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Kevin and Hartley say goodbye to the best bunny that wasn't Bugs.
See omnystudio.com/listener for privacy information.
For 25 years, Kevin Smith has tried to make his beardless, dickless twin of a daughter Harley laugh in real life. Now he does it every week on a podcast.
00:00:24
Speaker 1: Welcome back to Beardless Dick lists me.
00:00:32
Speaker 2: I'm host Kevin Smith and I'm Harley Quinn Smith.
00:00:35
Speaker 1: Look. Podcasting something I've been doing since two thousand and seventh Theater of the Mind they called this. Origins for my podcasting casting can be traced back to LaserDisc commentary threats on movies back used to be an audio medium and a lot of people listen to us on Spotify stuff like that. That's just audio, and I've met a lot of them. For the weekend, it's dropping beardless stick. What's me.
00:01:03
Speaker 2: That's wow, that's crazy.
00:01:06
Speaker 1: But I say all this just to also acknowledge that in the age of podcasting, video has become an important love that and if one were to be able to see the video for this, you would see only the Gotten Daughters had.
00:01:28
Speaker 2: Quite frankly, I was I was, honestly was wondering when you were going to say anything. But I thought it was just so.
00:01:38
Speaker 1: Like said kid regular, it was on the wire, everything just waiting. You think I'm gonna have a conversation off camera about the whole fucking Joe. What's the story there?
00:01:51
Speaker 2: It's a mannequin pussy the band that I like and that you like them too.
00:01:56
Speaker 1: There's a song that wound up in my playlist.
00:01:59
Speaker 2: Yeah to I think it's sounds Drunk two or something.
00:02:05
Speaker 1: Not to say Will Wilkins, but fuck Will, whoa whoa. Sometimes when I played the show back, like when I'm uploading the things to Will, and you know we love Will, and Will's a genius. I adn't take nothing away. But he told me to keep my volume at a certain point. And I don't see my green bar doing much climate. And when I listen to the playback, you're so much loud to me, like talk right now, Oh God, jumping the charts and ship. So I'm making an executive decision here, man oo, Who's Will Wilkins? Tell me what I can fucking do with my volume? Not I didn't work thirty years in this business, so I can have Will Wilkins tell me keep it at two three, between two and three, going to fucking four. Maybe we go to five in this bitch. You know why, because if you can wear a pussy hat, I can tear my volume. There are no rules here. We start putting pussy all over your head. Speaking of pussy all over the head, that's the name of the band.
00:03:09
Speaker 2: I was like speaking of what that's what you call it?
00:03:12
Speaker 3: Like what that other bands called mannequin pussy?
00:03:14
Speaker 1: Yeah, why don't you call your band pussy all over your head? Bro? People will chat.
00:03:20
Speaker 2: We have a name, it's Wench.
00:03:22
Speaker 1: I don't got a chat about that. So much pussy all over your head? Oh my god, that gets covered everywhere.
00:03:29
Speaker 2: Pussy all over? That is insane.
00:03:31
Speaker 1: Is it too late?
00:03:33
Speaker 2: I think it's it's a little late.
00:03:34
Speaker 1: Never too Let me talk to who else is in the band, Nick and Luke, Wick and Nuke.
00:03:38
Speaker 2: Yes, let me.
00:03:39
Speaker 1: Talk to fucking Igano. Man, I'm gonna I'm gonna put them on in front of you boys. None of us are getting younger. We don't have time to see if Wench works out. But you know what's instantly going to fucking earn the green that you all need. God, I already forgot the name of it, which is so weird becase you would imagine it was memorable. Pussy all over. Yes, it's the all over part. There's the middle part. I know it started with the pussy in in with head. Maybe we just fucking cut the middle man. I just called pussy head pussy heads pretty sweet.
00:04:11
Speaker 2: That is a good that's a good one.
00:04:13
Speaker 1: Pussy head. You can buy a few of those hashes, put right head under it, and you're there. You got mercher already.
00:04:18
Speaker 2: I'm gonna leave. I'm gonna leave pussy.
00:04:21
Speaker 1: You know what as well, you're gonna leave what.
00:04:25
Speaker 2: I'm gonna leave pussy to mannequin pussy and stick with Wench.
00:04:30
Speaker 1: If I had left fucking rats to the New York subway, there wouldn't be mall rats.
00:04:37
Speaker 2: You're really you have like an attitude today. I'm feisty. That is exactly what I was looking for. You are feisty as fuck today.
00:04:47
Speaker 1: I'm not the one that entered the room with a pussy on my head. Pussy all over your head coming soon? You could. Back in the day when I was a kid buying music like record old Sam goodies, you know, you step go to store to buy music. Ship.
00:05:04
Speaker 2: Yeah, and then.
00:05:06
Speaker 1: Those stories about albums about forty fives, about cassette tapes, about eight tracks. Then we moved down to compact. This that was the end of the rainbow.
00:05:18
Speaker 4: Yeah.
00:05:18
Speaker 1: Never got any more physical than that with music, did it?
00:05:24
Speaker 2: I think you covered it.
00:05:26
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's really going.
00:05:28
Speaker 2: Forty, he's really looking really hard. Please don't make that noise.
00:05:33
Speaker 3: Lucky's not making love, She's just cleaning.
00:05:35
Speaker 2: She's just going crazy.
00:05:37
Speaker 1: Luck, he's like dancing dancing. Yeh. Do you guys have a masturbatory tune in your repertoire yet?
00:05:50
Speaker 2: Anyways, So Cyndy.
00:05:52
Speaker 1: Lauper had a masturbatory song. It was very popular.
00:05:55
Speaker 2: I don't know.
00:05:57
Speaker 1: It's called she Bop. You know that song? Yeah, Okay, that's a song about jerking off whole song and that's not a theory now she talks about it all the time.
00:06:04
Speaker 2: That's cool.
00:06:04
Speaker 3: It's about female masturbation.
00:06:06
Speaker 2: Bro, that's that's great.
00:06:09
Speaker 1: I'm not saying be Cyndi Lauper, but like, ain't nobody done that track since then?
00:06:16
Speaker 2: I have some other inspirations at the moment, but I'll keep it in mind.
00:06:21
Speaker 1: What is it?
00:06:22
Speaker 3: What are your sonic inspirations?
00:06:24
Speaker 2: Just the relationships I've had?
00:06:26
Speaker 3: There's some you're writing about.
00:06:27
Speaker 2: Yeah, a lot of songs are about specific people. Anyways, there's one of them about me.
00:06:40
Speaker 1: Well, I should be happy.
00:06:41
Speaker 2: I should be happy. They're not. They're not.
00:06:43
Speaker 3: This is where you're working your ship out, Yeah, this.
00:06:45
Speaker 2: Is where I'm trying to work my feelings out, all right, speaking of feelings, would you like to say why we weren't here last week?
00:06:55
Speaker 1: No? You know, I don't want to, you know, I think I think we can continue apace until we know we're coming in for a landing, so that we can get some content going before all right, things fall apart. The center cannot hold things.
00:07:15
Speaker 2: I'm okay, may I No, I'm not.
00:07:20
Speaker 1: I How about this, kiddo, Let's do something fucking classy. Okay, we are gonna read some fucking Yates Yates.
00:07:31
Speaker 3: Yeah, bro, yes, are you familiar with No?
00:07:36
Speaker 2: What's Yates?
00:07:37
Speaker 1: Goddamn poet? Oh my god, Well, goddamn poet man. I'll give you some info on that so that you're not in the dark and ship. Okay, here we go. Check out my leg because I'm blind, old and blind. I don't I don't need William Butler Yates. He needs classes because he died a long time ago. He was a poet, let's see former Senator of the Irish Free State. He was an Irish poet, dramatist and writer. One of the foremost figures of twentieth century Lisa. He wrote shit like You and I just the same time. He's most known for the poem Pussy all over your Head Let's see classic William A. Butler Yates works Let's See. Yates poetry often explores Irish history and mythologysh and includes themes of art versus life, masks, and cyclical theories of life. Some of his most well known poems include The Lake, Isle of Industry, To the Rose upon the Road of Time, and to Ireland in the Coming Times. He wrote plays, often based uh He plays are often based on Irish legends. They are full of mysticism and spiritualism. Some of his plays include Ego Dominus Tuus, Sorry at the Hawks, Well, Wheels and Butterflies, and The Words upon the Window Pane. He wrote some prose as well, includes his autobiography called Autobiography, which includes reveries over childhood and youth, the Trembling of the Veil, dramatist personae, and the death of Singe. So I tell you all that because I'm going to read something.
00:09:48
Speaker 2: I'm like, Okay, you.
00:09:51
Speaker 1: Know everyone when I when I died, They're like, yeah, he did a bunch of shit, but he bo did clerks. I'm gonna I'm gonna read you Yates's Clerks, which is not to say it's the first thing he ever did.
00:10:05
Speaker 3: But it's the thing I feel he'll always be remembered for.
00:10:09
Speaker 1: You know what, This is all personal biased. I feel he'll be remembered for it. And there are other people who are like who might be like, bro, you don't even know the work of Yates. He did this, this, this, and fucking this one is like, you know, fucking fringe and shit at best. But I think it's fun. I think in a world where you're.
00:10:29
Speaker 4: About to record your album, yeah tomorrow and the day after correct, and you're gonna go into the studio tonight to as the musicians say, jam correct, there's a chance there's still a chance this could still make the cut. Oh okay, you know what I'm saying.
00:10:51
Speaker 1: My challenge to you as an artist, ready, yes, is to take this work, this public domain work, because it's like hundreds of years old, fucking sing it. I have homeboy, have lick and nuke. Put some fucking under this ship and nuke it and lick it. Oh my god, lick it. But you know, like fucking remember, you know, Janet Jackson had Jimmy jam and Terry Lewis and ship what asked their names? Lick and nuke. That's their production, the producer exactly their babyface names. This is a poem by Yates called The Second Coming. Okay you ever heard it?
00:11:36
Speaker 2: Should? I should? I have probably.
00:11:38
Speaker 1: There are definitely parts of this that may ring bells, all right, because they've entered common not so much common vernacular, but areas of the world that you would fuck with drama and so forth and such like. But one of my favorite pieces of literature, well my favorite poem, and you'll see it's not it's beautifull, but it's horrible. It's not beautiful, like, oh, this is fucking scary.
00:12:04
Speaker 2: Okay, I'm ready.
00:12:05
Speaker 1: You ready to receive this?
00:12:06
Speaker 2: I'm ready? Should I close my eyes?
00:12:10
Speaker 1: Oh fucking look at me. Let's make it awkward. Look me right, hold on, I'm gonna go fuck it. Wet my whistle.
00:12:18
Speaker 2: You need glasses so bad.
00:12:22
Speaker 1: I need some manners.
00:12:23
Speaker 2: You used to wear glasses. I did and now, and then one day you were like, fuck it.
00:12:28
Speaker 1: Would you like to hear the story? Because I just I will get to the Second Coming? Okay, I just told it to somebody recently. I forget who it was, but I wore glasses forever. If you look back at photos of me, you know, lots of them. The cover of my book Tough Ship, I'm wearing glasses.
00:12:47
Speaker 2: You're wearing glasses right there.
00:12:49
Speaker 1: Glasses everywhere I go make cop out and New York, and I work with Meghan Quinland, who's my assistant there, and then her chief job was to get me from Queen's Battery Park because, as somebody who was very familiar with the isle of Manhattan and getting into Manhattan and out of Manhattan by way of Jersey, Queen's a bit of a mystery. So in the beginning, I was like, you know, rather than me assume that I know what I'm doing with a local who will get me there back? So I was like, the office can drive me. So the line producer of the movie, production manager line producer was Mike. The production manager was Ray Ray Quentland. Mike and Ray we call them zusnapollocks. They both had like white hair. They're older than fuck man. They've been in New York film forever. Ray, Meghan's father, what used to be in the lighting. There's a joke about Quinland's in the film business. Meghan's last name, Ray's last name, Quinland, Meghan's brother, Ryan Quinland, Megan's cousins also fucking Quinland's and they all work in the film business. So the joke in the New York film and particularly on the set of cop Out was Mikey Tadrose, Mike Tadrose, not Mikey young Mikey, but big Mike Tadros would be like, fucking say Quillin on to set one hundred thousand people turning around. That guy is great. Him and him and Mike and right were just like true New York film ship.
00:14:28
Speaker 3: So, uh, Ray is just like U.
00:14:32
Speaker 1: I' me and my daughter drive you back. We were in Queens and whatnot, and I was like smoking weed, and I remember like I didn't know what to do about it because I was in an office that had like some open windows. But I was so brazen. I was like we were at Kaufnastoria Studios, and I was just like, well, I guess they should just know who I am. Just start smoking at the office. But periodically they would all come on the door and act like I wasn't smoking enough to be like, if you want to meet the production and I was like, hey, yeah, let's go on up, let's go on over you know, and so you know behind my bag, and particularly Raight was just like, we can't let this. We can't let the fucking director drive around New York. Ston't if he's gonna sit there and smoke. We we can't let him fucking drive. I know the boys very well, and when I say boys, they're fucking eighty year old men and ship. So Ray is just like, uh, my daughter, Megan, Megan's going to bring you home. And I was like all right. So Meghan starts driving, and Meghan, you know, while we're driving.
00:15:39
Speaker 3: At one point, I'm like, how are you?
00:15:41
Speaker 1: She's like good. I was like, this is your first job in film because his Gray's daughter, right, and she's like yeah, yeah, but everyone in my family works in film, and she's trying to be very formal black. And I was like, Megan, how long until we get to Battery Port? And She's like, probably be about like a half an hour. And I was like, all right, I'm gonna smoke weed. Is that okay? Like I'll open the window. She was like yeah right then and there I was like I like this fucking So I was smoking weed with Megan driving when we came to a crowded intersection at which there was a cop. And this is two thousand and eight, so we ain't even legal in New York and this wouldn't even be cool if it was, because you're not supposed to smoking cars.
00:16:25
Speaker 2: Oh my god.
00:16:27
Speaker 1: I just remember, like fucking I was like, Megan, move, move, move, move move, because the cop was coming right over to the car. Ship. I rolled up my window, but her window was down, and he was like, move this fucking car right in Megan's face. And she was like all right, right back in his face. And once again I was like I like this girl. And the car smelled like weed. She had no temerity, like she was in the position to be like yes, officer and like roll her window up or just roll the window up in like non and Ship.
00:16:51
Speaker 3: But she gave as good as she got right back to the car.
00:16:54
Speaker 2: I love New Yorkers.
00:16:57
Speaker 1: She's a long Island kid, and Ship you still wore the attitude our sleep. So we would drive like you know, to and from work. She would get picked me up. We'd go on the FDR, the FDR and the West Side Highway and whatnot. And I would always like grab a smoke before work and then grab smoke like afterwork. So our relationship wasn't the car, and that's how we got to know each other and stuff. And by the end of the movie, I was like, you know, do you want to like, do you ever want to get out of here? And she was in an age where she's like, I want to get out of here? And I was like, if you want to get back, if you ever wanted to go to the West Coast, you totally come work for me and ship and she did so her and her boyfriend at the time moved out here and Megan worked with us for like five years. During that entire time, just like on cop Out, I kind of surrendered driving like I just gave the wheel to Megan, and Meghan drove literally everywhere, and.
00:17:51
Speaker 2: So I wish somebody else had the wheel. Now, my god, drive like.
00:17:56
Speaker 1: A fucking now, I drive like it. Now, I drive like a vengeance, like you won't give me Meghan, and then I'm gonna drive myself to death.
00:18:04
Speaker 2: It's so fat.
00:18:05
Speaker 1: After Meghan Ashley. But after Ashley, that's when I was like, well, I guess I'm gonna drive myself again and stuff. But so while I was driving with Meghan, there's no need to wear glasses. The only reason I needed glasses was for distance seeing. I'm near sighted, which means I could see everything real clearly in the in the foreground, deep distance. That was the only time I need glasses and the only reason I needed to see. Like lights at night, signs during the day totally fine, but at night I would have to squinch it. Since I wasn't driving, that was no longer a factor. And then after Meghan like and Ashley were gone like and I started driving again, I didn't need my glasses.
00:18:44
Speaker 3: Like. I'm not saying my eyes fixed themselves.
00:18:46
Speaker 2: You just said that you could that you couldn't see far away, but you could see up close. But yet you could not. The print on the phone was very constantly. You have to take a picture of something and zoom in to just fucking see it. Actually that is that does not mean that you can see crystal clear.
00:19:11
Speaker 1: When the writing is very small. I don't.
00:19:13
Speaker 2: I bet you have a really bad vision. To be honest and give me some I'm gonna look at it, okay, Well you know everything in here?
00:19:28
Speaker 1: Read read that which one with a song in my heart, Father Dave, Oh come all you faithful, Holy night, silent night, you can take it back, but just stop waving it so I can. And now tilted in because you've tilted it towards the door. Now look at it. What I need, what you need to do. You're like holding the back here. I'm like, okay, So anyway, that's why I don't work glasses.
00:19:57
Speaker 2: I don't need the man, but you need to go see the eye doctors up.
00:20:02
Speaker 1: I have to turn this up at all, maybe, but I don't think I'm have to open this up. Here we go, man, remember Yates.
00:20:10
Speaker 2: Yeah, going back to that Oirish. Don't read it in an Irish accent. Please, don't always.
00:20:22
Speaker 1: No, please, the Second.
00:20:24
Speaker 2: Coming you can read it in your New York accent, though I like it.
00:20:28
Speaker 3: It's funny, turning and turning in the widening gyre. The falcon cannot hear the falconer. Things fall apart, the center cannot hold mere. Anarchy is loosed upon the world. The blood did and tide is loosed, and everywhere the ceremony of innocence is drowned. The best lack all conviction, while the worst are full of passionate intensity. Surely some revelation is at hand. Surely the Second Coming as it had the second coming hardly of those words out when a vast image out of spiritus mundy troubles my sight. Somewhere in the sands of the desert, a shape with lyon body and the head of a man, a gaze blank and pitiless as the sun is moving its slow thighs, while all about it real shadows of the indignant desert birds. The darkness drops again. But now I know that twenty centuries of stony sleep were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle. And what rough beast its hour come round at last slouches towards Bethlehem to be.
00:21:45
Speaker 2: Born God there that sounds like fucking can't follow be thy name by iron maiden bush?
00:22:05
Speaker 1: Could they? Man? Why not have fucking looking nuke? Fucking Oh my God, produce the ship such a good when the.
00:22:17
Speaker 2: Dark?
00:22:18
Speaker 1: When I don't think so. But here's a recitation. Let's see what it sounds like turning in the wide Ji.
00:22:26
Speaker 2: I mean no one, I was not even.
00:22:34
Speaker 1: Somewhere. The dude who did it is like the hell I can read as good as the next guy. What the fuck? Man?
00:22:43
Speaker 2: That's that's metal? If I've ever heard do you know what it's about you said some folklore, right.
00:22:52
Speaker 1: Well, I mean just didn't listening to it. What was it about to you? I mean.
00:22:58
Speaker 2: I would need another reading.
00:23:01
Speaker 1: I'm happy to do it, happy to give it. Everyone's like, are they they just.
00:23:06
Speaker 2: Doing it two times?
00:23:08
Speaker 1: Are you know? They just read poetry on the fucking show. It's unbelievable this one.
00:23:14
Speaker 2: Can you do it in a New York accent?
00:23:16
Speaker 1: Though? Let me see.
00:23:19
Speaker 2: Channel ra.
00:23:22
Speaker 5: Ting hey turning around, towing around, Hey, Hey, turn around, turning and turning in the widening giant of Falcon.
00:23:34
Speaker 6: Can I here the falcon okay, tings fall apart in center? Can I hold mircas loose upon in the world, and the blood dem tide is loosed, and everywhere the ceremony of instance is drowned. The best black wall conviction, water worst are full of passionate intensity. Surely some revelations at a hand, Shirley, the second comings at hand, the second coming Hardly are those words out When a vast image, out of spirit this Monday troubles my sight. Somewhere in the sands and a desert, a shape with a lion party and the head of a man, a gaze blanking pitiles is the sun is moving its slow ties, while all about it real shadows.
00:24:26
Speaker 1: Of the indignant desert boyds. Almost done for you. The darkness drops again. But now I know that twenty centuries a stony sleep were vexed to nightmare by a rocking cradle.
00:24:45
Speaker 6: And what rough beast, it's our come round and last slouches towards Bethlehem to be born.
00:24:56
Speaker 1: God damn William button.
00:25:00
Speaker 2: Uh, it's infinitely more powerful the second time. Oh my god, Wow, that was what what a treat that was?
00:25:11
Speaker 3: Why are you talking about my performance?
00:25:13
Speaker 2: Your performance?
00:25:15
Speaker 1: All right? Well, you know, thank you?
00:25:17
Speaker 2: That was that was everything I needed. Thank you?
00:25:21
Speaker 1: So what is it to you?
00:25:24
Speaker 2: What a good question? I mean that was a little distracted in the second.
00:25:30
Speaker 1: What you didn't parse that all out through that thick accent? You know, I couldn't boids desert boids.
00:25:40
Speaker 2: Do you know that? I actually have a really hard time understanding accents, non American accents that way.
00:25:48
Speaker 1: Stare people what I've seen your own accents? You do this, You're looking at their lips and you're like.
00:25:54
Speaker 2: That is not but trains Boddy me trying to watch. To be fair, I can't all watch it without captions.
00:26:05
Speaker 1: Aren't el a fan of the band Kneecap.
00:26:08
Speaker 2: I love Me Cap.
00:26:09
Speaker 1: Have you seen the movie?
00:26:11
Speaker 2: I have not seen the movie night. Did you watch it? How was it?
00:26:15
Speaker 1: Your mother loved it?
00:26:16
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I need to fucking watch it.
00:26:19
Speaker 1: She got very like, like suspicious, how do you know this movie? That was like, I don't know, but she was like, where'd you because I was like, ohne Kap. I was like, this is fantastic. So we're watching it like twenty minutes because it's got like, you know, politics, Yeah.
00:26:39
Speaker 2: It's all about politics about Orel.
00:26:41
Speaker 1: And she had thoughts and oh, yeah, no wonder she Oh.
00:26:44
Speaker 2: My gosh, so they're so political.
00:26:48
Speaker 1: Very so she was like, how did you hear about this? I said? Scott Scott Moser said this was his favorite movie the year. He loved Me Kap the movie, talk about the movie. But then I said, I was I callowed that up. She knows her song? She knows that's the.
00:27:14
Speaker 2: Dog's new song, paws.
00:27:20
Speaker 1: Wait.
00:27:21
Speaker 2: Can I say one side thing?
00:27:23
Speaker 1: Yeah?
00:27:24
Speaker 2: Today, Mom said that you could wear one of Wacky's ears after she passes as a hat. I could somebody could want that. I don't know, but that was a conversation that was today.
00:27:40
Speaker 1: That's not what I When I think of Waki and I think about Wacky passing, the first thought that inches my head is not like her A very jaunty chappe. How you feeling?
00:27:56
Speaker 2: Oh my god, Mom would love that, shooking.
00:27:58
Speaker 1: Her temperature holes every day.
00:28:02
Speaker 3: Because I can't wait to where the hat lucky.
00:28:05
Speaker 2: Anyways, that's a little look into how fucking weird I am my mom.
00:28:13
Speaker 1: Anyways, what was the question for.
00:28:19
Speaker 3: Nap knee Cap? Then I told her Harley likes this band very much.
00:28:24
Speaker 2: Thank you. So you were part of the narrative, including.
00:28:27
Speaker 1: That's where we see you as the daughter of Jennifer Schwabach. Like most of the time, it's always me like a big you're a big billboard for like, yeah, I'm Kevin Smith's daughter, and whether you you don't even try and you just are. But every once in a while, like it's a billboard at night and the lights come on and the lights are like and Jennifer, oh.
00:28:51
Speaker 2: My god, it's like no, it's like in the corner of my Kevin Smith is my dad billboard and there's a little dark section that lights up well only on the every hour.
00:29:04
Speaker 1: At night when things go.
00:29:06
Speaker 2: Dark, Yes, like five nights after Freddy's.
00:29:13
Speaker 1: It's the fucking picture remember the picture from last Christmas?
00:29:18
Speaker 2: Oh my god, she never knew about that, Shue.
00:29:21
Speaker 1: I still never figure that out.
00:29:22
Speaker 2: It's a picture we make fun of a mom anyways.
00:29:27
Speaker 1: So wait, what was what was the kneecap? So she loved the flick and how you were with the little neon on the billboard that lit up in that moment?
00:29:40
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, because I wanted to be included. Your pomo show was showing.
00:29:45
Speaker 1: And that does not come for me. I don't feel fomo for anything. I don't think. I don't think I every one people tell me about a good time like I used to when I was a kid, Like you know, my friends would be like, we're going to do a thing. I just found an old dass journal entry. I gotta find it and where was it?
00:30:01
Speaker 2: Is a emo?
00:30:02
Speaker 1: Oh I'm so proud of myself because like I, I want to watch The Hunt for Red October on laser disc with Brian Johnson, but Brian wants to go do something way more fun instead with Ed and I have to write a whole diary entry about you know, I felt.
00:30:28
Speaker 2: Oh my god, I.
00:30:30
Speaker 1: Wrote this was me. I was so when I read it, I was cringing because I was like, Jesus, he's trying so hard. He wants to matter so bad, he wants to be relevant. He's creating his own language, he's trying to create words. Thank God I met Jason Muse so that I can steal snoogans the movies, because here's what I wrote. I'm feeling kind of moky, moky, no idea, no idea in the course of this, in the course of this thing that's your song, I'm feeling kind of mokey. It's gotta be sadder, it's.
00:31:11
Speaker 2: But but I'm feeling moy mokey.
00:31:15
Speaker 1: Those well, we don't want to steal their song. You gotta get a new composition, man, have a bunch of different tracks.
00:31:20
Speaker 2: Can't what I'm feeling kind.
00:31:23
Speaker 1: Of It's gonna be like, it's gotta be this, but I'm feeling mokey. But I'm feeling mokey. Living life in low key, but I'm feeling mokey. I talk about how I'm basically the whole piece is me realizing that normally I would be saddened by this sort of thing, but I'm not because I've channeled it into more creative thinking.
00:32:00
Speaker 2: Yeah for me, Good for you.
00:32:03
Speaker 1: So I don't feel I don't. I don't feel like fomo. Like I like, sometimes I'll see I don't. Somebody's doing a thing and I'm like, oh, I want to be doing that, and then I just go to work.
00:32:15
Speaker 2: Oh that's what I was going to say.
00:32:17
Speaker 1: I was like, makes me go to work. But rather than feel fomo, which is like a complete waste of time, I put that into I'm gonna.
00:32:26
Speaker 2: About knee cap for one second.
00:32:28
Speaker 1: You did? You were like that whole story didn't even have me any where. I got knee caps too, but I did. I told her. She was like, and this is what she said this morning about the move. She's like, I'm still thinking about bless you. I'm still thinking about that move as I yeats. That's a true story. Those dudes are real, Like, those are the real dudes. Those are real rappers. She's like, they're very good. Oh yeah, she's I gonna say that about many people, especially white people, should go. But they're very good.
00:32:55
Speaker 2: Aren't they really really good?
00:32:57
Speaker 1: That's what she said. But aren't they I've been around the world, so I knew they were.
00:33:02
Speaker 2: Good, but I've been around.
00:33:05
Speaker 1: She was like, Oh, who knew that white people could wrap as well? I mean, it's one day she'll discover eminem as well. But she was very But they do they fucking they could drop a hot fucking sixty rap.
00:33:16
Speaker 2: Is like all about like the best stories, and they just have so much to say politically.
00:33:22
Speaker 1: She was crying this morning as she spoke about it. She got emotional really talking about their like, wow, to save their language.
00:33:30
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's wow, mom. All that makes me.
00:33:34
Speaker 1: Proud that she I gotta admit she was feeling a little mooky.
00:33:38
Speaker 2: She's feeling that's really beautiful.
00:33:43
Speaker 1: But yes, uh, the movie is beyond I feel.
00:33:48
Speaker 2: Like a fake ass fan right now for not having in the movie.
00:33:52
Speaker 1: There's a fifty three year old lady who's like, boys are nice. I saw the movie.
00:33:57
Speaker 2: I really really am behind. I just saw Wicked, like two weeks late.
00:34:02
Speaker 1: You see Wicked?
00:34:03
Speaker 2: Yeah, I saw Wicked. It was great, very long. Yeah. I do exist in the belief system of movies being under two hours.
00:34:15
Speaker 1: You're talking to mister ninety minutes or less. I make movies like I fucknutes or less.
00:34:22
Speaker 2: God, please please.
00:34:26
Speaker 1: Yes, I'm with you.
00:34:28
Speaker 3: But that being said, you know, wait, did you see it?
00:34:32
Speaker 1: No?
00:34:32
Speaker 3: I saw it play.
00:34:34
Speaker 1: Well yeah, but here's what we have. It plays. You know. I own a movie theater and it's just back. So I was like, let's watch Wicked. But then we never got a chance because fucking activity activity.
00:34:47
Speaker 3: So I am buying tickets.
00:34:52
Speaker 2: To see Wicked and watching it.
00:34:56
Speaker 3: Because I've got me screw screen.
00:35:00
Speaker 7: Oh wow, wow, wow, you were.
00:35:04
Speaker 3: All just there ain't even more screeners.
00:35:07
Speaker 1: There's a whole oscar app so you click on it and all the movies are there.
00:35:11
Speaker 2: The thing is that everybody's like, you have to see it in imax.
00:35:16
Speaker 3: There you don't, I don't, you don't.
00:35:19
Speaker 1: I guess nobody. Nobody tells me what to do. Point in the last thirty years of my life, independence, independent artists, I'll do it.
00:35:26
Speaker 2: Keeps telling me IMAX.
00:35:27
Speaker 1: I in a movie theater. I'm doing my part for exhibition and IMAX.
00:35:31
Speaker 3: We ain't got that at my movie theater. And we have uncomfortable seats.
00:35:34
Speaker 1: That's what we offer. I was just back there, back East Forst Podcastle Cinemas event. But I wasn't just back there for that. Lara, who did our costumes on the four thirty movie Lovely Laura. She who like, I ain't take anything away from Laura. The costume job is hard. Costume job in a chem Smith movie, well there it was. It was think about most of my movies.
00:36:04
Speaker 2: I guess it's all like one outfit. Yeah, that's so funny.
00:36:08
Speaker 1: It's kind of their action figures. I put them in one outfit. Believe in that. So that way, when I make a figure later on, people know what movie I'm talking about a lot of wardrobe changes.
00:36:18
Speaker 2: But then that means that the outfits have to be fine.
00:36:21
Speaker 3: Exactly, But you know, it's like you're you'll, you'll be done.
00:36:25
Speaker 1: Colleen, Colleen, you had more wardrobe changes in Yoga Hoss than most people have in Kevin Smith movies. Because you guys were teenage girls, so you were a gym class outfits, your school uniforms, your ada AD's, and then you had since most of the adventure takes place over the course of one night, you were in one outfit for most of the movie, including the poster. Then that outfit changes as well.
00:36:54
Speaker 2: That's so wild.
00:36:55
Speaker 1: Yeah. So anyway, large did some great job of the movie. I was like, hey, man, can you do a Santa Bob outfit for me, and so she pure, that's.
00:37:02
Speaker 2: What you did this weekend?
00:37:04
Speaker 3: You did you not see my outfit?
00:37:06
Speaker 2: I hear that you love your outfit.
00:37:08
Speaker 1: I brought it home. I just wear it now.
00:37:10
Speaker 2: I hear that you love it.
00:37:12
Speaker 1: It is lovely. She did such a great job.
00:37:14
Speaker 2: I saw a picture. I think I saw a picture.
00:37:17
Speaker 1: I'm sure you a hilarious picture of me. So, because you know, I did, I played Santa at Jane Soundbob Secret Stash and we had the chair and people sat on my lap and we took pictures and ship. But this we got three legit children, including a baby.
00:37:37
Speaker 2: But you love babies.
00:37:39
Speaker 1: Look at that kid. He's like, this is the worst idea. Why did I do this?
00:37:47
Speaker 2: What the fuck's so funny? Oh my god, you babies make you uncomfortable.
00:37:52
Speaker 1: I really, I'm not a baby's guy.
00:37:55
Speaker 2: You're really not a baby's guy.
00:37:57
Speaker 1: And they and the dude had zero problem. He's like, here you go. And I was like, oh, we're doing this now. I thought he was gonna be sitting with me holding the baby.
00:38:04
Speaker 2: That's so oh my gosh, you're spread eagle in that photo.
00:38:09
Speaker 1: That's that's my Santa spread.
00:38:13
Speaker 2: Snow there's a video of a fan handing Ariana Grande their dog like outside of like a wicked press event, and she's like, oh, you're getting meet your dog. Like she's like what. And that's you with the baby.
00:38:30
Speaker 1: Around Grounde like everyone loves her, Like you're you could do nothing wrong. Right now, you're Calinda, some man's made a dog.
00:38:37
Speaker 2: I'm biting the dog, the remanding me a dog.
00:38:44
Speaker 1: That movie is doing very well. Yeah, I look forward to to uh seeing the flick itself. But I love that.
00:38:53
Speaker 2: It's cool, it's fucking it's just amazing.
00:38:57
Speaker 1: I was trying to sell Ernie s Podcastle Keeper Ernie o'donald It's like, fucked out. I am watching that shit. I was like, bro, you don't get it. This is like I said, we were raised on Wizard of Oz because we didn't have anything like you had, you know, Disney Channel and DVDs and vhs. We didn't have kids programming really aimed at us very much. So you know, once a year they showed me. Twice a year they showed Wizard of Oz. And again, we had no video stores who couldn't just go rent Wizard of Us. So every time they put it on TV. It was a big, like fucking deal and kid World where it was like, oh my god, they're gonna show Wizard of Oz again. Even if you weren't a fan, it was like something for us at night on television. So we fucked with that movie all throughout our childhood. Whether we liked it or not, it was just something that did. So I was like, on that level alone, this is like the secret Origin of Wizard of Oz. And it's got Easter eggs galore and the fucking cowardly Lion's tail shows up. Ten Man's in it, Scarecrow's in it, and ship and it's all about like, I think this is how I define it. Because he's like, well, I don't give a ship is they're all singing. I said, yeah, he was going to like that. I was like, you were in Greece. You played fucking Danny Zeco. He's like, that's different. I said, let me tell you, dude. I said, this is like Cobra Kai. Remember how Cobra Kai reframes Johnny as the hero.
00:40:26
Speaker 2: I haven't watched, but okay.
00:40:28
Speaker 1: This is what I said to him.
00:40:32
Speaker 2: I actually haven't seen the show, so fucking rude to me.
00:40:37
Speaker 1: He was like, yeah, I was like, that's what this is. This is all about how the wicked witch at the West wasn't so wicked. It's true she was fired.
00:40:45
Speaker 2: What's your favorite.
00:40:45
Speaker 1: Song in in?
00:40:47
Speaker 2: Uh?
00:40:47
Speaker 1: Define gravity?
00:40:49
Speaker 2: But yeah, I mean, I mean, I mean yeah.
00:40:53
Speaker 8: And nobody in all of us, no wizard that there is or us is ever gone up?
00:41:03
Speaker 1: Bring me jump in with help you happy?
00:41:14
Speaker 2: Oh my god, that was really good.
00:41:16
Speaker 1: So good. I like that popular is also great to happy. I hope you're happy.
00:41:27
Speaker 2: Oh my god, so good? So figh what is it?
00:41:31
Speaker 1: What's the other line where she's like, oh, that don't make me. I don't want to cry. So if you so, and you want to find me, look to the Western skies.
00:41:46
Speaker 9: As someone told me lately, everyone deserves a chance to fly. And if I'm flying so low, at least.
00:41:56
Speaker 1: I'm flying free. Come on.
00:42:00
Speaker 4: All that is popular is also great?
00:42:07
Speaker 2: Is insane to be you?
00:42:09
Speaker 1: You?
00:42:10
Speaker 2: I don't want to be pop you?
00:42:13
Speaker 1: And also I love if I define gravity? But what's the song is there that is? Was is ever? Well? It's just so awesome because she gets so fucked over by the system and then she.
00:42:34
Speaker 2: Figures out she really it's so and.
00:42:37
Speaker 1: It's also like I don't want to. I don't want to, Oh my god, but the notion of like that, that whole that's the end of the first act in the show, and that's the end of the first half of the movie and.
00:42:48
Speaker 2: Ship they yeah, the first movie.
00:42:51
Speaker 1: They stretched it to two hours forty five minutes, which when you see the musical, all of it is two hours. But to end on that fucking brilliant, so good.
00:43:02
Speaker 3: Also, that'll make motherfuckers come back next year.
00:43:05
Speaker 2: You're gonna be crying.
00:43:07
Speaker 3: Up a storm during the dance.
00:43:09
Speaker 2: During everything during it's there's an animal rights like underlying story too.
00:43:17
Speaker 1: There wasn't the music as well.
00:43:18
Speaker 2: Fucking nuts.
00:43:20
Speaker 1: Mark Bernard and who had seen the show, but he's like, I didn't remember it, Like was balling at the dance scene while she's dancing no music. He was just like, it's one of the saddest, most heartbreaking things I ever seen.
00:43:33
Speaker 2: Oh my god, it's so it's wow, wow.
00:43:37
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a fucking fire show.
00:43:39
Speaker 5: It's so good.
00:43:41
Speaker 1: What's the song again where they're like.
00:43:47
Speaker 2: For good, for good, Oh, he crying crying such a good song.
00:43:54
Speaker 1: Did you have any interesting I wanted to?
00:43:57
Speaker 2: He's so theory right now, so beautiful. Yes, I do want to see my Wanta too. I haven't yet, though I.
00:44:05
Speaker 1: Have yet to see my on a one.
00:44:07
Speaker 2: You haven't.
00:44:09
Speaker 1: I'm sure you got to a certain age. Like I stopped watching the.
00:44:12
Speaker 2: Disney's so good, It's so beautiful. I love Malana.
00:44:16
Speaker 1: I saw the opening.
00:44:25
Speaker 2: I knew what you were talking about, though.
00:44:28
Speaker 1: What is the name of that song? I'm taking a boat out on.
00:44:36
Speaker 2: Those are the lyrics, but good filling, filler lyrics.
00:44:39
Speaker 1: What's happening in the scene.
00:44:40
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's kind of just music description.
00:44:43
Speaker 3: My musical would be a series of action, if you will.
00:44:46
Speaker 1: I'm standing behind a counter. I quick stop selling smoke feeling bokekie. Oh my god?
00:45:03
Speaker 2: That you also sing that at the same performance.
00:45:07
Speaker 1: Where are you.
00:45:09
Speaker 2: Do your performance? From the School of Rock. You're an impersonation. So after that, then you sing that song?
00:45:20
Speaker 1: What is her? What was hers again? This?
00:45:24
Speaker 2: Oh wait, no, no, that's Lawrence. I was about to do Lawrence's yeah, And he's like pointing.
00:45:31
Speaker 10: Yeah, yeah, oh so good. Yeah, And she's like, oh, oh my god, that's so good.
00:45:46
Speaker 1: Cuts you Like twenty years later, they're doing it their wedding.
00:45:51
Speaker 2: They should have hired you.
00:45:55
Speaker 3: I think if anything, maybe they could reach out to Jack Black.
00:45:59
Speaker 11: No, no, no, and now standing in for Jack Black. Not nearly as good, but we got a discount. Salad bout himself. Kevin James Smith, you ass all Smith.
00:46:12
Speaker 1: Sorry, this is my one man show in honor of you. Two kids get married. Love is a beautiful thing, and I celebrate that. Uh school of rock, nay, school of love. Oh my god, I just do it wordlessly, no.
00:46:32
Speaker 2: Music as she walks down the aisle.
00:46:37
Speaker 1: No, they're all seated. This is at the same reception. Shit, I wouldn't fuck up their wedding, but I would totally fuck up the reception.
00:46:42
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's fair.
00:46:43
Speaker 1: And after like twenty minutes of me doing that, like, I don't think I get for good minutes before somebody's like, and that was Kevin James Smith, You asshole, I'm not done. Hold on one more time.
00:47:02
Speaker 2: Oh god, so good, so good, for real, so good.
00:47:12
Speaker 3: Why did you think he was not done?
00:47:14
Speaker 1: Like, is there a number in his head that he's counting?
00:47:18
Speaker 2: Like they stopped him in the middle of one rotation and he was gonna malfunction. He had to finish me as fine, me as FuG Oh my god.
00:47:39
Speaker 1: All right, let's get out of here. But I will say this, it's good to laugh.
00:47:44
Speaker 2: It's good to laugh.
00:47:45
Speaker 1: Tough week last week. We had off last week because it was Thanksgiving number one, well not at all. We lost a dear friend, kids, a family member and all hands are on deck. Uh that that that whole week and especially that day. Sinny Cinnemon, Harley's bestest friend, and money in that order shuffled loose this great mortal coil of ours, and it was, as you could imagine, one fuck up a bummer. So there was a thought of like do we address it? And I was like this, hold on. I want to mention her for sure, to mark the moment, but we're not going to do a deep dive because both of us will fall to pieces. One.
00:48:34
Speaker 2: I'm barely holding on right now, but just want to honor her and just say her name and that I love Cinnamon so much.
00:48:45
Speaker 1: Then we will give her the beardless, dickless send off.
00:48:49
Speaker 8: All right, I release the beardless send off.
00:48:56
Speaker 1: When we lose someone greater or small legend, they go out, we give them the dance.
00:49:02
Speaker 2: The School of Rock impressions no music, absolutely silent, like.
00:49:10
Speaker 3: Why do you smile during the death Dance because we're honoring.
00:49:14
Speaker 1: Did you ever see fucking School of Rock? Yeah?
00:49:16
Speaker 2: Come on, we're trying to do it justice.
00:49:19
Speaker 1: That's the two kids in School of Rock, like the kick from My Carly no backup singer? You want? Who belts it out? Now? Does? Obviously the one who does this? Then who's the other one who's holding their arms? And ship? Why? Who? What's with the b boys? Stand? That's the boy who works the graphics? Like? Who are these? Are you sure? Did you see School of Rock? These kids are in School Rock? Are we talking about the same movie? Are you sure this isn't half Baked Rock?
00:49:47
Speaker 2: I fucking care.
00:49:49
Speaker 1: It's so accurate.
00:49:50
Speaker 2: The girl that belts it out, she belts it out so good?
00:49:55
Speaker 1: What little drummer boy? Your guitar hat? What again?
00:50:00
Speaker 2: Lawrence?
00:50:05
Speaker 3: It was tough to learn their names, but you could learn what they did in the movie.
00:50:09
Speaker 2: Yeah, we just know Lawrence because Lawrence is good at piano.
00:50:14
Speaker 1: I don't. I only know Lawrence because you said his name. But if you would have been because of what is the dude? If you would have been like the dude on keyboards, I wouldn't have known Lawrence, but I would.
00:50:24
Speaker 2: Have been like, yeah, you would have you would have know.
00:50:27
Speaker 1: I love how he pointed the audience, your son is very scaled.
00:50:31
Speaker 4: Wow.
00:50:32
Speaker 1: Yeah, he's like thanks or something. So's yours.
00:50:36
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's it. That's it, Lawrence. I.
00:50:43
Speaker 1: I was just talking about that movie with somebody recently where I was like, you jumping down in the aisles when you were a kid? Answered during the movie.
00:50:48
Speaker 2: I was like, I think it was me.
00:50:50
Speaker 3: You're somebody else?
00:50:51
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean I have sometimes I have similar conversations with people that aren't you. Really, I don't want that to trigger your bum but I was talking about you in your absence, but they, oh, you know who it was. This is so fucked up.
00:51:09
Speaker 3: So I was back East, as previously mentioned.
00:51:12
Speaker 1: Mister Black himself. I was back East as previously mentioned. But when I first landed on Thursday morning, I went to Philly instead of Jersey, and I went to w MMR, the radio station there there, to food drive and they were doing the parking lot of where the Eagles play, and they've been doing their food drive for like twenty seven years. Massive, So they pulled in two million pounds of food and a million dollars in donations of.
00:51:38
Speaker 2: The like four days that's amazing and.
00:51:40
Speaker 1: Goes to full abundance and they'll feed you know, hungry people in Pennsylvania like all winter and shit like that. So while I was there, they were like hey, man, Like I was backstage, they were like, the girls from Froggy are here. And Froggy was the band that does the song seven to eleven nachos on the Clerks three Central.
00:52:01
Speaker 2: That's awesome.
00:52:02
Speaker 1: It's like a power trio. They were like fourteen years old when they were recorded seven eleven.
00:52:09
Speaker 2: A cuteness.
00:52:10
Speaker 1: So the songs in the movie and like WMMR the President Steve their show, that's they were the first ones. They're like you got to hear the song by these like kids, these three girls, man, And so it wound up and that's how got New Clerk three. I never met them until backstage at MMOM, and you know they're all their kids. They're you know, probably their first or second year in college. They're like eighteen or Max nineteen or something. But one of them, I was like, how did you guys get started? And one of them was just like I was in school rock. I was like this girl, she was like, no in a.
00:52:45
Speaker 2: School, Oh my god, were you this girl.
00:52:51
Speaker 1: This okay, where's them? Where's the no? They were absolutely lovely ones like an art school student. I mean, and they're all they all do jobs, but they're also still in band. They had their own soda. Somebody made a froggy soda lemonade flavor. Those That's where I was talking about you in school. I see, I'm glad I remember that. Kids, You're like, that's how you're going to end the show.
00:53:27
Speaker 2: You got an extra little anecdote.
00:53:29
Speaker 1: Then some stories don't go yeah. And also we had to quickly pivot away from Cinnamon.
00:53:36
Speaker 2: Before Mary hard.
00:53:42
Speaker 3: And we had a little fucking wicked of our own mention it and then quickly move on.
00:53:48
Speaker 1: The poor one out the lake. Great yeah, man, the original Sin, the greatest, Sweetest, give me sweeties taboo.
00:54:03
Speaker 2: All right, let's cinnamon.
00:54:06
Speaker 1: Little shot? Is it a cram? Let's have a fucking funeral ceremony for Cinnamon here at the house. And I will just do shot a coup perfect. We'll have a picture of sitting, that picture of her like laying on the face down the air, put two candles next to it, and I'll be like, is it crame? All songs have nothing to do with rabbits kind of sexy, soulful songs.
00:54:36
Speaker 2: That's really what I wanted for cinnamon.
00:54:39
Speaker 1: It will be a dry eye in the house, true, because people will be laughing so hysterically, be like, just.
00:54:44
Speaker 2: Be crying because I'm like, why is he doing so beautiful?
00:54:50
Speaker 1: There it is, my friends, there's your beardless dickless moir for this week. That's the French version. Wah beardless more? Don't they just catch on this? And now? When uh? What's her name? Fucking Bratt Charlie. She was the host and they did a Montreal morning talk show called There it is My Friends. There's your beardless dick list for this week. Uh. If you want to continue the conversation, come over to that Kevin Smith club where Beardless dickless plus begins momentarily where you can see us do this, man, you can see me fucking get you were worried that you were gonna cry. Meanwhile, I'm like.
00:55:37
Speaker 2: Wicked, Yeah you cried.
00:55:40
Speaker 1: At the end. Are still fucking fred?
00:55:43
Speaker 2: I love you crying over Wicked.
00:55:45
Speaker 1: It makes me soft, you know what it makes me? It makes me baby dom. There was a couple that came to the Santa signing or the Santa sign, the Santa pop for the photo, and the one boy they made their own T shirts, and the boy's shirt said Tusk is Cinema and the girl's shirt said Kevin Smith is baby doll. And so I had to say. I was like, look, I'm totally flattered, but spare me the humiliation of having to asked my daughter what that means, like what exactly baby doll. She's like, baby doll is like an older man who's like completely safe and harmless and stuff, and you just want to be around him. And she's like kind of like Pedro. I was like, I thought Pedro was Zaddy. She's like, well he's also Zaddy as well, and she's like, you're not Zaddy, but you are a very baby doll. Oh, thank you. Time to go there is for baby doll, Kevin Smith Smith go have a beardless, dickless day, you baby dolls.
00:56:56
Speaker 7: This has been a podcast production podcast podcast using our mouths on you since two thousand and seven. Hey kids, did you like what you just heard?
00:57:09
Speaker 1: Well guess what.
00:57:10
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00:57:17
Speaker 1: Go sign up now.