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In this episode of 'Fuck Fear with Christine Spratley: Living Like an HBIC,' Christine delves into her personal health journey, focusing on menopause and women's health. She shares how she discovered she was menopausal, her experiences with hormone replacement therapy, and the emotional and physical challenges she has faced. Christine candidly discusses her personal experiences with IUD removal, the emotional impact of realizing she can no longer have children, and the broader implications of women's health issues. This episode is a mix of personal anecdotes, emotional reflections, and practical advice, aimed at both women and men to foster a better understanding of women's health.
00:00 Introduction and Overview
01:22 Discovering Menopause
02:44 Hormone Replacement Therapy Journey
03:09 Understanding Women's Health
06:03 Personal Reflections on Health and Body
08:16 Experiencing Medical Procedures
16:10 Emotional Impact of Health Changes
18:56 Embracing the Journey
32:58 Conclusion and Future Topics
Creators and Guests
What is F*ck Fear with Christine Spratley: Living Like a Head Bitch In Charge ?
This podcast is for anyone who wants to live like an HBIC—or lives with, works with, marries, dates, or is raising one. Let’s be real: being a Head Bitch in Charge is messy, bold, and unapologetically badass. This is not a guidebook—it’s a pantry.
My guests and I will share the ingredients that we use—what’s worked and what’s failed—as we say “fuck fear” and take action to live a fulfilled life. We cover real-life hacks and deep philosophical pillars to navigate the chaos of everyday life—where some days, my only accomplishment is having a bra on and my teeth brushed.
We’re tackling the daily shit women navigate, from workplace politics to relationships, raising kids, and building careers, all with humor, audacity, and zero filters.
So, tune in—tell your friends, and even your enemies. This isn’t about aging with grace—it’s about aging with mischief, audacity, and a damn good story to tell.
15 F Fear
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[00:00:00] Hello, ladies and gentlemen and everyone in between. Welcome to fuck Fear with Christine Spratley, living like an HBIC. Um, today, as, as you know, first of all, as you know, there are four areas that I try to cover, and I've covered a lot of the
Default_2025-03-13_1: Especially I think the personal relationships and how we interact. I covered [00:01:00] emotional intelligence, which we can take from our personal and into our professional lives. And then I've touched a little bit about, you know, spiritual or STO or whatever you choose to practice. Um, but I haven't really gotten into that and I have not touched health for the most part.
So we are touching health today. Um, and part of the reason we're touching health is because I have been, well, if I tell this story right and I just kind of prepped Joe, um, before we started to give him a warning about what the segment was about. And in, in telling him this, I said I realized that I was menopausal.
Um, not because my doctor told me. I realized it because I had an app on my phone that had all of my labs and stuff, and I was bored doing something one day. And I was going through my labs in [00:02:00] 2008, in 2020 and realized that my labs came back as menopausal and you know, they were higher than just perimenopausal lapse.
And um, and so I went and I talked to my doctor about it and he was like, well, you know, and I don't know how many women have ever heard, well, you know. Um, and so, and I remember talking briefly about hormone replacement therapy and it just, you know, it just wasn't all that embracing of it and everything, so I didn't do anything.
And I finally, this past year, we year in 2025. Um, . I started hormone replacement therapy and it was a hard road for me to get there. Um, one because I had to do a lot of research to find out, you know, fact from fiction and different things. [00:03:00] But I ended up finding, um, a, a doctor and a facility that, that I, I am on pellets now, but
I wanna talk to you today a little bit about that journey. Now, if you're sitting there and you're in your twenties or thirties or forties or early fifties, but if you're younger and you're like, yeah, I don't need to know this, listen, because one of the best books that I've read, and again, best as far as informing me, I'm not saying best out there best, whatever, but was very good at, at educating me about my body.
I mean. Was basically, it's, it's, if I get this right, it's called your, your brain on the pill. And it is really amazing for me. I, I remember reading it, um, and I remember telling a friend of mine, I said, how can I be 54 years old? I'll be 55 in September. How can I be 54 years old and have lived in this damn body [00:04:00] this damn long and not know anything about it?
And it's not like I don't know about it. I know when I'm fat, I know when I'm overweight, I know when I have Zi, but like how it actually functions inside of me and the, it just blew my mind. And I'm, you know, I'm not even embarrassed to, to tell you that I didn't know all this stuff. Um, it's very confusing and I was never encouraged to talk about my body, let alone understand.
My body and the more I find out about the lack of, hmm, how do I wanna put this attention to women's health, our actual bodies, um, and what, what goes on in the way that it, it affects our being? And that's the one thing I really didn't. Grasp until I [00:05:00] started reading that book and stuff. And then I've read other books since, and I've also read and listened to different podcasts on menopause and things like that.
But it affects our being. And if you're a guy listening to this, don't turn this off. It affects your wife, your daughters, your, your mom, your auntie, your girlfriend, whoever. It affects our being. And that's what I wanna tell you. So if you're younger and you're going, eh, I don't need to listen to Zach. No.
Stay tuned. It's important, and I've put off doing this because there's some things that I, I feel very confident in talking about. 'cause I've worked through some of this shit for the most part, or at least I've under the illusion that I've worked through it. But. This, I'm still going through it. I'm still navigating and I don't have all the answers, so I'm not presenting it to you like these are the answers and end all a be all.
But these are things that I've, I've gone through and [00:06:00] I'm gonna tell you about what happened yesterday. I am 54. I am, um, separated from my husband and I am at the stage in my life where I had an IUD, I've had them for many years. And, um, don't need to have one anymore. . I'm not having, there's no way that I'm getting pregnant.
Um, and, you know, um, and, so I set an appointment to have it taken out. And if any of you have gone through this, um, I'm one of the women who, when I had my IUD put in, I . Get to a point of passing out and, just if you've not done, if you've not had an IUD, just, you know, when you, when you get, if you, if that's something that you're gonna go do, think about that, um, and talk to, talk to, read about it.
Um, but it is for me and not every woman, I, I've talked to many women about it. Um, some [00:07:00] women, it's been very painful. Some women haven't had an issue with it as far as putting it in and then also taking it out, um, for me. It's literally my body goes, what the fuck? And I can handle a lot of pain. I can handle a lot of pain.
Um, was a pro boxer for a long time and it, it got to the point for me where I pass out, I get lighthearted. I, I literally, I remember I, the second time, you know, I, I had, they took it out and replaced it and, um, I, I sat up and I went, I mean, I just laid out. They're like, okay, you lay back down. I was like, no, no, no.
I am laying back down. That's where I'm at. You don't even even put me back down. So, so I knew I was getting it taken out yesterday and um, so I said, well, you know, maybe I won't do go to my physio after this. And I was actually supposed to tape yesterday, Joe and I canceled that, um, just in case. [00:08:00] Um, because not only for me does it, is it hurt, um, while that happens and it's a short time, but it hurts.
But then I have incredible cramps and then spotting. Um, so I'm gonna walk you through women. We've, we've gone through this, right? We walk into the office from the time more little to . You know, 54, I walk in and we get our vitals, they give us a gown. And by the way, the gowns are, the one that I had yesterday was actually cloth, which was so nice.
Um, and, and it was nice and soft, which is such a nice thing when you're stripping down butt naked. Um, and you get up on the table. And this is what I if, if this, if there's any men out there listening, I want you to think about this. And for women, um, as I walk through this, you'll know this. So we get up there and [00:09:00] there's, there's a, there's my new kind of ob, GYN.
He comes in and he says, there's a young woman, she's, you know, a student. Can she come in? Fine. You know, been here, done this. I know what the deal is. Yeah, bring her in. Let's go. Let's have some fun. And then of course, then the assistant comes in. So he's like, first we're gonna do your breast exam and all this stuff.
And by the way, if your O-B-G-Y-N does not have this, I thought it was actually really good. They now have a carton of lemons. That will show you what different things around your breast should look like when they're messed up. Now, while that sounds, ah, what it is, it is actually, for me, it was very helpful because I had never knew other than a lump what it could be wrong with my breast.
Like what it would look like, what a bump would look like, or any of that. And so it was actually nice to be able to see, oh, that's what wrong [00:10:00] could look like. And I tell you this because. I never felt when I went in there that I knew, I mean, I knew, but I didn't know and I did not feel confident at all.
And I'm 54 to, to ask a bunch of questions. Now I, and I think I felt more confident over time, but it was nice to actually, how, how little of something is that, you know, you see . A curtain of lemon's and they go, well, this is what it would look like if it was, you know, if the lump was here or if you had discharge here.
And I don't know, that sounds so silly, but it's something I, I'm, I guarantee you a lot of us older women, we, we never had. So it was kinda like filling around, fumbling in the dark, going does that feel weird? I don't know. Does that, what's weird? Um, and, and it's also hard because then you're like, is this weird?
Then, you know, you go like to your husband, does that feel [00:11:00] weird? And he's like, no, that didn't feel weird. You know, he's like, Ooh, booby instead. And so again, it's nice for us to have that. So the way this works is, and women, you know this, but for anybody who doesn't, um. You take off your, you sit up, you take off, you're sitting at the end of the, the, the table.
You're naked, except you've got this robe on. You take the robe down and then they, they do the air traffic controller. Okay, go like this. Okay, go like this so he can see, you know, how your boobs move and everything. Okay, now we're gonna lay down and he does the same thing. And you do the, and then he does the little, you know.
Or she, you know, for me it was a guy, you know, doing the round thing, you know, around touching your boob and, and, and checking for lumps or checking for, or just, um, you know, nodules. And again, this is my first time meeting this, this doctor, um, a student who I'd never met and a, and a assistant [00:12:00] and. The only thing that was different about that was that it was a new doctor for me.
But other than that, we've all walked into these rooms. We may have known our O-B-G-Y-N, um, maybe the assistant's still there from the last time, maybe not. Um, but again, it's all, we are naked there and they're doing this now. There's nothing wrong with this at all, but what I would like, how different it is.
Is if a man had to go in and stand in front of three people that he knew, maybe one. Okay. Say it was a female doctor and two nurses drop his drawers and then have his. You know, balls and his dick hang out and go, okay, lift your left leg up. Okay, now wing it around. Okay. Lift your right leg up. Okay, now lay down.
Now let me feel it, you know, let me touch this. Does that [00:13:00] hurt? No. Okay. All right. And, and I'm, and, and it's funny 'cause I was talking to how different that would be, . I mean, I don't know. Guys, guys, guys, you guys have a hard time coughing, you know. Oh no, we've been doing this since we were little girls. This is what happens to our bodies.
And I was laying there yesterday going, this is just really wild. I am not, I am not offended. I'm not, I don't feel threatened or anything, but how open am I and my body to just whoever's in the room? And they were, they were respectful. They were, there was nothing, any, anything inappropriate or anything wrong.
I just wanted to just go, wait a minute. This is, this is how you are treating this body. This is my body and how intimate this is. And I never looked at it as an intimate situation whatsoever. [00:14:00] And, um, because it was just what we did. It's just what we do. And I thought per literally a second, I was like, wow, I don't, I don't know many guys that could do this.
You know, I don't know many guys that would be able to handle that. And I'm not saying I, I talked to a friend of mine, she's like, well, that ain't fair. It's not about being fair. We've got different stuff. But I'm saying respect. Respect that it's different for us. Respect that it's important to us, that it's part of our dignity.
and, and women. I think one of the conversations you can have with your loved ones, with whomever that is of the opposite sex, that doesn't have to go through that, explain it to 'em like it's theirs. Like literally, okay babe, let me put it to you this way. This is what it would be like, you know, [00:15:00] and, and, and see what that you Then maybe they'll start to understand, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa.
What did, what did they do? Okay. So I'm laying there and, um, he's like, okay, now you're, you're gonna feel this pain. Do you wanna know? And I said, yes ma'am. I wanna know. I wanna know. Don't you scare, don't you sneak up on me with this shit I need to know. And he, he goes, [00:16:00] okay, I'll tell you. And, um, and so I'm, I'm laying there and he, you know, starts getting ready and I started crying and this was the part.
That I didn't know where it came from. And, um, it was, I just started crying and, um, and I, and he goes, okay, 1, 2, 3, boom, it happened. And I, and then my body just, you know, shuts down. And, um, part of that is, um, like I said, the, the vagus nerve goes, what the fuck? . And um, and I kind of was like, he's like, are, are, and then he noticed I was crying.
He came up and he, you know, grabbed my hand and, and I just, um, he's, he thought it was the pain and, um, and it wasn't, it wasn't the pain this time. And he said, I, or I said, I said, I, I don't have kids or I don't have any more kids. [00:17:00] And he said. He, he didn't know what I meant by that. And, um, and many of you don't know this, but I, I've never given birth.
Um, I have two amazing and wonderful stepchildren and, and they're, they've, I wouldn't trade them for the world. Um, and they, I've been so blessed, but I've never actually given birth. And so what kind of happened was . I realized, and I, you know, I've been, like I said, menopausal since 2020, um, at least. And, um, so I knew I was not gonna have any more children if I, you know, any children.
Not anymore, but any children.
But as a woman to, for me anyway, um, to realize that that [00:18:00] part of me is gone. Never to return. That that gift of life that we get to give, um, is no longer there and a part of you. It was a very, um, sad part that I experienced yesterday. Um, and I don't have, you know, it wasn't, um, it wasn't regret in the sense of, God, I wish I would've had kids, or, I wish I would've done this, or I wish I would've done that.
It just didn't happen. We're all given different gifts in life and, um, we're all given, we all make different choices for different reasons and there's, there's no way I would change anything 'cause I wanna be where I'm at today. But when that happened yesterday, I felt every part. Of being a woman, [00:19:00] but I also felt every part of my youth kind of washing away and this just moment and what was so wild about this, and I'm, I'm really kind of actually proud of myself because I didn't rush me.
You know, most of the time you go, okay, all right, I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm fine. And we do that and, um. Oh, yeah, I'm good. And I didn't, I just laid there with it and I couldn't give words. And they, again, they were, they were wonderful. They were absolutely amazing. Um, I don't know that that student is gonna do that , I don't know if it helped her process of education.
Um, but I, I just laid there and I just cried. I just cried. And, you know, I know I'm grieving and all that wonderful stuff, but. But to me it's just, it really was a moment where I realized the power of us as [00:20:00] women, you know, men don't get to do this. And I say get, because it is a blessing and they don't get to have this ability and then have it go away.
Um, and it's not something that we control, you know, we don't get to go, oh no, I think I want a few more years on this. . Um, this is something that, that goes with our time and it's just part of our path. And as a woman, there was a real intimate moment yesterday with myself where it was like, okay, this part of my life is, is past and I've fully embracing this new part and this new journey.
Um. It also means that I have to look back and say goodbye to some of that others, and other, other part that, that, that I don't have, I don't get to have anymore. Um, and it's been a [00:21:00] really interesting path for me because I have friends that are younger than me and they're in their thirties and they're hearing that TikTok, TikTok.
Um, and they're trying to figure out, you know, they've got their shit together, you know, but God, do I wanna do, I wanna have kids. Everybody else is having kids, everybody else is married, everybody else is doing this stuff. Everybody else is, and, and we're just having conversations. And some of the, you know.
Our, our, my friend groups have, has children, have had children, some have not. Some have, you know, some are older. Um, I'm, I think I'm the oldest one in, in the group. And I, and I don't ha, I, I was never able, I was never, um, able to give birth and, um, and that was by choice. Um, but I did raise . You know, with my, with my husband, um, stepchildren [00:22:00] with, with, um, their mom and was given many gifts for that.
So I understand that. I understand that struggle. And if you're going through something like that, just explore it. Just explore it and don't beat yourself up. When I went through my. Thought around having children. I, I was really, um, I was very into, I mean, that's all I wanted when I, when I was younger and that's all I wanted was a family.
And the hard thing for me was I still wanted to and, um. My husband did not he, 'cause he was already blessed with, with Brady and Madison. And, um, so I had to do some work and I, well, I chose to do some work. I didn't have to, but I chose to do some work and really [00:23:00] look at, okay, what does it mean and what is the, what is driving me to do this?
And can I, you know, can I love the children that, that I've been given, um, through this marriage and, you know, as my own and things of that nature and. I was, and I was able to do that. Um, so I came to my decision and my path. Um, so I just want you to know that as you go through and you sort these things out, you know, I don't look back and regret, but what I've learned about life, and I'll get to the rest of this podcast, but what I've learned about life for me is there are some gifts that I won't have.
Um. I did not have a family and was raised in a family that was very stable. Um, as if you've listened to my podcast, you may know I, I ran away when I was 18. Um, it was not a a, a home life for me, [00:24:00] and I've stayed away for the most part. And so when I look back and I see other people have those family reunions and all that stuff, I don't have that.
And that's by choice. Okay. But. Some people have tried over the years to say, well, you know, you fill that up, that that gets filled up. Um, and for a long time I tried to fill it. I tried to fill that hole with something. And what I've realized now for, for me, is that I don't feel the hole. I don't feel the hole.
It doesn't hurt as much. I don't even think about it sometimes. Then there are some days where I go, oh yeah, I wish I would've had that. I wish that would've been different. I wish I would've not had that hole. And then some days it hurts, and then some days it aches and then I move forward, and then other days it doesn't.
So it's not [00:25:00] that I focus on it every day or that I feel it emptiness or anything. And that's kind of how.
It was for me yesterday was I don't regret one moment of the decision not to have children because I don't get everything that I have right now if I make different choices. Um, but it is a gift. It is a gift, and it is a whole. I don't try and stuff my step kids and put them in there like that or anything like that.
No, they're, they've got their own space. They're not trying to fill my voids. I just have a void there and some days I'm gonna miss it, and some days it's gonna hurt, and other days it's gonna ache. And then other days I'm gonna walk on [00:26:00] and go, yeah, I didn't do that. That's all right. I think for me that was yesterday where it just egged and I got up and, you know, clean, you know, like we do, we clean ourselves up and we put our stuff on.
We go out and I made some comment, funny comment, made them laugh and everybody, you know, went, went and you know, and for me, I don't know about the rest of you women out there, but for me that meant that yesterday and today I still have cramps really bad and I'm bleeding one of those things again. Joe, I'm just not sure.
I'm not, I haven't, I've been obviously not bringing you into this conversation just because I didn't want to, I don't have a lot to add. You don't have a lot to add , but, but you know, last time I checked, I don't think men like things, you know, blood coming from any Orpheus rather, you know, let alone a private part and, you know, but yet it's like, oh yeah, you're gonna spot, you're gonna spot, you're gonna bleed.[00:27:00]
So it's one of those things where, you know, yesterday and today I've been, I've been in pain and I've been nauseous and, and, and we just pick up and go on. I must have sat in that. I literally was texting some of my friends. 'cause I, funny thing, so I do, my mugshot crew, my mugshots didn't go out till about nine 30 yesterday and I did it from the parking lot, the garage parking lot.
My OBGYN's office because I couldn't drive. I was, I was in too much pain. And literally one of my, my buddies that I used to work with at Deloitte text me and he's like, Hey, how you doing? I was worried about you didn't see these come through, you know? And I go, you wanna know? And he is like, yeah. And I'm like, well, here you go.
And, um, and he's like, damn, that's gotta, that's gotta suck. And I was like, yeah, it did. But. I say all this to just, I, I just want [00:28:00] us to take a second and think about wherever stage you're at in your life as a woman, or if this is your partner's, a woman, your daughter's that you know, your mom, whatever, wherever she's at, the woman in your life, whether it's her or it, it's you or it's someone else.
How many times has she gone through something like that with her body, with the most intimate parts of her body? How many times have we done it where it's just, okay, here it is. All right. Okay, here we go. Check out my boobs. Everybody. Let's go and just hope nothing's wrong, but we forget and we, or we don't even acknowledge 'cause I didn't that.
They're really touching and examining a temple.
The abilities that we have as women is just [00:29:00] pretty amazing and remarkable. We have the ability to do that,
and if you're listening to this and you don't have, and you're, and you're female and you do not have the ability to have children. What is amazing to me because I've, I've had miscarriages. Okay. And, Ooh, that's hard. I didn't know where that came from. Thought I had worked through that one. Um, but it was really hard for me because I felt that was something wrong with my body.
And actually the way that I've learned is that's my body telling me, no, I'm protecting you. And, um, that's how incredible our bodies are. That is how powerful they know us. That is [00:30:00] how incredibly powerful that they go, Nope, nope. We need to protect you anyway. That's the way I've seen it for me, and that's the way that I, it was explained to me.
Um, and that's the way that I choose to do it. So if you have a different take on that, that's, I'm not saying that it's wrong, I'm just saying that's my, my way. And for any woman who cannot have a child, there's nothing wrong with you. There's nothing wrong with your temple,
and there's nothing wrong for you to want to have children and not be able to.
But like I always say, you are enough. Okay. I am enough. You are enough. And that is the beauty of learning to love who we [00:31:00] are and what we are as women.
I'm going to have voids in my life. I am not going to get to ride every ride. I'm going to miss out on things of beauty and amazement. I'm going to not taste every ice cream flavor, and I'm sometimes gonna feel like I've tasted more pain than I have joy,
but this is my life. And living it is the joy.
I don't know where
to put all of this, you know, that we go through, [00:32:00] but I do know that it's just part of the journey for me. Whatever you're at with your body and whatever you're getting ready to do, or like if you're older like me and you're getting ready to move past and moved on.
For me, it's just looking back and going. It's been a good ride. That part of me has been a good ride. It's been a good journey. It's been a hard journey. It's always been, I haven't always been the brightest bulb in the batch, you know, didn't make all the right decisions, but I'll take my voids because then I have on this other part of my soul, I have these amazing murals that were painted by myself and by others that I've let in.
And so [00:33:00] I know I'm talking about our health. I didn't even get to the other part, which will come in a different segment, but that's what I'm starting off with and I'm gonna invite you along the journey with me, um, as I go in out of this fruitful stage, I'll call it, and into this other stage. And I haven't figured out a word for it, but it sure as hell ain't barren.
It's something better than that. Um, and I'll think of something, but as I go into that, wherever you're at, just embrace that part because as I get older and I look back and I go through these gates, if you will, of our lives,
it's, it's amazing. [00:34:00] It's amazing.
We have an amazing gift and that is our bodies. So I'm going to learn more about it and share it with you. I'm going to try to be honest as I can and share my journey with you as far as what I've learned and how ignorant I've been about my body, and myths that I thought. Um. And things that I'm doing.
One thing I will tell you is don't take my word for shit. I've lived my experience and have my knowledge. You go get yours, go read different books, go understand different things about your body, about your temple, and start having those conversations. Hell send me stuff. [00:35:00] People text me shit all the time, not text me, but they email me stuff all the time.
Hey, did you know? Boom, boom, boom, boom, boom. And that's how I learn more. That's how I get out of just a certain perspective or I get, that's how I found out the book, your Brain on the Pill. So again, understand as much as you can about you and part of that. Understanding your body.
I wish you the best today and I'm excited about this new journey that I'm on this new stage. Um, and I'm also a little bit scared, okay? I am a lot scared, but I'm also very excited. So. This next few segments are gonna be about health and, um, what I'm finding out [00:36:00] and tell then ladies, tubs.