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This Jewish Inspiration Podcast is dedicated to learning, understanding and enhancing our relationship with Hashem by working on improving our G-d given soul traits and aspiring to reflect His holy name each and every day. The goal is for each listener to hear something inspirational with each episode that will enhance their life.
You're listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe of Torch in Houston, Texas. This is the Jewish Inspiration Podcast.
And now my dear friends, we're on day 114 on page 658 in the Treasure for Life edition of the Orcha Siddiquim in the Gate of Silence. Be-ka-meh me-ko mos tovah shtiko. There are many situations in which silence is exceedingly good. Ki-gon odom she-po-gaz bo midas ha-din, such as a person who encounters the attribute of justice where G-d afflicts them with pain, G-d tests them with certain challenges, like we see with Aaron.
Kemo be-aron, tekh-seh vayidom Aaron. In the case of Aaron, what happened to Aaron, the high priest? Two of his sons died abruptly because they brought an offering that was not welcomed by the Almighty. What was Aaron's response when he found out that his two sons, his two precious sons, were dead? What happened? Aaron was silent. He was silent. Vayidom Aaron. V'im shoma b'nei adam she-mecharpim oso yishtok. The second person who is praised for keeping silence is someone who people are insulting him.
People insult you and you keep silent? Very, very good thing. Don't argue back, don't yell back at them, or I'm going to stand up for them, or stand up for myself. Take it. Why do you take it? He says silence in the face of insult is a very, very great virtue. We also say to those who curse, let my soul be silent. Our sages tell us amazing things that come upon a person who is silent in the face of insult.
People come to insult you and you remain silent? You're forgiven of all your sins. Someone embarrasses you, tells you, oh you this, you that, you're a child, whatever people can insult. People have many ways to insult someone that they don't like, someone they're jealous of sometimes, and you remain silent. There's someone who once came to a holy rabbi and said I need a blessing, I don't know what to do. Someone just humiliated me in public. The rabbi asked him,
and what did you say in return? He said, I said nothing. He says, and you came to me for a blessing? He says, put, the rabbi said, put your hands above my head and I want you to give me a blessing. So what are you talking about? He says the Talmud says that someone who's insulted, someone who's hurt publicly and does not embarrass in return, all of their sins are forgiven. He says you're one of the purest, holiest people alive today. You have no sin. All of your sins
have been forgiven. That's the person I need to get a blessing from. It's a very, very powerful thing. Someone's able to remain silent. They just embarrassed you. They said you're a terrible driver in front of everybody. You didn't, you didn't answer back. They said that you are, you know, you're such a this and you're such a that, whatever people, someone may have said. Oh my, and you kept quiet? That's, that's amazing. He says it's a very important thing to remain silent in the restroom, in the lavatory, which is modesty.
He says another thing, another area of being silent, the halacha, by the way, says not to talk in the restroom. It's not modest. It's not proper. He says, what needs a great focus is not to talk in synagogue. He says in synagogue, even the words of Torah should not be discussed during the time of prayer. Why? Because it will distract you, it will distract others from prayer. People need to concentrate with their heart, with their full heart in prayer, and when someone is
talking, it's going to distract them. He says, when you're sitting among wise people, remain silent and listen to the other, other people speak. Why? Because when you're quiet, when you're silent, you will learn things you didn't know. The problem is, is that people talk too much. They don't listen. So they don't learn what they should have learned. When you're busy talking, you don't increase in your own wisdom because you're busy talking. You're not listening to others.
The only time he says that you should speak is that when you don't understand what they're saying. One second, rabbi, what did you mean by that? What did you say? I don't understand. That's a very good type of talk to inquire, to understand more, but not to just talk and talk and talk. Oh yeah, by the way, it's very interesting, the Talmud says, the Mishnah actually says this, if someone asks your rabbi a question and you answer in front of, before your rabbi,
you're worthy of death. Now, they're not going to hang you for that. But what does that mean? It's a heavenly decree. Why? Because someone who's a real student is always interested in wisdom. You should be interested in wisdom. You're not going to learn wisdom when you're talking. And if you talk in front of your rabbi, you definitely don't value his wisdom. And that is a major offense. You're a teacher, you're a master, you're going to talk in front
of him? You're going to talk, you're going to answer the, someone comes and asks a question, you give the answer? That's completely inappropriate. I remember that when I was standing with my rabbi, actually not long ago, I was standing with my rabbi and someone came and asked him a quick question and I was like, don't say a word, don't say a word. You're not supposed to talk in front of your rabbi. You're supposed to let your rabbi speak.
You're supposed to let your rabbi talk. I need to hear from him. Perhaps he's going to give an answer that's unique, that's different, that opens up a whole new channel of thoughts that I didn't think of in advance. That's why we have teachers. So they can teach us how to learn. They can teach us how to understand. That is the key. That is the essence of our growth. And if one is sitting
among the wise, he should be quiet and listen to their words. For when he is quiet, he hears what he did not know. And when he speaks, he does not grow in knowledge. If he's in doubt with what the sages are saying, he should ask them for remaining silent in such a time is very bad. As by the way, the Mishna says, someone who's shy, someone who's embarrassed, of asking and inquiring will never learn. You'll never learn because you can't ask. If you can't
ask, you're going to just going to stay with a mediocre understanding at best. He says, this kind of silence is not good. King Salmon, the wisest of all men of blessed memory said, there's a time to be silent and there's a time to speak. He says, there are times when speech is very good and there are times that silence is very good. But what else did King Salmon teach us? If you cannot find someone who can teach you, what is Musa? Musa is the proper guidance in how to
live life, how to overcome certain traits, how to be a better person. You don't know. I don't know what to do. The best thing is to remain silent, lest you speak foolishness. He says, because the tongue is extremely light in speaking, one must be careful to weigh down the tongue to keep it from speaking. He says, an abundance of words is like a heavy burden, and the heaviness of an abundance of words is greater than that of an abundance of silence. You hear your friend speaking,
don't interrupt. Remain silent till they conclude. Why should a person remain silent till his friend speaks? Because the verse states in Proverbs, if one answers before he has heard, it is foolish of him and shameful. Meaning how many times are we in a conversation and we realize, I've seen so many of such conversations, myself included in such conversations prior to learning this chapter of course, that each person in the conversation is thinking about what they're going to say next. They're not even listening to what
the person says. It's just like, oh yeah, and the next person is going, and each person is just slinging back their ideas or their knowledge or whatever, without even actually listening to what someone is saying. Someone who's accustomed to this trait of silence is going to be protected from many transgressions. What are those transgressions? He says, what is the transgressions that a person will protect themselves from? Like we mentioned before, flattery, mockery, slander, falsehood, and from insults. If a person is able to remain silent,
it is a great, great protector to ensure that they don't insult people, they don't say things which are false. If one shames and insults you and you answer them, then you'll get a double portion of that shame and embarrassment and insult. And so the sages said, I hear something which is bad and I keep quiet. Why would you stay quiet? The people asked him. He answered them. He says, why would I not answer the person who insults me? He says, if I answer the insulter,
I am afraid I will hear insults far worse than the first time. And he said, when a fool contends with a wise person and the wise one keeps quiet, this is a great response to the fool. He says, for a fool is more distressed by the silence of the wise than if the wise one would answer him. You know, I always give this parable, I tell my children, when does a fight begin? When does a fight begin? The fight begins when the second one punches back. If someone punches you,
that, by the way, not only physically, with words too, someone hurls a slur at you, take it. Because the minute you answer back, now it's a fight. Now the gloves come off. Now you punched back. Now it's a brawl. Okay, someone said something. Okay, they insulted, big deal. Oh, go back at them. I'm going to teach them. Nothing good. That's when it becomes a fight. You don't answer back. That's the greatest insult to the unwise, to the foolish people.
A friend of mine told me that he started getting into the habit of drafting emails or drafting texts. So sometimes he would see something happen, whether it be in a community, in the congregation, it happens with friends, it happens in politics, you're on Twitter, oh my gosh, I'm going to write him, I'm going to tell him, I'm going to, right? He says, my friend told me, I draft, I don't send. I draft, I got it out of my system and now I can
delete it. Okay, I got it out. You got it out, great. You have to, you have to throw it? No, it's, you don't have to throw, you don't have to sling the mud. Because at the end, when you sling the mud, everyone gets muddy. Everyone gets muddy. Nobody is, is protected from it. This is what King Solomon says in Proverbs, do not answer the fool according to his foolishness. Don't, don't, don't go down to his level. Furthermore, one is able to reveal
secrets to you since you're not a very talkative person and he's not concerned that you're going to reveal the secret. Someone who is cautious with his words and is silent doesn't speak negatively about others, right? Such a person will not be prone to tailbearing. As King Solomon teaches us in Proverbs, that death and life are in the power of the tongue. Death and life in the power of the tongue. This is unbelievable, the teachings of King Solomon
and what our author here is, is sharing with us. A person can do with his tongue or tweet more than someone does with a sword. Imagine how many people can you hurt with words. A sword, you can stab one person, maybe you hurt him, maybe you don't, maybe they bleed, maybe they don't, maybe you kill them, maybe you don't. With words you can murder people left and right. King Solomon says life and death are in the hands, are in the power of the tongue.
He says words can damage and hurt somebody who's far away from you, while a sword can only hurt someone who's nearby. Well today we know we have rockets, as we know there are ballistic missiles flying. Thank God it's been quiet, I haven't heard any alarms tonight, but it's devastating. You can harm someone 2,000 kilometers away, 1,800 miles away, that's a terrible thing. But here what the author is saying is a sword particularly, a sword is very hard for you to
hurt someone with a sword when they're not nearby, but words you can kill someone across the world, across the globe. Therefore man was created with two eyes, two ears, two nostrils, and yet only one mouth. Our sages tell us this is to teach us that we should minimize our speech, we should speak half of what we listen. It says that silence is worthy of the wise, even more so for the fools. Silence is good for the wise, it's even better for the fools.
As the Mishnah tells us in Ethics of Our Fathers, the guide of wisdom is silence. The universal remedy is silence. And here my dear friends we conclude day number 114, what an incredible journey we started tonight. Those of you online here on Zoom, thank you so much for joining us, it is a real pleasure. And those of you on Facebook, YouTube, Twitter, Twitch, Kick, all the other platforms, thank you so much. It really is awesome to learn with all y'all. Have a magnificent evening.
You've been listening to Rabbi Aryeh Wolbe on a podcast produced by TORCH, the Torah Outreach Resource Center of Houston. Please help sponsor an episode so we can continue to produce more quality Jewish content for our listeners around the globe. Please visit torchweb.org to donate and partner with us on this incredible endeavor.