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That's the way it works.
Okay,
we're starting.
Okay,
we are in if you have the sheet it's the last paragraph of the
fourth column it starts וזה יסוד עבודת התפילה we did it I just want
to repeat this before I go further it's עמוד פ"ד and in brackets it
says 720 on its right side over there on the top.
That's where I'm up to.
So let's see we were talking about what we're supposed to be doing in
דאווענען and what it's about.
The discussion what we've brought up so far is that the purpose specifically of
פסוקי דזמרה leading into קריאת שמע etcetera is to create אהבת השם.
And we're supposed to be דאווענען with a certain I don't know about you
I mean I'll be very blunt the בעל התניא writes a person going to
work a typical שחרית in a weekday should take 90 minutes.
He says he doesn't see how you could possibly do it with less.
I'm telling you the way it is you make your חשבון I told you
already what to do you wake up earlier you get to שול to make
מנין with שמונה עשרה but it doesn't mean you didn't take an hour to
get there.
Anyway so this says I'm going to read this paragraph וזה יסוד עבודת התפילה
this is the fundamental basis of our service of God through prayer היא עבודה
שבלב it is the service of the emotions of the heart.
עבודה הוא לשון תיקון.
What does עבודה mean?
It means to fix things to erect things to put things in place לתקן
לתקן עולם במלכות שקי God fixes up the world that it should be a
מלכות for הקדוש ברוך הוא.
What are you supposed to be מתקן?
So he says what's the עבודה לתקן הלב you're supposed to fix yourself your
emotional personality your דאווענען is supposed to make you feel differently.
ולעשותה כלי ריקן you have to be able to make yourself an empty vessel
devoid of everything to focus on what you're doing and to realize you're just
waiting for God to give what He wants to give but you have to
first walk away from self-serving feelings.
והיינו כי לבד השגה והתבוננות outside of the fact that one must contemplate of
what we're saying and thinking internally thinking of what we're saying there's another thing
in תפילה.
מיסודי התפילה from the foundations of תפילה is הכרה בשפלות עצמו you have to
realize how far you are from perfection.
Now where's the source of this idea?
I'm going to show you it's a גמרא it's a משנה actually.
המשנה says in ברכות in the beginning of פרק אין עומדין that's page 30b
המשנה says אין עומדין להתפלל you don't stand before you don't stand to דאווען
אלא מתוך כובד ראש you first have to be somewhat heavy-headed.
What does כובד ראש mean?
So רש"י writes הכנעה you basically feel very you know you're subjugated you're humble
you're bent you're not walking around proud of yourself you're lacking you feel humble
הכנעה that's what it means you must דאווען with a sense of הכנעה.
And this is I'm hoping this will happen one day.
Now where's the source of this?
I'm going to show the source of this is a גמרא the גמרא brings
the פסוקים and thus we'll understand what is the idea of הכנעה.
So the גמרא says מנא הני מילי from whence do we know this הלכה
that דאווענען has to be מתוך הכנעה from a sense of bending down of
subjugation of the idea that you don't feel haughty that you feel dependent.
אמר רבי אלעזר Rabbi Elazar says stam Elazar in the גמרא is רבי אלעזר
בן פדת by the way.
דאמר קרא the פסוק says והיא we're talking about חנה חנה the mother of
שמואל when she prayed in the משכן she was barren and she wanted a
child.
So it says as she prayed והיא מרת נפש she was bitter she hurt
she דאווען in pain והיא מרת נפש.
So we see here that הכנעה means מרת נפש means you're really missing things
it's not up to you you feel totally hanging in your dependency on God.
That's הכנעה in other words I have nothing to I don't have anything it's
up to you.
So במרת נפש.
But the גמרא brings another פסוק.
פסוק says in תהילים in פרק ה,
ואני ברב חסדך מי,
I ברב חסדך with your great grace and mercy,
אבא ביתך I will come to your house,
I will come to your שול,
I will come to your מקדש.
אשתחוה אל היכל קדשך I will prostrate myself to Your to Your היכל to
Your great holy hall which is the בית המקדש,
for us it means today towards the ארון קודש ביראתך I will do this
השתחויה with a sense of awe of You.
So so far הכנעה means מרת נפש and הכנעה also means יראה.
יראה means to say not you just fear,
you're not afraid that the sky's going to fall on you,
you fear you stand in awe in front of greatness which diminishes your sense
of independence and ego.
So again כובד ראש means something which creates יראה a sense of awe.
I always say a hundred times I remember the first time I went to
see רב משה פיינשטיין זכר צדיק לברכה.
He was a small man he was barely five feet.
Believe me.
א כווענציקער,
א קליינער מענטשעלע but I just looked at this beautiful person with these rosy
cheeks and I think God this little person has like hundreds and hundreds of
times of ש"ס under his belt and hundreds and hundreds of times of שלחן
ערוך under his belt.
How this little body knows so much?
And I felt so small,
all of a sudden I felt all the projected images which I had about
myself they were like puny compared to this guy that,
you know,
he can rattle it off without thinking twice,
anything,
anywhere with no questions asked.
Did you feel that you wanted to hug the person?
Yes.
Were you afraid of the person?
Are you kidding?
You were drawn to him.
Did you feel so small?
Yeah,
but it was a nice feeling of small.
It was a feeling of truth.
Like okay now I know what it looks like.
Okay now I know where I am.
I'm an ant,
brother,
but I've seen,
you know,
a giant and I know what giants look like.
It's pretty good,
at least I realized what it is.
So that's that's a beautiful sense of humility.
It's not something which makes you feel terrible.
So יראה does not mean scared.
יראה means you're in awe because you've encountered a great truth.
So this again so דאווענען demands מרת נפש total dependency,
יראה which means השתחויה you prostrate yourself in front of God because you're in
sense of awe you have no standing you lose the independent sense of stature.
That's the second source.
The third source of the משנה is it says אמר רבי יהושע בן לוי
it says השתחוו לה' בהדרת קדש.
You say that.
Bow out to God with a with great majesty.
אל תקרי בהדרת אלא בחרדת.
We have that multiple times in in גמרא where they do דרשות they take
words with letters which are interchangeable like אל תקרי בנייך אלא בונייך אל תקרי
בהדרת אלא בחרדת.
They switch the הא to the חית.
And so we have this many many places and there's a beautiful רמב"ם on
it but this is not the place.
The idea of חרדה.
What's חרדה mean?
What's חרד?
There's a common word today חרדי which is nothing more than a sociological phenomenon
and no clear definition of the term because I know חרדים which are saints
and I know חרדים which are whew they play the casino.
So I'm not sure what the word חרדי means just like I don't know
what the word modern orthodox means.
I know the רב אהרן ליכטנשטיין was a צדיק גמור by ממש like a
צדיק גמור a גאנץ חסיד.
And I know people that call themselves modern orthodox which you'd have to look
for a microscope with their יארמולקע on somehow towards the back of their head.
We have political figures like that in Israel.
What's the common denominator between them?
Not sure I know except for a sociological umbrella.
So but what does it really mean חרדי?
So it's a פסוק היתקע שופר בעיר ועם לא יחרדו.
So רש"י explains that what does חרדה mean?
You become you like stop thinking of anything you're just in you're frozen.
You're frozen.
You're you're you're totally frozen.
It's like a sense of terror.
You're frozen oh,
you know,
you're frozen.
So that's the idea of חרדי.
A חרדי is a person supposed to be someone which with he has an
intense sense of God awareness that it freezes him from walking away.
He can't not focus.
You become like a moth towards the light.
It's like the Pied Piper of Hamelin.
So this is what's happening here.
So this is the idea of השתחויה must be with So this is the
idea of השתחויה must be with חרדה.
Rashi used the לשון פינוי הלב.
It means all other emotions cease to exist,
there's only one thing focused on the greatness of God.
So that's the way you're supposed to be דאוונינג.
Now there's another source.
The other source is עבדו את ה' ביראה,
you must serve God with awe.
וגילו and you sing,
right,
we sang לכה דודי and all the other nice things what we do at
קל אדון,
you know in a nice Young Israel שול,
we sing away.
It's supposed to be וגילו ברעדה,
but when you sing you're supposed to tremble.
That people forget,
okay,
זימרמוכו,
don't be so היימיש,
as one would say.
You didn't play marbles with God,
okay?
You're standing in front of מלך מלכי המלכים.
You're very happy that you're standing in front of Him,
but you're shaking.
Now,
this is how Rashi the different reasons of the גמרא how the גמרא explains
this and that and the idea this is all found in according to Rashi
what encapsulates all this is called הכנעה.
Because where did Rashi get the idea of הכנעה when the גמרא said חרדה,
יראה,
רעדה?
And the answer is obviously he understands that the שפלות of הכנעה is that
which generates or encapsulates within it all these feelings.
The person which is שפל ונכנע,
he lives with a sense of יראה,
חרדה and so on and so forth.
Otherwise this Rashi is very,
very,
very problematic.
The רמב"ם when he describes this הלכה of כובד ראש when we talk about
כובד this is not דברי אגדתא,
this is a דין.
It's a משנה.
This is if you don't do this don't דאוון for goodness sake.
The רמב"ם פוסק'נס this הלכה in פרק ד',
I think it is,
let me see for a minute if I have it here.
Let's see where where's the ט'?
ט'...
right,
פרק ד' הלכות תפילה הלכה ט"ז.
Well how does he describe כובד ראש?
So he says...
wait I got the wrong link here.
פרק ד' כובד ראש הלכה ט"ז.
He describes it in different words.
He doesn't use the word שפלות but he takes all these ideas of יראה,
חרדה etcetera and puts it in another description.
יפנה לבו מכל המחשבה which is חרדה.
Where does he get this idea from?
The answer is because it says חרדה וחרדת קודש,
that's where he gets it from once you know how to read the גמרא
well you realize the רמב"ם is not making things up,
every piece is a גמרא.
Okay,
but then he said ויראה עצמו one must see himself כאילו הוא עומד לפני
השכינה as if he's physically standing in front of the divine presence.
Well obviously that generates שפלות,
הכנעה,
חרדה.
God almighty,
standing in front of...
hey honestly,
standing in front of Reb Hutner was yeah,
whoa,
you made sure that you were focused.
You know what I mean?
So you're standing in front of מלך מלכי המלכים.
You don't your eyes don't wander and you don't שמוז with the חברה and
you're not interested.
You know what I mean?
Your eyes don't wander to the other side of the שול,
you don't care.
You're focused,
you barely can stand on your own.
That's how you're supposed to דאוון.
לפיכך therefore the דין is צריך לישב מעט קודם התפילה.
When you come into שול you don't just jump up and say מה טובו
and roll,
you sit down and think for a minute,
relax and go into contemplation כדי לכוון את לבו in order so before you
start דאוונינג,
kind of come ten minutes earlier and start thinking like what am I going
to do here and how do I prepare myself emotionally and mentally before I
go דאוון.
I repeat again,
some people do it at home and just come in for שמונה עשרה but
they're well revved up by then.
I'm telling you guys,
you understand you have to wake up an hour and a half before before
the מנין in שול because the מנין in שול takes roughly 12 minutes from
ברוך שאמר until שמונה עשרה,
we know.
Okay,
they think that פסוקי דזמרא is תפילת הדרך.
Okay.
לפיכך צריך לישב מעט קודם התפילה כדי לכוון לבו ואחר כך יתפלל.
Only after you've done this preparation of thinking of a focused thinking then you
pray בנחת you have to pray in a relaxed way which means you have
to ובתחנונים and it has to be a way of דאוונינג which is beseeching
which obviously doesn't fit with you know writing God emojis in your mind,
you know what I mean,
or telegrams or I don't know what,
some...
I once was standing next to somebody and he was...
I need ventolin to...
Do you talk to your wife that way?
First of all you kidding?
What what do you mean God's not senile I mean why you talking to
him that way?
I'm trying to say this is something you know I can repeat repeat it
has to be said because it has to go somewhere we have to understand
how we have to דאווענען ולא יעשה תפילתו כמי שנושא משאוי ומשליכו You don't
דאווען because oh this is a heavy load got to do it got to
check off the x okay let me get done with and throw it away
No you can't דאווען that way Don't דאווען Do me a favor don't go
to שול okay?
ולפיכך צריך לישב מעט אחר התפילה אדרבה those people that you know that by
עלינו they're at the they're at the door already they should לייגן גיהנום this
is ממש שלחן ערוך I hate to say it You're supposed to wait you're
supposed to sit down after דאווענען and and and think about what you just
did not because there's a שיעור of the רבי for five minutes on משנה
ברורה and you have to say קדיש דרבנן No after that think of what
you did ואחר כך יפטר only then you walk away from שול This is
the הלכה okay This is ממש this is not מידת חסידות this is not
דברי הגדה that's a דין Does anybody do it?
Well I guess we have to start doing it okay because this is what
we going to do This is the way people ask me why doesn't תפילה
help?
Because you don't דאווען what you're doing you're not דאווענען okay So this is
what he writes over here in this מאמר we're reading now so what's the
תכלית of it?
he says שפלות עצמו going back to what we read in the primary set
יסוד התפילה הכרה בשפלות עצמו One of the foundations of תפילה is recognizing your
שפלות how small you are compared to the great truth ויסוד זה הוא התחלת
עבודת היום That's how you're supposed to start You're supposed to start by saying
you're totally dependent and you really have very little to come to the table
with You have to beg okay במאמר מודה אני לפניך that's why you start
in the morning as soon as you wake up say thank you you know
I'm thank you that I'm alive okay להכיר מי הוא האני as we discussed
last time First of all you said the word אני start thinking who do
I mean when I say me?
Do I mean me the projected image or the me that I really feel
is me?
Okay so you have to do a lot of introspection to figure out when
you say I who do you mean?
Who do you mean?
Sometimes it's so funny because we're so tied up me the doctor me the
lawyer me the physics major No no no who's the me?
The little boy there that's still there you know the קליינע יינגעלע that he
doesn't have all the all the degrees and all that What are you for
real?
Okay תכלית what are you going to stand up before יום הדין you know?
Going in dancing in קרעסטיר and all these other things is not going to
get it What מה תעשה ליום הדין when the great judgment comes in they're
going to ask you well who are you?
and oh I have a PhD and and what else?
Okay now I know how you made your living Now what else?
עפעס א גארנישט נע למאי you made a good living thank God at least
you provided for your wife and your children Where are you?
So he says מודה אני I once told you a story about this מי
הוא אני וכי מתפלל הוא לפני מלך מלכי המלכים מודה אני לפניך I stand
in he didn't even say וואשן נעגל וואסער yet you look open your eyes
and say I you know in a very profound way me the way my
real me feels that I am now in the presence of God and I
am talking to him directly מודה אני לפניך You're in front of me not
third person לפניו לפניך Brother dear is that what you feel when you wake
up in the morning?
This is how it starts that's the הכנה לתפילה okay This is a big
I was taught this when I was all of eleven twelve years old and
it's years of hard labor to say מודה אני like a מענטש It's a
I give you a big יסוד If you say קריאת שמע על המטה like
a מענטש you go to sleep like a מענטש then you'll say מודה אני
like a מענטש It's a big כלל עס איז ווי מען לייגט זיך איין
and it's how you put yourself in bed that's how you're going to wake
up That's the bookends of your day brother how do you begin it and
how do you end it?
The rest will work well if you do those two things right So I'm
giving you an עצה טובה you know find a with a סידור קריאת שמע
על המטה do a שטיקל וידוי over there I suggest you start saying it
and there's it's not just you know קריאת שמע with המפיל most people don't
even say המפיל I don't want to say what they do Okay when's the
last time you said a קריאת שמע Okay,
I'm telling you,
it makes a whole difference for your whole day.
People don't כאפ.
That makes that will do everything.
That will change everything.
That plus the מודה אני,
you're covered.
And that's what he writes.
The first thing,
this foundation,
we'll say מודה אני like a מענטש.
What's it for?
וכדי להגיע לזה מתחילה באמת בעבודת התפילה או בהכנות לפני התפילה.
So in order to get this you have to prepare before דאווענען.
ולכן גזרו אומר,
and that's why they said in the משנה,
אין עומדים להתפלל.
We don't just stand and דאווען immediately,
אלא מתוך כובד ראש,
as we just learned a minute ago,
with heavy-headed,
הכנעה according to רש''י,
הכנעה ושפלות.
Okay,
היינו,
what does it mean?
שנכיר שפלותנו.
It means you actually have to think for a moment how small you are.
My suggest:
look at the great cosmos.
Look how big is the great globe.
It's a speck of dust.
And how big,
how much,
and how...
what percentage of the globe are there human beings?
A speck of a speck of dust.
And how many of them live with a God awareness?
I hate to say it,
אין פרומיל,
there's nothing there.
Okay?
That's all you are,
compared to the great creator.
No,
he created everything,
the whole freaking cosmos.
Just think of the Milky Way and think of your little globe.
It's a joke.
No,
everything is for me!
Yeah,
you sound like the mouse that roared.
You know,
it's like so funny.
Don't you understand?
Yeah,
you and the cheetah.
I don't know,
I think the cheetah's brighter than you.
Okay,
at least he knows his limitations.
Okay,
so I mean you get שפלות just buy yourself a telescope and start reading
astronomy,
you כאפ how small you are.
Just do it.
I mean,
I told you,
ישיבות don't כאפ.
They would teach more science,
the guys would have more ענווה.
Mark,
you're in a hospital,
you can see it.
You can see how small the body is.
Yeah,
משה גרויס boom!
Fell.
How many people do you have that thought they were at the peak of
health and all of a sudden beep,
some electric current went and bingo,
sayonara.
You know,
it's a קליין געלט.
You're an ant.
You can have a million ראשי תיבות before your name.
מפיץ תורה,
whatever you want,
with PhD,
M,
whatever,
LLB,
and you name it.
תחילה שעפר וסופו עפר.
You are potential worm fodder.
That's all you are.
Now,
now make it meaningful.
So that's what he says.
הן מצד עצם מהות נפש הבהמית בכלל.
First we'll talk about your animal inclinations.
If you be honest about your animal inclinations,
there ain't too many things to be proud about.
Maimonides discusses at length based on Aristotle that the most lowly part of the
human psyche is the idea of experiential self,
feeling.
Man needs to feel good.
He has to have experiential self,
you know,
sensual self,
sensuousness.
We are very sensuous animals.
That's why we want to be cuddled,
right?
That's why my grandchild will fall into my lap.
He wants to be cuddled,
he wants to go back to his womb,
he wants to feel secure.
The sensuous self is that,
the lowest part of the human being.
Maimonides describes this at length.
It's a necessity,
that's how God programmed us,
but that's the part which is not very intelligent because you and the animal
are the same thing.
That's who you are.
Basically,
you're much more sensuous than you are intellectual.
Most of us do not live intellectual lives as we've discussed this multiple times.
Okay,
we are very sensuous and we look for sensuous experiences,
you know,
a hot מעריב,
inspiring קבלת שבת.
You know,
everything we want should be hot and inspiring and sensuous.
Even our religion is nothing more than...
we look for it to be sensuous.
I can see that as a means towards an end,
but it's not the way.
It's become totally the goal.
That's why they're flat-headed.
It's really...
that's why Rabbi Amital זכר צדיק לברכה did not allow to have a Carlebach
קבלת שבת in the גוש.
Because he felt people are doing it,
looking at religion as something that makes you feel good and therefore you're connect
to it and they lost the sense of authority and obligation.
You must do it because it's a truth,
because it's the will of God,
not because it makes you feel good.
I heard this from him myself.
He said that's why he doesn't allow Carlebach קבלת שבת in גוש.
I don't know what's happening now,
I know...
but that's the way it was.
Was back in the old days.
רב אהרן couldn't care less,
that wasn't his thing.
Dancing wasn't his—it's almost funny to think about.
But הרב עמיטל was a very,
very warm person and I mean really he was bubbly,
I mean warm,
רב אהרן was warm but bubbly.
But no,
he wouldn't allow that because he felt this was taking Judaism away from truth
and making it nothing more than something makes you feel good and that's dangerous.
He was right.
Okay.
So first of all מצד הנפש הבהמית which is your subconscious each and everyone
במידותיו הרעים בפרט.
What about not just talking about the essence of a sensuous animal instincts of
every human being,
which is quite small and puny?
Now you can talk personally about your own מידות רעות.
How much are you really a good person?
You're about to die,
you're standing in front of God,
you want A,
you give him a shopping list.
It reminds me of a דרשה I once heard from הרב עובדיה יוסף זכר
צדיק לברכה in בית כנסת הרמב"ן in קטמון.
I remember when he was then a,
he wasn't the chief rabbi,
he was a דיין and he said a דרשה.
I used to live in the old קטמון.
I didn't like living in the חרדי society,
I wanted to be able to take the garbage out without putting my hat
and jacket on and I wanted to ride my bike and walk around with
my Bermudas.
So I lived in קטמון by normal people.
Anyway,
so I remember going to שול and הרב עובדיה this was before סליחות.
He says,
can you imagine,
he says a guy's gonna come,
guy goes to let's say to Saks Fifth Avenue.
And he walks to the counter,
you know,
and he's got like four suits,
each of them is like $22,000,
you understand?
And who knows how many shirts and I'm not talking about the Ferragamo ties,
and I'm not talking about the Bally shoes.
And he has a whole שטיקל over there which ברוך השם it costs.
He goes up to the counter,
they make a חשבון and they say well the sum is so and so
and so and so much.
So he takes out a crumbled five dollar bill and says listen,
can you give me credit?
So he says that's what we do in אבינו מלכנו.
You go to God,
give me this,
give me this,
give me that,
give me that.
And then you say the last one,
I want credit.
חננו ועננו.
I can't pay for this,
give me credit.
כי אין בנו מעשים.
עשה עמנו צדקה.
Go to Saks and do that and see what happens to you.
Okay?
Yet you do it.
I remember,
I'll never forget this,
it hit me like a punch in the face.
You're asking God for everything under the sun and its cousin.
Okay?
And then you say listen I actually can't pay for this and חננו I
need credit.
And I'm not sure I'm going to pay it.
You know?
אין בנו מעשים.
עשה עמנו צדקה וחסד.
Try doing it in Saks.
You may get away,
you know,
in some place in the East Side,
but there ain't no way you're going to get it,
you know,
on Rodeo Road,
you understand?
Try buying a suit on Rodeo Road and after going there saying on credit.
You do it in אבינו מלכנו,
don't you כאפ?
This is like crazy.
So he said that's what he said,
look at who you are,
you're about to stand in front of God,
you want to ask חכמה,
גאולה,
פרנסה,
you want good weather,
you have 19 requests.
Who the heck are you?
How do you dare ask?
Who do you think you are?
Are you crazy?
You wouldn't do this in Saks,
you wouldn't do this in Nordstroms.
Maybe in Nordstroms Outlet,
you know what I mean?
But God is not Nordstroms Outlet.
No,
I'm sorry,
no,
no,
this is the real McCoy,
okay?
Not Nordstroms שוואך.
Saks,
Saks,
Saks.
Neiman Marcus.
Something,
you know what I mean?
It's not like Cedarhurst,
you know,
where today they all there you can ask for credit,
you know what I mean?
Like,
remember Central Avenue the way it was fifty years ago.
That's what I'm talking about.
Try doing credit there.
Okay.
So that's what he says.
So he says בפרט שהשפלות מצד החטאים והעוונות ובזה נכיר ריחוקנו מאור האמת.
Let's just realize we live so far from the enlightenment of truth.
We live a freaking pack of lies.
וכי בחושך הולכים הננו כל היום.
All day we are blind,
we don't think about the truth,
we don't care about the truth,
we enjoy the bliss of ignorance and darkness.
That's the honest truth.
It makes it so much easier to engage in sensuous activities when there's no
light shining on you.
Sensuous activities demand no enlightenment.
Put a flashlight on the person,
he's going to stop,
okay.
So the question because you walk in the darkness,
that's why you're engulfed in sensuous activity.
וכי בחושך הולכים כל היום ואז נרגיש that you feel that and this is
where it gets hurts the most.
Now every person feels what I've done something.
After you look carefully at how far you are,
you suddenly realize all your great accomplishments they're not really much.
And he says listen,
וכי השלמות שמרגישים אנו בעצמנו,
we do oh,
I did something,
בשקר יסודה,
that basis is also not true.
You've blown up your achievements much more than what you really are compared to
the big picture and where you could be,
okay.
וכי באמת חסרים אנו כל טוב.
We actually lack everything.
This is the this is the feeling you're supposed to have that is the
כוונה,
don't know if you כאפ,
when you say in שמונה עשרה,
you start שמונה עשרה,
you say ה׳
שפתי תפתח ופי יגיד תהילתך.
What is your כוונה?
Gotta teach a daven.
God,
I'm not capable of opening my mouth.
Not just because you're I'm in awe of you,
because I realize I'm not bringing anything to the table.
There's actually no reason you should even want to hear me.
But you're crazy,
you're madly in love with us,
and you want us to talk.
Don't ask me,
makes no sense.
Okay.
You,
you,
you want but I'm afraid I can't talk.
I'm ashamed.
If you can possibly open my mouth for me,
give me a sense of assurance that יינגעלע,
you you you sing out of tune but I will not turn my back
and walk out on you.
That happens to be if you know what I mean.
Okay.
What would you do for singing out of tune וכולי.
So this is what's happening here.
I say God,
I sing out of tune.
Ain't no way.
But you know what?
Can you please give me the assurance that you're helping me open my mouth.
If you help me that then I'll talk.
That's what you're saying.
You literally have to acknowledge that you're not capable of opening your mouth.
I still remember as a young boy of seventeen years old it was one
ראש השנה that that the only part of the שמונה עשרה that I focused
on.
The rest I said by rote,
but that I sat like I sit there for forty minutes thinking about that.
Even sat down when they were all standing just you know,
think about that.
Believe me,
then you say the rest.
It's a different ballpark,
you understand?
So this is this is before שמונה עשרה,
it's before שמונה עשרה.
ה׳
שפתי תפתח ופי יגיד תהילתך.
That's the feeling you're supposed to that's called כובד ראש,
that's the חרדה of the גמרא,
that's כאילו עומד לפני השכינה of the רמב״ם,
that's the יראה of the גמרא,
that's the הכנעה and the שפלות of רש״י.
And this is what we mean here.
This is what it all is encapsulated in that one small little thing that
we mumble very fast.
Okay,
but that is a very heavy piece of sentence there,
no,
if you know I'm trying this is what we're supposed to.
והנה על ידי זה,
by just having that feeling that you can't open your mouth because really there's
no one to talk at the moment.
אף כי לא פעלנו עדיין לגרש כל התאוות מלבנו.
I haven't driven away all my obsessive desires,
I haven't.
I still have these obsessive desires for גשמיות,
for a good time,
for sensuous activities,
etc.
אבל מזה שנרגיש כי נרחקים מטוב אמיתי,
but if you honestly sat down and realized how far I am from anything
really good and meaningful.
וזה בנקל ביותר להגיע,
and that's quite easy to get to,
let's be honest,
you just look in the mirror,
start looking at what your day looks like,
you realize I'm a מוחו,
there's not much to talk about.
So let's be honest now,
you have to be very careful not to go into depression because of that.
Okay,
yeah,
because at the end you say,
but God loves me,
and that's what I am,
and he can't really want more from me,
but don't feel guilt,
don't be smug about it.
What we have to do is burst your own projected image,
your own bubble,
and be comfortable with your lowly truth.
That's what you have to be able to do.
I repeat,
we're not talking about something which is the רבי writes in תניא that עצבות
is an עבירה.
מרירות,
but being bitter about not getting what I could be,
that's good he says.
What is the difference between עצבות and מרירות?
עצבות is depression.
It stops you from doing anything.
That’s an עבירה.
That’s עצת היצר,
one should not engage in anything which could create any sense of destruction to
the extent of creating depression.
חלילה וחס.
Well I want to make it very clear because here I am hacking away,
I’m smiling,
okay,
but because we’re not talking about עצבות,
חלילה וחס,
it’s the worst thing,
it’s debilitating.
Any feeling which is debilitating,
doesn’t allow you to continue doing עבודת השם,
comes straight from the שטן,
the מלאך המות,
nothing to do with God.
That’s not עבודת השם.
So any person that thinks he’s going to learn מוסר and he’s going to
feel,
oh I’m terrible and all that,
that debilitating certain types of מוסר people.
איך בין א גארנישט,
you know,
and he’s so happy about it.
No,
that’s the מלאך המות.
No.
You should feel מרירות.
You should feel how can I,
I’m living,
I look,
I am what I am,
but I somehow project myself so much more than what I am.
No one’s telling you to destroy yourself,
but you have to be able to look at yourself for what you are,
and you are what you are.
It’s okay.
God loves you for what,
would you believe it,
He loves you for what you are.
He loves the human beings.
What are they?
They’re a speck of dust.
Okay.
There’s literally an old song used to be “Dust in the Wind” by Kansas,
I remember.
Okay.
They’re dust in the wind,
you know what I mean,
and you think and it’s over.
I remember there were really good lyrics in that one.
Okay.
עיין שם ותמצאו נחת.
Okay.
I sometimes,
you know,
the old lyrics from my days,
they carried stuff.
So this is it.
Yeah,
I’m just but dust is,
God made dust!
Hey,
I guess God likes dust.
You know what I mean?
But remember you’re dust.
Don’t walk around,
“Okay now God,
I’m a good man,
I’ve done this.” אם למדת תורה הרבה אל תחזיק טובה לעצמך כי לכך נוצרת.
Don’t give...
what do you want?
It’s a משנה in פרקי אבות.
Relax.
Okay,
so this is what he says.
That’s easy to get to.
To drive away the תאוות is a hard call.
We discussed this last time.
But first,
before you drive away the תאוות,
be honest about who the אני is when you say מודה אני.
Once that can be done,
and it really,
in the beginning it’s not comfortable,
but after once,
twice,
three times,
four times,
I would say after two weeks of being honest with yourself and remembering to
make sure your wife hugs you afterwards that you shouldn’t go into depression.
Okay,
you know what I mean?
And also look,
hey,
you have done the will of God.
Okay,
that’s important.
Okay.
But it’s not exactly who knows,
but you’ve done the will of God,
you’re trying your best to do the will of God,
that’s a plus.
Make sure you don’t destroy your sense of life,
you just have to bust the artificial sense of life.
It means looking for meaning and purpose for real.
Okay,
that’s not an easy thing to do.
Much easier,
you guys that have a medical profession,
at least you’re saving people the whole freaking time.
You know,
that’s easy.
Hardest thing is when you’re like me in my profession,
you’re always afraid you’re destroying people’s life.
You know,
you don’t know what you’re doing.
Okay.
But this is something,
this is easy to do,
he says.
בזה נעשה לב פנוי וריקא.
If you do that,
you’ve emptied out your heart,
you know,
there’s nothing left.
So what’s left is I’m an עבד,
I’m נכנע in front of הקדוש ברוך הוא,
then you’re a כלי for dialogue.
How many times have I said this story with the tube of glue?
Right?
You want to surface the thing,
first clean the surface,
scrub them.
Yeah.
Clean your surface and then connect to God.
Okay.
It’s like you know you have to tell these teenagers they’re dating.
What do they do?
It’s a joke what they’re doing.
Okay.
She’s projecting an image,
he’s projecting an image,
at the wedding they’re two projected images merging with each other.
Therefore the only one telling the truth is the photographer because he’s doing nothing
more than putting pictures of projected images.
In truth,
you don’t know her,
she doesn’t know you,
you’re an idiot,
she’s a jerk,
and then you’re going to get divorced.
Okay.
דו כאפסט?
מען דארף,
you have to know who you are and you have to know who she
is and you have to be able to connect as people.
Okay.
Let’s go further.
So he said this is easy to do.
בזה נעשה הרגיש וואס פעלט דעם עפעס העכער.
You feel you’re missing something more important.
There’s something higher than all this stupid life I’m living and I’m missing that.
That...
That's called נסירה.
You see what happens at that stage when you feel that you are low
and what you're really missing is so much more than just the stupid things.
So your תפילה is a תפילה בעת צרה that you just transformed your תפילה
into a תפילה דאורייתא.
Normally תפילה according to most ראשונים except for רמב"ם,
the only תפילה which is דאורייתא is a תפילה בעת צרה.
But if you דאוון the way you should be דאוונינג,
help brother dear,
every תפילה is a תפילה בעת צרה.
Help me be a meaningful person.
Okay,
that's a תפילה בעת,
that's a תפילה דאורייתא.
You just transformed it into something which should,
that's why there's a letter of the בעל התניא,
I'm going to quote it to you,
okay?
There's a letter of the בעל התניא that he writes,
I'm quoting the לשון of the רבי,
the בעל התניא,
כל האומר תפילה מדרבנן,
whoever said that today's דאוונינג is מדרבנן,
לא ראו מאורות מימיהם.
They never saw the lights.
Why?
כי אף שנוסח התפילה,
the liturgy of the תפילה is מדרבנן,
ובניינה and its structure is דרבנן,
and three times a day דרבנן,
אבל עיקר עניינה,
but the essence of דאוונינג,
which is יסוד כל התורה כולה,
etc.,
what is it?
That is a דאורייתא because it's through there creating שפלות and therefore creating אהבת
השם,
etc.,
this is what this is all about.
I'm going to stop now,
if you have to excuse me,
I have to make this short today.
I think this would,
I think we've done enough on this topic,
we'll move to another topic.
I'm hoping that somehow we have to wish,
to will,
to want,
to aspire,
עפעס דאוון once a week like a מענטש.
One תפילה,
can't even ask all of it.
עפעס once a week.
I have a great idea.
Wake up six in the morning on שבת,
do a real שחרית,
and then come to שול for the שמונה עשרה of the 10:00 מנין.
Don't go there before.
You go into the marketplace?
No.
What you do is you sit at home with a טלית,
you דאוון א געשמאקע תפילה ביז פסוקי דזמרא,
קרבנות,
פסוקי דזמרא,
קריאת שמע and the ברכות so you won't sing אל אדון with the people.
נישט געפערלעך,
it's not מעכב.
You'll come there for גאל ישראל.
I do this,
okay?
I'm telling you right now,
I do this.
There are some שולס which I rather not even come for גאל ישראל because
by the time I finish אתה קדוש,
they're already holding by הלל.
You know what I mean?
They finished חזרת הש"ץ.
What can I tell you?
Not going there,
but this is an עצה טובה,
we have to start דאוונינג.
Have a great one.
And I want to tell you,
you all got some תורה on שבועות,
you know.
The גמרא says,
I heard this once from the old אמשינאווער רבי זכר צדיק לברכה,
he passed on,
he was a wise man.
He says on שבועות you have to realize you're not allowed to be a
שוטה.
What's a שוטה?
A שוטה is a person,
the גמרא says איזהו שוטה,
who has a דין of a שוטה that he's פטור מן המצוות?
מאבד מה שנותנים לו,
he loses that which he's given.
They gave you the תורה on שבועות,
don't lose it!
Don't be a שוטה.
Don't be a מאבד מה שנותנים לו.
A big כלל,
נישט צו זיין א שוטה.
So this is a great ברכה,
I'm בענטשינג you all shouldn't be a שוטה.
It doesn't sound too good.
אמן.
Okay.
You shouldn't be a מאבד מה שנותנים לו.
Have a great one.
Love you all.
Bye.
Take care.
Thank you.
Thanks so much.
Bye.
Thank you.
מזל טוב מזל טוב.
Bye.
Take care.
ברכה והצלחה.
Thank you,
Rebbe.
Thank you.