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For over 25 years Proverbs 31 Ministries' mission has been to intersect God's Word in the real, hard places we all struggle with. That's why we started this podcast. Every episode will feature a variety of teachings from president Lysa TerKeurst, staff members or friends of the ministry who can teach you something valuable from their vantage point. We hope that regardless of your age, background or stage of life, it's something you look forward to listening to each month!
MEREDITH BROCK:
Hi, friends. Thanks for tuning in to the Proverbs 31 Ministries podcast, where we share biblical truth for any girl in any season. Every episode gives you a solid teaching to challenge your faith, followed by a conversation where we pull up a chair and unpack what it actually looks like in real life.
MEREDITH:
I'm your host, Meredith Brock, and I am here today with my co-host, Kaley Olson.
KALEY OLSON:
Hey, Meredith. How are you today?
MEREDITH:
I'm doing really good.
KALEY:
You're doing really good.
MEREDITH:
Yeah.
KALEY:
I wish everybody could see your cute dress. And just, it just looks so cute. But, you know, you can't see us from behind the mic, so some days we dress real cute, and some days we come in like a hot mess.
MEREDITH:
Yep.
KALEY:
Um, but I am so excited to be here today because we just stopped recording with our friend, Alicia Bruxvoort, and she shares a teaching about wisdom that honestly I need it for my hot mess days Meredith.And I need it for not just those days, but every day, because she challenged me so much that wisdom is not something that we compartmentalize just when a decision that we need to n-
MEREDITH:
That's right
KALEY:
that needs to be made. But she reminded me that wisdom is not what we know, but who we know. And just fits in so much with the heart of this podcast and what we do at Proverbs 31, and such a good teaching.
MEREDITH:
That's right. I mean, honestly, it is the mission of Proverbs 31, which is to help women know God, um, and His, and live out His truth. So I wanted to share, um, a story from one of our listeners, really just a comment. She said, "I found Proverbs 31 Ministries some years back, and every time I've encountered the hardships, struggles, and brokenness of life, I went first to God and His Word, then I'd go to Proverbs 31 Ministries.
MEREDITH:
I always found encouragement, practical tools to apply to my life. I cannot express how much this ministry has poured into my faith walk." And I just can't tell you how much that means to me- because that really is the heartbeat of what we do here at Proverbs 31. I hope that when you face something hard, um, a decision, whatever it might be, that you go to God's Word and then you say "Okay, let's, let's go over and see what kind of practical tools I can find at Proverbs 31."
KALEY:
Yeah, 100%. And we hear stories like this every single day. But I just, I have to make a confession here. As a staff member, I'm using our resources just like everyone else. And, like, when we sit and record these podcasts, Meredith and I aren't recording these podcasts as experts who know-
MEREDITH:
Right
KALEY:
exactly what the teacher's gonna say. We are blown away and taking pages of, upon pages of notes, talking about how it's impacting our lives, just like you guys are learning on the other side. And same thing with all of our other resources. And so on behalf of all of us at Proverbs 31, and as someone who has benefited from the wisdom that comes from this ministry, I just wanna thank our donors who make that possible.
KALEY:
Um, you're not making resources available, you're really making life change happen, and for women to move from knowing the truth to living the truth. And I wouldn't be the same without your generosity- and neither would our community. So Meredith, I think we've been sappy long enough about- How this ministry is impacting us but let's go dive into today's episode with Alicia.
MEREDITH:
Well, hello, Alicia. Welcome to the show.
ALICIA BRUXVOORT:
Thank you. It's great to be here.
KALEY:
Well, Alicia, we are so glad that you've joined us today, and for our listeners who receive our Encouragement for Today devotions through email, I just have to say that your name is probably very familiar because you've been serving our readers for quite a few years now. I don't wanna put you on the spot, but I will put you on the spot. Do you know how long you've been writing devotions for Proverbs 31?
ALICIA:
Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm pushing 13 years right now.
KALEY:
Oh my goodness.
MEREDITH:
Wow.
KALEY:
That's amazing. That's amazing. So if you've been subscribed to our Encouragement for Today devotions for the last decade and some change, then you have probably seen some words come through from Alicia.
KALEY:
But it's so fun, Meredith, to get to have these devotion writers on to be able to actually hear from them. You know, and hear their voice. And so I know there are probably a lot of people though who haven't, um, heard who Alicia is or read one of her devotions, and so I wanna take a quick moment and introduce you to who she is.
KALEY:
And so Alicia is a writer and a teacher from Michigan who serves on the teaching team at her local church and speaks at women's events across the country. She is a wife and a mom, and self-admittedly loves meeting new friends. There are two types of people, and I think I'm in one camp and you're in the other camp, my friend, because sometimes that wears me out.
KALEY:
But I think this is a good opportunity for me to ask you a question, that way I can put this in my back pocket for later whenever I'm in a big group of people and don't know where to start and how to not be awkward. So before we get into our teaching, what is a go-to question you like to ask when you're getting to know someone?
ALICIA:
Ooh, that's so good. Well, I have a lot of them, but I was thinking about this this morning. I just have a go-to question right now that I ask whether I'm just meeting someone or maybe it's just around the dinner table at night, but I love to ask people, "What is bringing you joy right now?"
KALEY:
Oh, that's so good.
MEREDITH:
That's a really good question
ALICIA:
I feel like so often we just don't pause to answer it. Like, I think most of us could name it, but we don't always slow down enough to name it, so. If you're new, I'd love to know that. If I've known you for decades, I'd still love to know that. It's a good go-to question.
MEREDITH:
I agree, Alica. I think that's such a good way to, it, to make us pause and verbalize- something that's bringing us joy is a good discipline. That's a really good discipline.
KALEY:
Yeah, it is.
MEREDITH:
Um, well, we are so excited to hear from you today. Um, if our, our listeners may or may not know this, but Proverbs 31 just released, um, a new Bible study called 31 Days Through Proverbs that you can get anywhere books are sold.
MEREDITH:
Um, but our friend Alica was one of the writers. . And, um, we couldn't help but invite her on the show to talk about, um, wisdom. . Because isn't that what the Book of Proverbs is all about? . And so we're gonna hand over the mic to Alica to teach us, um, something that she learned from, in, during the process of writing, um, and helping write 31 Days Through the Proverbs. So take it away, Alica.
ALICIA:
Thank you. Well, yes, I love the Book of Proverbs. And what's funny is when I was invited to be a part of writing this Bible study, I actually said out loud, "I don't really like the Book of Proverbs. It's not my favorite." And it took digging into the Book of Proverbs, and like, you know, lingering in it, and spending so much time in it to sort of transform how I felt about Proverbs.
ALICIA:
Um, and now it definitely ranks as one of my favorite books. I think the important thing to know about Proverbs is, um, it is a book that is a part of the wisdom literature that we find in the Bible. And, um, it's not a book of promises, it's not a book of stories, it's not a book of, um, you know, laws, God's laws.
ALICIA:
It is a book of wisdom and guidance. And it's a book that's based on principles. And so I think it's really important when we open the Book of Proverbs to know that. It's not like a promise and a guarantee that if we put every single bit of advice into place that our lives are going to turn out exactly how we want, because the reality is we live in a broken world.
ALICIA:
But it is an invitation to do life in God's world God's way. And so that's what I wanna talk about today, and I wanna start with a question. And it's just, you can answer it out loud if you're listening, um, or you can think to yourself, but I'm wondering, have you ever made a decision that seemed like a great idea until it wasn't?
ALICIA:
Like, have you ever followed your gut, your friends, your feelings? Maybe you were propelled by lots of caffeine or boredom or just some good old-fashioned untethered optimism, and then in hindsight you look back and you say to yourself, "What was I thinking?" I actually wish right now I could, like, have, uh, eyes to see a raise of hands, 'cause I really wanna know I'm not the only one who's, like, had this happen.
ALICIA:
So raise your hand if you're listening and, um, tell me I'm not alone in this. But the truth is that sometimes what seems like a great idea in the moment just ends up leading to a moment of great regret. And that's why I love Proverbs, because Proverbs acknowledges that sometimes our best ideas are not the best ideas.
ALICIA:
You know, when I was a teenager, I was really proud of my own great ideas. In fact, I was sort of known in our small town as the babysitter with great ideas. And I think that explains why the summer when I was 16 years old I got a call from a mom in our town who said, "I want to hire you to be a nanny all summer for my two tween-agers."
ALICIA:
So we weren't talking little kids. We were just talking the in-between age. And then she said, "All I want you to do is give them," and I quote, "A good old-fashioned summer." And believe me, I knew right away what she was asking. And I also knew I was totally up for the mission. Like, a good old-fashioned summer meant a summer low on screens, low on the couch time, high on activity, high on adventure.
ALICIA:
And I thought she picked the right gal for the job. So true to my word, I said, "Yes, yes, I can do it," and I showed up week after week all summer long with great ideas. If it was raining we did mudslides, and if it was sunny out we had water gun fights all through the neighborhood. And we had a lemonade stand and made lots of money, and promptly spent that all at the candy store.
ALICIA:
Maybe that wasn't wise. But we did it. And we went to the small town pool, and we made up holidays just to have a reason to celebrate. The kids were like, "Can we do this? Can we, like, make up our own holidays?" And I said, "Of course we can. It's a great idea." And then the last week of summer came, and any parents tuning in, um, probably know what the last week of summer can feel like.
ALICIA:
In fact, some of you might be listening to this and it's a very fresh memory, the last week of summer. There's this, like, growing dread that school is coming, or maybe not even dread, just kind of that anxious expectation. And then there's also a weird boredom that sort of says we've already done everything we wanted to do all summer long.
ALICIA:
And so this is where we were, and I was running out of great ideas. And those two tweenagers were just cranky and apathetic. And I remember, um, finishing lunch and looking at them and thinking, "We need an intervention, because I'm gonna spend the rest of my day either putting out fights or trying to pull these two off the couch, and that is not what I promised their mom."
ALICIA:
So I tossed out a few ideas. I didn't have any takers, and finally I said, "Hey, let's go on a bike ride." Of course they grumbled, because they were like, "We've taken so many bike rides. What is so great about a bike ride?" And that's when I said, "Well, I wasn't suggesting any bike ride. I think we should take an adventure bike ride."
ALICIA:
Okay, okay. Now they were slightly interested. "Well, what's an adventure bike ride?" one of them asked. And I said, "Well, an adventure bike ride is when we all put a coin in our pocket, and every time we reach an intersection, we'll flip that coin. Heads means we go left, tails means we go right, and if the coin falls to the ground, we'll go straight."
ALICIA:
Ah, suddenly they thought I had a great idea. So we packed some snacks and some water bottles. We hopped on our bikes, and we were flipping our coins all the way through town. We were weaving past the little small town ball fields, and the public schools, and the public swimming pool. And pretty soon our coins led us out past the town limits, and pretty soon our coins put us onto a gravel road.
ALICIA:
And we found ourselves biking through the corn fields and getting all dusty. And now you do have to remember, I'm gonna date myself, but I was not carrying a phone in my pocket that had a GPS in it. Um, yeah, we didn't have those things yet, so go ahead and guess how old I am. But it was getting really exciting because the sidewalks had disappeared, but it was feeling less exciting because we were just in the midst of gravel and corn fields, and I had no idea where we were.
ALICIA:
So we kept following our little coins until finally we were out of water, we were out of snacks, and I was wondering what in the world made me think this was a good idea. And suddenly we take a turn, and the nine-year-old boy's bike hits this loose patch of gravel. He goes skidding along the gravel, and he and his bike skid right into the ditch.
ALICIA:
And I stop and I peer into that ditch and I see this nine-year-old with bloody knees and bloody elbows, and his tears are actually looking brown because the corn dust has made us all so dirty that he's just crying these little mud drops. And he plucks that coin out of his pocket and he throws it in the air and he says, "Well, it seemed like a great idea."
ALICIA:
And I think sometimes our great ideas can actually lead us to a moment of great regret, and that is the moment I was having when I sat there in the middle of the corn fields with my two adventure-seeking tweenagers and not knowing what to do next See, it really is true that the choices we make determine the paths we take.
ALICIA:
And I'm not just talking about Flip the Coin adventures. I want you to know we made it safely home, thankful for a farmer who drove by with a truck. I'm actually talking, though, about what happens as we navigate the choices of our lives. Our decisions do steer our steps. And I think we're well aware of this when we're making, like, the big decisions.
ALICIA:
Like, who are we going to marry, and where are we going to live, and what school are we going to, and what job should we take? How many kids should we have? Should we have kids? Should we get married? All the big things, I believe most of us are aware, like, we need wisdom for that. This is a big deal. This is gonna steer my course.
ALICIA:
But maybe we are less aware that this holds true in the everyday decisions that we make moment by moment by moment. I read not long ago a study of mature adults. You can decide if you fit in that category of mature adults. Um, mature adults make 30,000 decisions a day. When you think about that, those aren't all big decisions.
ALICIA:
Those are decisions like should I send a text or not? Do I stop at the mailbox and chat with my neighbor or not? How am I gonna respond to that snarky comment? How am I going to react because I'm feeling so frustrated? When we make the decision to tell the truth or embellish it, to apologize, to exercise, to hold the grudge or to forgive, it's all these little decisions that end up steering the course of our lives.
ALICIA:
Not every decision is major or monumental, but over the course of time, the choices we make today determine the lives we live tomorrow. Our decisions steer our course. But actually, I think more significantly, the choices we make today shape the people we become tomorrow. Anne Frank said it like this: "Our lives are fashioned by our choices. First we make our choices, and then our choices make us."
ALICIA:
So the Book of Proverbs poses the question, how will you make the decisions that come your way every day? And after studying the Book of Proverbs, I found myself thinking, do we really have to leave the story of our lives to our best and our worst decisions? Or is there a decision we can make today, and the day after that, and the day after that, that will shape the story of our life tomorrow?
ALICIA:
Is there a decision we can make today that will actually shape who we become tomorrow? And friends, Proverbs has really good news for us. There is a way to navigate life that's even better than our best ideas. The Book of Proverbs calls it the way of wisdom, and thankfully, the way of wisdom doesn't hinge on our best ideas.
ALICIA:
So our daily decisions don't have to be as random as a coin flip or as good as the amount of caffeine we've had. The Book of Proverbs tells us that the way of wisdom is rooted in God's best ideas. The Book of Proverbs assures us that wisdom is available to anyone who's willing to learn. James actually said the same thing in his letter to the church in the New Testament.
ALICIA:
In James 1:5 he says, "Hey, if you lack wisdom, if any of you lack wisdom, you just need to ask God, and he'll give it to you generously." So there's no end to the wisdom we can ask for, but Proverbs 1:7 does make it clear that there is a place where wisdom begins. The beginning of wisdom, Proverbs says, is the fear of the Lord.
ALICIA:
A kind of a strange, um, idiom. It's not one that we use a lot anymore, so I don't know what goes through your mind when you hear that little phrase, the fear of the Lord. But actually, if you hear that and you're picturing, like, a preacher under a tent hollering about the wrath of God or a child hiding under his covers in his bed, then you don't have the right image of the fear of the Lord, because that phrase, the fear of the Lord, actually paints a picture of worship and obedience and reverence and trust, and it has nothing to do with being scared.
ALICIA:
The fear of the Lord doesn't mean that we're afraid of God. It means that we take Him seriously. The fear of the Lord means that we recognize God as He really is, all-knowing and almighty and all-powerful and all good and all loving and all merciful. And the fear of the Lord just means that we understand that God knows more and sees more and wants more for our lives than even we do.
ALICIA:
You see, the fear of the Lord, which we find scattered all, that phrase scattered all through the Book of Proverbs, is saying that wisdom is just not what you know. Wisdom is actually rooted in who you know. So the fear of the Lord is foundational to wisdom because wisdom doesn't start with right thinking.
ALICIA:
Wisdom starts with a right relationship with God. And when we put God in His rightful place, the fear of the Lord helps us to right-size God, and that is where wisdom begins. So just so everyone sort of has this picture of what we're talking about when we say the fear of the Lord, I wonder if you ever, like, gotten to the end of a really tough day, and you just feel overwhelmed by the, whatever the day held, the weight of the decisions, the, the way your circumstances went, and you're just feeling the weight of it, feeling overwhelmed.
ALICIA:
And then maybe right before you go to bed, you step outside to get the mail, to let the dog out, whatever you do, you step outside and you lift your eyes, and you see just the sky filled with stars. And as you stand there staring at the starry sky, suddenly you feel gloriously small. Has anyone ever had that before?
ALICIA:
And the weight of what you're carrying isn't diminished, but it's lightened. Because as you're looking at that starry sky, you realize how incredibly big God is. So the fear of the Lord right-sizes God. It doesn't mean that it shrinks our problems, but it expands our perspective. I mean, as you stand there at night, if you haven't done this in a while, try it tonight, and you look at the stars, you can think about if the God who calls the stars out by name every night knows your name too, then surely He is big enough and wise enough to help you navigate the daily decisions of your life.
ALICIA:
That's why wisdom needs to be rooted in relationship, 'cause if wisdom is just dependent on our best ideas, we don't even need God. But if the wisdom we're seeking is actually revelation from the God who made the world and is committed to our thriving in it, then we need the fear of the Lord 'cause we won't grow wise outside of a relationship with Him.
ALICIA:
So where do we start? To walk in the way of wisdom, we start by walking in relationship with God. Because ultimately, the fear of the Lord is what prompts us to trust that God's way is better than ours. God's best ideas are always better than ours. I think that's why the Living Bible translation of Proverbs 1:7 says, "How does a man become wise?
ALICIA:
The first step is to trust and reverence the Lord." The truth is we can't trust someone we don't know. How are we gonna trust God's wisdom if we don't know the heart behind it? So walking in wisdom doesn't actually start with what we know or what we do. Walking in wisdom actually starts with who we pursue.
ALICIA:
Do you wanna grow in wisdom? It begins with growing your relationship with the Lord. His voice is better than a coin flip. It's His voice speaking through scripture and His Spirit that points us to the way of wisdom. I think that's why Proverbs 1:5 says, "Let the wise listen and add to their learning." One of the best ways that we can start growing in wisdom is listening to God's words, and that might be opening your Bible and reading it, listening to Verse Five, listening to a Bible app.
ALICIA:
Also can be listening to the voice of His Spirit inside of us. So whether we're on the page of scripture or off the page of scripture tuning into His voice, we have to be listeners if we want to walk in wisdom But just knowing what God says actually isn't enough to guide us in the path of wisdom.
ALICIA:
Because knowing God's word and he- hearing his voice will definitely help us grow in knowledge, but in order to grow in wisdom, we have to do something with what he says. I think that's why Jesus says in the Gospels, "If you hear what I say and you do it, then you are like a wise man who builds his house on the rock."
ALICIA:
You see, wisdom isn't simply hearing God's word, it's heeding it, too. So for instance, if in the morning, um, I'm reading Proverbs and, and I read, um, that j- a gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger. So then I hear it. I'm listening to the voice of the Lord. But then I'm gonna close my Bible and move on with my day, and at some point during the day you can probably guarantee that somebody in my life is gonna push my buttons.
ALICIA:
And in that point when I'm feeling frustrated, if I respond with unkind or unnecessarily harsh words, then I actually haven't listened to the wisdom of the Lord. I'm not heeding to my learning, as Proverbs says. Because listening is both hearing and responding. But say that a little bit later, another person pushes my buttons, and at that point I actually remember what I heard that morning in scripture, a gentle answer turns away wrath.
ALICIA:
And this time I pause, and I drop my voice, and I take a deep breath, and I hold my tongue. And suddenly I am walking in wisdom, because I've made the decision, no matter what I'm feeling inside, to trust that God's way is best That moment, that decision at that intersection is only different because I didn't just hear, but I also responded to the truth of God's Word.
ALICIA:
So yes, yes, we need to get in God's Word. We can't walk in the ways of wisdom without hearing His voice, but we also need God's Word to get into us and get through us and to guide us, so we need to respond to His Word. It's so interesting that when you start to do some word studies on the biblical concept of listening, particularly the word listen as it's used all through the Book of Proverbs, it's, listening is so intricately related to obedience that it's really difficult to even separate the two concepts.
ALICIA:
So when the original hearers of, um, Proverbs would have heard the idea of listening, they would have totally known that we were talking about both listening and obeying. If hearing is the inhale, then heeding is the exhale. If listening is our inhale, then obeying is the exhale. That's what it means in Proverbs when God says, 'Listen, listen.'
ALICIA:
So wisdom demands that we don't just hear God's word, we actually walk it out. When my husband and I graduated from college, we moved to Salzburg, Austria to teach at an international school there. Our whole world just sort of flipped upside down. A couple of months in, there were a lot of things that were falling in place.
ALICIA:
We, um, were finding rhythms in our jobs, and we'd found an apartment to live in, and we'd had this crash course in the language, and it looked like we were functioning. But the whole problem was we were actually still really flailing. We were functioning maybe enough to get by, but we weren't flourishing because we just could not figure out how everyday life worked in this new place where we were living.
ALICIA:
Like, we could go to catch a bus at the end of the day, and it wouldn't be running, and we'd have no idea how to get home. Or we'd go to the grocery store after work, but they would all be closed, and we had no idea how we were gonna make dinner. Like, when do people buy groceries here? They didn't have these 24/7 supermarkets.
ALICIA:
I remember wandering the store thinking I could just pick up, um, a box of baking soda because they're all bright yellow, and surely I would be able to recognize it, but I didn't realize they don't even package things the same in different countries. So we found ourselves just overwhelmed, always low-grade overwhelmed, and not really understanding how life worked and not knowing how to get it to work.
ALICIA:
And then there came this day I'll never forget. I'd met a new friend at the cafe, and she spoke good English, and she had moved, um, to Austria years before. And as we sat down, she looked at me, and she pulled this yellow slip of paper out of her pocket, and she said, "I will never forget how overwhelmed I was when we first moved here, so I wrote down everything I could think of that might help you."
ALICIA:
And I just looked at that page of her scribbles, and I wanted to cry because it was just filled with all this practical advice for daily living. Things like, if you want fresh produce, you should buy it at the market on Saturday from the guy who wears a purple beret, or if you wanna catch the bus after 9:00, you need to take the blue line.
ALICIA:
All kinds of practical advice for those everyday decisions that were feeling overwhelming. I carried that piece of paper around for months, like stuck in my pocket, pulling it out, checking it, looking at it, but it wasn't like the instructions on the page that actually moved us from barely surviving our life to actually thriving in it.
ALICIA:
It was the fact that we followed the instructions. If I hadn't gotten out of bed on Saturday morning to go buy the fresh produce from the guy in the purple beret, beret, I wouldn't have food in my fridge on Monday night after work, and my life still wouldn't be working. So the key to wisdom that Proverbs keeps pushing us to acknowledge is that wisdom isn't just knowing God's ways, it's actually living His way.
ALICIA:
We've gotta hear the Word and heed the Word and live what we've learned. That's how we grow in wisdom I think it's actually amazing to recognize that God loves us so much He didn't just give us His Word and say, "Okay, now figure out how to make life work with all this wisdom." He actually wrapped the Word in flesh and sent it to Earth.
ALICIA:
His name is Jesus, and Jesus walked the way of wisdom perfectly all through this broken world, and His example shows us what wisdom looks like. And though the Book of Proverbs doesn't ever mention Jesus by name, every word points to Him, because wisdom is rooted in relationship. And when Jesus died on the cross and resurrected and went back to heaven, He didn't just say, "Good luck now.
ALICIA:
Try to remember how I did life and follow my example." He actually said, "I'm gonna send you my Spirit, and my Spirit will direct you in the way of wisdom. My Spirit will remind you of what I've said, and my Spirit will help you apply my Word to your life. My Spirit will walk with you." So Jesus doesn't just say, "I'm the way," He sends us His Spirit to show us the way.
ALICIA:
That's why wisdom is rooted in relationship. As we close, I just have been thinking about when I was a high school teacher and I was teaching a writing class. I remember giving my kids an assignment. We were gonna write about either the best gift you'd ever been given or the worst gift. And so to get everyone thinking, what we call pre-writing, we did a little activity where I put two columns on the whiteboard, and one said, "Best gifts," and another said, "Worst gifts."
ALICIA:
And I just let the kids come up and write their ideas down. We were just sort of brainstorming. And when we stepped back and everyone was done writing on the board, I noticed that there was the same answer in the column that said, "Best gifts" as there was in the column that said, "Worst gifts." Someone had written the word toolbox.
ALICIA:
And the boys who had written that on opposing sides kind of started a banter, and one was much louder than the other. And he was like, "Man, why are you calling the toolbox the worst gift ever? I mean, I use it every day. I used it yesterday to fix my mom's washing machine. I use it to fix my sister's bike.
ALICIA:
I use it all the time. How can you say that's a bad gift?" And the boy just kept going. He's like, "My dad gave it to me when I was eight years old. It taught me everything I know. I don't understand. Why are you calling toolbox a bad gift?" And then the boy who had called that toolbox the worst gift ever took a deep breath, and he looked at his buddy who was goading him, and he said, "Yeah, well, you just named the difference.
ALICIA:
My dad gave me a toolbox, too, but he didn't stick around to show me how to use it." You see, friends, we don't just have a God who gave us a toolbox of wisdom in the Book of Proverbs, in all of scripture. He didn't just give us His toolbox to walk in His ways through His world and say, "You figure it out." We have a God who gave us His Son and His Spirit to walk with us His way through His world.
ALICIA:
And by His Son's example and His Spirit's help, we can open God's word and figure out how to live the best life that He's made us to live, and we can figure out how life works because we have a good, good Father who's not only willing to point us on the way, but to actually walk with us on the way.
ALICIA:
Wisdom is rooted in relationship. We don't have to leave the story of our life or who we are becoming up to a coin toss. We have a God who is willing to show us the way and walk it with us. And the wisest decision we can make today is to say yes to doing life with the God who knows how life works best.
ALICIA:
So we pray Oh, Jesus, you are the one who not only walked out life in this world perfectly, in perfect wisdom. That you are the one who sends your Spirit to walk with us now, so we also can walk in wisdom. You know the weight of the everyday decisions we carry. You know the way we are desperate for guidance to steer our paths, and I thank you that your answer when we ask for wisdom is yes, yes, and you give generously.
ALICIA:
So give us hearts that are postured to intimate relationship with you. Show us what it looks like to walk with you in your ways, because we wanna be women who grow in wisdom, and we pray this in your name, Jesus. Amen.
KALEY:
Amen. That was, that was so good, Alicia. I think something you just said in your prayer was about how we are desperate for guidance, and I think the resounding thought that I couldn't get out of my head was just how my generation, I know for me, there's so much information we're constantly surrounded by.
KALEY:
Especially as moms and all that, we, we're going to so many sources that we're almost kind of afraid because- Yeah there's, it, the information doesn't stop. You know? And this- It doesI think the conversations that I'm having with my friends are just, "I need wisdom. I need wisdom. I need to know what to do."
KALEY:
But what you did was kind of flip wisdom on its head, and talked about like obedience isn't just what you need to say yes or no to. It's when you know God's word, obedience might look like not being anxious- when you wanna be anxious. But what I wanna ask you is, I think coming from really m- my own experience in the past and conversations that I have with friends are, okay, I know I love the Lord, and I'm sure there's a girl out there who is, who is asking this question, and she's saying,
KALEY:
"Alicia, I, I love the Lord. I'm walking with the Lord. I'm reading my Bible, but there was one time- I thought I heard him right. . . But I got it wrong. . And she, maybe she doesn'tShe's like, "Is God gonna course correct? Did I screw everything up?" Maybe she doesn't- really trust the Holy Spirit anymore, and she's like, "Is this my gut?
KALEY:
Is this me, or is this Jesus?" Like, I'm afraid, like, her heart motivation is not to stay stuck, but she's afraid to move forward. So can you just speak to that situation and that question- that that girl has right now? Um, what would you say to her?
ALICIA:
Yeah. Oh, it's so real. It's so real. Well, first of all, I think, um, yeah, I mean, I've been there. Um, just recently I had a, um, a, a season of life where the Lord, it felt like He had so, so clearly led our family in a direction, and, um, it landed us in a place that we totally didn't expect. And it was a really painful It landed us in a place of grief instead of what we thought was gonna be just, like, this incredible season of joy, and, um, I, I asked all those questions.
ALICIA:
In fact, I even said to a friend one day, like, "I mean, I don't even think I can hear from the Lord." Like . "What, what, did I imagine that whole thing?" And, um, she just gently said, like, "Listen, we, we have to remember that walking with the Lord, first of all, we have to be willing to balance the mystery of a big, big God um, with the reality of the life we're living."
ALICIA:
And so I even say, first of all, to that girl, just 'cause it didn't turn out how you thought- I n- let's not assume that the Lord wasn't in that. Yeah. And then for the person who's like, "No, I actually really did go my own way, and I, I just took the wrong turn, and I, I, and I justified it, and I made it seem like it was okay with the Lord, but now I can see in hindsight I made the wrong choice. Can God course-correct?" .
ALICIA:
Of course he can. I mean, this is the beauty of the fear of the Lord. It right-sizes God for us. . And a big, big God is not thrown off by a bad- decision that we make, right? . So I think so often what we need to remember about wisdom, too, is, like, I want it to be like a GPS, like a point on a map, you know?
ALICIA:
Like, put the address in and take me here.But wisdom is really more like arrows on a road. Or if you're a bowler, it's kinda like the bumpers, you know? That keep your, sort of that bowling ball from going off either side. And so often what we need to remember with wisdom is it's this accumulation of, you know, intersection after intersection after intersection.
ALICIA:
And we don't always have a Bible verse to pull out that answers the question of what should I do right now.You know? That's, that's not what happens. And so then we lean in that relationship of, like, what do I know of the heart of God? What do I know of the character of God? Who do I know God to be, both personally and in what I see in Jesus?
ALICIA:
And that's how I'm gonna steer my course. And then when we get off course, or when we land in places that we're like, "I really don't know how I got here," and it might be the Lord, 'cause sometimes he leads us to a desert. I mean, he brought Jesus to the wilderness for 40 days before he even let him step into ministry.
ALICIA:
Like- I don't wanna act like the desert was a wrong turn. But even in those spaces, then, it's so important to know the heart of the wisdom- that we're seeking. And the heart of the wisdom is the heart of God. . So then we might say to ourselves, like, "I'm in this space that I didn't know how I got here, and I don't, I sure don't like being here, and I, I want out of here, but what do I know of the God who is with me here?"
ALICIA:
And that's when we start to preach to ourselves who we know God to be. That in itself is wisdom. That's good. And so I have this thing I say a lot to the Lord, like, "If this is good in your eyes, it's not feeling good to me. But what I do know is you're a good God, and that I won't argue. And so if you're a good God, even though this doesn't feel good, would you help me to trust that you're in this working for good?
ALICIA:
Would you help me to trust- That you see a bigger picture than me. Yeah. I think these are just the honest conversations we get to have- with a God who didn't just give us a toolbox and say, "Good luck." . That said, "I'm right here teaching you how to use it." .
KALEY:
That's a good word for the thick of it.
MEREDITH:
Amen.
KALEY:
That is so good.
MEREDITH:
Truly, and I- I think what is so hard for us, uh, humans- or small-minded humans- to really grasp that is because I think we really, really want to, um, have all the answers now Um, know, be able to control the outcomes- so that we end up where we always wanted to end up.
MEREDITH:
And our, our tiny little human minds want it to work out that way when- the creator of the universe, , um, the one who knows us beyond how we even know ourselves, um- is so in love with us that He is saying, "No, no, no. I'm not just gonna give you a map." . "I'm gonna- I'm gonna hold your hand, and I'm gonna walk with you." You know? . "And I'm not gonna show you more than one step a- in front of you- because if you I know you- and I know if I gave you more steps than just the one in front of you- , you would let go of my hand, and you would run ahead."
MEREDITH:
You know?
ALICIA:
Yeah.
MEREDITH:
Now, He says, "And please, please don't let go of my hand. I wanna hold your hand- and I wanna walk with you." . I know for me it all, it comes down to, goodness gracious, y'all, I love a hack. Somebody sent me- Yeah.your, the, the most recent, like, this is how you should run your household hack. Um, here's how you can be more productive, all of those things.And that feels like- it feels like in my human self, feels like wisdom. Oh man, I'm being so wise in doing this. Look at me. . But really that is just like- getting smart. . It's just knowledge.
KALEY:
It's automating it.
MEREDITH:
Yes.
KALEY:
Wisdom is not automation.
MEREDITH:
Wisdom is, is relationship, Alicia. And I just love, I think this is such a rich, um, teaching. We, I think we oversimplify, we want to oversimplify what wisdom is, which is- how do I make this choice, um, when it's such - it is so much richer than that. And I, I really think your teaching today has, has, it has blessed me, and I- YeahI know it's blessed our listeners. . So thank you.
KALEY:
Yeah, yeah. Thank you.
ALICIA:
Thank you, thank you-
KALEY:
Thank you so much. Um, just thinking about all the moms in the cars, you know walking with their teenagers about how to do how to do life and how to make the right deci- Meredith, Meredith is nodding. If you could see my face right now. I know. I know, I know. But I think that, um, the, the more wise we grow, wiser? I don't know which it Sometimes I get confused with the grammar and which way-
MEREDITH:
More wise or wiser
KALEY:
the, the wiser we grow, um, the more we're able to share and guide that, um- wisdom with other, um, women and our children and the circles of, um, influence we have. And so I just, I'm so grateful for this teaching and to have gotten to learn from you on the podcast today, Alica. And friends, as we close, um- I just want to remind you and my own self that this message is one that we need to hear because speaking from one sinful human to another, we cannot be wise on our own. Just like we learned, we need Christ's wisdom to flow through us and to guide us, and that's what we're so passionate here about.
KALEY:
At Proverbs 31, every day we've got women who come to us through, let's say, our Encouragement for Today devotions like we talked about earlier, our First 5 mobile app, or who find us on social media, or listen to us on a podcast just like you're doing today, friends.
KALEY:
These women are searching for wisdom. They're looking for truth to help them navigate what they're facing, and every day God uses these resources to meet them where they are, and we're so grateful. And so with that, I wanna encourage you to do a few things as a next step as you guys continue to lean on Christ's wisdom and build a relationship with him.
KALEY:
First, there's a great brand-new study that we talked about at the very beginning of this show called 31 Days Through Proverbs that's available now. We encourage you to get that resource and let it be an anchor for you over the next month as you spend not only every day in the Book of Proverbs, but spend every day in God's Word getting to know what God says and build that habit.
KALEY:
And second, sign up for our Encouragement for Today devotions. They're free and every weekday and now on Saturdays, and you'll read devotions that speak right into the situations that you're facing from writers just like our friend Alicia and so many more.
MEREDITH:
That's right, and you heard her say it, guys. Those devotions are totally- free. Completely free, and we are able to do that because of the generosity of our incredible donors- here at Proverbs 31. Um, and when you give to Proverbs 31, you're not just making those, uh, Encouragement Today for free, um, for everyone- to access, but this podcast, the First 5 mobile app, um, and so many more things. And so I just wanna say thank you from the bottom- of my heart to all our incredible donors. Um, the m- this ministry would not exist- if it wasn't for you.
KALEY:
I agree.
MEREDITH:
So my friends, that's all for today. At Proverbs 31 Ministries, we believe when you know the truth and live the truth, it really does change everything.