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Michael Jeter runs STARS Mentoring Project in Waco, TX. STARS is a collaboration of volunteers from churches across Waco who are helping at-risk students in Waco succeed through encouraging mentoring relationships and academic support. Michael shares about their model which focuses on building mentor relationships through 30 minute book clubs.
Show Notes
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WELCOME
You Can Mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others.
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SHOW NOTES
Michael Jeter runs STARS Mentoring Project in Waco, TX. STARS is a collaboration of volunteers from churches across Waco who are helping at-risk students in Waco succeed through encouraging mentoring relationships and academic support.
- STARS Website: starsbookclubs.com
- Follow STARS Mentoring Project on Facebook
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What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others. You can mentor.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to the You Can Mentor podcast. We are so excited for a new episode. We've actually gone on tour. Yes. We are in Waco, Texas.
Speaker 3:Road trip.
Speaker 2:Home of the gut pack. Also, the Baylor Bears, for those of you who went to Baylor. We are really excited today to interview our friend, Michael Jeter from Stars Mentoring Project. Michael, how the heck are you?
Speaker 4:Doing great. Yeah. Glad to be here.
Speaker 2:And, Zach, you're here too, aren't you?
Speaker 3:Yes. I am here, Steven.
Speaker 2:I'm glad that we got to road trip up together.
Speaker 3:It was pretty fun.
Speaker 4:We, Where
Speaker 2:do we stop on the way here?
Speaker 3:We stopped off at this place. We can't pronounce it.
Speaker 2:We're not sure if it's Slovicek. Or
Speaker 3:Slovicek. Slovicek or
Speaker 4:I wanna say Slovicek, but I'll be honest. I'm not a 100%
Speaker 3:on that one. I don't know. But, man, I had, like, so many kolaches. I I might take a nap during this interview.
Speaker 2:Yes. It's so good. Well, we're excited to interview you, Michael, and we know your background. I checked on Wikipedia, kinda your history. I know you starred in The Green Mile.
Speaker 2:Definitely. Patch Adams. Polar Express and Jurassic Park 3. Which which of those films was your favorite?
Speaker 4:You know, I'm gonna have to say Air Bud. Air Bud. Okay. That's really where I shine the most.
Speaker 3:Air Bud.
Speaker 2:Oh, man. Check it in the show notes.
Speaker 3:Air Bud. RIP Michael Jeter from Hollywood. No, Michael. We're excited to get
Speaker 2:to know you. Could you share a little bit about STARS Mentoring Project and how you got involved?
Speaker 4:Sure. So, STARS Mentoring Project is, a ministry that started by, Antioch Community Church, which began in actually 2,002. So Antioch intentionally started a church in, kind of the, inner city of Waco in 99. And very soon, they saw that, like, hey. Like, obviously, we're focused first on spiritual needs and Jesus, you know, we are a church.
Speaker 4:But, you know. But, we saw very soon that there were a lot of other needs that kids in our community had, especially emotionally and academically. And so there was a teacher, you know, in the congregation who said, hey. I wanna do something to help address these needs for the kids for our community. And so she started SARS mentoring project.
Speaker 4:And, honestly, it's had a lot of forms over the years. As we've just tried to learn and adapt and find, like, what works best in what season. So we've done everything from, you know, after school tutoring to maybe more like a big brothers, big sisters model to our current model of book clubs, which is, yeah, mostly what we do now.
Speaker 2:Yeah. So can you can you share with our listeners what you guys are doing currently? Where you guys are at? What schools? How many schools are you in?
Speaker 2:How many volunteers you have?
Speaker 4:Sure. Currently, we have 2 models, book club and Friday club. And so book club is 30 minutes once a week. You go into a local elementary school, and we have you have a kid group of 2 or 3 kids that are, you know, same lunchtime, usually same gender and same reading level. And you meet with them during their lunch.
Speaker 4:You go to, like, the library once they get their food, and you sit with them, talk with them a little bit as they're eating. Just getting to know them, being intentional, you know, ask them questions about their lives. And then you go around reading a fun book together. And so that model has really taken off because it's something we've made it kind of as bite sized as possible so that the most people can be a part of it. People who said, you know, if people can give an hour to mentor, that is ideal and amazing.
Speaker 4:But there were a lot of people who said, you know, I have a busy job. I don't have an hour during the day, but I do have an hour lunch break, and I could drive 10 minutes, do this thing for 30 minutes, and drive 10 back. And we said, okay. We have something for you. So Yeah.
Speaker 4:That's awesome. That's that's our main thing, book club. We also do an after school, thing once a week on Friday. It's called Friday club, and it's a lot of games, fun activities. We do a a talk on some sort of character value, like courage, compassion, that kind of thing.
Speaker 4:A little small group discussion time, and then more games because we found, kids love languages. Love language is fun in in my opinion.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 4:And so, it's you know, we're doing that. That's out of school. We actually meet here at the church, and so, we kind of lead with fun and really connect with kids through that, but then we do have some intentional time where we're going deeper with them.
Speaker 2:That's awesome. I love that. You kinda mentioned that this thing took off.
Speaker 4:Yes.
Speaker 2:And so I'd I'd love to hear I mean, you shared one thing that the time commitment is a huge constraint for people who are looking to mentor Sure. And thinking, could I do this? Do I have enough capacity or time?
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 2:And you're saying 30 minutes is enough. Come work with us. You can invest a lot in the life of a kid if you just give 30 minutes a week. Can you kinda unpack, yeah, why why that's attractive? Why that you you feel like it's it's blown up here in Waco?
Speaker 4:You know, I think the number one thing we'd say is important for a mentor is to be consistent. Or say consistency is the biggest part. Well, let's say be consistent and loving. You know, you don't wanna be a consistent and and a jerk. Alright.
Speaker 4:But if you're consistent and loving, you know, those are the biggest things. And so we'd say, you know, again, if you have an hour every week or 2 hours every week with a kid, that's amazing. You can do so much there. But we'd say even, you know, in our view, even 30 minutes, if you can do that every week, you can see a real impact on a kid versus, like, an hour once a month or something. And so that, you know, steady consistency, is what we focus on, and we've seen that really take off.
Speaker 4:You know, we used to have almost all college students were our were our volunteers because they were the ones who had a lot of unstructured free time. And now, honestly, there may be a quarter or less of our volunteers. We have a lot of retirees. We have, you know, people young adults who have people with, you know, families who are able to make that time. And it's really grown.
Speaker 4:Like I said, it blew up. It really grew from just volunteers from our church Antioch to now we have volunteers from 40 churches in Waco that are all doing this together, and we're just supporting them as they go into, it's now 13 elementary schools in our city doing book clubs. So, it's amazing. It's, you know, we focused on our idea from the beginning was that if our church can really support the 2 local schools in our neighborhood, we can provide a model and and really an example for the other churches of our community to do the same in the in the schools around them. Because the need in Waco is so much bigger than what any one church could do, you know, or what any one, you know, organization really.
Speaker 4:And so we said, hey, if we can there's so many believers in Waco. So many people in Waco who say, hey, I would love to support a kid. I would love, you know, if I if I can make it work with my own schedule in life. And so we say, hey, if we can really harness that potential Yeah. And connect it to the kids of our city, we can see citywide impact.
Speaker 4:That's awesome.
Speaker 2:I love that.
Speaker 3:I think there's so much power whenever you partner with different organizations because at the end of the day, whether it's churches or nonprofits Yeah. We're all on the same team. Absolutely. Right? We're all on team Jesus.
Speaker 4:Team Jesus.
Speaker 3:And so, I just know with my own experience, the Lord just tends to put his hand on things where people come together and they, get on the same team and they share a common vision, and they're not really concerned about who gets the credit. The only thing they're concerned about is how can we help kids in the name of Jesus Christ. Yeah. That's so powerful, man. That's awesome.
Speaker 4:Absolutely. I mean, one of the elementary schools we work at, we have the head pastors of 4 different churches who are each doing a group themselves. Yes. And so they're each showing up during the week as well as some people from their congregations, and then they, you know, come together and say, hey. What else can we do for this campus?
Speaker 4:What else can we do for these kids? And it's just such a great I just love it every time I see it because it's such a great picture, I think, of the way we should be doing things. Of it's not about my church or my tribe really, but it's about, serving and loving the way Jesus would.
Speaker 2:Yeah. I love that. Our podcast is all about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:I wonder in your context here, could you paint a picture of what a kid from a hard place looks like in Waco? Could you share share a story about a kid that you guys
Speaker 4:serve? Yeah. So, I'd say Waco has a significant poverty rate. And so and even kids who aren't under that poverty line, you know, a lot of kids just from lower income situations, which is, you know, definitely a barrier and a struggle for a lot of people in our community. And so we have a lot of kids, we're working with who are from low income households, a lot of kids from single parent households, a lot of kids who have a family member who member who's incarcerated, and a lot of kids that are struggling in school, you know, struggling academically.
Speaker 4:And it can be that, you know, their parents are working 3 jobs, and they just don't have any time to work with them. It can be that their parents never really learned to read well themselves, and so they don't feel competent to really help them or, you know, or sometimes a parent is just really not doesn't really value it, you know, and doesn't see the need for it. And so we see that need. We see both the academic need and the emotional need of these kids. I'd say one one girl that, might just kind of sum up why we do what we do, as a little girl named Ashley, who we started working with in book club when she was in, I want to say, 2nd or 3rd grade.
Speaker 4:Her father had just been incarcerated. Mhmm. And so she had grown up, actually, with 2 parents, but then father, went away to prison for several years. And her mom was just trying to figure out life as a single mom, and it really hit Ashley really hard, you know. And she she kinda lost interest in school.
Speaker 4:She was getting depressed, but, you know, she did we did get her you know, she did sign up for a book club, and so we had a mentor start meeting with her. And I remember one day, the mentor called me and said, hey. I don't know what to do. You know, Ashley just told me that she's so depressed. She's even having some suicidal thoughts.
Speaker 4:And so I said, hey. You need, like, immediately talk to the counselor there before you leave the school. Tell her, you know, let them get her the help she needs. And thankfully, that it didn't go beyond that. You know, the counselor was able to talk with her, able to, like, continue to connect with her.
Speaker 4:But over, you know, over the year, that that mentor just shared how she slowly, you know, month by month, she started to see, things change with that girl and then Ashley actually gotten her dulled in our after school program Friday club too. And talking to her mom at the end of the year, she said, it was amazing to see she started asking me all the time, mom, can you buy me some books from the book fair? Hey mom, can you, you know, I want to read more, can you give me some books from the library? And just her joy and her countenance really started to change and increase and so we saw, yeah, she would be laughing and smiling and having fun at Friday club where she was just so down before and we're like that's what and it wasn't anything magical or secretive, you know, that we did. It was just we're gonna show up every week to tell you, hey, I believe in you.
Speaker 4:You can do this. I know things are hard right now, but I'm with you and I care about you.
Speaker 3:There's so much power there. Right? Like, you you think about a girl who's just been through an extremely traumatic experience. Yeah. Her father, who she's seen day in and day out almost every day of her life, is now gone.
Speaker 3:Her family structure's completely changed, and mom is having to deal with things that she has never had to deal with. And then on top of that, she's expected to go to school and continue just like everything's normal. Mhmm. Right? And then you guys come in and say, hey, Ashley.
Speaker 3:We're gonna pull you out of class, and every single week, you're gonna have 30 minutes of undivided attention. Where, yeah, we're gonna pick up a book.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:But I'm also gonna ask you about your life. And you're gonna have consistent love and attention and words of affirmation spoken over you each and every week. Yeah. And I can't help but think that that had to be the thing that she looked forward to each and every week. That man, she was counting down the hours until Tuesday at noon came because she knew while things might be crazy at home, I know for these 30 minutes, I'm going to get positive attention.
Speaker 3:I'm going to get loved on, and I'm gonna have someone who cares about me.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Yeah. No. Absolutely. It was, just amazing to see, the impact it can have on a kid and how it it's just creating this little safe space.
Speaker 3:Yeah. You
Speaker 4:know, like, because some schools, you know, every school culture is different. Mhmm. You know, and I've seen some schools that are just super calm and teachers and kids have a great bond and rapport, and it's going great. I've seen other schools where the staff is under a lot of stress, and that stress translates into them yelling and just a lot of, you know, what seems like anger and shame, you know, in the way they're dealing with their kids. And for some of those kids, you know, it's hard at home, and then it's hard at school.
Speaker 4:And this can just be this little window of, hey. Right here. You're safe. You're loved. I care about you.
Speaker 4:And I always tell the volunteers, like, look, you're not even though we incorporate reading, I was, like, you are not a reading tutor. You're a mentor and a mentor is a friend. So I'm like, if there are days you do not open the book at all, that is totally fine. Yeah. Because that relationship is really the base and the most important thing.
Speaker 2:I even wanna give you a chance to unpack why you guys believe reading is such an important aspect of what you do because, really, you're doing mentoring, but through we're we're doing book clubs, and we want these kids to look forward to book club and hanging out with their mentor. What what really is the the impact of a kid who now enjoys buying books at the book fair and reading?
Speaker 4:Sure. So, when we, started book clubs, it was, my good friend, Stephanie, who is who really came with the model. She had taught for in Waco ISD for 12 years as elementary school teacher. And so she had seen firsthand the importance of reading, and then she did some research to really back up, like, you know, and and the statistic that really hit us was if a kid cannot read on grade level in 3rd grade, they're 4 times more likely to drop out of high school. And then if you add poverty to that and if you're comparing a kid who can read on grade level and is not in poverty versus one who can't read on grade level and is in poverty, that kid is 13 times more likely to drop out of high school.
Speaker 4:And you drop out of high school, you're 6 times more likely to become incarcerated and all a host of other factors. And so we said, hey, this is, you know, we see in our city, you know, just the brokenness in families and see that, you know, incarceration, you know, like that little girl's dad and all these other things. What can we do? There's a host of factors that lead to that. But this is one one way we can really dial down on something that is, you know, shows a clear different path, you know, a different trajectory for a kid.
Speaker 4:And so we said, hey, let's not wait until a kid's, you know, in high school and they're 5 years behind in rate reading level. Can we work with the 4th and third and second graders, you know, to really get them there? So that's why we try to incorporate that because that can have a huge impact just on where they go you know people say up until 3rd grade you're learning to read and then from 3rd grade on you're really reading to learn and that's reading is the basis for doing well in math doing well in science doing all these things And so we saw that's just such a critical thing that we wanted to incorporate that to.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And learning how to read is a very relational endeavor.
Speaker 4:Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so you don't learn how to read without relationship.
Speaker 4:Yeah. And you see, you know, I've seen, these classes, you know, and a teacher has 22, 25 kids in the class. And the majority of them usually are not where they need to be reading level wise. And a teacher just can't sit down regularly with 1 kid or a group of 2 or 3 kids and say, hey, read out loud for me. And let me hear how you're doing.
Speaker 4:And let me encourage you. And let me see help you where you need help. I mean, there's just no space for that. They're already so taxed. And so this is something we can do to help bring that support.
Speaker 2:When we talk about reading, that is a very simple thing you can model for a kid. And and really a lot of mentorship is modeling the things that we do every day
Speaker 4:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And giving giving them an example to follow. Like, for instance, I was talking to one of our mentors. He's an architect, and he asks his mentee, hey. What do you wanna be when you grow up? And he says, an architect.
Speaker 2:Yeah. And it's just natural because he's spending time with him, and that's an example that he sees. So I I I wanna ask you, to really unpack the simplicity of mentoring. Mhmm. Like because really anybody can can model what they're doing.
Speaker 2:It's more of just pulling a kid next to you so they can watch you live. What are the things that you communicate to your mentors that help them dial into that?
Speaker 4:Yeah. I mean, I think, you know, along the lines of what you're just saying, I think there are things that you don't even realize are a big deal to kids because you're, you know, like, just being that architect in the kid's life and then the kid getting a dream of, hey. I I wanna be an architect too, Just by who you are and what you do, you know, you're providing helping create some new vision and new dreams for kids that they wouldn't necessarily had before. You know, I think for a lot of kids we work with, the people in their lives, there's kind of a limited set of careers they end up going into. You know?
Speaker 4:And there's a limited kind of set of paths, and they see, you know, their relatives and just other adults say no. Do just, you know, end up doing just kind of a couple of things. And for someone else to come in and say, hey. I'm a architect or I'm a banker or I'm a, you know, even stay at home mom. The other things where they say there's just this host of other ideas that say, hey.
Speaker 4:Well, I know someone in that world. You know? So many times I'm gonna feel like I'm in this world here, and there are these other people in those that other world out there. And there's this huge rift between us, and I have no idea how you get there. And so for a mentor, even if you're not one of those things, we say, hey.
Speaker 4:Try to discover what a kid is passionate about, and then just talk with them about possibilities with that. You know? So you say, hey. If your kid is into animals, say, hey. That's awesome.
Speaker 4:You know? You know, one option is you could be a vet one day, and this is how you get there. This is what you have to do. And that's just starts building the possibilities in their mind of saying, hey. There's more maybe than what I thought, there was for me for possibilities.
Speaker 3:One opportunity that we have as a mentor is we get to kinda 0 in on those things. Hey, man. I could be wrong on this, but it seems to me like you really like animals.
Speaker 4:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:And if he says that, you know, or, hey, it looks to me like you really like drawing or you really like cooking or creating, then us as mentors, we get an opportunity to take a door that has always been closed to these kids and open it up through experience.
Speaker 4:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:So one practical thing that we can do is, hey, the next time that you pick up your kid, take him to a vet and say, hey. You know, maybe call him up and say, hey. I've got this kid who might be interested in this. Is it cool if we swing by your office for 15 minutes? Right?
Speaker 3:And just show them. Right? Like, hey. This is what it looks like to be a chef. This is what it looks like to be a vet.
Speaker 3:This is what it looks like to be an architect. And just start tossing those seeds of, hey. You're talented, and you could become this, and this option is on the table. Sometimes for our kids, you gotta be the first one to dream for them.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Absolutely. And, I mean, that connects back to reading. In a way, you're enabling them to be the dreamer Mhmm. And you're connecting them to a life of information gathering and seeing the opportunities that it's it's not just if I know a baker or I know an accountant or a businessman.
Speaker 2:I can look into those fields and grow an interest. I love particularly what you said of of, like, a a kid sitting there thinking, oh, I know a banker now.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 2:And and and just just him even establishing, like, I know one of those, like and how curious kids are of what adults do, what what our lives are about. And I think you create an opportunity when you mentor someone of opening up a new way of looking at life and how many new paths are created just because of a simple relationship. Can you can you unpack some of the simple things you see your mentors doing that mean the world to the kids, but the mentor just doesn't think twice about?
Speaker 4:Just the first very basic thing is showing up consistently. Because I think, you know, for so many kids, the the baseline question they're dealing with is, am I worth loving? You know, am I worth being loved? And can I make it? You know?
Speaker 4:And I think for a mentor, you know, we show that, you know, actions speak louder than words. Just someone saying, hey. You're important enough that I'm gonna make the time in my week that I'm gonna be there for you over and over. And once they start seeing it, you know, I tell mentors, you know, when when you train them and say, hey. Don't be discouraged if a kid takes a little while to open up.
Speaker 4:Because a lot of these kids have had a lot of disappointment of someone promising to be there for them, and then they're not. And you but you just showing up, you know, it's, you know, 1 week, 2 week, 10 weeks, 20 weeks that you've been there. It it starts cementing in their in their hearts. You know? Hey.
Speaker 4:I am worth being loved. Like, someone does care about me enough that they're showing up time and again. And so I think that basic thing can mean a lot to a kid. I think, also, just, you know, the kids do have a lot of needs, and we're not pretending like they don't. But going sometimes from a needs based approach approach to an asset spray based approach can be a lot.
Speaker 4:You know, when you have, I taught mentors. When you have a kid who's, you know, English is a second language and they're struggling some with the English, you know, that, you know, instead of looking at it, like, oh, man. Like, you really are not that great at English. I hope you get better. You know, this you've got a big problem here saying, wow.
Speaker 4:That's amazing that you know a lot already of 2 languages. That's huge. You know, if you really speaking 2 languages well as an adult can open so many doors for you and help you communicate with so many people. And even saying, you know, having the humility to say, hey. Would you teach me a couple words?
Speaker 4:You know, would you I wanna learn from you. And and making the kid think I have this really special thing Yeah. Instead of, oh, I am this, like, less than person.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Which, like, that's that's doing so many things here. Like, you are entering into their world.
Speaker 4:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:You're affirming them. Mhmm. And then you are not focusing on the bad, but you're focusing instead on the good. There's so much power in all of those things. Can you go a little bit deeper into the needs based approach versus the asset based?
Speaker 3:Just kinda for people who haven't ever heard that before, can you just kinda tell us about that?
Speaker 4:So, I mean, I think, some of my background is in a little bit of community development. And, you know, a lot of people can come in with a lot of good motivations. Right? And say, okay. Let me see what all the needs are, and let me just start attacking those.
Speaker 4:So let's start you know, let me come to this community and say, okay. You guys need x, y, and z, and let's start working on those. And it's not taking the time, I think, to ask, hey. What strengths do you actually have? With things and then I think especially in a low income setting, where we can easily be tricked into only looking at the material, you know, and saying, okay, well, you don't have a nice house or you don't have many closers or the best clothes or whatever else, but saying trying to switch the mindset a little bit and say, what do you have and what strengths do you have that we can play off on and capitalize on?
Speaker 4:You know, and maybe are not being used as much that could be used. And so, like, you know, strong family relationships. That's a huge strength. Or, like, strong community relationships and buy in. That's another one.
Speaker 4:Or, adaptability, you know, and just ingenuity and, you know, knowing how to, like, in the last minute, figure out a solution. That's a huge strength. And, you know, and just starting to see and value some of those things. I think it takes intentionality to do that. I think it takes some humility.
Speaker 4:And I think on it honestly, it's an honoring thing to do, to to try to move away from, hey. I'm this person who has it all together, and I'm gonna come help you because you obviously don't. To say, hey. We each have strengths. Yeah.
Speaker 4:And we each have different things we're blessed with. Let me find out what yours are, and let's see if we can really encourage those and grow those, and let me honor those and even learn from you.
Speaker 3:I know one thing that we spoke on before the podcast was just the mindset of coming into a relationship as a learner. Yeah. Do you think that you could speak some more on that?
Speaker 4:Sure. So, I mean, this is kind of on the same, topic is I think we can come in it's easy to come in, especially if you're, you know, in a more successful adult in your view and say, I'm here to teach, you know, or I'm here to give, when when really a relationship is a two way street.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 4:And so I think coming in as a learner can help level the playing field a little bit. It makes kids feel good when they feel like they have something to give, and they're not just on the receiving end. You know, it's better to give than receive. It's really true because there's, something about it where you feel proud of yourself. You have something to give.
Speaker 4:And so coming in as a learner to find out what those things are the kid has to give, I think, and also just coming from a different culture, you know, or different socioeconomic status or different race. Coming in as a learner is so important because, you know, some people will try to make generalities and say, okay. Well, generally, low income people do this or think like this or whatever. And, you know, there can be some consistent, you know, things that you find along those lines. But culture can be different, really different from household to household even within the same community and socioeconomic class and race.
Speaker 4:And so coming in and say, hey, I'm not gonna assume this stuff about you, but I really wanna learn. Some examples we give in our training and say, you know, if you have a Hispanic kid, that you know can speak Spanish, don't assume that they want to, you know, if you speak Spanish. You know, some kids might love it if you spoke to them in Spanish, and other kids, it might make them feel uncomfortable and might not like it, you know, based on different experiences they've had and themselves trying to kind of distance themselves from it. Or, you know, if you're talking with a biracial kid, you know, he may look, you know, more like one race or another to you, but that doesn't necessarily mean that's the race that he really identifies the most with and is, you know, sees himself as. Or kids don't necessarily see themselves through the same lenses that you see them.
Speaker 4:You know, You might see a kid, you might think, oh, wow. This is like a poor kid. And a kid maybe has never thought of himself as poor. And so you don't wanna put that on them.
Speaker 2:They want something that you place on them and not something they identify as well.
Speaker 3:Do you have any stories, Michael, of a mentor who has come in, maybe a tad bit apprehensive or insecure that they had the tools to really make an impact on a child? And just how the Lord used them to not only transform a kid's life, but also to transform how they saw themselves.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Absolutely. I'd say many, if not the majority of our volunteers when they first start are nervous. You know? And they're thinking, do I have what it takes to, like, help a kid?
Speaker 4:And is the kid gonna like me? And, you know, how's this gonna go? And, I have seen, you know, I had we asked did a year end survey last year for volunteers and just said, hey, you know, tell us about this year. And one of the mentors felt like said that I felt like I finally had something to give someone else. This really made me feel better about myself, which was something I was not expecting.
Speaker 4:But, I've especially, I've seen with some of our older mentors, like, people who are more towards, like, retirees. A lot of them can feel like, what's what can I do anymore? What's my use? Like, where's my place in society? And there's so much they do have to give, but a lot of times I think from feeling like, well, no one's pursuing me, you know, in giving wisdom or help or love.
Speaker 4:Maybe I don't really have that much to give at all. And so I've seen, you know, one lady who just came in very timid, and unsure of herself, really come alive and say, hey, this is the highlight of my week. I love meeting. She has a group of 2 girls she meets with. And just I love meeting with these girls.
Speaker 4:It's been so fun for me. And I realized, you know, again, just coming back to that, just simple being there for them and loving them is something really valuable I can give them. And I didn't really realize that before.
Speaker 3:Can you maybe put your finger on some of the the lies that the enemy might tell a mentor or a potential mentor? We know that we're coming in to build relationships. And that's, like, the last thing that the enemy likes Mhmm. Or wants. True.
Speaker 3:So can you just kinda speak on that?
Speaker 4:Yeah. Some of the lies I think, people believe the most would be, 1, I don't have much to give. You know, I'm not an expert when it comes to kids. I'm not an expert when it comes to mentoring. I mean, I'd say I personally, I'm not an expert when it comes to mentoring.
Speaker 4:You know, I feel like a lot of what we do is the basics and simple. But, you know, I say, hey, if I can do it, you can do it. Honestly, you know, it's asking some intentional questions and we'll give them, you know, hey, these are questions you can ask. These are kind of different things you can do. But, I don't have much to give.
Speaker 4:I'm not making a difference is a big one, for people. And I'd say, especially in the first couple months, you know, a lot of people say, whether it's on the emotional side or the, you know, reading side, a lot of people say, you know, I don't really know if I'm doing anything. I haven't seen a lot of reading growth yet. I haven't seen this kid really open up to me a lot yet and, like, share all their deepest struggles and, you know, all that. And what I usually tell mentors on that one is say, hey.
Speaker 4:We're in this for the long game. Some kids from what they've been through, it just takes them a while to trust someone. You know? Or when you're talking with a kid who's, like, really struggling with reading, it's gonna take a while of building that confidence, building the enjoyment in reading, and just learning some of these, you know, skills before you really see the growth. And I say, you know, we saw one school where we met with almost every second to 5th grader in the school for in book clubs for a 6 year period.
Speaker 4:And that school, during that 6 year period, went from 52% of students passing their star reading tests to 78% of students passing star reading tests. But that was a 6 year process. And even in one of those years, it went down. You know? It's that graph that's, like, going up, up, down a little bit up.
Speaker 4:And so, like, on the down year, I'd say, hey. This is not you have not failed, and it's not that you're not making a difference. But we're in it for the long term. You know? And so if you don't see something right away, be faithful.
Speaker 4:You know? Be faithful. Continue. You know, obviously, you can ask for help. You can ask for input.
Speaker 4:Maybe there's something you're missing or something you could add, but I just say, generally, what I've seen in mentoring is that the fruit you see after a while and not immediately.
Speaker 2:Yeah. That's good. I mean I mean, it just goes back to a biblical view of you do reap what you sow. Yeah. And a farmer doesn't get frustrated right after he plants.
Speaker 4:Right.
Speaker 2:Like and gets frustrated that there's no fruit or there's no harvest. Like,
Speaker 3:why aren't you growing seed? It's been 6 hours.
Speaker 4:I know. I have a I have a 3 year old daughter, and we planted some sunflower seeds, and she was very disappointed. She couldn't see anything the next day
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 4:In there. And so
Speaker 3:She is my kinda girl.
Speaker 4:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 2:I I wonder even if you could speak to this. It's something that came to my head. A lot of our kids are on a spectrum of extroverted, introverted. So we have you have your really loud kid that's looking for attention and is gonna do anything he can to get it, and then you have other kids who are very quiet, introverted, closed, like high barriers. And I I wonder if you have any thoughts on that disconnect in how a mentor views his work.
Speaker 2:Like, we have a few mentors who their kids are very introverted, and theirs their frustration is that they can't discern if what they're doing is working.
Speaker 3:And so
Speaker 2:I don't know if you have any thoughts about introverted kids in y'all's program and the effects of mentoring that that you guys have seen.
Speaker 4:Yeah. You know, I'd say the extroverted kids tend to get more of the attention even in even in our training, you know, even in our time, I would say, you know, focus so much on we say affirm the positive and find, you know, any little glimpse of positive behavior or or, you know, whatever else. Really latch on to that and affirm that, encourage that. You know, you have a kid who's really impatient most of the time, but they show this moment of patience. Praise that, you know, get there because if they you can give them that positive affirmation for the good thing, then they'll do less attention seeking through the negative.
Speaker 4:I'd say as far as the introverts, you know, they can be a tougher nut to crack. And, you know, speaking as an introvert myself, I feel like I should know better, you know, how to get through. I'd say finding the right questions is one thing I found to be helpful. So if you're finding if you're asking the same questions that are just not really going anywhere, saying, like, okay. How can I ask a better question or a different question?
Speaker 4:You know, if you're asking them each week, hey. How's your week been? And the answer you get each week is good or fine, and it stops there, coming up with a different question or asking someone, hey. I can have a different question. So, like, you know, one question, is, hey.
Speaker 4:What's something interesting that happened today that I wouldn't know about unless I asked you? You know? Or it's just coming up with some something else because a lot of times a kid is you know, whether they're very introverted or just, you know, not super talkative, they can lean towards that one word answer. Yeah. And so giving them a different opportunity or just, you know I honestly, I'm still trying to figure out every way, but I'd say better questions is definitely a help.
Speaker 4:Yeah. I'm curious to see if you guys have thoughts.
Speaker 2:I even I even think that reading is something that I've read is that really mentors who have an introverted mentee that focusing on gathering information together rather than just trying to gather information from your your mentee. What did you eat for lunch? Right. How did you like it? What did you not like?
Speaker 2:Things like that are different than questions where it's like, hey. Which I feel like the reading part really intrigues me in thinking about how usually introverted kids really love to discover new things and gather information. Our introverted kids, they know every song lyric you can think of and are very intrigued by gathering information. And I I think redirecting the mentor to, like, how do we tap into that strength
Speaker 4:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Like what you just said of really this introversion is not an issue or a need. It's just a different strength that these kids have. I don't know. So I'm just externally processing while you're talking.
Speaker 4:Yeah. And actually, that does make me think of how helpful a book can be. Because we tell, you know, we tell our mentors when they go into a book club, look, you know, you have part of the time you're talking, you're connecting, hanging out, part of the time reading. It is a 100% up to you where you make that divide. You know, if you're doing more talking, more reading, that's based on you and how you feel it out with your group.
Speaker 4:We say, you know, for some of the kids that are super talkative, you know, they can just talk and they don't even need a book. For other groups, you know, it's like they're like, I'm so glad I had a book because we try I just tried some conversation. It was like, wall, wall, wall, wall. But we started reading a book, and then I could ask them questions or we could talk about what we were reading. And, like, like, your that what you were just saying.
Speaker 4:And then it brought the attention away from them and towards, hey, this thing that we're looking at together. You know? And I think, you know, as an introvert, I think as a lot of times a kid can shut down a little bit when it seems like the focus and attention is, like, honed in on them. But if you if you turn it a little bit and you can talk about something together, yeah, I do think that's a great key. That's awesome.
Speaker 3:Okay. So you you run a mentoring program that focuses in on reading
Speaker 4:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:Within a church. So, tell me about how you either intentionally or behind the scenes, incorporate Jesus into what you guys are doing. Talk about when you're meeting with the kid, but also what are you talking to your volunteers about? What does it look like to pray for the kid that you're spending time with? And just how do we allow the lord to truly come in and do what he does best, which is transform lives?
Speaker 4:Yeah. That's a great question. And I think, especially, you know, in our program that's within the schools, there's a line we have to walk, you know, as believers, to cause we do want to honor the school, and their, you know, their norms and their, you know, regulations for things in the school. We also want to honor kids' parents, you know. And so when I talk to people, you know, some people want to come jump in right away and just start talking about Jesus or the gospel or whatever right away with the kids.
Speaker 4:You know, one of the things I heard someone say that stuck with me, they're like, hey, even within, you know, between different Christians, there's a wide variety of belief. You know? And so say, like, you know, you're in a Christian school, and then you have a mentor come in, and they're starting to talk to your kid about, like, speaking in tongues, but you're, like, a sensationalist baptist. You know? There's uh-oh.
Speaker 4:Why not? You know, you wouldn't feel comfortable with that, you know, as a parent. And so we're we're always trying to think, hey. What if I was the parent, what would be honoring to me? You know?
Speaker 4:And so, we do say in conversations with kids, we say, hey. Look. Any spiritual conversation has to be kid initiated. And just, like, generally, we say physical touch is best to be kids initiated besides, like, a high five or, you know, pat on the shoulder or something. And we say, if a kid wants to talk about a spiritual thing, you can engage with them.
Speaker 4:You can answer their question. That's fine. But we say you're coming in in an imbalance of power. You know, every kid is told, listen to the adult. And so as the adult, you're coming in with this, you know, assumed authority, and you can't really gauge with a kid if they're really wanting to have that conversation or they feel like they should because you're the mentor.
Speaker 4:They're the mentee. You're the adult. They're the kid. But if they if they bring it up, if they come, you know, start that out, then you say, okay. I'm I'm here with you.
Speaker 4:I'm gauging, and I'm not going past, like, what you're asking me in a sense. But sometimes those conversations do happen. You want when a kid wants to talk about that, I'm just, okay. We'll talk about that. The other thing with prayer, I'd say, we absolutely want you to pray consistently for your kids.
Speaker 4:You know, we don't think we're gonna see much transformation. You know, you might see some academic growth, but we don't really think we're gonna see the real deep transformation without prayer. And so, we say pray every time you're driving to go meet your mentee is a great time to be praying for them in the car. You know, as we're going into a school, let's say, pray as you're walking through the doors of the school. Pray as you're walking down the hall as you're waiting there to meet them.
Speaker 4:And really, you know, ask God, okay. What how can I bless this kid today? What are good questions for me to ask this kid today? You know, what does this kid need today? I think that's a great one.
Speaker 4:Because sometimes a kid just needs to be encouraged that day. Sometimes a kid just needs to be listened to that day and doesn't need you know, you don't need to teach them any amazing thing. They just need someone to listen to them as they're having some hard. So I think cultivating that, you know, constant prayer or regular prayer mentality is huge. And then as kids and as parents, you know, as as we when we have the opportunity to get to know parents, that's another place where we can, you know, feel from the parents what, you know, they're comfortable with and what they wanna talk about, really.
Speaker 4:And it's really going low is the way I see it of saying, hey. I'm not coming in with my an agenda. My agenda is to love. Wow. You know, my agenda is support.
Speaker 4:And I like one guy, I know who, works up in Portland. He said the best way to convince a school that you don't have an agenda is to not have an agenda.
Speaker 3:Yeah. That
Speaker 2:makes sense. Makes sense.
Speaker 4:You know? And so and that's you know, and it does take, you know, in in these in that kind of setting, it does take some trust building with the school and with the principal and with the teachers. Those, like, hey, what are you really here for? You know? Are you here to check off some box?
Speaker 4:Are you here to, like, say, you know, I did this? Are you really here to love and support a student? Over time, we can really show that, and that opens a lot of doors. I mean, I've had teachers really open up to me, and I've been having moments, you know, a couple times where I prayed with a teacher. And but it came out of that basis of showing that, like, hey.
Speaker 4:I'm not here. I'm not coming here today because I have to make sure I pray for somebody, you know, out loud in person. But as I'm coming to love, and let's see what that looks like.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Wow. I'm really encouraged by, I think, the the impact that comes from men and women of God who come to love. Like, love is the agenda. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And it really speaks to the power of the love of Jesus that is beyond just a denominational affiliation. Right. But that the church is coming together in Waco to engage students on their level and engaging them in areas that will cause them to flourish in their lives regardless of whether, you know, you're leading a baptismal service in an elementary school, that these kids' lives have been changed, and there's opportunities that are available to them that weren't before. Relationships change lives. That's what we always say.
Speaker 3:Yeah. There's just 2 things that I gotta say. Like, if we start this thing in Dallas, Texas, then it came from this conversation here. And the second thing is, Steven, did you just say baptismal? Well, Michael, you're the man.
Speaker 3:Tell us how we can find out about, you and your program and what's going on down here in Waco.
Speaker 4:Great. So the easiest way is to go to our website starsbookclubs.com, and we've got just information about what we do, why we do it, and ways to people can donate or ways if they're in the Waco area. We're still looking. We always have more kids asking to be in book club and asking for a mentor than we have mentors to meet with them. And so I would love for people here in the area to to jump in with us or, you know, anyone to give and support the ministry.
Speaker 4:You know, we but that vision has really expanded beyond, hey. These 2 schools being a model, now our vision is that Waco would be a model Yeah. And say, hey. This was a city like a lot of other cities with a struggling school district with a, you know, lack of a lot of positive role models, a lot of kids' lives. And it was the people of God that stepped in and turned it around.
Speaker 4:And so that's our vision for Waco, and that's our hope that we can see, you know, replicated across the country.
Speaker 2:It's amazing. Alright. Well, be sure to check out our show notes so you can connect with Michael Jeter and everything they're doing here in Waco. And, yeah, I would encourage you to go to starsbookclubs.com to read more about what they're doing. And maybe after listening to this episode, you're gonna start the next book club.
Speaker 2:You're gonna change the lives of kids in your city, your community. And so, Michael, thank you so much for being on the podcast. Absolutely. And and if if you didn't learn anything from Michael Jeter today in this awesome amazing episode, just let it be this. You can mentor.