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Let’s break the rules here. The first 5 of these Podcasts get right into practical help. Only after that I get around the long boring, but important stuff on what Anxiety is and does to your body. If you are suffering from anxiety-YOU DAMN WELL KNOW WHAT IT IS!
Let’s fix it!
I created this series as a reaction to all the pop-psychology and pseudo-science advice on the Internet. Patients mentioning these posts make me tired and grouchy.
I am a noted and accomplished clinical psychologist, a scientist and a clinician. These podcasts cut through those weeds of bad advice and give you very usable, practical approaches to calm your ANXIETY. If you want to quickly calm your stress and anxiety, listen in.
The techniques and approaches here are solidly based on the best practices and research in mental health and on the analysis of 6200 successful cases of coping with anxiety. Each episode gives doable techniques to help you NOW! These easy-to-listen podcasts are reassuringly life changing!
00;00;00;16 - 00;00;03;22
Dr. John Mayer
Episode four Anxiety's a bitch.
00;00;03;24 - 00;00;16;00
Dr. John Mayer
The fortress against anxiety. Inside out. Welcome. I'm going to turn out prevention efforts from what I discussed in the last episode. Improving the world around us. To calm anxiety.
00;00;16;02 - 00;00;16;07
Dr. John Mayer
To.
00;00;16;07 - 00;00;46;25
Dr. John Mayer
Things that you can do personally or from your inside out. But first, how about a bonus technique? You can buy the John Mayer Anxiety coloring book at at. I'm just kidding. Really? Here's my tip. Remember in episode two I talked about the problem solving technique? I encourage you to be a detective and make the unknown known. Well, here's a great tool in this process when you just can't figure out what is causing your anxiety.
00;00;46;27 - 00;00;48;00
Dr. John Mayer
Try writing down your.
00;00;48;00 - 00;00;51;11
Dr. John Mayer
Theories of what could be stressing you out.
00;00;51;14 - 00;00;55;13
Dr. John Mayer
Start with writing down anything, even if you know it's wrong. Just keep.
00;00;55;13 - 00;00;57;19
Dr. John Mayer
Writing. Theory after theory.
00;00;57;22 - 00;00;58;12
Dr. John Mayer
The answer to.
00;00;58;12 - 00;01;06;19
Dr. John Mayer
Your anxiety may just pop up. This technique is not foolproof, but I have seen people have great success with it.
00;01;06;22 - 00;01;09;22
Dr. John Mayer
This is what scientists often do when they are formulating.
00;01;09;22 - 00;01;12;25
Dr. John Mayer
Their hypotheses and the beginning of a research study.
00;01;12;28 - 00;01;21;23
Dr. John Mayer
Try it. Let's talk about you, how you can walk through the world and how this strat can prevent anxiety.
00;01;21;26 - 00;01;32;02
Dr. John Mayer
Here's my overall advice leading a rich, full life is fantastic. Anxiety prevention. Think about it. If stress or worry.
00;01;32;02 - 00;01;33;16
Dr. John Mayer
Attacks you in one area of your.
00;01;33;16 - 00;01;34;07
Dr. John Mayer
Life.
00;01;34;10 - 00;01;38;01
Dr. John Mayer
Let's say some financial pressure by having a rich, full.
00;01;38;01 - 00;01;50;06
Dr. John Mayer
Life with many engaging elements, you won't or even can't be overwhelmed by the anxiety of this particular stress. These other areas of your life will envelope this worry.
00;01;50;08 - 00;01;51;14
Dr. John Mayer
And take you away from.
00;01;51;14 - 00;02;12;16
Dr. John Mayer
Obsessing about it. People who suffer the most from anxiety are those who lead isolated monastic lives. Keeping the focus on within. Please let me plead to you to take care of your body. I talked about exercise in episode two. Let me repeat.
00;02;12;18 - 00;02;19;00
Dr. John Mayer
Exercise is an invaluable tool in calming anxiety. More and more, we.
00;02;19;00 - 00;02;20;23
Dr. John Mayer
Are leading sedentary lives.
00;02;20;23 - 00;02;26;01
Dr. John Mayer
In response. More and more, we need to move our bodies daily.
00;02;26;04 - 00;02;27;19
Dr. John Mayer
And as I tell people.
00;02;27;21 - 00;02;38;13
Dr. John Mayer
You're not training for the Olympics. So just get in the habit of some form of movement. A brisk walk. Yoga. Close your bedroom door and just dance.
00;02;38;16 - 00;02;42;00
Dr. John Mayer
Bike jumping jacks. Play with your kids or dog.
00;02;42;00 - 00;02;44;26
Dr. John Mayer
Or even your partner. Whatever.
00;02;44;28 - 00;02;48;11
Dr. John Mayer
Just be sure to get your heart rate up. Weight training is good.
00;02;48;11 - 00;02;54;28
Dr. John Mayer
Because your mind is diverted while you futz around with equipment. Just put some vigor into it.
00;02;55;00 - 00;02;59;01
Dr. John Mayer
Simply put, anxiety creates energy inside you.
00;02;59;03 - 00;03;01;12
Dr. John Mayer
And that energy will grind inside you.
00;03;01;12 - 00;03;11;12
Dr. John Mayer
Until you release it. I can explain the physiology behind this, but trust me. Better yet, try it and see how good you feel.
00;03;11;14 - 00;03;15;01
Dr. John Mayer
Along with our good friend next exercise, another pal of.
00;03;15;01 - 00;03;23;25
Dr. John Mayer
Ours should be good nutrition. Watch foods that will check up your anxiety level. Or sorry for that sophisticated clinical word.
00;03;23;25 - 00;03;27;27
Dr. John Mayer
Jakob. There are some obvious ones.
00;03;27;27 - 00;03;50;14
Dr. John Mayer
That do this, like caffeine, sugary and fatty foods, but watch foods loaded with salt. They raise blood pressure. Processed foods like luncheon meats. Our little sneakers here are always loaded with salt and preservatives. Be careful with energy drinks. These are just to name a few. Go ahead and Google this for a longer list.
00;03;50;17 - 00;03;52;10
Dr. John Mayer
Another inside out calming.
00;03;52;10 - 00;03;54;22
Dr. John Mayer
Agent is sleep.
00;03;54;24 - 00;03;56;08
Dr. John Mayer
I'm not going to discuss.
00;03;56;08 - 00;03;57;23
Dr. John Mayer
This at length here.
00;03;57;25 - 00;03;58;17
Dr. John Mayer
But the next.
00;03;58;17 - 00;04;09;19
Dr. John Mayer
Episode is all about sleep and I have some great material for you. Let's talk next about how you present yourself to the world.
00;04;09;21 - 00;04;25;16
Dr. John Mayer
And most importantly, how does this make you feel? Can it calm anxiety? You bet it can. Let me give you a couple of examples. A young man I helped was a typical looking right out of college guy, graduate of a top university.
00;04;25;19 - 00;04;28;22
Dr. John Mayer
His typical wardrobe was flip flops.
00;04;28;25 - 00;04;39;19
Dr. John Mayer
Plaid cotton pajama looking pants, flannel shirt, and a baseball cap. Turned around. It took him some time to score a good executive track job in.
00;04;39;19 - 00;04;51;02
Dr. John Mayer
A field he targeted for his career. He came to me because this first career job was causing him great anxiety. He didn't feel he was valued at his company.
00;04;51;05 - 00;04;52;09
Dr. John Mayer
We worked on several.
00;04;52;09 - 00;04;57;25
Dr. John Mayer
Things successfully to help his career, relationships, organization.
00;04;57;27 - 00;05;02;26
Dr. John Mayer
Scheduling his time in corporate politics. Then one meeting.
00;05;02;26 - 00;05;11;06
Dr. John Mayer
He came to see me directly from work. He had those beloved flip flops on very dated jeans and a short sleeved.
00;05;11;07 - 00;05;34;26
Dr. John Mayer
Blue button down. We had a strong enough rapport that I felt free to laugh out loud. And then we proceeded to chat about a complete makeover from yes, the bottom up feeling good about how he presented himself at work was the final straw, as it were, to come. His anxiety. Now, I'm sure it was the combination of all.
00;05;34;26 - 00;05;36;13
Dr. John Mayer
These techniques we talked about.
00;05;36;13 - 00;05;55;04
Dr. John Mayer
In sessions, but he is more confident, professional. His anxiety calmed and his career is on an upswing. Another example is a woman I saw via telemedicine. She was absolutely burned down by the pandemic. Work from home, isolation. Each time I.
00;05;55;04 - 00;05;56;07
Dr. John Mayer
Would see her, she was.
00;05;56;07 - 00;05;59;06
Dr. John Mayer
Disheveled. No makeup bedhead.
00;05;59;09 - 00;06;01;03
Dr. John Mayer
You get the picture.
00;06;01;05 - 00;06;02;03
Dr. John Mayer
She gave mild.
00;06;02;03 - 00;06;04;06
Dr. John Mayer
Resistance when I suggested that every day.
00;06;04;06 - 00;06;08;08
Dr. John Mayer
She put on makeup, do her hair, shower, and otherwise.
00;06;08;08 - 00;06;10;00
Dr. John Mayer
Dress like she would if she was.
00;06;10;00 - 00;06;10;11
Dr. John Mayer
Going.
00;06;10;16 - 00;06;13;01
Dr. John Mayer
Live into the office.
00;06;13;03 - 00;06;14;16
Dr. John Mayer
The transformation was.
00;06;14;16 - 00;06;17;07
Dr. John Mayer
Amazing. She did it as requested.
00;06;17;09 - 00;06;18;22
Dr. John Mayer
And she instantly.
00;06;18;22 - 00;06;20;04
Dr. John Mayer
Felt less anxiety.
00;06;20;06 - 00;06;22;09
Dr. John Mayer
And better able to cope with the pandemic.
00;06;22;09 - 00;06;27;02
Dr. John Mayer
Isolation. She felt like the executive she was.
00;06;27;04 - 00;06;28;19
Dr. John Mayer
Let me move on.
00;06;28;22 - 00;06;30;26
Dr. John Mayer
Here's a technique that I use that people.
00;06;30;26 - 00;06;33;28
Dr. John Mayer
Find extremely helpful to calm anxiety from.
00;06;33;28 - 00;06;38;18
Dr. John Mayer
The inside out. Compartmentalization.
00;06;38;20 - 00;06;42;10
Dr. John Mayer
You know, I haven't met a human being yet that doesn't have many life rules.
00;06;42;11 - 00;06;52;06
Dr. John Mayer
They play. One of the biggest sources of anxiety in doing so is that we move from one rule to the other without separation. So our rules.
00;06;52;11 - 00;06;59;25
Dr. John Mayer
Meld into each other and we become overwhelmed with anxiety. The biggest sinner here is your work.
00;06;59;25 - 00;07;12;03
Dr. John Mayer
Invading your personal life like a Viking, raiding by a party. It is vital to learn how to separate yourself from work. This can be accomplished using both very practical changes.
00;07;12;06 - 00;07;22;05
Dr. John Mayer
And with mental adjustments. Here are some practical tips for compartmentalization. If you're working from home, please try and make your.
00;07;22;05 - 00;07;29;28
Dr. John Mayer
Workspace separated from the rest of your living space. This doesn't have to be elaborate. I don't care if you live alone.
00;07;30;01 - 00;07;31;20
Dr. John Mayer
Don't set up your work from home.
00;07;31;20 - 00;07;34;22
Dr. John Mayer
Space on your kitchen table. For example.
00;07;34;24 - 00;07;46;13
Dr. John Mayer
While you make your dinner, you'll be glancing over at the 16,000 emails marked urgent from the Rainn Wilson in the next cubicle. Another tip.
00;07;46;15 - 00;07;52;13
Dr. John Mayer
Give Caesar to Caesar's. Oh, I suck at clichés in these old outages.
00;07;52;16 - 00;07;56;17
Dr. John Mayer
But it doesn't stop me from trying. When I was trying to be cute and.
00;07;56;17 - 00;07;58;02
Dr. John Mayer
Saying, here is that.
00;07;58;04 - 00;08;07;14
Dr. John Mayer
Be mindful of your work time spilling over into your home time, and cut off your workday at a reasonable time. You've given enough of your blood.
00;08;07;14 - 00;08;15;05
Dr. John Mayer
For the day. Now stop. I don't care what you do or how self-important.
00;08;15;05 - 00;08;20;12
Dr. John Mayer
You and your boss think you all are. Taking calls, answering emails.
00;08;20;12 - 00;08;21;14
Dr. John Mayer
And texts.
00;08;21;16 - 00;08;34;16
Dr. John Mayer
In your home time is just setting the timer on a ticking time bomb of anxiety. Hey there. That analogy kind of worked. A couple of examples may, a mom.
00;08;34;22 - 00;08;37;14
Dr. John Mayer
Teacher coach at a high school.
00;08;37;16 - 00;08;49;29
Dr. John Mayer
Loved all her rules individually, but was suffering burnout from being constantly pulled from all these rules as they converged on each other. What we worked on was her for her to.
00;08;50;00 - 00;08;57;01
Dr. John Mayer
Make better separation in these rules. We did this by several easy fixes.
00;08;57;04 - 00;09;05;17
Dr. John Mayer
First set of limits on phone calls from her players. Second, during the non-school days, we limited the time she checked.
00;09;05;17 - 00;09;17;18
Dr. John Mayer
Emails for school and coaching. Third, we set the priority of her family over her team's needs. Her anxiety was stuffed down dramatically.
00;09;17;21 - 00;09;21;01
Dr. John Mayer
Here's another example a mom working 14.
00;09;21;01 - 00;09;23;12
Dr. John Mayer
Days in retail. She would typically.
00;09;23;12 - 00;09;26;12
Dr. John Mayer
Rush home to make dinner. Why? Her husband, who.
00;09;26;12 - 00;09;34;05
Dr. John Mayer
Gets off of work three hours earlier can't do this astounds me. But that's an issue for a couples therapist.
00;09;34;08 - 00;09;37;28
Dr. John Mayer
I insisted on her taking her allotted breaks and lunch.
00;09;37;28 - 00;09;43;10
Dr. John Mayer
Throughout her workday. One of the most helpful techniques she started was to stop.
00;09;43;10 - 00;09;54;25
Dr. John Mayer
For a coffee right after work and sit in silence to put closure on her work day and stop that frantic rush home. Jabba the Hutt can wait to have.
00;09;54;25 - 00;10;10;23
Dr. John Mayer
His pie hole filled. In summary. Set up your life to make clear and consistent separations in your differing roles. Know something else that sets us up for anxiety. Expectations. I have personally.
00;10;10;23 - 00;10;17;01
Dr. John Mayer
Found it very helpful to lower I mean low to the ground and the down low. Low.
00;10;17;03 - 00;10;47;23
Dr. John Mayer
Lower my expectations of people and life in general. Now there's a difference between lowering your expectations and keeping your standards high. These are two very different things. You can have a high standard to set for people around you, but if you check your expectations at the door, you won't suffer big disappointments. Stop expecting people to live life and think like you.
00;10;47;25 - 00;10;52;27
Dr. John Mayer
Think about it and try it. By the way, this is a great tool for parents.
00;10;53;00 - 00;11;03;09
Dr. John Mayer
And by the way, number two, I'm thinking of doing a series on podcasts on parenting. One of my claims to fame watch for a couple of final.
00;11;03;09 - 00;11;10;13
Dr. John Mayer
Tips here to calm anxiety. Avoid the triggers that cause your anxiety.
00;11;10;15 - 00;11;12;27
Dr. John Mayer
I'm going to discuss avoidance in a later.
00;11;12;27 - 00;11;14;21
Dr. John Mayer
Podcast as it gets such a.
00;11;14;21 - 00;11;18;14
Dr. John Mayer
Bad rap in our world. Finally.
00;11;18;16 - 00;11;25;22
Dr. John Mayer
Don't do stupid stuff to make yourself anxious. Illegal drugs.
00;11;25;24 - 00;11;30;07
Dr. John Mayer
Excessive alcohol. Don't play video games all night and then go to.
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Dr. John Mayer
School or work on two hours of sleep. Looking for social media to solve your anxiety.
00;11;37;03 - 00;11;38;14
Dr. John Mayer
Or modeling your life.
00;11;38;14 - 00;11;43;02
Dr. John Mayer
After the TV. Reality stars like the crept decisions.
00;11;43;04 - 00;11;45;09
Dr. John Mayer
In the next section, I'm going to.
00;11;45;09 - 00;11;47;20
Dr. John Mayer
Discuss sleep and I'm very excited.
00;11;47;20 - 00;11;48;18
Dr. John Mayer
About all I can help.
00;11;48;21 - 00;11;50;18
Dr. John Mayer
You with here. Great stuff.
00;11;50;21 - 00;11;58;05
Dr. John Mayer
Please don't miss it.