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It's called Luminous Life Force.
It's sacred. It's sexual. It's healing.
You’re here to be luminous. … To remember your magic.
We have the capacity to rise into our highest consciousness through intense times when we melt into a deeper version of love and acceptance, and follow the rules of nature.
I am the open door that no one can close, and I want to open doors that you never even knew existed. We will connect through meditation, spirituality and use our ancient sexual energy, to heal together.
Join me and let’s cultivate our most luminous life force together. ❤️
River Roaring co-organizes the Sacred Sexuality Austin Empowerment Circle Friday evening events, and facilitates weekend workshops and private muse-and-mentoring programs, all in-person in her temple in the beautiful city of Austin, Texas.
More information can be found here:
riverroaring.com
Hello darling, this is River Roaring, celebrating the Luminous Life Force in us all. Hello, darling. I'm River Roaring, and this episode is about your luminous life after sexual abuse, if this applies to you. A path to healing and wholeness in your sex love and intimacy. So according to official statistics in United States, at least one in every four adults in The United States has experienced childhood sexual abuse.
Speaker 1:One in every four by official statistics. Personally, I believe that it's higher than that, that the official statistics didn't catch all of the sexual abuse. So just feel that for a moment. Like, if you're in the grocery store and there are 50 people in the grocery store, that's a lot of adults around you who have lived through childhood sexual abuse. Imagine being in a stadium and imagine how many thousands of people there have lived through childhood sexual abuse.
Speaker 1:What I'm saying is it's not uncommon in our culture. It's sadly not that abnormal right now in our culture when you look at what's happening. It's not healthy. It's not human nature, but I want you to hear this loud and clear if you've experienced childhood sexual abuse. You are not broken, my love.
Speaker 1:You are not broken. The culture around us is broken, and there's a path forward for you. So because so many people First of all, I am River Roaring, and I have been working with people who've been through childhood sexual abuse now for about fifteen years professionally. My website is riverroaring.com if you want to check out what I do there. Experience I bring to this work.
Speaker 1:And when I work with people, because it is so common to have childhood sexual abuse in our culture, I assume right off the bat that everyone I work with has been abused in the past sexually in some way. And honestly, our entire culture is sexually abusive, honestly. So today I'm speaking especially to those of you who have had very physical, very real childhood sexual abuse experiences in your life. And I want to also acknowledge that by growing up in this culture in The United States, it is abusive. So there are things that are happening like genital mutilation for little boys still, commonly, and how men cannot move their bodies freely ever in this world, and how women are shamed, raped, violated, catcalled, gawked at, and how we all tend to shame and guilt each other about sexuality.
Speaker 1:It turns into just this abusive soup that we're in. Today, I'm talking to all of us. If you're listening and you feel like, yes, there's something about our culture that has skewed my beautiful natural sexuality, and I don't feel as in touch with it as I think I could be, then this podcast is for you. So childhood sexual abuse is extremely potent because we're in those formative years and it creates a future for this child who's learning what the world is like and then has this happen where, especially where an adult, especially an adult they trust, but anybody, but, you know, the deeper you go into, this is the adult I trust and love the most, and now there's sexual activity there that doesn't make sense to me, those experiences create a lot of confusion until they're healed in arousal. The arousal process starts to feel really confusing like, Is this right or wrong?
Speaker 1:I feel desire, feel pleasure, but yet I feel the wrongness of it at the same time. This kind of experience in our youth creates a lot of confusion in love altogether. What does it mean to love? I loved this person. I love them very much, and these other things are happening.
Speaker 1:What is love? What is love? What does it mean if this is what love is for me right now with this person? It creates a lot of confusion in the intimacy process like, What does it mean to be close to someone? Does that mean they're going to hurt me?
Speaker 1:Or does that mean they're going to do confusing things that I don't understand? All of these confusions are natural. You know, it's been the wires have been crossed on what love means, what intimacy means, what safety and healthy arousal looks like that is fully empowered. Those wires are a little bit meshed up together and so when this happens in childhood, the natural healthy adaptation to that for the child is close down the heart and the arousal mechanisms with some protectors. That protectors rise up and get installed.
Speaker 1:That's actually a very healthy process for the child because it's very positive for them because it's protection in the childhood environment. So a lot of people will either stop feeling and go numb because it's not safe to feel things anymore or stop feeling and go numb but act out a lot and do a lot of things sexually but a lot of times that's numb or disassociated or confused as it's happening. And what I want to share right now is that all these heart protectors and all these armors that go up to protect the child are positive for the child. They're very healthy. They're very natural because they kept you safe.
Speaker 1:So we always want to give thanks to these protectors that have now created a shield against some arousal, love, and intimacy. I'm speaking today because I want you to know there is a path forward to full liberation and empowerment of your own sexual energy and your own sexuality a full path forward because just as traumatic experiences are fractal, meaning when I have a traumatic experience happen to me, it's too overwhelming emotionally for me to handle in that moment. I'm just a child. So it lodges in my body as a shield and protector and a contracted area. And then that lasts out into time.
Speaker 1:You know? Like, this thing happened one time or one time period, even if it lasted years, it was all happening in this time period. And now I'm out of that time period, but I'm still experiencing the effects of these traumatic experiences and they last right in time. They go with us. They remain with us in the eternal now of our life until we heal them.
Speaker 1:And the good news is healing these wounds is also fractal, that once you do the work of healing, the tender work of healing these very precious fragile wounds, the healing that you do also carries forward completely into your future. So just as the traumatic experiences last and last until they're healed in your body in time, when you do the work to heal, your healing lasts forward in time. So that is the beauty of this path forward is that it's all unwindable. In fact, perhaps your path on earth is to find your way through these past traumas into full healing. There is a path forward into healing.
Speaker 1:So as I said, I've been working with people who've experienced childhood sexual abuse for fifteen years full time for almost all of that. It's a very tender process, very gentle, and a very beautiful process. What could be more beautiful than the awakening, the rising up, the sun rising, the dawn when the sun rises, the springtime when it's time for life to flourish again? What could be more beautiful than a human being healing these types of wounds? And what I believe is what is broken in relationship must be healed in relationship.
Speaker 1:So it is possible to do a lot of the healing on your own with your body and your being. It's very possible. And then when you interface with another person, there's gonna be a whole another level of healing there to do, probably. So I believe what's broken in relationship must be healed in relationship, and that's why in my work, I always offer genuine relationship with me, so we're in relationship and there we can actually see what is working well and what wants a little bit more healing. Some of the ways that I work with healing is I work with the body, primarily, I'll say.
Speaker 1:So a lot of therapies are very good and positive that help you talk through the past, like talk therapy and reading books and listening to podcasts and that engages your mind and that's important because there will be probably some limiting beliefs to reshape and work with and some belief systems. However, for me, I believe in my experience that just talking about childhood sexual abuse isn't the full package for healing. Healing. I've become a specialist in retraining your body itself. We focus on the body, on your body, because your body is what's holding those traumas.
Speaker 1:For me, I find it's most efficient and direct process for healing when we heal the body. Your body will be retraining to the new adult reality that you're living in right now because when I work with people to retrain, they're always it's almost always after, in this case where I'm talking about childhood sexual abuse, it's over. Now we're in another reality where it's not happening physically in the material world right now anymore. So it takes a retraining of the body to live in a healthy way in this new world where it's not happening anymore. So we can start to gently, tenderly, carefully let down those protectors and let in love again that's pure, healthy, and empowering.
Speaker 1:So it's a retraining of the body. It's also a remembering. Your body is remembering what it felt like to be free and a free liberated human before those things happened, you're remembering. And even if those things started happening as an infant, soul remembers what it's like to be free and liberated from those things. So we're going through a process of remembering, re membering, we're putting the members of your body back together.
Speaker 1:It's a process of retuning your body. It's retuning your instrument to health and vibrancy. It's a process of refining your body so that it serves you as an adult now in your adult life where that abuse is not happening today. Now it's time to refine the body process to step in to the now and be healthy. And the most exciting part is when we get to the reigniting your body.
Speaker 1:That's not the first thing that usually happens in this process, but reigniting your body is probably the most exciting part because that's when your body is ready to feel the joy and beauty of sexual arousal without the resistances or interferences or challenges from the past. It's a very beautiful process. In fact, what we're doing, one of the things like one of the things I to talk about is how we're all here as a society, as humanity, to balance our feminine and masculine sexual energies inside of ourselves. And when we, when each one of us comes to the internal balance of feminine and masculine sexual energy, the entire humanity will be balanced. So the work is for each one of us to do inside ourselves and when I say balance feminine and masculine, we also have some cleanup to do in our culture so that we're not balancing toxic masculine but rather healthy masculine.
Speaker 1:So our current world reflects a toxic masculine imbalance. To bring this into balance two things are going to happen: one) the feminine energy will rise and number two, the masculine energy will clean to become healthy masculine. The feminine rises, the masculine heals within each of us. So we live in a world that's in the illusion of dualities, feminine, masculine, and there's also in sexuality, there's giving and receiving. There's giving the gift of the experience and receiving the gift of the experience, right?
Speaker 1:So in a sexual situation, I might be in a position where I'm doing things for you. And if you have a past of childhood sexual abuse, that sentence I just said may be very triggering just hearing that sentence doing things for you sexually. And the healing process will start to restore the giving to a healthy giving so that the what you might say the feminine side doesn't have to be seen this way, the if the giving of the gift of the experience is the feminine side in our culture, we're not taught healthy giving, so we retrain your body to healthy giving, meaning I am going to give a gift to you sexually only when I am fully open hearted in the giving and only when my body is in complete agreement that I want to give, that I'm willing to give to you. So that's the cleaning that we can do where the one side of us rises up. I give, but I learn and train myself that I never for the rest of my life, I'll never again give against my will.
Speaker 1:Never. I will never again endure or tolerate while I'm giving. I will never again give the gift of any experience, sexually or otherwise, unless my whole body is a yes to giving this way and I'm open hearted and there's a retraining for that. There's a process that we use to retrain the body and being so that I no longer ever give again unless I'm in a full whole body agreement and open hearted in the giving. It's a beautiful place to be and I'm not saying it's easy, but it is a simple place we're getting to and it takes practice and retraining the body.
Speaker 1:It's not enough to understand what I just said. It's another level when my body says no anytime that it's not in full agreement and I'm not open hearted when someone wants to receive a gift from me. So when I'm not open hearted and my body is not in agreement, no. I'm a no to that. And in this learning and retraining how to give only when open hearted and body in full agreement is is really stepping into sovereignty with giving and it's clean giving and it's healthy and we can learn it.
Speaker 1:And what about the other side when I am in a sexual situation and it's time to receive a gift for myself. Like, Oh, it's time for me to let my desire lead the way and have an experience sexually that is tailored to my desire and will do what I want to do. That also is a very tender and beautiful journey for someone who has been been through childhood sexual abuse because we are not taught to receive gifts for ourselves only with full consent because there wasn't full genuine consent early on because children are not fully informed by life. The way that we have experienced people getting gifts for themselves is they're grabbing it and they're just stealing it and they're thieves and they're raping and those are not clean receiving. And so when I say healthy masculine, in one way of looking at it, the toxic masculine is just grabbing things without asking.
Speaker 1:But we can retrain the body, remember that we receive gifts for ourselves after it's asked for and given with an open heart. And so again, what I just said sounds nice and simple and you may understand it in your mind, but retraining retraining the body into these healthy masculines and feminine balances are it's a very beautiful journey and you will have a lot of ups and downs and a really fun mountain to climb if you decide to go on this journey. And what does this journey even look like? Like, what is my body even remembering? Where does this journey even begin to heal childhood sexual abuse?
Speaker 1:Well, one very important beginning spot is safety in the body, and I define safety as a relaxed nervous system. Now that also is easy to say, and I haven't seen it be that easy to do, but it's a trainable skill. Think about this energy can only flow where there's space. Energy only flows where there's space, so my body when it's tight and constricted, nothing can flow there. It's too tight, too constricted, unsafe.
Speaker 1:But if I can train myself to come to safety within my own body, meaning a relaxed nervous system, I create space in my body so that fresh energy can flow and the healing energies can flow. This always involves slowing down quite a bit. It's a process of training to relax the body and also rest the logical thinking mind that tends to worry and bring anxiety and ruminate and spreadsheet things out eternally. Pros and cons forever, which really become not helpful after a while. So this process of me finding safety in my own body through learning how to relax my own nervous system does a couple things.
Speaker 1:Number one, it gives me a place to start the healing because now energy can flow. There's space in my body for new energy to flow. Now my safety is mine to decide, mine to bring in for myself, and through this process of learning to create safety in my own body, it creates a place where I can trust. Not trust other people, trust myself, which is a really big key to this process. I'm not learning how to trust other people because who knows what they're doing.
Speaker 1:I'm not counting on the rest of the world doing things right. I'm not learning to trust others. I'm learning to trust myself in any situation once I retrain my body to know how to come to safety inside my own body. So in our culture, as I mentioned, we no longer have rites of passage that are built into our culture so that they formally train us how to move from childhood to adulthood the way some cultures in the past had. We don't have that.
Speaker 1:We don't have, like, adulthood training. And now that you're trained as an adult, go through this awesome rite of passage, and now we honor you as an adult. We don't do that. We have little things like high school and college, but there's no training in there to be an adult. In the modern world, our entire lives are the rite of passage.
Speaker 1:In the modern day, our entire life is a mystery school for learning and growing. So we have to put together our own curriculum or our own program. We get to find our own teachers and healers and helpers. And the good news is that in this day we have a lot of help out there for the kinds of things that could heal and retrain retrain a body that's been through childhood sexual abuse. For instance, functional breathing teachers are now out there everywhere.
Speaker 1:And when I say functional breathing, I am not talking about, what's it called, holotropic breathing. So I am not talking about the activated breathing where you over activate and over oxygenate your system. I'm not saying that wouldn't work, couldn't work, but what I'm actually referring to right now is functional breathing trainers, which means they're showing you how to operate your body in the normal everyday world through your breath that brings an incredible amount of more health to your body because most people in The United States are not breathing healthily. Believe it or not, it's so crazy. It seems like breathing is natural and automatic, but in our culture, it has become really messed up.
Speaker 1:So functional breathing teachers are wonderful to help check-in with you. They can assess you really quickly and see if your breathing is healthy. Healthy. Because my breathing is one of the most important moderators of my nervous system, which brings me to relaxation. So breathing is a very fundamental part.
Speaker 1:Another way to find healing in this area is sound baths. Sound healing is becoming so much more sophisticated, so we can use sounds and frequencies to help heal my body back to relaxation. I can also seek out like restorative yoga asana. So on this I'm not talking about the super activated yoga where you're pretzeling your body into a million positions and standing on your tippy toe on one foot. Not the acrobatics, I'm talking about restorative yoga asana.
Speaker 1:And when I've done restorative yoga, we're on the floor on the mat, we're using cushions and bolsters, and we are putting our body into a position, a pose, and we're holding that pose for two or three minutes as we deepen that stretch and that opening. So restorative yoga asana is highly recommended. And what else is there? Of course, my weekend workshops. That is what my entire weekend workshop is designed to do, so when you're ready, maybe you've worked on your breathing, you've done some sound baths, you've stretched your body out, and everyone's welcome to my weekend workshop.
Speaker 1:Everyone's welcome. So wherever you are, when you're ready to heal what was broken in relationship, step in to my beautiful temple in Downtown Austin for a small group weekend workshop. Our next one is July '26, and I may only have one more this year after that. So July '6 in Austin, Texas. Check my website.
Speaker 1:In the weekend workshop, we in person retrain your body gently, lovingly, through a very well tested and proven out process of training and remembering. And it's a very tender, spacious time to really reunite with yourself and your soul and very gently retrain your body. The weekend workshop is for everybody. If you've experienced childhood sexual abuse and you feel ready to come, I'm available for a certain limited number of free phone calls before the workshop as well, to my website and click on Let's Connect and Let's Talk River because if you want to talk on the phone first about the workshop, I'm available to that. I have a certain number of spots available for that.
Speaker 1:And you're also welcome to the weekend workshop if you have not experienced childhood sexual abuse because as I said, the whole culture is pretty backwards and I can promise you if you come in and invest in yourself for one weekend, make it your summer vacation, make it the most memorable and deep summer vacation of your life. If you come and invest in yourself for one weekend here, I promise you, you will walk away with some incredible things you've never heard of before and no one else is training us into, and with some practical experience if you want to. All the practices are optional because I want you to listen to your body of whether it's safe to do them or not. You don't have to do any practices, but I promise you, you will walk away with a fresh perspective. And yes, I have watched many people who have had these kinds of serious violations, who successfully heal and rise to empowerment and inner liberation.
Speaker 1:My love, I'm not saying it's easy. I haven't met any human being who's actually had an easy ride here on earth if you look under the hood at what's really going on under there. It's not easy here, but that's what makes this experience on earth so transformative because you have an opportunity to actually heal through some of the most important things humanity is going through right now, which means you could step out of that healing process and become a leader. Your gifts could flow at a higher level to help other people your journey was so difficult. Whereas, if your journey was nice and easy, you wouldn't have any way to help others.
Speaker 1:So what will your own hero's journey look like? Do you have a desire to walk through these magical gates to your own inner liberation? Your healing journey might in the future be a beacon of light for others precisely because of your unique experiences you had. Because it's love that continues continues life. It's love that propels us forward.
Speaker 1:So if your heart is ready to open to higher, more liberated levels of love, then your very special and unique gifts that were, believe it or not, forged in those difficult moments can flow forward, and you yourself could change the universe for everybody as you change yourself inside. You have specific experiences in your past that if you work and heal them can help others in a way that nobody else can help them. So my darling, are you down? Are you down for the ride? I'd love to hear your comments about this podcast.
Speaker 1:The best way to get to me is to hop on my website riverroaring.com and click on Let's Connect Let's Chat River and fill out that form and send me the email. It's an application for a free call, but if you don't want to have a free call, can say, I don't want to have a free call. I just want to say these things to you. I want to ask you these questions. Just use that form for your own way that you want to use it, and I will get your email and I will respond to you, and I would love to hear from you.
Speaker 1:I would love to hear from you, and if you are interested, that form will help us set up a free phone call, which I'm offering you right now, right here. I have a limited space for them, and grab one, and let's talk a little deeper about this stuff. Why, my darling? Because I help bridge worlds. I'm on earth to bring the maximum love and light into their lives, liberating self expression in all of the realms where all is sacred, connecting with you to create a cosmic web of love and light throughout the realms, throughout the timelines, throughout the space.
Speaker 1:Just because you're hearing me right now, we have a connection of light between the two of us in our different time zones we're speaking and hearing from. Time is not an issue. Because my love together we can step in to a more harmonious vibration. Together we can fly higher shifting human consciousness forever for the highest good of all beings and so my love may the love be with you and may the love be with us all.