A month off

What is Ollie Horn's Podcast?

This is my diary, but instead of writing it down and keeping it private I obnoxiously record it while on the road and let you listen.

00:00 - Ollie Horn (Host)
So the context for this is I am no longer on the chair that was broken sun lounger that was broken in the previous episode. We are but minutes after the conclusion of the recording of that episode and I'm straight onto this one because we're not strike while the iron's hot and there's still, quite literally, batteries in the recorder and still got a bit of energy. The context is well, I'm not actually sure what time it is now, I didn't bring my phone or watch out with me, but it's at least half an hour after I started the last recording and that was well after 10pm, so we're probably approaching midnight and I need to be up at about 8 o'clock tomorrow morning. Why? Because I will be doing my Muay Thai practice.

00:46
I decided on an absolute whim it was a decision that I made at about 3 o'clock in the morning, probably at some point during April this year, long time ago absolute rush decision that I was going to take a month off and do something that I've never done before. I do not take time off. I mean, I haven't taken time off. The reality is, the whole point was this is a month where I'm doing absolutely fuck. All. I've not done that, apart from being sick. Being sick does take up quite a bit of time, but I've been on my laptop a lot doing various bits. It's incredible actually just how much work, how busy work there is as a stand up Just like getting my diary booked for April, may, june next year. I was just taken forever.

01:47
There's loads of back and forth and some of it is a bit of ass licking of clubs that I've not played before. I'd love to play your club. Thankfully, I'm now starting. This is something that I was chatting to another actor about not so long ago, because he has kind of started to break through playing some of the pro clubs, like I think he's starting to do middle spots at some of the weekend clubs, and he said it's hard work, isn't it? Yeah, it's a really long slog, but something does happen when you stay in the game long enough and I'm certainly not being in the game that long, but long enough to reap this benefit that you put out good work and you do enough gigs and you put enough stuff out online and people do start approaching you. So, off the Curb, which is a promoter that I've wanted to work for for a while, one of their booking agents cold emailed me to say hey, I saw one of your clips online. Can we book you for some of our gigs? And you know, I think I've had a couple more of that kind of thing happen lately, so it does get a lot easier actually.

02:59
I mean, that's like that is kind of a zero to one in terms of when you get clubs approaching you and asking you for work, the whole dynamic is different. It's like in Perth, australia, like I've never really played the big weekend clubs in Australia, like I've not done the Sydney Comedy Store I think it's the lounge in Melbourne. I've not done the main clubs in Perth and I think, although I'd been to Australia a couple of times to the festivals, I'd not. Yeah, I think, I do think I might have speculatively emailed the comedy store a couple of years back and then obviously heard nothing from them. But then I meet one of the bookers at the fringe and he comes to see a show and then straight away we're talking about wouldn't it be great to get you over to Sydney? So sometimes it is just, unfortunately, it is just about waiting, and I think that's probably a lesson that's applicable far more widely than comedy.

04:07
Yes, there's so much to be said for faking it until you're making it and hustling your way through, but it's probably. It's not a nice thing to think, but it's probably true that the market is probably functioning fairly well and while it's easy to suggest that you might be overlooked for certain opportunities and there are people who are worse than you that are getting other opportunities, you're only seeing those outliers. If there's somebody that you think you're better than and you've just seen what they've got, that well, you're noticing that because that's just stuck out, you know that might be an outlier for them, just as it might well be an outlier for you, and so that's something which I've kind of started to internalise that you know my time will come. As long as you kind of stay in the game and you're doing the right thing, obviously there's nothing wrong with sending that speculative, hopefully email, and sometimes there is that kind of you know, like Stephen who I work with, he did say why haven't you just emailed the SOHO theatre? If you want to play them, just email them.

05:14
And part of me totally agrees with that and I think he's right. He's like what were you waiting for? Just email the people you know, get what you want, and I do think that's true, right, but that can't be true for everything like your policy can't be. I'll just take a chance on stuff. You know, the policy should be the exceptional stuff, the stuff that you think you're uniquely qualified for, the stuff that you're especially excited about. That's the stuff where you, you know, roll at your sleeves and write a cheeky email or call in a favour with a friend to get that warm introduction.

05:45
But your policy can't be get lucky all the time. You know the policy can't be work above my pay grade consistently. So, yeah, I do think this approach of just doing the reps doing the good work, having a reputation of someone that's reliable and knowing that there are people who are incentivised to seek you out once you're operating at that level and you know this is not to say don't sing your own praises you've got to be boasting about what you're doing, at least the extent to which putting your work out there is boasting, which I think is the right way of doing it, right? You know, you show, you don't tell, rather than saying I'm a headliner now, well, you put out clips that show that you're headlining brilliantly, right? So definitely, you should be boasting about what you do, and that boasting should take the form of showing your work and showing you know, or pictures of sold out shows that you've done, because you can sell tickets, because people like you blah, blah, blah, blah, blah blah. But you know, the policy can't be take the piss every time. The policy can't be shoot my shot and hope that it all works out. The policy has to be kind of trust the system and if you don't like the system, they don't try and operate within it at all. You know, if you don't think that the bookers of comedy clubs know their shit, well then don't approach them in the first place. So that's what was I talking about.

07:19
Yes, I've been filling my diary and it's a bit easier. It's a bit easier because things like filling your diary compound, because you can go back to the same club that you've been to before. I can email a booker that booked me this time last year and say, hey, do you want me back? And the answer is usually yes, or you build up a reputation good enough with you know you can say have been doing work for these guys, would you like to have me as well? So anyways, that still takes a lot of time and been planning a bunch of stuff for the Australian festivals. So heading off to Perth, oh yes, that's another thing.

07:56
So I got a warm intro for another comedian for the kind of the main comedy club in Perth, and he just linked. He linked to two clips that I published in the last year, gave him kind of a one line you know, this guy's worth booking. And then from that I got an email with you know, here at eight different dates, would you like the more kind of thing. And it was a nice little moment of pride to think, well, I'm glad that my friend had that recommendation and he did so, because he does believe that I'm good at comedy and you know he wouldn't put his reputation on the line for nobody. But also, he's only able to send that email because of the work I've done in the last year. He linked to the special that I self released on YouTube. He linked to an Instagram clip that did numbers at Top Secret and both of those things are through me having kind of put the effort in and made those things. And so it's nice to think, well, he couldn't have introduced me two years ago. Well, if I'd asked him to, he probably would have done, but it wouldn't be the same quality of introduction, because he wouldn't have been able to link to my work. That shows that I can do it. So that was a really nice thing to see.

08:58
You know again, the system works and I just need to continue to produce good stuff and put it out there. And it's hard, it's really hard to put videos out there without feeling like you're totally shit. But, um, that's the game, so, anyway, so it's just a whole bunch of admin, so I haven't taken any time off. I have been working um, planning scheming stuff for RGB, monster stuff for myself, um, and then they kind of use your life admin as well. Tax needs to be sorted. I've got a couple of bits and it's just that stuff isn't it?

09:40
Um, but my plan was to come and take a month out, so at least I'm at least out, you know, at least I'm off grid. I'm off grid, so to speak. I'm not, um, yeah, we're not. We're certainly not in the UK, and I'm not um in a place for a couple of weeks. I'm not at a festival, I'm in the middle of nowhere.

09:56
Um, with a month with nothing else on. I kind of made a point of not booking gigs or not booking any of any other commitments during this time and um. But I knew I couldn't do, I knew I couldn't just sit on my ass for a month. That wouldn't work. Or at least, to be more specific, I've never gone somewhere without a purpose, like I've never actually had a holiday whenever I've got a brawl, you know I've just I love travel, I love traveling and meeting people and doing stuff.

10:28
And going to a town for the purpose of a stand-up comedy gig is a great, it's a great way of of seeing a city. That's a great justification for being there. Um, and when you turn up, there's always like a bit of an entourage. You know, even if you're not a big deal in comedy, there's still. The booker of the club will normally meet you at the airport or at least will have sorted you out with a place to stay, or at least, if not, you know that there's a whole bunch of comics that will be glad to go for a drink with you. There's always just people there. And you know, basically wherever you go in the world, there's a um little community of comics that are hopefully pleased to see you.

11:04
Um, and so you know I didn't. I know I didn't want to go somewhere and I also didn't want to go to like a new city for comedy. You know what I thought might be. One thing I did consider is oh, what if I do Berlin for a month? You know, just hit all the open mics and, you know, ingratiate myself. But I thought, what's the what? Actually, what is the point? Maybe, if I really need to work on a new show you know, if I've got an idea that I'm like I just need to put the reps in, actually it's still, it's still quite a good idea, maybe I will do that. Um, if I'm uh feeling the pressure for my next show, I might go to a city where, um, I can get an absolute abundance of kind of open mic stage time in a fairly low pressure, um, you know, environment.

11:50
Anyway, I knew, I knew that's not what I wanted to do, didn't want to stay in the UK, I didn't want to do the Christmas gigs. I've just finished recording the three-speech podcast with Darius and Justin and they've both been sharing their Christmas, their Christmas gig stories and every year, every year, comics just it's like going, they're just like they're going to war, like they. They just know they're preparing for an absolute fuck up and no one, no comic has ever had a Christmas season. I'm sorry, no proper comic. You know, no comic that does it for a living, that has to take the work, has had a a Christmas season that they're they're proud of. It's people who don't normally go out drinking that much or don't normally go to comedy, or it's people with their work colleagues. It's just lots of or venues that don't normally put on comedy. It's pretty bad. Um, so I knew I didn't want to do that. Um, so I picked I didn't really pick it, it's just I saw a thing and I thought I'll just go for it.

12:46
So I picked Thailand because, um, I liked Thailand. I've been here a couple times before. It is a beautiful country and, uh, it's a it's a cliche, but the people here are really really lovely. Um, big fan of Thai people. Uh, and that sounds really disingenuous. Thai people, yeah, yeah, big fan, yeah, yeah, big fan, big up, big up, big up. The ties, um, no, but I mean absolutely. Um, you know, it's it like I actually don't have, I don't think I know anyone from Thailand in the UK. Really, like I was suddenly there when I've ever got really close to uh, uh, but yeah, thai people in the UK, uh, they're obviously there are loads of them, right, uh, but I've never made friends with anyone. Um, thai people in Thailand, particularly the ones that speak English, always been so friendly, so nice, um, so that has been so. That was a reason why Thailand is a good option.

13:46
Uh, also, it needed to be somewhere in Asia to kind of justify going halfway before the Australian festivals and, uh, yeah. So I knew I wanted to do something that would just occupy me every day, some, some reason to be here, um, and I thought about cooking. I thought I could learn. You know, I maybe thought I could do a month of like learning how to be pastry chef in Paris or something, but in the end I felt and this is something I've discussed with my therapist that I've never cared that much about my health. Surprise, or at least you know, I've always been overweight and it's sometimes bothered me, but you know, as I talk about in my show before or after, I kind of have made peace with the fact that I'm fat and I can do stuff when I'm fat. As long as people still find me attractive, that's fine. But I have had a fairly stressful year and I definitely have had health as a very low priority.

14:42
One of the things my therapist said is she said your body is your business and not in like a. It's your business and no one else is. It's more like you're using your body professionally, right, like I'm standing on stage and I'm showing it to people and I'm, you know, having my photograph taken and I'm using my physicality and it's like that's a good point. You know, this is there's a business case for not completely fucking this amount of bones, flesh, skin and fat and so, yeah, something fitness was the answer. And so I thought Mu Tai, why? Because I knew nothing about it, like literally nothing, and I actually made a point of not researching it because I knew that if I researched it and got down a YouTube rabbit hole, I would put myself off because I'd see people that take it really seriously, like I think it's true for stand up right, like if you overthink doing your first open mic, you just won't do it. It would just be like I'd love to do that, or you'll like start, you know you'll, you'll be doing everything. That isn't the thing.

15:45
Jimmy Carl was on a podcast talking about this that, like you know, you got to do the thing right, like if, if your plan is to do stand up. You got to go and do stand up. You can't like buy loads of notebooks and turn up to open mics and fraternize with comics and, you know, take selfies with famous people. It's like go write jokes, right, go and do stand up. Go and write jokes and perform them loads, rather than creating a social media account which has the word comedian in it and claiming that you're going on tour because you've done an open mic abroad. You know, it's like, just do the thing. And I've got to make sure that I do the same with this thing, right, like I'm not didn't tell anyone, really, that I was going out to do this.

16:22
I didn't buy a bunch of boxing gear, right, I didn't start following boxing influences. I just found a thing where, like you can, you can stay literally next to an international boxing stadium and just turn up and train with them and it's very chill. You know, it's like the. The booking system for these classes is you just rock up and however many people are there, they just like what's up around local trainers? They just turn up on moped's 15 minutes later to meet demand. Right, that's, that's how they deal with elasticity. Very, very nice.

16:55
And there's one trainer which I've been getting on with very well and he's got a good sense of humor and very poor English. But what he lacks in English he makes up for in personality and obviously I've got basically no tie at all. I'm really trying to learn a few words. But what's lovely is he he's a very emotive person, so I could tell when he's annoyed and I could also tell when he's genuinely delighted, and so he's been teaching me a couple of moves and today, like, I really got something like he.

17:32
Basically, when you do two punches in a row, you're not supposed to fold your arms over, you know. So you're punching like left, then right, right, you don't do left, and then, as your left hand's coming back, push your right over. They don't really cross. You turn your left shoulder, punch with your left, completely retreat, and then your right hand kind of comes, comes over, and I can kind of see why, right, because it's way more powerful when you use your shoulder and body, and so the trick is to kind of quickly move your upper body to do those two punches in quick succession. Anyway, I did it today and I could really feel it connecting and he felt it connect and he had a really big beaming smile. It was lovely, he went. Yeah, I just stopped to laugh Because you know he was.

18:25
It was clear that he was genuinely happy that I'd made progress and he said he said something like he said fitness not good, memory, very good, something like that, this idea that, like, I'm learning the technique, even if I can't actually you know, I can't actually do the thing yet. But yeah, no intention to fight, no intention to be a Muay Thai guy, but it gives me a reason to wake up every morning. I have the option to go training at eight o'clock way 30, every morning until 10 30, or have the option of doing a private session for a little bit extra at 10 or 11. I could do it later if I wanted to, but you probably wouldn't want to do in the heat. Or they've got like the pros. They train at four and you can join in with them if you want, but it seems a bit intense.

19:12
I described it to someone as that's, that's, that feels like that's, that's the sixth form is, you know, the ones which are actually like preparing for fights and stuff, not just people over the age of 30 who are worried what to do with themselves. So so I haven't, I haven't joined that one yet, but it's nice because every day I've got that and I think, other than you know, obviously I've had first six days I wasn't doing anything because I was so sick, but since then I have done something related to my fitness every day. But I've not tried to, I've not gone overboard. I'm still like eating whatever I want to, and you know I'm not, you know I'm not doing like extra fitness stuff in between, but even what I'm doing is enough. You know, the the time does kind of fly by and I feel really tired after it, which is good.

20:05
And you know, I think just generally my whole body is kind of aching a bit. You know, I think, certainly the kicks I thought I was fairly flexible in the legs but no, I'm nowhere near flexible and I've really to do these high kicks that I expect you to do. But I've kind of like I've told my body I'm doing this every day and my body is like, as of today I think it's kind of realized okay, well, that's it. Then. You know we better just show up. So when I've done with this recording I will go. Actually I've got a friend, a phone call, so I go call that friend quickly and then I will hit the sack.

20:40
Try and get six to seven hours sleep, wake up 8am, drive my little moped, my cute little moped, down to the laundry, pick up my laundry, because I didn't realize. I mean, I absolute I cannot wear these clothes more than once. Ice, it's not like I sweat through them, they become saturated. I mean, the context is this isn't. I'm not in like an air conditioned gym, I am in. Essentially, it's like you wouldn't even put cattle in this. It's just a shed. It's not even a shed, it's just a roof. It's a tin roof. That's what it is. It's a tin roof with a concrete floor ring on which they put some matting and dangling. From the tin roof, scaffolding is a bunch of bags and in the middle is a big ring and that is it. I actually don't think. I actually don't think they can make it more primitive if they tried.

21:28
No fans, even you know like not, even though in an attempt at making it easy to work out in the sun is scorching, but obviously you're in the shade, which helps. But I'm just drinking a shit ton of water like I will comfortably drink through three liters in the two hour training session. So I mean I you know I would be sweating anyway because of the sun, but I am also like skipping and punching stuff and doing some stuff for partners, which always seems like a bit of a shame. I always feel like I'm letting whoever I'm paired with down because you know they've not signed up to fucking. You know to mean themselves with me.

22:13
But you know, I've just kind of just learned to be unashamed, like when they teach a thing. I'll just say to my partner I'm not going to be able to do this. I just want you to be aware, just to set the expectations absolutely clearly. I will. I'm not going to get this first time around, you go first, kind of thing. But I think generally, if you just kind of have that, you know, for sense of humor and a bit of humility, the trainers see this too. They know that I'm, they know that I'm trying hard.

22:42
Actually, I think you know it's clear that I'm not. I think they can see that I am trying to engage right, like I'm not. What's the word? I don't, I'm not acting as if I'm above it, I'm not demeaning it or belittling it. I all the all, the every time when I'm like I guess the point is that a defense thing I've done in the past, particularly about around things I'm not very good at, is to just undermine it.

23:14
Right, and that's like you know, ex partners have said that that is an issue right, that when, when, when I kind of reach a point where I'm no longer able to engage with something on the terms that have been set by the other person, sincerely, then I will just joke and you know, if I, if I belittle it, then it doesn't matter kind of thing, and I don't think that's a very nice way to live your life. I don't think it's very attractive and I've, you know, I try, obviously as a standard you've got to be somewhat cynical, right, but also you've got to, you know, also going to accept that. You know, things can be important to people and Mute is obviously really important to these people. They've spent their life devoted to it and I am entering their space and like it's just not for me to say, isn't it insane that you're making us run around this ring in this scorching heat? Well, I'm just gonna just do it, you know, I just do it and I think I think at least the trainers can see that I'm sincerely trying my best, but I'm doing so with kind of honesty and humility. So let's see how it goes.

24:34
I've got another week of training and then I'm going to go spend four days in Kuala Lumpur, partially because you only get a one month visa and you can't extend your visa by going to the immigration office. But people have been telling me it's easier just to go to another country and then you come back and you get another month. Some people seem to do that indefinitely. I've heard stories of people, particularly Americans, who seem to get away. We just literally crossing the border on foot. They go and drive a car across the border and come back in. Get another stamp an hour later makes it complete mockery of the system. Maybe it doesn't, maybe that is the system. The point is, you know, we now we've, we've, you know every month they're making them do a thing. I can see where they are.

25:18
I'm just looking at the year. Sun Lounge that's broken. Someone's gonna get really annoyed about that. Who did that? What's your fault? You didn't train me hard enough. I hadn't lost weight yet. Actually I have not weighed myself. That's another point of kind of I just don't. I don't think how heavy I am has really matters. I suppose it matters. What I mean is it's like that's not the thing that gets measured. All right, the thing that gets measured is have I shown up every day? And so far the answer is yes. You know, am I catching my breath quicker after doing some intensive training? I'm enjoying it, right? You know, like the first session I Actually first session I did was a private session and I wasn't sure if I was enjoying it.

26:03
I was just too focused on it happened so quickly, you know, like within 10 minutes. He was like getting me to do these moves that I'd literally never done before, and also all these high kicks really kind of triggered something in my lower back and I've got, I suppose, what would you call it latent sciatica. You know, like I've had sciatica and I still think my back is not fully healed from it, or at least it never does. Really, you know, you're always gonna be hyper aware that at any point your discs in your lower back Kind of sciatica on the holiday. So remember the first session was I was like really, um, I Was just, I was just too kind of focused on doing it to enjoy it. And then the next session there was a group session and that I didn't enjoy Because, you know, I was just quite, quite worried about, you know, I guess I was just too aware of the others how long are they been doing it, you know, and I was just trying to work out what kind of people they were. You know what's what's motivated them to come here.

27:04
And he seemed, you know, and there was all types. It was like it's like Albanian girl who's like looks, who. She looks really demure and petite, but then she gets in the ring and she's just like absolutely machine right, she's just absolutely insanely fit and strong and incredible. And then there's this like German girl who seemed like she was in really reasonably good shape and whatever. And then, you know, it comes to like doing some skipping and she's totally out of breath within two minutes. But she's bought all the gear, you know, like she's really keen.

27:34
Or there's a Swedish guy who's obviously just like gone through a thing, a breakup or it. You know, it's like like he's come here to find himself, to reinvent himself. There's a fat bloke that's just looking Favv, is he fat? Yeah, he's fat. And he's obviously like he's fat. And he trains without his top, as if to go yeah, fuck you, yeah, I've got. Yeah, I'm fat and is is my tits. I don't do that Just to describe myself. For the third person there's a fat bloke. That's me. That's my role, guys.

28:08
I Regret to say and I'm gonna put this on record because this is supposed to be a diary there might be a sitcom in this, there, there's in there. There's enough of a kind of an odd setting. I Don't quite know what the antagonist is yet because unfortunately, all these trainers are quite nice. You know, it's not like these kind of Thai people versus all these foreigners that have come to train with them, but the setting is interesting. You know that, the setting of like a bunch of people that have absolutely nothing in common, that just have to punch each other. Anyway, that is in the back of my mind. That's not necessarily why I came here, but you know, every life experience can all be turned into art is there.

28:48
Stand up in me doing this. Potentially, I don't think I've said anything funny in this Episode. I mean, actually, I guess the dynamic of like, feeling like, oh yeah, they're the sixth form, is they're the bigger boys, and also just generally this idea that, like you know, what am I looking to? To get out of doing Mu Tai. Maybe there's some stand-up in this. We'll see. But the metric is not me losing weight, although I think I probably will end up, if not by the end of this, if I keep up this, doing something for fitness every day, if I keep that up during Perth, which is from which is from mid-January until mid-February, and I'm staying in a hotel that has a gym and a pool, you know like I've got every chance there of remaining fairly active. I Think it's probably a con, you know, and inevitable consequence. They will do some way. But the goal is to enjoy this, because I Don't really enjoy exercise or movement, but I do enjoy having something to do and I enjoy getting better at something.

29:55
And our point of coming to Thailand for all this time was to Kind of do a bit of a reset. Oh, sounds so lame, but you know to just add a lot of shit going on. I'm not taking a break from stand-up and I have just been, you know, gigging a lot. And I was speaking with friends of Brendan Burns. He's been an old friend, dare I say mentor for a while. He's a stand-up comic of very high repute. I've been going for a long, long time and he really agreed with me saying you know, I was just doing stand-up a lot.

30:30
And I said, and you know, they got to the point where, particularly my last show, the one which I was just talking about, I filmed I had to get myself back in that frame of mind of like going through some Traumatic stuff in order to then share it and in the end it kind of becomes a bit artificial and I want to go back on.

30:50
I said to him. I said like I think taking this time out is gonna be good for me because it means the next time I go in, next time I'm in front of an audience, I'll be really grateful, I'll be really glad to see them and I'll be really excited to talk to them about, about something that matters to me. And he went oh, what is that? I said no, I don't know yet, but hopefully I'll find it. I don't think my time is my thing, but I am gradually now enjoying it there by day and I'm actually genuinely looking forward to waking up not necessarily looking forward to it. When I wake up It'll feel like I should just sleep in. I'm looking forward to just showing up, drinking a lot of cold water and and noticing an hour has gone by, the noticing to has gone by, and then going hey look, now your Saturday is yours, after you've, after having accomplished something, and that is a very good thing indeed. I.