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What is The Salty Professor?
Follow Virgil Henry as he shares tales from his 30 years of experience as a professor in America's higher education system. Listen as he comments on the good, bad, and ugly aspects of doing time in the "Ivory Tower."The Salty Professor aims at the state of Higher Education and fires away with abandon. All the tea shall be spilled.
July 9th 2024
My eyes are up here
There has been a lot of talk recently at my university about adding a dress code. Keep in mind I work at a university, for adults, not a prep-school on the CW network. Still, apparently, the president, who always wears an ill-fitting suit, wishes we all took after him and “dressed the part.” I don’t know what part it is, but if it means swamp ass and pit stains in early September or late April when the buildings start to cook and the AC doesn’t work, then I guess I don’t want to look that part at all.
I’ve worked at this particular school for 12 years now and at no point have I ever seen any of my colleagues wear anything that was untoward. There was one guy who wore nothing but sweat pants and a sweatshirt for about a year, but that said more about his state of mind than his fashion sense. After he ended his toxic relationship, he started wearing jeans and button-down shirts again. In retrospect, it was a call for help. Sorry man. I thought you wanted to be with that person. Glad you didn’t though. She is awful.
Even if we were paid enough that we could all afford brand new suits and fancy pants, which we are not, none of it matters. We were not hired because of how we looked, we were hired because of what is in your heads AND most importantly, how well we help our students get that information in their heads. It doesn’t matter how we dress.
What matters is our creativity, our ingenuity, our mastery of the material, our ability to make something boring fun or to make something challenging, if not easy, easy enough to understand. What we say matters. What we do matters. What we look like, simply does not. Our clothes can, and should represent who we are. I’m a jeans and t-shirt guy. There are likely suit and tie people and tie-dyed dress people and wearing what makes us comfortable, affords us a level of comfort that passes on to the students. You know, the people who matter here.
Honestly, for the most part, we don’t pay any attention to what anyone at work with is wearing. I mean, the year of sweat pants thing was noticeable because it was different. If he showed up on day one dressed that way, we wouldn't have cared. Unless someone shows up dressed like a furry, no one should really pay it any mind. Although, that would be fucking amazing if someone started to teach dressed as a racoon. That would make people come to class, on time, and excited to learn about physics.
Really, though, and let’s be honest, this isn’t about men. It all comes down to the fact that the president is uncomfortable with the bodies of the women on campus. He didn’t care about sweatpants McGee nor would he care if I showed up in parachute pants and did a whole dance routine a ’la M.C. Hammer. This is not about the way we all look. It is about the way women look. It is my contention that his old white man conservative repression stresses him out when a woman shows some ankle, so a bra strap makes him have a fit. He says he doesn’t think “jeans are professional” but what he means is, “I can see a bit of your bare lower back above the waist of your jeans and that make want to leer.”
Dude. Get over yourself. You are not a hormonal 12-year-old. The Mike Pencification of women’s bodies has to stop. If you seriously can’t handle seeing an armpit, then maybe you shouldn't be in charge of higher education. People are not dressed a certain way for you. It isn't about you.
You don't seem to have any problem with the women on the volleyball team wearing skintight pants that are affectionately known as bun huggers. If you want to worry about a dress code maybe fix that one. Maybe get them in regular shorts and have them wear their underwear underneath their uniform.
Could it be you don't care about that because you actually love seeing those women's bodies are on display? Could it be that you don't see them as scholars and athletes but you see them as entertainment? The difference between them and the woman in the Math department with thigh high boots and a short skirt is that you can't openly ogle her without being called a creep but you can stare for hours at the women jumping up and down in tight shirts and pants.
Seriously. Ug. Grow up dude. Grow the fuck up.