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Faith and masculinity meet kingdom living to help Christian husbands rebuild their confidence and masculine strength, so they can enjoy attraction-filled and passionate marriages.
You want to live a life on fire and on mission.
You want to be filled with such conviction and drive that you stop caring about what ANYone thinks.
You want to face each day alive, authentic, and fully present in every moment: with your wife, kids, on the street, at the gym, at work.
You want to bring yourSELF to the table, and to stop bringing the watered-down, nice, what everyone wants version of you.
You want that self to be a man who is burning in passion for Jesus, unafraid to bring his kingdom to anyone in your path, no matter the cost.
You want to love the one in front of you without fear, without needing love back, and without reserve.
You want to experience God for real, to not just believe, but to KNOW that he’s got you and that he’ll show up on your behalf. That he’ll show up THROUGH you.
You want to get to the end of your race and say, “Yep…I gave it everything. Jesus, you know I’m all in.”
...And you want to know just how to get there.
Welcome to Man Warrior King. Congratulations. You are among the violent taking the kingdom by force. You are among the chosen, answering the call to rise above your self. You are in the forge being stripped down and strengthened—and you WILL rise stronger, solid, unshakeable.
You are a man. You are a warrior. You are a king.
Matt (00:01.728)
Is your desire to please God actually keeping you stuck? Do you feel like you can never make any progress and you're always worried about whether you're going to upset God or keep him happy or if it's his will, if it's not, that's what we're talking about here today. Stick around.
Matt (00:33.359)
Thank you for joining me again for another episode of the Man Warrior King podcast. I'm your host, Matt Halleck, and today I want to.
go into a topic that is a very important one in all of Christian culture. It's a very important one for men and women alike. But I'm in middle right now of launching my Masculine Husband program. And so the different mindsets and belief systems that Christian husbands in particular often carry with them into their marriage
I'm just front and center on my mind. And it is quite possible, even though it sounds so counterintuitive, that your desire to please God, your desire to stay in his will, your desire to honor him, to stay out of sin, to stay out of selfishness, all of this stuff, it
It's quite possible that all of those desires can actually lead you to miss his will.
They can actually keep you living in a small confined space rather than expanding your tent pegs and exploring the promised land that he has already given you and set aside for you to come and get.
Matt (02:11.265)
And I know that's a hard thing to wrap our mind around because what happens for us, we live in a church world that is very, very focused on not doing a thing unless it is for certain God's will.
And we don't want to overstep. We don't want to walk ahead of the God's timing, all of this. And so what that all often amounts to is inaction and passivity. But we don't even have to, you know, take ownership for that because what we call it is waiting on God. What we call it is
trusting his timing. What we call it is submitting to his will.
Matt (03:13.707)
because we have this unbiblical idea that God does everything himself, that he's the one who does all the actions that are worthwhile. And every now and then he chooses us to come along for the ride. And that's just plain old not how God works. And why is this damaging? So if you're a husband and maybe your marriage
is good, maybe it's in a bad place.
If it's good and you are living life in this passive mentality where you're not really doing much of anything, unless you, it's already been plopped right in front of you or unless you are hearing an angel come and talk to you about it, then if, if, if that's how you're living and your marriage is good right now, it may not stay good if you continue in that, in that lifestyle.
Now, if your marriage is not in a good place and you're still walking in that version of a faith, then chances are your marriage will continue to stay in the bad place and even get worse because here's the thing. Women are wired to desire a man who takes action and who goes and pursues something who is proactive, who's conquering.
That's what they're wired for to, be drawn to this kind of alpha energy. And now there's value in the beta character traits as well. The ones that are more kind and loving and gentle and everything like that. Those are needed to, to provide safety and security, but those are not going to get you to the end zone. If that's all you've got.
Matt (05:18.42)
We have to learn how to become men who exhibit the alpha traits of confidence and assertion and proaction and everything like that. But the problem is that we have a whole construct of theology that keeps us from doing this. And if this is how you are living your life, one thing that can really go wrong is you will end up praying.
and kind of just putting your head down and marching forward.
and just hoping and praying that someday down the line the miracle's gonna happen.
Matt (06:08.484)
If you look at scripture, most of the moves of God
if not in some sense of the matter, all of them, they come in partnership with a human.
Matt (06:30.251)
Even the coming of Jesus, you're like, well, no, people had nothing to do with that. That was all God. I would beg to differ.
The the advent of Jesus himself was not just God doing it all. He was he had to find a willing woman who would partner with him in this mission. He even had to find a willing man who would partner with this mission, but even aside from Mary and Joseph.
He had to use his profits for thousands of years to pave the way for the advent of Jesus. There was partnership with humans all along the way in the process of Jesus coming to earth. Another huge example is the parting of the Red Sea. Surely no man did anything with that. Moses was leading the people, but it was all God, right?
Not at all.
Moses told the people to stand still.
Matt (07:41.138)
Stand still. You're not going to have to do anything. The Lord will fight for you. Just watch. And in the very next verse, God rebukes Moses. He says, why are you crying out to me? And here's the thing. What's not written between the first and the second verse right there is I would imagine Moses starts crying out to God to pray to him because all we know, all we see written is that he was talking to the people.
And then very next thing God says, why are you crying out to me? So Moses probably began calling out to God, God, deliver us. God part the sea. Or maybe not. I mean, may not even had a grid for God to part the sea, but God, what are you going to do? All this. And God says to him, why are you calling out to me?
Matt (08:33.672)
What if in your marriage you keep on calling out to God, God, would you please change our marriage? Would you please change my wife? Would you please change me? Would you make me more confident? Would you make me more selfless? Would you take this away? Would you do that? We are always making a practice of calling on God and calling out to him and asking him to do everything. And we think that that's prayer.
And in one sense of the word it is, but when it comes to mountain moving prayer, that's not.
Matt (09:13.651)
So Moses is calling out to God and God says, why are you calling out to me?
Matt (09:21.448)
He says, tell the people to move forward. See, Moses had told them to stand still and God's like, no, that's not actually what I want. Tell them to keep moving forward. Forward meant into the water at this point.
Matt (09:36.978)
And he didn't say to Moses, then watch just as they're moving forward, watch what I do. It's going to be incredible. But that's how we perceive this. That's how we read it. That's how we imagine. It's not what God said. He said, Moses, tell the people to move forward and then you go ahead and raise your staff. And then Moses, by the way, go ahead and raise your other hand. And then he says, and go ahead and divide the sea.
The words that God uses are Moses, you divide the sea, and he's giving him the game plan for how to do it. Staff in one hand, other hand up, divide the sea.
And we're like, no, but most know you can't give a human the glory. You can't give man the glory. God is the only one who ever gets any glory. No, no, no, no, we can't, no, we can't do any of this. It's only God who can do it. I hear this stuff all the time.
Matt (10:43.261)
But it's right there in scripture. God told Moses to do it. Now did Moses, was he the only one involved? No. Because the very next verse, it says that God brought a very strong wind and God drove back the waters up to the stood up and wall. So I'm not saying that God's not doing anything. I'm saying that it's a partnership. And if anything,
We too often err on the side of, we can't do, we do nothing and God does it all. And if that's your stance as a husband in your marriage, you're going to be letting your wife down and you're going to be letting yourself down because you're not going to get where you want to go with your marriage.
Matt (12:01.292)
simply calling on God is not a complete game plan. And boy, that will get me called a heretic in a lot of churches and a lot of Christian circles.
But I'm telling you, God is waiting for you to mature, to step into your authority, your place in his kingdom. He's wanting to train you how to take action, how to position yourself so that as you move, you actually meet the supernatural power of the Holy Spirit. And the two of you together are seeing
supercharged results.
So.
Matt (12:54.607)
Okay.
So you're like, man, okay, I'm convinced. I gotta do something.
Now I just need to know exactly what to do. I need God to tell me what to do and I'll do it. And we still have this passive idea that my own thoughts and my own initiative are not good and they are definitely not God. It's just me operating as selfishness. It's me operating out of my own ambition and it's not God's not going to have favor on it. Again, I would like to beg to differ. Now there are times when
God is saying, hey, I need you to get alone with me and listen to what I would have you do. I need you to hear from me what my strategies are that you need to implement. 100%, absolutely.
Matt (13:49.307)
But there are times in scripture where that's not what happened. And the action that men took was absolutely God's will. One of my favorite stories is Jonathan, the son of King Saul and his armor bearer. So Jonathan had just watched Saul have the kingdom ripped from his family line because Saul was being motivated by fear and people pleasing. And he was offering a sacrifice.
without Samuel the prophet there. And that was against the command that God had told him to do, his direct disobedience. And he had done that because he saw his army starting to panic and get worried and scatter. And so he's trying to people please, he's trying to take matters into his own hands and the kingdom is stripped away from him. Now, Jonathan has watched his father be faithless. He's also watched the rest of the 600 men with his father.
his army be faithless and start to scatter. So he goes to one man, his own armor bearer, and he says, Hey, armor bearer, let's just you and me go away from our camp and go to the Philistines garrison and you and I go and fight for Israel. And he says this thing he says, because it may be that God will be with us and deliver us.
See, Jonathan didn't have a direct revelation from God. He didn't have a vision, a dream. He didn't have an angel show up. A prophet didn't come to him and tell him to do this. Now those things are all fine and good and they still happen today and I love them. I'm the first one to tell you I love them. But we can't always do nothing when those things aren't happening.
So Jonathan took initiative. He saw that their promised land was being overrun. It was at a time when the promises were looking like they were failing for God's people. Now in your marriage, does that look to be the case in some ways? Does it look to be the case like the promise of a passionate, connected, fulfilled marriage is failing? Then you're in a great position with Jonathan right now.
Matt (16:23.086)
He looks around and he sees, yeah, it looks like God's promise is failing. I don't know if this is gonna work, but it may be that God will work with us. Let's go do it.
and the armor bearer who is a representation of the Holy Spirit.
He is the type of helper that Jesus calls the Holy Spirit in the gospels. It's a military helper. It's one who comes to your rescue when your enemies surround you. It's the same idea as the helper that Eve was in Genesis.
So this armor bearer tells Jonathan, do whatever's in your heart to do, do as you wish. I'll be with you heart and soul. What if God is speaking this to you and he's wanting you to get up and out of the passivity of your marriage? Maybe you're not passive in every, any other part of life even, or maybe marriage you're not passive in, but you are somewhere else. I don't know, but there's plenty of guys out there.
I've spoken to who are successful, confident, joyful, driven in their jobs in the world, whatever it may be. But as soon as they cross the threshold of their home, they cower.
Matt (17:41.999)
They tiptoe, they walk on eggshells, the joy goes away. The confidence goes away. And they become passive.
Matt (17:55.629)
So it may be that God is telling you right now, stop sitting around hoping for a miracle. He's like, get up and do the thing that's in your heart to do. Pursue the miracle, become part of it. Take the action that is initiating the miracle.
Matt (18:27.885)
What's interesting is that after the whole lead up to the battle, Jonathan and the armor bearer charge into the Philistines and Jonathan actually goes first and his armor bearer comes along behind and finishes off the enemies. It's like Jonathan knocks them down, wounds them. The armor bearer kills them. So for sticking with the metaphor that the armor bearer is like the Holy spirit and you are Jonathan, sometimes you charge ahead
And you're not, and the Holy Spirit is endorsing you, but He's allowing you to initiate and to go in front to take the lead.
and he's got your back and he'll come to your aid, but he lets us do this sometimes. And then even more interesting is that they did all of this for a little bit before the big miraculous supernatural stuff started happening. They went after this with their own effort and God met them after a little bit of a delay.
Not a long one, not years and years, just like, you know, I don't know, matter of minutes.
So what is it that you need to do for your marriage?
Matt (19:49.614)
Do you need to have a conversation that you've been putting off and a conversation, establishing some boundaries that you've been too afraid to establish? Do you need to make some requests of your wife that you've been too afraid to make? Do you need to turn on the physical affection again, even though she's turned it off and you did, you turned it off as well because you were tired of being rejected.
Do you need to invite her to go to therapy?
Matt (20:26.596)
And if you've been a reader of my book, The DNA of a Man, or you've been following my emails, if you're on my email list, or maybe you're just watching this video for the first time, maybe joining the masculine husband is one of those action steps. And I know that there's guys who are like, man, is this God's will? Does he want this? Does he not? And I'm not saying to go and do something
that you just clearly shouldn't be doing. Okay? But if you're like, I just don't know if this is God's will, his will may be that you just do something.
Matt (21:13.067)
that you just get off the couch and do a new thing that you've never done before.
Matt (21:24.426)
Sometimes we have to just go for see we we run it. I hear this this a lot when it comes to like praying for people to be healed I've prayed for plenty to be healed. I've seen dozens of people get healed miraculously and I'm not it's nothing special anybody can do it if you just go for it and you believe and you do the work of building your faith for like it's it's not just because I'm amazing. Okay, I just want you to know that I'm just
Me, I'm just normal.
But when it comes to praying for healing, a lot of times people are like, yeah, I'm, always like asking God, like, is there someone here that you want me to pray for? Is there someone here that you want me to pray for? just if there's anybody who needs healing, would you please like put it on my heart? And I'm like, no, that's not the approach. Of course God would want you to pray for somebody. Of course, if you see a cast, it's fair game to be healed.
says Jesus healed all of our infirmities.
So when it comes to taking action that you know is for a good purpose with a good heart, you've got to assume you've got to have the default be that I've got a green light until God gives me a red.
Matt (22:52.96)
Now there are times he will in the book of Acts. It says of Paul like the Holy Spirit prevented us from going to, is it Asia maybe? He prevented us from going there to preach the gospel. Now that's not what you would expect. You'd expect, as long as I want to go preach the gospel, I'll go, you know, he's fine with it. I'll just go anywhere and preach. And that's how he generally operated. But there were times the Holy Spirit said no. And so you listen and that's fine.
But we have the problem of assuming we have a red light all the time until we get a super incredible green. And that's not what I want for you in your marriage. You've waited long enough.
Matt (23:43.754)
So
Matt (23:47.095)
go do something. And if that happens to be joining me for the masculine husband, then let's do that. Jump on board. I want you in there. In the masculine husband, we help men go through a process of effortless change where
you, we activate Romans 12 to be transformed by the renewing of your mind. As we go through this process of mindset renewal, it results in change in your marriage and your behavior and your feelings that feels seriously effortless. It feels like you're not even trying at times. It feels like you're actually becoming different instead of just forcing behavior change.
Matt (24:40.938)
And I've had man after man after man be amazed at the new life that they, that they receive from this stuff. And from there we go into how do you show up in your marriage in a way you never have before? How do you honor your own self in a way you never have? And how do you conduct yourself in a way where your wife feels truly loved like she never has?
man it's miraculous if that's intriguing the link's gonna be in the show notes for you i want to see you there please please consider it also if you haven't read my book the dna of a man do i i should have a copy i do have a copy sitting here behind me under my notebook dna of a man here you go
Kind of matches my shirt color. I sold over 10,000 copies now and it is changing people's lives. I would love for you to read that as well. Talks about how to be a man of identity, man of principle, a man on mission. And man, that is, that is just doing wonders for people. So go check that out and stay tuned to the channel. Like the video, please.
Leave a comment. Go ahead and subscribe. I know the channel's new, but it's not quitting and we're going to take this thing bigger and bigger to more and more people because we need men of the church to become men on fire, to become men of the kingdom. Thanks, brother. I'll see you next time.