Subscribe
Share
Share
Embed
What sets this podcast apart? We believe in the power of meaningful marketing—a holistic approach that prioritises authenticity, connection, and purpose, whilst still turning a profit.
Chantal Gerardy is an International Award Winning Marketing Strategist who empowers purpose-led businesses to revolutionise their online marketing approach and create a brand that resonates deeply with their online audience. If you're tired of cookie-cutter marketing advice, and seek strategies that truly make a difference, this podcast is for you.
If you are a business owner feeling overwhelmed, stressed, or struggling to cut through the noise online? We've got your back!
Our podcast is tailored for entrepreneurs hungry for clarity, confidence, and tangible results in their online marketing. Our podcast isn't just about boosting sales; it's about creating an efficient marketing machine that reflects your values, passion and purpose. Whether you're stuck or looking to maximise your marketing, we're here to guide you every step of the way.
Our episodes dive deep into practical skills, customer-generating strategies, and streamlined systems to help you thrive without relying on paid ads. From mastering social media, creating content that converts, ranking on google, getting your website to work, lead list building and email marketing, each episode is packed with tips and techniques to help you thrive online.
Join me each week as we explore management and monetisation online marketing strategies designed to reduce your time online while increasing your impact. With our guidance, you'll align your business and marketing team more closely, ensuring every effort moves you towards growth. From overcoming challenges to seizing opportunities, each episode is packed with actionable advice to help you thrive in the world of online marketing and effective management.
Are you ready to transform your online marketing, build a business that you enjoy, and leave a lasting impression?
Tune in to the Meaningful Marketing Podcast and unlock the secret sauce to marketing success.
📈 More from Meaningful Marketing
📥 Download our FREE Marketing Guide
🎧 Catch all episodes
👉 themeaningfulmarketingpodcast.com
🌐 Learn more
👉 onlinebusinessmarketing.com.au
This podcast is brought to you by PodPro Australia,
Social media, Google, email, marketing systems, website traffic, and the endless content creation that comes with marketing. It's overwhelming, right? Say goodbye to endless stress and hello to clarity with the Meaningful Marketing podcast. In this podcast, I will share with you fast and free practical methods to help you manage, monetize, and market your business, all infused with a healthy dose of motivation.
Let's do this.
Hello, and welcome to another episode of the Meaningful Marketing Podcast. I'm your host, Chantal Gerardy, and today I've got Andrew Small here, who is the host of the Over forties Dating Podcast, real and Unfolded. Welcome, Andrew.
Thank you.
It is super excited to have him here today because you guys are all gonna hear something a little bit different.
And that is two South Africans talking, um, because both of us happen to be from Durban, my hometown in South Africa. Woo-hoo. So you're getting extra bonus today. Um, it is awesome to have you here today. And today we're gonna be talking about how online dating is an absolute effing nightmare. All right.
For me. Yep. So time wasting, soul, sapping, exhausting. Um, just mind numbingly. Absolute nightmare. So why on earth have you decided that even though you have a job job, which we'll talk about just now mm-hmm. Just now, south African Sea just now.
Yep.
Um, why you have decided to put together this podcast?
Well, I've been dating for the last four years and.
Look, it's been a nightmare. I've met some nice people through it. Hear some, hear some awesome stories, heard some tragic stories, some real bad ones, and I just thought, why not just bring, you know, uh, something that's fun, relatable, out there, resourceful. Help people. Give them some hope, I suppose. Yeah.
Hope guidelines.
Yep.
Yep.
Warnings. That's it. Awesome. So, um, tell me a little bit about like your own personal story, like little boy Andrew Small.
So, I've been in Australia 38 years, spent 27 in Sydney, 10 on the Gold Coast, and I separated five years ago. Got three amazing kids. And divorced five, four years ago, sorry. And also did the whole, uh, separation thing, 50 50 custody.
That worked well for us. Um, kids are growing up really well as well. They've, they're resilient in, in themselves. And for me, it's just, um, yeah, just out there doing my thing. I'm, I'm successful in my own right. I've got a good life, good lifestyle. Yeah. That's me.
Excellent. That's so good to hear. Um, so with regards to like jumping on the online dating apps, when you first got divorced, like what was your intention?
Did you have this like feeling that you were going to jump on the apps, you were gonna meet all these hot women, um, you'd be dating all these hot women and you have all these amazing dinners out, um, and you'd find the wine and you'd live happily ever after. Was that your, like, overall intention when you started on the, on the apps?
The intention was to find someone, right? It was a fricking nightmare. So the first woman I actually dated, I went on a date with, was a widow and her ex-husband was from South Africa, from Durban as well, and she was on the scene for about, I think four or five years. And we got on really, really well. Still good friends today.
So to answer your question, it was very scary at first because I'd never been on a dating app. Um, I was in a 15 year marriage and it was a whole new thing for me. I developed a new name called Andy, and I just thought maybe that'll hide me in case someone sees me. But you know, the rest, you, you, you just become used to it and you put yourself out there.
Yep.
So what were some of the learnings when you set up your app initially? Like when you set up your app, what were some of your thoughts and some of the pictures that you put up? Was it like the picture of you holding a fish? Um,
no. No, no. I don't fish luckily, and I, I believe women don't like those fish pics, so I just put photos that were me.
Nice, clean. Probably one at the gym. One, I'm very active. I've got a very active lifestyle, so there was a cycling photo one playing golf. I just put something that people could see the real personality in me, I suppose. Yeah.
And so being on the apps then and looking at pictures of women on the apps, um, were you excited by all the amazing photos and women that came up on your feed?
Because for me, I often, when I've got a male who's on the apps, I'm like, quick, show me your feed. I wanna see like what my competition is like. Competition like in doing a competitor's analysis is super important. And I'm like, show me your app. I wanna see what's on there. And when I looked at this, I went.
Oh my gosh. Like this is how my, like my profile looks compared to everyone else. Yeah, it was significantly different. So what are some of your thoughts on, uh, the ladies' profiles that you saw?
Well, I initially thought that a lot of women didn't look like the apex. There were a lot of filtered photos, but you get used to it and I just.
Just found it. You, you had to sort of go through these dates and filter them out and, yeah. So, but the, the attention was great in, in the beginning. I think when I joined Tinder it was just overwhelming. Like, I was just so anxious. I was like, wow. 'cause they got algorithms in there that. Basically feed you all these women and they're all messaging you and you're just going, shit, shit.
You love the attention and that's how you get sucked into it.
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I suppose it's, uh, it's a case of you've gotta qualify and disqualify the right people, right? That's right. Yeah. So how would you go about then qualifying and disqualifying the right people on the apps?
Well,
some of your methods.
Yeah. Yeah. I mean,
look, I'd never date anyone under 45. I'm 54. I wouldn't date anyone, probably over 57. There are some people that really look after themselves out there. Very few I'd say, but I just look at, you know, the interest, you know, whether they're active or not. I don't expect a gym junkie, but I just wanna meet someone that you can, you know, you can sort of see yourself with them.
Yeah.
Yeah, I think, um, it's, it comes down to effective communication and with these online apps, we are looking at effective communication through visuals, images, as well as effective communication through the way that they actually communicate the setup of their profile, but then also how they communicate with you.
Really, I think communication's so important right now because if you're a poor communicator, um, and you don't actually know how to express yourself and don't understand who you are and what your fundamental values are, you're gonna find it very hard to connect with someone. Right.
Well, I did have the difficulty because I'm not a texter.
Look, I tell people straight up. If you're gonna be texting me for days, you're not gonna get the real me because I can't sit there with one finger trying to type this and that. And yeah, I just go, yes, no, whatever. And some women don't like it. They make that choice to cut ties 'cause they dunno the real me.
So I encourage people to try, Hey, let's have a phone conversation, see if we vibe and take it from there. And you can tell a lot when you speak to someone on the phone. You can go, wow, this person sounds really nice. They look really nice. Let's take the next step. So,
yeah, I think for me, when, um, when online dating I was, I was exactly the same.
I was like, text for a bit and then get them onto the phone call as soon as possible. Yeah. So don't waste any more of my time and my energy. And then from getting them onto the phone, it was like then meeting up with them and I kind of thought I had it all figured out. I thought, like when I, when I was on the phone and they talk to me, I go, they sound great, you know?
One time I spoke to a guy for about a whole week, every single day for about an hour or two. I was like, yep, can't wait to meet this guy. That's it. Like, sounds amazing. Seemed like ticked all the boxes, met them in person and from the time I met them I just went, ah, nah,
dangerous. Definitely. This is just
not on.
So I kind of thought I had a theory there for a while, but I, but I proved my theory to not be, not be correct.
Yeah. Look, I've, I've been there as well and that's why I try to say to people just. Text, phone call and meet up as soon as you can because if you're gonna be talking for days, I think emotions also grow, you know, on the phone as well.
And I think you disappoint yourself if that person's not who you think they might be in person. Energy might not be there.
Yeah. And it's definitely, it's definitely a coffee first.
Yep. Yep. I totally agree. Yep. Yep. Coffee
or an activity. I wanna see how they function. Yep. At ax throwing. Um, awesome. So you've decided now to do this over forties dating podcast.
Um, mostly because you said that you wanted, uh, that people actually. Wanted to tell their stories, their dating stories, and it was in the hopes of, you know, motivating, inspiring, uh, people who are online dating by hearing what's going on and just having those, you know, those real and unfiltered conversa conversations.
Yep. So you mentioned that, um. You've, you've heard some really common things, you know, that happen in the online dating space. Uh, let's talk me through some of those things.
Well, catfishing, I think everyone, everyone knows catfishing, right? You know, you look at these photos and some of them are filtered.
Some of them are with ai. Now it's. More dangerous, I suppose. And you pull up this thing in your head, oh my god, you know, is that what she looks like? And, and then you get there and it's just a totally different person, you know? And all the phone cameras these days as well got this, um, things built into it.
And you can actually sit next to someone, take a photo and you look amazing, and then you look next to them and you like, go, that's not you. You know? So, yeah. So, uh. Catfishing is one ghosting I've heard of, you know, a lot of people. Well, it, it is difficult and I think now ghosting has become acceptable in society because no one wants to let anyone down.
And I think the other one is, um, people have been stood up and it's still happening up till today. Like, I, I dunno why guys do that to women just have, you know, the respect to say, oh, you know, look, let's have a quick coffee or it's not gonna work out and, and walk away. But to actually. For someone to make an effort to turn up for a date and not you not turn up.
I think that's the most horrible thing you can do.
Yeah, I agree. That's not
cool
at
all.
Um, and I think it is. I think we live in a world right now, like an instant world, and I think we live in a world that with social media, it's so easy just to block people or just to ghost people. Yep. That you don't have to have those difficult conversations.
So you can simply just, you know, stop talking to someone if you start to get the ick right. Yes. Yes. Um, you just, you just stop talking to them. That's it. Rather than being polite and being honest and upfront about Yeah. You know how that is. Um, which is a bit sad. It is. Look, I'm
guilty of it as well, you know, I try not to do it, but sometimes it does get outta hand and you gotta do what you gotta do.
Yeah, yeah.
Well I was gonna say, be the change you wanna see, but No, I completely get that. Especially if somebody is, you know. Presenting one persona.
Yep.
Presenting one persona and then suddenly demonstrating another persona. Mm-hmm. Um, that makes it exceptionally hard, where, um, I think people can also just put on this persona and put on this.
How they wish to be perceived or how they wanna be perceived. Mm-hmm. But really, when it comes down to the deeper meaningful, they're not like that at all. Yep. Um, and I think love bombing is one of that for me that I would see, especially with some of my friends as well, is where a warning sign would just be a guy is just absolutely fully onto you, into you.
Whatever, and you're just going, this is not like, this is not an emotionally intelligent person. Something here is not right. I know. I'm good looking and I'm amazing and, and I deserve this, but this is way too fast. Too soon. Yeah.
Yeah. I mean, look, I, I. Did get caught in love bombing in the early years. You know, like, uh, definitely it's so easy if you, if you do like someone and you feel, wow, this person could be my person.
It's so easy to get sucked into it. A hundred percent. Yeah. Sucked in.
Um, so you've spoken about, um, your podcast and what are some of the episodes or the conversations or the type of people or guests that you may have on your podcast?
So we are planning to have psychologists, uh, dating consultants, dating coaches, life people who, you know, help people with their lifestyle.
Um, yeah, you know, doctors, but also just everyday people that'll come in there and, and give some value. I think about dear stories, which I think most of the viewers will find relatable, that they'll go, oh wow. You know, I've been through that and. I think giving the male and the female perception as well could get a good story out there.
Definitely.
Yeah. Excellent. Um, awesome. So yeah, so a whole bunch of guests sharing their story, but at the end of the day, um, you know, this is a passion project for you and I love people having passion projects, and I love purpose led people doing, you know, purposeful things. But at the end of the day, it has to make you money.
So my question is, how's it gonna make you money?
Well, subscribers, affiliate links and sponsors, you know? Mm-hmm. It's such a niche market that we know we will attract the sponsors. There's a lot of sponsors that are struggling out there, I believe, with speed dating, uh, you know, Facebook events. So I think this will be a great market for them.
If we get, you know, quite a great viewership, they can actually come in advertising a direct market.
So since you mentioned single events, talk to me a little bit about your experience with single events.
Ooh, dear. I, I, I've been to quite a few. You know, look, I, I've been speed dating, I've been to dinners and I've been to the Facebook group events, and I think they're all pretty much the same.
I mean, you, you go to speed dating and you're expecting, okay, there's gonna be at least a few women, but sometimes it, it doesn't work. Always work out that way. So you, you, you know, you gotta turn up. More importantly, I think, and some look, like I said, I've met some great friends through it and. But they're pretty much the same.
I think a little bit like dating apps as well, where it just, I don't know. It's just, I don't know. The right people aren't turning up. I dunno if they've been disappointed at a previous event. I dunno what it is. But it's just, yeah, you, I've been there. I've done that. Yeah.
Well, I'm gonna share one of my tips for dating, uh, and getting off the dating apps, and that was, I decided to just join Meetup groups.
Yep. And it was like, I'm into cycling, I'm into hiking, I've got a camper van. So I joined a solo camping group, and I just joined all these different groups and met amazing people because I felt like I was putting myself. In the right place where those people who had similar interests to me were already were.
Yeah. Um, and I found that that was easier for me. So that's my tip for everyone out there. Good. Um, so what happens now, um, you can, you launch this podcast, uh, you've got all these guests coming on, you've got sponsorships, you've got affiliates, um, and you experimenting online so that you can get good old feedback for the audience, and now suddenly you meet your dream person.
Um, how are you gonna, um, navigate that?
Well, I look. Just be honest with her. Whoever she is, whoever could be, and I, the, the thing for me is, look, I'm passionate about it. It's not so much. It's gotta be the life I'm living. It's also the life I've led. And it's a journey. It's been a journey for me. There's millions that have done it.
There's millions that are doing it, and there's millions that will still have to go through it. So I think if I can provide a podcast that's great value, like I said, relatable experiences and give people hope, that's the aim of it.
Yeah. What a great, what a great way to, to put that. Yeah. Um, and I think, yeah, if you get the right, the right person in your relationship anyway, they're gonna be so supportive of whatever it is that you're doing anyway, so it's so good.
Awesome. So as we come to the end of this podcast, um, because it's the Meaningful marketing podcast. What do you, what tips do you think that you could give our audience right now that if they were gonna have a meaningful experience mm-hmm. In online dating, based on your experience and all the people that you've dated and spoken to and the shitty events, shitty dates you've had, and the people you've had to run away from.
Tell me what are some meaningful ways or meaningful tips that you can give those people right now that are online dating?
Well, the one thing I'll start off with is on the market, in the market. Enjoy the moment. So what it means is on the market, meaning you are emotionally and physically available in the market, is basically getting out there, going to events, um, you know, meeting new people.
It might not even be a singles group. You could just go and learn how to kayak or do a tour, something like that and enjoy. The moment is, don't have an expectation, but more importantly, safe. Even if you're going for a coffee. A lot of us get it in our head. Is this gonna be the person? What's she gonna be like?
Is she gonna look like her pitchers, you know, uh, are we going to get on? Is there gonna be energy? Just don't have an expectation, but go there. Enjoy the coffee. You're getting out of the house, you're going into a new coffee shop, and you'll find that, you know, it'll be a great experience because I've been through it.
Like at one stage I was doing like, I think 20 to 30 coffees a month, and it was costing me a lot of money when I paid 10 bucks each. And I think I, I spent like 300 bucks and I said, this is not right, because none of those coffee dates made it to the second date. And that's where I learned from my psychologist of.
On the market. In the market. Enjoy the moment and you'll just find you'll, you'll have a different perception of life. You'll, you'll meet greater people. But I think, yeah, you, you've gotta also just. I suppose narrow the feel down, I suppose for me, I was just like, okay, she looks nice. I'll go out with her.
She might be my person. I, I dunno. So, so my tip is just enjoy the moment, you know, you, you dunno who you're gonna meet, where you're gonna meet them. Don't build up this expectation in your head. Just go with it. Run with it, and you'll meet some amazing people out there. And I think you'll meet the one eventually.
So how can people connect with you, um, and find your podcast?
So we're on Insta, Facebook, TikTok, all the social media channels. There's a face, uh, a YouTube channel as well. I think that's been worked on at the moment. And yeah, there'll be a website as well, which, which will be up and running by next week.
So, um, yeah, it's everywhere online. You could find us through over forties Dating podcast Real and Unfiltered.
Excellent. Yeah. Well, thank you so much for joining us, Andrew, and we wish you the greatest success with your new podcast. Um, this is Chantelle Ardi from The Meaningful Marketing Podcast, and I look forward to seeing you in our next show.
Thanks for listening in. Meaningful Marketing is all about you making your marketing meaningful. If you've enjoyed today's episode, please hit that subscribe button, but subscribing means that you won't miss out on future episodes, all about marketing and motivation. Stay inspired, stay focused, and make your marketing meaningful.