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Showing Up Anyway is a podcast about unlearning diet culture, redefining health, and making peace with food, movement, and your body -- without needing to have it all together. Hosted by Coach Adam Wright, an anti diet-culture personal trainer and body-trust educator, each episode dives into the imperfect side of wellness and how to navigate motivation burnout, body image struggles, emotional eating and the pressure to be "healthy". This is your reminder that progress doesn't need to be perfect, and you'll still see progress as long as you show up anyway.
Welcome to Showing Up Anyway,
the podcast for people
who are not perfect.
On this show, we talk
about intuitive eating,
fitness without obsession,
and healing your relationship
with food and your body.
Hi, everyone.
Welcome back.
In the face of everything
that's happening right now,
you showed up.
You're listening to another episode.
I'm so proud of you for that.
You know, I've been conflicted,
thinking about what I wanted
today's topic to be.
On one hand, I want to stay on
theme with the season, you know,
talking about your relationship
with food, hunger, your body.
On the other, I feel
compelled to speak
about recent events happening
in our country, across the world.
I've never really minced words
about my feelings on this stuff.
I'm watching the news, just like
you, scrolling social media,
talking to friends,
and we all probably feel a mix of
tightness in our chest,
you know, a knot in our stomach,
a heaviness in our heart.
And whether that's because
of the ICE raids in LA,
across the country,
the thorough dismantling
of democracy or,
um, you know, the newly reported
bombing of Iran by Israel
and the potential of World War III,
you know, there's just
a lot going on right now.
It feels like it's
all hitting at once
and I think it's really a
normal response to feel anxious,
outraged, helpless
and, for some of us,
you know, deeply unsafe.
And when your community is hurting,
when you or the people
you care about are
under what seems like
a coordinated attack,
when you're watching
systematic violence
unfold on your phone screen daily,
that's going to
show up in how you feel,
and it's going to show up in
how you cope and even how you eat.
So, if you've been stress-eating
or eating for comfort
or you've lost your
appetite altogether,
I just want you to know that
that response is valid,
it makes sense.
You know,
when the world feels unsafe,
when you don't know
what's coming next,
of course you reach for something
that's going to help
keep you grounded.
So, that's where I'm going
to go with today's podcast.
I figure because of the
rapidly evolving news cycle
and for the fact that a lot of
you might come to this podcast
for a break from the news,
maybe I wouldn't touch on
all that stuff directly,
but it provides us a
good opportunity to talk
about something still a little
relevant - emotional eating.
And so I've decided to
call this episode
Emotional Eating In Turbulent Times
because, to be honest,
I think this is something
that everyone struggles
with to some degree.
So, we'll talk
a little about how it starts,
why it happens,
and how we can manage the
overwhelming urge to do so
in a world where
so much is happening.
Now, before we get
too deep into it,
I would love if you took
a moment to send this podcast
to, like, three people,
three people who you know
are struggling today.
It doesn't have to be struggling
with emotional eating,
it could be just struggling
with the news or with coping.
I think that the subjects
that we cover
in this podcast could really help
somebody that you care about,
hopefully in the same way
that they've helped you.
We are certainly growing
in our podcast adolescence,
but that's going
to help us grow even more
and I would really appreciate that.
Now, the first thing
you need to know
is what you think might be
emotional eating also might not be.
Like we talked about
in the last episode,
it's really hard to get
in touch with your hunger
if you're not prioritising
self-care,
because until those needs
are met,
there's really no way to accurately
gauge what's emotional
and what's simply
an unmet human need.
So, are you sleeping enough?
Are you eating enough
nourishing foods?
Are you stimulated creatively,
intellectually, and physically?
Do you feel heard, understood,
and accepted and able to kind
of express your feelings?
Are you setting proper boundaries
with people who drain you?
Are you able to rest
without guilt?
You might think,
"Well, I'm always eating
"because I've been
really sad lately,"
but, in reality, it's because you're
actually burnt out at work, right?
And so you'd want to work on
your work/life balance first.
Once you're sure you're getting
your basic needs met,
then we can maybe look at how
to heal from emotional eating.
Now, you also need to know
that emotional eating
is not just one thing.
It's a spectrum from not
eating at all, because stress
or grief killed your appetite,
to eating past your fullness,
hoping for comfort or relief.
But there's a lot of other
emotions that it covers too,
some are obvious and some
are a little bit more sneaky.
Some are negative emotions
and some are positive emotions.
So, let's talk
about some of them.
I've tried to sort
these feelings into categories
to try and help you out, so
we'll see if this makes sense, okay?
First, you've got your stressful
and anxious feelings
- eating to help calm yourself down,
reaching for food when you're
feeling worried or anxious,
using food to self-soothe
when you're feeling upset
or emotionally overwhelmed.
Number two, you've got your sad
and lonely feelings, okay?
Eating to cope with
mild depression
or if you're feeling upset,
turning to food
when you're feeling unloved
or using it as a friend.
Using it as a form of comfort
when things
are feeling especially
emotionally heavy.
Number three, you've got boredom
and lack of stimulation,
you know, eating just
to pass the time,
using a snack as a distraction,
eating while procrastinating
or delaying something.
Number four would be feelings
like frustration and anger.
So, using food to help
blow off steam,
or maybe to help loosen the reins
if you live a
really perfectionist life.
Number five - they're not
all negative, okay? -
so, feelings of joy,
celebration and reward,
like eating because you're
happy or you're excited,
um, celebrating with food
at different events
or family gatherings,
giving yourself a treat
after accomplishing something.
And I think the last one
would be, you know,
feelings of emptiness
or maybe lack of fulfilment.
So, if you find yourself eating
to fill, like, a spiritual
or emotional hunger or something
that food really can't fill,
but, you know, you still try.
As you can see, there's just
a huge landscape of feelings
that emotional eating
can help you cope with.
So, like we've done
in past episodes,
we're going to take
another assessment
because I really want you to
look a little bit inwards, okay?
And see how these feelings
might affect you.
So, go ahead and grab
your pen and paper,
or you can just make a mental list
if you don't want to do all that,
and we're going to keep
track of the yeses
that might apply to you, okay?
I tend to reach for food
when I'm feeling frustrated,
stressed, or disappointed in myself.
Sometimes I eat to avoid dealing
with what's really going on.
There are times when life
feels out of control.
When problems come up, I have
a hard time making a plan
and sticking to it.
I have a hard time saying no
even when I really want to.
I don't always feel
supported by my family
when I'm going through something.
I don't like to
burden my friends,
so I usually keep
my problems to myself.
It's tough for me to
open up about my feelings.
I can be pretty impulsive,
especially when emotions are high.
I worry a lot about
how people see me.
I feel pressure
to make other people happy,
even at my own expense.
I don't always feel secure
or grounded in my life.
Stressful situations tend
to throw me off balance.
When I'm overwhelmed,
eating feels like the
only thing I can control.
I don't yet fully trust myself
around food.
I often feel hopeless or stuck.
I have a hard time putting
my needs first,
I'm always trying
to please others.
It's hard for me to stop eating
even when I know I'm full.
A lot of the time my life
just feels chaotic
and all over the place.
I tend to eat things I shouldn't
when no-one's watching,
like sneaking candy
or snacks when I'm alone.
All right, how'd that feel?
Now, the more yeses you had,
the more likely you're using
food to cope with your life.
Now, what I don't want you to
come away from this thinking is,
"Oh, my God, I'm such
an emotional eater.
"I'm doing so bad,
I should be ashamed."
Truly - don't feel that way, okay?
This world is hard enough, okay?
You don't need to make it harder
punishing yourself for doing the
best you could with what you knew.
I just want you to be able
to look at something and say,
"These are the areas
that I need to improve on,"
and I'm going to help you do that.
So, what are the tools that we can
use to cope with your feelings
instead of turning to food?
One - by providing yourself
a little extra care, okay?
Yes, the self-care, which we've
talked about a number of times,
but also some further
nurturance, okay?
Nurturance takes self-care
to the next level.
So, I'm talking about reading
a book, playing with your pets,
buying yourself some
flowers, getting a massage,
taking a walk in nature, playing
a board game with friends, okay?
Things that fill your cup.
You're asking yourself,
"What am I craving emotionally?
"Can I meet that craving
in a way
"that doesn't involve food
or that involves food,
"but also something else?"
Second thing is sitting
with your feelings, okay?
This is probably the hardest,
but I think it's often
the most healing, okay?
Um, there's a bit of a process.
So, the next time
that you want to eat
but you're not physically hungry,
I want you to try this.
Set a timer for, let's say,
three to five minutes, okay?
You're going to find a place you can
sit down or lay down that's quiet,
not a lot of distractions.
You can close your eyes
if you want to.
It doesn't need to be
a full meditation, okay?
But I just want you
to put your phone down,
just sit with your feelings
for a little while.
Think about what feelings
or emotional triggers
you might be experiencing,
and then ask yourself,
"What am I feeling right now?
"What do I need?"
Hopefully, that space,
that quiet time will give you
the opportunity to give you
the answers to those questions.
You might figure out
you need more quality time
with your partner,
or you might need
some entertainment,
like a movie or a concert.
Or maybe just that quiet time to
yourself really helped in itself.
And if you can identify that
and cope with that feeling,
address it in another way -
congratulations,
you've successfully avoided
emotional eating that time.
But if at the end of that five
minutes you still want to eat,
that's okay too.
It doesn't mean you're failing
or anything,
the pause itself is progress.
I can almost guarantee
that before now,
you had never tried
that before, right?
That you've gone straight
from feeling to fixing.
But the more that you pause,
the more skilled
you become at identifying
and meeting your needs
without just defaulting to food.
And the final tool is finding
a non-destructive distraction.
Because, let's be honest, I mean,
sometimes you just need
to find something to do and
get your mind off of things,
especially in
a political climate
where there are
so many things happening,
sometimes it's just nice
to turn your brain off.
So, find something that you
enjoy and do that thing, okay?
Maybe it's reading a book,
or playing video games,
or putting some Legos together,
or going to do an outdoor
activity, like pickleball,
or roller skating,
or just going and enjoying
a walk in nature, you know?
Now, sometimes the best offence
is a good defence, okay?
Any sports fans?
So, instead of waiting
for these things to happen
and dealing with them,
we can also do our best to prepare
and prevent them
from happening at all.
If you know that you're
about to enter into a situation
that's very stressful for you,
maybe that's a holiday with family
or a work event or a long trip,
make a plan, okay?
Here's some of my favourite tips.
If you're going to spend time
with family,
book a hotel, if you can,
instead of staying with them, okay?
That way, you have some
built-in boundaries,
if you need to get away, you can.
Bring a journal so you can express
your feelings in a safe way,
especially if there's nobody around
there that you can really talk to.
Bring some food you enjoy.
Maybe some snacks that will help
keep you on track
so you don't go too long
without eating,
or ones that are just
easily accessible
if you're in a house
that maybe doesn't have them.
Take some walking shoes
with you so you can get out
and clear your head,
if you need to.
Or maybe just some
noise-cancelling headphones
so you can tune people out.
And then, lastly, I would say
plan an exit strategy,
fake a business emergency
if you need to just GTFO, okay?
Also, before you go,
you can do some visualisation,
some rehearsal, okay? If you
know that you get the same comments,
you always get asked the same
questions by THAT family member -
maybe it's Mom, Dad, Grandma,
I don't know -
practice your answers.
Rehearse your boundary setting.
You could say "I prefer
we don't touch on that subject.
"Can we talk about something else?"
Or, "It makes me uncomfortable
when you ask me that.
"Why don't we talk about what's
going on with you?" That way,
instead of just going to the kitchen
and putting something in our mouth
to avoid uncomfortable
conversations,
we practice putting
boundaries in place
as a form of self-care
and self-preservation.
And I know a lot of you
are uncomfortable
putting boundaries in place,
but I want to tell you something
that my therapist told me.
Boundaries are not there
to keep other people out,
they are put in place
to allow people in
in a way where both parties
feel safe and comfortable.
Let me leave you with
a final reminder
that you don't have to
have it all figured out.
You don't have to respond
to every crisis
with a perfectly mindful
understanding of your hunger cues
or a perfectly balanced meal,
you are allowed to be
a full human being,
hurting, feeling, coping,
and doing your best.
And if your best looks
like some deep breaths
when you're feeling anxious,
if it's just checking in
with your body one time today,
or choosing rest instead of
restriction, that's powerful.
That's progress.
Right now, the world is heavy.
The worry, the rage,
the grief - it's real.
Pay attention to it,
don't tune it out,
but also pay attention to you.
Pay attention to the signals
that your body is sending,
to the places where you're
hungry for more than food,
to the parts of you
asking for care.
This is not about
doing everything right,
it's about staying connected -
to the world, to your people,
and, most importantly, to yourself.
You're already doing something brave
by listening.
Let that be enough for today.
Thank you for tuning in to this
episode of Showing Up Anyway -
you can find it for free on Spotify
or wherever you get your podcasts.
And, wherever you're listening,
if you like the show,
I'd love it if you gave me
a five-star review
because that does help
other people find the show,
and hopefully it will
help change their life,
just like you're looking
to change yours.
If you're listening
on Spotify, though,
you can follow me and tap
the bell icon
so you get notifications
when new episodes come out.
I'm Coach Adam. Remember,
when things get challenging,
keep showing up anyway.