R.O.F.L. (Reach Out For Love)

Join Basma and Maria in their debut episode of ROFL (Reaching Out for Love), where they delve into the intricate journey of finding your life's purpose. In this lively discussion, they explore the Japanese philosophy of Ikigai, a concept that intertwines what you love, what you're good at, what you can get paid for, and what the world needs. Along the way, they share personal anecdotes, insights on self-reflection, and the importance of small gestures in making a meaningful impact on others' lives. If you're seeking motivation and guidance on discovering your path in life, this episode offers valuable wisdom and real-life experiences to help you navigate the quest for your own Ikigai.

What is R.O.F.L. (Reach Out For Love)?

with Basma Awada

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You're listening to locally produced programming created in KUNV Studios on Public Radio. KUNV 91.5.

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What's up everybody? Welcome to ROFL!

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The show about motivation and love, being yourself.

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How do you be yourself?

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Let's find out.

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What are we talking about today?

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We are talking about finding your life purpose.

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Alright, okay, so I'm going to introduce us again.

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My name is Bazzma, this is Maria. Hi guys, I'm Maria. This is my best friend. We've been best friends since high school.

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No, middle school!

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Middle school!

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We met in middle school.

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Okay.

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We met in middle school.

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Yes.

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Remember?

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Where? Tell them where.

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Right?

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Yeah.

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Totally.

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Totally remember.

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No, I went to like two different middle schools.

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You did.

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And then the one that we saw each other in, I totally know this one. The answer to this is Lawrence.

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No.

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Wrong!

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Oh, yeah.

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But do you remember where we first met of course I was just testing We met in choir guys choir, yeah, yes been a long time Yes choir, and then we went to two different two different separate high schools I went to spring Valley you went to Durango and then actually did not go to drink

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The most forgetful friends you'll hear on the radio, ladies and gentlemen.

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That's so funny.

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Okay, which heist did she- It doesn't even matter at this point.

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We're gonna forget this out.

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We're best friends. Like, this person in front of me is literally my soulmate. We've definitely been through a lot of ups and downs.

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Yeah, which is why we're here talking about motivation, right?

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We are. And if there's someone in life that I know in life that knows everything about motivation bestie. It's her It's possible guys, it's possible. All right, where would you like to stroll us around along? Tell us what the show is about

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The show is about motivating yourself and getting through your day and being yourself You know, you guys ever hear the term be yourself. Like what does that even mean? Like, how do I be myself? How do you be yourself? Yeah, like how? Has anyone ever told you that, Maria? Can you remember a time someone told you that?

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Yes, I have. Yeah. Especially when I was younger, it was really hard to find myself, be myself. I didn't even know what that meant. I was very lost. I was trying to be people that, you know, forcing myself to be someone that I wasn't. It's hard. There's like an age in your life where you don't know who you are.

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Right, exactly. And I think that's like very common for the most people because I've spoken to some high schoolers and they're all Like they all tell me the same thing. They're like, well, how do I be myself? And I'm like, bro That's what I'm saying. You know what I mean? I know who I am. I know what I want. Yeah speaking of college That's what you got to know for college, right? Exactly

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So that's exactly the reason why we're here is to possibly like give that advice to people that are feeling lost that they don't know what career to choose that you know that You know that there's been so many times in my life where I just like had no idea what to do But it all starts with yourself with yourself So I did some research. Oh Love philosophy, but do you remember Socrates? There's thought I thought it was so pretty or Socrates. I think the big huge part about knowing what what and how is by knowing thyself first. Right. And it starts there. And what he says is like you don't really know anything at all. So for the people that are feeling kind of like lost and pressured to finding yourself and your purpose, don't feel bad. Like don't feel bad like this is the end. It's nobody really knows what they're doing. Right. What you could do is like spend some time alone, right? Yeah, through habits, disciplines, passions, even even traumas actually, even going through your past lessons that you learn. Did you ever start a journal? Yes. Journaling is number one way to definitely like see like what progress you can go through life. You know. And I didn't start journaling actually, till I was like, hardcore journaling, till I was in my 20s.

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Yeah, I was just about to ask you, cause like, I feel like I started journaling a long time ago before I even knew what journaling was.

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Okay, yeah, you know what, I lied to you. I started journaling when I was 13, but not like, you know, since I was 13.

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Like not like hardcore journaling.

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Cause like when life gets old, when you get older, life gets harder, and you're just like, there's so many things to say. So many people have hurt me.

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Speaking of which, that's our next topic, right? Like, how do you guys get over friends that hurt you?

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Oh yeah. Yeah, definitely.

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And like, you feel betrayed.

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Why have you betrayed me?

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Who betrayed you?

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Not me!

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Not you, Bessie!

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What are you talking about?

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What happened?

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Oh no, no one's hurt me. Right now, I'm unbreakable. I'm unstoppable at this point but like when you get older you get like tougher you know I mean definitely but because you got a bigger journal because

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yeah because running through those anxieties and you know it gets real out there for sure but yeah definitely you know starting with yourself and defining yourself you know you start to believe in your value I think like finding your purpose in yourself starts with finding your self-worth and who you are. And knowing that no matter what room you go in, you are there for a reason and the space that you're in doesn't need to be validated by anybody else. And I was until, I think it was in college, I had a really rough time in college, man. I always thought that I wasn't enough, that I wasn't doing good enough. College is pretty difficult. Yeah, like, you know, like, I felt like the professors never liked me, you know what I mean? Like, I felt like my classmates, like, were think, thought that I was weird, you know, and... I feel like even when you get older, you still deal with that, though. Yeah, but I do it less, you know, and I'm proud of that. I'm proud of that, and it gets, like, a long time to get there, like, not caring what people think about you. Right, right. And knowing your worth. Right, and how do

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we get there? Well, here's some tips and tricks for you guys out there wondering how you can get to that level. My advice over here is that you got to rest and give yourself some self love. Like I was saying earlier, take some time and to do just absolutely nothing. Just like literally sit for a day doing absolutely nothing, just self reflecting and then like grab your journal, gather your thoughts and then think about what is important to you and only you, you know? You don't want to think about what so-and-so wants you to do or what so-and-so else is doing. Like, just think about what matters to you as an individual and if you're having a hard time doing that, just go for a walk or something. Think to yourself, what have I done in my life that I always find myself coming back to?

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You know what I mean?

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Exactly, oh my gosh. You're preaching. I love it.

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Preach to the choir.

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Speaking of choir, we spoke about choir earlier.

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By the way guys, my bestie, she sings.

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Oh no. Oh no.

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She loves singing. She actually hasn't stopped singing and she sings very beautifully. By the end of the show, can you sing a song for us? Maybe. Yeah. But going back to what we were saying, if someone were to want to know, you know, like after you put yourself first and you journal and everything what would be the next step like you know not doing anything

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Well, you definitely What and I suggest you definitely need to make a schedule because life gets pretty crazy pretty hectic wouldn't you agree like yeah job is? daunting and you got college schedules and you got like Family problems, and then you got a lot of there's a lot of different news I'll pop up and especially if you're doing extracurriculars like soccer and like mm-hmm or you know sports or anything honestly like ice skating I love that I think it's like

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important to create those goals in order for like if if you want to see yourself do something different in your life and finding that purpose you have to start by creating those goals and

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it starts by doing tiny tiny things like making your bed and then like yeah and but if you schedule it, that's exactly what was the next thing I was gonna say, like the goals, like once you schedule what you what your day looks like, you can start seeing what are some realistic goals that you can set for your future that you actually like doing? Because if you're not doing it today, exactly, are you actually going to do it tomorrow? Like, like, have you done it before? Like, yeah, if you do it tomorrow, like, are you gonna stick with it? How much do you really want this? Do you want this?

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Or do you not tell me Maria? Do you want? Oh, sorry

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They told us not to slap the table, but we keep slapping the table like slapping the base

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But you know 100% but you know You know It starts with that discipline and for your passions or new passions or you know creating that and you know just knowing that nobody's perfect everybody isn't perfect and and we are a work in progress no matter what right? so if you start and if you fail and if you fail again if you start like in a you know minoring something in college and you don't like it and then you're like feel like a failure and You want to start doing something else that people would judge you about just do it

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You know what? I mean? Yeah, and if you feel like oh, I'm gonna start start and stop Like you think that that's going to be an issue Then just like set a reminder for yourself You can easily put that on your schedule and be like, all right Make like what I used to do because I always lose my phone for some reason. Yeah

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Oh, I know remember to keep my phone and her keys a lot

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Yeah, I always lose my phone or it's not hard or something But what I do now whenever I lose my phone, I'll just like I set like two alarms I'll put one at 250 and then one at like 11 and then like it'll randomly ring and I'm like, oh, yeah I forgot my phone. There it is Try to do little things like that help you like with your day

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That's why I said by the way, but see if there's anybody in the world that does that more You know good like well is you like scheduling you do she has like this enormous schedule and she makes me do it She knows that it works and I swear to God, it works so well. Her whole Google calendar, I think you use Google calendar, right? Every little second of her life is planned and I think that's so amazing. I would also, but also I would, oh my gosh, because if I don't do what's planned on my schedule then I would feel kind of stressed.

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Yeah, well the thing is I actually change my schedule every week and I'm nervous like I'll make a whole schedule for like six months and then I'll be like no Now I need to do something different So it's okay to make a schedule and then not follow it if as long as you're just because like life changes

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You can't just follow a schedule like it's it doesn't work like it's more like an outline to right to get you on the road And remind yourself I think you said that to me one more time like one day you were like just set an alarm for your schedule to just remind yourself to keep going back to that even though you don't accomplish

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Yeah, and I'm gonna mention to you guys if you guys do decide to start your schedule Make sure that you guys keep in mind that there are certain things on there that are gonna be very important for you like studying Get to that studying. You know what I mean? Yeah, you don't want to you don't want to start studying and then be like, I don't need to follow my schedule. No, no, don't tell your teachers I said that. No, but like obviously just go ahead and like make your schedule, but there's gonna be some things on your schedule that are gonna be read that you definitely don't want to not do. Like me, I'm a musician, so I want to make sure I practice my piano at least a little bit every single week. So, and if I didn't practice piano, then I'm not working on my craft. So think about those things that you work on that are for your craft.

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Like me with photography, right? You know, like I want to start like doing photography again, and I have to put that on my schedule. And if I don't, like, you know, it's never going to get done. And my best my bestie, she's always telling me you got to keep just trying to do it.

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Yeah, don't put pressure on yourself, though. You don't want to be. It's not like, I mean, put pressure on yourself. But don't put pressure on.

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Yeah, yeah.

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Don't grab it. Yeah, no, I totally understand. Bessie, can I tell you about something really, really nice? Another philosophy thing. I think you'll like this one. Okay, so it goes with purpose, finding your purpose. And actually, it was something really like awesome that I read. It was a meme. I read it like on a TikTok.

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Okay.

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And somebody showed it to me. That's very special to me. And it's actually a Japanese word. Ikigai. Have you ever heard of Ikigai?

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Yes, it's right in front of me.

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So I never heard of this philosophy term ever. Okay, I love Japanese culture and all this stuff. But Ikigai means life purpose. So basically, iki meaning alive or life and gai meaning benefit of worth.

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Oh, okay.

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So going back to what we were saying, we have to start with ourselves. We have to start with knowing thyself and knowing thy worth. Like who we are and what we want. Yeah. So ikigai, and this is how it works. It's a Japanese philosophy that dates back to between 794 to, it doesn't matter, but it was a long, long time ago. It's becoming popular more with younger generations, you know, like college students and everything, right. And it's just in Japan, especially for the people that are interested in having meaning meaningful work lives, or, you know, careers or everything like that, or just like a purpose, right. So in life, you have to find what's worthy for you, you know, like we said, nothing's perfect, you know, everything's a perfect right. I agree with that.

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Completely, yeah.

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But the Western Night version of Ikigai, it says like, Ikigai's in the middle. Just pretend that Ikigai's right in the middle. And there's four different circles around it, or four different pillars, okay? Just imagine that. Ikigai's in the middle, and what you have to do is, in order to find your purpose, you have to say, you have to ask yourself, what do you love? Right, right. What is it that you love?

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That's actually extremely important for all of this if you guys like remember the time I said that they have to sit down and self-reflect. Yeah, like that is what they want to think about think about ikigai

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Thank you guy. What is your ikigai right and starting with what is your life? That's the what is your love? That is the first circle. Yeah, the second circle is What the world what the or no, what are you good at? So what is it that you love? What are you good at? And that's the second circle, right? And then the third circle is what, what you can get paid for? Oh, okay. Like, it's like, teach you guys how to make some bank. Exactly. So finding your ikigai is what you love. What's your passion? You know, what what drives you? What's that's, that's where that purpose comes. What you're good at, you know, maybe your passion is what is something that you didn't know that you're good at. For me, I love photography. I don't know why. I just like photography. I may or may not be good at it. Maybe I compare myself to other people. That's where the negativity comes from and that's what you don't want in an ikigai. There's actually another philosophy that says, a Japanese philosophy that says, it's called obituary, I may say it wrong, but it says, don't compare yourself with others. Everyone has a different timeline and unique path. It's important to focus on your own progress rather than trying to measure yourself against others, just like you said earlier, don't compare yourself. So in order to find what you love, what you are good at, and that's how you could possibly get paid for it. So I could get paid for my photography.

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Right, right.

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I think another important aspect in all that you just said is that sometimes even the things that you're not good at, you're gonna have to work at those too. Exactly. To build, like you gotta build on your weaknesses and build on your strengths in order to get there, right? Exactly. So I think that, yeah, those are really good points that you brought up. And then the last one, just to like put the full, the full, full circle. Okay, alright, give it to me, let's see what's going on. What the world needs so this is oh, what's okay? Okay, you are so good at doing this bestie. You you know how to like build like a purpose within your mind I don't know how she does it guys guy. I wish well. I wish I had yeah She just like yeah, go ahead. Okay, okay, so think about people in your life, right? All right now think about a person that like sometimes you look at them, and you're like okay I don't want to do this because it's gonna hurt them or I don't want to do this because it'll be bad for them well usually when you're thinking that it's actually gonna be good for you to do the thing that you think that's good for them usually and it starts off with those small things and then it builds up from there and then you start thinking oh I could help more people I want to do this for the world and then you know I think it's like karma honestly that's what I'm thinking is like something

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similar to that yeah yeah whatever you give out will come back we'll come back yeah you want to give good things so that's exactly what you keep I friend in your purposes It's like, you know What you love and what you're good at and how you could get paid for it But also how you could help the world and that is your purpose and you know, I think that's beautiful like I know a Funny thing about best my besties like whenever we like go around and go like we love eating at restaurants, right? But whenever she sees a homeless person, and you're always giving them money and everything, and she's really passionate about non-profits.

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I got my masters in public administration here at UNLV, just so I can start my own non-profit. But everybody, I feel like, has their thing where they can help people in different ways like that's what I'm learning growing up is even you even even Wesley over there in the engineering lab over there like he's everybody has their way that they help others and it doesn't matter like it doesn't have to be huge you know for you to like think of I gotta freaking start a whole entire organization just to like you know help people like that's how I started out. I was like, I want to create a non-profit for kids, for young adults. When I get older, I want to make sure it's this, this, this, and I want to be around the world. We all have big dreams as kids, I feel like. And then we get older and we're like, oh, I feel like such a little tiny pebble

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in such a giant world.

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100%. 100%.

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But like, I feel like when I've got older, now that I'm an oldie, you know what I mean? Now I feel like, oh, the smallest gesture actually makes the biggest, biggest difference. So just say hello to someone, that's how I feel. I used to say that before, I feel like people say that more now. Just say hi to people, you don't know what they're going through. It's like, yeah, I was saying that like 10 years ago, thanks dudes, for the past 10 years,

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where have you been?

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But I agree with you 100% because you never know like it could be like The smallest person that just walks by you and just says like the most wisest thing to you and that could change your whole entire path It's crazy how much meaning we could bring to other people's life

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And you know what else is that when you guys are working hard on your dreams and your daily motivation and your goals You realize that when you start talking to people You're you're gonna notice that there's gonna be a huge difference when you're talking to specific people every single time. Like you said, if someone's poor or homeless, at that moment, you start realizing, oh man, I could really help them a lot more now because I know how to, like for me, for example, when I graduated from my non-profit degree, I was like, oh, well now I actually know how to get you help, so let me get your contact information, let me send you over to this Organization so I can get you help like now. I feel like I'm a dope. I'm an adult Okay, I can do I can I can help people more. I'm not just a kid big dreams anymore

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You know, so like we're and that's your ikigai like you're actually putting it into Like through the stages of life and making sure that you get you know that you make them your that's your meaning and you make the purpose and you you know Work at it to create a difference And you know, that's your purpose to yeah, I think it's better

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You know what else is that like for our next show what we should talk about like for our next show We should talk about how sometimes you think you found your passion and you think you found what's your what's your want to do? For the rest of your life, but instead you decide to do you like finish it and then you're like, wait a second, no, I'm gonna do a totally like 180 spin and then you're gonna do something totally different. You have no idea where life's gonna take you. Yes.

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100%. Well, anyways, thanks guys for coming by and watching the show. Really, really, really, really appreciate you guys listening. We're really excited to be here. It's our first show actually. On UNLV. Yes, it is. It's our first show. I don't know what I'm doing I got it

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You got we got a beat going okay, okay. All right throw it back at me and I'm just kidding Hope you guys enjoy your days. Good luck at your school classes Get to studying start a schedule and work on your e-mail

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Thanks for watching ROFL reaching out for love with BASMA MARIA. If you want to check us out, please go to basmati at Instagram and mariadamielamodica at Instagram. If you want to check us out, please go to basmati at Instagram and mariadamielamodica at Instagram. See you guys later.

Transcribed with Cockatoo