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Welcome creatives! These are discussions, thoughts, case studies, interviews, and lessons about how our creativity relates to life. The host, Mr Benja, is a former video game programmer / designer for Rockstar Games, Sony Santa Monica, The 3DO Company, and others, as well as a fine artist. -- Be sure to check out the website for more.
This is the one holiday
that I really like, man.
I really like this holiday
and people always mess it up.
So what we're gonna do Is go through what
I have discovered for me and hopefully
for a lot of other people, what I have
discovered works well for getting your
resolutions in order and making them real.
If you're not familiar with
who I am, my name is Mr.
Benja.
I'm a lifelong creative, and
I'm starting this podcast
called Creativity Threads Life.
I am known as a creative.
I created video games for several years.
13, I'll say, say about 13 years.
I created video games professionally.
I was a programmer and a designer,
worked for a Rockstar Games, worked
for 3DO, worked for a Sony Santa Monica
and a couple other spots, but now
I am out doing other random things,
hosting art shows, consulting, doing
some behind the scenes development.
Doing some background work, design,
graphic design here and there
and helping things happen, man.
I'm also running the show versus
business podcast, but in 2024,
I wanted to start something new.
called Creativity Threads Life.
And I started, I started on this
podcast after I started on Threads last
year, last year, a couple of days ago,
after I started on Threads last year.
Right.
And I really liked the vibe of it had a
very creative vibe, a sense of community.
It wasn't as it was new and fresh and
hadn't had the chance to spoil like.
Other platforms have now,
it's definitely not perfect.
It's still new.
A lot of people don't understand
how to get on there and have
conversations in the threads way,
and they're upset with it, but
nevertheless, I found a good home there.
I found a good bunch of people to
talk to and a bunch of people to
work with and a bunch of people to
in general, be social with my media.
So I started this threads account,
been knocking on it and a lot of
the discussions there, I realized I
wanted to go deeper than just the.
Just the basic, right?
I just wanted, I wanted to go a
little deeper than the normal.
I'm just going to drop a comment.
I'm going to drop a post.
I'm going to make a few statements.
I'm going to make a four
part thread at the most.
I want to connect what I was
saying there with what I was
saying with the real world.
So I started this thing,
creativity threads life.
And it's going well for me.
I have a couple episodes up already
just to kind of tease them out, get my
flow going, but now I'm going to start
getting into this more and more often,
which means showing up here many nights
of the week, several nights of the week,
I guess you say seven, that's almost
all of them, several nights, but I'll be
here quite often doing the whole thing
and talking with you about creativity
because I believe that creativity is One
of the fundamental aspects of life, and
it's largely been taken away from us.
It's been supplanted by consumerism, by
just being lax, lackadaisical nature of
everything, a, a very apathetic drive.
And I want to bring back the
whole idea of creativity, where
you're creating something.
And it doesn't have to be a
fancy painting, it doesn't
have to be a work of art.
Hey, maybe you're creating
a good after school program.
Maybe you're creating a healthy household.
Maybe you're creating a beautiful.
Lawn, right?
You're a landscaper.
You're just creating a beautiful lawn,
whether you're creating a social media
presence or whatever, whatever you're
doing, whatever you're creating.
I think that you can definitely
enrich your life by engaging
yourself more in the creative art.
And I still don't mean that
in the sense of the arts.
I mean that in the sense of taking
something and moving it, taking
nothing and moving it into something,
taking something and moving it into
something greater, taking what was
unformed and forming it into something.
Going from entropy to
order, from chaos to order.
What I want to do here is study
creativity on a pretty general level,
but I'm going to be covering a lot
of topics that I personally enjoy.
Video games, as I said, used to be a game
developer, comic books, comic movies,
sci fi, the social media landscape.
We'll definitely be getting into
the art of marketing, sales,
branding, promotions, advertising,
and some of the dark arts, right?
In the meantime, I'm just going
to take this one day at a time.
I take this one step at a time and see
if we can create something interesting.
And of course, the beginning of
the new year and honestly, New
Year's is my favorite holiday.
It really is.
I get a chance to stop, reflect, uh,
learn from what I did in the past
year and actually challenge myself
to do things in the new year, as well
as I get to act brand new on people.
I get to try out some crazy things, get
to be a little different, get to come
out with some weirdness that you're
probably going to be unex you're just
like, wait, what's he talking about?
Why is he like this?
Who is this guy?
What the hell am I listening to?
I get to get a little weird because
the beginning of the new year, you can
always blame it on, well, he's trying
out something for the new year and
they kind of expect you to go away.
They kind of expect you to stop
doing whatever you think you're
doing and they kind of expect
everything to go back to normal.
It's the new year.
So they give you a pass.
And then around February, March, April,
they kind of see you're still sticking
with it and they might get a little
annoyed, you know, they'll say, okay,
that was cute back then in January 1st.
But you know, now it's,
now it's March 17th.
better tighten up.
I don't know what you think you're doing.
And they get a little upset, but they're
so used to it from the past three
months that they let it go anyway.
And your resolution stands.
So that's why I like resolutions.
It's time for me to be creative.
It's time for me to build
time for me to grow.
Time to do cool things.
So yeah, as I said before, I messed
this podcast up, this podcast
recording up earlier, but I'm
definitely going to get back into it.
And maybe we'll get a scheduled time.
I don't have a scheduled time right
now, but I'll start scheduling a time
for these and we'll see how it goes.
Number or just say what date it is.
I'll just drop the date number,
whatever, because we may renumber these.
This is the creative threads life
podcast for January 2nd, 2024
coming with a special new year's
episode, where I'm going to be going
over making your resolutions real.
Because people seem to think they're fake.
People seem to think that they
really don't do anything and they
treat new year's as if you're
throwing a rock in a well or a
penny in a lake and making a wish.
That is not what resolutions are about.
There are four stages to resolutions that
I want to get into, but you've got to
understand that you need to understand
that resolutions themselves, that the
idea of a resolution is not some magical
fairy thing, and it's not just mashing
the, I want to do it button either.
It's a state of mind, a state of
being that you need to get into.
To conquer your fears, your
insecurities, your hangups, to get
over these things that were holding
you back to overcome these obstacles.
And make resolutions that actually
move you forward year by year.
I've been doing this for quite some
time now, and people are always,
I don't want to say shocked, but
they're always surprised that I, yes,
I actually say stuff, stick to it and
get through it when I, when I want to.
And the when I want to part is
important because there's a lot of
desire and, you know, on one end
and then having no desire, just
talking about stuff on the other end.
But we are here to
actually make things work.
We are here to actually have action,
not just, not just, uh, you know, empty
words, not just platitudes, not just
things we write on our whiteboard or in
a journal to make ourselves feel better.
We're going to get into
the real nitty of it.
And maybe I'll sit here about
an hour, maybe 45 minutes or so.
And we'll go over this thing, but first
this idea that resolutions aren't real.
So you're probably in one of two camps
where you assume resolutions are, are
built up to be this magical thing,
like wishing upon a star, or there's
something special about the new year.
And you know, that astronomy and
astrology have brought together to.
Change things for the better
as long as you believe in them.
You may think that if you want, but
that's not what I'm concerned with
because that is not where I believe,
that is not where I'm going to be
explaining the power of resolutions from.
That's not the point of
view I'm coming from.
So there's the metaphysical side of it.
Now, there is truth to putting your
mind to something, thinking about,
Working something out and building
a solid reasoning for yourself that
works to make a resolution, but on
the general face of it, this is not
about a magical incantation of some
sort that works on January 1st.
And I didn't think
anyone thought like that.
And so I heard someone say, there's
nothing special about January 1st.
If you make a wish on that
day, nothing's going to happen.
And I was like, Whoa, Whoa, Whoa.
My favorite holiday, slow down.
What does any of that have to
do with what I'm about to do?
And then they kind of huffed and
puffed and walked off all mad, I think,
but they didn't expect that they
expected to be coddled or, you
know, they do the old shoulder
rub, like, Oh yes, you're okay.
Just the way you are.
I mean, You're okay as a human, just
the way you are, but you're not okay.
If you're stagnant the way
you are, you're not okay.
If you're staying the same,
the way you are, you have to be
pushing forward towards something.
Otherwise you are by definition,
dying, being stagnant, staying the
same, just existing the ho hum life.
is being stagnant.
That is death.
And I don't deal with it.
I deal with life.
And that's where my idea
of resolutions comes from.
So now people on the other side
of the equation, thinking that a
resolution is a time to, you know,
write something crazy on the board,
listen to motivational tapes and say,
listen, I'm going to lose five pounds.
I'm going to run 10 miles every morning.
I'm going to make 20, 000 in four
weeks all from, um, You know,
selling, selling popcorn on the side
of the highway, whatever you do.
Somebody's got some silly thing that
they're coming up with, but those are all
actions and they don't fit the equation.
I know some of you are saying, why,
why wouldn't actions lead you anywhere?
Well, sure they do, but they have
nothing to do with who you are.
They're an external measure.
Say, well, if you do, you know,
run five miles every day and you
get up at a certain time, you will.
Yeah.
Yeah, I'm sure your body will change.
Your perceptions will change.
Right.
But what I'm getting at is.
That's not the key.
And I can tell you, it's not the
key because a lot of people just,
it just doesn't work for them.
Making resolutions in that
way with the complete external
factoid number on a wall method.
It just doesn't work for a lot
of people and that's what I
want to explore a little bit.
Where can we get to a place where
we have elements of the magical
mystical and elements of the physical
numerical that actually work for you?
Because that's the important part.
Does whatever you're doing work for you?
Because no matter what we're talking
about, you know, you'll come with a lot
of, uh, you'll find a lot of people.
spouting information.
Well, you just need to write it down.
If you write it down, you know
how much stuff I've written
down that hasn't come true.
Exactly.
You've done it too.
You've written stuff down and then
later on you throw that piece of
paper away and say, that was stupid.
So what I want to do is give
you a whole different framework.
And I said, there are four basic
steps to it, but I want to give
you a whole different framework for
thinking about resolutions and getting
the change that you want to see.
And the early part of the year is
a very good time for it because
it's freshening your mind.
You've kind of started and you're looking
at all of that, all the things that have
to happen in the year, coming around to
the next Christmas, going back through.
Thanksgiving, Halloween, the summertime,
back into spring, all the, all the
festivals and cons that happened
throughout the summer and springtime.
Then leading back up into late winter,
getting into, you know, March, getting
into February, and of course, leading
back to now you start thinking all the way
through the year, but what I want you to
do is think about today, not yesterday.
Not tomorrow.
You're thinking about today.
So when you start coming up with
all these ideas in your head about
getting a result, I want you to know
you're already not on the right path.
You're saying the model on the right path.
What are you talking about?
I'm supposed to envision a
result and get there, right?
Let me make a little clarification here.
Let me, let me do a little bit of.
Nuantic dance here.
Bring a little nuance into the discussion.
By the way, I will make up words at will.
I care not what you think.
I understand grammar.
I don't care for a lot of
it and change it at will.
So nuancic is going to be a word.
I like that better.
So we're going to make some, um, new
antique thoughts about the new year.
Um, so we got this new year, right?
And you say you want a result.
You say, Hey, listen, I want to,
I want to get into these pants.
I won't lose five pounds.
I won't lose 10 pounds.
I want to get this much money.
I want to have a better
relationship with my kids.
And you start coming up with all these
external things that you write on a
whiteboard or you write down somewhere.
And those are fine.
They're fine because you
have to start somewhere.
So yes, write those things down, put
them into the universe, put them down on
paper, think about them, but then that'll
be your rough draft because they're
going to change, they should change.
And the reason they're going
to change is because you don't
know what you're talking about.
Most times when you come up
with a resolution, you don't
know what you're talking about
and they need to be adjusted.
Anybody who's worked in corporate
America knows that some guy.
Five levels up comes out with the
Microsoft project Gantt chart and says,
yeah, you should be done by this time.
And then everybody screams and
scrambles, trying to figure
out what they're going to do.
And you never end up on the right time.
You're either way too early and you
spent too many resources and, or you
have too many resources remaining
and it's not up to par, or maybe you
couldn't get it all done in time and.
You're late on the schedule.
You don't have enough resources
instead of too many resources.
This happens to real people too.
So we don't have to look at
corporate America to figure this out.
You can just look at yourself and based
on the people that have talked, your
resolutions are failing for some reason.
There are many reasons why they would.
And I have a lot of them written down.
If you, if you were here for my new year's
eve Epic stream, I went through about
60 resolution problems pretty quickly.
But if you've got an, if you've got an
idea of something, an idea, just start
with an idea of a better life and an
improvement into your environment, a way
of change that moves you in the positive
direction, a positive direction for you,
not what somebody else says for you.
If you've got some inkling, some
idea, then that's what you start with.
And you write that down.
It's probably going to start out very
external or very internal and vague.
Internal and vague is like, I'm
going to be a better person.
External and vague, and external and
uh, incorrect is like, I'm going to
lose 25 pounds by December, whatever.
It is fine to have those, and here's
where I'm going to get in trouble.
But I just want to offer a better way.
What could be better than
being specific, measurable,
actionable, realistic, and timely?
Which is your SMART goals.
I'll get on smart goals later, but just
want you to think about this and I'll
bring up the points as we go along.
So follow along.
I don't have time to
debunk the whole thing.
I'll just, as I bring up points, you'll
understand that why I'm bringing this
point up is to debunk that common thought.
So, but I don't want to get into
debunking everything right off
the bat, but those are myths.
Yes, that you need to have something
extremely specific that might
get you started, but oftentimes
it just, you set it in a mirror
every day for, for three months.
I'm going to do this and
I'm going to do this.
I'm going to do.
Yeah, there, there, there are
an enormous number of reasons.
Why your resolutions didn't work, but
understand, let me, we got to get that
started, understand you have to have an
idea, an idea of where you want to go.
A trajectory.
First thing you have to have first
of these four steps, you have to
have a reason and we'll get into what
a reason, what a, well, I won't, I
won't spoil it here, but you need to
have a start with the reason someone
says they just want to be healthier.
That's not very much of a reason.
It's kind of a.
Of a, wouldn't it be nice if statement,
but it doesn't, that doesn't really
bring change that doesn't do anything.
And I said, on the more specific side,
if someone says, instead of, I want
to be a better person, it's like, I
want to, I want to meet up with 16.
I want to get 16 new close
friends next week, like 16 new
close friends by next week.
Okay.
I guess so.
But what does that mean?
See both of these sides, and these
are coming from the two major types
of people who engage in resolutions.
In the past, we're on the future now,
what both of these lack is a reason
and I didn't say a why I said a
reason if you just have a why, you
know, you want to get healthier.
Why?
Well, my, my, uh, my, my family's
coming in town and my uncle is going
to see me and he always, he always
says something about how chubby I am.
So I want to get healthier.
I was like, okay, that's better.
That's a little more of a reason.
You start writing down
all these little factoids.
About what's going to take
you to that next level, what's
going to move you forward.
Or you start looking at that, okay,
why did I write down I need to have.
Let's keep, let's, let's stick with
the, the health and weight examples
and so many people do that one.
It's like, why do I need to have,
why do I need to run this much?
Why do I need to run four miles
and go to the gym every Monday,
Wednesday, Friday for a whole year?
Why do I need to have that?
It's like, well, to get healthier, to
get more in shape, because I said I was
going to last year, because if I can do
that, then I'll probably lose four pounds.
And then if I do that, I'll probably
be in better shape and I'll look
better and I can go to the I can go
to the dance and the club and, you
know, pick up more, more people.
It'll be great.
And that's how I'll get
my 16 friends or whatever.
And it just starts to become this, you're
just picking numbers out of the sky.
It doesn't mean anything once again.
So you got to start asking
yourself that second question.
Okay.
Well, why am I going to the gym?
Uh, get healthier.
Yeah.
Yeah.
But why are you, what's, What
does your, what is your soul?
What does your, your
internal version of you care?
You can't just have a reason
that you don't care about.
You need to have a reason that
you care or something about.
My example was I was running
up, um, I was taking a walk and
I decided to take a shortcut.
I wanted to see if you could get between
these instead of going all the way
around the block using the sidewalk.
I wanted to see if I could
cut between these buildings.
I saw there was some grass and you know,
nobody, it wasn't like, uh, somebody's
backyard or anything, but it was just
this little path and walkway between
one side of the block and the other.
And I was like, boom, let me
see if I can just walk through.
So as I started walking
through, I was like, Oh, this
is a pretty cool little area.
And then I saw a series of steps
with some planters on them.
And the planners were, I'd
say like three feet high.
And I thought to myself,
okay, this is good.
This is good.
I can, uh, I can just cut through
here, run up those stairs, jump over
the planters, and then I'll be on
the other side and it'll be great.
Cut out some time, did a little adventure.
It'll be great.
So I got a running start cause I needed
to run up the first couple of steps and
then I needed to jump over this planter.
So I started jogging and even
at the beginning of the jog.
I felt my feet weren't, weren't pushing
me along the way I wanted them to.
And I felt my legs were
a little, a little tight.
So yeah, I, I ran, bounded up a couple of
the steps, and then when I took the last
jump to jump over one of these planters
so I could get to the other side, I
hit my shin on the concrete edge of the
planter, rolled across the plants, through
the dirt, and made a fool of myself.
Not, nobody was watching, but
I was like, that was foolish.
Not because I shouldn't have done it, but
because I thought that I still had the
ability to run, bound up those steps, and
then leap over this three foot planter.
Was it three feet?
Well, yeah, I wanted to get it in a
single jump, but it didn't work out.
Hit my shin, rolled through the dirt.
Probably, I didn't kill the
plants, but they, you know, they
got rolled over a little bit.
And I jumped up, grabbed my leg.
I wasn't too hurt.
limped through the plants and
uh, ended up walking down the
street much at a much slower pace.
My, my heart was beating, my chest
was constrained, couldn't breathe as
much as I wanted to, I was sweating a
little just from that little jog and
jump up the steps and I was like, man,
being in video games had made me weak.
I mean, nothing about
video games in particular.
There are a lot of fit guys in the
video game development industry,
actually, but, but this game
developer was not fit at the time.
So I started running through all
these thoughts through my head.
Like, okay, gosh, what
just, what just happened?
What went on with me?
Why did I want to do that?
Why did I think I could, why
am I so upset that I couldn't,
why am I?
Why am I not mad that my, my clothes are
dirty, but I'm mad that I'm sweating.
Why am I not mad that I could have
fractured my shin and why am I more
worried that my, you know, my, my legs
weren't weak and this is a bit of an
identity, I wouldn't say crisis, but
it was just a shock to my identity.
I was like, hold on, man.
I was a two time winner of the
presidential physical fitness
award in elementary school.
This is terrible.
I played flag football.
I was, uh, you know, I was going back to
my high school days like this ain't right.
I should be able to do this.
Now a lot of people will jump in
at this point and just give up.
Their, their thoughts give up
and they say, well, I'm just old.
Well, I'm just not that person anymore.
Well, I don't work out so I don't
have the right diet or you know,
that planter was pretty high.
They start coming up with
excuses instead of reasons.
You need a reason to do something,
not an excuse to avoid something.
So I started, I took this to heart.
I said, all right, I need a reason.
Now I shouldn't be this person.
I shouldn't be, I shouldn't run up.
But, um, I bounded up
the steps and was tired.
My, my legs were a little weak
and I was like, this is terrible.
This is, this is about
a decade ago or longer.
Uh, yeah, about, about a decade ago.
Little under a decade ago.
So yeah, um, wasn't
feeling great about it.
Really mad at myself,
and I used that anger.
Actually, this is where I
advise focusing on the negative.
When you're trying to figure out a
reason to go to the positive, it is
okay to acknowledge the negative.
Look at the bad things, don't dwell
on them, and don't try to completely
ignore them and say they don't exist.
Just acknowledge them, acknowledge
that feeling and then deal with it.
So I'm limping and I'm walking and
it's not like a limping something
broken, but yeah, my leg was a little,
a little throbbing, a little hurt.
It was bruised a little bit,
but that didn't matter to me.
I was just upset that I couldn't
do something that I really
thought I should be able to do.
And that started coming up with
bullet points of my, my, my current
shape as a, why I wasn't doing that.
I'm like, look, you drive too much.
You should be walking to these locations.
Look, you're eating like a,
you're eating like a pig, you're,
you're eating a bunch of snacks.
You're not eating food that's going
to work for you in the future.
And I started to think about all the
things that I was doing that were keeping
me from my goal of being, I didn't
even have like a fit goal in mind.
I didn't have a pant size.
I didn't say I was going to
lose a certain number of pounds.
Didn't say I was going to be in
the gym for, for however long.
You know, I done, I did the gym
thing before, so I was fine,
but, but now I had a reason.
Now I had a reason.
I'm not going to be that chump.
If some kid comes running, I
want to be able to jump up the
stairs and jump over the planter.
I just want that freedom of mobility.
I didn't want to ever feel scared of
running upstairs because I'd get my,
I'd get tired, you know, I'd get the
wind knocked out of me from a, from a
failing attempt at hopping a planter.
That just seems, that
just seems silly to me.
Totally, totally messed with my identity.
Didn't like it.
But I held on to that intentionally
so I could properly acknowledge it and
start finding out things I could do.
And that's just an example
of finding a reason.
First step, you gotta find a reason.
In the real world, preferably.
Not just something that sounds nice.
Not just something you're
gonna write on a whiteboard.
Something that will have
a real world consequence.
Something that will be remarkable to you.
And when I say remarkable,
I mean that literally.
It will cause a remark through some
person or something that will make a
solid acknowledgement of your progress.
That's remarkable.
But you have to have a reason.
And that reason has to be real,
with real world implications.
Now what do I mean by
real world implications?
You can't just say, you're
going to get healthier.
Sure, that's something you can say, and
that's probably a good thing to have.
But let's quantify that a little bit.
What is the real world meaning of that?
Um, if you want to simply be able
to say, I go to the gym every day,
that's not a very strong reason.
But if you want to be
able to say, I'm more fit.
Then anybody in my development team,
maybe you work with the team of developers
and you're all kind of in bad shape.
If you can say to yourself,
listen, we have a bad look,
I want to lead us out of it.
I am going to clearly be the most
fit person in this development group.
That's a good reason shows
competition, social order.
You may be having some thoughts of status
on your mind, lots of different reasons,
but starting with the
reason is a great way to go.
Maybe you're, maybe you want your, you
really do want to be around for your kids.
I know a lot of older people have
this problem when they run across a
health ailment and they realize their
children are too young to really
interact with them in the way they want.
So they really start thinking like, oh
gosh, if I can't make it ten more years, I
won't be able to see my son graduate from
high school and high school graduation
may be the most important thing to you.
Like in, in your life, it just may mean
something really important to you, not
to anybody else, not to some, not to
some construction paper thermostat you've
got on the wall to chart your progress.
I'm talking about something that actually
means something to you in your life.
If you don't have a reason, come up
with one, come up with something.
If it, if it takes you too long and
you only have a weak reason, just
leave it on that sheet of paper,
leave it on your whiteboard and
come back to it later and see if you
can come up with a better reason.
As you go through life and you're
thinking about a reason to get fit, or
a reason to get more money, or a reason
to get into a relationship, or whatever,
you just need to have it on your mind.
It will refine itself if
you keep hammering at it.
But get that reason.
So that's step one.
And spend a little more time
on that because it's definitely
important to have that first step
of getting a reason together.
Whatever that reason means to you.
Now the second step is you're
going to try to resolve.
Your reason, your reasoning.
Now, a second ago, I mentioned
having excuses a little while ago.
I mentioned having excuses and I want to
make, I should make the separation between
a reasoning, reasoning and an excuse.
When someone gives you an excuse,
they're making a justification
for not doing something as opposed
to a reason why they did or why
something happened the way it did.
Because once you give an excuse, you're,
you're shaking your hands clear of
the whole situation and like, well,
you can't blame me for, you can't.
And it's like, whatever.
That's not, that's not helping you.
That's, that's making you stay in
the same place that you already are.
If you have a resol, a reason.
Or there's a reasoning
behind what you're doing.
Now we're getting somewhere.
Say, look, why didn't you
make it to work on time?
Say, well, the traffic was excuse.
The reason you didn't
make it to work on time.
Was because you were unable to navigate
the traffic and get there in time.
Now, if you were really worried about
getting to work on time, you would have
checked Google Maps earlier in the day.
You would have gotten up earlier.
You would have seen that
maybe something was wrong.
Or maybe the accident came out of nowhere.
Well, how long does an accident
take to resolve if you're
looking at the traffic data?
Half hour?
Leave for work a half hour earlier?
Maybe you can't do that, or
maybe you shouldn't do that,
or maybe you don't want to?
Well, then your reason is I
don't want to spend that time.
I don't want to spend that time planning.
I want to be at home or I want
to do whatever else, but don't
make an excuse out of it.
Don't try to excuse yourself or justify.
So make sure you're not making excuses
when you're building your reasoning.
And I wanted to stop and mention that
because what's going to happen in
the next step of trying to resolve
your reasoning is you're going to
come up with a couple problems.
You're going to come up with
conflicts of interest, internal
conflicts that need to get resolved.
Like, I need to go to the gym
every morning, but in the mornings,
I'd like to relax and sip on tea.
What am I going to do?
You have to resolve these things.
Something has to get let go,
something has to get put to the side,
something has to get prioritized, and
something has to get deprioritized.
Something has to get worked on
and something else has to be left
alone, possibly to rot away if you
don't cut it off manually yourself.
You're going to have to make choices.
You're going to have to resolve some
things because the variables in your
life all need to come to balance and
you need to learn what it is to resolve
something because once you resolve
something and you've got a problem,
at least in your head for the moment,
you've got a certain problem solved.
You've resolved it, you've boiled
it down to its essence, and
you know what you need to do.
Then you come to the third
state, which is a resolution.
If you've come to a resolution, then you
have a complete working set of guidelines
that is going to take you somewhere
that you have a good reason to go.
If you have a resolution, that
means you have become resolute.
You have taken reasons, you've resolved
them, and now you're at a resolute
state because you have a resolution.
If you are in mentally a resolute
state, it's not just that you decided
or you puffed your chest up and said,
I'm going to do 500 pushups a day.
That's not a resolution.
That's a statement of hot air.
A resolution is coming to that decision
in your head where you say, listen.
I don't know if I'm going to be
able to make it, but I am going to
push towards that desired end point.
Maybe you start doing pushups and
you realize your wrists are hurting.
Your resolution is going
to do one of two things.
One of a couple things.
It's either going to give up,
which you don't want to do, or
you find something else to do.
Now, this is why I said a resolution
isn't just writing some numbers on the
board, because anybody can do that.
But that's not a resolution.
A resolution is actually
coming to that decision.
So you say you're going to do all
these pushups and you start doing
them and your wrists start hurting.
Now what?
Does that mean you've broken your
resolution because your wrist
started hurting and you failed
and you can't do it anymore?
No, your resolution was not to reach
some certain number, some arbitrary
figment of your imagination, a metric
that may or may not be worth anything
to you, a value that you can't control.
Because you thought you could do 500
push ups, but you can only get around
to 37 before your wrists start hurting.
What are you gonna do?
You might have to do bench press.
You might have to do pull ups in
order to get the type of shape that
you want while your wrists take time
to catch up with the rest of you.
You see what I'm saying?
You might have to do something a little
different thing you thought you would
do to make it to where you want to be.
Because in any journey, you'll
never know the entire path.
You barely even know the path of
getting from where you are to work.
You may have to stop, go around something.
There may be a parade going on.
You may have to take somebody else's car.
You may have to stop for gas.
Somebody may call you and say, Hey,
you forgot something at the house.
You may have to turn back around.
You have your general trajectory, even for
something as simple as getting to work.
Now, if there's something more complex,
and you generally are complex because
you don't have a simple reason.
Reasons come from a lot
of variables internally.
But once you start resolving them, coming
to a resolution, you'll realize that, you
know what, this is not quite working out.
Maybe I need to think
about my reasoning again.
Why am I doing this again?
Right.
Okay, that's still valid.
If that's still valid, then you go back
to how you're resolving this again.
It's like, okay, I don't have
a gym membership, but I do have
a floor, so I can do push ups.
Okay.
But the push ups are hurting my
wrists, so what else can I do?
I can do sit ups.
Okay, but then my back starts hurting.
Okay, now I need to start thinking
I still have a good reason, but the
way I was trying to resolve this
situation with the resources that
I have isn't working out for me.
So what do I do next?
What do I do next?
You start thinking to yourself.
All right, I've got a jump rope.
A jump rope is cheap.
Doesn't need me to go to the gym.
I can just go in the backyard
and start jumping rope.
My legs have always worked great.
I don't get any pains when I jump rope.
It'll get me started.
So now you have a resolution, maybe
to keep moving sometime during the
day, so you resolve to yourself.
Yes, I'm going to keep moving
sometime during the day.
You may slip and not make every
day, but then you may go hard, you
know, twice a day and do something
three times a day, especially if
you're doing something like pushups.
You may need to break that up
into different pieces, so you
don't do them all at once.
You may need to break them up into
different sets, some in the morning,
some in the afternoon, some at night.
What I'm saying is you're going to
continually go back to this reasoning
and resolve state, and then seeing
if your resolution still stands.
But if you think of resolutions as
something on a whiteboard, like,
well, you know, I'm going to go to the
gym every Monday, Wednesday, Friday
at 10 AM, and then yeah, schedule
all you want, but remember the real
world, the resolution that you're
trying to make in the real world.
May not, may not work for that.
So that's not your resolution.
Your resolution is to get on a
path that causes that reasoning
that you thought of to work out
with the resolve that you've made,
you got your resolution.
Um, and that may seem like a little bit of
a vague definition for resolution because
it really didn't define a resolution,
but it's getting in that resolved state
where you are now of a resolute nature
where someone can't shake your Foundation.
If you go out to eat and you resolve
to be a healthier individual, whatever
that means, however you define
it, you can do whatever you do.
If you said, listen, I made a resolution
that I was going to be able to run up a
flight of stairs without getting winded,
without getting sweaty and without
falling over, if that was your resolution,
I want to be able to be this thing.
If I am this thing, then I
should be able to do this.
You can phrase it that too.
I want to be this and I
need to be able to do this.
To prove it.
That's a, that's a good way of framing
a resolution where if I call myself
fit, I want to be able to run up a
flight of stairs without getting winded.
That's all I want to be able to do.
So you get to school, there's
a flight of stairs, run up it.
You're winded.
You're not done.
Run up at the next day.
Someone offered you go out to eat.
Somebody offers you
fried chicken sandwich.
Say, no, I will have the
grilled chicken sandwich.
Get away from me with all that shit.
It's like, all right, started
to take a step forward
and I need to sneeze.
Oh, that's terrible.
Oh man.
I am allergic to talking
about, uh, some nonsense.
Anyway, uh, back to what I was saying.
So yeah, you've gotten your,
you're in a resolute state.
And you can tell when someone's in
a resolute state because they have
a hard time accepting your, your
nonsense and your BS for too long.
And when I say your nonsense and your
BS is your way of doing things, your
way of seeing the world that doesn't
fit their resolute nature anymore.
So you ever try to give a kid that's
been babied for far too long, you
try to give that kid a bottle and the
kid pushes it away and wants the cup.
That kid has resolved that,
hey, look, I'm, I'm old enough.
Give me the cup, the kid says.
I don't want that bottle anymore.
I'm a grown kid.
That kid has resolved something within
himself or herself or theirselves,
the kids resolve something.
And it's just kind of come to a decision.
I mean, if they get thirsty,
they may go ahead and drink from
the bottle or whatever, but you
can tell that decision's there.
It's like, all right, I'm
gonna let this one slide, but.
You know, I want that cup.
Same thing with you.
You should get to a point where it's
like, all right, I might not be able
to run up all those steps, but I can
run up the first, the first four.
I'm coming for you steps.
And hopefully you have a good reason.
Once again, I don't know if just
being able to run up the stairs is
good enough of a reason for you, but
that really messed with my identity.
So that became my reason.
I wasn't worried about
looking good for anybody.
All I knew is that if I was out
somewhere and there were a bunch of
stairs, I wanted to be able to run up
them and it's come up quite a bit too.
You're at a football game or a
basketball game and you know, you
got some seats, you need to run up a
couple of stairs, boom, boom, boom,
I want to run up those stairs fast.
The hot dog man is up the
stairs, boom, boom, boom, I
want to be up there to meet him.
I want to come back down happy, not,
not sweating and breathing hard.
If I go to, if an elevator is taking
too long, I just want to be able to run
up the stairs and not be sweaty when
the other people open up the elevator
doors and I'm already up there chilling.
It became a thing for me.
I can't totally explain it.
But it was a thing had
to be able to do that
for people with a resolute nature.
And that's what you need.
Not just some empty platitude
or some, some promise to
yourself that has no, no weight.
You're not making a promise to yourself.
When you just say, well, you
know, I'm going to do this.
I can do that.
I don't care what you can do.
I don't care what you
will, you say you will do.
I care that you've become resolute, that
you've resolved something and you have
that you have a reasoning behind it.
That's to me getting
to that resolute state.
That is a resolution.
I spent enough time on this because
I wanted to really nail that home.
The way you're thinking about
resolutions is probably not solid.
And this is going to take
more than one day, by the way.
You're not just going to write on your
whiteboard on January 2nd, 6th, or
whatever, one thing, and it stay the same.
You're going to need to adjust
it, tweak it, work it a little bit
to where it makes sense for you,
where all the four steps work out.
And speaking of the four steps,
there's step number four.
You need to get to a place
of rebirth where you're
essentially a different person.
Now we change all the time and we like
to say that oh, I'm the same person or
I don't change or you know I'm still me.
Yeah.
Yeah, I get you.
I understand that.
I'm not trying to confuse that.
But when you hit the rebirth stage,
you, you switch gears completely.
And people will know it.
You'll know it.
Your environment will know it.
But you've had a rebirth when you hold
on to your resolution hard enough.
You may not have actually reached
the point that you want to get to
by setting your, your resolution.
You may not have even gotten there.
And you'll go through a rebirth.
How does that work?
So let's say, let's say you're
working on getting healthier.
I'll just stick with this example
because so many people are on it.
Some people are probably in the gym.
Hopefully if you're in
the gym you're listening.
This is a thing you do.
You go out, you eat with all your
friends, you all start talking it
up, and you're happy and having fun.
Every time you're out with your
friends, you start eating like a pig.
Anything that comes in front of
your plate, you're eating it.
Your friend from college reaches over to
the table, he hands you, he hands you a
plate, and he's like, you gotta try this.
You eat that too.
Then you order drinks.
Then afterwards, you go to another
bar, you order some more drinks there.
You're getting fat as a house.
You don't care.
You say, well, I'll go
work out in the morning.
On the way home, you're a little tired.
You stop by, get a coffee.
Might as well get a
donut while you're at it.
You make it home.
Hopefully, you didn't drink
too much because you don't want
to be drinking and driving.
But anyway, now you're tired.
You're full of fattening food.
You're full of sugar from
the donut and the coffee.
You can't wake up at a decent time.
You wake up late.
You need to get somewhere
so you get something fast.
Let me stop by McDonald's.
Get some, get something real quick from
McDonald's cause that's good for me.
That's all a problem, and that's you
being the same you, regardless of
what you've done up to that point.
What will start to happen is you will
hit a rebirth stage, where somewhere
along the way, you go out to eat.
And as I said, somebody
offers you a chicken sandwich,
a fried chicken sandwich.
And you're like, no, give me
the grilled chicken sandwich.
And they're like, oh, okay.
They try to slide a big
iced tea across to you.
It's like, hey, we have
the sweet iced tea.
Go ahead and drink this.
And you're like, no, actually, I'm good.
I'll have a, uh, you know,
something less sweet.
I'll have a apple juice and
seltzer, maybe a pineapple seltzer.
Cut down on some of the sugar by
throwing some seltzer water in there.
Maybe that's your thing.
I don't know.
Then the meal comes.
You're full, but you kind of want
to finish the rest of it anyway.
So you just go ahead and finish eating
because everybody else is still eating.
So you just finished the food anyway,
that would have been the old you,
maybe when you're finished with your
food, you call the waiter over and
say, box the rest of this up and
they're like, Oh, you don't like it.
Oh, you don't like your grilled chicken
sandwich and pineapple seltzer water.
Oh, you didn't like it.
And they want to make fun of you
because you're not doing what.
You used to do, but you're like,
no, no, I'm wrapping this thing up.
Uh, you might just, I used to wrap
food up to act like I was going to eat
it, but then just throw it away later.
How about that?
People didn't like the
idea of throwing away food.
I didn't feel like dealing
with that kind of pushback.
So sometimes I would just wrap
the food up and then throw it
away later if I didn't want it.
Sometimes I'd wrap the food up and
then eat it in small portions later.
Still, still better than forcing
yourself to eat it right then.
So yeah, maybe instead of,
you know, driving home and
getting coffee and donuts.
Why don't you take a nap, set
your alarm for 15 minutes in the
restaurant parking lot or whatever.
Maybe it's only seven o'clock at night,
15 minute nap, and then you're refreshed
enough to drive home without it.
Or maybe, maybe instead of a hot
coffee, maybe you just get a hot drink.
Maybe that the heat is
enough to keep you awake.
Get a lollipop.
I don't know.
Play loud music, do something.
But what I'm saying is you start getting.
You start, you're being resolute at
this point where you're like, no, I
know what I'm doing is going against
what I've resolved to do, and I have
my reason for doing it this way.
So I need to start pushing back
against some of this, this negativity,
this thing that's pushing me in the
direction I don't want to go, which
is the definition of negativity.
And I need to start thinking about
going in a positive direction.
So now you're getting in a
positive direction, a better
way of thinking about things, a
better way of going ahead with it.
It may not be perfect.
It may be silly.
It may be kind of goofy.
It may not even work.
You may have to try many things, but
at some point, you're going to go out
with your friends and you're going
to sit down and they're going to say,
well, what do you, what do you have?
And you might say, oh,
I'm just having the sushi.
And it's like, oh, okay.
Usually, usually the steak with
us or the chicken sandwich.
Yeah, I'm not ordering that.
Or you might order the, whatever.
And then you might not start going
out to eat with your friends.
Maybe you meet up with them at the
bar, but you go eat with somebody else.
Maybe your whole friends group changes.
Maybe after you stop eating like that, you
realize the only reason you were hanging
out with them was to eat like a fat ass.
That was a weird inflection.
Fat ass.
Not fat ass.
What I'm saying is when you're
resolute and you're of a certain
ilk, you will start to separate
yourself from where you were and be
reborn as another version of you.
I have a group of friends.
They still go out to eat and
I just don't meet with them.
I meet with them in other
places and it's all good.
And if I do go out with them, you
know, one time they went out to
a Taco Bell and I was like, cool.
I met them there and they
had food from somewhere else.
I mean, Taco Bell, the manager might
come out and say, excuse me, sir.
You're not supposed to
be eating other food.
Make it out of here.
It's Taco Bell.
I ain't going to say anything.
Anyway, that is having the rebirth.
When all of a sudden you're, you realize
that you're in a different lane, that
you were in the far right lane and
now you're three lanes over, you're
like, yeah, I'm not getting off the
off ramp, but I'm three lanes over now.
I'm on a different lane.
I'm going, I'm in the
line to go somewhere else.
The off ramp is going
to take people that way.
I'm going to go this way.
You may still be in the same
place physically, but people
see you a little differently.
You see the world a little differently.
Your rebirth is there.
Maybe people were used to getting a bunch
of gifts during Christmas, but you know,
you stopped splurging on Christmas gifts.
You started keeping that
for your closer friends.
Everybody's like, Hey, I didn't,
I didn't receive my coffee
mug and t shirt this year.
What happened?
It's like, Hey, I'm not sending
them to everybody this year.
Sorry.
You might need, you might need to do that.
If you're not really worried about
the social group of friends, you
might just need to pull back on it.
But you only start getting that, that
realization that you're separating
from where you used to be and you
start attaching to where you're
going, attaching to the energies
that are going in your direction.
That's when you start having that rebirth.
At some point.
Whether you consciously realize it or
not, your mind will have switched over.
So I'm making the sound
like it's long process.
Sometimes it's an actual, it's
an actual instantaneous change at
any, at any of these four stages.
Sometimes just have an instantaneous thing
that says, nope, I am never doing that
again, and it just happens like that.
Sometimes it builds up over years
where you're a little better year
by year, but it just depends.
So don't hurt yourself if you're.
If you're, you know, you don't have,
if something changes too quickly and
you're like, I don't know what's going
on, it's fine, you may just be changing
for the week, you may snap back, learn
something and keep trying, keep going
again, but anyway, those are the four.
That is, once again, reason,
resolve, resolution, and rebirth.
And I've gone through all these stages
many times, and I mark it down like this.
I have a wildly different view of
resolutions, goals, objectives,
aspirations, trajectories, and
strategies than everybody else I know.
But it works for me.
And I hope that what this has
done is shown you that there are
different ways of thinking about this.
Listen, don't just write
something on a board.
Start getting a reason together.
And work on that reason every day.
Say, well, you know what?
This reason wasn't strong enough.
Let me make it stronger.
You know what?
This reason is a little
too all over the place.
Let me focus it a little bit.
You know what?
This reason is a little too tight.
Maybe I need to expand my
reasoning a little bit.
And then once you've gotten your
reason down, try to resolve any of
the problems or any of the obstacles
or any of the, um, detriments
to that reasoning and rationale.
Start trying to resolve them.
Start trying to figure out.
Okay.
Well, how can I make this work?
Okay.
How can I still hang off my
friends without turning into a
fat ass like the rest of them?
Okay.
How can I go to the gym
and not become a gym rat?
I don't, I don't like gyms.
I don't, how can I get fit?
You know, how can I, Oh, wait a minute.
Maybe I don't need to work out so
much as I do need to change my diet.
Okay.
Maybe I don't need to change
my diet except for change
the friends that I eat with.
Okay.
Maybe it's not so much.
And you're going to go do
a lot of back and forth.
So that's the resolve part.
Once again, you get to your resolution.
Once you start getting into that resolute
state where you start settling into, I
believe this, and I don't go for that.
I avoid that.
And I go towards this.
Once you get to that resolute state.
And if you're looking at a, if
you're looking at a graph, you can
put a dot on one part of the graph.
That's your current self.
Another part of the dot, which you don't.
Another set of dots of where you
don't want to be, and another set
of dots of where you want to be.
And you should have some sort of
direction, which I call a trajectory.
That's sending you in a basic direction.
You get a resolution, you have a
resolute nature, you're going, you
don't know how you're going to get
there, but you're going in some
direction that you know is good for you.
And you're going to be figuring out
along the way, you're going to be taking,
trying shortcuts, you're going to be
trying long cuts that don't work either.
You're going to be trying a lot of
different ways to get on this path.
If you're of a resolute nature,
you're just going to keep at
it, because that's you now.
You're like that baby who no longer
wants the bottle, he wants the sippy
cup, and he wants the real person cup.
In fact, he may even want a crystal glass.
He may want a glass out of the, out of
the night shelf, where nobody drinks from.
Finally, you get to a rebirth stage,
where you're settled in, and you're
starting to actually make changes.
That's when things start to get weird
and unfamiliar, because you don't know
what's going on in this new world, this
new state, and you may actually want to
snap back to your Old way of doing things
just because it's more comfortable,
but no, you are in the reverse stage.
And listen, I hope that was good for you.
I'm going to try to keep these at
about an hour or less, but this was the
four that were on my mind and it was
important that I put it out there like
this because Hey, it's new year's time.
This is creativity threads, life, a
podcast where we talk about creativity
and all of its connections in and out
of life, whether you're creative or not.