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You know that sinking feeling when you wake up with a hangover and think: “I’m never doing this again”? We’ve all been there. But what happens when you follow through? Sonia Kahlon and Kathleen Killen can tell you, because they did it! They went from sisters-in-law, to Sisters in Sobriety.
In this podcast, Sonia and Kathleen invite you into their world, as they navigate the ups and downs of sobriety, explore stories of personal growth and share their journey of wellness and recovery.
Get ready for some real, honest conversations about sobriety, addiction, and everything in between. Episodes will cover topics such as: reaching emotional sobriety, how to make the decision to get sober, adopting a more mindful lifestyle, socializing without alcohol, and much more.
Whether you’re sober-curious, seeking inspiration and self-care through sobriety, or embracing the alcohol-free lifestyle already… Tune in for a weekly dose of vulnerability, mutual support and much needed comic relief. Together, let’s celebrate the transformative power of sisterhood in substance recovery!
Kathleen Killen is a registered psychotherapist (qualifying) and certified coach based in Ontario, Canada. Her practice is centered on relational therapy and she specializes in couples and working with individuals who are navigating their personal relationships.
Having been through many life transitions herself, Kathleen has made it her mission to help others find the support and communication they need in their closest relationships. To find out more about Kathleen’s work, check out her website.
Sonia Kahlon is a recovery coach and former addict. She grappled with high-functioning alcohol use disorder throughout her life, before getting sober in 2016.
Over the last five years, she has appeared on successful sobriety platforms, such as the Story Exchange, the Sobriety Diaries podcast and the Sober Curator, to tell her story of empowerment and addiction recovery, discuss health and midlife sobriety, and share how she is thriving without alcohol.
Your sobriety success story starts today, with Kathleen and Sonia. Just press play!
[00:00:00] Sonia: Hi sisters, and welcome to another Q& A episode of [00:01:00] Sisters in Sobriety. And today we are tackling a hot topic which is staying sober while on vacation. So let's dive deep into how to keep your recovery journey strong, even when you are sipping mocktails poolside.
[00:01:15] Sonia: So Jill from Houston asks, I'm going to an all inclusive resort with my husband and a few friends. I haven't had a drink in six weeks and would like to stay sober for the vacation, but I don't know how. vacations mean stepping away from the routine. So you say hello to adventure and relaxation, but they also toss in a few curveballs for those of us dedicated to staying sober.
[00:01:38] Sonia: From celebratory dinners, Boat rides and poolside lounging. It can feel like there are temptations around every corner, but don't worry. Today's episode is packed with your burning questions and some tips on how to navigate these situations. So get ready to pack your bags with some extra tools and confidence on this trip.
[00:01:59] Sonia: [00:02:00] Let's make your next vacation memorable for all the right reasons, starting right now. So let's talk about some common triggers for drinking on vacation and how to avoid them. So vacations are a well deserved break from the usual, that also introduce several triggers that might challenge your sobriety.
[00:02:20] Sonia: Let's explore some common settings where these triggers might appear, and then how you can effectively manage them. Social gatherings and activities, whether it's a beach party or a dinner with friends, social events often involve alcohol. A festive atmosphere might also heighten the temptation to join in the drinking, making it a potent trigger.
[00:02:41] Sonia: Airports. Air travel can be stressful, and airports often have so many bars and lounges where alcohol is readily available. The combination of stress and accessibility can create a challenging environment. Hotels, many hotels offer complimentary happy hours or have minibars in the rooms, [00:03:00] and these can be particularly tricky because they provide such easy access to alcohol.
[00:03:04] Sonia: So how to manage a social gathering. One, have a plan. Before you leave for vacation, create a plan for how you'll handle social situations where alcohol is present. this might include rehearsing how to turn down a drink or planning your escape route if things get too uncomfortable.
[00:03:21] Sonia: Two, if you can choose sober friendly destinations, opt for vacation spots known for their sober friendly environments or activities that don't center around drinking. Like nature retreats, wellness resorts, or adventure sports locations can be excellent choices. Travel with supportive company.
[00:03:39] Sonia: If possible, travel with a friend or family member who understands your journey and supports your sobriety. Having someone who can offer immediate support and accountability can make a big difference. Stay busy with sober activities. So plan your itinerary with lots of activities that don't involve alcohol, explore local museums, hiking, or take [00:04:00] part in a local cooking class.
[00:04:01] Sonia: And that can keep you engaged and away from so many temptations. Airports. Prepare mentally. Anticipate the presence of bars and lounges and prepare yourself mentally to resist the temptation. Reminding yourself of the reasons for your sobriety before you even get to the airport can bolster your resolve.
[00:04:21] Sonia: Seek alternative relaxation spots. Many airports offer quieter zones in lounges, and some may even be alcohol free. They have meditation rooms or even yoga spaces. So opt to spend your time in these areas instead of near bars.
[00:04:35] Sonia: when you get to the airport. Stop by your favorite concession stand and get your own supply of snacks and drinks that can keep you from visiting a bar for something to eat or drink. Hotels, you can request alcohol free accommodation. So when booking your room, you can request that the mini bar be emptied of alcoholic beverages before your arrival.
[00:04:57] Sonia: And many hotels are willing to accommodate this [00:05:00] request. Avoid happy hour. So plan activities during the happy hour times, like visiting a local attraction or a relaxing spa treatment. This keeps you away from the temptation and adds to your travel experience. Use hotel amenities that support sobriety.
[00:05:16] Sonia: So many hotels offer fitness centers, pools, and other amenities that can keep you occupied and engaged without involving alcohol. So Jill, let's talk about your options for explaining to your travel companions that you're not drinking. Communicating about your sobriety to travel companions can be an important step in maintaining your recovery, especially while on vacation.
[00:05:39] Sonia: So, here's how you can approach the conversation. One, be clear and direct. When the moment feels right, explain to your companions that you're not drinking. You can keep it simple and straightforward. For instance, you can say, I've decided not to drink. You don't have to delve into your recovery journey if you don't feel comfortable doing so.
[00:05:59] Sonia: Share [00:06:00] as much as you feel comfortable. So depending on your relationship with the person, you may choose to share more about your reasons for not drinking, and this can help them understand your perspective better and support you during the trip. Prepare for some questions.
[00:06:14] Sonia: Some people might be curious and ask questions about your decision and you can decide in advance how much you're willing to share. Having a few responses ready can help you navigate this smoothly. Like, I feel healthier when I don't drink or I'm taking a break from alcohol. And then, if you feel comfortable, you can set some boundaries.
[00:06:33] Sonia: State your needs clearly. Let your companions know what support looks like for you. This might be asking them not to offer you drinks, or maybe you'd prefer if they didn't drink around you at all, depending on your comfort level. Be firm. Be kind. Assert your boundaries with kindness. If someone forgets or pushes your boundaries, remind them gently but firmly.
[00:06:55] Sonia: You could say, I appreciate if you could avoid offering me a drink. Thanks so much for [00:07:00] supporting me. Plan for pushback. Not everyone may understand or respect your choice. Be prepared for different responses and remember that your sobriety is your priority. And if necessary, you can distance yourself from those who don't support your decision.
[00:07:16] Sonia: So be prepared for these different responses. There's supportive responses. And thankfully, most people will likely express support and admiration for your choice. In different responses, some people might not, some people might not care either way. Which can also be a relief. And then there's negative responses.
[00:07:34] Sonia: So in cases where the response is negative or unsupportive, reinforce your boundaries and remember why you chose sobriety. Surrounding yourself with supportive people is key. If you're comfortable communicating your needs and boundaries, this can help ensure that your vacation is enjoyable and supportive of your sobriety.
[00:07:53] Sonia: So let's talk about some sober activities you can engage on while on vacation. So it doesn't [00:08:00] just help maintain your sobriety, but it also lets you appreciate your vacation spot better. And while we're going through these, why don't you think about alternative drinking based activities? Choosing sober activities while on vacation not only helps your sobriety, but also lets you appreciate your vacation spot better.
[00:08:19] Sonia: Here are a few ideas of activities that don't center around drinking and some of the benefits that they offer. Exploring nature, whether it's hiking in the mountains, strolling through a national park, or kayaking on a quiet lake, spending time in nature Is not only positive for your sobriety, but it's also healthy.
[00:08:38] Sonia: These activities offer a chance to disconnect from daily stress and reconnect with yourself. Cultural tours, visit museums, historical sites, or local markets to immerse yourself in the culture of your destination. Engaging with local history and art can give you a deeper appreciation for the places you visit.
[00:08:58] Sonia: Try new sports. [00:09:00] Vacation can be a great time to try new and exciting sports like surfing, rock climbing, or scuba diving. These activities can get you that thrill and excitement without alcohol. Cooking classes? Learn to cook local dishes. Many destinations offer cooking classes that introduce you to the local cuisine and teach you skills that you can take back home.
[00:09:21] Sonia: I just had an opportunity to take a cooking class in Lisbon, Portugal. Photography walks, take a camera and explore the landscape through a lens. This can be a really meditative activity that allows you to see the world. See the world from a new perspective. And this is one of my personal favorite things to do on vacation.
[00:09:40] Sonia: Yoga or meditation. Many destinations offer both, which can be a wonderful way to maintain your mental and physical health while on vacation. Check out the list of activities at your hotel before you go. And here are the benefits of these activities. Enhanced engagement. You're able [00:10:00] to engage more fully with your environment, creating richer, more memorable experiences than those centered around drinking.
[00:10:07] Sonia: Stress reduction activities like nature walks, yoga, and meditation are known for reducing stress and enhancing mental clarity, which can also decrease your desire for a drink. Physical health, activities like hiking, swimming, or playing a new sport contribute to your physical well being and keep you energized.
[00:10:25] Sonia: Learning and growth, trying new things, whether it's immersing yourself in the culture or learning a new skill, promotes personal growth and learning. Adding these activities into your vacation not only helps you stay sober, but also enriches your travel experience and makes your trip unforgettable.
[00:10:42] Sonia: Let's talk about the feeling of missing out when others are drinking. So dealing with FOMO, the fear of missing out, when others around you are drinking can be one of the tougher aspects of maintaining sobriety, especially in vacation settings where You [00:11:00] can feel the pressure to experience it all and have the most fun ever.
[00:11:04] Sonia: And you can do all that without alcohol. So here is how you can address These feelings of FOMO, understanding and combating it. So recognize the feeling, acknowledge that it's a common experience, not just for those in recovery, but for all of us in different situations, recognizing it as a normal emotional response can help you address it more effectively.
[00:11:29] Sonia: Focus on the positives. Remind yourself of the benefits of staying sober. such as waking up without a hangover, having more energy, improved health, clearer thinking, and deeper connections with others. I call this playing the tape forward, And it's a little trick I use that's like using a fast forward button on the 24 hours after you have your first drink.
[00:11:51] Sonia: When you're faced with a decision about whether to drink, just hit the fast forward button in your mind and imagine what the next few hours would look like if you chose to drink, [00:12:00] and then the rest of your night and the next morning. It starts with that first sip. Maybe it's fun at first, you're laughing and enjoying the moment.
[00:12:09] Sonia: But as you fast forward, you might see the film getting a little bit fuzzier. Maybe there's a stumble on your way to getting another drink or a misstep in conversation. Fast forward a bit more. The night might end with you feeling out of control or not like yourself. The scene the next morning after.
[00:12:28] Sonia: Imagine waking up feeling groggy, your head pounding, memories a bit blurry, you are signed up for a morning hike and you decide to cancel and stay in bed for another few hours. Now, rewind back to the present. Before your first sip, you have the chance to choose a different ending to your movie. By playing the tape forward and seeing where each choice leads, you can decide if it's really worth pressing play.
[00:12:54] Sonia: This simple trick lets you make decisions that align with your goals of staying sober [00:13:00] and enjoying your time. So by focusing on the positive aspects of sobriety and implementing these strategies, you can transform feelings of missing out into opportunities for growth and enjoyment, aligning with your values and goals in recovery.