Come in 81 Kilo: A Forever Knight Podcast

Jeanette is back! And she's got BIG news and bone to pick with a local man who she promptly murders then leans on Nick and Natalie to help her finish her quest for revenge before she turns herself in! Learn how our favorite vampiress returned and ditched her leather for denim in this weeks exciting new episode!


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There's more from the Strange and Beautiful Network!

Listen to Rachel, Kate, and Hannah discuss spicy books, serious books, and everything in between (but mostly spicy!). It's like sitting down with girl friends to chat about hot book boyfriends but in podcast format! Listen now at Feast, Sheath, Shatter: A Book Chat Podcast

Love Movies, TV Shows and Books in the Fantasy, Scifi, and Horror genre and want to hear more? Check us out at The Strange and Beautiful Book Club where Rachel and her husband Matt discuss all things genre-related.

Longing for a simpler time in the police procedural genre AND love Vampires? Matt and Rachel also review the classic television show Forever Knight on their podcast, Come in 81 Kilo.

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What is Come in 81 Kilo: A Forever Knight Podcast?

Super Fan Rachel and First Time Watcher Matt make their way episode by episode through the groundbreaking 1990's Canadian vampire cop television show, Forever Knight.

Episode Quo:

I just got the test results. What caused Jeanette to become mortal was the massive dose of beta blockers and norepinephrine caused by her emotional trauma. It means that we've been doing the right thing all along, and I've got proof positive. Nick, we're going to have a baby.

Matt:

Give me 2 shots of cocaine. Sorry. Give me said that.

Rachel:

You were

Matt:

still there.

Matt:

It again.

Rachel:

You'll be ready. Hi. I'm Rachel.

Matt:

And I'm Matt. And this

Rachel:

is Come in 81 kilo.

Matt:

A forever night podcast.

Rachel:

Okay. We're back. Welcome back, friends. It's time for another episode, a Forever Knight episode, Forever Knight season 3 episode 16, human factor.

Matt:

In which I called all the plot twists.

Rachel:

You did. But I just wanna take a moment, and I need everyone to say thank you, Rachel, for literally keeping this a secret for, like, a year and a half.

Matt:

I was completely convinced that Jeannette was gone, that Deborah was gone.

Rachel:

Yeah.

Matt:

And because Rachel had told me, and I trust Rachel.

Rachel:

Yeah. Hashtag spoiler for

Matt:

your life. Neither Jeanette or John Caplos were in any more of season 3.

Rachel:

I would argue this isn't exactly Jeanette. This is

Matt:

Jeanette like This is Janet, not Jeanette.

Rachel:

This is absolutely Janet. She doesn't even have her French accent anymore.

Matt:

Every once in a while, it comes out.

Rachel:

Yeah. When she says Nicolas, and then she just dumps it because she's like, fuck you. You guys fired me from this show. You get it you get what you get.

Matt:

And the the soccer mom outfit and makeup.

Rachel:

I know. I love how soon as she's human, she's like, I I must give up the leather. I cannot wear leather ever again. I used to wear a leather dress and a leather jacket with a leather cape over top of

Matt:

it. Is the first time I've seen her in a nonstructured top.

Rachel:

I know. You should guess she's human right off the bat because she wears a denim jacket, like a floral skirt. Yeah. Yeah. This is the it's not not a glow down.

Rachel:

She doesn't look terrible like this, but it's definitely the mom version of Jeanette. Yeah. Yeah. Janet. So if you don't know, this is the episode with the guest star, special guest star, Deborah Duchene as Janet.

Rachel:

Jeanette. Jeanette. Where she falls in love with a guy named Bob and becomes human. So I'm just really excited. Matt Matt, actually, he did call every single thing.

Rachel:

He was like, too bad she's gonna get turned into a vampire. I was like, son of a bitch. I was like,

Matt:

I was like, oh, interesting that she's human now.

Rachel:

I was like, no. What? No. It's not. That's not what happens.

Matt:

And then I I held it in. I knew it was coming.

Rachel:

Yeah. It's the denim fucking denim jacket. They should've let her be Jeanette even if it was, like, putting back on a costume.

Matt:

But then right before I knew she was gonna get turned back into a vampire

Rachel:

Yeah. I was

Matt:

like, it's too bad Nick's gonna have to turn her back into a vampire.

Matt:

And she's like, no. Fell over on the couch.

Rachel:

Can I just say, I am I am here for the second half of season 3? I honestly, I think we've mentioned it, like, 17 times, maybe 18. I didn't watch these in order ever before. Before. And so now I'm watching them in order, and I didn't realize that all the fuck it.

Rachel:

I think I'll just be a vampire again episodes are in the second half of season 3.

Rachel:

At which you said they found out the show was gonna be canceled. When they found out it was canceled, but stylistically, there's a huge 180 right about

Rachel:

episode, like, 10 or 12. Yeah. Yeah. And that, to me, says, oh, we probably are.

Matt:

Need to perform for the exec bros.

Rachel:

We're not dancing monkeys anymore. So bye bye, vampire dog. Hello, AIDS. Okay? Like, we're we're just because you think about how we started out this season with, like, vampire dog and a couple of the other slightly more ridiculous episodes of Forever Night as a whole.

Rachel:

And then by the second half of season 3, it is heavy as fuck. And we have done away with the Nick wants to be human. It's kinda like, well, that'd be nice. But in the meantime, I kinda think I'm just gonna be me.

Matt:

And we've completely abandoned the Tracy Vashon romance arc.

Rachel:

We haven't seen Vachon since Fever. Maybe he's

Matt:

Four episodes, I think.

Rachel:

He's been recovering. Fever was episode 13, so we haven't seen him in 3 episodes. And then we don't see him in the next episode either. Yeah. Yeah.

Rachel:

We haven't seen Erz in, like, forever. Like, it was like the beginning was like, okay, guys. We're gonna have like, here's your the focus groups want more young characters. Here you go. And then by the second half, they were like, fuck the focus groups.

Rachel:

We're gonna do whatever the shit we want. And I'm here for it. I'm here for it. Even Tracy gets a glow up. Tracy actually gets to be, like, a character.

Matt:

Yeah. Like With she has emotions and

Rachel:

and emotions and

Matt:

Backstory?

Rachel:

Yeah. Tons of back backstory that makes sense. It doesn't it's not like the sunny, like, oh, I have an uncle. He's dying. He's dying.

Rachel:

Who? Next episode. Oh, how's Sunny doing? Who? Who's Sunny?

Rachel:

I forgot. I don't remember. It's it's more of a it's good. Like, it's good. The second half is so good, and I didn't realize they were all grouped up like that.

Rachel:

I feel like maybe we should have hit the ground running at the beginning of season 3. You might have actually gotten to season 4 instead of vampire dog. Of course, somebody's gonna watch vampire dog, and then they're like, wow. This is not what I mean, if you're a vampire fan, you turn on forever night, and it's a golden retriever who's better at turning people into vampires than Nick is. You're like, oh, is this a comedy?

Rachel:

I don't understand. And then you don't come back and watch it again. But if you come and you watch the human factor, which is, like, Nick is operating outside the law Mhmm. In this episode and the next episode

Matt:

Right. Things are getting a lot more serious than usual.

Rachel:

Yeah. I mean, we've had quite a few where he's gone rogue and just done what he wants to do, and that he's being very vampire y in all of them. And this is

Matt:

It was it was the the loss of progress from the demon possession.

Rachel:

Is that what it was?

Matt:

That's why he's more vampire y now.

Rachel:

Yeah. And then the night in question where he lost a bunch of his memories and maybe didn't get them all back. We don't know. Alright. So let's start this episode.

Rachel:

We start with a man in his boxers.

Matt:

It's a it's a good look.

Rachel:

It's a look. I paused it.

Matt:

It's a look.

Rachel:

I paused it because I went to get a drink and I was like, wow. That's a that's a look. Just like lounging on it.

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

I don't know. I love how, Garrett Winn Davies is literally the most clothed person I've ever seen ever, and yet every time there's any kind of a guest star, they're like, would you like to just wear boxers? And he's like, yeah. You want me to eat snacks while I do it? And they're like, fuck yes.

Rachel:

And I wish this television show would get an HD upgrade. I'm just gonna put that out to the universe. We can't get a reboot. Can we at least get a Blu ray? But, honestly, I thought he was eating snackies and holding a block of cheese, but I actually think that this it's an envelope.

Rachel:

But when you first see it, it looks like he's holding, like, a block of cheddar.

Matt:

Yeah. He's holding this little Manila envelope, like, face onto the camera.

Rachel:

Yeah.

Matt:

And when he sits up, he turns it sideways. Oh, okay. It's an envelope, but there's something in there. But, yes, it does look like a block of cheddar cheese Yeah. Without the wrapper on.

Rachel:

Wow. I mean, Matt has literally done that. So

Matt:

It's not it's not an impossible.

Matt:

Not unreasonable.

Rachel:

I was like, oh, he's eating a block of cheese. Oh, okay. And he's got, like, the most psychopath way you can eat out of a bag of chips. It's like ripped down the middle in the back so he can just stick his hand in the top. That's how you know he's a bad guy.

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

Nobody eats chips like that. And he ends up yelling into the bathroom for whoever's in there to hurry up and you see steam coming out of the bathroom. I don't know. Maybe if that Sean's in there. That would have been better twist, but it's not.

Matt:

Oh, yeah. I just hypnotized the guy into thinking it's a woman.

Rachel:

And then there's a knock at the door, and he walks over. And he opens the door, and he goes, what the hell? And then a woman starts speaking French to him. And then And

Matt:

I thought, oh, that sounds like Jennette, but she's not in the show anymore. Yeah. Aw. And then we saw a silhouette through the window, and it's like, oh, that kinda looked like Jennette, but oh, well. Yeah.

Matt:

What a coincidence.

Rachel:

And then the credits ruined it. They were, like, guest starring Deborah Duchene, and Matt goes, it was Jeanette. And I was like, what? No. What?

Rachel:

No. Yes. Absolutely. Yes. And then she shoots him.

Rachel:

So pew pew. And then goes through his briefcase and doesn't find what she needs. So she takes the key out of the envelope that's on the bed next to his body. So good thing he didn't have the stash anywhere. He was literally watching TV, eating snacks, clutching the envelope with the key piece of evidence in it.

Rachel:

Yeah. While waiting for the woman in the bathroom to get out so they could apparently do something about his boxer shorts. I don't know. I don't know if this is post coital or pre coital. If she was like, wow.

Rachel:

I feel dirty. I think I'm gonna take a shower. Or if it was like, honey, wash up before we do this. And so the woman then comes out of the bathroom and sees him dead. And she looks up at the window, and the person who shot him is in the window and then runs off.

Rachel:

And then we go to the intro. Bottom. Bottom. That's the setup. If this guy dies, his key gets stolen.

Rachel:

We witness a moment of seeing this woman and then off. And then we come back and it's the crime scene. And we actually start with them holding up this badge that says arson squad.

Matt:

Mhmm.

Rachel:

And this guy's name is La Roche.

Matt:

La Roche.

Rachel:

La Roche. I forgot his first name.

Matt:

From from Quebec.

Rachel:

From Montreal.

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

Yeah. And they're like the lady sitting there, she's like, I don't know. We felt the connection. We decided we would take a chance. It was just a one night stand.

Rachel:

I don't know what to tell you guys. He was here from Montreal for the night. He was not immediately repulsive, so I figured I could probably hit it and quit it. And here we are, a witness to his murder. I don't know what to tell you.

Rachel:

And, yeah, then the guest credits spoiled Jeanette's return.

Matt:

Mhmm.

Rachel:

And the lady, they're like, well, can you give us a statement? And she's like, I mean, sure. Yeah. I'll go down, but can I get dressed first? And they're like

Matt:

Fair.

Rachel:

Nick is like, yes.

Matt:

Do you really need to?

Rachel:

I mean, that's fine if you want to. And then Tracy goes, memo to Tracy. It's rough out there in dating land.

Episode Quote:

Can I get dressed first?

Matt:

Oh, I know.

Rachel:

Memo to Tracy. It's a jungle out there in date lands. I mean, yes. Yes then. Yes now.

Rachel:

Memo to everybody. Okay. Yes, Tracy. This wasn't even really dating land. This was, like, go to a bar and pick the least worst thing in the bar.

Matt:

Well, that is a style of dating.

Rachel:

I guess. Yeah.

Matt:

And if it works out Yeah. Then you know you're at least sexually sexually compatible.

Rachel:

Right.

Matt:

And maybe maybe you, have some more dates and

Rachel:

I wonder if he was gonna hold the key through the whole thing.

Matt:

Obviously.

Rachel:

Honey, can you put that down?

Matt:

No. No. It it's part of what turns me on.

Rachel:

It's my key. I call

Matt:

it the key. The key to the money.

Rachel:

The key to my money. Oh, is that a euphemism? No.

Matt:

Oh, yeah. I guess if he's just here with, like, a woman he picked up at the bar Yeah. Why is he flaunting this key?

Rachel:

Exactly. Exactly. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. Why was he just clutching this envelope?

Rachel:

But whatever. And I love how we've boiled Natalie's role down at crime scenes to just walk up to Natalie next to the body. She announces the cause of death and then leaves. So she goes, it was a small you know, Nick walks over to the body. Natalie's standing there as she just stands next to everybody, and she goes, it was a small caliber, couple of shots.

Rachel:

He either knew his killer or she was really fast. I have now given you all of the information

Matt:

poor Kathy. Although, she does get some more She

Rachel:

gets some stuff right

Matt:

here. More serious conversations later. She's She's in

Rachel:

a new television show. Somebody messaged me and sent me a picture of her. She's in, like, Law and Order Toronto.

Matt:

Oh, nice.

Rachel:

Yeah. Toronto. As, I guess, the the asshole lawyer that always steps in and keeps them from being able to do their job. And I'm like, oh, I'm so happy for her. Like, I know she, I love seeing her get roles that aren't, I'm the quirky grandmother who's so silly, or the, I'm literally here just to provide you enough information to move the plot forward.

Rachel:

I like it when she gets to be, like, sassy and funny or mean or whatever. Just to to be different.

Matt:

Yeah. I could see her as a good, like, charismatic asshole

Rachel:

Yeah.

Matt:

Who thinks they're doing their job right because everyone else is just cowboy

Rachel:

in it. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We kinda leave the crime scene, and we get some montage time with the claw podcasting about how winter is the bleakest season.

LaCroix:

Baron, bleak. Winter is the kindest season. The heart will not melt in winter. Chilled by the cold, we are spared the grief, the sorrow, the messy emotion of life. Winter is solace for the lonely.

LaCroix:

Its cool touch soothes the tattered heart.

Rachel:

The heart will not melt in winter.

Matt:

Get Jeanette listening to it.

Rachel:

Yeah. Yeah. She's listening to it with Patrick in the car. So she's got a child in the car listening to Lacroix, and Lacroix is like, oh, the

Matt:

So after the intro, we're in the we're in the crime scene, and I connected the dots. Oh. Yeah. Jeanette is human now. Okay.

Matt:

So when we got here, I think, oh, she's, like, reminiscing Yeah. About about her vampire her lost vampire ness or her former vampire ness.

Rachel:

Yeah.

Matt:

But what is she doing here? I knew she couldn't be a vampire anymore because she Jeanette, the vampire sorry. Jeanette would never use a gun. Yeah. She would have used her hands or her teeth.

Matt:

Yeah. But Janet would use a gun Yeah. Because that's all she has. So so this guy had something she wanted, so she had to follow him here to get it. And she has a kid with her.

Matt:

Okay.

Rachel:

She has Galen Wyndavies with her. Hello, baby Galen. This is Nick. Not Nick.

Matt:

That's Clyde Harris.

Rachel:

Child. Child. His son. His son, Galen, plays Patrick. And it is if you go on IMDB, he has 2 credits, and it's for this.

Rachel:

And then there's, like, a makeup a makeup guy on the 2016 Blair Witch Project, and that's it. So he's gone on and done other stuff. He did not become an actor, but you have to imagine Nick goddamn it. Gar was like, I I know a boy, like, who could be in this. And they were like, alright.

Rachel:

Fine.

Matt:

You need a small boy who has permission to film at night.

Rachel:

Yeah. Okay. I grant him permission. Okay. Great.

Rachel:

So, oh, he's so cute. He tries so hard. It must have been so I mean, I know how my daughter feels every time I have a job and she gets to go, like, behind the counter or, you know, back in the work area or whatever. It's like, oh, I'm the I have special privileges.

Matt:

I could tell this boy was having fun Yeah. Just being on set because later, there's a scene where he goes to fetch the photo

Episode Quo:

Yeah.

Matt:

And he just, like, bounces up the stairs, like, very jauntily.

Matt:

Yeah. It's like, oh, this

Matt:

is not a child who has just been woken out of sleep.

Rachel:

No. No. Although, our daughter would probably be like that.

Matt:

Yeah. Yeah.

Rachel:

Yeah. So anyway, she's listening to the nightcrawler while this child is in the car with her, which that's bad momming. Sorry, Jeanette. That's not don't do that. I've never let my kids listen to the existentialist dread podcaster, and he's like, oh, winter, chilled by the cold.

Rachel:

Winter is the solace for the lonely. And she's I wonder if he's only local or if she can get him in Montreal.

Matt:

It's probably just local. They'd have to have, like, a repeater situation set up.

Rachel:

And then we get a flashback.

Matt:

This is pre Internet radio.

Rachel:

So she hasn't even heard his voice in however long it is since she left.

Matt:

Like a year.

Rachel:

Like a year. And we get a flashback to Jennette selling the club to Lacroix, and she actually gets to be Jeanette. Like, she gets her hair coiffed, and she gets, like, dramatic makeup. And she's actually not selling him the club. She's just handing him the deed.

Rachel:

Yeah. And she goes, it has sheltered me and allowed me to shelter others to be a mother to strays. And Lacroix goes, ah, yes. We must compare parenting notes about parenting strays sometimes. It's not the same thing, Laclage.

Rachel:

She's trying to provide a haven for people that don't feel like they have anywhere else to go. You literally won't let Nick go. It's not the same thing. He is the kind of stray I would shelter from you, sir. But she ends up giving the raven to Lacroix because she's leaving, And she's like, I'm gonna tell you why, but and then we cut back to the present.

Rachel:

So we don't know why she gave because we at this point, you know, 16 episodes after she disappeared, we still don't know why she left except it was time to move on.

Matt:

It's because the executives thought she wasn't pretty enough.

Rachel:

The fucking audacity.

Matt:

Right.

Rachel:

The audacity. Honestly, I can't I can't even with that. So then we cut back to the present where there is a child named Patrick in the car, which we already covered, and she goes, how would you like to go see aunt Peggy? And he's like, oh, yeah. Sure.

Rachel:

Sure, aunt Peggy. It's gotta be better it's gotta be better than being in this cold ass car all day.

Matt:

And listening to this And, Nihilistic monologueer.

Rachel:

Mom Janet, you forgot to feed me again. She's, like, goddamn it. I've only been a human for, like, a week. This is truly hard work. How often do you need to eat?

Rachel:

Once a week, twice a week? What are we

Matt:

working with here? It was fading, and the vampire the vampire lingered.

Rachel:

Yeah.

Matt:

Right? But it finally left her when she killed LaRoche.

Rachel:

Well, her So she's instinct left her when she killed LaRoche. LaRouche.

Matt:

Oh, okay.

Rachel:

Yeah. Not not her being a vampire, just her desire to kill people.

Matt:

Okay.

Rachel:

Yeah. That was her last, like, woo hoo. I need to kill this man. Oh, now I'm done with that now. And then we come back to a lady at the station and she's working with a sketch artist.

Rachel:

But it's not a sketch artist. It's a computer. It's like a computer composite program. And it every time I That's

Matt:

interesting.

Rachel:

Every time I see this, it reminds me of the, Makeover song from Earth Girls Are Easy. Where they're like, let's give you blue eyes, and it's like, boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop boop. And it, like, changes her eyes to blue. And then it's like, how about we go blah? And then it's like, do do do

Matt:

do do do do do do do.

LaCroix:

And it

Rachel:

changes her That's exactly what this looks like. Yeah. And so she's like, oh, I don't know. The eyes aren't right. The mouth the whatever.

Rachel:

They're just swapping out these whatever computer generated images to create a composite that looks like a photograph because we're using parts of actual photographs to make it. And we find out that the guy who was killed was Mario LaRouche Mario LaRouche. And he was booked off according to his employer, who is the, like, arson squad in Montreal. And Nick is like, okay. So he chose to come to a cheap hotel in Toronto?

Rachel:

I mean, come on, Nick. Not everybody's a billionaire. We can't all just, like, go stay in

Matt:

the penthouse. His idea of a vacation.

Rachel:

Yeah. Maybe that's all he wanted. Maybe he was here to see the sites and, staying in a bra in light a cheap hotel was all he could afford. Judgey, McJugerson. And they finished making the sketch at which looks, by the way, absolutely nothing like Tibet.

Matt:

If you squint a little bit. It's on a CRT screen. It might have looked like Jeanette. No. No.

Rachel:

It wouldn't. And Nick is like, oh, shit. That's a Jeanette. Well, okay, Nick. I think you're just seeing Jeanette everywhere, because he's probably horny.

Rachel:

He doesn't have anybody, and he doesn't have his, like, Thursday night date anymore. She just left him.

Matt:

Oh, maybe that's why he's more vampire y.

Rachel:

Yeah. But he spots her. Like, he sees the picture, and immediately, we get the flashback to his, like, when he got changed into a vampire, and she was there. And I was like, oh, is this for people that haven't watched season, like, season 1 and 2? You wouldn't know who Jennette was.

Rachel:

Yeah. So this is like an establishing oh, it's his vampire sister, wife, lover

Matt:

Thing.

Rachel:

Thing. So, by the way, this is who she is. Congratulations. We got a flashback for that. And we don't get context for it.

Rachel:

We just get him, like, yeah, Jennette. Like, eating her her hand. And then Lacroix, we go see Lacroix, because Nick is like, oh, shit. That's Jeanette. I must go talk to Lacroix about it.

Rachel:

So he goes to Lacroix. And I just wanna point out Lacroix is wearing this, like, red velvet button up shirt, which is unlike the couple the top couple buttons are unbuttoned. And I didn't know I would like a man in red velvet, but it turns out I do.

Matt:

Alright. Red velvet shirt.

Rachel:

And this show giveth and this show taketh away. That's all I'm gonna say. And you know, it's really funny because when I was younger, like, Lacroix was like, ew, he's the old guy. Like, you know, whatever. I don't whatever.

Rachel:

You know, not not as interested in Nigel Bennett as I would have been in, Garrett Wendavies. And certainly, Garrett Wendavies still has his appeal, but as an older woman now, I'm like, well, I get it, Nigel. I get it. I'm I'm here for all of this, and Nick is asking about Jeanette. And Laquise is like, Jeanette.

Rachel:

Jeanette. Jeanette. Yeah. I think I did we know

Matt:

a Jennette? I'm supposed to keep this a secret.

Rachel:

Yeah. He's he's really trying to I mean, he's a good liar. He's a good liar.

Matt:

Oh, yeah. So Yeah.

Rachel:

He he's like, well, no. If Jennette was in town, I would have sensed her, and so would you. And come on, Jeanette's not gonna shoot somebody. Would it that that'd be the most plebeian way to kill. Like like, it's the worst possible thing that could happen.

Rachel:

Ew. She shot somebody?

Matt:

I raised her better than that.

Rachel:

She should've killed him with her fucking teeth. And Lacroix ends up having a flashback, and it's the same flashback to when he got the club. And she says she's starting to doubt herself, and that's why she's leaving, because she's starting to question who and what she is. And he's like, fucking Nicholas. And she goes, I actually have been fucking Nicholas, but that is not the problem.

Matt:

I'm claiming that's unrelated.

Rachel:

Yeah. She goes, I like what I am and I don't want that to change, but I don't wanna end up like Nick. I don't wanna end up questioning, like, all of my choices over the last 8 centuries. Like, we keep saying 8 centuries. She's 2 centuries older than Nick is.

LaCroix:

Yeah.

Rachel:

We couldn't even fucking remember how old Jeanette was.

LaCroix:

Bleh.

Rachel:

Y'all get it together. And she just said she needs some distance. Needs some distance. I mean, that's fair. He's toxic and she's trying to put some space.

Rachel:

She's trying to get some space. And LaCroix is like, cool. You go. I also don't want you to become Nick. I have my hands full already.

Rachel:

And Jeanette says, Nick can't know. Like, you can't tell him that I'm leaving because of that because he's gonna find me and he's gonna convince me to join his crusade. No. I'm just kidding. Because, he carries too much already.

Rachel:

Like, he already questions himself. He already has enough guilt about literally everything that happens in his life. I don't need him to add this to the pile. And then she tells LaCroix, be sure there will always be a place for strays here. And he's like, well, you just gave me the deed, and you didn't ask me that before you gave me the deed.

Rachel:

So I don't know. Maybe she It's

LaCroix:

not binding.

Rachel:

You know what? It she has a very different relationship with LaCroix than Nick does. So there may be a reason for her to believe that LaCroix will do what she asks. Yeah. She certainly assumes he will.

Rachel:

So I don't know. Maybe he always does. Maybe that's why Urs and Vashon are there.

Matt:

Oh, Estrays. Estrays. Yeah. Yeah. That's possible.

Rachel:

And Lacroix comes back from the flashback. He must have just drifted off, and Nick is like, oh, okay. I'm just gonna give him 30 seconds.

Matt:

I'm familiar with this.

Rachel:

So just kinda okay. And

Matt:

he's what it looks like from the outside.

Rachel:

Oh, he's back. Okay. And she he goes, she didn't tell you why? And Lacroix goes, I never asked.

Matt:

He's telling the truth.

Rachel:

Yeah. He did not ask. She volunteered that information. Technically correct is the best kind of correct.

Matt:

Yes. Lacroix, rule number 17 for life.

Rachel:

Technically correct is the best kind of correct. And Nick leaves. He's like, I'm pretty sure you lied to me, but I also know that my chances of getting the truth from you are, 0 to negative 10. So you will double down on your lying and then forget you said anything at all, so I'm leaving. So Nick leaves to go drive around on wet streets for a while, Just morosely.

Rachel:

Think about life. And then we get this weird ass LaCroix transition. I don't know what's happening here, but he is podcasting in his little podcasting studio, which I told you was a giant window, and looks out on the studio

LaCroix:

Yeah.

Rachel:

Or on the club, which means everybody can see Lacroix sitting there talking into a microphone while they're at the club.

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

Yeah. And we transition between him sitting in the booth and then him outside in the Raven, but he's, like, right up next to the camera.

Matt:

So this is like LaCroix doing, like, a selfie video.

Rachel:

Yes. He's vlogging.

Matt:

While while floating around the club.

Rachel:

They're like, what's he doing? Just let him do it. And it and there's no cell phone, which means he's holding a whole ass camera in his hand and has it turned towards himself.

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

Like, oh, I'm still gonna put this on the Internet later. Well, he is in that forum with all of the serial players. Remember? He's rosebud, so he has an online presence.

Matt:

He's a he's a pioneer of Internet content generation.

Rachel:

Yeah. He is. He's a podcaster. He's a video blogger. He's a what would you expect from the world's oldest troll?

Rachel:

Except to always keep up with the medium best suited to trolling.

Matt:

Yeah. Yeah. Absolutely.

Rachel:

Oh, Nick won't come to me. I shall troll him over the airwaves. Oh, Nick won't come to me. I shall videotape myself chastising him and put it up on the Internet. But I'm never gonna specifically mention that it's about him.

Rachel:

So people will feel like it applies to them. So really will they'll feel a personal connection. I think that Lacroix would love every parasocial connection that he's ever made with anybody.

Matt:

Absolutely.

Rachel:

Yeah. Oh, you think I'm actually your daddy?

Matt:

Well, come on over.

Rachel:

Well, come on over. I have a surprise. It's death. The surprise is death. I mean, yeah.

Rachel:

He is the world's oldest troll. That makes absolute sense. But what he's vlogging about is he's continuing his winter rant about how, she's left to be forsaken and alone and face the chill of winter alone. Because he's like, Jeanette is alone. She's lonely.

Rachel:

She's frigid. She's frosty. It's winter. I mean, come on. Okay.

Rachel:

We get it. Alright. She's, like, cold and lonely and she left because she wanted to remain cold and lonely and she wasn't feeling it anymore. And then we see Jeanette, and she's sitting in this car still listening to LaCroix. And she ends up getting shot, like, the car gets shot up in a drive by.

Rachel:

And then we cut to Nick arriving back at his house, which I always love. The scenes of him coming back to his house at dawn, when he's got his little sunglasses on.

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

Which they're the same sunglasses, and we keep nothing consistent. And yet, he's been wearing the same sunglasses for, 1992 to 96. So, like, 4 to 5 years, he's kept the same sunglasses, and I fucking love it. But he arrives at his house, and he closes the blinds, and he's wearing his, like, black shirt, black trench coat combination, and he's looking particularly vampirish in this moment. And he, once again takes a moment to remember when he was making out hardcore with Jeanette after he got turned into a vampire.

Rachel:

He's like, that's not an unpleasant memory. And then, surprise, she's standing right behind him. And this is when she's wearing the jean jacket which she has tied at the waist, like, where you take the bottom lapels and tie them in front of you and a floor length floral skirt. So she has fully metamorphosized into Janet, the housewife.

Matt:

The soccer mom.

Rachel:

The soccer mom. There's nothing wrong with that. I am technically a housewife. I work for the podcast, and I work at home, and I homeschool. And I'm like, every single crunchy mom checked the box, except I cuss a lot, and I talk about vampires on the Internet.

Rachel:

But so there's no shame. I also dress like that. I'm wearing sweatpants that have Care Bears on them right now, and, oh, my Nightcrawler shirt. My, like How

Matt:

about that?

Rachel:

Yeah. My CER case merch shirt and my four XL sweater that I got on clearance from Walmart. So I literally do not have a platform here. I just There's

Matt:

no judgment.

Rachel:

There's no judgment here. It's just hysterical that we went from

Matt:

It's the contrast.

Rachel:

We went from season 1, Jeanette, who was like sex on a stick. Okay. It was stringy, well fitted, like, custom made garments with, like, stellar hair and makeup and that bisexual lighting in the Raven where she was hiding behind chains all the time. She was like a goth icon, okay, in season 1. Season 2, they were like, maybe she started getting perms.

Rachel:

I don't know. Like, it's just the The

Matt:

death cloud?

Rachel:

Yeah. The death cloud, which was fine. She still looked like Jennette, but she looked like a maybe Jennette got a different stylist who hasn't quite figured her hair out yet.

LaCroix:

Yeah.

Rachel:

And then to have her

LaCroix:

come back

Matt:

A little bit less fuck me energy

Rachel:

She looks like she looked incuriouser and curiouser when she's the wife that he keeps leaving at home Mhmm. So he can go fuck badly. Yeah. And that's hysterical. It's just like, why didn't we I don't know.

Rachel:

Because it's like she was fundamentally changed by Bob. So now she can't his name they she never calls him Bob, but I think it's hysterical that she falls in love with a guy named Robert more than Nick will ever know, apparently. But, anyway, here's Janet. She's shown up wearing her outfit, And then she walks over to talk to him, and we get the spin filming where we spin around them as they're talking, which we used to do every time they made out. And now But now

Matt:

they're just talking.

Rachel:

Their reunion. And it's kinda sad because I miss when this used to be them making out. Like, I miss the heavy fuck me energy from season 1.

Matt:

Oh, yeah.

Rachel:

He felt like the, like, hot, like, sexy vampire in season 1. And at this point, he's, like, sad, mature vampire, and it's fine. I like all iterations, but sometimes I'm like, no. I miss the raw, like, rawness, I guess, of season 1. But he's like, Jeanette, I just got a case about a murder.

Rachel:

And it's about a guy from Montreal who got shot in a in a hotel room, and she's like, yep. That was me. I I cute him. Oh oh, I get where you're going with that. I did it.

Rachel:

And she goes, I am aware of the position I put you in by being here, but I need your help. And he's like, you could have just run. She really could have. I mean, it's not like they could trace her fingerprints or anything. She doesn't exist.

Rachel:

It's not like she went to the trouble of having a full identity created. And she goes, no. There is evidence that I must find before whoever shot at me tonight finds it. And he doesn't grab on to the whoever shot at me tonight. He's like evidence?

Rachel:

I love stealing evidence. It's like my favorite thing to do. I can help you with that. So now that she's completely convinced him by telling him he's allowed to steal, fondle, and abscond with evidence, we go back to Tracy at the station. And Reese is like, where's your partner?

Rachel:

Is he not in yet? The sun is actually still up. So, Reese, get it together.

LaCroix:

You can

Matt:

see it coming in the windows.

Rachel:

I mean, I know we haven't disregarded Nick's sun allergy completely lately, so I get it. But also, he does actually have a documented sun allergy. There's, like, a reason he doesn't come in when the sun is up. And Tracy says, okay. Yeah.

Rachel:

But I got a report about a shot up car that was abandoned by the Civic Center, and it was registered to a Montreal arson investigator who was shot and killed a week ago by the name of Robert McDonough. And Reese is like, oh, do you think it's linked? Oh, no. I think 2 random arson investigators from Montreal showed up in this. 1 got murdered, then the other showed up here and was in a skeezy apartment and got murdered, and I don't think these two things are connected.

Rachel:

What the fuck do you think?

Matt:

Why do you think I told you?

Rachel:

Tracy just goes, maybe. Yeah. Maybe. And then we go back to Jeanette and Nick, and this is when Jeanette's waking up because it's night now and they can go out. And she's wearing her button up sweater and her floor length skirt.

Rachel:

Do you think that Deborah Duchene was like, I'll come back, but I'm gonna wear my own clothes?

Matt:

Maybe.

Rachel:

Yeah. Deborah, if you're listening, we all miss you, and everybody wants to know what happened to you. So, you know, drop me a line. Just saying. Okay.

Rachel:

So I I get that we don't get that question a lot, but that's like everybody's question is what happened to Deborah. I mean, I I get it. I get why you would just be done and not stay connected in any way. There's no there's no imperative of connection just because she's in this television show 30 years ago.

Matt:

Right.

Rachel:

But also, like, I don't know. I just hope she's still okay. And Nick is like, well, I'm gonna book off work because you promised me I could steal evidence, and that's what I wanna do. So I'm gonna help you do that. She goes, I mean, yeah, but I did ditch you with no explanation, and I'm kinda sorry.

Rachel:

And Nick is like, did you really intend to never see me again?

LaCroix:

Yeah. I'll book off work. Oh. I said I'd help. Shannette, tell me.

LaCroix:

Did you really intend never to see me again? No explanations.

Episode Quote:

I thought it was best.

LaCroix:

You were wrong.

Rachel:

Like, you were never gonna come back. You were never gonna tell me why you left, and you were never gonna see me again? You ghosted me? She fucking ghosted him, and he's like, why? Why'd you do that?

Rachel:

And she goes, I thought it was best. I just I mean, that's what he was gonna do to Natalie in Black Buddha. He was just gonna disappear.

Matt:

Yeah. And she's like Because he thought it was best.

Rachel:

Yeah. She's like, you were just gonna go. And he's like, well, I kinda thought it'd be the best thing for you. And she's like, you mean for you. It was gonna be the best thing for you, Nick.

Matt:

To be fair to Jeanette, she could she can just ghost him for, like, 50 years

Rachel:

Yeah.

Matt:

And then, like, get a therapist. A vampire therapist Yeah. To, like, re Restore her, more Ruthless qualities. Inhuman perspective so that she can, like, maintain that distance from humanity Right. And sustain it.

Rachel:

I mean, they're gonna run into each other again eventually.

Matt:

And then and then she can come back and Yeah. Give Nick something to sink his teeth into.

Rachel:

When Nick goes, you were wrong. It was not better. I did not like it. I mean, maybe he learned that lesson from Natalie because Natalie was, like, you mean it'd be easier for you. And he's, like, oh, yeah.

Rachel:

I've never thought about that before.

Matt:

Well, this isn't the first time Jeanette's just left him.

Rachel:

Right. Well, usually well, she gets caught. She got caught when she, like, left him in neck ruffle era after they've been married for 80 years, and then he pouted. So I can see why she left because last time he was all, like, mom, I'm really sorry. And he, like, sat in the window and, like, angry pouted and looked out the window.

Matt:

So she she learned some lessons Yeah. And

Rachel:

She was like, I don't

Matt:

wanna the I don't wanna make

Rachel:

the face.

Matt:

If I

Rachel:

tell him he's gonna make the face, is that where am I gonna be? Worse.

Matt:

This is kinda funny. Feel that about it.

Rachel:

I don't wanna see the face. And she goes, oh, Nicola. I left because of you, because your quest for humanity was getting to me, was infecting me.

Matt:

It's contaminated.

Rachel:

And then she walks over and she has this monologue over by the window. She's like, a vampire's heart must be cold. Death is all around us, but we must not let it touch us. But you, after 800 years, could no longer live with your humanity. I would have met I would imagine he didn't want to live without his humanity like a 100 years in, but that's fine.

Rachel:

That's fine. And I began to think, you might be right. 800 years is a long time to have a cold heart. And Nick is like, I could have helped you. And she goes, I didn't wanna be helped.

Rachel:

I liked my immortality. I was afraid of all the suffering that you've gone through. Look at the shit you have gone through. Look at the shit Lacroix has put you through. Look at all of the pain and torment and just shit.

Rachel:

You have dragged yourself through. So I went to Montreal because it's kinda like Paris, but it's not as far as Paris. Oh, still. But it's

Matt:

not as far from family.

Rachel:

Yeah. And I thought I could, you know, revamparize myself. Ala, Love Bites, which is still one of my favorite movies that we've watched. But I fell into the same dilemma I wanted to avoid. And he goes, what do you mean?

Rachel:

And she's like, well, I think we actually need to get going. Oh, Jeanette.

Matt:

You drive.

Rachel:

The t's. And we find out that a Toronto real estate developer was paying LaRouche to set fires, and then he gets to collect, like, $50,000 in cash for every fire he sets, and it's in a locker.

Matt:

Falsifies the report on.

Rachel:

Yeah. And it's in a locker, and she has the key. But, there you go. That's the entire reason why all of this is happening. And Tracy, in the meanwhile, has found out that Robert, the guy who owned the car that got shot, has a sister who lives in Oxbridge.

Rachel:

And he's like, maybe she says, maybe I'll go to the

Matt:

is near Toronto.

Rachel:

It's like a suburb. And she's like, I think I'll go and talk to her, and maybe we can figure out if these two things are connected. Oh, yeah. Good job, Tracy. It turns out when Nick isn't there, Tracy actually does police work for Theo.

Rachel:

And we go back to Jeanette, and Jeanette is saying that, LaRouche framed a, quote, friend of hers, and now she needs to prove his innocence. And Nick is like, okay. So you killed a guy, and now you're gonna find the evidence to clear your friend. How humanitarian of you. Yeah.

Rachel:

That sounds that was exactly the way you should have gone about this, Jeanette. And she goes, Nicola, I don't need your sarcasm. I need your help.

LaCroix:

Such a humanitarian gesture.

Episode Quote:

Nicola, I don't need your sarcasm. I need your help. You're not unaccustomed to taking injustices into your own hands.

Matt:

Alright. Alright.

Rachel:

I love that why. Good life. I don't need any of your shit right now. I need your help, and you aren't unaccustomed to taking justice into your own hands. And he's like, touche.

Rachel:

Yeah. You are correct. I think in the last couple of episodes, at least twice, he's been like, well, I think I can just solve this problem. So I'm just gonna solve this problem. So he doesn't have a leg to stand on when it comes to don't do it.

Rachel:

Don't do what you think is best. Let the law handle this. We go back to Tracy, and Tracy goes to see Robert's sister. And she tells him her love how loosely attached to pronouns I am. And she tells her that Robert's girlfriend, Jeanette de Brabant She kept his name.

Rachel:

She kept his name, is in town his middle name.

Matt:

Nicholas b Knight.

Rachel:

Nicholas b Knight. And that he's in town for she's in town for a few days, and she went to go see her brother. Jeanette is. And so she doesn't know who her brother is, but that she's off visiting him and Patrick might know more. And then we come back to Nick and Jeanette in the car.

Rachel:

And Nick is like, well, you know I have to ask. Like, who's the friend? I'm not jealous or anything, but I just wanna know who's the friend. And Jeanette says, well, his name was Robert McDonough and I was in love with him more than you can possibly imagine. And this hurts for several reasons.

Rachel:

One, it implies that she was never as madly in love with Nick as she was with this dude that she met.

Matt:

This random human.

Rachel:

This random that she met like 6 months ago. Yeah. Just fair, I guess. I don't know. Sometimes you click.

Rachel:

They clicked. Her and Bob, they just hit it off, I guess. And it also implies that no matter how much Nick thinks he might love Natalie, it ain't the same.

Matt:

Well, Jeanette may not know how Nick actually feels about Natalie.

Rachel:

No. She's not implying that. No. The show is implying to us. The show narrative is like, Jennette loved this dude.

Rachel:

She took a chance and had sex with him, and it ended up making her human.

Matt:

Right.

Rachel:

Nick has loved Natalie. Well, we assume, or at least Natalie has loved Nick or some version thereof with affection for the last

Matt:

With affection.

Rachel:

For the last, like, 4 years, however long they've been together at this point. And he has never loved her enough to take the to take a chance on being with her? Yeah. Yeah. Although, how much could Jeanette have loved this guy if she was willing to be with him and then maybe kill him?

Rachel:

Because there was a very real possibility that she was gonna kill him.

Matt:

Right. She has mentioned several times through the series that, she doesn't have the restraint Yeah. To not

Rachel:

She's thirsty.

Matt:

What was it about I think it was about turning.

Rachel:

Yeah. She's she's too much the glutton.

Matt:

And she said she's never done it because she doesn't have enough restraint to stop Yeah. Before the person is completely dead. And so she's literally never been able to stop. And then she's like, oh, man, this guy I love this guy. I'm gonna I'm gonna get with him.

Rachel:

I'm gonna shoot my shot.

Matt:

I'm I'm gonna try it. Yep. I'm gonna try just taking a a nip. Yeah.

Rachel:

And it works. Perfectly willing to accept the risk that he might die. I mean, this is, you know

Matt:

It's very Jeanette.

Rachel:

It's fine. It's very Jeanette. It's very Jeanette. It's not very Janet, but it's very Jeanette. So it's cool.

Rachel:

Like, I don't have a problem with this. I just wanna point out that this narrative is just the tiniest little bit inconsistent. But that's, I mean, it's the show. So Yeah. Cheesy rationalization, here we go.

Rachel:

And so she tells Nick, that Robert had a son, and she cannot allow his son to think that he's a criminal and that she's actually his official guardian. So she's mom Janet.

LaCroix:

Yeah.

Rachel:

Then we come back and Tracy's talking to Patrick. I love how independent Tracy gets to be in this episode and how much of, like, a solid partner she gets to be because she figures out almost immediately that Nick is up to shenanigans, and then she covers for him

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

Without knowing anything about what this is about. So Tracy is talking to Patrick, and Patrick says, Jeanette said they're here to visit her brother, Nicholas. She could have lied. She could have been, like, I'm here to visit my brother,

Matt:

Steve,

Rachel:

and says that he has a picture. And she's like, well, can I see the picture? And so Patrick hops up the stairs happily, Galen being excited to be on the set with his dad, and pulls out a picture that Jeanette gave him. And it's like a glamour shot where Nick is sideways and Jeanette is face on, and I want I'm so confused. I wanna recreate this picture with you so fucking bad.

Rachel:

I think we could manage it. I think we could make this happen. I just need you to, like, stoically turn sideways. I might need you to shave, though, so maybe this isn't the thing I'll we're gonna do soon because you know how I feel about you clean shave, and how our son feels about you clean shaven. Matt threatened to trim his beard and our son was like, no, dad, like, don't don't trim your beard.

Rachel:

And I had to, like, walk him through. I'm only gonna cut the sides, and I'm gonna trim under here, and I'm gonna trim right here. And he's like, well, that's acceptable. You're allowed to do that. And it's like a black and white with Nick in profile and then Jennette straight on.

Rachel:

It's like an album cover. It's like they're about to drop a jazz, like a ska album.

Matt:

They're about to drop

Rachel:

a ska album. That's what it looks like. And then we come back to Nick and Jeanette, and they're at some kind of thing that I probably am supposed to know what it is because I'm probably supposed to know Toronto and landmarks, and I don't know what this is. But this stairwell is really cool, and we end up walking down these stairs. And the camera is at the bottom.

Rachel:

And it's a really cool shot of them coming down the stairs. And while they're walking down, Jeanette is talking about how she met Bob. And it turns out that firefighter Bob barged in and swept her off her feet literally because her house was on fire and he rescued her. And, we know that fire bad, so she was pretty much helpless in that moment and he saved her life. And then she says, I envied his courage, his selflessness, the same thing that I mocked you relentlessly for for years.

Rachel:

You know how you could have just done nothing and fucked around and been a playboy, but you chose to try to help people and you became a cop and you became a public servant and you risked your life day after day to try to save people from bad guys? And I told you you were a fucking idiot? Well, Bob did it, but Bob was I liked the way Bob did it.

Matt:

Bob did it better.

Rachel:

Bob did it better. Well, she says, he reminded me of you, and I realized you were right.

Episode Quote:

Mortal risking his one short life to save others. I envied his courage, his mortality. He reminded me a few. It was through him that I realized that your quest to become mortal again is right.

LaCroix:

It's strange hearing that coming from you.

Rachel:

And Nick takes a minute, and he's like, wow. I, I never thought I would hear those words from fucking anybody, not from Lacroix, not from you. He must feel so validated in that moment because he has fought the good fight for so many years, and then all of a sudden everyone the one person who mercilessly mocked his crusade was finally, like, you know what? I think you might have a point. And he's just, like, wow.

Rachel:

I need a minute. Hold on. I gotta but Jeanette says he and I were together. As soon as he saved me, that was it. We were together after that.

Rachel:

And he ended up getting transferred to the arson squad because he got injured the night he saved me. And Nick says, did you tell him what you were? And then we get this flashback to her telling this tale to Patrick. And she's

Matt:

about Napoleon.

Rachel:

She's already wearing jeans and a sweater, so she's already started her transformation

Matt:

into pants. The same sweater.

Rachel:

I think it's the same sweater. And it's about Napoleon and his sister, and her sister smelled like herring, and she used to beat Napoleon up. And don't underestimate a woman's strength and blah blah blah. And then the kid goes to bed and Robert's like, so Napoleon's sister smelled, She's like, yeah. Terrible.

Rachel:

Everybody smelled back then. And she he goes, wow. You just you tell those stories like you were actually there. And she's like, what if I were to do?

Matt:

I was.

Rachel:

And he's like, what are you saying? And she's like, come sit by me on the couch, and then she does this like, put your hand on my boob. Well, actually, she says, I have some secrets, And he's like, oh, Everybody has a deep dark past. And she's like, I mean, yes. But also, there's a past and there's a past.

Rachel:

And, you know how you've never seen me in the day and you've never seen me eat and, we haven't had sex. And he goes, now that I've noticed.

Matt:

Fair.

Rachel:

Fair. Yeah. No. That's fair. And she's like, okay.

Rachel:

Come over here. Put your hand on my heart. And he's like, oh, yeah. We're about to remedy one of those things. And then she's like, what do you feel?

Rachel:

And he's like, oh my god. Fucking nothing. You don't have a heartbeat. And she's like, meh. Yeah.

Rachel:

I mean, then how did Nick have a heartbeat in night in question when he was at the hospital and he was on the heart monitor?

Matt:

LaCroix was there.

Rachel:

Apparently, there's some, like, daily slash shooting notes where there was a scene where Natalie put, like, a tape recorder on a

Matt:

Oh, really?

Rachel:

Monitor to make it seem like he had a heartbeat. Anyway

Matt:

I figured, either Natalie or Lacroix intervened to fake Fake.

Rachel:

Fake. Well, they did, theoretically. It just wasn't a scene that made it into the whatever. So Into

Matt:

the episode.

Rachel:

There was a attempt where attempts were made to be consistent here. But, anyway, she doesn't have a heartbeat, and then she does the, like, eye reveal, the, like, look at my green eyes. Yep. And then we cut back to the present, and Nick goes, how did he take it?

LaCroix:

How'd he take it?

Rachel:

I love it. It's like, woo.

Matt:

I've been there. That?

Matt:

I've been there. I've done

Matt:

that a bunch of times.

Rachel:

And, you know, he just had a rush of, like, the last 18 times that happened and, 17 out of 18 times somebody just tried to stake him and run him off. That's one of my okay. So just a minor segue. So in Being Human, the American version, there's a scene there's a part where the vampire character, Aiden, ends up, like, falling in love or starting to date this human woman. And there's a part where he they they're getting serious enough that he needs to come clean.

Rachel:

And so he tells her he's a vampire, and she's like, get the fuck out. And he's like, well, I I love you. And she's like, nope. Nope. Nope.

Rachel:

We aren't doing this. This isn't fucking Twilight. Get the fuck out of my house. And she breaks up with him, and she never talks with him again.

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

And it's my favorite because every single time this trope pops up, it's always, oh, okay. Well, we all have our problems. You know, it's not like, holy shit. Wait. You're a serial killer?

Rachel:

Get the fuck out of my house. You knowingly put me in danger by being with me? How can you possibly love me if that's the case? Get out. I mean, you have to I mean, I'm I am here for vampire romance, but you just have to question the type of person that's, like, well, how bad could they be?

Rachel:

I mean, they need to eat people.

Matt:

He seems like a really

Matt:

good guy.

Rachel:

He seems like he's trying

Matt:

so hard.

Rachel:

I was but, anyway, I just wanna point that out, but he I love the And she goes, well, it was a long night, but love, as they say, conquers all. Oh, what a low blow. Like

Matt:

Right.

Rachel:

If I'd loved you enough, Nick, we could've worked it out. But

Matt:

or I

Matt:

don't know. Or the

Matt:

the trope of, like, here's this thing that the guy has just struggled and constantly failed every attempt to do this thing. And then the lady is like, oh, yeah. I tried it once and it worked. Like, it's hard.

Rachel:

What? Like, it's hard? I don't know why you haven't tried just falling deeply, madly, and passionately in love with somebody. Oh, he does that to, like, every female costar, and it still hasn't fucking worked. I don't know what you're doing.

Rachel:

What? It kinda reminds me of in She Hulk when Bruce Banner is trying to talk to

Matt:

his cousin

Rachel:

about how to control it.

Matt:

He's like explaining about how to control your anger.

Rachel:

Yeah. And she's like, oh, okay. And she just turns into She Hulk and then turns back into a human. He's like, how'd you do that? He's like she says, I'm a woman.

Rachel:

I've been having to control my anger my entire life.

LaCroix:

Yeah.

Rachel:

Yeah. I loved loved how easy it was for her to be She Hulk because everything he had to learn is just something that women have to do constantly.

Matt:

Yep.

Rachel:

Like, women are always at a low boil always because we're just waiting for somebody to try shit. Like, we're waiting for the mansplainer or we're waiting like, you're in defense mode a lot when you're out because you're expecting to encounter someone who wants to start something. And it's not like start something necessarily like aggression, but, like, I don't know. There's a lot of men who are 1 breath away from trying to treat you like a child.

LaCroix:

Mhmm.

Rachel:

And so you always have to be sort of ready for that. Anyway, I like that. But love conquers all. And Bob, she loved Bob. So Bob said he wanted to be Bob apparently found out about the LaRouche thing, and so he decided he wanted to try to bust them.

Rachel:

So he tricked LaRouche into thinking that he was in on it, And LaRouche was like, cool. Cool. Let me go ahead and monologue my entire plan to you. So he revealed everything, and Jeanette's like, wait. He torched my building?

Rachel:

Because, of course, she's listening on the other side of this glass wall that nobody can see her on the other side of. Yeah. It's fine. And LaRouche is like, you could retire early. Spend all your time with Janet.

Rachel:

Get her some sun. He goes, you know, that one could use some sun. Like, get the fuck out of here. Now I hate LaRouche. I wanna kill him too.

Rachel:

But, apparently, Bob underestimated how ruthless LaRouche was, and Nick goes, yep. It's a common mistake. Like, you don't this guy is literally torching buildings and potentially killing people, and he doesn't give a shit, and you didn't know that this guy would absolutely kill you in cold blood. Yeah. But maybe Bob was the kind of guy who believed in the best in people, and so he just didn't see it.

Rachel:

Right. He wasn't as street smart as, like, Jeanette would have been. So they're finally at this like, they're at the bottom of the stairs. This has gotten us to the bottom of the stairs and over to this locker, which there's, like, 2 sets of lockers over here. And, they're getting trailed through the building by the most obvious mob guys I have ever seen.

Matt:

Yes. Absolutely.

Rachel:

They're, like, 10 feet away with binoculars. It's like the worst. Looking in the

Matt:

trash can.

Rachel:

And, of course, they get shot at. They try to run. They're like, Nick goes, I think we're being watched. Because they're like, it's like a, a Pink Panther comedy where, like, the the bad guy's, like, 5 feet away, and he's, like, crouched behind a potted plant that is way too small for him to hide behind. And Nick is, like, I think we're being watched.

Rachel:

And so they take off, and the guys follow them. So they start running. So the guys start running. And then they end up getting shot at. And, of course, Nick is fine because he's a vampire, but Jeanette is like

Matt:

It's not until this moment that Nick realizes Look. Jeanette is human. Look. He's distracted.

Rachel:

We haven't

Matt:

mentioned He's preoccupied.

Rachel:

Haven't mentioned Nick the Brick in a while, but he's it's a very brick move to be like, well, it's Jeanette. Jeanette's a vampire. I don't need to check-in on this. Oh, what's that heartbeat? Who knows?

Rachel:

Maybe she's wearing a recorder, like a heartbeat recorder. Yeah. Like in, Gattaca when he's wearing that heartbeat monitor that makes it sound like his heart isn't racing. Yeah. Exactly like that.

Rachel:

I don't know. It doesn't matter, but she's like, oh, yeah. By the way, I'm mortal. And he's like can you imagine his feelings in that moment? He has fought for 100 of years to try to be mortal again, and she did it by fucking accident.

Rachel:

Yeah. Yeah. She got a family.

Matt:

She got everything that Nick has been pursuing

Rachel:

Yeah.

Matt:

For 100 of years.

Rachel:

True love, a family. She got to be mortal again. And here she is throwing it all the fuck away. It has got

Matt:

For vengeance.

Rachel:

For vengeance. It has got to be, like, a fucking slap in the face, and he takes it in stride. He's like, no. Okay. I'm gonna get you some help.

Rachel:

Oh, okay. Let's go help you now. Like, oh, yeah.

Matt:

Here he goes into a dental and distress mode.

Rachel:

Yeah. He goes into daddy daddy Nick mode, literally, eventually. They get chased by security. Like, security shows up, and, of course, they're, like, crouched to the bottom of the stairwell, and, Janet is bleeding. And she's dropped this notebook, and we actually didn't pick the notebook up between takes.

Rachel:

It's still on the escalator. So I don't know if this notebook was supposed to be important at one point, and we just ditched it.

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

It doesn't matter. But, he ends up flying off with Jeanette. Like, they break out and he's like he's like, hug me, and then they fly off. And they go straight to Natalie's, and Nick walks in and he's like, Natalie, I need a favor. And she goes, that makes me nervous because favors from you entail a little more than just can I borrow your car?

Rachel:

And Nick goes, yeah. And I'm gonna need that too.

Matt:

Hey. You just missed some of my best work. That is if you're into post mortem cranial examinations.

LaCroix:

Nat, I need a favor.

Matt:

Thanks, Jill.

Rachel:

No problem.

Episode Quo:

Makes me nervous. Favors for you usually include a little more than can I borrow your car?

LaCroix:

I'll need that too.

Rachel:

And then he brings in Jeanette. And this has to you want you want a slap in the face from earlier? This has to feel like a slap in the face face for Natalie. Because, finally, his vampire side piece was out of the picture, and surprise, she is both back, and she got exactly what they have both been working for this entire time without ever really wanting it. Yeah.

Rachel:

Yeah. And so I'm sure Natalie is like, no. No. But to her credit, she's like, okay. Lay it out.

Rachel:

What am I doing here? Because back at the place where they got shot, immediately, Reese and Tracy are both here. I don't know why this doesn't have any obvious connection to the LaRouche slash Robert McDonough case. So why and there's no homicide? Have nobody died here?

Rachel:

Just people

Matt:

that shot up? Yeah.

Rachel:

So I don't know why they're there, but they're there. Maybe because it outside this building is where that car got shot up.

Matt:

Maybe.

Rachel:

Yeah. And, security the security guard is standing with Reese, and Reese holds out the picture, the picture of Jeanette. And he's like, do you know who this is? And the lady goes, a lady looks like that? You remember her.

Rachel:

Feels like a dick. It it it feels like, remember how you said she wasn't pretty enough to be in this, and you were fucking delusional? You were in the Lululean when you said that? Well, lady looks like that. You don't forget her.

Rachel:

Thank you, security guard. Agree. Okay.

Matt:

Sure.

Rachel:

And Reese goes, okay. And then Tracy, walks over, and she's like, well, they said her friend was tall, blonde, dark coat, answered to the name of Nicholas, no idea who he could be. She knows exactly who this fucking is because she already has that picture. She already knows that Nick is helping.

Matt:

She's carrying around a photocopy of it.

Rachel:

Yeah. Yep. Yeah. And she goes, well, we have our eyes on the hospital. If they show up there, we'll find out.

Rachel:

And Reese goes, do you get the feeling this is way more complicated than we thought? And then he turns to walk away, and Tracy goes, captain. And he turns around, and she goes, you know what? Never mind. Tracy did not have to do this.

Rachel:

Nick has been

Matt:

Cover for Nick.

Rachel:

Pretty shitty to her in the last couple of episodes. And then all of a sudden, she's willing to cover for him. And I respect her deeply for this, but she doesn't know his side of this, and she's waiting to figure out what his side of this is. She never gets to find out.

Matt:

Well, but she trusts that Nick will maybe explain it to her?

Rachel:

Yeah. Or at least that what he's doing is the right thing.

Matt:

Right.

Rachel:

That he wouldn't do it if it wasn't the right thing. Her trust is completely misplaced, but it is there, and it exists. And then we go back to Natalie, and Natalie calls out Nick for involving her in this cover up of Jennette's crime. So not only did the vampire who has consistently treated you, quote, with affection, bring his long lost vampire paramour here to see you, but she's also committed a crime which you are actively involved in covering up, and now you're asking Natalie to give her medical care. That's a lot.

Rachel:

That's a lot. And Jeanette goes, I'm sorry I got you involved. And Natalie goes, how comforting.

Episode Quo:

Now I don't want anyone getting me wrong here. I think that we all know that I'm not exactly against vampires regaining their mortality. But how the hell are we gonna explain this? You're protecting a murder suspect. Correction.

Episode Quo:

Confessed killer, and here I am sewing her up. And what? Forgetting to file a report?

LaCroix:

Nah. Take it easy.

Episode Quo:

Oh, I would love to take it easy, Nick.

Rachel:

I'm sorry

Episode Quote:

and get you both involved.

Episode Quo:

How comforting.

Rachel:

Like, fucking thank you. I really appreciate the sorry. That's gonna save me when IA comes to figure out why I gave you medical treatment when I should have been turning you in. I have to imagine Natalie is quietly raging. I would be quietly raging.

Rachel:

And Jeanette tells them that she knew she was going to be mortal the first time they made love.

Matt:

Oh, yeah. She knew the transformation was possible.

Rachel:

This whole reveal feels

Matt:

So It's

Rachel:

like twisting a fucking knife is what it is.

Matt:

Jeanette walking in is stabbing Natalie.

Rachel:

Yeah. Right in the heart. In the with affection. Right?

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

Phew. Right there.

Matt:

And then the story of how it happened, I knew the transformation was possible. The first time we made love, twist.

Rachel:

And then we cut to a, like, a flashback of Jennette in this little silky thing. I don't know. And I guess they're supposed to be, like, making love in front of the fire, which feels on brand. It's fine. And then she bites him, and she stops.

Rachel:

And then Jeanette goes into this monologue in front of Natalie and Nick where she's, like, his blood and his dick were both inside me. You know that feeling, Nicholas. It's unlike anything a mortal can experience, and it's just like rubbing it in. Like, oh, you wouldn't understand, Natalie, but there's this

Matt:

That she's squirting, rubbing alcohol in the lemon juice.

Rachel:

Right there. Right right in the face. Because she's like, you wouldn't understand what it feels like, but there's this really erotic moment after you feed on somebody when you can, like, feel them inside your body? And it's just like, oh my god. Like, I can't explain it to you.

Rachel:

And Nick's over there like, please stop. And she goes, blood calms our hunger, but his calmed my heart and made me feel warm inside. Like, it calmed my vampire. And Natalie's just standing there, like, ew, god fucking damn it. Like, I just hate everything about this.

Rachel:

And then she's like, every time we made love, which was, like, oh my god, like, all the time, like, just so much sex, so much incredible sex. And I just needed less and less each time, and I just knew we were meant to be. And Natalie is like, are you telling me it was fucking fate? It was fate? And all it took was a fated mate and a little restraint.

Rachel:

That is all that is required to become human. Fuck you. She's so upset. This has to feel so like, and Nick is just back there, like, do I love Natalie that much? Can I am I worth is it is am I willing to take that chance?

Rachel:

Because I I could probably convince her to take that chance. Do I feel like I want to?

Matt:

All they'd have to do is hook up

LaCroix:

Yeah.

Matt:

And then he has to drink some of her blood.

Rachel:

Yeah. And And if he it's 5050. Either I kill you and it doesn't work, or I don't kill you. And huzzah. Look at that.

Matt:

Well, and he's Nick has demonstrated that he has the ability to restrain himself. Yeah. And so he he could even prepare Natalie, like, hey, if I'm, you know, if I'm not stopping,

Rachel:

like Stake me in the heart.

Matt:

Like, pull out the cross from behind your back or whatever.

Rachel:

Squirt me in the face with garlic juice?

Matt:

Yeah.

Matt:

Got Here's some holy water

Matt:

in a spray bottle.

Matt:

Like, let's just give me a give me a spritz before I go too far if I don't let go. And then right. Pretty pretty safe chance. And then at least Natalie gets a chance. Yeah.

Matt:

And Nick can find out, okay. Do I feel like my vampire is being calmed or not?

Rachel:

This feels like the expert level version of let's go out on a date and see if it works. And if it doesn't, we can just go back to being friends, which is always a lie. You can never go back to being friends. Mhmm. I feel like as soon as Nick bit her and tried to use her as a way to become human by using his love for her to warm his cold dead heart.

Rachel:

How do you go back when that doesn't work?

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

Yeah. It it's like the most final end to will they, won't they ever. So I can kinda see why he's not willing to take that chance because he would lose every part of Natalie even if he didn't kill her.

Matt:

Right. And is it his love well, was it Jeanette's love for Bob, or is it Bob's love for Jeanette?

Rachel:

I don't know. But there was actually more, which every they kinda forget about. But at the very end, she says, no. There was one more thing, and it's them walking, And then he gets shot, and she tries to bring him over, but it doesn't work. So she ends up

LaCroix:

She screams

Rachel:

and rings. Taking the last of his, like, life

LaCroix:

Yeah.

Rachel:

Because she's trying to change him, and it doesn't work. And she goes, it's as though 800 years, because we forgot she's a 1000 years old, of repression had bubbled up all at once, and I thought I was going to die. And I kinda did wanna die, but instead I just became mortal. And then she says, but the killer lingered lingered. The killer lingered until I killed La Roosh.

Rachel:

But now I'm free of it. And Natalie, chucks a pill bottle at her face and is like, that local anesthetic will wear off in about an hour. Take these. Get the fuck out, because they get a she gets a phone call, and they're coming to pick some stuff up from the morgue, somebody else, because she doesn't just exist for Nick's convenience. And so they gotta go because if they can't get caught here.

Rachel:

So Jeanette thanks Natalie, and Natalie's like, you're welcome. Like, please just leave. I've this is the worst day of my life. And then she's like, I totally will, but not until I call Peggy to check on Patrick. And so she walks over and picks up Natalie's phone, does not ask, just picks up Natalie's phone and calls Peggy.

Rachel:

And, uh-oh, the bad guys are at Peggy's house, and they want the key. Remember the world's worth that world's worst bad guys? They got done looking in the trash cans, and now they actually just went and got hostages. So they end up driving off in Natalie's Taurus for a little, like I mean, her car got wrecked, like, 3 times for the show. So I'm sure after a while, she accumulated enough insurance money to buy herself a nice car.

Rachel:

And Jeanette is like, oh my god. These people are terrible. I'm so worried because they will kill anyone who suits them just like we used to. Meanwhile, we go back to Tracy, and Tracy has tracked Natalie down at the morgue. And she's, like, I need advice on Nick.

Rachel:

I think he's involved in a murder, or I think he's at least involved with a murder suspect. And so she holds up this picture, which is very obviously Nick. Yeah. And here she goes, is that Natalie goes, is that Nick? I don't know.

Rachel:

I I can't I can't see. It's kinda blurry. And Tracy goes, yeah. And Patrick says that he's this Jeanette woman's brother. And Natalie goes, oh, well, then it's obviously not Nick because Nick doesn't have any family.

Rachel:

He he doesn't have any family at all. And Tracy's like, Natalie, you know something. And she goes, yeah. I know Nick, And I'm not in a good place with that right now, but I do know that Nick always tries to do the right thing.

Matt:

Right. Tries to do what he thinks is the right thing.

Rachel:

Yes. Yeah. And is it what is actually right, or is it simply what he perceives is right? Mhmm. Dot dot dot.

Rachel:

And so they end up showing up at the house. Jeanette, Janet, and Nick show up at the house, and they walk in. They don't know who the blonde guy is. So but they don't question Nick's presence at all. And they're, like, we had a deal.

Rachel:

You need to untie them.

Matt:

Well, if they talk to Peggy, then they would know Peggy. Brother, I guess. Janet was here to see her brother.

Rachel:

Yeah. Well, she calls her Shanette, but Janet's funnier. And then they're, like, key. No. Untie him.

Rachel:

Key. No. Untie him. We go back and forth a little bit. And then Nick ends up pulling out the key and chucks it on the table, and they're like, thanks.

Rachel:

Pew pew. And they shoot Jeanette and Nick, and then they hand off, like, an electric car key. And then they end up pushing the button and a couple of bombs explode, and then the house is on fire. So I think shit escalates really quickly. Yeah.

Rachel:

We go from, like, exchange the hostages to, like, pew pew, fuck, I'm dead, and then the whole house is on fire. Hostages to, like, pew pew, fuck, I'm dead, and then the whole house is on fire. And Nick runs over. Okay. There are 2 human beings tied to chairs in the middle of this blazing inferno, and Nick is, like, let me check on Janet.

Rachel:

So he goes over and checks on Jeanette. He's like, Jeanette, are you okay? And she has to tell him to go save the humans. She's like

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

Fucking go save them first.

Matt:

I could I'm saving a human right now.

Rachel:

My my son, your literal son and my metaphorical son are right over there. And your, I guess, sister-in-law, I don't know how is over there. Like, your sister-in-law slash slash I don't know what if Jeanette was his wife. Sister-in-law. Sister-in-law both ways.

Rachel:

Yeah. So your sister-in-law twice is over there. Go, please. Save them first. And so Nick is, like, fucking fine.

Rachel:

So he goes over there and he ends up untying both of them, and he's, like, Patrick, I'm making you the man of this rescue. You have to get your aunt out of here. And Patrick's like, oh, okay. I I can do this. And he's like, you can do this.

Rachel:

Get her out of here. I'm not gonna help you. You can figure this out.

Matt:

Okay.

Rachel:

You got this. Okay, mister Nick. And so the he ends up getting his aunt out. Well, Jeanette's, like, bleeding out on the couch and Nick is, like, I can bring you across. And she's, like, no.

Rachel:

Honestly, please don't. Like, this was a once in a lifetime opportunity. Let me just let this end. Bob is gone. Life isn't worth living.

Rachel:

And Nick is like, no. Please, let me change you. It's fine. Like, I got this. I've I've practiced a couple of times.

Rachel:

I'm pretty sure I can do this. And she's like, please don't change me. And then Nick does this like, where he like rears back.

Matt:

A little like roar.

Rachel:

I don't hate this. I don't hate this. I don't hate his, like, vampire roar of frustration that he gets in the middle of the fire while his ex paramour, who became a human when he wanted to be a human, is dying and doesn't seem to care. I mean, I get it. And then we cut to this really weird dream, and it's Natalie in the freezer room.

Rachel:

And she's, like, I got the test results back. It was the beta blockers and the norepinephrine, and it's true. And, we have proof positive because we're gonna have a baby. And Nick, like, runs over to her and they turn towards the camera and they have, like, their cheeks pressed together. Goofing kisses.

Rachel:

Smiling, like, yes. And then the phone rings, and it's Reese, and he wakes him up. So he gets woken up from this, like, we're gonna have a baby.

Matt:

Wonderful dream.

Rachel:

Yeah. And we find out that there's a double homicide. And so he goes to the to the place where the double homicide is, which surprise, surprise, is right by these lockers. And he's chatting with Tracy, and she says, she just wants to hear that it was the right thing and that it's not Whatever

Matt:

he was doing.

Rachel:

Isn't going to come back to haunt us. Is whatever you did gonna come back to haunt us? And he's like, nope. And then he looks over at the 2 men that Jeanette just killed, which are like over on the ground, which feels like a haunting consequence to me Yeah. If ever there was one.

Rachel:

Yeah. And poor Patrick, He lost Jeanette. He lost his dad. And now he's just with his aunt Peggy, and that's it. So poor Patrick.

Rachel:

He's actually lost more family than Natalie has. Yeah. And Nick tries to talk to Natalie about the love cure at this crime scene. She is at work, and he's, like, so about that thing where, Jeanette had sex with that guy, and it made her human. I've been I've been thinking about it a lot, and I don't wanna risk you.

Rachel:

I don't wanna risk our friendship, our just friends forever ship. And Natalie's like, I mean, okay. Yeah. I mean, I keep telling myself, those were extraordinary circumstances, and we can't possibly hope to reproduce them. And, like, I get it.

Rachel:

Okay. Fine. Fine. Fine. Fine.

Rachel:

And then she's, like, actually, we have a bigger problem right now. And she, like, tips the head to the side, and there's clearly fang marks on this guy's neck. And they're like, yeah. She he was killed by a vampire. And these are the weirdest angle fang marks.

Rachel:

I just

Matt:

Okay. I was thinking if the vampire was behind the person and tilted their head to the side That

Rachel:

would work.

Matt:

Then that's how the fang marks would line up. And

Rachel:

Let's go with that.

Matt:

And we've seen in a lot of flashbacks, that's how Lacroix, Jeannette, and Nick typically

Rachel:

Attack people.

Matt:

Attack people.

Rachel:

That's fine. It's fine. It doesn't matter. And they found the evidence to exonerate Bob. So Bob's Bob is

Matt:

Bob's legacy is cleared.

Rachel:

Yep. Bob's name is cleared. Jeanette got her revenge.

Matt:

To live in shame of his father.

Rachel:

Yeah. Patrick is taken care of. Jeanette got everything she wanted except a death as a mortal because Nick was like, this feels petty. Okay? Yeah.

Rachel:

This feels like some petty, but I didn't wanna lose you, but, like, this wasn't about you, Nick. This was about her. She she said no.

Matt:

He could've taken her to the hospital.

Rachel:

Yeah. That she said no, which feels and so when, you know, I mean, that feels like denial of consent. So when you changed her, it was against her will. So who's the good guy Yeah. In this, hashtag not you?

Rachel:

So LaCroix, we go back to Lacroix, and he's like, strange how things turn out. And it turns out he's at Nick's apartment. But Nick Nick has apparently told Lacroix all about it because he's Lacroix says, well, she gets what you've wanted all along. And then, funny fucking story, you're the one who takes it away from her.

LaCroix:

Even Leonardo couldn't capture all of her beauty. Strange how things turn out, isn't it? Through hellish circumstance, she obtains what has proven so elusive to you. Only to have that 1 in a 1000000000 happenstance taken from her by you. I don't know whether to laugh or to cry for you, Nicholas.

Rachel:

And what they have in front of them is the da Vinci painting that they got in that petty ass fight about when they broke up last time, and he kept it because he was like, uh-uh. I had Da Vinci paint this for me. You can't hit it. And she's like, that's my selfie. I want it.

Rachel:

And he was like, uh-uh. So he ended up giving it to her. Remember he had the little cabinet with the light on it?

LaCroix:

Yeah. Yep.

Rachel:

He ended up giving it to her, and now she's given it back because she's like, I don't fucking want it. Just like I don't fucking want you. And LaCroix goes, I don't know whether to laugh or cry for you, Nicholas. And Nick says, you haven't told me everything, LaCroix. And LaCroix goes, well, neither of you, Nick.

Rachel:

And then he goes, it seems like I have lost a daughter and regained a son. Oh, because Lacroix can see the writing on the wall. He's not he's not making a big deal about it because every time he makes a big deal about it, Nick gets weird and back. It's like pathological demand avoidance.

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

As soon as he's like, oh, you're becoming a vampire again. Great. Let's go out and hunt together. He's like, uh-uh. Never gonna hunt ever again.

Rachel:

So Lacroix can't say anything about it. He has to just ride this wave. But he is fucking enjoying this ride, because Nick is on a very slow but steady descent from

Matt:

Back towards him.

Rachel:

Back towards Lacroix. And this kinda feels like being human UK. We get a character in the last couple seasons named Hal. Yeah. And Hal's, hands down, my favorite character in the entire series.

Rachel:

And when we first meet him, he is, like, he's been clean, quote, unquote, for, like, 50 years, but he can feel his vampire nature coming back. Mhmm. And he says it feels like feeling the tide come back in. And that's what this feels like. It's like he goes through these cycles where he's really, really good for a while, and then the needle swings the other way, and he ends up all the way back with the croiss.

Rachel:

And then that gets to be too much, and then he regains his whatever. So it definitely feels like we are on the downslide towards going back to just being a vampire, and I am fucking here for this. And I this was not a horrible episode. I didn't hate this episode. I like this episode.

Rachel:

1, I like we get to see Debra Du Chaine again, and I love that she showed up and was, like, deuces, y'all. I'm gonna wear what I fucking wanna wear, and I'm not I'm not affecting that stupid Jennette accent again. You fired me. You don't get it back.

Matt:

Yeah.

Rachel:

You wanted me to still be Jennette? You should've kept Jennette. But I'll show up. I'll I'll make it I'll make some cash. Like, I'll buy a car.

Rachel:

Whatever you pay me for

Matt:

this time. I'm wondering how much they had to pay her. I guess

Rachel:

A couple was a lot.

Matt:

Guest star pay

Rachel:

Is higher.

Matt:

Is higher than regular cast pay.

Rachel:

Which funny story. That's why Uhura was the highest paid cast member of the original Star Trek series.

Matt:

Right.

Rachel:

Because they wouldn't allow a

Matt:

black actor

Rachel:

to be on the, like, cast. She couldn't be in the series cast.

Matt:

Cast. Yeah.

Rachel:

So she had to be a guest star on every single episode, and so she was the highest paid actress. I like this episode. We get Deborah back, and then we get this, I mean, this is just another nudge down the slippery slope of Nick ever so slowly leaving behind this. I mean, I feel like season 1, we got a lot more vampire vigilante where he'd, like, fly after people and he'd land in front of their cars and shit. But he was always, like, reluctantly using the vampire in pursuit of justice.

Rachel:

Right. And then season 2, we kinda forgot he was a vampire, kinda remembered he was a vampire, kind of just used it for show in the flashbacks, whatever. It was just sort of and then now in season 3, it's like, oh, he's gonna be cured. He's and then it's like, but human blood tastes really good. And there's that time he got, he got possessed by a demon, and it made him hungry again.

Rachel:

And there's not really a shape, but there's kind of a shape. I mean, there's a little bit of a

Matt:

Yeah. Like a series plot arc or a

Rachel:

season plot arc. Yeah. It's subtle, And it's definitely something where you are drawing in a lot of the dots on your own. Yeah. But it doesn't take too many self administered dots to get a nice curve going.

Matt:

Mhmm.

Rachel:

And I love that. I love that we we are allowing the Nicholas character to grow and not necessarily grow in a good direction.

Matt:

Right. He's not on the hero's journey.

Rachel:

Yeah. It's like a descent into madness.

Matt:

Yeah. I'm

Rachel:

fucking here for it.

Matt:

Like, somebody who's been sober for a long time who's like, I'll just have one drink.

Rachel:

Yeah. And

Matt:

then they're, like, I'll have another drink.

Rachel:

Yeah. Okay. The other night getting drunk on Saturday, really, how's that really gonna bother you?

Matt:

I've gone 2 weekends in a row where I just had 1 or 2 drinks. Okay. So maybe I'm better. Maybe I could handle it now, and then they just steadily sink.

Rachel:

Yeah. But I love vampirism as a metaphor for addiction, so that works real that works great. I like it better as a metaphor for addiction than I do as, like, a sexual predator. We've had that discussion, but that's my least favorite interpretation. I love the I mean, vampire as metaphor is, like, my favorite.

Rachel:

Yeah. Monster as metaphor for being othered or for, like, different things that affect the human condition, like addiction and mental illnesses. Perfect. It's the

Matt:

fantasy version of what Star Trek does with aliens.

Rachel:

Right. Exactly. A sandbox. It gives you a sandbox to play with where these things feel achievable without it being like, oh, this guy's depressed. You're like, no.

Rachel:

He's not depressed. He's a ghost. Oh, this guy has anxiety problems. No. He doesn't.

Rachel:

He's a werewolf. Or, like, the one thing we don't get a lot of, and you and I were having a discussion about this morning is, like, the female monster, which is why I lamented the loss of Jeanette. Yeah. Because it's, like, female monsters as a metaphor for, like, the embodiment of feminine power and how we don't get a lot of female werewolves, especially, because they are, like, the denial of, all feminine power.

Matt:

Like Oh, it's it's a reversal. I guess the a female werewolf is the inverse of everything that is, like, mainstream feminine.

Rachel:

Yeah. And we were talking about this yesterday as well is there's a book series where, the vampires are, like, allergic to the sun and crosses and shit because they were convinced that they were by the Catholic church. It's pretty good book series by Christopher Golden. I think it's saints of saints and shadows. And it's an interesting concept that they actually, like, they can shape change, so they can become fire, they can become all kinds of stuff.

Rachel:

So when they go out in the sun, they literally just immolate themselves. It's all in their mind. And it feels like a metaphor for, at a certain point in history, men got together and came up with, like, okay. We're gonna start convincing women that they're the inferior speak that they're the inferior gender. And for some reason scary otherwise.

Rachel:

For some reason, we fucking believed them, and we've been believing them for way too long, ladies. Way too long. I'm sorry. If a man can't handle you at your most, like, feminine and empowered, just fucking like, drop them. Fuck that out of the gene pool by not fucking that.

Rachel:

Okay? I don't know. That's I I think I've talked about that in, like, the last 6 pods we've done, but it must be weighing on me right now. I just maybe because of the coming American, like, election that's coming up and all the shit that's happening with, like, reproductive rights where we are allowing these white men, these old white men to dictate what I can and cannot do with my body. And I have a 10 year old daughter, which means I'm anywhere from 2 to 4 years from having a daughter who's capable of having a child.

Rachel:

And that means that I live in a country where there is a real life possibility that she could be 12 to 14 years old and pregnant, and I could do nothing about it even if it was the result of sexual assault.

Matt:

Right. And we could be, like, jailed Yeah. For trying to get help.

Rachel:

And I have also gone through in vitro fertilization, and we just had that whole thing where now frozen embryos in certain states are considered babies. And I went through 3 transfers before I had a successful transfer, which means I had 2 spontaneous losses of fertilized embryos. And does that mean, like, you implanted that embryo knowing it might not stick? Is is there we don't know what the precedent for that is going to be. Because when you implant an embryo, you do not have a 100% guarantee that it's going to work.

Rachel:

Right. So is that attempted murder? Is that manslaughter?

Matt:

Is that, reckless endangerment?

Rachel:

Is that reckless endangerment? Okay. I'm gonna leave it there because that is a rabbit hole. But when you've had the level of life experience that we have and you see this shit happening, it's like watching a train wreck. And it must be bothering me because I keep bringing it up.

Rachel:

So just stay informed, think critically, and, make your own decisions. And I'm gonna leave it at that. So until next time, friends. Bye.