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Three guys, zero qualifications, one hour a week. Gym, food, fitness and regret, hosted by Alexander Walton, Mike Appy and Michael Joseph. Take notes. Then do the opposite. On X: @thealexwalton, @DigitalFringed1, @InNomeniDei.
This is going to be some bad advice. Recording in progress. Let's see about this. Dolphins raping. So Mike has just informed me that dolphins rape. male bottom those dolphins display aggressive sexual behaviors including coordinated group harassment or forcing copulation within their pods towards other species wildly while widely viewed through an anthropomorphic lens as a rape here's a quote all right here's i got two things to say here one apparently dolphins are one of the only animals that have sex for pleasure yes correct I think there's one more the bonobo monkey something like that yeah but second and most importantly isn't all animal sex rape because you can't get consent no no I don't think I mean the the female like lets you fucking you know they pick you like in the bird species they pick like the brightest feathers or whatever you can rate you can fucking you can fuck me like it depends like it depends on the speech but i think they all the female is usually the the aggressor in that and like they pick the male usually in most in most animal kingdoms i think i'm almost positive on that i don't think it's rape well i mean the in 2026 even i'm telling you bro but i mean in 2026 I don't know if you saw that a few years back in the college campuses.
They were telling people at university to carry around a consent card. Yeah. You remember? Yeah, I vaguely remember that. Imagine being a dude in college trying to get laid, and then you have to pull out a card and have her sign it, and you sign it before you guys get down as if that's going to work. Because you're going to fucking claim rape and try to sue. Supposedly. Yeah. You need written consent, or it's rape. Absurd. So all animals are rapists. I mean, I guess in that theory, but yeah, but these motherfucking dolphins, they're like coordinated fucking gang raping fucking female dolphins. So they resemble a certain race is what you telling me Fair We don have to say who it is Yeah Got some lean sticks here.
Oh, hell yeah. My subscription finally came in. They were backordered for a little bit because they had an issue with the maker or something like that. But, yeah, they're back in stock, so fantastic. I still haven't tried them. Fucking fantastic. Do you ever have, like, archers or chomps or anything like that? I tried archers before. It's like dog food when you compare it to this. Okay. Yeah, they're very dry. These are fucking moist. Very moist. I've heard nothing but amazing things. Yeah. [bleep] Michael J.T. Oh, I forgot. You're at a different setup today. What is the lighting like? You're going to probably look, sound like shit. Do I look good? You look like you're in heaven, which is not fitting. I am. You should be fired in the background.
I am blessing you with my presence. Welcome to the show. I'm just speaking like Kath's sermon. Yeah, you're fucking sermon. It's all fucking lagging. Really? All right, hold up. Leave it up to Mike to fuck everything up as usual. It's unbelievable. it's like it's un-fucking-believable are you supposed to be like always perfect when you're like a military vet aren't you supposed to have that shit down pat you know be ready for everything I'm a psycho and like I set all my shit up like we had we said like 3.30 I had my shit done at 2.45 like set up ready to go check the cameras did all that stuff so I'm like alright now I can go upstairs chill till the fucking show otherwise it would bother the fuck out of me I mean that makes sense to me I'll check it at 3.29 I like that it's is his face frozen for you too it probably is the fucking dickhead do you see it no I mean on your side he's got a retarded smile and Chinese eyes let's just continually roast and he just looks like he's loving it fucking dickhead I heard he's been walking the track actually trying to pick up some extra dollars on the strip.
Yeah. Putting on his heels Ah fuck and then his face went away Damn it We could have just roasted him with him smiling in agreement he is a disaster oh my let me tell you something i really wish i could fucking if it's like somehow convenient that like i'm on vacation or i'm off like for a couple days i'm so going to the trial like i'm not fucking kidding how far away is he from you again um i would say if Myrtle Beach is like nine and a half I could probably get there in like seven and a half hours maybe. You would drive it? I would love to just be there and see that. Because I'm sure it's going to be a fucking shit show. I mean I would like to see it too. Yeah. I mean you read those shit? Yes.
Yeah. Unbelievable. And I can see it. I'm like this makes sense. Are you talking about the ones where he said they asked him have you this is what you said on this thing. Yes, and then you see the responses, and you're like, this makes sense. Like, this is why he was saying those things. Well, yeah, yeah. Yeah. My focus is looking – Yeah, a little blurry. There we go, yeah. Dude, when I was reading that first one he sent us, I could so see him saying it. Yes. I could hear it in his voice. Yes, 100%. That is absolutely him. Like, I don't need to know the trial results to know that you absolutely said those things. Yes, 100%.
Absolutely hysterical. By the way, this is not real, so the court cannot use this. We're just kidding. Also, I don't know. We can talk about maybe – I don't know if – I actually don't know enough about the law. But in theory, we might be able to talk about what he's not allowed to talk about on the other side. Because I don't know. I assume you talked to him on the space based on the text because I talked to him earlier in that same day. Yeah. And he's got all this stuff that he's not allowed to present supposedly. It's weird. Yeah. it's so corrupt yes it is so what else man what's going on I was thinking about speaking of Michael on the topic we're going to sponsor him Genesis is going to sponsor him to get him out to Texas Takeover really?
yeah we're going to get him out there that's awesome because it would be cool for him to be there with you, for you guys to meet with Brandon in agreed and for you to fucking be there you fucking dickhead I know what do you know I know that I a dickhead no you you going I know when your wedding is You have a day to get there We see No, it's not a we'll see. You're fucking going. We'll see.
But we're going to figure out. Oh, here he is, dickhead, trying to join the room. Anyway, we're going to figure out a way. Get him there, get his ticket, get his flights. Good. Yep. You got a week. You got like 11 days. I know, right? Isn't it September 1st? September 4th, I think they said. Just to get the ticket, right? No. It's September 4th. It might be the 1st for the tickets, but it's the 4th to get the discounted rates for the room. Oh, okay. Well, yeah. All right. Fair enough. Yeah. Is it better now? Yeah, that's better. Yeah, better. I mean, you're not as bright, but yeah.
Yeah. You fucking retards. What did you have to do with the Wi-Fi? I had to actually use Wi-Fi. You had to buy it for once. I'm tapping into the Wi-Fi gods right now as we speak. First time here. Were you not using Wi-Fi before? No, I was using my hotspot. That's what I do. Why? That's just what I'm used to. God, you're a disaster. I know.
I hate that you do that. Oh, it's terrible. Are you drinking a white monster? Yeah. You have a fucking problem, dude. I wanted to review it, but I was like, I'm doing the show. Fuck it. This is fucking delicious, dude. Oh, my God, dude. Absolutely fucking delicious. So I'm going to do a review on this, obviously, again, because I got to make a video on it. But I'm going to tell you right now, this is like an 8.4, bro. This is fucking delicious. I've heard through the grapevines of the court records that Michael also has a – 8.4 white monster.
Boom. Roasted. Boom. Not boom. Anti-roast. Boom. Complimented. I've all gone late, and now I'm just getting hit with all sorts of crazy shit. Oh, my God. That's fucking nuts. Mike, you have a terrible take. It's fucking good, man. It's dog shit. It tastes like it's seltzered water that's artificially flavored. I can't think of- I mean, there's nothing to rave about. No, it's delicious. It's kind of like a tropical taste to it. No. Very refreshing. It's kind of like white gummy bears, I feel like. Yeah, it kind of tastes a little bit like that. That's what I thought it was supposed to be. But I don't taste anything, really. It's wonderful. I like it. How's your sense of smell? My smell? Yeah. I think it's fine. Mine's terrible.
I mean, I don't know. Like, how do you test your fucking smell? Like, if I smell shit, I know I'm smelling shit. I'm rated at the VA for, like, sense of smell issues. I don't know what exactly it's called. So your palate cannot be trusted at all? No, no. See, here's the thing. You eat ass, Mike. I don't have, like, a nose that'll pick up everything right away, but when I smell something, like, I get close to it and I smell it, like, it's intense. It's just, I don't, I can't generally smell that well. Therefore, that's the, I mean, smell and taste kind of go hand in hand. Yeah, yeah, I know. Yeah, so you're a disaster. All your takes are useless now.
Goddamn. Oh, man. So, how about all the beef on the timeline today, huh? Bro, it's fucking wild. I don't think we should talk too much about it, but. Yeah. Very wild. Yeah. Wild stuff. It's fucking nuts. Yeah. I was just looking at some shit before I logged on here. I got to read this to you because it's so crazy what this guy said to me. As far as fitness shit goes.
He said, unpopular opinion, most people should not be doing heavy squats or deadlifts after 35 years old. Risk not worth the reward. Okay, did you click on his thing? Is he from Nigeria? No, no, no. This is a guy I talked to. He's in San Francisco, right? So I think he's about 40. Even worse. A lot of people tweet shit like this. So he's gay. It's bait. Yeah, probably. I was like, okay, let me just ask, like, define heavy. What do you mean by heavy? And then he goes and really digs himself in a hole here. Two-plate squat, three-plate deadlift, but I would suggest doing neither. Feels much safer doing leg press, hack squats, back extension, hip hinges. I'm not trying to get injured, especially when you consider neither of these exercises really improve someone's physique.
Bro. Listen I don have the certification in fucking fitness and that stuff but I could tell you from experience anytime I had back problems back tightness or sciatica or something like that when I lift fucking heavy, it fucking works. When I was, I had lower back pain going into my fucking leg day when I was doing heavy RDLs, and after I did that, those three sets, gone. If you're doing shit right with the right form, you're not going to get hurt. Well, principally, and I'll just, I'll lay out my response. I was like, as a guy who does this for a living, everything you're saying is ass backwards. I was like, I have to disagree on basically every point. I was like, there's, what the fuck are we saying right now?
Like, barbell squats and deadlifts aren't just lifting heavy for no reason. Like, they create higher systemic mechanical tension and force you to control load through space with your entire body. That is fundamentally different from a machine that stabilizes 40 to 70% of the work for you. So going to the fucking arbitrary two plate squat, three plate deadlift, like that's not some elite standard and plenty of guys weigh like 225 fucking pounds. So they're just squatting their body weight. Like, why are we picking on 225? It doesn't make any sense. You can progress a squat indefinitely if you train for years. But machines in general, and this is just like, I'm not shitting on anything. They have their fucking use. Hypertrophy, isolation, injuries, they're tools. But defaulting to them while dismissing the barbell entirely is backwards if the goal includes real world strength, resilience, functionality, or longevity.
Most of life doesn't happen on a guided track on a controlled plane, right? Like, we need to be able to move our body through space. And so the idea that squats and deadlifts don't improve physique is entirely false as well. Like, they build the legs, glutes, back, overall density in a way machines rarely match when programmed properly. Different tools for different goals out there, but treating the compounds as optional or unsafe by default is entirely ignorant view to take by basically every metric, be it physique, safety, functionality, hypertrophy, strength, mobility, stability, explosiveness, longevity. Like, you're just super wrong. You don't know how to use the tools. That's it. Did he respond?
Not yet. So I tell people I like I don give a fuck what your program is I can program for you perfectly If you don know how to drive and I give you the keys to a Rolls Royce what good is it going to do Like, you just don't know how to use the tools. And people in here who obviously aren't, he's not even in fitness and just spewing their opinions. It's like, damn, where do you come up with this shit?
Bait. I thought it was a Nigerian account. No, no, this is a good old white American. Yeah. What are you eating? Lean sticks. Nice. I have not had one. I don't fuck with jerky. Oh, I guess I'm going to have to send you something else now, you fucking piece of shit. Yeah, what is the lore behind this, by the way? This energy drink thing? What do you mean? I just saw in the chat something about the energy drinks. Well, he just sent me a bunch of shit, and I'm drinking them, too. Actually, I should have brought them with me to the beach, but I had one before the gym. There's no lore. Or it's just when I find something awesome, a lot of people, some people agree, the best people agree because I have a palate like no other.
Some people just can't get on my level. Most people just can't be on my level. So when I find something fantastic, I send it to Michael, and if he doesn't like it, it's even better. And he has to drink it and eat it, so it doesn't matter. I'm not eating a built puff bar, like, ever again. I haven't had one in weeks now. I had a box I bought, and then he sent me a box, like, the same day. I didn't even know. So I had, like, 60 built puff bars that I had to fucking eat. I'm done. And then he sends me all the energy drinks, and now I gotta drink these. And they're not bad. They're not bad, but. They're good, man. I would never, like, go. I still, like, wouldn't go to the store and get this myself. Like, I'm always just gonna go for the Red Bull. I haven't had something that's better than that. And sugar-free is, you're not gonna do it.
I got news for you, bro. I think I'm developing a serious addiction very quickly. To what? To energy drinks? To energy drinks. Weren't you, you know, correct me, because I know you weren't like a coffee guy. Correct. But weren't you already on a bunch of energy drinks? Isn't that how you roll? Nope. No, that's not your thing? Nope. My first energy drink in years and years and years was the Yappers. That's an energy, I didn't even realize they had caffeine. It's like 90 milligrams of caffeine. Oh, that's what I had to do. Okay. Yeah, I gotta get one of those, dude. Yeah, if that has caffeine, that sounds like it's banging. Yeah. And cherry lime sounds pretty fucking good. I like that combo. It is good. It's delicious.
Yeah. And he just came out with an orange flavor too Not a fan of orange Why do people do orange I don know I like orange Yeah You like the artificial orange It depends man You can fuck it up for sure Yeah. I like fresh squeezed orange juice, but not the artificial one. It's hard to mimic. Yeah, like I can't drink like a Florida's Natural. That shit's fucking gross to me. No, bro. Did you see a picture I posted where I ate this morning? I ate at that place that had that ridiculous photo. Yeah, the waffle. I didn't get a waffle, I got pancakes. It was a plain breakfast, but they gave me orange juice in one of those, like, German boot glasses. It was huge. And it was fresh squeezed, and it cost me, like, $12. I don't even care about this conversation anymore. Why are you such a fucking asshole? Like, honestly.
Like, like, not only did you just choose pancakes over waffles, which is so ridiculous, because waffles are superior in every way, but you just got plain pancakes. You probably just put Butter and a little bit of syrup on it like a jerk-off. I didn't have any syrup on it. This man. This man. You, seriously, you fucking hate yourself. You really are a fucking asshole. Bro, I just needed to get that shit in me quickly. The syrup probably would have been a nice thing to get it down quicker. I love maple syrup, but I was just like, fuck it. We're just going in. No, no, no. You deserve to be in court. Yeah, you do. Like, that waffle. Like, bro, I love going out to breakfast to, like, those places that have, like, fucking Fruity Pebble fucking waffles stacked with ice cream and syrup and all kinds of crazy shit. I will fuck that up, man. I love that shit.
That's terrible. You're like, just give me a plain waffle with nothing on it. Plain pancakes with nothing on it. Fucking terrible, dude. Oh, fuck. This is like childhood trauma, like coming to adulthood. Like, I, I, my life sucks. My life sucked. So now I'm just going to treat myself like a piece of shit and I'm just going to eat boring things because I suck. Mike, did he say that the reason was I was in a rush? Yes, he did. So he wanted to eat dry pancakes instead of fucking soaking them in syrup, which would be easier to get down. But here's the thing is, it's a busy restaurant, and I'm looking at the waitresses walking around, and I'm like, I'm not going to waste my time. No, no. Talking to them, waiting for the fucking syrup, all that shit.
I'm just going to go. No, no, no. No, no. How long does it take you to put syrup on a pancake? No, how long does it take them to come to my table, go get the syrup, bring it back to me? I'm going to be done with the pancake. What kind of place is this? The syrup should have been on the table already. No, no. It wasn't. It wasn't. Yeah. Where'd you go? Waffle House, you piece of shit? Actually, it was called National House of Pancakes in Myrtle Beach.
I've not been there, actually. They're like TikTok famous or some shit. That's their claim to fame. I didn't know that walking in. I mean, that fucking waffle looked awesome. I'm sure it's good. Next time I'm down there, I'm gonna definitely go there. Well, the orange juice, you saw that and that was fresh squeezed. I mean, it was insane. It was great. It was a huge amount. There's another place I went to, man. I think you know what it's... There might be a place by you, too. I forget what the fuck it's called. I just ate at the pier. That wasn't bad at all. Actually, I had a great lunch over there. You were saying there was nothing here that would be good. I had They have, listen, they have decent food, but when I go out to eat, I'm looking for bouginess. I'm looking for, like, I want to drop $400 on a fucking dinner.
You want to feel like your ass is being eaten on a dinner. I want the chef's tasting menu. I want a seven-course meal. I want all kinds of crazy shit that I've never tried before. That's what I do when I go out to dinner. I don't want, like, fucking, I am going to get a chicken breast, like a jerk off. If you want to fund my dinners. No salt. That's fine. Let me get the chicken mayonnaise, but with no sauce, no salt. Just grill it and bring it. I'm in a rush, so spare the three seconds for salt, please. I need, like, salt has to happen. You can't not have salt. Alright, salt, salt, at least on there. Spare the salt, I'm in a rush.
Thank you. Oh, my God. Oh, man. That's too much. Terrible, dude. So how long are you there for? I'll be leaving tomorrow at some point. Oh, okay. You going to the beach there at all? It's fucking wild there, man. Are you like, have you been like at 508, you know that road? Are you on there at all? No, I haven't been to 508. Okay. Because the fucking lights, man. They're 10 minutes long. Maybe I have coming in. I don't know. Let me look at the roads. The fucking traffic, the lights. It's a nice, especially it's summertime. It's got to be horrible driving there. So we got in last night. Like nobody arrives to the beach in the evening. So it was fine driving in. Yeah. And it's a Sunday. So it's like kind of the day people weave.
Yeah. Sunday down there is wild. Everything is closed. Yeah. Like everything. I was walking around. I walked six miles this morning, and I was like, I'm like one of the only people out here. Like, what the fuck's going on? Dude, it's fucked up. We were pissed off because we were there, I think, in the spring, and we were like, yeah, let's get fucking Krispy Kremes fucking on Sunday. We got there, and it was like 7 in the morning. We drove there, and it closed Sunday. I'm like, bro, this fucking place sucks. Everything closes down. You can't even go to fucking the food store because they open at like fucking 12 o'clock on a Sunday. It's fucking, can't buy liquor, can't buy fucking donuts, can't buy fucking coffee. Everything is fucking closed. So if you got something to do, if you need something for Sunday, you have to pick it up on Saturday.
Fucking crazy. I'm gonna find a seafood place to eat. I want, like, crabs or something. Just head two hours down south and go to fucking Charleston, bro. Bro, I'm here now. I'm not leaving. You're gonna get a shitty meal. This is all for a meal. This is all for a meal. I need to drive two hours. Yeah, I would. Listen, there's a place called... I would need a fucking hotel at that point. There's a place called Zero at George. It is the best restaurant I've ever been to Ever in my life. In Charleston. In Charleston. He's the guy. He's a, I believe it's a Michelin star, but he's been on Beat Bobby Flay. He's one of the people that beat Bobby Flay. Oh, sick. On that show. Okay. And, bro, it's one of those things where there's basically, like, no menu, and they bring you, like, 12 courses, and you have no fucking idea what you're getting.
It's fucking crazy. I'm with it. I'm with it. It's amazing. Yeah, I got, I like Bobby Flay, and if he beat Bobby Flay, that's awesome. Because Bobby Flay's an arrogant son of a bitch. Yeah, I agree. Yes. I totally agree with that. I gotta start calling that piece of shit out, too. Yeah, I do want to see that cook off. Tell me what the Cernovich connection is. Hold on. Hold on. Very important that I was hoping that one of you would catch this, but especially you, Mike. But Michael said just a few moments ago that I'm heading down, I'm looking for seafood, and I want crabs. He did not say crab. He said I want crabs. And doesn't that check out? And why did you have to say it like that? Yeah, it's true. Nobody says that. No.
What are you talking about? No one says, like, I want crabs for dinner. No. What do you mean nobody says that? You're at the beach. What else do you say? You say crab. You say crab. No one says crab. Who says crab? Every single human on earth. Crab is what you say. And crabs mean something else, by the way. Yes. And that totally checks out. Yes. You want that. You guys are fucking drunken on drugs. No. No one says crab. What do you want for dinner tonight Crabs No one says that Yeah I want a bunch of fucking crabs I wanna go go and crack open a bunch of crabs No you just say crab Yeah Alex you are so right I want Alaskan crab legs. Not I want Alaskan crab's legs. Crabs is an STD. That's what you asked for. That's what you just asked for.
I swear you guys think you, like, are English teachers or something. This is unreal right now. Shut the fuck up. Hey, you said it, dude. Oh, okay. But I know Cernovich has the Birds of Prey pre-workout, which I was also sent. So, I don't know. He saw the review and followed me, which was fucking great. I think I should just delete my fucking Twitter. I don't think it's going to get better than this.
Well, do us all a favor. Yeah. No more food takes, please. Thank you. We're done. Okay, from the guy who can't fucking smell. You're forever banned from having a food take. Pancakes, no syrup, Michael. What an insult to say to somebody. Yeah, fucking guy who can't smell. Like, that's crazy. Oh, all right. So, Alex, are we doing Texas? What's happening with Texas? You're coming. Yeah, you're going to Texas. We're going to figure it out. We'll do this in the next few days. Oh, hold up here. Hell yeah. What the? Oh, Michael's fucked up again. What else? No, he's disrobing. I asked him in advance. Yeah, it'll fuck up again here, bud.
Are we fixed? No, we're not fixed. This fucking guy. I didn't want to see your ugly faces anyway. I just can't with this fucking guy, man. It's just, nothing can be normal. No, can't. What the fuck's going on here? Yeah. We devolve from a show to a podcast. We devolve, yeah. A podcast would be de-evolution there.
Anyways, what was the, where were we at? I don't know. It's simply not worth the risk of talking to Mike on the timeline anymore because my entire life has changed now. I have a lot of people coming after me sexually in the DMs. Yep. And also on the timeline as well. Yep. So. I'm fine if he deletes his account. You gotta just go with the flow, bro. You gotta be like, yep. Yeah. Send me money, pay for my dinner. Just, yeah. I mean, I just had a couple yesterday that fucking reached out. Somebody asked me in the DMs, hey, can I buy your book? When's it available? So I accepted the message and I was like, yeah, sure. He's like, well, can I also get a picture? I was like, what the fuck, bro? I'm not sending you a picture, bro.
Like, it's not happening. Would you send a picture without your face in it? I mean, everybody knows what I look like. I'm not anon or anything. Like, if you want a picture, just fucking take a picture of my fucking shit on Twitter. Yeah. So, I don't understand. He's like, I want a signed copy of your book, and can I get a custom picture? A custom picture? Is the custom picture you nude? I didn't ask. I didn't even respond, because once a picture... What are you assuming, then? Once a picture is involved, I'm done. I'm not sending pictures, because I don't know what these crazy lunatics are going to do with these fucking pictures, bro. Well, you make a good point. Yeah, I mean, when I first started, it was like, hey, can you make a video of Fort, it was a guy, I forget what the account was called.
It was called like Fort King, whatever. I don't understand. I'm lost. Lost in the sauce. Anyhow, I'm gonna have crabs tonight. Go ahead. Oh, crabs. You're gonna have crabs tonight, yeah. I'm gonna have crabs tonight. Cool. I can barely hear you. Turn up your mic. How about now, motherfucker? Better. Fucking better. You could always just press up on the volume on your computer. Mine's all the way up, because I'm not a jerk-off. But you do jerk off to men. I mean... Men jerk off to him, is what we just found out. Yeah, it's true. Go look at the fucking bookmarks on all my energy review things. It's wild.
Some of them have like 300 bookmarks from just an energy review video. What the fuck? I don't know. It's so weird. Fucking wild, yeah. Alright, I'm gonna fucking switch it up right now. In the middle of this show. Because I'm not sure. Remind me if you've answered this before. Because some of these I know Alex did answer. But if not, we're gonna run it. So we're gonna do our usual thing. Alex. Alex, if you could eat one dessert for the rest of your life, what would it be? Ooh. Uh.
I have, I would have to choose between, like, one of my mom's pies. She makes, she's like, went to baking school. She went to like a baking, like a, one of the fancy ones. You would know the name if I could remember it in England. Can you, can you at least tell me what kind of pie? Um, probably like a apple rhubarb or something like that. All right. Like an apple rhubarb crumble, maybe. She makes like a. All right, a crumble I can do. What a fucking weirdo. Alright, that's fine. Or one of like the French pastries. I love like those pastries. Oh yeah. See that I could fuck with. Yeah. If you can instantly master one skill, what would it be? I got a fucking long list, but maybe music. Really? Yeah. Are you any good at it at all?
Yeah, I mean, no. I'm terrible, but I did it for like 10 years. Every day when I was a kid, so I'm like, but I'm bad for For all that experience. Yeah, like, I love music, but I could never play a fucking instrument. Any. If I could do, like, if I could get really good at music, I think, because I was thinking about this every time you've asked it, and I was like, is it meditation? Because that's kind of an underrated one. Imagine, you know, for stress, for whatever presence. Writing, is it speaking? I was like, maybe music is like a language, and it's meditation. I love how you like always go the intellectual route when like most people like I want to fucking play an instrument so I can like step on stage and like fucking rock out in front of a fucking people and like fuck you know what I mean You like nah I want to do it for like fucking learning and fucking I don't, I wouldn't want to do it. Bro, I would not want to, I would not want to do it on stage. I did, I did hundreds of recitals when I was a kid.
Yeah. On the piano. Yeah. I hated it every time. Okay. I'm grateful for the skill now, so my parents had to force me to do it. I'm grateful for it now. Have you ever sung over a woman with your piano skills? Yeah. Of course. I'm going to tell you this right now. I think the baddest-ass instrument, especially in rock music, every time I hear it in a fucking song, I instantly love the song, is a violin, bro. I love the fucking violin. I wish I could play the violin. That shit's so badass in rock music, dude. I love it. I have no interest in being able to play an instrument, but I appreciate them. Yeah. Fair. Uh, Alex, one small thing that bothers the shit out of you.
Sweating by accident. I like that. I like that. Bothers me, too. Or mosquitoes. Oh, yeah, fuck mosquitoes. That's also a small thing. I had a huge sweating problem when I was in fucking high school. And I would just sweat profusely. My parents would go to, like, the pharmacy to get, like, I'm going to mix, like, special fucking deodorants for me, and I figured out over the course of my life, like, maybe, like, 20 years ago, that the only deodorant that works and works like a charm is secret deodorant, so that's what I use. I just, like, if I want to. Women's secret deodorant. Oh, it's, okay. Women's secret. That tracks, actually, yeah. It's the best. It's literally the best. That's correct. I want to sweat on purpose, not by accident.
Yeah. So, if it. If we're, you know, if it's an exercise, if we're going on a big walk, hike, whatever, you're hanky-panky, whatever it might be, on purpose, fine. I just hate it by accident. That's fair. Yeah. You're not going to answer this, but I'm going to ask it anyways. If you could anonymously destroy someone's life, whose would it be? I knew this was coming one day.
If I wanted to, look. Again, let me preface this for all the viewers out there. It does not mean murder. It could mean murder, but it doesn't mean murder. It could be A his life falls apart he gets divorced she takes all the money and he has nothing That ruining somebody life You didn have to add that in there Now murder is associated It was not even in there before you said that Well, you can clarify which one you want it to be.
If there were any people's lives who I wanted anonymously ruined, I would certainly not say it on a podcast that we expect to go. I can. Public and live. Well, we're gonna get back to you. Alright. But, I will say this. I can't really think of too many people whose name I know, who I don't know personally. Yeah. I'm not thinking about like public figures really. I am, who comes to mind for For me, and the reason why I won't say a name, is the people who have fucked with my loved ones in some sort of way. And there is a short list, and I won't say it. Yeah, fair enough. Because those people are still on the list, and I might do it one day. That's the... Not murder! That's the Ryan Howard thing from the office, making a list.
I have a list in my head of people who have fucked with my family, fucked with my loved ones, and done certain things. And in case I ever decide to make their life a little bit more difficult, there's no, this is all speculative. I would never say it online. This is the best I can give you. The last question you've answered, the die question, when and how you will die, we answered that in previous episodes. So now, Michael, I'll go to you. Dessert. One for the rest of your life. What do you choose? Chocolate chip cookies. Oh, you're fucking like my wife. Thank God, Mike, we're on the same page about that one. What? Chocolate chip cookie is the worst cookie. Dude, kill yourself. God. Terrible answer. If you could instantly master one skill, what would it be?
Real estate development. All right. You're going to make that money, huh? I mean, if you could be the guy that's developing the land and the buildings. Isn't that how Trump made his money? Exactly. You would be the guy with all the money and the power. Fair. One small thing that bothers the shit out of you. Ticks, adjacent to his mosquito answer. But a real thing would be people speaking to me as if I as incompetent as they are That was like the dispo stuff Yeah that was like almost exactly what he said I think Yeah you answered the death question
By the way, you said ticks. I have a funny story. Yeah. So, two summers ago, I took my dog for a walk without a leash in one of the parks close by. Very wooded area. So, went for a walk, brought her home. And Christine, my wife, was going up the stairs and she's like, who the fuck spilled poppy seeds all over the place? This is fucking weird. So, come to find out, and I'm not even lying, there is probably a couple hundred thousand, maybe even a million, little baby ticks. Ticks, she must have ran into a tick nest. I'm talking from the basement to the kids' bedrooms to our bedroom, all over everything were baby ticks everywhere. What did you do? There was blood splatters all over the floor from people just walking over the house.
What did you do? We had to get a fucking exterminator. Yeah, like what the fuck? I would have got the hell, I would have burned my house down. It was, it took days to get rid, bro, it was the most fucking craziest experience. Everybody was going nuts. It was so bad, dude. What the actual fuck? Little, the good thing is we found out the little baby ones, they don't carry like Lyme disease or anything like that, so that was good, but it was just, they were fucking everywhere. Dude, that's fucking nuts. It was so fucked up, man. That's crazy, bro. Yeah. That's one of the craziest things anybody's told me. It's fucking crazy, dude. Yeah. And the poor dog just had him all over, bro. Jeez. Their whole body was covered in baby ticks, dude.
Did you have to go to, like, a motel and get exterminated or something, or what? No, we didn't, man. We just fucking, we had the exterminator come that day, did what he did, and then we just kept everything, like, doors shut, fucking, and tried to fuck. It just, it took, like, days for them to finally, like, clear out. I mean, we were, we thought we were going to have to, like, bomb the house. Yerse. Yerse. Yerse. Yerse. Good answer.
That's all my questions for the day. Well, now you got to answer the same question. Okay. You said you had one. If I could only eat one dessert for the rest of my life, it would be cheesecake. Absolutely. And not a specific kind. I can switch it up. Fuck you. Respectable. I can have all different kinds of cheesecake. Yeah. It's respectable. I think I've told you this before and you guys are going to fucking laugh. And I don't care because I don't give a fuck about money. or anything like that, if I can instantly master one skill, what would it be? And I'm sticking with it. After all these fucking weeks when I told you initially, baking. I can't fucking bake. I can cook my ass off. I love fucking baked goods, cake, pastries.
If I could do that myself, I would be so happy, dude. That would lead him to money, so it's fair. It really isn't, though. Why? Because you could hire a baking staff and have – Yeah, you could say I would like – But I could also hire a baking staff to cook for me, but I love cooking. You could say I would like to master the stock market, and then you could buy all of the bakeries. I don't want to buy – I want to do it myself. I want to bake a fucking lobster tail and fucking have that motherfucker perfect. Like, you ever see that fucking guy that does, like, those fucking crazy croissants and does, like, pistachio croissants and shit like that and all these different things? He's on, like, TikTok, I think.
And they look so – if I could do shit like that just from scratch and just make fucking whatever I wanted, any pastry, any cake, any fucking thing I want, it would be the most amazing thing ever. You're a fat kid at heart even though you're anorexic as fuck. Yes. Yeah. If that's all right, I can fucking suck my balls. I said music, which is also basically useless because I'm not trying to use – you don't want to use it for financial gain either. No. Neither do I. It has nothing to do with financial gain. It has to do with personal pleasure. I can't talk shit. Fair enough. Yeah. Fair enough. That is a super gay answer. I'm always going to roast you for that. Fine. Roast me forever, bro. I always will. I'm called gay on the timeline 75 times a day.
I can't – okay. Here's a follow-up question, new question. If you could get all the benefits of perfect macros and micros every day for the rest of your life Okay. So that you have all the perfect fuel for the right physique and health purposes as well. But you can't eat. But you never have to eat. No. That's never happening. Really? No. Fuck no. But you're not hungry either. you'll kill yourself nope my really alex doesn't sound like real life my whole life and it stems it stems from wrestling dude when you're a wrestler and you're cutting 30 pounds and sucking down to like fucking no body fat and you do that for fucking 10 years and you just develop this fucking, I don't know what it is, what it does to you, but like, I love food, man. I love going to McDonald's and enjoying it. People are like, oh, it's for 30 seconds of enjoyment. You just, no, I enjoy the fuck out of that. And I enjoy it for the whole fucking night that I just ate McDonald's.
When I'm eating a piece of cake, I'm not eating a piece of cake. I'm eating as much of that cake as I fucking can. And I'm enjoying the fuck out of it. I love food, dude. Mike is a poster child for GLP-1s. I don't need them, though. I don't even use them. I know. I know. Just the way you talk about food, people would be like, you could sell GLP-1s so good despite not taking them because you can relate to the fatties out there. Yeah. Can you agree, Michael? Yeah. I can't imagine not eating. That would suck. I like to eat. It's like the Jetsons, bro. I think they had a pill that they took. Just imagine that you can erase the hunger and you never have to worry about it anymore. but you have somehow all the magically perfect macros and Alex food brings people together you're gonna you're gonna like become this sounds honestly like the beginning of becoming a super villain yeah it's like any other human being you're gonna be like oh I'm actually just perfect fuck everybody oh you have to eat oh you poop you know bro I didn't even think about that You're kind of backing my point now.
You don't even have to poop anymore. Think about how much more convenient your life becomes. Again, pooping is glorious. What are you talking about? A good shit is fantastic bro It a pleasurable thing It a great pleasure in life sitting on the toilet and you drop a wonderful deuce it especially when it a ghost poop and you barely have to wipe which i use a fucking bidet now so i don't have to so it's even better and more enjoyable oh i'm like i got a bidet now well that's because he gets his ass eating so much on the reg he needs my wife does not eat my ass and i would not allow that that's disgusting at least we found some common ground yeah that's disgusting i would not allow that i don't care if i just scrubbed my asshole with fucking bleach i still would not let my wife eat my ass that's disgusting i don't think i could look at her the same like you just eat my ass like ew you're fucking disgusting bro that's how i look at you now one small thing that bobs his shit out of me honestly this is gonna sound stupid but i taller people taller people i hate picking up i hate picking up dog poop i want i want one of those affordable machines that like i want one of those robots that does it for you but they're too expensive right now that would be fantastic i hate picking up dog shit it's very and i love dogs so I'm never not going to have a dog.
I could get on board with that. Yes. If I could anonymously destroy someone's life, whose would it be? It's not someone's life. It's everyone's life. It is every pedophile who's ever existed. I would destroy every motherfucking one of them. And I'm talking about murder, too. They could just die. That's the best answer we've had. Yes, that's the answer, bro. I don't think it gets any better than that. If you're fucking diddling kids, bro, you deserve to fucking die. publicly publicly publicly fucking castrated hung fucking what whatever they want to do to you live streaming i think you allow people here all right let's get let me add a layer to it what what if the pedophile had reproduced already and had a son how do you view the offspring what do you mean what do you mean it's not his fault no no no i mean you understand like in times of where like countries are overthrown they kill the king and then they kill his son and they kill you know like any of his bloodline because they don't want whatever was in that guy no we not living in fucking medieval times where we need to believe that well I mean I hey look it is what it is it possible i not saying it is the kid did nothing right now he grows up to diddle a fucking other kid yeah you're dead okay all right i'm just trying to see where your mind goes with this whole thing yeah like yeah slaughter the whole boy no no no what were you were to say something alex you were
gonna say add something to this yeah no i was just first of all i feel like you skirted the rules there i don't like how you did that and you just made a whole cat well because the way you asked the question sounded like it was a specific individual or individuals and then you kind of made it a whole so should i should i rephrase this question and say could if you could anonymous anonymously destroy someone or uh like any group of people answer the question with one person it's kind of i don't know yeah it's kind of like if you were if you were if you were the emperor of earth or something and there was no repercussions, who would you punish, I guess, or something like that. That's a good one. Something like that.
That is a good one, yeah. Because I always go to the people in my head, specifically, I'm like, I'm not putting that online in case I decide to do it. Yeah, well, I thought about this long and hard because I knew this question was going to have to be answered for me and this is the answer. I don't think it gets better than that answer. No, I agree with you. So my next question is, what do you think about this proposal for those pedos? You let the dad's uncles decide what to do, hand them over, and let them deal with it in whatever manner, as long as they live stream and post it to deter the rest, to scare everyone. I am down with that. I think that's even better. Right. What parent would not want that power to fucking take that motherfucker's life?
Absolutely. No. Yeah. I've answered the die question, too, so I'm done. Oh, good show, everybody. Have a good night. See you. Hey, where is the Texas thing taking place? Dallas. Dallas. Dallas. Gotcha. Yeah, if you click on Dukes' fucking page, it's got the thing there you can click on and get the hotel at a discount. Gotcha. Yeah.
Well, what do you guys got going on the rest of the day? Um, today is nothing the rest of the day. Yeah, I'm probably going to order some food. I stopped cooking on Saturday. Saturday is always my fucking eat whatever I want dinner. But I've stopped cooking on Sundays, too, so it's just Monday through Friday I cook now. So I'm probably going to order some food while I'm on vacation. I don't know what I'm going to order, but we're going to order something.
Grabs. Crabs. No crabs. No crabs. Now, if you were to say you're going to have lobster. Crab is better than lobster. Yeah, I agree. But if you were to say, hey, I'm going to have lobster, like, I totally understand just saying lobster. You just fucked yourself. But lobsters, because you don't ever have more than one lobster. Yeah, you do. I had two after dinner. You can see my plate that I posted. That I had two lobsters fucking on my paella at the plate. You just have to be fucking different, Mike. It came with two lobster tails. Right? Go fuck yourself. You're different.
Crabs is associated with the STD. Yes. You can't say crabs. No. No one ever says I'm having crabs for dinner. I don't think anybody's gotten crabs since 2005. Like, you don't hear about that shit. Oh, wrong. Go to an old person home. How do we ask this to AI in a neutral way where it doesn't know? Why would the old people be subject to crabs disproportionately than others? Old people homes are disgusting places where these old people fuck all the time and they get STDs. 100% fact. Oh, Jesus. Look that shit up, bro. I'm telling you, my grandfather was in one. No, thank you. I know people that have worked there. That shit is like fucking, it's like prostitution fucking alley over there. Except they're not doing it for money.
It's just fucking, hey, old man fucking. What a hell of a way to end the show. What do you mean end the show, bro? Is the show over? Didn't we just start it? Yeah, you fucking asshole. What a ridiculous way to go out on a bang to put that into the viewers' minds. Are you trying to leave already, dude? No, what do you mean leave already? Haven't we been on here for like an hour? No. What time is it? Well, I feel like we just started getting going. I know. What the fuck? You just asked like the ending questions. You end the show every time with those. It the boys episode you fucking asshole Yeah we having a good time This is the best episode so far I think All right you going to answer my questions then Yeah Fine fantastic I don even remember your question I think they fitness questions What's the worst fitness advice that you've ever received?
Okay, very simple. It might not seem the worst to you, but when I first started getting into fitness, you always get funneled to those big accounts when you're looking up stuff on YouTube. And the first person that I leaned towards was Jeff Cavalier. Oh, yeah. You told me that one. And it was, don't, it was rest 45 seconds between sets. So that's what I did for many, many months, was just 45-second rest. And I think that's the most absurd thing looking back now. Yeah. I mean, that has its applications, but, like, is it overall, that's what you have to do every time? Doesn't really make any fucking sense. No, it's fucking crazy. You're literally, like, all your lifts are suffering worse and worse as the fucking, as the lift goes on.
Because it's not enough time, right? Not enough time, man. Right. Okay. Yeah, I mean, that, again, it has its applications. Yeah, if you're doing, like, some kind of, like, it's almost like a CrossFit-y kind of circuit training kind of thing. Alex. Yes, sir. Worst fitness advice you've ever received. Oh. I don't know enough about the space, but probably when I had that herniated disc, it was that when the doctors, three doctors told me, just lay in bed for three, it took me three months, lay in bed. And actually, calling back to what you said before, Mike, I can see not in your head. It was some guy in, gosh, I don't remember which state, somewhere in middle America, A friend connected me to him. He was a strength gym owner.
He put me in touch and the guy goes, and this was after three months of being in bed. No doctor can help. Trying different types. And he goes, dude, just start walking and start squat. Do the same shit that caused the issue. Just start slow. Walks. Lift from the ground. Squat. Shit like that. Look at fucking Yeah Yeah Yeah So that probably the worst I don know if it fitness but that the best I can think of No that a good answer That a good answer yeah All right, Mike, if you had three exercises to do the rest of your life, you could only have three, what would they be?
Deadlift. Incline press. Incline press what? Dumbbell press. Okay. Incline dumbbell press and pull-ups. Or maybe pull-downs. I don't know. I'm between the two. I love my pull-downs. But if I could include assisted pull-ups in the pull-ups, that would be my answer. Sure, with the resistance band, yeah. Then yes, I would pick pull-ups. Cool, cool. Not bad. Alex, what do you got? I used to say when we talked about this before, dips, but then you and I talked about this more, and I think push-ups probably should take that piece because of how dynamic they are, and you can do them anywhere. You don't need, you know, if you're in a six-by-six cell for talking to Dispo, for example, on the podcast, you can still do your push-ups, right?
Right, so, push-ups, pull-ups, I'm including chin-ups and all the variations there, and I'd probably go with Bulgarians, although I would prefer this, the walking weighted lunges for the sake of my stomach, you know, because Bulgarians suck. They're terrible. I would have to go with Bulgarians. It's interesting you said that about dips, because dips is my answer to that question. Yeah, like I say dips, pull-ups, walking lunges. And push-ups is still a great fucking answer. But yeah, I mean, dips, push-ups are sick. Mike, I like your answers too. I haven't been surprised really by anybody who came on and said anything about that, but I think, maybe it was Joey, maybe it was Dispo. One of them, I'll have to look back.
One of them did say something, I was like, that's peculiar. Like why But I can remember what it was Honestly I never really hear too bad of an answer from that I am waiting for the day where somebody is just like oh I like reverse curls I like leg extension and you know just like some bullshit like those if you had three to do the rest of your life that it like you know just terrible answers
But anyhow, what else do I have? What else do I usually ask? Oh, the infamous do you eat ass question. I already know the answer to that from both of you fuckers. Yeah, and you know my fucking, my theory, and it still holds true to everyone we've talked to. Yeah, we know your theory. You know his theory, Alex? I don't, it's not ringing a bell. His theory is that if you're a married man, and you eat ass, you will have a successful marriage. Yes, all the people that say no to that question are either divorced, not married, or single. It's a fact.
Everyone we've asked that to, that is the case. So, anyhow, moving on, because I don't believe anything that comes out of Mike's fucking head. Oh. Do you guys have anything else for me? Like, Alex, you don't have questions. Yeah, well, I haven't developed my questions for the podcast yet, but I have a few written down here, but they're not That is interesting. You want me to jump in this, like, just ask a couple questions? Yes, please. Yeah, I got a few more minutes and then I got to bounce. Go ahead. So let's do it. How much time you got, faggot? Let's give it till 4.30, my time. 4.30, all right. We got 12 minutes? All right, let's see. I've asked a couple of these before. Name, like, what's an animal, you can list a couple if you like.
Start with you, Michael, that you'd like to be able to turn into for 24 hours at a time. Okay, an eagle. Like that one? Yeah, yeah. You want more than just that? If you can't, it's up to you. Maybe a hammerhead shark. Why? Why that one? I feel like that would just be a sick way to get around the ocean and see some shit. Just kind of like experience that? Yeah, yeah. I feel like they're chilling. Because they're kind of like bottom feeders, you know, so they're always going to be around like the coral reefs and I don't know, they're not like... They're not like, I don't know how to explain it, bro. Your answer sucked. I mean, I'm kind of with it. I'm not. You're not? Okay.
What is it, Michael Jesus Christ? I don't like flying, so I'm not picking a fucking bird. But you are built to fly. I don't give a fuck. If I could turn in, that means I am me, and I'm going to turn into an eagle, but I'm still me. I hate flying. Fuck that. I don't want to be in the middle of a fucking ocean where there's all kinds of crazy shit there. Fuck that. I'm a land animal. I'm staying on land, and I'm picking a wolf because a wolf is a bad motherfucker. What if I did the rest of the show like this? It looks pretty badass, actually. I'm picking a wolf, dude. Okay. I think you'd be sick. Why? I just think you'd be sick. You're a fucking... You're fucking... You're traveling in a pack with your fucking homies, and you're just fucking destroying motherfuckers.
You're fucking eating. You're fucking killing things. It's primitive. Like, I'm a fucking Viking or something like that back in the day. He's quite passionate about this. That's a great answer. Yeah. I like that. Is there any other ones that pop into mind for you, Mike? Maybe a BBW. I'd like to see what it's like to be that huge. That's probably – that's the first thing that came to mind. I don't have anything else that just stuck out like that. No water, no flight. Nope, not happening, bro. It's going to be on land if I'm anything.
Even if you are the origins of flight? No. Okay, okay, okay. what other professions a lot of these are open ended guys what other professions might you have been in another life or may become later in this one or no actor that's fucked up dude that you said that because I answered that question earlier today the same you asked that question earlier i answered it i answered it the same no before my it was 1 a.m this morning i answered it the same way well great minds think alike that's where all right give me one more give me a couple porn star yeah i can see it i can see it i mean we've seen his text messages single fucking losers man i want to be a fucking porn star he didn't say wanted to he He said, my question was what other professions might you have been Yeah it never been an aspiration Mike Don get it confused All right I don know I don have any other answers dude I done enough actually I had a lot of different hats Lawyer, probably, because I'm acting as my own for fucking several years now.
Yep. Alex, what do you got? What's your answer? Oh, man. I didn't answer that. You didn't let me fucking answer. Yeah, let's go. Let's let Mike go. What the fuck? I asked Alex. um my first man i really didn't think about it but uh okay so you in you know right now you have your life there's so many ways the path could have developed over the course of the years what else could it have been or what my day porno actor he's sure yeah good one or what could it turn into potentially in the future that's not necessarily you're not allowed to use like anything that's related. It can't be cooking. It can't be fitness. It's got to be some totally different shit to what we're actually doing now. Tattoo artist. I actually thought about that.
I bet. Really? When I was younger, yeah. I thought that would have been cool. I used to draw a lot when I was a kid. I was really into drawing and shit like that. I thought about that when I was like 18, 19 years old. Badass. Would be sick. do you still draw or no no i don't do it anymore yeah just not fun anymore or just don't really give a fuck jerks off eats ass yeah is there anything that is still interesting that would that's like uh totally different you're like i probably won't do that but it would be that'd be pretty fucking cool or fun uh No, nothing really comes to mind, man. I just kind of am leaning into the un-entrepreneurial stuff, like the business and shit like that, that I've never experienced before.
I'm kind of really getting into that. So that's where I'm leaning towards now. But I don't know where it's going to lead, but it's exciting. What about if we take away the reasonableness? Like, if, maybe I should rephrase the question in the future, like, if you were, what would 12-year-old Mike and Michael be like? 12-year-old me would have probably been a fucking cop or a fireman. I mean Or a fucking professional baseball player Yeah professional basketball cop Something like that Yeah I think that like the usual man answer I want it to be like a spy. Yeah, that's cool. James Bond shit, you know? Yeah. I want to be Batman. Yeah, dude, I want to be Batman. Oh, that's another one for the list. Favorite superhero.
I hate superheroes. Yeah, me too, but Batman. Really? Batman is the gayest superhero, bro. No. How dare you? Oh, my God, dude. How dare you? How does Mike even have the right to use the First Amendment? Bro, Batman is by far – I don't know much about superheroes. I don't watch any of the Marvel, DC bullshit, but Batman is by far the worst fucking – he's got no superpowers. That's what makes him the best. No, it doesn't because if I'm any other super fucking hero, I could beat the fucking shit out of Batman. have you seen the superhero movie with uh like superman versus batman no see i haven't either but i don't think superman wins well because it's a movie and it's not real but batman can live in the real world that's why he's the best one so can spider-man right but spider-man's extremely gay he didn't know he spider-man can't live in the real world he shoots webs out of his fucking wrists okay true yeah all right so you didn't answer the question you just talk shit about batman who's who's the if you had his favorite superhero is the penguin from batman i would rather be the penguin than batman go look up danny devito playing the penguin yeah that's that's your spirit animal um if i i don't really know a lot of them but i mean i always liked uh the rock dude what's that the thing oh the the uh he's talking about groot right no that's fucking no the thing with a rock guy?
Oh, I think I know this orange dude from back there. Or something. Bro, you guys are fucking assholes. Bro, just... That's my answer. Michael, what's yours? Jamie, pull it up! Yours is Batman? Alright, let me switch it. See if I can get a better answer out of Mike here. Alright, bro. Here, look. Look at my fucking phone. No, don't show us the dick. Oh, not the dick pic. Oh, from the Fantastic Four? Yes. Yes. I don't know what that thing is. Yeah. It like a rock dude Yeah He kind of like the Hulk but made of rock One super All right You have one to three superpowers New question New round for the whole group. Easy. Three. You got three. Why not just stick with one? That's more fun. You can have up to three, or you can just pick one.
I want to hear you guys first, because I have mine, and I think it's the best answer. Teleportation. That's my first one as well. Really? Mine's... Yes. That is a fucking great one. That's my first one. My dog. Damn it. Hey, it's the knuckles, dude. That might be. My man. That's my first one. That's what I was going to say first. Yes. That is great. What's your first, Mike? I think invisibility is fucking awesome. Invisibility? Yeah. I think that's fucking awesome. Where would you use it? I don't want to say.
That's fucking ridiculous. I think it's better that you answer it. I think it is, too. Invisibility is my second. Super Strength would be the third. Super Strength? Yep. Then you got all three that you need. Yeah, because you don't need to fly because you're fucking teleportation. Very true. You're probably right. That's probably like the legit three answers. That is, too. There's other good ones, but those three are as best as it's going to get. Maybe if you switch invisibility to some kind of laser beam or something like that that you can shoot. You know what I mean? Because then you have super power, teleportation, and a device to fucking fuck people up from a distance. I would like to be incognito, though.
So the invisibility thing is important. It is true, yeah. Yeah. I got like one minute where you got burnout round let's go burnout round I don't you can't put me on the spotlight I don't know Michael what's your favorite energy drink besides Red Bull besides Red Bull yeah man honestly and I haven't had one in several years the original monster the green one the green one. Okay. It's been like 100 years. I actually have that in the fridge right now. Yeah, it's a good... Dude, the taste. I don't know what it is, man. It just is pretty fucking good. Yeah. Yeah. Alright.
Alex, what about you? What is your favorite energy drink in... We have never discussed that before. I'm not really a big energy drink guy. I do like the yapper. Shout out to TJ. But I'm not a big caffeine guy. So that's why we got these motherfuckers. And that's it. I don't know. You know the no shade to our boy. But I do like the flavor of some of those C4. Like there's a Skittles one that I like from C4. Mike, did you try that?
Mike, have you gotten around to the C4 ones yet? Nope. I'm trying all the fucking Gorilla Mind and Ghost first. Then I'm going to move to Monster. Then I'm going to do those weird ones like that, the C4. I'll even try the fucking Alani's. I don't give a fuck. Are you going to pick one from each and then that will be your go-to from each brand, basically? Yeah, I'm going to just find out what my favorite ones are, man.
There's a lot of people trying to be like you. It's fucking hysterical. But they'll never be you. They'll never be you, Mike. I literally just got sent a DM. What the fuck's going on with the energy drinks? It's all over my timeline. Michael, you gotta go, huh? Gentlemen, it's been a pleasure. It's been real. Don't do it. It's been fun. Don't do it. But I can't say the rest because that would be plagiarizing. And gay. Yeah. Well, sick. Hey first boys podcast huh Yeah that was good That was a good episode Alex I want you to run back the video on all this and see how many times we can see your sweaty armpits I was just going to say that. It's so fantastic, bro. He's like the worst thing is when I sweat when I don't want to when he's been fucking profusely sweating the whole episode.
That's terrible. Yes, sir. Awesome. I'm happy. Alex, Michael, talk to you. Alex, send me that stuff, please. We've got to get this shit fucking done. I'm getting very fucking, I'm going to kill myself. What did I miss when you guys were having technical difficulties at the beginning? We were talking about the book. Oh, okay. Yeah. Gotcha. Yeah. We were like, yeah. And we were helping you. Yeah. Yes. Analyzing, you know, the dimensions of the hog and kind of like, well, there's some dark spots, stuff like that.
Just the basics. so okay just basics is the game anyway this is welcome to definitely bad advice this is welcome to definitely bad advice that's the name of the show welcome to definitely bad advice we're introducing everybody to bad advice this was definitely bad advice this is definitely bad that's some bad advice peace out pussies every time mike sends me a package it's not my name It's voiceofanangel and my address. It is. It's voiceofanangel, and I've been brainstorming on what I'm going to send him next.
That was definitely some bad advice.