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For anyone who’s been in the opposite place of where they want to be 🩷
Real talk, raw truth and a little sparkle ✨ Kirby discuses sex, relationships, ditching alcohol and what it means to really be happy 🌸
Hey, it's Kirby Myers and you are
listening to Behind The Blonde.
So this is a podcast for anyone
who's ever been in the opposite
place of where they want to be.
Last week we talked about
staying human in a heavy world.
I realized that the through line
for me is conviction, not anger,
not outrage, but
conviction rooted in love.
I've always been somebody who's been
compelled to stand up for people
who don't have a voice, even when
it's been really uncomfortable.
The difference now is I've gotten
older and grown up and come into
my freedom is that I no longer
carry any shame around it.
I no longer give other people permission
to make me feel a certain way.
I carry my choice, and that's
what I want to talk about today.
So when I was younger, I can remember
many moments in my life where I stood up
for people when I felt like they didn't
have anybody else standing up for them.
And for whatever reason, they didn't feel
that they could stand up for themselves.
And a lot of times that put me in a
really vulnerable, uncomfortable, and.
Oftentimes scary.
Situation just within my own body
and my own brain because when you're
not quite in your confidence yet
and fully in your freedom, even
though you might do these things,
it doesn't come without consequence.
And everything that we do, every
choice that we make has a consequence
and it's just ours to decide whether
that consequence is worth it.
Or not.
And for me, it's always been worth it.
But the beauty of getting older and
growing up and coming into who I am
is that I can make these choices,
understand that they have consequences
and be fully okay with them because I am
completely convicted in what I believe
and know that it does always come from
love and come from a place of goodness.
So I remember.
Vividly.
There was a boy that I went to high
school with and he was always picked on.
He was pushed around.
He was made fun of.
He was that kid.
And I saw it all the time
and it bothered me so deeply.
I just couldn't stand it.
And I remember there was a
group of these cool kids, right?
And I was always friends with everybody.
I was friendly with all different groups.
But at the time, I was, my main kind of
group was I guess with those kids, right?
With those, football players and
lacrosse players and the girls and.
They were the ones that I guess I'd go
out with on the weekends and things like
that, and I noticed that they were the
ones who were taking this boy's car during
lunchtime on a pretty regular basis.
And one day I was out at my car.
And I saw this guy standing there
and he was looking around and he was
clearly very anxious and he was waiting
and waiting and so I just kind of, I
don't know, I just kind of waited at
the side to see what was happening.
And then a little time went
by and he started pacing.
And so I went up to him and
I said, Hey, are you okay?
What's going on?
And he said, well, so-and-so took my car.
They're not back yet.
My class started.
I'm gonna be late.
I don't wanna get in trouble.
And I said, why did they take your car?
And they're like, well, they,
they take it almost every day.
And I'm like, do you want
them to take your car?
No, but they bully me into it.
And I'm like, well, that's not cool.
Why can't you just tell them no?
And of course, he was
afraid, he was scared.
And it was starting to click with
me at that time that these kids
were maybe not the people that I
wanted to surround myself with.
So I waited with him and I
was late to my own class.
And when they showed up and whipped
in the parking lot and flew into
the parking space and threw the
keys at him, and I just marched
up to them and I let 'em have it.
I said, how dare you?
Who do you think you are that you're
gonna bully him into taking his car?
And he's late to class.
Don't you ever, ever do that again?
Do you understand me?
And that was it.
After that day.
I was completely iced out, as you
can imagine, by that group of kids.
And I ended up eating my lunch in the
art class for the remainder of that
year because I was so uncomfortable.
I had anxiety coming to school
and we had a huge school.
And I played sports and I was on the
yearbook committee and uh, I wrote for
the school paper so I had plenty of
people that I liked and was friendly with.
But this, these were the kids.
These were the kids that knew exactly how
to make you feel like you were a leper
walking around the halls of the classroom.
And I felt exactly that way.
So I didn't wanna go to the cafeteria.
I did not want to have that
feeling of walking around,
looking around, where can I sit?
Where should I sit, should I sit alone?
So, um, I loved my art teacher and she
had like open uh, art room during lunch.
So I started sitting in there and that's
how I spent the remainder of my lunchtime.
And I've never once
regretted that decision.
I never once looked back and thought to
myself sitting alone, eating in the art
room, oh, I wish I, I hadn't done that.
I wish I had kept those
friends because I knew.
Every fiber of my being that those
were not people that I wanted
to surround myself with anymore.
I had seen them for who they are,
and it was more worth it for me to
be a loner for a little while than
to continue to associate myself with
people who treat other people that way.
And that has always been my conviction.
But then as a young girl.
I carried insecurity around it.
I carried fear around it.
You know, and I continued to make
these decisions throughout my life.
And as I've gotten older and older,
and now here we are in 2026 and the
world feels like it's on fire, and
I continue to put myself out there
for people who don't have a voice.
And yes, it can still be scary, and
yes, it can still be uncomfortable,
but I am no longer hiding.
I no longer allow myself to feel right.
Any of the shame tied to it because
I know that it is my choice to allow
other people to make me feel that
way, and I no longer choose that.
I no longer give people that power.
That is my choice.
That is our choice.
The difference now is I'm not making
a decision and hiding anymore.
I am not remotely ashamed.
I'm standing fully in my freedom
and I invite you to do the same.
And again, we talked last week about
how everybody has different capacities.
Everybody has different responsibilities
and different nervous systems, and
it doesn't mean that you have to.
Shout your convictions loudly from the
rooftop, whatever it looks like for you.
I just want you to know that you
have a choice to stand by them
in your freedom, or you have a
choice to stand by them in shame.
And as we get older, I think
all of us find more and more
freedom within ourselves.
All of us find more
confidence within ourselves.
Every woman that I've talked to
that's also turned 40 is like,
this is fucking awesome because
I just feel, I feel so good.
I'm no longer worried about everybody
and everything around me and what
other people are thinking and doing.
And we start really living for ourselves.
Best thing in the world.
It's the best feeling when you
really come into that place,
but it still can be so scary.
I truly believe that if we're coming
from a place of love and integrity,
even when it's uncomfortable.
Then we know our moral compass is
pointing in the right direction.
In the last year, I've spoken at city
commission meetings and at protests
and put myself out there in many ways.
And on a bigger scale than I
ever have in my entire life.
It makes that moment in high
school feel like peanuts.
When I think about just the vulnerability
of some of the moments of this
last year, but I've never wavered.
And
. As we talked about last week
. This kind of activism
is not the only path.
Sometimes silence in
public is self-protection.
It's not apathy, so doing what we can
do at home and in our circles and with
our families and with our children
and our friends is so important.
So remember that.
Honor that.
But whatever your convictions
are, if they are rooted in love.
Don't ever be ashamed of them or feel
bad for them or give anybody else
permission to make you feel any other way.
Because we have that choice, we
can choose to allow other people to
affect us, and for so long in my life.
I did for so long, and I'm
definitely a people pleaser.
I definitely, my husband will tell
you this, you know, I've gotten to
a point where even though I am in
my freedom, I always say I really
don't care what other people think.
And that's true for the most part.
Unless, of course, it's people
that I really care about.
And sometimes you still find out,
no matter how good of friends
you are with somebody or how long
you think you've known somebody,
they can still disappoint you.
And that's life, right?
So.
Once in a blue moon, you'll do something
and you'll find out that maybe somebody
you thought loved you unconditionally
questions your decisions, even if they're
decisions that you feel convicted on
and you know are right, and then you
have to take a step back and you have
to examine those relationships because
if everybody that's in your inner
circle is not rooting for you 100%.
Then you have to ask the question why.
And usually it has something more
to do with them than it has to do
with you, and that's another lesson
I think we learn as we get older.
My story is not an instruction manual.
I do not have it all figured out.
It's an invitation to check
in with your own convictions.
I still get messages from that
boy in high school from time to
time on Facebook just saying hi.
And it always makes me smile because
I know that he'll always remember
me and remember that moment.
And that is so much more
important than sitting with
the cool kids in the cafeteria.
No comparison
and those little moments, those
little messages remind me always that
my convictions are true and right,
and that I will continue to carry on
and I will continue to choose love
and I will continue to make choices
knowing there are consequences.
But remembering that by deciding
which consequences we're willing to
live with, that's a form of power.
That is your power.
Own it
so you don't have to be loud,
you don't have to be visible.
But I do think we have to be honest
with ourselves and ask ourselves
what do we stand for and be brave
enough to live in alignment with
it, whatever that looks like for us.
So go out into the world day
by day, choice by choice.
Continue showing up, choose love.
Stand by your convictions, and don't
give permission to anybody else
to make you feel any sort of way,
And just a reminder.
If you're enjoying this, please
like and share, give us a comment.
If you're on YouTube, you can also hit
that little bell button so you get the
notification to never miss an episode.
And you're, if you're listening in the
podcast world, you can like and rate.
I really appreciate you tuning in
and joining along for the ride.
Don't forget, if you ever have
any questions or comments, uh,
feel free to send them my way
behind the blonde kw on Instagram.
You can message me there.
You know, I'll leave you with this.
I think each and every one of us
at some point has felt isolated in
our life, and it never feels good.
I mean, it doesn't, who
wants to be left out?
Who wants to be made to feel alone
or not accepted, or, you know,
not included?
It doesn't feel good.
But the most important thing is
that we can go home at the end
of the day and we can look in the
mirror and we can like who we see.
We get to choose love or hate.
We get to choose to be
brave or live in fear.
So continue choosing,
and as always, thanks for
listening to Behind the Blonde.