Beyond Your Default

Main Idea: Exploring the concept of love and its diminishing presence in modern conversations, this episode challenges listeners to rethink the role of love in their lives, its varying forms, and how societal perceptions have shifted love from a foundational value to something often sidelined or viewed skeptically.

Summary of the Show: In this insightful episode, George B. Thomas and Liz Moorehead dive deep into the complexities of love, asking the provocative question: “When did love become uncool?” They explore why love, despite being central to human experience and relationships, is often dismissed or downplayed in today’s culture. George reflects on his personal journey with love, from sermons he gave as a teenager to his current understanding of different types of love—ranging from agape (unconditional love) to pragma (enduring love). The conversation touches on how love has been commercialized, trivialized, and distorted by pop culture, leading many to shy away from embracing or discussing love openly. They also delve into how true love goes beyond romantic notions and encompasses self-love, compassion, and commitment to others' well-being.

Quotes:
  • “Love isn’t just a fleeting feeling; it’s what makes happiness deep and lasting when we tie it into everything we do.” - George B. Thomas
  • “When love drives us to seek justice and fairness, we help build a more compassionate world.” - George B. Thomas
  • “It’s okay to be vulnerable in showing your love. If discomfort equals growth, why not embrace it?” - George B. Thomas
  • “True love isn’t supposed to be stressful; it’s the unlock element for everything else in our lives.” - George B. Thomas
Scriptures:
  • 1 Corinthians 13:4-7: "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs."
  • 1 John 4:18: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love."
  • Proverbs 10:12: "Hatred stirs up conflict, but love covers over all wrongs."
  • Colossians 3:14: "And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity."
Reflective Questions:
  1. Self-Assessment: How comfortable are you with openly expressing love in your life? Are there areas where you hold back due to fear or societal expectations?
  2. Cultural Perception: In what ways has pop culture influenced your understanding and expression of love? How might that perception be limiting your relationships or self-growth?
  3. Types of Love: Which forms of love (romantic, self-love, agape) are most prevalent in your life? How can you cultivate a more balanced approach to expressing and receiving love?
  4. Barriers to Love: What past hurts or societal pressures keep you from fully embracing love? How can you begin to dismantle those barriers?
  5. Daily Practice: What intentional practices can you incorporate into your routine to make love a more active and consistent part of your life?

Creators & Guests

Host
George B. Thomas
A catalyst for growth!
Host
Liz Moorehead
Content therapist and speaker.

What is Beyond Your Default?

What Is Beyond Your Default? "Everyone keeps telling me I should be happy, but I'm not." “I feel stuck.” “I have a calling, but where do I start?"

Right now, you have a choice. You can continue living within your default norms, playing it safe, clocking in and out every day, and scraping by to achieve what's supposed to make you happy hopefully. Or you can choose to accept the challenge of living beyond your default. Stop wishing to live your "best life” and start living your best life. Success leaves clues. And they're waiting for you to discover them.

George B. Thomas:

If we look at happiness, love is more than just a fleeting feeling or a feel good moment. It's what makes happiness deep and lasting if we have love tied into it. When we genuinely love others and ourselves, like we've talked about so far on this podcast, happiness becomes more than just a passing emotion. It it's something that sticks around, grow stronger, radiating out from us and around to those, it becomes happiness transforms itself into what I might call joy. Listen, we think about health, love, especially self love, going and get a mani and pedi, nudges us to take better care of ourselves.

George B. Thomas:

It motivates us to develop healthy habits, and it motivates us to practice self care and kindness. And when we're surrounded by love from others, we get the emotional support we need to stay mentally strong, mentally healthy. If we look at hustle and hungry, the words that we've combined together, love is the fire that fuels our drive and passion. It's what makes us hungry for more, more knowledge, more growth, more success. When we truly love our goals, the people in our lives and life itself, we stay motivated to keep pushing forward.

George B. Thomas:

If I think about helpful in the framework, when love is at the heart of what we do, helping others isn't just something we do out of obligation. It's something we want to do.

Liz Moorehead:

Welcome back to Beyond Your Default. I'm your host, Liz Morehead. And as always, I'm joined by the one and only George b Thomas. But George Yes. George, my guy.

Liz Moorehead:

Yeah. You're a little bit like a terrorist sometimes.

Liz Moorehead:

Do you know that?

George B. Thomas:

Because Just sometimes. Every now and then.

Liz Moorehead:

Sometimes because you and I hop on here for a couple of minutes before we, you know, catch up on a weekend, say hello to each other, make sure are we ready to talk about life and happiness and all the things?

George B. Thomas:

All the things.

Liz Moorehead:

And then occasionally, you'll do you know, normally, it's just normal chitchat, and then occasionally, it's what you just did, which is

George B. Thomas:

I say something. Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

I'm so I'm so ready to blow your mind at the beginning of this episode. I'm gonna go ahead and hit record now.

George B. Thomas:

I mean, why not? It's Monday. Let's get it started in the right fashion. Right?

Liz Moorehead:

You know what? Well, before we get into mind blowing, how about this? What's your highlight and low light?

George B. Thomas:

No. No. No. You do your highlight and low light first. I'll do mine second.

George B. Thomas:

See, that's part of the setup right there. Go ahead. You go first.

Liz Moorehead:

For our listeners at home, this is a cry for help. Hi. My name is Liz. I'll start with low light so we can end on highlight. So low light is something that sounds like it should be a highlight, but not when you live on the top floor of a 3rd floor walk up.

George B. Thomas:

Oh.

Liz Moorehead:

And that is I am a strong, self sufficient, independent woman who had to haul four trips worth of boxes up and down my stairs this weekend.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

There is one point this weekend where I was halfway up the last set of stairs, and I just kinda sat down in the middle. And I'm holding this giant box that had, like, pillows and a comforter in it and stuff like that.

George B. Thomas:

Well, at least it was light.

Liz Moorehead:

Yeah. I know. But it wasn't because it's a velvet comforter, and then also, apparently, there was thank you Amazon for combining things. So it was a comforter and a toaster. Yes.

Liz Moorehead:

So I was sitting on the stairs, and at one point, I was just like, man, feminism. Are we sure? To be fair, yes. A 100%. But, man, like I said, that would have been a very different story not living on the top floor

Liz Moorehead:

of a

Liz Moorehead:

3rd floor walk up. Highlight was everything that came in those boxes. I sometimes like to joke that I have reverse seasonal depression. It gets too hot. It gets too sunny.

Liz Moorehead:

People are a little too happy and chummy, and I'm just like, no. Thank you. I come alive when it gets colder out. I come alive when even the most hint of pumpkin spice is in the air. I do you know, some people do spring cleaning and spring nesting.

Liz Moorehead:

And the moment Starbucks drops their pumpkin spice, I am there. I am ready. I redid my entire room. Everything feels nice. Is it still going to be 90 degrees today?

Liz Moorehead:

Yes. It is. But I'm just gonna gaslight myself into thinking we are moving beyond this, that summer is now coming to an abrupt and swift close. I mean, Labor Day, when we're recording this, is is almost here.

Liz Moorehead:

Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

So It's like the

George B. Thomas:

leaves are already changing or something.

Liz Moorehead:

Oh, yeah. Absolutely. But no. It was just a great weekend. My whole I redid my whole room.

Liz Moorehead:

And the other thing that was nice too is it wasn't just about decorating. I took care of a lot of maybe this is probably a metaphor. I took care of a lot of lingering around the home things that had been bothering me. For example, my bed, absolutely love it. It's this gorgeous big wrought iron bed that has had a squeak.

Liz Moorehead:

And I knew what was causing the squeak, and I just wasn't taking the time to fix it. But every night I get up or go into bed, and every morning I wake up, I hear squeaky, and it annoyed me. Finally took care of that too. So it was just a bit of cleaning house, little bit of cleaning shop.

George B. Thomas:

Love that. Yeah. Sometimes you gotta do that.

Liz Moorehead:

Go ahead, George. Whatever. Just what are your highlights and lowlights, George? What what's going on?

George B. Thomas:

So lowlight, have you ever wanted something so much, but you weren't sure if you would be able to get the thing? And so then you have a day where you're like, well, I want it to happen, but is it gonna happen? Like, I want it to happen. Is it gonna happen? And so I had a day where I basically sat outside on my back porch, listened to some country music, even smoked a cigar for the first time in about 3 months because I was just like, I need to take time to chill because there's this potential life event that would be really, really cool if it could happen.

George B. Thomas:

I'm not gonna I'm not gonna bring it up yet. If it happens, then I'll Is this something

Liz Moorehead:

you and I have talked about?

George B. Thomas:

Maybe. So that was the low light is, like what I would call it is this, like, mental roller coaster that I was at least able to drive and park it into where it needed to be parked by the time the day was over. But it was like, I knew that I needed to give myself that time. Now let's move on to the more important thing.

Liz Moorehead:

Yeah. I'm just gonna put I'm gonna put a pin in this, and I just want you to know this is both a threat and a promise. Sir, we had dedicated human time this past Friday to talk about our life and our dreams and our hopes.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. But this was on Sunday, so that happened before my thing that I just talked about on Sunday. So it but it is what it is. So this week, especially, end of week weekend, I feel like I did a great job as far as a father and a husband. Okay.

George B. Thomas:

Let me explain. So first of all, I took both of my daughters out separately at different times out to dinner. Just her, both times because daughters and me. And we had great conversations because we had this big life possible event thing that might happen, and I wanted to pick their brain on, like, where they where their head was and what they're thinking and what they're happy about.

Liz Moorehead:

And I

George B. Thomas:

wanted to hear their dreams, like, if this thing does happen. However, there's this. This was the moment for me. I'm sitting in my office. It's Saturday.

George B. Thomas:

I'm working on stuff because I like to work. I actually like I feel like I'm playing, but I'm working on stuff. And my wife comes in and says, we'll be back. And it's my wife and my daughter. And I go, where where are you going?

George B. Thomas:

And my wife says, well, Maddie's gonna get her nails done, and I'm gonna get a pedicure. And I said, well, hang on. I'll go with you. And so I'm sitting there, and I'm like, if Liz could see me now as far as self care because I literally got a manicure and a pedicure. What?

George B. Thomas:

Got the foot massage, got the hot rocks, got the got the oils on the legs, like, all and I'm ticklish, by the way. So that was the fun part. But literally sat there and just, like, loved myself enough to get past this isn't manly, sat there with my daughter and my wife. We laughed. We had fun, and I absolutely enjoyed air quotes girl day at the, like, manicure pedicure place.

George B. Thomas:

So that was my highlight. And by the way, I don't know why I waited till I was, like, 50 something years old to realize that you guys were hiding something and lying to us. Like, I would have done this years ago if I would have known what actually went down at, like, in this scenario. But, anyway, that's the highlight.

Liz Moorehead:

Okay. First of all I

George B. Thomas:

told you I'd blow your mind.

Liz Moorehead:

Why did you wait so long? Because you were the guy who, like, not 3 months ago when I sent you the outline for self care went, how do you feel about this outline, which is George speak for, what the flip are we talking about and why are we here?

George B. Thomas:

Exactly.

Liz Moorehead:

I need an adult. So that's probably the answer to that. Also, we are not hiding anything from you. We are not hiding anything from you.

George B. Thomas:

I mean, I wish I would've known earlier. Like, if if you're a guy listening this and you haven't gone and got a pedicure at some point in your life, I'm just asking you to try it once, especially if it's a good, like, father daughter or husband wife bonding moment. Because what's crazy is when we're in there, this other lady that I had I didn't know her from anywhere. She was like, oh, yeah. I love when my husband comes with me.

George B. Thomas:

And I'm like, what? What? What?

Liz Moorehead:

My ex husband used to go with me every time. It was our we had a little fancy pants sundae.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. Well, there you go. There you go. So that was that was the highlight. Manicure, pedicure.

George B. Thomas:

I just let it happen. It was beautiful.

Liz Moorehead:

Think for one second, I've forgotten that there's some sort of massive life thing that you keep hiding from me. I will come from

George B. Thomas:

you as soon

Liz Moorehead:

as this mic is off.

George B. Thomas:

Not hiding, but, you know, anyway.

Liz Moorehead:

Okay. Anyway, we are here to talk about a funny little topic. A funny Is

George B. Thomas:

it funny?

Liz Moorehead:

It is funny to me because we're talking about love today. Right? And my guess is this is not gonna be the last time we talk about love because we're gonna talk about something very specific

Liz Moorehead:

Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

When it comes to love today. You and I had a conversation a while ago when we were talking about how we wanted to continue to develop the superhuman framework. Right?

George B. Thomas:

Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

Which are the 10 pillars we use to help us architect a life beyond your default. So Yep. Honesty, humanity, humility, hustle, all of these different things.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

And then at one point during the conversation, we were talking and said, well, love is it's the reason for everything. It's the reason for everything. And then I said, well, that's strange. Love isn't oh my gosh. We've never talked about love.

Liz Moorehead:

I ran a scan of all of the transcripts from every episode prior to this one. The times the word has come up in the context of us talking about love.

George B. Thomas:

Key points there, the word. But go ahead.

Liz Moorehead:

Single digits. And when I asked you, why don't we talk about this? You said, we can't talk about that.

George B. Thomas:

Dang. I'm getting caught on the carpet right now.

Liz Moorehead:

Yeah. Well, you knew this was coming. You've known this episode was coming for weeks. But before we dig into that, we're talking about today, when did love become uncool? Now for some of you listening, you might be like, what are you talking about?

Liz Moorehead:

When did love become uncool? We're gonna get to that. But, George, I wanna start today's conversation by asking you about the squishy part, which is, again, love is barely talked about on this podcast. It is suspiciously absent from the superhuman framework, which we will get to.

George B. Thomas:

We'll get to that.

Liz Moorehead:

No. No. No. I understand it's inferred. It's implied.

Liz Moorehead:

It's the root, but we don't talk about it. For something so important, we do not talk about it. But I wanna start with the squishy part. I loved when you said out loud, you got all squishy about it too when you said it. Love is the reason for everything.

Liz Moorehead:

When did love become the reason for everything for you? And was it always that way, or was there a catalyst moment where that shifted?

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. I wanna answer this question, but I also want to say why I said the word. That was a key point, the word, single digits. Listeners, you need to know that the idea of this podcast and bringing it to the world is based out of love. You need to know that every episode that I've sat down to craft is out of love.

George B. Thomas:

Love for you, love for the ability you have in your life. Like, I would not take the time and pour out the love from myself and Liz at same as what I'm saying. If we did not love you, believe in you, and think that this could be the catalyst for you to get the places that you're trying to get in your life. So while we might not say the word, this whole thing comes from a place of love. So here's the thing.

George B. Thomas:

Liz, I have to break this down because it happened in multiple phases. Phase 1, though, as I sat back and thought historically of my life, which you're making me do more and more as we get closer and closer to writing the book and and getting the book out to the world. I was transported back to Cardwell, Montana when I was 15, and I had forgotten about this. I haven't really I don't know if I've ever talked about this publicly, but I was transported back to Cardwell, Montana when I was 15. And I had started to go to church because we moved into a new community from Bozeman, Montana.

George B. Thomas:

And one of the things that they did is they would have the kids, occasionally do a sermon. We stood up in front of the church and we actually gave a sermon. I gave my sermon, Liz, on love. And the sermon that I gave, it talked about love being messy and why love was messy and how we needed to think about love. And I went through and I talked about love.

George B. Thomas:

Now, Liz, I have a question for you. When you think of the word love, what do you immediately think of?

Liz Moorehead:

I don't immediately think of one thing. Love encompasses so many things.

George B. Thomas:

Okay. What do you think of?

Liz Moorehead:

Hugs, genuine caring. I don't know. It's

George B. Thomas:

See that right there. Because it was an I don't know pause. Right? And It's so

Liz Moorehead:

many things. How do you even

George B. Thomas:

Well, that's the problem. That's the prob and so most people when they they, like, they think of it as a 4 letter word. Love. Well, it's love. It's just and it's puppies and kittens and romcoms and, you know, it's it's just love.

George B. Thomas:

In this sermon, I actually talked about, which is romantic love. Like, it's the passionate, you know, physical attraction, intense emotions. We talk about falling in love. In the sermon that I gave, I talk about, Fila, which is the deep friendship, connection based, mutual respect, loyalty, shared values usually found in close friendships, or if you like your brother or sister, in sibling relationships. You may or may not have that, listeners.

George B. Thomas:

Storage, which is the familiar love, the natural unconditional love between family members, like deep emotional bond between parents and their children, agape love. K. This is the unconditional or the universal love, the selfless, the altruistic love extended to all people, characterized by compassion and commitment to others, their well-being without expecting anything in return. Oh, I'm getting goosebumps. Ladies and gentlemen, if you've listened to this podcast, historically, you've heard me talk about expectations.

George B. Thomas:

You've heard me talk about commitment to others. Literally, I just started this podcast of, like, it is coming from a place of love, like, coming from a place of service being built for you. Agape, unconditional universal love. We've got ludus, which is the playful love. Right?

George B. Thomas:

Pragma, which is the enduring or practical love. This is like the long term stable love based on mutual respect, understanding, shared goals. It's found in mature relationships or long term partnerships. We've got self love. Right?

George B. Thomas:

Like, there's just so many mania, obsessive love, compassionate love. Like, there's so many things in so many ways. And here's the thing, usually in our culture, love never goes that deep. People don't think about, well, what kind of love am I in or feeling or leveraging or being part of? And so all of that to say, like, love can be messy.

George B. Thomas:

Love can be confusing. And I have always been the type of guy that, like I'm like, well, let's simplify the complex. I don't know if I figured out how to simplify the complexities of love. Therefore, we have really not talked about it at a super deep level. But I will say that one thing, when I was thinking about this sermon, I I was like, oh my god.

George B. Thomas:

I hadn't put this piece together. But I remember when I gave this sermon, how impacted I I was and how I said at 15 years old. Oh. Oh. My life goal, I wanna grow up as agape love.

George B. Thomas:

I wanna be selfless. I wanna extend to all people. I wanna be compassionate and committed to others well-being. I I wanna be able to temper my expectations so that I can be the best and show up the best. So, Liz, that was, like, phase 1 of this whole, like, understanding there are different layers and levels of love to actually pay attention to.

George B. Thomas:

At Trinity Baptist, pastor Dave Wright, I've talked about him before on the podcast. He did a sermon called treasures in trash cans. And it was during that sermon that I realized that I I have to love myself. Dude, you've been dirty. You've done dirt.

George B. Thomas:

But at the end of the day, you're a treasure. Like, God made you in a certain way. So, like, moving forward from this day forward, you have to love yourself. And when when I think about that, I tap back into that original sermon and the layers of love in which I should have for myself and those around me. And so you have this, like, understanding of the structure of different loves.

George B. Thomas:

You have this moment in time where it's like you need to love yourself so that you can love others, which, Liz, we talk about in other podcast episodes, the blessing bomber. And so this is the 3rd phase of, like, if you're gonna be a blessing bomber, guess what, homie? You're gonna have to love them. You're gonna have to love them with agape love, with 0 expectations because blessing bombers don't look back. They just bless and they go.

George B. Thomas:

Because they're not there for the rewards. They're there for the blessing to be that thing that they're supposed to be. And so, like, it's always there. It's part of who we are. But, again, it it's just messy, and it's hard to unpack.

George B. Thomas:

And and and not to mention, like and we'll talk about this, but if I say love to a roomful of people, the amount of people that are gonna feel like me, probably not a lot because there's some ways that love ain't cool. There's some ways love ain't been used right. That's where the three main phases of my life where I think this pick up love and roll with it comes from.

Liz Moorehead:

It's so funny. As soon as you said agape, it reminded me of the fact. You may remember our hyena energy episode, and there was a particular artist who had created some cards that we talked about. I have this from her

George B. Thomas:

as well. Hey. There we go. By the way, if you're not watching this

Liz Moorehead:

Oh, I was about to go ahead.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. Go ahead. You go ahead.

Liz Moorehead:

No. So there she has these she's an artist, so she has these beautiful pieces about the different types of love, and it's just this really cool piece of artwork about Agape.

George B. Thomas:

Yes.

Liz Moorehead:

I love it. Anyway, I find your answer very interesting because you seem to be such a champion of love.

George B. Thomas:

Oh, yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

Preached about love.

George B. Thomas:

Without a doubt.

Liz Moorehead:

Love is your reason, the reason, etcetera, etcetera. But let's go back to what I mentioned earlier. Because when I asked you in a previous conversation privately why it's been so absent in every conversation we've had so far in the podcast, Once again, you said, you can't say love is the reason for everything. You can't say that. Why?

George B. Thomas:

Man, I wish I would have never said that to you. Here's one of the things. And by the way, that conversation with you and this prep for the podcast and this podcast is making me think about why I said that and the actions that might take place after all of this. But historically and today, I'll say I am this hyper focused on not offending humans. If I offend you, it is very hard for me to bless you.

George B. Thomas:

If I am the typical person that might walk around with the love 2 by 4, I might knock you out. And it's really hard to have a conversation if I knock you out. I may put you out of the place of being able to listen. Liz, I've always had this mindset or mentality. And when I say always, I'll say the last 20 to 25 years that I've actually been trying to do good on the earth.

George B. Thomas:

I have this Johnny Appleseed mentality, where instead of, like, most or some loving Christians like to hit people over the forehead with their proverbial 2 by fours, I've had more of a Johnny Appleseed where I'm, like, trying to just plant some seeds, and if they grow, they will grow. But, again, it's because I've been hit in the forehead with a 2 by 4, and I didn't like the way it felt. That didn't feel like love to me. Therefore, I didn't wanna return that to the world knowing in how it felt to me. And, honestly, it's also because the the understanding of negative outlooks and misunderstandings of the word love.

George B. Thomas:

Like, what's what's around it? Like, let's be honest. I don't know if agape love is the first thing that came to anybody's mind when I said, hey, Liz. Talk to me about love. Like, love is often hyped up and packaged like a product in today's society.

George B. Thomas:

It's the cheesy rock. According to Hallmark,

Liz Moorehead:

it is a product.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. The Hallmark Channel. It's oh my god.

Liz Moorehead:

Someone who loves Hallmark Channel movies. That is a secret shame of mine, and I'd love that.

George B. Thomas:

Christmas. Like, Christmas, Hallmark Channel during Christmas or Christmas in July Is the best. Swear to god, it's on 24 hours a day. I love

Liz Moorehead:

my wife. Wife your wife is a good person.

George B. Thomas:

You know how I know I love my wife? Because I'll sit and watch them with her and know that we watched the dang thing last year. I'm just saying. But, anyway, it is packaged up like a product. And and, again, you think about the cheesy romcoms, the Valentine's Day ads, and and the it sounds like great that no harm, no foul, but this builds up our expectations as humans that love should be this perfect and magical thing.

George B. Thomas:

And and so when real life doesn't match up, it's super easy to feel disappointed because, well, my life isn't the Hallmark Channel. My life isn't the Valentine's card. And by the way, we have to think that we have listeners all over the world. Right? In some places, showing love openly is seen as weak or naive, especially when a society I could so go somewhere right now.

George B. Thomas:

Being tough, independent makes love uncool or embracing love uncool. That's not manly. What is wrong with him? Like, not to mention, most of us, by a show of hands that I can't see, how many of you been hurt in life? Like, when people experience hurt, betrayal, when we're let down, it's natural for us to become cynical and start to think that love is just a fantasy.

George B. Thomas:

I'll never be able to get it. I'll never reach it. I thought I had it, but it was elusive. It slipped through my fingertips. For some of us, love has been associated with, like, counter cultural movements.

George B. Thomas:

Damn hippies. I am Jesus lovers. And it becomes dismissed as, like, this unrealistic or overly idealistic traditional for those groups. Liz, we've talked about on this podcast the good vibes only, like the toxic positive positivity. Oh my god.

George B. Thomas:

Like like the good vibes only mindset can make love feel forced and fake, which, by the way, love should never be forced or faked. But being told to stay positive and loving all the time can start to feel, like, pressured. Like, you feel like you're in life's pressure cooker. And the funny thing about this is be good vibes only. Like, it makes love seem shallow and insincere.

George B. Thomas:

And love is a very deep well. Like, true love. The real love is a very deep well. I'm gonna throw this out there and I've kind of alluded to it. For those who religious institutions have hurt, hearing messages about love can even feel hypocritical or painful.

George B. Thomas:

Liz, I've said on this podcast, I thought Christians were the most hypocritical people I've met in my life. By the way, people in other religions might say that about other religious people. Like, I'm not just drawing the line at Christians, but, like, look. Hurt people hurt people, and hurt people are in churches because they're trying to get healed. Oh my god.

George B. Thomas:

Like, what do you think is gonna happen around this? We we live in a very by the way, I love the world. I love humans. But if I look around, we live in a very self centered world. Ideas like selflessness and community love, they probably look and feel outdated and irrelevant in many of the humans' lives that might be listening to this podcast.

George B. Thomas:

And if you're listening to this for the first time, this might be the best episode for you to start this journey on with, to be honest with you. But but we have this pressure to find the perfect romantic relationship. That can be overwhelming. Then all of a sudden, love is a source of stress. Love isn't supposed to be stressful.

George B. Thomas:

Love is supposed to be the unlock element for all the other things in our life. Like, I can't wait because I I wanna talk about love to the h's because you you kinda threw me on the carpet of, like, how come it's not in the superhuman framework? I'm like, ah. Like, oh my god. I'm doing everybody a disservice in not talking about how this is, like, a fundamental piece.

George B. Thomas:

But, like, love is not supposed to be a stress inducer. The last thing I'm gonna say on this, and if you've ever been part of this, I apologize if the person has not apologized for themselves because it's the one that pisses me off the most. Unfortunately, love can also be used as a tool to control. Toxic relationships, they leave people bitter and disillusioned to what the true meaning of love is, and the power in which love could have for them moving forward, but they're not willing to embrace it. It's no longer cool.

George B. Thomas:

It it's hurtful. And so, Liz, why have I tempered myself historically? Because, dang, gummy. Like, love is messy, and love is different for every single human. And the journey that they've gone through or had the opportunity, depending on how you look at it, to go through to mold their story.

George B. Thomas:

And, honestly, this is one of the hardest places that I look at because I I can look at most humans and I'd be like, oh, this is where I need to meet them. Oh, they need a little more hustle. They need a little more happiness. They need a little bit more health. But when I try to turn on the love gauge, I'm like, oh, I don't know.

George B. Thomas:

I don't know.

Liz Moorehead:

So a few things. Number 1, I don't know if you watched my reaction as soon as you said I was worried about offending people. Yeah. Yeah. Man, the content therapist, strategist in me, my little antenna went up.

Liz Moorehead:

If you're focused on not offending people, you are basically absolving anybody of any responsibility to sit through the discomfort of being exposed to new feelings and new ideas and new thoughts. And, also, sometimes someone being uncomfortable with something that you're sharing with them, that actually speaks more about them than it does about you. I think the 2 things can be true. I think you can go into any conversation and say, I am here to be purposeful. I am here to be productive, and I am here to be constructive.

Liz Moorehead:

I'm here to listen, and I'm here to be open. The moment you switch or flip that switch to, I don't wanna offend. That's not how that works. That that's not speaking with your true voice. Sometimes discomfort is the pathway to growth, and you have to get comfortable.

Liz Moorehead:

You aren't comfortable. But here's what I will also say.

George B. Thomas:

Like I'm in the principal's office right now.

Liz Moorehead:

You brought up a number of really good points that resonated with me because when I think about certain things like, well, why don't I like talking about love? Mine felt a little bit more, I don't know, not as well thought out as yours. Right? I wasn't uncomfortable talking about love because I don't wanna offend people. Like, it had nothing to do with anybody else.

Liz Moorehead:

I just didn't wanna look like a hippie. So there's that. Right? Like, you know, because the moment you're like, the moment somebody sort of you know, it's all about love, man. I'm like, uh-huh.

Liz Moorehead:

So where's the pamphlet you're giving me? Right?

Liz Moorehead:

Like, what what's happening here? So there's that piece of it. Like, I don't wanna look like a ding dong. There are

Liz Moorehead:

other that piece

Liz Moorehead:

of it. Like, I don't wanna look like a ding dong. The other piece of it too is what

Liz Moorehead:

you mentioned. We don't wanna admit

Liz Moorehead:

how much we want it. We don't wanna talk

Liz Moorehead:

about how we're ability.

George B. Thomas:

You're you're knocking on the door of vulnerability right now, by the way.

Liz Moorehead:

You don't wanna talk about how much you want it. You don't wanna talk about how much you're worried you won't have it. There it love is very interesting and that it reminds me a lot of the concept of happiness. It's not a happy is not a 4 letter word. It's a 5 letter word.

Liz Moorehead:

It is one that people struggle to define. Like, everything you were saying about love, I'm like, did we already record this episode? Oh, yeah. It's called happiness. Right?

Liz Moorehead:

Everything about these very quote, unquote simple ideals that quote unquote everybody we all wanna be happy. We all want love. Except none of us chuckleheads know how to define it and we're always worried we're not gonna have it. And anytime we try to chase it, that is completely backward and inverted.

George B. Thomas:

I have to go sideways for a second and then we can get back on love. It's funny you said happiness is a 5 letter word.

Liz Moorehead:

Why is it happy?

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. Well, so happy is a 5 letter word that's actually masking the 3 letter word that you're looking for. I'm just letting everybody know.

Liz Moorehead:

Is it joy?

George B. Thomas:

It's joy. Joy is what you should be seeking. Like, I have this whole thing that I'm I can't wait till I can bring this to the world of, like, a mental shift from success to significance. And I have very much another mental switch is, like, happiness. It's joy.

George B. Thomas:

I'm looking for joy. But anyway, we're here for love. That's another podcast episode. We're here for love.

Liz Moorehead:

Joy is a state of being. Love for me is an act.

George B. Thomas:

But it is action. But it's a little bit of I'll say a little bit of both. But, yes,

Liz Moorehead:

I agree. Little comment.

George B. Thomas:

Yes. But I do agree. Love is an action. Love is a choice.

Liz Moorehead:

And one of my favorite things about love and I've written about this in the newsletter quite a bit, beyond your default.comforward/newsletter, where I talk a lot about place where that was Thank you.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

Thank you. I like to talk about opposites and polarities. Right? I like to talk about this idea of 2 things are almost always true at the same time. And often, if you want something in order to achieve it, you actually need to do the exact opposite.

Liz Moorehead:

You want something to go faster? You need to slow down. You want life to get easy, George, just like you talk about. Do hard things.

George B. Thomas:

Yes.

Liz Moorehead:

Right? What's fascinating is that if you want to achieve love outside of yourself, look inward and start loving yourself as hard as you can. One of my favorite things to say is

George B. Thomas:

Go get a mani pedi. That's her favorite thing to say. Love yourself within.

Liz Moorehead:

I'm just I got my nails done. This nigga, and it's pretty. Once you start pouring love into yourself, it becomes so much easier to pour love into the world.

George B. Thomas:

Without a doubt.

Liz Moorehead:

Without a doubt.

George B. Thomas:

So true. That should be like the quote of the episode. That right there should be the quote of the episode at the very top of the show notes.

Liz Moorehead:

Like and what's really funny about it is that so this is the longest I have ever been single in my whole life. Longest I've ever I hated it for a while. Absolutely hated it, but that was because I was learning how to be alone. Yes. And what was fascinating about it is I realized, Liz, are you chasing love or are you trying to avoid your fear of loneliness?

Liz Moorehead:

Which I've talked about very deeply on this episode. What is my why? I have felt true loneliness. I have felt darkness. I have felt not being seen.

Liz Moorehead:

Now, I'm about let's see. About a year and a half since Patrick and I split up. And I went on a date on Friday. It was fine. The spark wasn't there.

Liz Moorehead:

He was a really nice guy. It was mutual. We both were like, this was great. Not there. It was really nice to meet you.

Liz Moorehead:

Just not really, you know I wasn't upset. I was

George B. Thomas:

fine. Interesting.

Liz Moorehead:

And it's so funny. I've gotten to this weird place where it's like, I'm just really kinda happy being me. And then I realized Maybe that's the

George B. Thomas:

quote for the episode. I hope the listeners understand how and I hope you understand how powerful that statement is. I'm just happy being me.

Liz Moorehead:

Well, that's the love story we always ignore. We always seek love stories without, but the first one we need to forge is with ourselves, which

Liz Moorehead:

Yes.

Liz Moorehead:

This is where I get to the answer to this question for myself. I don't wanna sound like a hippie. I don't want to sound like because if you grew up in the DC area, you were very used to anytime you went to a museum. Oh. Somebody was coming up to talk to you about Krishna and, like, love and all this stuff.

Liz Moorehead:

And it's just not cool to love love, which is funny to me because love is at the center of so much of our pop culture. Right? There are songs, movies, every Hallmark Channel movie that you've ever watched even though you I'm pretty sure, George, you think it's all just one movie that they just recast and everything in our pop culture is about love. Whether they're explicitly love songs or they're breakup songs or they're rom coms. There is a running joke which is actually a very serious issue.

Liz Moorehead:

There's a there's a test. I think it's called like the best shot test, the best shot test. I can't remember Where it's like very few movies pass it and the test is, can there are there scenes in the movie with 2 women where they're not talking about men? Like, love and relationships are so centered in our culture. And yet, there are so many people like us, George, who do not want to admit its importance in our lives.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

If we're even ready to acknowledge it at all. So that gets to the title of this episode. When did love become uncool? When did this happen?

George B. Thomas:

So I wanna unpack a couple things. I don't know because in the question slash statements that you're just making, I don't know if true true love is at the center of pop culture. I think there's a carnival fun mirror version of love in the center of pop culture. But it's

Liz Moorehead:

Twilight is about stalking. He just happens to be hot.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

Love at the center of I'm rewatching scandal right now.

Liz Moorehead:

Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

And everybody worships Kerry Washington and Tony Goldwyn who played the president and Olivia Pope. And don't get me wrong. I love that show and Tony Goldwyn, like, call me. But, like, that is an un obsessive unhealthy relationship and he, like, he murders a lot of people. Like, it's not Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

None of this is healthy.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. Which anyway. Okay. Let's let me move on. I was about to be real vulnerable and talk about my fascination with one of the shows that you just mentioned, the movies that you just mentioned.

George B. Thomas:

But let's let's continue on.

Liz Moorehead:

Are we sure? You said you were gonna be vulnerable. That was Yeah.

George B. Thomas:

Well, team Jacob, does that say anything? Like, does anybody listening to this know what it means when I say anyway, let's

Liz Moorehead:

just I'm an elder millennial girl.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

Of course, honestly, both of them, team nobody. Team Bella Team no. Going off team Bella going off and finding herself, maybe. Like, go to

George B. Thomas:

San Francisco. Crap. I binged the crap out of those movies. I'm just

Liz Moorehead:

I watch them once a year. I watch them once a year.

George B. Thomas:

Like, I know that I shouldn't be watching this, but I don't care. Here's my man card. Give me the popcorn.

Liz Moorehead:

George b Thomas, Twilight lover.

George B. Thomas:

I'm your bitch. Yeah. That's probably gonna be a social post from somebody at some point listening to this podcast. Anyway but my point is I don't know if true love is actually at the center of pop culture or the center of anything. Because, again, if I go back to true love, I go back to, like, the agape style love if I'm using true love or the the one that is not the, selfish version or the controlling version.

George B. Thomas:

And there's a lot of selfish and controlling love that is shown in the center of pop culture. So here's the thing, though. The other piece that I had this discomfort in, and I know where it came from because it's a launching pad from our original conversation of, I can't talk about that. I would say that I do admit its importance, the importance of love in my own life. Just just many times, it's to myself or my family, my close, close, close friends.

George B. Thomas:

This is the first time that I'm taking it as far as just to put it out in the world. But that's because of a level of trying to be careful about not running, and you even mentioned it. Like, in DC hey, girl. I'd love to tell you it happens everywhere. We're in North Carolina, and we got people with cardboard signs and megaphones.

George B. Thomas:

You're going to Jack Jackson. You're going to hell. We love you. Look. Nah.

George B. Thomas:

Just be quiet. Like, just stop. Just stop. And if you've been that person, I'm sorry. I don't mean to offend you, but just stop.

George B. Thomas:

I've tried to be so careful about not running people over with the love steamroller because that's not what it's about. I'm not trying to flatten anybody out. I'm not trying to, like but, Liz, I think based on the conversation that got us to this episode, why people might look at love like it's uncool. And we've kind of alluded to some of these, but past hurts and disappointments are like a major thing that we need to be cognizant of when we get into this conversation of love, true love, unpacking love, loving ourself, loving others, like and vulnerability, by the way. But and but most of us have been hurt by love in some way, sometime, whether it's through breakups, toxic or bad friendships, family issues.

George B. Thomas:

Like, you know how I know that we've all had this? Because we're all humans, and humans are gonna human. Like

Liz Moorehead:

I'm special. Shut up.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. I'm different. Yeah. Well, if any listener listens to any podcast episode that we've ever done, they'll be like, no, Liz. You're human.

George B. Thomas:

And the humans in your life human, and you're human too. But that's we're just trying to be authentically vulnerable humans on this podcast explaining, like, hey. Everybody's life is messy. But those experiences with, you know, breakups or friendships or families, like, I know you can't see them, but they leave scars. That's the thing.

George B. Thomas:

If I cut my arm on accident, I'm gonna see a scar on my arm. If you cut my heart, if you cut my emotions, if you cut my love, the scar's there, and you can't see it. But after enough scarring, after enough pain, it is really easy to start associating love with heartache instead of happiness. And love is like a foundational element of happiness. Liz, we jokingly talked about the Hallmark Channel book.

George B. Thomas:

Commercialization and creating love is this ideal, we're freaking bombarded with, this. And by the way, it's not just the romantic movies, the rom coms that we joked about. Freaking go look at your Instagram feed. I do got constant talk about finding the one. You know, I found the one a long time ago when I was 14.

George B. Thomas:

I accepted Jesus in my life. That's the one. Like, do I happen to have other people that come into my life that I love? Yes. Am I happen to be married to the love of my life, my wife, Kelly?

George B. Thomas:

Yes. Do I happen to love my kids? Yes. But what finding the the one. Like, no.

George B. Thomas:

Priorities. Come on. Like, bring it in. Let's have a talk. Real deal holy for you.

George B. Thomas:

Because here's the thing. When life doesn't match up to the perfect fantasy that we're scrolling through on the Instagram feed, the Facebook feed, the whatever feed, when when it doesn't look like it looks in the carnival mirror of our TV screens, then all of a sudden, we feel like we're the problem. Uh-oh. What happens then? Well, then we start wondering if we should trust ourself.

George B. Thomas:

Should we love ourself? Is there something wrong with us? And so the toxic exterior is starting to create a toxic interior, and they're both eroding because of the anyway, vulnerability and fear. 2 things that we've talked about on this podcast historically. Go check out the other episodes.

George B. Thomas:

We'll make sure there's links in the description if you haven't listened to them. Listen. There is no way around what I am about to say. Loving someone means putting yourself out there. Loving someone means being real.

George B. Thomas:

Loving someone means showing your true self. Now let's be honest. That's freaking terrifying. Like, if you think that it's easy to put yourself out there, be real, and show your true self, you're probably lying to yourself because that stuff is difficult. Like, wear masks.

George B. Thomas:

We build walls. We've got all sorts of metaphors on how we keep ourselves safe. Especially difficult to do those things when we live in a world that praises independence and toughness. So admitting that we need love or that it hurts when we don't get it can make us feel weak. Liz, we've talked about when did love stop being cool, the cool factor.

George B. Thomas:

Somewhere along the way in our society, staying emotionally distant became the cool thing to do. James Dean, the Fonz. Like, free, independent, don't need anybody, on your Harley, riding down the road. Like, there's this this thing that we're trying to, like, not get people like, instead of being genuine and open, we've turned to, like, irony, sarcasm, and playing it cool as a defense. Trust me.

George B. Thomas:

And I think this is why I talk about the, like, historical George and the now George. For many humans like myself, being guarded is the norm. And if being guarded is the norm, love ain't cool anymore. And if love ain't cool anymore, you can't seek and find the thing that you need most.

Liz Moorehead:

I've got a couple of thoughts here as evidenced by the fact that you watched me pick up my notebook and started

George B. Thomas:

to get your notebook. And I'm like, am I going to the principal's office again?

Liz Moorehead:

No. You brought up a lot of really things that I think we need to talk about here. 1st of all, and I wanna dig a deeper on the pop

Liz Moorehead:

culture aspect of it. Has anybody ever noticed that our favorite love stories end right when

Liz Moorehead:

the actual love story begins? Like, all of these movies that don't get me wrong. Your girl loves a rom com. Your girl loves Sleepless in Seattle. Your girl loves all of these movies.

George B. Thomas:

The notebook? Come on.

Liz Moorehead:

No. I actually really don't like them.

George B. Thomas:

Oh, what? Are you serious? That's a whole another episode then.

Liz Moorehead:

I think they're incredibly toxic. She kinda sucks. Like, I just rewatched Notting Hill recently, and I felt like, were we all gaslit into thinking Julia Roberts' character was nice? She's actually kind of awful to him. Like, it's

George B. Thomas:

it's So that's interesting where your mind is on these things. So go ahead.

Liz Moorehead:

No. Because here's the thing. When I watched a lot of these movies when I was younger, I loved Notting Hill. Right? Oh my gosh.

Liz Moorehead:

He's a bookshop owner, falls in love with an actress, but But she never listens to him. She's actually this weird kind of detached aloof person. And then there are numerous times where she does things that in a normal healthy relationship, he has every right to be upset. For example, the first time they are together, she's actually still with a boyfriend. He doesn't know that.

Liz Moorehead:

He finds that out later. And I kept waiting for this moment of her to go and say, he thinks we're still together. I've tried to break up with him numerous times. I didn't know he was gonna be here. And instead, it turns out they actually are still in a whole ass relationship together.

Liz Moorehead:

She is still with Alec Baldwin. And then she gets mad at him because he doesn't understand what it's like to live a life in the spotlight. Like, it's just absolutely banana stuff. I also think this has to do with very bad writing because every single other character is very well developed in the movie. Like, everybody she's just this weird anomaly that doesn't make any sense.

Liz Moorehead:

But to my broader point, think about how pop culture presents all of these great love stories.

Liz Moorehead:

Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

I was joking about it earlier, but the love story between Olivia Pope and president Fitz Grant is insane. He is a stalker. He is not a healthy person. That is obsession. That is infatuation.

Liz Moorehead:

That is he has put her on such a high pedestal. She is not even Olivia Pope anymore. She is an escapist fantasy because he hates his own life. Like, I'm sure there's also the love component. And don't get me wrong.

Liz Moorehead:

Again, I love Scandal. I love Olivia Pope. I love Vince Grant. But, like, pop culture teaches us and says these things are love. So then we think, oh, these things are love.

Liz Moorehead:

Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

But they're not. Love is forged whether you're taught whether we're talking about romantic love, familial love, friendship love. Again, I've written about this in the newsletter. You have all the great memories. Have all the beautiful moments.

Liz Moorehead:

But the moments that bring you closer to someone, the moment that makes you go yes, are the moments where you have to do hard things together

Liz Moorehead:

Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

Are the moments where you have to choose each other even and especially when it's hard. Yeah. You know? Even when my ex husband and I split up, it was very challenging because we were having conversations where we had to kind of admit to each other. We're doing this because we love each other.

Liz Moorehead:

This is not the way anything is supposed to be.

George B. Thomas:

Deeper than romantic love. That's the thing. Like

Liz Moorehead:

Yeah. Exactly. Love shows up in these weird ways, but think about what pop culture teaches us. You either have someone or you don't you don't and you're broken. You have this type of love And if it doesn't look like this type of love, which is, by the way, Hollywoodification.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

It is infatuation. It explores one very specific part of a relationship. And then it's, quote, happily ever after. So there's that piece of it. Right?

Liz Moorehead:

And then you brought up something fascinating. Right? You brought up the idea of the true self. You have to show your true self. And this is where that idea comes in first.

Liz Moorehead:

Right? You have to pour love into yourself before you can pour love into the world. But if you pour love into yourself, it becomes far easier to do that. And it enables other people to do the same for you. But that require in order to show your true self, a couple of things have to happen first.

Liz Moorehead:

It's not step 1, show your true self. Step 1 is allow yourself to see yourself. Because that's often what happens. We're not just wearing a mask to the world about who we are. We're wearing that mask with ourselves.

Liz Moorehead:

Because at some point, we trained ourselves to only be a version of ourselves. That version is what is acceptable. That version is what we're allowed to be. Preach. Because yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

And that is how we end up in these bizarre situations where instead of trying to assert and find true belonging, we try to fit in. We contort ourselves like a paper clip. So in order to actually show our true self to others, we first need to look in the mirror, see ourselves, and say, this is okay. This is more than okay.

George B. Thomas:

By the way

Liz Moorehead:

the only way you get comfortable doing

Liz Moorehead:

that.

George B. Thomas:

I have to throw this in. When you're looking in that mirror, make sure you're looking in the agape mirror.

Liz Moorehead:

Oh, yeah.

George B. Thomas:

I'm just saying. A couple things come to mind, Liz. It's funny you mentioned a lot of chaotic words that were masquerading as love. Right? I was transported into yeah.

George B. Thomas:

It's masquerading as love, and this is probably why my grandpa said garbage in, garbage out. Because because you see it, you you now believe it. It's funny. I go I I think it was AT and T did the the commercial where it's like, if if it's online, it's true. Right?

George B. Thomas:

Bonjour. Like, the the the like, the French guy. I'm like, no. That's not no. Especially in a world of AI, like, believe none of what you see, half of what you hear.

George B. Thomas:

Like, the the world is just changing, and so, like, we're programmed through all of these ways that we think love is or we're supposed to believe in love. And so this literally makes me wanna talk about, like, in an episode of good ways to guard yourself around what you allow in your life based on what you wanna export from your life. Anyway, oh, man. This is such a good conversation.

Liz Moorehead:

This is where it gets just really fascinating because it's this whole idea of exactly what you said. Right? What we take in informs our world view. It shapes what we believe is good, bad, or neutral. About ourselves, about our lives, about what we want, about who we are.

Liz Moorehead:

And we live in a bit of a strange society. And our country is founded upon this ideal of exceptionalism via individualism. Right?

George B. Thomas:

Say that fucking fast.

Liz Moorehead:

I know. Right? We rise by quote unquote being our most authentic selves. Championing ourself. But that's actually not true.

Liz Moorehead:

That's actually not true. We have a very low tolerance for things that do not conform. This is a whole separate episode that we do need to have a conversation about. But if we talk about it from the perspective of love, this is where you need to start asking yourself. Are you seeking without what you should be seeking within first?

George B. Thomas:

Maybe that's the quote of the episode. Thank god.

Liz Moorehead:

And the other thing you need to ask yourself is, is it really actually uncool? Or do you know love is the coolest thing in the world and you just don't think it's cool to say it out loud? Because my guess is it's that.

George B. Thomas:

It's cool, but I'm afraid

Liz Moorehead:

Hey. That's me. Don't you dare. Don't you dare. That's hurtful.

George B. Thomas:

So I'm just I'm saying.

Liz Moorehead:

George, why isn't it in the superhuman framework? What the heck?

George B. Thomas:

I had so many emotions when I saw this question. I first

Liz Moorehead:

wanted to cry. Coming.

George B. Thomas:

But I wanted to cry and then I wanted to scream because it is part of the superhuman framework.

Liz Moorehead:

No. It's it's infused and inferred, but it's not.

George B. Thomas:

But it is. Here's the thing. We actually haven't had a chance to dig in and talk about this underlying foundation that is part of the 10 h elements. And and by the way, I did a interview with Chris Carolyn, a friend of mine, around, like, the business side of this because we're taking the superhuman framework from just personal growth to personal teams and organizational culture because we've just seen this, like, massive impact in being able to talk around it this way. But in a conversation that I was having with him, I was talking about it's the underlying foundation.

George B. Thomas:

It's almost like the table stakes that one needs to be thinking about when they layer on the 10 h's above, and that's love, purpose, passion, and persistence. Like, those four words, love, purpose, passion, and persistence, are so entangled and entwined in the 10 h's in the life that you're trying to live when you're trying to live a life beyond your default. And so I wanna give examples of, like, it is in the framework, the veins of the arteries of the framework. And so what it might look like is, like, if we look at happiness, love is more than just a fleeting feeling or a feel good moment. It's what makes happiness deep and lasting if we have love tied into it.

George B. Thomas:

When we when we genuinely love others and ourselves, like we've talked about so far on this podcast, happiness becomes more than just a passing emotion. It it's something that sticks around, grows stronger, radiating out and, from us and around of those, it becomes happiness, transforms itself into what I might call joy. Listen. We think about health, love, especially self love, going and get a manny and pedi, nudges us to take better care of our selves. It motivates us to develop healthy habits, and it it motivates us to practice self care and kindness.

George B. Thomas:

And when we're surrounded by love from others, we get the emotional support we need to stay mentally strong, mentally healthy. If we look at hustle and hungry, the words that we've combined together, love is the fire that fuels our drive and passion. It's what makes us hungry for more and more knowledge, more growth, more success. When we truly love our goals, the people in our lives, and and and life itself, we stay motivated to keep pushing forward. If I think about helpful in the framework, when love is at the heart of what we do, helping others isn't just something we do out of obligation.

George B. Thomas:

It's something we want to do. Ladies and gentlemen, this is why we create the podcast in every episode. It's something we want to do. We wanna be helpful. Love naturally makes us wanna support and uplift a hand up, not a hand out.

George B. Thomas:

Those around us because we genuinely care about their well-being. Humility. Love teaches us humility. It reminds us that putting others first, recognizing our limits, and staying open to learning are all part of being connected to something bigger than ourselves. Through love, we learn to stay grounded and focused on what really matters.

George B. Thomas:

Liz, I could go through the rest of the h's with ease, but what I want everybody to understand is that love is in humor. Love is in the holistic mindset. Love is in honesty. Love is in humanity by all that is holy. Oh my god.

George B. Thomas:

And holiness. You can't have a conversation about holiness and have some level of love. I don't care if you're Muslim, Islamic, Christian. Like, there are fundamental elements in there. Like, in a spiritual sense, love often feels sacred.

George B. Thomas:

It it guides our actions and intentions. It helps us live with purpose and stay aligned with higher principles. Love inspires us to connect with something bigger, whether that's through faith, spirituality, or deep respect for the world, the universe around us. So, like, love is everything. Love is everywhere.

George B. Thomas:

It's our relationship that we have to lean in and focus on what part are we willing to play with it and in it.

Liz Moorehead:

Well, you already started kind of answering this, but I am curious, particularly since it wasn't that long ago that we had this conversation where you and I were both like, well, yeah, we don't wanna sound like hippies.

George B. Thomas:

Yeah.

Liz Moorehead:

We would really we would really hard pass. And no offense to hippies. You guys have guys have great music in the sixties.

George B. Thomas:

Yo. Listen. My mom is like she's very much kind of that hippie person.

Liz Moorehead:

Yeah. Because even think about it. Let's think about it. Like, we won't don't wanna be hippies, but if you actually sit down, think hippies are really nice.

George B. Thomas:

Man, good people, by the way.

Liz Moorehead:

Really good. Exactly. But we don't wanna be them. So this is what's so fascinating about this. This whole conversation is we've basically would say her like, we are the biggest champions of love.

George B. Thomas:

Do not tell anyone. Well, but here's the thing. Because we don't want to admit that we have judged them for being who they are, and therefore, we won't be like them even if we think they're cool in fear that others will judge us for being who we are.

Liz Moorehead:

So you're just gonna break my brain like that. You're gonna break my brain like that while we're live.

George B. Thomas:

This is the paradox we're in. This is the paradox that most humans live in.

Liz Moorehead:

I will not hold this against you forever. It's fine.

George B. Thomas:

Just the rest of the day?

Liz Moorehead:

Just the rest of the day and into eternity. It's fine. Oh. So what's fascinating about this what's fascinating about this conversation though is that it wasn't that long ago. The conversation you and I had where you said you can't say love is the reason for everything.

Liz Moorehead:

You just say that. And when we pushed, we were both like, well, we don't wanna

Liz Moorehead:

be we don't wanna look like hippies. We don't wanna look uncool.

Liz Moorehead:

Right? That was literally 2 weeks ago. So you and I have now done an abrupt about face in some ways. Like, where should we showed up to the mic today ready to have this conversation?

George B. Thomas:

Well, I made myself mad.

Liz Moorehead:

You made yourself mad.

George B. Thomas:

I made myself mad. I was mad that I even said that, and I was mad that I wasn't willing to not show up as a hippie, not show up as a Christian Jesus freak, but I was mad because I wasn't willing to show up as George. And this conversation is a George conversation. This conversation is a Liz conversation. This conversation is a Bob, a Jenny, a Susie.

George B. Thomas:

I can't list out all the names that are out there in the world. This is a you freaking conversation.

Liz Moorehead:

So how do you want people to think about love differently? How can we make love cool again?

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. Well, first of all, realize it's a you conversation, and you need to be cool. So freaking embrace love. But going deeper than that, I want people to look at love as and, again, we've kind of alluded to this, but you gotta look at love as an active practice. Think of action and choice.

George B. Thomas:

Like, get past all the things that we've talked about. Love is not just about feeling warm and fuzzy. It's about what you do every day across different traditions. If you really dig into this and start to do some studying on the types of love that we mentioned, across different traditions, love is described as something you practice through acts of kindness, helping others, showing compassion, being loyal. Love is an action.

George B. Thomas:

It's about how you care for humans and how you take on your responsibilities and how you show up even when it's tough. Love isn't just a feeling. It's a choice that we get the opportunity to make every single day as long as we're not 6 feet under the ground. So what choice, what actions, what way will you show up today? I want people to look at love as something to help them be rooted in compassion and understanding.

George B. Thomas:

By the way, at the core of all of the teachings, Muslim, Christian, Islamic, Buddhism, at the core of all of these teachings is the idea that love is all about compassion, empathy, and wanting the best for others. The funny thing about this journey beyond your default life is when you actually want the best for others, the best for you shows up at your front door. When we try to truly understand people, even those who are and you've met them, they might be your family members, they might be your friends, but especially those people who are hard to love, we build stronger connections and we create a more peaceful world. Ladies and gentlemen, if there's something that we need in our culture today, it's just for it to be a little bit more peaceful and less chaotic. And I want people to look at love as the foundation of community and maybe even a lever or gauge for justice.

George B. Thomas:

Love isn't just something that exists between individuals. It also is about how we treat our communities. And, Liz, you know, like, for years now, I've been focused on community and community building in the different spaces that I'm in the HubSpot ecosystem, now the Beyond Your Default. Like, it's about community. It's about a collective.

George B. Thomas:

It's about creating a mini society. And when love drives us to seek justice, equity, equality, collective well-being, we help build a more compassionate, and dare I say, fair society slash community slash circle, group o humans that we hang out with. I want to inject in the brains, the minds, the souls, the spirits, the hearts of the listeners that when we think about love, I want us to think about devotion and loyalty. One thing that you will find out about me and I would say, Liz, and also probably the people that we hang out with is that we have a loyalty to a fault. If you are my ride or die, if I am Toretto, trust me.

George B. Thomas:

You are with me till the end. And so that's because of this foundational love. Like and, again, let's go out of the Fast and Furious reference and talk about, like, traditions of the world. If most of the traditions highlight love as a deep enduring commitment, whether it's to your family, your community, or something greater than yourself. The kind of love isn't just about, again, the way you feel.

George B. Thomas:

It's about sticking by the people, sticking by the values that you actually care about. It's the kind of commitment that brings stability and purpose to our lives. I kind of do this funny thing where at the end of the episode, I go, living a life beyond your default. What I want people to realize is when I talk about that, I'm really talking about a pathway to inner peace and fulfillment. The only way that you live a life beyond your default, the only way that you walk a path to inner peace and fulfillment is by loving yourself, loving others, and we've kind of alluded or poked at this or or even blatantly said it through this podcast.

George B. Thomas:

Loving others isn't just good for them. It's good for them. Don't get me wrong. But it's essential for your own sense of peace and happiness. Buddhism teaches us that by practicing compassion and letting go of selfish desires that we can find inner harmony.

George B. Thomas:

Likewise, the Christian faith and Islamic teachings suggest that living a life of love brings us closer to our true purpose and leads to a deeper sense of contentment than material success ever could. Liz, the foundational elements, If you think about what I just said of the 10 h framework, the superhuman framework, love, purpose, passion, persistence, like, these are all built into and out of just these core elements and essence. I need people to quit looking in the carnival fun mirror. I need people to quit believing or idolizing these abstract ideas of love. Love equals meaningful.

George B. Thomas:

Love means connected. Love means a fulfilling life.

Liz Moorehead:

I was a little disappointed when you said let's move away from the fast and furious stuff, but

George B. Thomas:

I I understand.

Liz Moorehead:

I understand. Okay. So, George, if someone were to take one thing away from this episode, what would it be?

Liz Moorehead:

Yeah. By

George B. Thomas:

the way, I'm super curious what your one thing is gonna be. My one thing would be I'm cheating. I'm gonna do 2 things. So first of all, I would beg that your goal would be in the next thing that I'm about to say that you are chasing agape love. I would beg you to focus on agape, the selfless love, the love that is extended to all people, the love that is focused on compassion and commitment, that's focused on well-being of yourself and others.

George B. Thomas:

Now if that's the direction that you're headed, the next thing that I would just say is make it a daily practice. Make love an intentional daily practice. Love is not just something that happens. Love is something that we actively choose. So as a daily practice, incorporate love into your routines.

George B. Thomas:

This might be kindness. This might be offering support. This might be just taking time to be present for others. But trust me, when love becomes a habit, it shapes not only your relationship, but also your character and your outlook on life. If you can change your outlook, you will change your outcome.

George B. Thomas:

Liz, what's your one takeaway?

Liz Moorehead:

Life gets infinitely more fun when you stop worrying about whether or not something is cool or uncool, whether that's love or the things that you love. Half the time, whether we're talking about love or something else, we're worried about being judged, which means we are dimming our light, which means we are not willing to show our true selves to ourselves or to anybody else because we believe that who we are as we are is not enough or is too much or will not fit in or dada dada dada dada. The moment we we shine as brightly as possible with love, with excitement for things like Fast and Furious movies, love them forever.

Liz Moorehead:

By the

Liz Moorehead:

way, I have some bad news for you. They've delayed the release of the last movie until 2026. Dodo. Yeah. I saw that and I

George B. Thomas:

I don't love that.

Liz Moorehead:

I hate that. I hate that for all of us. Like, Vin Diesel, you are robbing us of your art. Come on, man. Although there is a rumor John Cena is gonna be back.

Liz Moorehead:

Oh.

George B. Thomas:

I know. Okay.

Liz Moorehead:

I know.

George B. Thomas:

And The Rock? Anyway, not why we're here.

Liz Moorehead:

Yeah. The Rock. Well, he it's supposed to be about him.

George B. Thomas:

Okay. Now

Liz Moorehead:

You remember the after credit scene?

George B. Thomas:

Yeah. Yeah. Now we're getting somewhere. Okay.

Liz Moorehead:

Alright. So think about it this way. I love watching people light up when they finally remove the trappings of what they believe they need to show up as. And those moments where you start watching people talk about what they love and who they love and they're doing so in such a way that you can tell they they don't have that doubt or fear. They feel psychologically safe to love whatever it is and whoever it is that they love.

Liz Moorehead:

It is incredible. People fundamentally change. They talk with their whole body. They smile with their whole body. They become love personified.

Liz Moorehead:

And you know what? Here's what I will tell you. Stop worrying about being cool or uncool because there are always gonna be people who think you're uncool. But them thinking you're uncool is more about rejecting a part of themselves than it is about rejecting you. Because think about the times, George, in your life where you've looked at someone and went unless they were kicking puppies, in which case f them.

Liz Moorehead:

Don't kick puppies. But, like, talking. But think about, like, where people are being unabashed about who they are, what they are, who they love, what they love, and you're just, part of that has to do is we kinda wish we could be like them. Maybe not exactly like them. Maybe we don't love the same things, but we envy their ability to just be out there and themselves.

Liz Moorehead:

You're not for everybody nor should you be. That's why it's called the one, not many ones. You know? That's why it's your tribe. Not all peoples all the time.

Liz Moorehead:

Be uncool. It's alright. It's fun over here. It's way more fun.

George B. Thomas:

Listeners, here's the deal. I love that don't be all things to all people because you can't be. But here's the thing. Let your light shine. I swear to god, don't you dare dim it.

George B. Thomas:

Be cool by the way and lead with love because that truly is the cool factor. And being able to enable yourself to lead with love and then the only thing left to do is go out there and live a life beyond your default.