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The So Good Sisterhood podcast is all about investing in every girl from every generation. It's an opportunity to have relevant conversations every month around living intentionally, leading confidently, and loving generously—leaving you saying "That's so good!"
When we honor, like, when there's an atmosphere of honor in our home, in our relationships, in our workplaces Right. In our schools, that actually unleashes. It creates this environment where the Holy Spirit's quite at home. Right. And when he's quite at home is when he does his best work.
Speaker 2:That's right. And I think for that to happen, we have to make a a choice to choose honor because honor is not a feeling you have. It's gonna be a choice you make, a commitment you make towards the other person.
Speaker 1:Hey, everyone. Welcome back to the So Good Sisterhood podcast. I'm your host, Julie Mullins, and my husband, Todd, and I pastor Christ Fellowship Church together. The So Good Sisterhood podcast is all about investing in every girl from every generation to live intentionally, lead confidently, and love generously. And hopefully, it will leave you saying, that was so good.
Speaker 1:Well, hey, everyone. Welcome back to the So Good Sisterhood podcast. We are so honored that you're joining us today. And I'm really excited because today we have our very first ever So Good Sisterhood and Crew Cast collaboration podcast. It's gonna be amazing.
Speaker 1:That's right. I've got my favorite pastor actually, my favorite human
Speaker 2:Good. In the in the
Speaker 1:studio today. Todd's joining me, and we're really excited about jumping into this conversation today. But before we jump in, I just feel like I have to set the record straight on something because, Todd, you preached an incredible Easter message to a lot of people a couple weeks ago. But you told this story and there were a couple of things that I really didn't get to weigh in on.
Speaker 2:Our engagement story?
Speaker 1:It was our engagement story. So just kind of a recap. Right. I remember it well. Off and on all the way through high school.
Speaker 1:Right? So definitely more off than on. When we are for our went our separate ways for college, and Todd comes home on a winter break. And
Speaker 2:We well, I I just knew, like, at the end of that break, I'm like, I've gotta marry her. Like, I don't need to talk about it. We didn't talk about it.
Speaker 1:You didn't talk about it.
Speaker 2:I went out and bought a ring.
Speaker 1:We were not no. We weren't holding hands.
Speaker 2:No. No. No. We weren't dating.
Speaker 1:For 18 months, we had just written a few letters back and forth. Right? Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah. But we had just spent the last couple weeks together a lot, hanging out, playing tennis, going to movies, eating out. That was fun. And I'm like so I'm getting ready to head back to Indiana, the cold, frigid North Midwest. And I'm like, I gotta let her know how I'm feeling, and I wanna make sure nobody else moves in on Mhmm.
Speaker 2:My girl. So I went out and bought a ring, and, yeah, I got down on one knee and
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Popped the question.
Speaker 1:And I was like, no way. Yeah. Are you kidding me? Are you joking? And then you added this little part.
Speaker 1:You said that, but when she grabbed me and she kissed me, I was like, babe, that didn't happen.
Speaker 2:No. It did. In in my imagination, in my in my memory, it did.
Speaker 1:It was not how it happened. Okay. I did not grab you. You know? Finally, you said, hey.
Speaker 1:I think you wanted
Speaker 2:to grab me.
Speaker 1:No. He said, finally, I I you said, you know, can I kiss you? And Yeah. That's when I gave in. And we always, you know, joke the part of the story we don't tell very often is that, as soon as the initial shock wore off and I broke up with the other guy that I was kind of in an on again off again relationship with, you know, I said yes.
Speaker 1:And Which is kinda
Speaker 2:your thing, I guess.
Speaker 1:I I guess not. But hey. But we've had a a great run so far. But we're excited about today's podcast because we're gonna be jumping into a conversation that is really important. We actually speak on this often and preach on this often because it's such a critical subject for us as followers of Jesus.
Speaker 1:But, you know, we kicked off the year this year, and our word for the year is the word encounter. And we've been praying that we would have an encounter with Jesus that would mark us in such a way that our lives would be changed, our families would be changed, that our church would be changed, right, marked by an encounter of the Holy Spirit that is going to change radically change our lives. And today, we're gonna be jumping into encountering Jesus through relationships, through the people that he has put in our lives to grow us and to change us and to mark us. Right? So we talk about this.
Speaker 1:Otto, I'd love for you to just share a little bit. Why do you think this is such an important, you know, really discussion to have?
Speaker 2:Well, it's important to start by going, god is a relational god. Mhmm. When you think about god godfather, godson, god holy spirit, 3 in 1, he is a relational god, and we have been created in his image and created for relationship. When you think about when god created Adam and Eve, he created them to be in relationship together, to walk together in the garden, to know him, to be known by him. And so, like, down in our DNA, it is hardwired within us that we are made for relationships.
Speaker 2:We're hardwired for relationships. And to the point that when our relationships are good, life is good. Like, there can be things that are bad. Mhmm. But when like, I know between you and me, when this is good, like, when you and I are good, we're good.
Speaker 2:A lot of other things could be pressing in on us. But if this ever gets bad or gets a little wonky or a little off, man, it doesn't matter how good everything else can be. This isn't good.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And I think most of us down deep, we know that we've been wired this way. And then you just go to the scripture, Psalm 133. Behold how good and how pleasant it is when brothers and sisters, husbands and wives, parents and kids get together and and and work together and live together in unity, for there, the lord commands a blessing. There's just a blessing Mhmm. That comes when our relationships are right, and that blessing is commanded by god over our lives.
Speaker 2:And I think as we're jumping into this, what we really want is everybody to be able to experience god's blessing in the relationship. So no matter what relationship, what we're gonna talk about has a lot to do with, you know, husbands and wives or maybe parents and and kids. But, really, regardless of of the relationship, what we want is god's blessing in that relationship.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Yeah. When you think about it, our greatest joys in life, like, you think about the time when you've said, it just doesn't get any better than this. Yeah. You probably weren't by yourself.
Speaker 1:Yeah. You were with someone right. Right. Or the times when things can't be any worse than they are right now. Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, that that probably there was somebody involved
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:With the problem that you're having. It's relationships are really the source of our greatest joy Mhmm. And our greatest struggles. Yep. And so central to our lives as believers, when you think about Jesus when he gave the greatest commandment
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:That we're to love God with all our heart, soul, mind, and strength, and?
Speaker 2:Love your neighbor as you love yourself.
Speaker 1:Neighbor as you love yourself.
Speaker 2:Hinge together.
Speaker 1:The hinged together. They cannot be separated. I don't think it's because loving your neighbor is more important. You know, I think sometimes in our culture, it's it's like, what are we doing for other people? It's it's not that it's more important.
Speaker 1:It's just how our love for God is expressed is through our love for people, how it's manifested, how people are even gonna know.
Speaker 2:Yep.
Speaker 1:Because they're not in our prayer closet in the morning as we're praying to him. You know, they're not in the worship service. But, but that's how they're gonna know. Yeah. It's how we
Speaker 2:And to be honest, it's really how God works out our sanctification and becoming more like Jesus. It's the rub on rub, life on life Yeah. The things that actually refine us is it doesn't happen if you stay secluded somewhere Right. You know, and you don't get into relationships and into the mess of relationships. It's where those things that kinda get brought to the surface that need to be worked out.
Speaker 1:And I think it's actually one of the greatest evangelistic strategies when you think that the word of God says that that they're gonna know the world's gonna know that we're believers by our loved one for another.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:Right? It's not because of how many bible verses we read, even though that's important, you know, or how many times a day we pray, which is very, very important, but it really is going to be about how we love each other. So this is really, like, central and critical to our to our faith walk and our faith journey. And, when I think about this, I think that these are hard, but relationships aren't always easy. And I think sometimes because we sometimes take our relational cues from what we see on TV or Netflix that we think, and we buy into the lie that that relationships should be easy.
Speaker 1:They should come naturally. Right? Like, you know, you meet that person. For the first time, there's so much chemistry. Conversation is really, really easy.
Speaker 1:And it's just like, this must be meant to be because, you know, this is this is just easy and natural. Right? But as soon as it becomes difficult, the conversation stops. I find out that that person doesn't believe everything I believe, doesn't vote the way I vote. You know?
Speaker 1:And then conversation might get a little bit, you know after the honeymoon phase might might be a little stretched. A lot of times, people bail on relationships as soon as they get difficult.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:And, you know, sometimes we don't think we believe that lie, but all you have to do is ask yourself the question when you're thinking about your marriage relationship or your relationship with your kids, you know, why does it have to be this hard? Have you ever asked yourself that? Yeah. Why is this so hard? Well, it's hard because relationships are hard.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Right.
Speaker 1:And and I, you know, I think we think it's supposed to come naturally. But when you think about it, I have never known anyone who just naturally drifted into a great marriage
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Or naturally drifted into a relationship that just doesn't happen.
Speaker 2:Right. It's the truth is I think the greatest relationships are completely unnatural.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Because they are supernatural. They have to depend the the way god wants us to love them. We are able to love in our human abilities. And so it's it's unnatural to wanna forgive somebody
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Over and over again. That's unnatural. Right? That requires a supernatural impartation of the spirit of God. It's it's unnatural to to wanna put the other person before yourself.
Speaker 2:I mean, even after we've been married as many years as we've been married, it is not natural for me to want to do that. It is it is supernatural. It is God's nature. It's not Todd's nature. And so if I'm relying on Todd's nature to love you the way and put you first and forgive you, all the things I'm supposed to do, it's gonna fall short.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. So, again, it goes back to this. It's relying on the nature of god Mhmm. And allowing his nature and his presence of the spirit of god to actually influence how we love and how we forgive and how we talk to each other.
Speaker 1:Yeah. And because it doesn't come naturally, we have to actually fight for it.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 1:This is actually a battle for a good relationship. Right. Right? And again, I don't think this is just marriage or just parenthood, but, you know, it's not gonna be easy and relationships having Christ centered relationships that are going to really, I mean, be the greatest source of joy and fulfillment in our lives Mhmm. And conform us more into the nature of Christ.
Speaker 1:To have that kind of relationship, we're gonna have to fight for that. And this really is like a spiritual battle. Right?
Speaker 2:It is. Yeah. We've talked about this before just recently about how we wrestle not against flesh and blood. So even the hard things in relationships and when relationships get hard, because even the best of relationships, the best of marriages, there's times it gets hard or frustrating. You gotta realize we have a real enemy that is wanting to rob, kill, and destroy, wanting to rob you of joy, wanting to rob your relationship of peace, wanting to rob your future, wanting to rob your marriage, wanting to rob you and your kids from all of it.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. And so once you recognize who the real enemy is, then you can go on the attack, and you can actually fight for Mhmm. The joy and the peace and the blessing that God wants to actually bring into your relationship. But if you don't realize it's a fight, you're gonna lose every time.
Speaker 1:Yeah. We
Speaker 2:gotta be fight ready.
Speaker 1:I know. And, you know, sometimes in relationships, it's really easy to be defensive. Right? You know, is is be defensive. Talk
Speaker 2:about that.
Speaker 1:Yeah. Relationships are hard. So even when you've been married a lot, I can't. Keep it real, girl. Yeah.
Speaker 1:But, you know, I can be defensive. Right? But I think sometimes that I'm defensive because I'm not prepared for the battle. We start coasting a little bit. And instead of being defensive and always reacting to the struggles that come our way or just the fiery darts like the word of God says.
Speaker 1:Yeah. You know? How do we go on the offense? Right? Yep.
Speaker 1:And what are some, you know as a pastor, pastor Todd, and husband Todd, how can we be more on the offense than we are on the defense?
Speaker 2:We're not talking about being offensive. We're talking about going on the offense
Speaker 1:that. Yeah.
Speaker 2:In the battle here and getting a battle strategy and getting a plan. And I think the the biggest thing that we can do, as followers of Jesus Christ, is just make sure that we're first fighting the right enemy. Right? Yeah. That it's not the other person.
Speaker 2:It's not your spouse. But then, actually, inviting the person and the power of god into your relationship. Like, I'm I'm shocked that so many times we try to go at this alone. We try to do this without inviting daily moment by moment the presence, the person, the power of the Holy Spirit into the marriage, into the relationship with the kids, into the home, and actually creating an environment where god is quite at home, creating an environment where god is actually working and and can work. And so, you know, one of the simplest ways to do that is just make prayer a natural part of your time together and spend time praying together.
Speaker 2:It doesn't have to be a 30 minute prayer meeting.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:Right. It can be man, you're gonna pray together before everybody runs out of the house. I remember my mom every morning as we were leaving for school when we would the bus would come. While we're just standing there waiting for the bus, instead of just not doing anything, she'd pray over us. Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And then when we got older, she'd say, okay, Todd, you pray. Now, Noelle, you pray. And so she'd drive us to school, and she just say, okay. We're gonna pray right now before as we're getting close to the school, before I drop you off. And she's prayed blessing over us and just made it normal Mhmm.
Speaker 2:And and, and invited when you do that, you invite the presence of God into that relationship. Husband and wife. Man, it doesn't have to be a like I said, an hour prayer service.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:But take in 5 minutes at the end of the day or before you head out Mhmm. And just praying for each other, praying with each other. And then, you know, don't leave it there. Throughout the day, pray for one another as the as and what you're doing is you're actually just inviting the Lord into that Yeah. Into that relationship.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. You and I were talking about how our families grew up a little bit differently, and my my parents had we had family devotions. Mhmm. That wasn't every night we had family devotions, but Yeah. I can remember, you know, a couple nights a week where we'd all sit down and mom or dad would read a scripture and we talk about it for a few minutes.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. Wasn't weird. It wasn't like, oh, because they're pastors, because at that time, they weren't pastors. Mhmm. It was just they were trying to make talking about God and the things of God and the word of God normal in a family setting.
Speaker 2:Mhmm. And so for you, someone's listening, you might wanna, like, just have a couple questions at dinner time that you're gonna say, hey. What's what's God been showing you lately? Or what scripture have you been reading? Or, hey.
Speaker 2:I've been reading this scripture, and I thought how that applied to what we're going through as a family. And you just bring God into the conversation, and I think that is going on the offense Yeah. And creating a spiritual atmosphere in the home. Because here's what I know. If you're not creating a place where the spirit of God is at home in your home, by default, you are creating a place where another spirit is at home at your home Mhmm.
Speaker 2:By what we're allowing on TV or whatever, you know, the talk or the way we're treating each other. It's just allowing a different spirit that is not the spirit of Christ Mhmm. In our relationships, in our homes. And so as as husbands and wives, as parents, we've gotta go on the offense and we've gotta set the spirit of Christ be at home in my home.
Speaker 3:Hey, everyone. Carissa here. You know, one of my favorite things I love most about the podcast is the conversations I get to have with my friends. From favorite quotes to so good moments to devotionals, Show Notes Plus gives me the opportunity to discuss and dive deeper into the content. It's also a great way to stay up to date on everything happening in sisterhood.
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Speaker 1:You know, I love what you said is that this doesn't have to be complicated, lengthy devotions. It's just finding ways throughout the day in normal conversation. And you said before you walk out the door, pray for 5 minutes. Well, 5 minutes doesn't even always happen for us. Yes.
Speaker 1:We're supposed to, you know, be pastors in spiritual, but there's sometimes, like, God bless him. Prayer. Yes. Oh, Lord, help him in this meeting that he's going in. Yep.
Speaker 1:Or we just text each other, you know, and just say, hey, I'm praying for you today, or we'll text a time that we're both praying for the same thing.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:And it's really just bringing an environment or an atmosphere of prayer, making it normal and natural Right. And and letting your kids see that.
Speaker 2:Right? Yeah. It's really important.
Speaker 1:Really important that we don't just leave Jesus at the beginning of the day before we walk out the door, but, you know, inviting him into every area and and creating an atmosphere where, you know, where we're able to do that. You know, we talk about going on the offensive, and you just said it's creating an atmosphere in your home
Speaker 2:Yeah. Come on.
Speaker 1:Where the spirit of God is quite at home. Yeah. Right? And this isn't easy. We're gonna have to fight for it.
Speaker 1:But when I when I think about going on the offense, and we've shared this before, but I I go back to just a really beautiful principle in the word of God. And I think when I think back at our marriage vows, you know, that on that day we said I do, we had no idea what we we just did. Right? I said I do to all these things. I had no idea.
Speaker 1:You know, in sickness and in health, I'd never had a sick day in my life, you
Speaker 2:know, in
Speaker 1:for richer, for poorer. You know, like We've never been rich. We have never been rich, but we had no college debt. So we know we we we had never had a bill we couldn't pay yet. Now we've had Yeah.
Speaker 1:We've walked that journey. Yeah. You know, now there's been some sickness. But I think the most broken wedding vow is that one that says that we're gonna honor. Right?
Speaker 1:Yep. Because you think about when you first get married, you're like, oh, honey. What can I do for you? Okay.
Speaker 2:I'll do anything for you. Do anything you want. You know. And then you
Speaker 1:And then it's like, you know, a month then you're like, hey. You got 2 feet? Go get that drink for yourself. I mean, a lot of times we just get casual and comfortable, and it's a vow. I mean, like, if we go back and look at that vow, and I think it's there for a reason.
Speaker 1:Mhmm. You know, when you think about our culture is so void of honor, every, you know, every show you turn on is disrespecting the dad and the family.
Speaker 2:Disrespecting authority.
Speaker 1:Disrespecting authority. Kids, you know, that are ruling the roost. I mean, it's there's so much dishonor. I mean, you look at every political speech, it's just full of dishonor. Right?
Speaker 1:But even though honor is absent in culture, it's very present in the word of God. 100 and 47 times
Speaker 2:Wow.
Speaker 1:Honor is mentioned. And almost all of those times it's mentioned is about relationships with other people.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:You know, honor your mother and father.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Honor those who are in authority over you. Honor your husband. Honor your wife. And so when I think about that honor, I really do believe that it is something so, absent in culture and so that needs to be present in order create this atmosphere where the spirit of God
Speaker 2:can work.
Speaker 1:And that's what we're talking about. You know, when when you look at the scriptures in Mark chapter 6, there's a story of Jesus when he shows up in his hometown. In the chapter prior to that, he had been doing miracles. He was raising people from the dead, healing the sick. Lame people were dancing.
Speaker 1:It was just his ministry was on fire. And he goes back into his hometown in Mark chapter 6, and when he's there, there are, you know, it's his hometown folks, and they're like, who is this man? Isn't this the the the one who my son went to school with? Or isn't this the son of Mary Joseph, a carpenter? And it says in that passage that Jesus could not perform miracles there.
Speaker 1:It does not say he would not. He wasn't offended by what they were saying. It says he could not. Somehow, in that dishonor, that that atmosphere of dishonor, Jesus was was not offended. He was constrained.
Speaker 1:And I don't really understand that, but he was not able to do the work that he came to do. You know, the miracles that he wanted to perform. And sometimes I think, you know, what what supernatural work might we be missing out on in our marriage, in our home, in our relationships, not because of of sin, but just because of dishonor. And that word dishonor, it just means to treat someone as common and ordinary in that original language from that scripture. And it doesn't mean to treat them mean or nasty, although that's dishonorable.
Speaker 2:Sure.
Speaker 1:But just treating someone as common and ordinary, and and I wonder if an atmosphere of dishonor disrupts the supernatural. Mhmm. What an atmosphere of honor Yeah. Could unleash in the supernatural. Yep.
Speaker 1:Right? Because that word honor in the original language, in the Greek, it actually means to treat as precious and valuable and weighty, to give weight and value to what Jesus valued most.
Speaker 2:Right. And
Speaker 1:what did who did Jesus value most? People. He valued people. Yeah. And when we honor, when there's an atmosphere of honor in our home, in our relationships, in our workplaces, in our schools, that actually unleashes it.
Speaker 1:It creates this environment where the Holy Spirit's quite at home. Right. And when he's quite at home is when he does his best work.
Speaker 2:That's right. And I think for that to happen, we have to make a a a choice to choose honor because honor is not a feeling you have. It's gonna be a choice you make, a commitment you make Mhmm. Towards the other person. And and there is a difference between honor and respect.
Speaker 2:Respect has to be earned, and there can be things that break down that piece. But honor is when you give that honor to the relationship because of that the your love for that person or for that person's place in your life in that relationship. And so I'm going to honor you, and I'm gonna make that choice to actually do things and say things that are gonna be honoring you.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I love that. It's a choice. And I think it's also, one of the most powerful gifts you can give your relationship.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:It's such a gift because honor can't be demanded. No. It's something that we can give. It can't be demanded. If I said, you need to honor me.
Speaker 1:You need to submit to me. You know? That that's not that doesn't work so well.
Speaker 2:No. I tried it, I think, once.
Speaker 1:It does take 2. But honor is what you can give.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:It is it's it's choosing. There's choices you can make. It's it's choosing in a relationship. And I'll I'll just, you know, unpack marriage relationship first, it's choosing to champion someone's strengths over their weaknesses. Good.
Speaker 1:It's it's looking to champion their strengths, to talk about their strengths. I know a lot of times, you know, it's so easy, especially in marriage, because we're you know, that's the closest human to us. Right? I mean, in in ministry, sometimes, you know, we can be so busy loving and serving humanity that we forget to love and serve the humans that are closest to us
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:That are right down the hall from us or sleeping in the bed with us. Yeah. And when we talk about honor, we talk about choosing to champion the other person's strengths over their weaknesses. And many times, you know, we can easily point out what's wrong. And I've heard someone say once, well, my husband isn't the spiritual leader in our home that he needs to be.
Speaker 1:And just really berating her husband, And I'm going, what is he not doing? Well, he he doesn't lead in family prayer and devotions. I said, but what what does he do? You know, he works hard and provides for the family. So when you choose to champion, you know, that biblical principle of hard work Yeah.
Speaker 1:You know, and you say, man, kids, I mean, isn't your dad amazing, the way that he works so hard to provide for our family? Did you see the way that he just generously gives of his time to other people? And when you choose to call out the God thing and honor their strengths, I really believe that you get you you get what you speak to. You get more of what of what you're looking for. Right?
Speaker 2:It's about focusing and highlighting the good.
Speaker 1:Yes.
Speaker 2:What's what's there that's good, then what might you think is missing. Mhmm. Because if all you do is, god, they never do this or you never do this, and that's all you speak, that's all you see.
Speaker 1:Yep. That's right.
Speaker 2:But if you actually begin to call out the good
Speaker 1:and see the good and
Speaker 2:and thank god for the good and thank you for always doing this.
Speaker 1:Right.
Speaker 2:I have witnessed it in our relationship. I've wished witnessed it in, my relationship with other people on Team Mary Church friendships that every time we choose honor, every time we choose Mhmm. To focus on that, it just brings a different spirit
Speaker 1:It does.
Speaker 2:To the relationship.
Speaker 1:Yeah. I agree. And it also helps us, right, to see the other person the way God sees them
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:And to honor them the way that God would honor them. And, you know, I just think it's such a power tool. Right? Honor is like a power tool, while you're working out your relationship. I think another way that we can choose honor is that we choose not to compare.
Speaker 1:Mhmm. We choose never to compare our spouse with somebody else. I think that a lot of times, we'll compare even physical comparison. You know? And and a lot of times, you know, what we see in culture, an unrealistic, you know, physical appearance, sometimes we, you know, we compare our spouse or, to that.
Speaker 1:It's such a killer. Right? I mean, when you when you think about what Theodore Roosevelt said, you know, comparison is a thief of joy. Yeah. And I really believe that when you compare your spouse to somebody else, you know, look what he does for his wife or what she does for her husband.
Speaker 1:Right. I think it robs your relationship of the joy. It does. And when the joy of the lord is our strength, that a joyless marriage is going to be a weak marriage.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:And when you compare, it just completely robs the joy out of relationship. I love this scripture in Song of Solomon 68. It says, there is no one like you on earth. There never has been. There never will be.
Speaker 1:You are a man beyond compare.
Speaker 2:Hey. Hey.
Speaker 1:Don't you love that? Yeah.
Speaker 2:I like that.
Speaker 1:Actually says you are a woman beyond compare I know. In the scripture. But comparison is like poison. Right? And when your spouse knows that there is no one that compares to them and that we actually have the gift and the privilege, the sacred privilege, of helping our spouse become someone they could have never become on their own.
Speaker 1:That's the up close and privilege that we get to do, and there's no one greater than them. I just think it really just adds fuel and honor into the relationship.
Speaker 2:That's great. Yeah. Another way that we can help create a spirit of honor in our relationships is we have to speak words of honor.
Speaker 1:Yeah.
Speaker 2:So the words that we actually say, they matter so much. And, if you've been around Christ Fellowship long, you've heard us reference Proverbs 1821, words kill, words give life. They're either poison or fruit, and you get to choose. Right.
Speaker 1:What
Speaker 2:so what's great is that you actually get to choose what words you're gonna speak over your marriage, what words you're gonna speak over your kids, over your friendships, and those words can be words of honor Yeah. That actually bring the spirit of Christ and the blessing of Christ and the supernatural work of God into that home.
Speaker 1:Yeah. We've seen it. We've seen it work. So choosing to be honorable. We've talked about, you know, creating atmosphere of honor.
Speaker 1:It's really easy for us to begin looking at the other person and go, well, my husband doesn't honor me or my wife doesn't honor me. They're they're not being honoring. And so I think that one of the things that we have to recognize is that, you know, honor starts with us. Good. Right?
Speaker 1:If we if we're we're 50% of every relationship we're in. So if we get better at this, like, our relationship's gonna automatically get 50% better. Right? And so I think it starts with being honorable, like, being honorable. And, Todd, I would just say this is probably one of the greatest gifts you've given our relationship, is that you have been honorable.
Speaker 1:You've never given me a reason not to trust you. Mhmm. Right? I can pick up your phone Yep. Anytime and read your text
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Or your email. Yep. You you've not given me any reason. I think that that being honorable, honoring our marriage that way, you've never you've never compared me to anybody else. Like, you've taken that scripture to heart.
Speaker 1:I don't think you knew that scripture when we first got married, but you you haven't compared me. And that is that's created this atmosphere. And I remember we were speaking at a marriage conference and a question came in. A guy asked, hey, what do I do if my wife won't submit to me?
Speaker 2:Yeah. I remember that.
Speaker 1:I remember. We both laughed. We laughed. We're like, I don't know if I wanna take that question. You know, what do I do if my wife doesn't submit to you?
Speaker 2:What was interesting is he asked the question and obviously, he and his wife were both there at the marriage.
Speaker 1:Yes. They were both there. Yeah.
Speaker 2:The question with her sitting there.
Speaker 1:With her sitting there. And and the only response I could come up with was that, you know, there are some scriptures about submission, you know, that wives submit to their husbands, and there's lots about mutual submission. Right? About preferring the other person. But the only answer I could think of was that I have learned so much more about submission by the way you have honored me
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:Than I have by you telling me to submit to you, which I don't know if you actually ever ever said that. But but I really believe that many times, you know, we think we have a submission problem. We think we have a communication problem. But what we really have is an honor problem. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And when you go back to honor is actually what creates safety and security in a relationship.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:And so submission becomes secondary. Sure. Right? When honor becomes primary, submission becomes secondary because it's like when there's this atmosphere in the relationship, there is, you know, it is a scriptural principle submitting to God Sure. Submitting to each other.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:But it certainly becomes a lot more, palpable when it's not demanded. It's actually an atmosphere of just, really, what can I do to honor this person the way that they've honored me?
Speaker 2:Yeah. And just before we hop off that scripture, just so everybody knows, right before it says, wives, submit to your husbands as under the lord, it says mutually submit to one another. Mhmm. So he's talking about a mutual submission to each other. And in that same passage, he says, men love your wives as Christ loved the church and laid his life down for her.
Speaker 2:So if a man if Yeah. Me as a husband, if I'm doing that, I just need to focus on that. If I'm doing that, we're not gonna have a submission problem. Right. We're gonna we're gonna be synced up.
Speaker 2:We're gonna be moving in the same direction.
Speaker 1:Right. That's so good. Yeah. You know, I think that going on the offense with this is what we're talking about is creating this atmosphere of honor so that
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 1:Jesus and the Holy Spirit can be encountered in our relationships, all of our relationships. And part of that, I think, is that this can't be an occasional thing that we do. Okay. I'm gonna honor today, but not on Tuesday. Right?
Speaker 1:It really has to become, like, a daily habit, a daily discipline. And and making honor a daily habit, I think, is probably the key to creating this atmosphere and going on the offense in our relationships. And when I think about building a daily habit, I I have, you know, a couple of daily habits in my morning devotion time. One of them is is that I always try to write down 5 things I'm grateful And one of those, every day, I try to make one of those about you. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And so I if I write down what I'm grateful for with about you, is that later on that day, I'll try to tell you what that is. And so that's one way of trying to make it a daily habit. Many times, when I'm having a hard conflict with another person and the relationship's struggling, they're another one of my 5. What am I grateful for about that person?
Speaker 2:That's good.
Speaker 1:And how can I pray for them? So I'll write down what I'm grateful for. And sometime throughout that day, you know, even though it's we're in a difficult time, I'm gonna let them know. Is there a note or a text or, you know, just a way to honor them even in a difficult season. And I have daily declarations.
Speaker 1:Right? And you know one of these. We've said this a lot, but one of my daily declarations is about our kids. One's about our calling. One's about my relationship with Jesus.
Speaker 1:One's about you.
Speaker 2:You
Speaker 1:know, I'm gonna honor my husband by the way I look at him, by the way I talk to him, by the way I talk to others about him. I'm gonna make him glad that he married me.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Yeah.
Speaker 1:And that's my daily habit to declare it. Sometimes, you know, I'm not sure how glad you are, but but it's I'm very glad. Yeah. Declarations are aspirational. That's
Speaker 2:right. They're they're not
Speaker 1:Well, you're you're retraining.
Speaker 2:You're retraining. So if if right now, you're going, like, I don't have a great
Speaker 1:honor
Speaker 2:culture in our home or in our family and relationships, then this would be a practice, a daily practice you put in place to do this. And because you did daily declarations, I've done daily declarations and written some for the kids and some for, leading a church and different things, but one of them is for you. Gift.
Speaker 1:Mhmm.
Speaker 2:I will honor her by the way I speak to her, listen to her, and look at her. She will get my best, not my leftovers.
Speaker 1:Wow.
Speaker 2:For my kids, I put I'm a good, good father and I will remember that the greatest gift or investment I can make in my kids is a life in love with Jesus and his word. So those are just a couple of mine.
Speaker 1:Wow. I love that. I love that. And, really, what, what daily habits do is they make what used to seem impossible Mhmm. Possible.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:Right? And because the practice actually retrains our brains.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 1:It redirects our steps. Right. And that's what we wanna do, is for us, for our home, but our prayer is that for you guys that are listening, all the guys and the girls, that, that you would have relationships with your kids, with your spouses, with the people that you work with that are that are so joy filled Yeah. So filled with the presence of God that miracles can happen there, that the supernatural can happen there, that you would actually encounter Jesus in ways you never thought possible because of the way that you are that you're creating this atmosphere in the relationships that you have. And so this is this is what it's all about, and we're so we're so honored that you guys jumped on today on the podcast.
Speaker 1:Hey, if you couldn't get enough of this conversation, we're actually gonna have another collaboration. Yep. Next time, we're gonna bring in some special guests and and talk specifically about parenting and spiritual parenting and we're really excited about that. So thank you so much for joining us today, and we'll catch you next time on the So Good Sisterhood podcast. And
Speaker 2:on crew cast.
Speaker 1:Thank you for joining us today for the So Good Sisterhood podcast. If you enjoyed today's episode, don't forget to subscribe, share this podcast with a friend, or leave us a comment. We hope today's episode leaves you feeling so good.