoff, Bill.
Bill Frase 0:37
Here's hoping. This whole series, this most recent series of episodes, has been about resistance, and I find it interesting that how I, in my own way, have struggled with this episode being the conclusion of that series, because it's supposed to give all the answers. By listening to this episode, we escape resistance forever, probably not.
Wendy Frase 1:01
Bummer, but it's reality, sort of.
Bill Frase 1:05
In the conditions right now, it is. It's a temporary thing. Well, eventually it'll be much easier to get out of resistance, but we're still in this...
Wendy Frase 1:15
We're stuck in the flavors of resistance?
Bill Frase 1:18
Yeah, and the false reality that feeds those things and makes us think that they're real and that they're helpful. Yeah, so for me resistance really is it's like this compass, it always points in the opposite direction of whatever is for our best and highest. And so in this episode, we're going to try to talk about some of the, we could call them tools, techniques that can help us to recognize a lot of what we talked about before was about recognizing resistance, but now as we recognize it, it becomes part of the formula for making this shift from a more resistant way of being to a more responsive way of being.
Wendy Frase 2:01
And that seems to be a big key, as you said, recognizing or just awareness, and we talked about that last time, being aware that we're doing it, that we're being in a resistant mode. I feel like sometimes I'm pretty good at recognizing it, but then what do I do with it? It's a change of perspective.
Bill Frase 2:28
Yeah, because way of being really at its essence has to do with seeing and perception, like we talked about in the last episode. When you look at self-deception, when you look at resistance, it all has to do with how I see myself, how I see others, how I see the world, and then the emotions that gel all this stuff together and complete the illusions, so that I am absolutely convinced, because my feelings are so strong and so clear that I am right, even though I am wrong, not so much in the what, but in the how.
Wendy Frase 3:05
Okay, and shifting out of this resistance, it does require us to think or sense how we may be and do differently.
Bill Frase 3:17
Yeah, yeah, that's a, that's a huge part of it. So,
Wendy Frase 3:20
Okay,
Bill Frase 3:21
So maybe we can just move into this part of it now, where we talk about, and again, so much of what we've talked about has come from the Arbinger Institute and their efforts with regard to what I'll focus on in terms of interpersonal resistance, and so their methodology is very much focused on, well, how do we get out of interpersonal resistance into interpersonal responsiveness, and so we'll talk about that, but I'm also going to share some of my own tools or practices or approaches that I have used to help me not just in the interpersonal realm but also in what I'll call the intrapersonal realm.
Wendy Frase 3:59
Okay, sounds good.
Bill Frase 4:00
Yeah, so and what we're going to focus on here is coming from the Arbinger Institute's second book, The Anatomy of Peace. It's one of the books that we've talked about, and in that book they have a very clear and specific methodology for shifting from interpersonal resistance into responsiveness, and so we're going to go through that here in terms of their approach to shifting from interpersonal resistance to interpersonal responsiveness.
Wendy Frase 4:31
Sounds good.
Bill Frase 4:32
All right, so they actually have numbered steps, and we're just going to go through these numbered steps. So the first step is looking for signs of resistance, things like blame, justification. They actually use the word horriblization, which means making others out to be horrible, to make them into monsters or evil beings, or some form of objectification that makes people appear to be way, way, way, way, way worse than they actually are.
Wendy Frase 5:05
And I think also, too, if you look for signs of resistance, what if we're having a conversation with someone and we just feel like a little bit of anger, or or being upset for something that has been said, that could be it too.
Bill Frase 5:20
Yeah, and part of this first step is also we're calling them the common flavors of resistance, like we've talked about in the previous episode. Do I see evidence of the better than box again? We're not looking at other people, we're looking at ourselves, so you know, am I somehow thinking that I'm better than other people, or that I deserve, or this must be seen as box for ourselves, where we're in a performative mode, and we need people to see us a certain way.
Wendy Frase 5:48
What about, like, a pet peeve? Is that a form of resistance to in this first step when we're looking for things that, like, trigger us? Maybe we're...
Bill Frase 5:57
Yeah, yeah, it could be.
Wendy Frase 5:58
It's a pet peeve, which that doesn't mean it's bad for everyone, it's just something that gets under our skin.
Bill Frase 6:06
Right.
Wendy Frase 6:07
So, that would be a sign of resistance. Look for it, figure out why you're feeling that way. Okay. All right.
Bill Frase 6:13
Yeah. And the worst than form of resistance, where I just think I'm a terrible, awful person, and I resent it, but I don't really know how to get out of this whole victimhood martyr kind of mindset or approach to my existence.
Wendy Frase 6:28
But how does that really fit in interpersonally, like if you're in a relationship or you're having a conversation with someone, because I feel like worse than is when you're depressed, you're by yourself, you're oh, I did this, I'm this person, I feel horrible, yada yada yada.
Bill Frase 6:50
Worse than, another way to look at it is, is the victim or the martyr archetype.
Wendy Frase 6:55
So if you're in a pair or a group, and...
Bill Frase 6:59
Yeah, I mean, if you see yourself as being systematically victimized by one or more people in your world, so this could be related to race, class, gender, gender identity, age, you can have a victim mentality attached to so many different things, either in terms of interpersonal dynamics, but also in terms of class or group dynamics.
Wendy Frase 7:26
Now, this may not be a good example, but I just have a question. If this is a sign of resistance, where I'm in a book club of all women, and we recently read a book that perhaps triggered one of the women, because it was very male dominated, of course. It brought out the more male dominance, of course. It was by a male author. It was a book about a man and a son. Could that be if you feel resistant to a book like that in a discussion because of being more of a feminism, is that an example that we look for, even those things, how we feel about reading a book, and then coming up in a discussion?
Bill Frase 8:12
Yeah, I mean, because, yeah, all of those things, when they have it's the thoughts of, okay, how do I see myself? How do I see other people? How do I see the world, and how am I feeling? What are my emotions that are coming up about this? So, if someone reads a book like that and they have these strong feelings and these things, like you were talking about pet peeves, there's there's a possibility only that person themselves will go for sure,
Wendy Frase 8:41
And I'm supposed to look at it in myself, and this wasn't my personal example, but I'm just trying to understand this worse than, because I have, as I explained on the last episode, it's hardest for me to see that I can definitely see in myself better than, I deserve, must be seen as, but worse than is a little harder for me to pinpoint in these signs of resistance.
Bill Frase 9:06
Yeah, and again, everybody has their, their preferred styles or their more common flavors of resistance, and it just happens that you, for whatever reason, because of unique circumstances of your upbringing, your unique constellation of privilege that worse than just wasn't really on your radar, it really isn't, and so it's one that you personally have a harder time dealing with, whereas for me, I'm very familiar with worse than, I'm, and lots of people are, and again, a lot of times it's related to more of a social status or a class where people are denigrated, or that they are in some way dominated or oppressed.
Wendy Frase 9:45
Right. And I've had a lot of privilege, even in the different jobs that I've had. I haven't felt that as much as perhaps other women, which I understand, but as you said in the last episode, or maybe two times ago. It's easy to see it in other people, but what we're trying to get at is looking for it in our own lives.
Bill Frase 10:08
Right. Yeah, because we are, we are at the center of our universe, and so if we don't deal with our stuff, we can't help anybody else deal with theirs. All we're going to do is we're just going to perpetuate these dynamics of interpersonal resistance, violence, oppression, denial, whatever. It's, it's all baked into that false reality, and so the only way that we really escape the false reality is by waking up within ourselves to the truth of who we really are, and that truth is relational. Who are we within and to ourselves? Who are we with and for other people? Who are we in relation to the broader world and cosmos? And what are the emotions that actually reflect that relatedness, that connectedness? Okay, so we're looking for signs of resistance. That's step one, and we talk about that a bit more in depth.
Bill Frase 11:04
Number two, find a more responsive place or situation or relationship. This could be relationships with people that you are generally more responsive with and to, responsive memories of love and connection, responsive activities that bring you joy, responsive places like nature or places that you consider be safe or secure for yourself.
Wendy Frase 11:28
This almost seems to me like what you're saying, or what Arbinger is saying in this step, is to walk away.
Bill Frase 11:37
Yeah, sometimes you have to.
Wendy Frase 11:38
Okay, but you could deal with it in that situation, if you can pivot your thinking and adapt and settle into a more responsive place to then continue, perhaps a conversation, because maybe you're around someone and it's a conversation.
Bill Frase 11:53
It's possible, but I mean, a lot of times when we're triggered, triggered, and that's when people, you know, before they say something they're going to regret. "Excuse me, I'm going to go to the restroom. Or, I need to take this call, or I need to step out for a smoke," or whatever it is that. Yeah, oftentimes what we have to do, we have to create some kind of space that allows us to take a step back, literally and figuratively, so that we can reconnect to more of the truth of who we are, and to create a bit more distance or separation from that resistance that has really cropped up within us, because resistance can come up very quickly and very strongly, and it can be overwhelming.
Wendy Frase 12:45
And I get that you don't want to say or do something that you regret or is unkind, that kind of thing.
Bill Frase 12:53
Yeah, all right. And then, so the third step here, according to Arbinger in The Anatomy of Peace, is ponder the situation anew from this more responsive perspective. So, the idea is that I have made choices that help me shift more into responsiveness, so that now I can look at the situation from a different point of view, because again it's all about how am I seeing? So I can begin to ask questions like the ones that are going to come up shortly here and I think this is a good place to remind ourselves that genuine curiosity about ourselves and others is a key component of responsiveness. So it's hard to be curious when we need to be right, because that's what resistance is, resistance is feeling the need to be right and to think we're doing the right, that we're doing the best we can, even though it's actually a lie, it's a self deception. We are deceiving ourselves into thinking that whenever we're in resistance. So, curiosity again, it's a sign that right, we've talked about before. Why am I feeling this way? Why am I having these thoughts? Why am I thinking about myself in relation to these other people in these ways, and so here's some of the questions that Arbinger is suggesting. What are this person's or these people's challenges, trials, burdens, and pains? How am I, or some group of which I'm a part, that I may represent for these other folks, adding to these challenges, trials, burdens, and pains? For example, if someone is expressing their challenges with their experience of, say, racism, and we say something like, "Oh, that's no big deal, everybody deals with that," and yet here we are appearing to be a white person, are we really helping in that circumstance? We really, or are we trying to shut something down because it makes us feel uncomfortable, because somehow it's challenging our view of ourself. So, again, how am I, or some group of which I'm a part, adding to these challenges, trials, burdens, and pains? Another question: In what other ways have I or my group neglected or mistreated this person or group? Because remember, we have to remember that we wear multiple hats, and we may think of ourselves as one way, but other people may be seeing us in a different way through their own filters of resistance, and if I just come back at them with more resistance, then I'm only reinforcing what they think to be true.
Wendy Frase 15:22
True.
Bill Frase 15:23
Here's another question: In what ways are my better than, I deserve, worse than, and must be seen as flavors of resistance, obscuring the truth about others and myself and interfering with potential solutions? Again, these, the way I'm seeing myself, others, the world, and my emotions. How are these things, these constellations that I'm carrying in this moment that I am expressing as a way of being? How are they in their own way blinding me to what is true and real? And in that interfering with, or blocking, in other words, resisting the possibilities for actually solving these things or addressing them, whatever the challenges or resistance may be? All right, and the last question in this third step here, What am I feeling I should do for this person or group? What could I do to help? these kinds of questions. And this is really the key move that when, when we're in resistance, all we're focused on is how they're wrong and how I'm right, and this last set of questions, what am I feeling I should do for this person or this group? What could I do to help? This is the turning point, because now I'm in curiosity, now I'm, or I've gone deeper into the curiosity from what's going on within me to now, well, How am I to respond? And so this is their, the Arbinger step four is very simple. It is to act upon what I have discovered from these kinds of questions I've asked myself to do what I'm feeling I could do to be helpful either to that individual or to that group? And again, the focus here is really on this interpersonal mode, but it has some intrapersonal applicability, and we can talk about that. All right, so that's kind of the Arbinger process for shifting from resistance to responsiveness. Wendy, did you have an example that you wanted to apply to this in some way?
Wendy Frase 17:22
Well, yes, we can apply my example here if you'd like to walk me through it. In the first step, look for signs of resistance. Well, one thing I feel I'm a bit resistant to is I have a friend, and when we get into conversations about religion, she has a strong, let's just say, Catholic upbringing. She's a part of a Catholic community, and she often says to me, "We believe," and for some reason I'm a bit resistant to that, because she - I know she's saying, "We believe," I guess her church, her faith, but you can't tell me that everyone in her church, everyone in her faith believes that. So I just really sometimes want to say, "Well, what do you believe?" Or I want to push back on that more, but I could do that from a way of responsiveness, but then I also think, oh boy, am I.. I'm better than, because I recognize that you're being very broad, very general. I don't know, there's resistance there, Bill. So help me out now. I do usually not say anything, because I see it in myself. That's one of my little pet peeves when people do this broad, "we believe." Well, what your institution believes, your faith believes, but what do you believe? So, usually I say nothing. I just listen. So, maybe that's number two, where I just walk away or find a more responsive place, because she's a wonderful person. She's my friend. Ponder, so number three, ponder the situation from a more responsive, and I could get curious, but I kind of know how she is. She is is speaking for the larger faith.
Bill Frase 19:17
When we're in resistance, we perpetuate resistance within ourselves and others, and so I think the story that you're pointing to, you have the opportunity when, when you're able to be in a more responsive mode to engage in that curiosity within yourself to say, well, I really would like to know what you mean, like when you say we, what do you mean, who are the "we," and and then other questions might come from that conversation. Well, how do you know, or are you? Oh, you're speaking for the institution, so you understand that there's a diversity of belief within people, but this is what people are supposed to believe, and so you can engage in a whole conversation.
Wendy Frase 20:01
Yes, I would like to have more of a conversation.
Bill Frase 20:03
Yeah, yeah, because it would be interesting, because I don't, when someone says that, I mean, I'm kind of the master or the king of making assumptions, thinking that I know what people mean when I say things.
Wendy Frase 20:16
Right, the better than box.
Bill Frase 20:18
And I'm wrong pretty much all the time that way, when I do that, and so, yeah, but, but again, you, in being responsive in that particular kind of situation, what you have is you have an opportunity, then, because if, when that person is saying these things, if they are in any way resistant themselves, then that curiosity has the potential to invite them to ask themselves questions to get curious. It's like, well, what do I mean when I say "we"?
Wendy Frase 20:41
Yeah, because we want to do it in a helpful way. It's not attacking, but sometimes this is an example, listeners, you fall back into, well, I have to point out all your faults, and that's not what I want to do. Deep down in my desire to be a human being, we're all human beings in this world, and we do want to be treated with curiosity.
Bill Frase 21:13
Yeah, and as we've talked about multiple times in this series on resistance and responsiveness, that responsiveness in its own way is always an invitation to change, and it can be an invitation to change for someone, maybe, who's in some form of resistance, but it can also be, I mean, I guess when you think about it, any type of closed or limited thinking is inherently a form of resistance, because if it's closed, if it's rigid thinking, then it's resistant to change, which means how can it be responsive? By definition...
Wendy Frase 21:53
Because if you're saying it to control, like this is our community, and we have to control the thoughts and feelings and what we believe, because I could take it as I feel sometimes that's a way that a religious community tries to control people, whereas perhaps other people don't see it that way.
Bill Frase 22:14
Yeah, and I think too, but but the thing is also is that in a responsive mode this could bring forth for someone if, if by "we believe" they are engaging in a form of limited thinking, or this sense that they are strengthening their fact claims through invoking the corporate "we,"
Wendy Frase 22:40
Right,
Bill Frase 22:41
You know, so it's not like I believe this. We believe this. Well, who is we exactly?
Wendy Frase 22:46
No. I know...
Bill Frase 22:48
Is it as rock solid as you say, or you suggest by using we, or is it more true that well, some of us believe this? Okay, that feels more true and real to me. We sounds like, well, gosh, we all believe it. So why aren't you on the bus with us, sort of a thing, but having that conversation in a responsive way could invite someone who may be more rigid in their approach or in their thinking to some extent to kind of be like, well, no, we don't all actually believe that, I wish everyone believed that, but we don't all believe it, and if we did believe it, then things would be so much better, or would they? Well, how would they be better? You know, again, it could be a really interesting conversation, but that's that's what we, in resistance, we don't get to have interesting conversations.
Wendy Frase 23:32
No, and I don't want to have that conversation in resistance either. So I guess I have mastered step one, I have been aware that I am resisted. And then I did step to find a more responsive place. So, sometimes that's even talking with someone else. But then, is this book? Did we learn about gathering allies from this book?
Bill Frase 23:58
Yeah, it's in both books.
Wendy Frase 23:59
And we haven't talked about that yet, but then often that's the case too, is when you step away from that, but you prove your point with other people that are like-minded, that's considered gathering allies. So that's not what we want to do either. That could be another episode, but...
Bill Frase 24:15
Yeah, that's right. The gathering of allies is the idea that when I'm in a resistant mode, when I'm exhibiting one of those flavors of resistance, I find it really helpful to have my resistance reinforced by other people around who agree with it. And again, we're getting back to this idea of the corporate, we well, we think this is stupid,
Wendy Frase 24:36
Yeah,
Bill Frase 24:36
and they think that's brilliant, and I, yeah,
Wendy Frase 24:43
yes, okay, Ben number three, ponder the situation, which I think you and I just did. What are the persons, their challenges? What are they thinking?
Bill Frase 24:53
Yeah, yeah, we don't, right, we don't know exactly, but, but we can, right, we can ponder those things kind of as we have been, and I think this, this final, these final questions on here. What am I feeling I should do for this person or group? What could I do to help? Because I mean, part of my sense of this is when someone talks that way, I mean, I'm, I'm curious, but I am also kind of concerned, because it doesn't, it doesn't feel like it aligns with reality. It's, it feels like it aligns with a particular kind of aspiration, and maybe that aspiration is something that is really wonderful and worthy, or maybe not. It's not my job to figure that out for them, but by being willing to engage in conversation openly about these things, and really with curiosity, then, in our own ways, we are inviting people who are making these kinds of expressions that were just like this. I'm sorry, this is just not making any sense to me. Like, I can't really...is this true? Where that could actually help them to change or adjust their own thinking about things, where maybe they had a more closed or restricted perspective on something, and they could be invited to a broader or more inclusive perspective themselves, but they can't be invited to that if we're in resistance, because if we're just like you're full of crap, right?
Wendy Frase 26:18
And you're just trying to control, and yeah, right, then yeah,
Bill Frase 26:22
So, we're doingthe exact same thing that we think they're doing, but they might, they may not even be doing what we think they're doing,
Wendy Frase 26:27
Right. Right. Right.
Bill Frase 26:28
They may not even be being the way we think they're being, because of our own resistance, because we're deceived, we, we twist it around, you know,
Wendy Frase 26:36
Yeah, but this is just a little mini example, and it's not even a big fight, argument, battle with someone, it's a little example that comes up every day in our lives.
Bill Frase 26:49
Yeah, so that's the Arbinger's take on it. And one of the things that I wanted to put into this episode is just going back to our episode five on practice, that one of the things that is a key component of my own practice anymore, when I see that I'm in resistance, and this is both for the interpersonal resistance I've used this, but also in the intrapersonal resistance, where I'm seeing like I'm feeling like I'm supposed to do something, but I'm really fighting doing that thing, I engage in my practice of communing with the divine essence, that's what I do, because this is, and if you think about the steps I've noticed, I'm in resistance, I see it, I can feel it, something's wrong. Why am I this way? Why is this triggering me this way? This is just, I know it's crazy intellectually, but boy, my feelings are churning. So, find a more responsive place or situation. Well, for me, that is my practice of engaging with the flow of the divine essence, because Source, I know, is always responsive to me. I have always experienced Source as being responsive. I've never experienced source ever being resistant to me in the fullness of my beingness, and when I invite that essence into my being, I have the capability, then, of kind of creating the space, the separation from the insanity, to say, "Whoa, okay, what's going on there? Okay, I'm dealing with something. This is triggering some kind of wound or trauma from when I was younger. I don't even necessarily know what it is, but this thing needs healed." And so, what I can do with source, the beautiful thing about my practice with sources, well, source, and my divine team, and all these friends, they can help me heal this. They can help me let it go in that moment. And so, a lot of times, that practice is very brief for me. I'm surprised sometimes now, whereas in the past it would take me days, weeks, or months to work through a thing, shoot, sometimes years or decades. And now, with my practice, sometimes it's a few minutes, I'm like, oh yeah, I'm cool, that's not even a thing for me anymore. Whatever it was is healed, maybe I have a conscious intellectual awareness of it. Sometimes I don't, you know, and that that kind of distance lets me to step three, ponder the situation anew. Well, yeah, okay, I was, I was dealing with other stuff that this was triggering, and all of that, and so, and then a lot of times, what will come out of that, when I come out of the other side of my resistance, I will have a sense of something, because there's been times when I sent emails that I regretted sending, or I said or did something I regretted saying or doing, and my typical thing that I feel inspired to do sometimes is I will, whatever, whatever mode of communication makes sense, I will apologize. I'll be like, hey, I'm really sorry, I feel like I was just out of line on this thing, and I just want to apologize for that. And this is what a lot of people don't get when it comes to these kinds of apologies, they think that if I apologize for how I'm wrong, that somehow I'm saying the other person is right. No, no, no. I've done this in situations where I am still absolutely convinced that the other person is wrong, but I'm just owning my part of the wrongness. I'm saying I was wrong too, if that makes any sense, so. Because people be like, well, that's letting them off the hook, or you're ignoring blah blah blah, and it's like, no, I'm not saying that the other person's right, I'm not saying that I agree with them, I'm just acknowledging my sense that I was wrong, and I am sorry about that.
Bill Frase 30:15
Yeah, I think as we're heading into the home stretch on this episode, I want to mention that resistance is this interpersonal phenomenon, which Arbinger gets, and they are an awesome resource for that, but also it does have this intrapersonal dimension, meaning that there are things that we are meant to be, to do, to express in our lives that we restrain, hold back, deny, refuse because of our own resistance, and, like I've said before, Steven Pressfield's stuff is really good for that. He takes kind of a warrior's mentality or attitude toward what I'll call intrapersonal resistance, that way, but again, for me, my key practice anymore on working on that is my, my practice of experiencing more of the divine essence, more of the unconditional love of Source to heal that stuff within me that is afraid or in some way resistant in some way, shape or form to expressing these things. I feel like it's helped over the years, but that's another challenge of this episode, is that you know, I would love to tell everyone I figured it out, I don't experience resistance anymore. Well, yeah, I'm not even close. I still experience it, and sometimes it's really hard to tell anymore, even for myself. Well, am I in resistance, or or am I just kind of waiting for a better moment to really engage with this thing? And I'm finding more a key component of that is the curiosity, me kind of saying, well, what's really going on here? Am I really afraid, or am I just like it's not the right time yet? I'm just not feeling it. And so things can get very subtle and tricky at these levels, and we all can just do the best we can, to do our best to feel through it, to have a sense of what's going on here? Again, that that curiosity about ourselves and how we're seeing, how we're feeling, so much awesomeness is not in this world because of intrapersonal resistance, all the things we prevent ourselves from doing or expressing that would actually make the world a better place, but because we're afraid or we have these limiting ideas that moving in these directions challenges our limited thinking in terms of who we think we are, the false temporary identity we've taken on, and so that's part of the reason why I wanted to share this this arc on resistance is that if we want a new and different world, then each of us, in our own ways, has to grow our responsiveness and to shrink our resistance.
Wendy Frase 33:08
And as they say, you can only change one person, and that is yourself. So, it's we are changing, or attempting to change, and to grow how we express ourselves in the world, so we're taking a hard look at our own selves, and we're getting curious on why we feel the way we feel, and how we can be most helpful, and I like what you're saying, in regards to the true, deepest, best way to do that is having that connection with source, so allowing source to change us from within will help us more naturally respond to people and situations in a better way, so we really don't need to understand the ins and outs of Arbinger, but for me it is helpful, because I like you, I'm a thinker, and it's interesting to be aware of this terminology, like you and I have talked about in the past, how helpful it is, because we have words to pinpoint these actual feelings, so that is helpful for myself.
Bill Frase 34:11
Everything has a language associated with it, and if you don't have a language for way of being, what you tend to do in the conditions on the planet, is you focus on doing, and you focus on your own emotions, but when you have language that points at things that are real, that are actually happening within us and between us, then we have the means for increasing our awareness of the things, so that then we can make those changes. So, exactly, yeah, the language of resistance and responsiveness, and the terminology around it, all of that. Again, this is called wake-up call for the soul. We are in our own way attempting to raise our awareness, our consciousness of these things, because as we become aware of these dynamics, we become more empowered to change those things in the directions that we desire, and when we do, then we become the invitation for others to change. We can't invite other people to change if we're resisting them. It just look at the resistance in our lives. It typically provokes other people to resist, which then just means we stay stuck in loops that just run around and round in circles. It's a really unpleasant merry go round, not a merry go round, it's an unhappy-go-round in these circles, chasing our tails and not actually getting anywhere, all the while telling ourselves, oh yeah, we're making progress. He was like, no, we're not making progress here.
Wendy Frase 35:39
I love it. An unhappy-go-round. Well, we don't want to be on that unhappy go round. So, I think that that really sums it up really well, Bill. And thank you for bringing to us all this language of resistance, responsiveness, way of being. And I do look forward to chatting with you in the next episode.
Bill Frase 35:59
I look forward to that as well.
Wendy Frase 36:01
Until next time.
Bill Frase 36:02
Until next time. Thank you so much for listening to Wake-Up Call for the Soul with Bill and Wendy. We look forward to you joining us next time.