The Mind of a Child

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Have you ever been asked "What did you do all day?" and struggled to put it into words? Mama, you did everything. In this episode, we come alongside you with the warmth and wisdom of mothers who have been right where you are, reminding you that making a home is one of the most meaningful things you will ever do.

Rooted in Titus 2 and Psalm 90, we walk through the everyday rhythms of a home built with love, from planning and decluttering to cooking, decorating, and supervising little ones, offering practical hacks and grace-filled encouragement every step of the way.

Episode Highlights

00:00 What it means to be "busy at home" from Titus 2:4-5
04:30 Planning your home, writing your family pillars, and starting with the heart (1-2)
11:30 Organizing, cleaning, and the Princess Bride method (3-5)
18:00 Decorating your home and mealtimes (6-7)
33:00 Communication, loose schedules, and supervising children (8-10)

Please send us your questions if you'd like to have them discussed on the podcast: themindofachildpodcast@gmail.com

The Mind of a Child is an early child development podcast that exists to encourage and equip parents to raise their kids to love God and love others. If you're looking for Biblical principles, practical parenting solutions, and science-backed research, our discussions are specifically tailored for you. Our hosts are Leslie Dudley Corbell and Diane Doucet Matthews, who each have a combined 50+ years of experience in the early child parenting space.

Creators and Guests

Host

Diane Doucet Matthews

Wife of Elder, Fellowship Bible Church

Host

Leslie Dudley Corbell

Childhood Services Specialist, Arkansas State

Producer

Daniel Matthews

Rockwell Productions Owner & Operator

What is The Mind of a Child?

The Mind of a Child is produced by Rockwell Productions (www.rockwell-productions.com).

[00:00:00] Leslie Corbell: Hello, I'm Leslie Dudley Corbell. And I'm Diane Doucette Matthews. Welcome to The Mind of a Child.

[00:00:14] Leslie Corbell: We're so glad you've joined us for today's conversation. Today is part two of the '90s mom, and we're gonna talk about what it means to be busy at home So Diane, how did you answer when people asked you, "What did you do today?"

[00:00:30] Diane Matthews: Well, most of the time with four kids at home, I was like, "Uh, I kind of got through the day.

[00:00:36] Diane Matthews: We just put out fires. We just did what we had to do." But I did try to stay to a lo- loose schedule and get through the day, but yeah, that would hit me right between the eyes a lot of times.

[00:00:46] Leslie Corbell: Well, you know, staying at home with the kids all day doesn't really sound that impressive. But that's because people don't know what that really looks like.

[00:00:55] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:00:56] Leslie Corbell: And it's a lot. It is a lot. Let's revisit that

[00:00:59] Diane Matthews: [00:01:00] verse from Titus. Okay. Great. Titus 2:4-5, "They," talking about the older women, "can urge the younger women to love their husbands and children, to be self-controlled and pure, and to be busy at home." And so that's the framework of even the '90s mom and this one today, busy at home.

[00:01:26] Diane Matthews: Leslie, what are some of the subjects that we're gonna be covering?

[00:01:29] Leslie Corbell: Well, there's a lot, because although it didn't sound very impressive, it's actually making a house a home and leading your children- Mm-hmm ... is not only a big job, it's also a very important job.

[00:01:39] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:01:39] Leslie Corbell: And there are so many facets of it. So today what we're gonna cover are planning, decluttering, organizing spaces, cleaning, decorating, cooking, shopping, and supervising children.

[00:01:51] Diane Matthews: Mm.

[00:01:52] Leslie Corbell: So there's a lot that goes on in the day at home. As a mom, whether you work out of the home or work in the [00:02:00] home and stay at home with the children, there's so much to do that it might seem overwhelming. It, it did to me most of the time. So where to begin, Diane?

[00:02:10] Diane Matthews: Well, I want to show the difference or talk about the difference between a home and a house, 'cause they really are so different.

[00:02:20] Diane Matthews: I mean, a house is a structure. It's a building. It's made out of wood or brick and mortar. But when you think about a home, the different components of a home is love, peace, uh, forgiveness, hospitality, grace. It's not about the size or the location or even, uh, you know, how expensive the things are inside of it.

[00:02:52] Diane Matthews: So we're talking about a home here and not a house, and it starts with the heart, the heart of the [00:03:00] mom and the dad.

[00:03:01] Leslie Corbell: It does, and, and so before we begin this list, I, I wanna point out these weren't things that we did every day. Mm-mm. And these aren't things that you can do every day.

[00:03:11] Diane Matthews: Mm-mm.

[00:03:11] Leslie Corbell: God has grown me in many of these things over the years.

[00:03:15] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:03:16] Leslie Corbell: So we're gonna begin, begin a list, and we just don't want it to seem overwhelming.

[00:03:20] Diane Matthews: And we're still growing in some of these. Yes. Even though my kids are gone, I'm still growing in, in making a home.

[00:03:28] Leslie Corbell: So talking about the heart, though, so Proverbs 23:19 I think is a good guide for this. "So listen, my son, and be wise and set your heart on the right path."

[00:03:42] Leslie Corbell: So when we think about our heart, where's our heart oriented, what are we, what's the affections of our heart, where are we looking, you can think about, you know, what is the right path- Mm-hmm ... that God has for us. How does God's design for marriage, and family, and children, and [00:04:00] households guide you when you set your priorities for the day?

[00:04:05] Leslie Corbell: You know, what are you saying yes to?

[00:04:07] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:04:07] Leslie Corbell: What are you saying no to? Saying no to going all the time. Uh, making staying home your first choice in the things that need to be done that day.

[00:04:17] Diane Matthews: And the best choice. Yes. You know? And to, to just make that decision in your mind and your heart that staying home is the best choice, even if you work outside of the home.

[00:04:27] Diane Matthews: Yes. But being home, make it the best choice. Yes.

[00:04:32] Leslie Corbell: And so for me, sometimes, you know, pray. Pray that God would give you that desire- Mm-hmm ... to be at home with your children, to really let that day be rich-

[00:04:44] Diane Matthews: Mm ...

[00:04:44] Leslie Corbell: at home.

[00:04:45] Diane Matthews: Yes. And so the next thing we would, uh, suggest and go to to be home and busy at the home would be planning.

[00:04:55] Diane Matthews: Uh, I love this quote, and there's so many about planning. I ha- I've, I [00:05:00] read through quite, quite a few of them. But good old Benjamin Franklin, "Failing to plan is planning to fail." Most of us have heard that one. But it's really even when talking about a home, planning has to be a part of it. You w- w- once you've decided in your heart that you're gonna be at home, you know, bring your heart home, then there's some plans that need to be made.

[00:05:25] Diane Matthews: And so one of the big suggestions, and, and I've done studies on, you know, bring your heart home or I don't even remember the titles, but, you know, different things like this, um, is to write down your plans. Uh, and there's different titles, but one that I liked was your family pillars or, you know, your family mottos or, you know, you could do whatever, but, uh, and you can add scriptures to it.

[00:05:53] Diane Matthews: For example, um, they could be, uh, respect each other's, [00:06:00] uh, space and time, be honest, uh, make the Sabbath holy, um, you know, for- always offer forgiveness when asked. Uh, oh my goodness, it could go on and on. But just be good stewards of what God has given you. And you know, this is what I loved. Um, a lot of our friends put that on their refrigerator, and I must admit we never did.

[00:06:24] Diane Matthews: And I, that's a regret. I wish we would've, but, you know, same thing, God's grace covers that. But I would suggest in the planning process, you know, put it down on paper, even if you scribble it out, but at least you have it written down, and hopefully you'll do a better job than what we did. Mm-hmm. And it will get somewhere where people can read it, and you can read it to your kids, too.

[00:06:46] Diane Matthews: Well, I- So planning ...

[00:06:47] Leslie Corbell: I do remember you telling a story, though, about something that Hank would say to the children, or maybe you would say to the children when they would go out-

[00:06:55] Diane Matthews: Oh, there was a lot we'd say. Hank would say a whole lot.[00:07:00]

[00:07:01] Leslie Corbell: But wasn't it something as simple as representing the Matthews family- Oh ... and God. And Jesus Christ. Yes, and Jesus Christ. Yes. I mean, so even something as... You did that.

[00:07:09] Diane Matthews: Oh, yes.

[00:07:09] Leslie Corbell: And something as simple as that- I know ... is always a direction to the heart. Yes. You know, when you're walking out the door of the house, what are you- Mm-hmm

[00:07:16] Leslie Corbell: going to carry with you? And what's the-

[00:07:18] Diane Matthews: Actually, when I was thinking through this, I thought, "There would've been less words if we would've written it down." It might've been a little better. But no, uh, verbal, verbalize it, or write it down, or both, you know? Repetition is very important. Yeah. And what a great, great way to ground- Mm

[00:07:36] Diane Matthews: the day,

[00:07:37] Leslie Corbell: to begin it.

[00:07:38] Diane Matthews: Yeah, so I think the next part would be, um, after you've written down the plan or you've, have it in your mind and your heart, uh, is to start planning for your home. So we've talked about your heart and your focus, and now plan for your home. Uh, start focusing on the parts of your house that you really [00:08:00] wanna freshen up, and then, um, you know, put it in a hard order.

[00:08:04] Diane Matthews: Do you wanna start in your bedroom? Do you wanna start in the living room? Do you wanna start in the bathrooms? You know, which, which one do you wanna start in? Um, pick which one first, and here's some suggestions. I don't know about you, but the bathroom cabinets can get very cluttered very fast. Just think of all the little things that you purchase that you never use, or you don't finish and you buy something else.

[00:08:27] Diane Matthews: Uh, so that's a suggestion. The kids' closets. You know, you could pick that. Or, uh, the living room shelves. Those are kind of fun, and they're very visual, and you can see it, and that's kind of fun to start. And so the first thing I would start with is decluttering. And I lo- you know, this is something that is so dear to my heart.

[00:08:49] Diane Matthews: I love to declutter. Um, and this is one of the things that I've done for a long time, even moving, three boxes. Uh, and we can call this [00:09:00] a hack, but I think it's out there and people do it all the time when they're cleaning up. Three boxes. Uh, one is for, uh, trash, one is for donation, and one is what you're gonna keep.

[00:09:14] Diane Matthews: And so when you start declutting, decluttering whatever area you're gonna tackle, have those three areas in mind. And then after that, you're either gonna have to clean out your space or organize it, and we'll talk about those as, as we go on. And then finally, you'll decorate. So that's kind of the order of those things, how they go.

[00:09:35] Diane Matthews: But this is another hack, decluttering hack, that I adopted. Oh, my goodness, the kids were really, really young. Um, but this is how I present it. Just pick a number, a favorite number. What's a favorite number of yours, Leslie? 23. 23. Okay, so 23 objects a day you're gonna throw away And not valuable things.

[00:09:57] Diane Matthews: These are going to be like little [00:10:00] broken pieces or a screw that you don't know, just in a drawer that you don't know where it fits, or a piece of tissue hanging around. Just 23 things that don't belong, that don't need to be anywhere. A broken pencil, um, a, a old mascara, you know, a cotton ball. You know, just 23 things, and if you don't even get up to 23, but it just keeps you going on always clearing out things to make it neat and decluttered.

[00:10:28] Diane Matthews: So pick, you know, just that's, that's a good declutter hack that y- you can start today.

[00:10:35] Leslie Corbell: I have to say that when you mentioned this the other day when we were going over the episode, I'm like, "Okay, I'm gonna try that." Oh. And it was great.

[00:10:43] Diane Matthews: Yeah. Yeah.

[00:10:43] Leslie Corbell: It, it really does work, and once you get on a roll and start doing those things, you can find 23 things.

[00:10:49] Diane Matthews: Oh, yeah. But

[00:10:50] Leslie Corbell: my problem is it might take me 2,300 days- ... of clearing out 23 things.

[00:10:57] Diane Matthews: Well, and I, at first, when I first started it, [00:11:00] I would do it like every other day, and then it'd be like once a week, you know, and every other week. So you kind of get caught up on things. But, um, it's, it's fun to just kind of clean things up and then- Mm-hmm

[00:11:11] Diane Matthews: see the results, and it's like, "Oh, wow, I see what I have here," you know? Yeah. So it is kind of fun.

[00:11:16] Leslie Corbell: That, that's a very manageable-

[00:11:17] Diane Matthews: Yeah ...

[00:11:18] Leslie Corbell: mar-

[00:11:18] Diane Matthews: yeah ... direction. And then next time, pick a lower number.

[00:11:28] Leslie Corbell: Organizing is, for me, it's helpful to do a little at a time, a drawer at a time. Kind of with that same idea. Something I can keep up, something I can do quickly, and it's very manageable.

[00:11:40] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:11:41] Leslie Corbell: And it's helpful to know where things are.

[00:11:43] Diane Matthews: Oh, my goodness. It really is. Mm-hmm. I know for me, I tend to run late at times.

[00:11:49] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. And so to know where things are, it's, it helps me so much. If, if I don't know where anything is, it just, you know, adds time, more [00:12:00] time that I'm late, you know? But if I know where it is, it's just so important for me to have things in their place, you know?

[00:12:08] Leslie Corbell: And the clutter and organizing go together a whole lot, especially, and, and, not, and for me, and I can see how much, when clutter is there- Mm

[00:12:19] Leslie Corbell: I can't be organized because there's too much taking up valuable space, not only in the drawer, but also in my head.

[00:12:24] Diane Matthews: Yeah.

[00:12:25] Leslie Corbell: So, yeah, decluttering and organizing things-

[00:12:28] Diane Matthews: And so there's always- ... saves so much time ... something to do at home. Mm. You know? And it's making it, um, easier for people to function effectively in the home, not just you.

[00:12:39] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. It's for the whole family to function more effectively. So, yeah, it, it has its spot. So, uh, yeah, use your time wisely. So let's move on to cleaning. Doesn't everybody love to clean? I can't say this is my favorite, but I do like- Yeah ... to organize and declutter, but cleaning [00:13:00]

[00:13:00] Leslie Corbell: I find it helpful to have supplies in every bathroom-

[00:13:03] Diane Matthews: Mm

[00:13:04] Leslie Corbell: so that I can just quickly do that bathroom- Mm-hmm ... when I'm in there, not have to go get the Pine-Sol or the bleach or whatever I'm using- Mm-hmm ... from another bathroom and bring it there. Just saves some steps and helps me be very efficient.

[00:13:17] Diane Matthews: Yeah, and sometimes if your bathroom's too small, just make sure you have a good little caddy that you can carry it from place to place.

[00:13:24] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. You know, 'cause sometimes you just don't have the room to put it in your bathroom. Um, and some people like to get it all done at once, you know, and, um, you know, just whatever suits you. And sometimes you can get on a roll, and you're going, "Oh, wow, I'm, I'm just gonna go get it done, just get it finished."

[00:13:39] Leslie Corbell: Yeah. So whatever works for you is, is good. One thing, one k- cleaning hack for along the way that I've enjoyed is what I call the Princess Bride- ... method. And so it's a, kind of paraphrasing a scene there. So are you gonna get your chore mostly done or all [00:14:00] done? Because mostly done means it's slightly undone.

[00:14:04] Leslie Corbell: Whereas all done means there's nothing more to do. Mm. So for me, what that looks like is I really love washing dishes, so I will wash my dishes and set them on the counter to dry. What I don't love is drying the dishes and putting them away. So for me to get that chore all done means I need to dry the dishes and put them away in the cabinet.

[00:14:27] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:14:28] Leslie Corbell: And it makes a tremendous amount of difference. Instead of leaving the house slightly undone- Uh, right ... so-

[00:14:34] Diane Matthews: It's not, there's not a closure to that.

[00:14:37] Leslie Corbell: Yes. You gotta close that loop. Now, I know your family had a, a different way of talking- Well- ... about it.

[00:14:42] Diane Matthews: Well, the way I do it now is, like, the closure for me is if I wash them in the sink, I'll put them in a dry- in the dryer.

[00:14:50] Diane Matthews: Listen to me. I'll put them in the, uh, dishwasher to dry, and then I'll just go put them up later. So my closure is just to get them out [00:15:00] of my sight. And let them dry on their own. So that works for me.

[00:15:06] Leslie Corbell: But what did your family call that? Instead of calling it Princess Bride or closing the loop, you all called it- Well-

[00:15:11] Leslie Corbell: had a different phrase.

[00:15:12] Diane Matthews: You know, leave, leave things better than how you found it. You know? So- Mm-hmm ... even if your, you know, your bedroom or if you're using something from somebody else or just anything, any situation, um, you, you're sleeping in somebody's room, or you're in a room, your bedroom. You know, you wake up in the morning and you're making your bed, you make it better than you found it.

[00:15:39] Diane Matthews: You know? Mm. The bathroom, you've used the bathroom, and you took a shower, and your towel and your face rag and all your stuff, leave it better than you found it. So- Mm ... that's kinda like, you know-

[00:15:50] Leslie Corbell: Yeah ...

[00:15:51] Diane Matthews: it's done. You've brought closure to that area. You, you just don't wanna leave a trail. Like when you get out of the car- I like to take everything out of the car [00:16:00] with me.

[00:16:00] Diane Matthews: You know, my, my cup, my glasses, my purse, my... if there's trash, just get it all out. You know, leave it better than how- Mm-hmm ... I found it, so the next person who gets in my car, it's not a mess.

[00:16:12] Leslie Corbell: Yeah.

[00:16:12] Diane Matthews: You know?

[00:16:13] Leslie Corbell: So that's two hacks, then. Either adopt the, is it almost done or is it all done? Yeah. Or leave it better than you found it.

[00:16:23] Leslie Corbell: Yeah. So I can take one of those ideas.

[00:16:25] Diane Matthews: And you can't do it all the time, you know, 'cause- Sometimes you're running late. That's always my motto. Well, sometimes I'm running late. I just can't, you know. Some people really schedule their cleanings, and I've heard about that. I never did that. Oh. But what's a sample of a schedule?

[00:16:43] Leslie Corbell: I find it helpful to think about, okay, on Thursdays I do laundry, on Mondays I dust, you know, to kind of think just so that I get going in a routine of- Mm-hmm ... and weeks pass quickly, but if that day means something to me, then it's a lot easier for me to do that without, [00:17:00] almost on au- autopilot.

[00:17:01] Diane Matthews: Yeah. That's great.

[00:17:02] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. Like M, Monday, mop. No, I was- Mm-hmm ... just trying to think that, but, but no, I never did do that, and I had friends that loved it, and it worked so well- Mm-hmm ... for them. But I never did do it. I think with four kids, just, and I don't know, I just did laundry every day. Mm-hmm. So it was like, eh, that's not working for me, you know?

[00:17:21] Diane Matthews: So, um- Mm-hmm. But, you know, bottom line, figure out what works best for you in the cleaning realm. Um, I know when my kids were in school and I started driving, w- I had quite a drive back and forth, and I know when we first started, um, uh, one was half-day, and so I was really making a trip back and forth quite a few times.

[00:17:46] Diane Matthews: Um, Hank suggested, and actually when he sugges- suggested this the first time I was kind of hurt, like, "Uh," 'cause he said, "Why don't we get someone to clean the house once a month?" And I was like- Mm ... "Uh, you don't think I'm doing a good [00:18:00] job?" But no, it was just to help me get caught up once a month. And, you know, I know a lot of people can't afford that.

[00:18:06] Diane Matthews: Um, and I didn't feel like we could either, you know? But we got somebody to come in once a month and just kind of get everything caught up, and then I would keep it going for a month until it- Mm-hmm ... kind of got, you know, didn't last. Um, but that's a suggestion, too, to just kind of get you back on track.

[00:18:25] Leslie Corbell: I could never do that.

[00:18:27] Leslie Corbell: It wasn't something that, that was in our budget, so I had, did have to find times to get it done. And, and I would say most the time I cleaned in bits and pieces. Mm. I cleaned along the way as messes happened, as it came to light.

[00:18:41] Diane Matthews: Yeah.

[00:18:42] Leslie Corbell: But my husband did help me on the weekends, either by watching the children, or he would help out sometimes too, so that was- Yeah, Hank was a big helper

[00:18:50] Diane Matthews: too.

[00:18:50] Leslie Corbell: Yeah.

[00:18:50] Diane Matthews: He really, really did help a lot, which is so, so helpful. Okay, so here's some cleaning hacks. Now, these are real, real fun, but I'm just [00:19:00] gonna mention a few. And yep, a lot of y'all probably do this, but, like, if there's a big sticky spot on the ground, uh, just put a warm towel over it for a minute or two and then wipe it up, and it just comes off so easy.

[00:19:13] Diane Matthews: Just quick and easy. If your, the upholstery on your sofa or your couch is kind of smelly, just sprinkle some, uh, baking soda, let it sit for 10, 15, 20 minutes, and then vacuum it up. Smells. It re- definitely reduces the smell if it doesn't... Depends on if you have animals or what's been on there. But that's a real good one.

[00:19:33] Diane Matthews: And then when you're dusting or cleaning a room, always go from top to bottom. You know, you just pull the dirt down to the floor, and then you do your mopping and your, uh, vacuuming last. So, or vacuuming then mopping. And this, this is the best one. My mom used to always, um, do this and tell me to do this.

[00:19:53] Diane Matthews: Lemon peels, uh, you can freeze them or just do them fresh. It works better frozen. But just [00:20:00] put them in your garbage disposal, and it will just clean out the garbage dispell- uh, garbage disposal smell. Mm. That's good. And it just smells good, and it cleans the whole thing. And we were on a septic tank for 20 years, and it didn't affect it at all, so some people- That's good

[00:20:14] Diane Matthews: don't wanna put things down, so yeah.

[00:20:16] Leslie Corbell: That's a good one.

[00:20:17] Diane Matthews: There's

[00:20:17] Leslie Corbell: some hacks. The only, the only hack I have is, again, because I like to wash dishes and get everything put away, and I don't like leaving things sitting out, o- one thing is to is, after cooking supper-

[00:20:30] Diane Matthews: Uh-huh ...

[00:20:30] Leslie Corbell: I get water in the skillet or the pot or the pans, whatever I've used to prepare dinner.

[00:20:36] Leslie Corbell: Water in them pretty quickly so that they wash much easier.

[00:20:41] Diane Matthews: Oh.

[00:20:41] Leslie Corbell: So nothing sticky, gross-

[00:20:44] Diane Matthews: Amen ...

[00:20:44] Leslie Corbell: that you're having to get out of there. Just quickly then can rinse the skillet, wipe it down. Mm-hmm. So that, that's mine.

[00:20:51] Diane Matthews: I'm a soaker queen. 'Cause I- Yep. I have to soak things. I don't like dishes

[00:20:54] Leslie Corbell: sitting

[00:20:54] Diane Matthews: out. Mm-mm.

[00:20:55] Diane Matthews: Me either. Uh, yeah- Mm-hmm ... 'cause then that, all that stuff just gets hard.

[00:20:58] Leslie Corbell: Your, your work becomes [00:21:00] bigger. Mm-hmm. Your chore is much bigger then. Yeah. It's much quicker to get it done.

[00:21:03] Diane Matthews: Yes. Now let's move to planning useful spaces in your home. You know, and it's the same thing. You're gonna be home, and you're gonna be busy at home.

[00:21:15] Diane Matthews: You wanna enjoy your home. So making your home have c- a comfortable atmosphere, uh, that's relaxing and fits the needs of everybody in your home, and make them visually pleasing is so, uh, it's beneficial for everybody, and it doesn't have to be expensive. I mean, we're gonna have some ideas later on on decorating that can be very minimal, minimal on cost, but just it'll be pleasing to the, to the eye.

[00:21:48] Diane Matthews: And so you'll want to be home. So the first one is the administration area. You wanna take this one first?

[00:21:59] Leslie Corbell: The only thing I [00:22:00] would really wanna say about it is when you choose these areas and kind of look at spaces, think about how they'll be used, what you'll need for that space, and also how that, what that space will look like and how it will operate with young children.

[00:22:12] Leslie Corbell: Right. So are you in a space, a place to do these things where you can still supervise, kind of know what's going on with your kids? Is there something for them to do while you're in that space-

[00:22:21] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm ...

[00:22:22] Leslie Corbell: with you? Yes. And just have those ideas in your

[00:22:26] Diane Matthews: mind. Yeah, 'cause when we were talking about having a desk, if you wanna do your Bible study and have a journal, make sure you have a basket full of things for them to play with, even Bible objec- I mean, Bible, uh, figures and even maybe, uh, Bible stories.

[00:22:42] Diane Matthews: The other night- Mm ... when the grandkids were here, it was just relaxed time, and I put on the Bible story of creation and then when Jesus was born. They loved it- Mm ... just listening to it. So, uh, yeah, just have little things that they can do also. Mm-hmm. And I was thinking if that works with your admin [00:23:00] area, your, your office area, make sure you put scissors and all those little sharp areas up a little bit- Mm-hmm

[00:23:08] Diane Matthews: so they don't get it on a bookshelf or something. But, uh, yeah, make it to where you can, uh, be busy and get your, you know, pay your bills or do- Mm-hmm ... whatever you need to do or, you know, your quiet time and the kids are busy also.

[00:23:21] Leslie Corbell: Yeah, they might have their own little bills to pay.

[00:23:24] Diane Matthews: Oh, that's right, or cash register.

[00:23:26] Diane Matthews: Little cash register. My kids had a little cash register- Yeah ... that they played with with money. Um, okay, so the next one, the storage or attic. This is my only thing that I do, and, um, like, for different holidays, like Christmas has red Tupperwares, and I make sure that they are stacked together and I have names of what's in it on the top and the side.

[00:23:48] Diane Matthews: So I can see from the top or the side what's in my boxes. So just different colors for different holidays. Anything else about that with the storage?

[00:23:59] Leslie Corbell: No, but [00:24:00] how about crafts and creativity? Oh. When you

[00:24:01] Diane Matthews: think

[00:24:01] Leslie Corbell: about spaces for that, what do you...?

[00:24:03] Diane Matthews: Well, you know, it depends on if you have a space.

[00:24:06] Leslie Corbell: Mm-hmm.

[00:24:07] Diane Matthews: You know, you might have to put it in a Tupperware and store it.

[00:24:10] Diane Matthews: Well, some stuff could melt, so you have to be careful where you store that. Um, but you know, God is such a, a... Well, He is the creator of all things, and I think He has made us as creators, and I think it... I know I love to create, and I know you do, too. Mm-hmm. You're a painter, uh, and other things also. But, um, just to have a box available with all your creative things in it so that you can use it yourself, but also have your kids doing it, too.

[00:24:44] Diane Matthews: So, um, I think it feeds our souls, and it feeds our children's souls, too, but just have it available. Um, I don't know. Where would you store yours?

[00:24:57] Leslie Corbell: I d- I have a cabinet [00:25:00] carved out- Yeah ... where I keep my things.

[00:25:01] Diane Matthews: Yeah, I do too. Actually, I even put some in, uh, my hall cabinet and on, on the two s- top shelves, and I have it in clear pull-out bins so that I know what's in each one so I can see what's there.

[00:25:14] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. So but limited space, you know, some of, you know, might be a little bit more difficult to do that. Y-

[00:25:20] Leslie Corbell: yeah, I think the biggest thing to think about is how, how can you be intentional in this space? How can you be intentional in the way you set it up so that you use it, you're likely to use it, and how can you be intentional about carving out ways to supervise your children, have them join you in whatever the activity is.

[00:25:36] Leslie Corbell: And

[00:25:36] Diane Matthews: you can see what's in it. Yeah. And you can get to it easily, you know? So it's, there's some things to figure out to be at home comfortably. Um, okay, the last is arranging furniture and decorating, which that's kind of where you wanna start. But until you do the decluttering and the cleaning and, [00:26:00] um, organizing, sometimes it's hard to do this.

[00:26:03] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. So did you move your furniture a lot?

[00:26:05] Leslie Corbell: I did not. I did not.

[00:26:07] Diane Matthews: I must admit, I did it often. Mm. Maybe I'm just a unsettled soul, I don't know. But I just was like, "I need a change." You know, you can buy those little, um, those little footings or they're little disks that you can put under your furniture, and you can slide- Mm

[00:26:22] Diane Matthews: your furniture around. I would do it all the time. Maybe that's why my back's bad too. But yeah, I love to move furniture. It kind of gave me just a refreshing... Like, it's like almost like a new house. Yeah. Um, so I did that. And, uh, so you know, it's the same thing. If you don't enjoy the way it's set up, it's not functioning properly.

[00:26:45] Diane Matthews: It's gotta flow so people can walk through it. Um...

[00:26:50] Leslie Corbell: And I think that's important to think about. How, again, w- we mentioned this before, how you're gonna use the space.

[00:26:57] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:26:57] Leslie Corbell: Is there an area that's inviting, that [00:27:00] invites you to sit down and read, that invites the children to sit down and have a quiet moment?

[00:27:05] Leslie Corbell: Is there a space where maybe two can talk together?

[00:27:10] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm.

[00:27:10] Leslie Corbell: Is there a space for a table, for games and activities that are easy to set up and take down? You know, how can you, w- no matter the size of the space, how can you utilize it- That's right ... in a very intentional way, and does it invite action. Oh. And invite activity and interaction and conversation and games and-

[00:27:30] Diane Matthews: Yes

[00:27:31] Leslie Corbell: and like you said, having a place to walk through, but not such a large space that there's chaos. You don't want a large empty space because then that's gonna invite... Unless that's what you're seeking- Yes ... which is a lot of jumping up and down and running and playing. It's, it's wise to create spaces like that very intentionally.

[00:27:51] Leslie Corbell: Today we're gonna play indoors, it's raining outside. We're gonna push the furniture to the back so we have a big open space. But I don't think you'd wanna just leave- Right ... a large open [00:28:00] space- That's

[00:28:00] Diane Matthews: so wise ... every day. Because, you know, even, like, when you have people over, you want it close enough to where you can have community- Mm-hmm

[00:28:07] Diane Matthews: and you can have conversation and interaction. Yes. Yeah. But then able to push it back out for the kids to play. Very, very good. So let's talk about, uh, making it visually pleasing to the eye. So there's so many things that we can do. Talk about your artwork, and it really wasn't very- Mm ... expensive, but you put that on your walls and it's beautiful.

[00:28:31] Leslie Corbell: Yeah. I just painted some paintings and Had 'em framed and hung them up, and it, it was broughten- it was... I enjoyed creating the paintings, and when I have time, I can paint. It's hard to find the time to do oil painting because- Mm ... it's so messy, unfortunately. But, um, no, I do enjoy-

[00:28:48] Diane Matthews: Yes ...

[00:28:49] Leslie Corbell: using those then to decorate.

[00:28:50] Leslie Corbell: Do you have,

[00:28:51] Diane Matthews: um, some pictures from the kids that they did?

[00:28:54] Leslie Corbell: I do. Yeah, I... When the children were younger, I had those up. I don't have as many up anymore.

[00:28:59] Diane Matthews: Hmm. [00:29:00] I know you have, uh, uh, Christmas ornaments that they've done.

[00:29:04] Leslie Corbell: Yes.

[00:29:05] Diane Matthews: Yes. Yes. Yes. Anything like that. Yeah. And I know for us, when the kids were younger, their art I would put up.

[00:29:13] Diane Matthews: You know? And you can buy, um, reused frames at any kind of thrift store or, you know, resale shops. The, the decorating does not have to be expensive. And kids and even your husband or wife will love just family pictures up on the wall. You can get them enlarged pretty inexpensively. Another way to decorate is plants.

[00:29:39] Diane Matthews: Oh my goodness, I... You know, if you were right here in my home, you would see I have plants all over the walls in all rooms. I think it just re- just freshens up a room. It just makes it so homey and comfortable. You can do plants. I have, uh, two ideas or two examples. My daughter-in-law, she wanted to, uh, make [00:30:00] her coffee area just real, um, inviting to her in the morning and just kind of simple, simplify the, the, the whole routine.

[00:30:10] Diane Matthews: And so she bought this really, a bowl that she loved, and she puts sugar cubes in it. And so in the morning, instead of, you know, just taking a scoop of sugar and letting it, you know, get all over the place, she just drops from her pretty, pretty bowl, and one little drop of sugar. And it just makes the whole, uh, you know- getting coffee event just more fun, you know?

[00:30:37] Diane Matthews: And so one thing I do... What? What were you gonna say?

[00:30:39] Leslie Corbell: No, I was just gonna say, I love elevating a space with either silver plate, vintage silver plate, crystal bowls, and like using beautiful items like that on a daily basis.

[00:30:51] Diane Matthews: I do, too.

[00:30:52] Leslie Corbell: That's, that's important to me, too.

[00:30:54] Diane Matthews: I do, too, and like I, I have some things around the house that were my mom's or my grandmother's, [00:31:00] and you, you know, you can maybe find something that's your aunt's or, or anything, and it just brings back a good memory.

[00:31:07] Diane Matthews: You know, it makes you smile in your heart. You know- Mm-hmm ... it's like, "Oh, this is so sweet." So just do things like that around your home that make it nice. Like, I have crystal little rose bowls that I- Mm ... put my s- my glasses in or, you know, anything that... Like lipsticks in another room, and use pretty wic- wicker baskets to put your toys in for the kids.

[00:31:28] Diane Matthews: Just make things i- and, and just make things that you'd like around. Put those things around the house that you really like, not things that are matchy-matchy as much as things that you really enjoy looking at, and they're pretty. And that will help your decorating around your house. Okay. So what about cooking and shopping?

[00:31:47] Diane Matthews: What did you do?

[00:31:49] Leslie Corbell: We ate most of our meals at home and still eat most of our meals at home. Uh-huh. We carry that into this, this, uh, century as well.

[00:31:57] Diane Matthews: This century. Wow, that [00:32:00] sounds old. But

[00:32:02] Leslie Corbell: mealtimes were so fun, and food was fun. We really leaned into just the wonder and joy that even mundane things can have.

[00:32:11] Diane Matthews: Uh-huh.

[00:32:11] Leslie Corbell: You know, whether it was making teddy bear toast or bugs- ... and worms spaghetti. Yeah. I mean, even now, Samuel, who is, like I said, 13 months I guess he is now, when he started eating pasta, when I first gave it to him, I was like, "Samuel, do you want some pasta?" I said, "Pasta, pasta." And so now- He does it ... he always asks for pasta.

[00:32:34] Leslie Corbell: Yes. And so it's just fun to, just to join them in that wonder and joy of eating a solid meal. Yeah, well- It can just be simple. If- ...

[00:32:43] Diane Matthews: we have to eat.

[00:32:44] Leslie Corbell: Yeah, and it just brings laughter into the moment- Mm ... and just really is a great bonding time. So there's so many opportunities for family- Yeah ... around food.

[00:32:58] Diane Matthews: I love that you [00:33:00] made it so fun. Um, you know, I, I think we did cr- uh, you know, little trees for broccoli- Mm-hmm ... but we weren't quite as in ants on a, on a log with, uh, celery- Yeah ... with peanut butter and raisins. Um, but one thing we did do at, at, with our shopping, I mean, now online shopping. Now that, let me go back to that, the shopping.

[00:33:20] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. Online shopping is so, um, easy nowadays. Uh, but I would go and shop at Walmart or wherever, the grocery store, but, um, and buy for, like, a week of meals, and I know that was so antiquated. Um- Mm ... but that's what I did. Mm. But now I can shop online, and it's just delivered to my door, which I'm sure most moms do nowadays.

[00:33:48] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. It's just so much easier and quicker.

[00:33:51] Leslie Corbell: But- I like thinking of it as retro.

[00:33:53] Diane Matthews: Oh.

[00:33:53] Leslie Corbell: I, but I did go to the store, and still do go to the store- Yeah ... most every day because it's convenient. Yeah. The store's right down the [00:34:00] street. But- Mm-hmm ... and I don't always know what I wanna eat that day. But yes, I, I still prefer to shop in the store.

[00:34:06] Diane Matthews: Yeah, yeah, and I do most of the time, but yeah, I do if it's a big order- Mm-hmm ... I, I kinda do the online thing. Uh, but they have, that, that's a real convenient thing to do online, so that's a nice thing. Um, but you know, uh, the, setting the table and eating, I think that's so valuable to, for a family to have meals at home as often as possible.

[00:34:31] Diane Matthews: There's so much that can happen at a table, conversation and sharing and learning to take turns, listening. There's just so much that can happen at the table. I would encourage being at home and having dinner or lunch or whatever you can, breakfast, as often as possible. But one thing that we did was, uh, we tried to do family-style meals, just, uh, just out of convenience.

[00:34:58] Diane Matthews: Uh, and also that Hank [00:35:00] would wait for me to sit down, so it was kinda like I had to get all the food on the table. Um, so I'd get the food on the table, and then we'd start, start eating. But that's a good way to make the kids wait and everybody eat together. If you're feeding the kids first, like what happens on a, a buffet, the kids eat first, and then they're finished, and you're just sitting down, and then they're- Mm

[00:35:20] Diane Matthews: you know, all over the place. So, you know, it's a good practice to try to get them used to doing and teaching them to sit down- Mm ... and listen and stay seated in their seat. So anyway, that's a... And simple meals were a win for us. Just nothing real fancy, just food on the table, good nutrition, just make it simple.

[00:35:40] Leslie Corbell: We were clean eating long before clean eating was a thing. Yeah, that's right. Yeah, chicken, broccoli. There was, wasn't a whole lot of extra sauces and all of that. Mm-mm, no. It was very clean.

[00:35:50] Diane Matthews: No, just, just plain.

[00:35:51] Leslie Corbell: And I don't know if that was a '90s mom thing, but-

[00:35:55] Diane Matthews: I don't know

[00:35:55] Leslie Corbell: Maybe?

[00:35:56] Diane Matthews: I don't know. Let's, let's claim it.

[00:35:58] Diane Matthews: Yes, [00:36:00] let's claim that too. Let's claim that one too. Ah.

[00:36:01] Leslie Corbell: And so we've, we've talked a lot about, you know, different ways to prepare the physical space, but, you know, uh, we don't wanna neglect communication. Mm. Because part of being busy at home sometimes can be working on communication, building communication, just having healthy communication in the home.

[00:36:20] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm. So think before you speak.

[00:36:22] Leslie Corbell: Mm-hmm.

[00:36:23] Diane Matthews: Be a good listener. Um, kind words of encouragement. Uh- Quick to forgive, you know? Yeah. There's all kinds of things that we, you know, 'cause that, that can make the difference between a joyful day and a really sad day. Mm-hmm, that's right. So yeah, communication is important.

[00:36:44] Diane Matthews: And did you have a schedule? We can talk about schedules. How did yours work? Well, I mean, I wasn't a real, real strict with schedule, but just a loose schedule helped me. Um, because my kids went to Mother's Day Out, like, when they were all young [00:37:00] just, uh, Tuesday, Thursday mornings. So on the Monday, Wednesday, Friday, it was, you know, um, we did breakfast of course, but we would play outside, and then we'd do a craft.

[00:37:12] Diane Matthews: Uh, and then, or, or vice versa, do a craft and then go play outside depending on the weather. Uh, and then they would either have, uh, book time or some kind of time or a 30-minute, you know, little show that they could watch while I was doing lunch, and then we'd have lunch together, and then nap time. You know, I just knew what was gonna happen that day, and then Hank would come home.

[00:37:36] Diane Matthews: You know, so I needed some kind of plan in my mind just so that I knew what was gonna be next. So it was loose. Yeah. It was loose. So-

[00:37:46] Leslie Corbell: And you were able to be very flexible then with it. Oh,

[00:37:48] Diane Matthews: yeah. That's, that's- I, I-

[00:37:49] Leslie Corbell: Yeah ... flexible. But it gave you some structure.

[00:37:51] Diane Matthews: Some structure. Yeah. And some people like, you know, real structure.

[00:37:55] Diane Matthews: I couldn't really do that. I had to be a little flexible. Mm. But I, I just kinda knew where I was [00:38:00] going, the next thing. What about you?

[00:38:02] Leslie Corbell: I would say the same.

[00:38:03] Diane Matthews: Yeah.

[00:38:03] Leslie Corbell: Yeah, the

[00:38:04] Diane Matthews: same. Just kinda what was next.

[00:38:05] Leslie Corbell: Yeah.

[00:38:05] Diane Matthews: Yeah.

[00:38:07] Leslie Corbell: And so this brings us to our next one as we kinda get to the end of the list, which is supervision of children.

[00:38:12] Leslie Corbell: Mm. And we, we talked about it a little bit in the first episode about '90s moms, uh, but with all of these activities we've just given as part of our day, we do wanna kinda think about that again. So what are your children doing while you're doing all these things? And so yes, '90s moms really did supervise, but here's an example of what that might have looked like.

[00:38:33] Leslie Corbell: So Samuel, so I watch Samuel during the day while his mama works, and so he, when he was, you know, 11 and 12 months and learning to start walking and s- was standing, and he had a little wagon that was in his corral. 'Cause he has this little wooden corral that he plays in. It's a nice size, and when he was 11 and 12 months and standing and holding onto this wagon, I really needed to be in the corral with him.

[00:38:59] Leslie Corbell: Mm.

[00:38:59] Diane Matthews: [00:39:00] Mm-hmm.

[00:39:00] Leslie Corbell: Because his, he wasn't quite able to, you know, he wanted to push the wagon, but he also would fall a lot.

[00:39:07] Diane Matthews: Yeah. You know? Yeah, yeah.

[00:39:08] Leslie Corbell: And so, or the wagon would tip over on him. So I would be there with him as he was standing up and trying to push it so it didn't get, didn't go too far. But- 12 and a half months or even 12 months, he's starting to stand up and push the wagon, and I could be at the sink washing dishes, watching him play- Um,

[00:39:28] Diane Matthews: yes.

[00:39:28] Leslie Corbell: Mm-hmm ... letting, giving him that little bit of independence and freedom to navigate the balance- Mm-hmm ... to hold onto it, and to be able to push the wagon by himself. And he was safe. Yeah, yeah. And so it, those, so supervision w- is this gra- no matter the age of the child, it's this gradual, I'm gonna watch you and kind of assess the risk, assess the danger.

[00:39:50] Leslie Corbell: What are you able to handle? What might need my help in order you to make that next step? Uh-huh. And so I think there's just a really fine balance of this supervision and this [00:40:00] idea of what our children, w- how far can we step away and do these other things- Yeah ... without just leaving them? Yeah. So that's something to keep in mind, that they have that space to do that.

[00:40:12] Diane Matthews: Yeah, and as they get older, like, uh, they, it was worded supervision freedom- Yeah ... or some, some things that said unsupervised freedom. Well, th- Mm ... w- it wasn't unsupervised, except when they got really older, you know, they could ride their bike in the neighborhood- Yes ... and we told them what time to come back.

[00:40:30] Diane Matthews: Yes. And so I guess that could be looked at as unsupervised. But when- Mm-hmm ... when they were, you know, six, five, six, seven, they were out in the backyard playing in the creek or, you know- Mm ... right over there in the garden or something, and we always- We al- ... I was out in the back with them.

[00:40:46] Leslie Corbell: Yeah.

[00:40:46] Diane Matthews: You know? So-

[00:40:46] Leslie Corbell: Or you could look out the window at least if they- Yeah, yeah

[00:40:49] Leslie Corbell: yeah, you knew what was going on. Yeah. Kind of ... And so with all this list of things, though, still, the one thing I wanna come back to when the, when the, when you're asked, "What did you do all day?" The biggest thing I [00:41:00] did all day was play with my kids.

[00:41:01] Diane Matthews: Mm, yes.

[00:41:02] Leslie Corbell: Interact with them, read stories to them. Kiss them when they fell and skinned their knee.

[00:41:09] Leslie Corbell: You know, those are... There's the real heart-

[00:41:13] Diane Matthews: Mm-hmm ... of the day- That's good ... is

[00:41:14] Leslie Corbell: this time with your kids.

[00:41:16] Diane Matthews: That's right. And the only thing I'd add to that was I was very deliberate at looking them in the eyes. Mm-hmm. And I would make them, "Look at mommy's eyes." Yeah. "Look at mommy's eyes." Yeah. You know, so with all that other stuff going on.

[00:41:31] Diane Matthews: Yeah. 'Cause, you know, you can just go by and get busy and do things, and you're not, you're not looking- Yeah ... face-to-face or eye-to-eye, so. Yes. Yeah. Find,

[00:41:40] Leslie Corbell: find that time. Make that

[00:41:41] Diane Matthews: time- Mm-hmm ...

[00:41:42] Leslie Corbell: for that face-to-face, eye-to-eye, those- Mm-hmm ... those special

[00:41:46] Diane Matthews: moments. So if you're a younger woman, we're encouraging you to, um, turn your heart tow- toward home.

[00:41:53] Diane Matthews: If you're an older woman, we're encouraging you to, uh, mentor a younger woman, uh, [00:42:00] to turn their heart to our home. Uh, that's why we're, we're, uh, doing this section here. Because the '90s, I guess we were really more at home. Well, we had our struggles- Yeah, we had our struggles ... too then. We had our struggles.

[00:42:14] Diane Matthews: Absolutely. But yeah. Absolutely. Yeah. But it is, but we are

[00:42:17] Leslie Corbell: instructed to encourage, urge, train, teach- Mm-hmm ... depending on what version- Yeah,

[00:42:22] Diane Matthews: what

[00:42:23] Leslie Corbell: version ... of the Bible you're reading- Mm-hmm ... to, to encourage the young women to be busy at home.

[00:42:32] Leslie Corbell: Looking back, I do see how the Lord uses all these mundane, busy practices and tasks and things of the day, chores of the day, to also bless our families and our communities, and really to bless us too. I know some of the verses that urge, encourage, teach, and train. That's something we're called to do. So I do wanna close with a verse of encouragement, and this is from Psalm 90:12, "Teach [00:43:00] us to number our days that we may gain a heart of wisdom."

[00:43:04] Leslie Corbell: So when we number our days or hours or our minutes, when we look at all the things that we just listed to do, and align our priorities and our heart to God's design for marriage and family, we do gain wisdom. Looking back, I see how the Lord uses all of these mundane, busy tasks of ordering a home to bless our families, our future, and ultimately to bring glory to Him.

[00:43:29] Leslie Corbell: When you are at home with your family, cherish the joy that you will inevitably find within it that truly blesses you all your days.

[00:43:39] Diane Matthews: Mm. Lord, we thank You so much for, uh, giving us family and giving us homes and giving us shelter and being our great shepherd. Lord, teach us to number our days and to, uh, honor You every day [00:44:00] in ways that You want us to.

[00:44:02] Diane Matthews: We thank You for this time. We pray that it will bless the hearts of those that hear, and we pray all this in Your Son's precious name. Amen.

[00:44:14] Leslie Corbell: Thanks for listening. Check out our Instagram at The Mind of a Child Pod, or you can email us at themindofachildpodcast@gmail.com

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