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We talk about and get real about social media during one of the hardest times of your life. Not going into your separation and divorce with a plan for social media can really bite you in the butt.
Your no bullsh$t guide to divorce with experienced attorneys from New Direction Family Law and guests and professionals who have been there. Unfiltered discussions to help you move from victim to victorious and from bitter to better.
Elizabeth: [00:00:00] Hi everyone. I'm
Sarah: Elizabeth Stephenson and I'm Sarah Henke. Thanks for joining us today. We have a fun topic and when you're probably all very familiar
Elizabeth: with it is they're talking about social media during your separation, then
Sarah: divorce, right? In a lot of other little areas to relationships in general.
Am I how that might come bite you in the butt? So Jen is going to help us out with this one and she's dug up some fun facts for us to talk about and just get real about. Social media usage, right? Yeah. Social
Jenn: media. We love to hate it. You want to get rid of it, but, this comes out of 2019, so I'm sure after 2020, and the era of COVID that this number will go up.
But this stat was that on average users spend two hours and 22 minutes a day [00:01:00] on social media. I don't know what all they were including in social media there, but, I know the bulk of my time has been on Instagram and Facebook. So I'd argue that's probably a little
Sarah: bit higher.
Yeah. Yeah. It's higher. It's probably higher. And I was saying I started doing Twitter a lot more recently just because of news events. I don't know why it just changes. And I'll shun Facebook for a while. And obviously your age group comes out in which you use more too.
Elizabeth: 18 year old is probably six
Sarah: hours a day.
Oh. And to talk, Oh, hello. Yeah. Have you started watching. If I watch one thing on tape today, I got to watch everything. People are Lariat. I haven't gotten on
Jenn: Tik TOK, but a lot of people will put their tick talks on Instagram. So that's how I've seen it. Yeah.
Sarah: Are so creative on Tik TOK. It just blows my mind.
I love it. It's exotic on vacation last year. And after vacation, I had to delete it. Cause like you look up and it's dark. Yeah. There's so they make me laugh. I love them.
Elizabeth: Good
Sarah: thing personally, [00:02:00] that's Joe, by the way, ,
Jenn: he's the man behind the curtain.
Elizabeth: fabulous.
Jenn: I found it a couple of articles on this. And one that was just about the ways in which social media is affecting relationships, period.
And I think we've probably seen all of these, some of these in our own personal lives. I was looking at something. I was like, yep. Yup situations. Yeah. So I just wanted to run through these and we can expand whatever. And then I lead into specifically, what you guys see divorced and what as your clients to not do specifically with it.
Social media is distracting us from actually spending time with one another. And just think about how many times you've been in a room with a friend or a family member, and you guys have both got your phones out and you're scrolling through whichever social media. , the ability to stop each other.
And this one made me laugh. It's useful at work, right? Sometimes
Sarah: it helps us. Yeah.
Elizabeth: We have some really talented young folk on staff.
Sarah: And I miss having face-to-face consults in [00:03:00] person that I wanted to put my eyes on who I'm talking to. So if I'm on the phone, I will be looking at you on Facebook or trying to find you while we're doing our little introduction.
So if, I don't know, if you pop up on there, people you should friend with, if that really works that way, but.
Elizabeth: Yeah, I'm not talented enough to stall. So I don't, I've
Sarah: never done that. Yeah.
Jenn: I think it comes into play too. And you guys, again, I'll speak more to this, I'm sure with separations, if you, when you do go through a breakup, then you become obsessed with what this person is doing, or if they're dating someone new and what that new person is like and what they've got going on.
And so there's that one. Another one was that we're oversharing. I don't think. A lot of us in the office are super guilty of that. Luckily and oversharing, probably because we've learned from what other people put every waking moment of what they're doing on social media and yeah. We don't need to know.
Sarah: I honestly think a lot of this goes back to like mental health issues. They might have a certain personality type or they need a lot of attention. No
Elizabeth: wonder people are doing that [00:04:00] more because we had friends, you could call or you sit around and talk with, and now you don't. This is it? This is that.
It's all I
Sarah: got. Yeah. Someone please. Like What I made for breakfast, my
Jenn: amazing thing that looks like food, that
Sarah: it doesn't look as good in a picture as it does.
Elizabeth: I've printed so many people lately before the election, but not all I have is dog thing.
Jenn: Yeah. Yeah. You mentioned attention. That was one of the other things that was listed. And these are from mental health profile, the whole conglomerate of people, but becoming addicted to attention. And I know of a friend specifically, when she was first getting started with Instagram, she was like, if I post a picture and I get less than 40 likes and I'm disappointed, then I don't even think it's worth it.
I'm like, Hey, what
Sarah: Instagram removed? The light did shirt that showed you how many likes someone would have, like only the person who owns that picture, I guess could see it. So you couldn't say. Oh, like I post a picture then Jen post one and then, Oh my gosh. Jen has 15. So now I know I just have to, I don't know how many Jen has [00:05:00]
Elizabeth: depressed,
Sarah: Just to remind one of my favorite quotes is comparison is the thief of joy.
And if you're going around life, like always comparing yourself, you're stealing. You know your own joy away of what you have. So that's what I always, whenever I look at something like, Oh, I wish I was to loom with the, this model, that'd be like, I'm good things. And
Elizabeth: now that there are and full answers and now show you behind the scenes of what it really looks like, what they're doing, so that's a whole different topic, but yeah. Self-image and especially young girls, it was like, this is not the real world. I can't
Sarah: imagine growing up. I can't either. I cannot, like when I was in high school, we just started having cell phones. I could text. And it was like the Nokia where you had to pest like a one, five times to get to AA or whatever.
There was pictures like that. And, people looked more realistic in the, in magazines and everything. So I can't imagine being a teen
Elizabeth: girl right now. It's gotta be hard even for
Sarah: boys. Yeah.
Jenn: And you just mentioned bringing to these in, but [00:06:00] focusing on strangers' lives rather than our own.
And we're so consumed with what other people are doing or what they're wearing, what makeup they're using or their skin care routine or whatnot. Combined with relationship comparison. And I think that can start to be such a downfall for relationships because you're looking at, Oh, this couple's out doing all of this traveling.
You're always in pictures, smiling. And and we put our best lives on, any social
Sarah: media right now, nobody
Elizabeth: knows what goes on behind closed doors.
Sarah: Nobody back to when I'm talking to you on our console and I go look you up on Facebook. And you're telling me in my ear how much you cannot stand your husband.
Then I see the cutest little pictures of you guys on the beach last weekend. And I'm like, okay. You're, you never know what's behind those pictures.
Jenn: Yeah. And then one of the last thing I have in this list and as I was going through these, I could, I just thought of examples of either myself or friends.
This one was jumping to conclusions. And the example that was given was that, Elizabeth, if you're on there and I don't know, you're dating someone and then you see that an ex. Is up there and they liked [00:07:00] their picture. Then all of a sudden your mind Oh my gosh, they're, secretly going behind my back.
And then you get to the other one, you get obsessed with their life. You know what I mean? So it's just
Elizabeth: it's a bigger role. Should never talk about new relationships on. I feel media to me is like a death wish. What do you do when it blows up?
Sarah: I don't know. You're gonna have to try and be mature.
That's hard. But like social media is a mind fuck and complete that out, but like just do your best and take time away from it. We all struggle with that. Everybody, of course. There's like some of those people who are like, I don't have a Facebook account. Like my boyfriend doesn't have a Facebook account, but he loves Twitter.
Mean you're there on something. Yeah.
Even it's some weird like YouTube addiction. I don't know. Do you guys think that I don't have a social media accounts? Like people used to say, I don't have a team to me. Everybody's Yeah. Like some like weird kangaroo porn where they just have somebody else's.
Elizabeth: [00:08:00] Yeah,
Sarah: that's right. That's right. That's right.
Jenn: This article is specifically mentioned the dating apps and social media and how it's so much easier to connect with someone new, to tickle your fancy, as opposed to communicating with who you're with and working through a problem kind of thing. And this also reminded me of an episode, a couple of episodes back where we had Derek Ellington, digital forensic guy, and he interested.
Introduce us through the term retros and how that's, what I read in the logs articles of how easy it is to reach back out to these people. Either coworkers or people from high school. And it starts off with a simple, Hey life or one guy was like, it started off with me just saying happy birthday to this woman that I hadn't talked to.
And, 15 plus years since high school, next thing I knew. It turned it into a couple of Rhonda Booz and my girlfriend taught us, got the video computer or whatever. And I was like, gee, but it is, it's so easy just to
Sarah: get stuck and go with it. It is. [00:09:00] And in the dating world, when you're on the dating apps and you.
Just see these pictures and you're judging everything just from what they want you to see. And it's really easy to say, okay this person looks fantastic. Then you meet them. And then you have to like still have that standard that you're setting. And you don't think they meet that standard anymore.
So I don't know. Those relationships are really tough when you're starting out just based on like pictures and what they want you to see, correct. Instead of, meeting them face to face the first time and just being natural and Raul. So it's all kinds of. It's tough. Yeah.
Jenn: Yeah. Those were a lot of what everything was saying that I was looking up and I think that we've experienced and we could see, so fast-forward that people are engaging in these things.
And now there is the demise of the relationship. And so now they come to see us at new direction and consult with you guys.
Sarah: And can you delete it?
Elizabeth: You can, right? You can, but we can find it. We can tell you that there are complied
Sarah: that we had before for sure. And, just because you're a, Facebook is not [00:10:00] public doesn't mean we can't get our hands on it just because it's in your DMS doesn't mean that we can get that either.
Like we can. And also a lot of times when we first started case out in litigation, we're going to send a non spoliation letter saying to the other side, saying, Hey, you can't delete anything on your Facebook, your social media accounts. What have you? Cause we think this is going to have evidence in it.
And if you delete it, then obviously we're going to assume that it's something and you didn't want us to say
Elizabeth: yeah, but it's stuff like I have a case where the guy is self-employed. Has it paid a dime of child support. In two years, I don't have any money. I can't do this. And all we have to do is go every day on his Facebook page, he has his own business.
He's flying to Florida. He's doing this, he's doing this, bought a new house, got a new fire pit. It's dude, I don't know how to be to
Sarah: stupid. It's yeah, but did they start stupid social media? Yeah. Or
either
Elizabeth: he just thinks we're stupid. I don't
Sarah: know either. No. Obviously social media can lead to the demise of relationships as we were just talking about.
[00:11:00] I read this article just this morning, I'm in this Facebook group with attorneys that also like this other podcast, my favorite murder in there, he always talk about the most random things, but there was a sheriff down in Texas and he's married and on the like sheriff County page where he is one of his.
Girlfriend's commented about him and running again. And then that picture, her Facebook picture is a picture of her and him. And then it turns out this other girl who was not, his wife was also had been proposed to him or proposed. I, yeah, so they were like, Oh, okay. Wait. And so then they find out he's married.
So there's a sheriff who is obviously now reprimanded and not working
Elizabeth: currently. You're really pissed off.
Sarah: Yeah. It's if you're going to go out there and have two girls, is that you're proposing to and a wife and not think they're going to be fighting on them on social media. And so obviously his wife, if she gets an attorney, can use all that against.
Yeah, absolutely. And I don't know, Texas alimony laws, they here, they're quite different recently. I learned that, those kinds of [00:12:00] things will come back and bite you. Don't be dumb. Obviously don't have affairs, but
Elizabeth: don't be dumb, not think about, is like a lot of people will do a GoFundMe page for attorneys famous, put some shit in there and have bad and stuff.
It's don't do that. All
Sarah: right. Anything you put in writing will be
Elizabeth: used in court against you and judges. Don't like it.
Sarah: Oh, and they don't like you on social media, blasting your acts, I understand you're angry and you think that just your friends see your Facebook page. And so it's okay to go on there and see that he said, awful father, you hate him.
He's the worst. But if we get in court and the judge hears that you're talking about your child's father like that, then they're obviously, first of all, going to think that you have some issues, correct? If it's not. And if he's really not even that awful. And second of all, keep that to yourself, just
Elizabeth: get that order child.
Your child's going to find that even if your child is two, 10 years from now, they're going to go online and search and they're going to see all that.
Sarah: The other thing you don't, a lot of people don't think about is your child's friends, parents you might be friends with. And so then they see that something in [00:13:00] your household is going crazy.
I don't know if I want my child to hang out with your child anymore. So then you're in your own touch child loses a friend and that's awful.
Elizabeth: The big picture is don't
Sarah: do it. Yeah. Whatever happened to like Southern. Yeah, don't air your dirty laundry out there.
Elizabeth: Isn't there a song, dirty laundry. What's that song?
Is that an Eagle song? I
Sarah: can't
Jenn: remember. There's one by Carrie Underwood.
Sarah: you guys are talking about the ability to find stuff that was deleted. I'm a web developer. And so sometimes a site will get deleted and there's an arc. There's an internet archive@webdotarchive.org. And so I just put in my Facebook account in this got documented screenshots of my account back to December of 2013.
No.
Elizabeth: She'll be able to find it. That's what I'm telling you.
It's called the
Sarah: Wayback machine, [00:14:00] man. I think Facebook, it started coming out when I was in college at ECU.
Elizabeth: Oh, not good. No,
that's it. It's also fun
Sarah: just to browse. That's what Facebook used to look like. Cause they still work. Like you can look at the web
Elizabeth: function and applying for jobs. People are all over social media looking to see
Sarah: recently they are making a joke how, when our generation was growing up and there was Facebook and everything that they said, Don't post a picture with you and a beer.
You're not going to get hired. And now all the people that stormed the capital, they're like posting pictures of themselves and Oh, boomers, we couldn't post a picture of the beer. You guys are posting pictures of yourselves, committing felony.
Jenn: I think there's, just the. Fact that people are.
So they get addicted to that attention. Literally on my way, driving to the studio this afternoon, there was on the radio, they were talking about a guy who was in some Maserati or something on the and he was going [00:15:00] over 200 miles per hour and he videoed it and had it on his social media. And so then it somehow made its way to law enforcement and then law enforcement saw that he had like.
13 speeding tickets. And he had all these other social media videos about how fast he was going or driving recklessly. So they went and arrested him for all this.
Elizabeth: Yeah. But his preference was that somebody manipulated that I didn't
Sarah: really do. And there goes his custody of the kid. He can't drive it around and you're in jail.
That's right. That's right. Yeah. I think about all these things they trickled down. So what do you
Jenn: guys have for some do's and don'ts, or mainly broadly? Probably.
Elizabeth: I just say don't do it. And these are just, They seem simple and logical, but people don't think one is simple. Don't forget to change your passwords.
Okay. Cause if you got a Facebook account that's close and somebody can get, next one, get in there or something and your Instagram, all of that. So change your passwords. Don't wait to don't take selfies at the corner, which I love. I'll take a selfie at the courthouse. No,
Sarah: don't do it. I just seen like the cute divorce.
[00:16:00] So that's when they like good justice,
Elizabeth: just divorce. Yeah, but don't like, have one of you going, I'm going in for my casino custody trial and
Sarah: my baby. Daddy's trying to take the child
Elizabeth: from me. Exactly. Don't bad. Mouth, your former spouse as badly as you really want to please.
Sarah: Don't bend, not the judge.
Oh. So many people do that. It's crazy. They get into these Facebook groups. I guess other people may be like, Oh, people against judge and take my child support and all that. And they just bash them and it's that's a real good way to get a
Elizabeth: judgment. Do you have a judge for life and wake County when they get assigned to you?
If they don't like you, then you gotta have them for the rest of your life. Don't Allow yourself to be tagged and inappropriate post or photos and don't take it. Don't do it yourself.
Sarah: Don't do that. I know that your ex is going to let you have an alcohol problem. Don't be taking pictures of you taking,
Elizabeth: Exactly. Don't PA this is the best. This is all the advice you need to give to someone do not post email, anything you would not want to be used. You. Again, against [00:17:00] you in court later, if you're writing an email or a text or posting something, read it out loud and imagine what that would sound like if someone was reading it or you were reading it on this.
Sarah: Yeah. I always tell people, I know you want to vent to your best friend, right? Don't vent to your ex erase it. K that gets the point across. But sometimes you do need to just calm down and actually have a direct. Response. Okay. I will pick up, but make it factual. Yes. Make it factual.
Stick to the facts, keep it direct and just keep it about logistics about your child perhaps. And that's it, right? No feelings, no snarkiness and a TA. Even if you're in the right, don't add that extra to it just
Elizabeth: I always say this. Take the high road. Don't use your friends and social media spies.
What were just talking about that? From
Sarah: your attorney can
Elizabeth: there's one, it's not really social media, but always encourage clients to open a new email account that we just use, or maybe go get a burner phone or get another phone that cause you don't know, it's if you give someone, if you're [00:18:00] on the same cell phone plan some plans will.
Keep the text messages. So if you're allowed, if you're an administrator and you can get in there, you can go see all of the text messages
Sarah: that reminds me. If you have shared devices, like I have an iPad at home and have my iPhone. And so I have the iCloud and so everything syncs together. So if I'm texting someone and I'm out of the house about my husband, we haven't separated yet.
And he's sitting at home with my iPad and then boop, little text messages. I'm sitting there coming across my iPads. I see that. And also if he's there, he has access to it. He can download and use whatever he wants, if he has access your password and you're still together,
Elizabeth: right? That's a good point about the cloud, but these people have been separated for like years and every time the guy would take it, the husband would take a picture.
It would go to the cloud. So my client would get it. And. She didn't do anything wrong. He never changed the password. Never did anything. So get out of the cloud. Yeah.
Sarah: It depends. If you're
Elizabeth: collecting evidence, stay in the cloud.
Sarah: If you don't want that evidence to be [00:19:00] seen, you better get out of that cloud, you better disconnect the cloud.
You should just maybe get a new phone. We always talk about, what to do and what not to do, but. Yeah, just be smart and think about things and know that your electronics are going to be conducted and people need to educate themselves, not just first of all. Yeah. About your finances and your marriage, but about your daily life, what am I using?
What am I doing that might leave a trace, right? And then you
Elizabeth: got a smart, if you have a smart house. Oh, geez.
Sarah: I don't think I haven't tried to subpoena any Alexa recording. I think you have to have a murder and it would be presented it's in the Alexa app. I stumbled into it the other day I played back everything.
I asked her, it was like here's samples. And then it's like me shouting at Alexa. Getting more angry at electric. Now standing me. Mine's probably like when am Sarah dancing around Alexa? Rolling stones.
we love the cloud [00:20:00] as a parent of teenagers cloud. Is that current of all the turns like any picture goes right on the Apple TV, like shows up time. We're watching TV as a family, just so you
Elizabeth: know. I have you're with your girlfriend and you take a picture of her a bed. It's going to show up on your wife.
Yeah.
Jenn: If you're sending unsolicited pictures, that females
Sarah: do that. No one's ever singing at home. While I'd really like to see that juncture right now.
Elizabeth: No. Just about social media. It's about electronics and every, and all of that to just be. Cognizant of it, right?
Sarah: Even written love letters, I've used that in court.
I don't know how we just, it gets found. We can find it. People are dumb, they don't hide things while they don't throw it in the fire.
Elizabeth: What do they say? You're a, Dorfman's got you now you're in this new relationship. It is like a drug and you're not thinking properly insanely
Sarah: it's like you and your PR not partner or your love.
Partner or whatever, or just that's it, that's all that's in the world. That's right. We'll just rotates around you. And then [00:21:00] you'd do some really dumb things.
Elizabeth: When you come and sees ERI or Chris or Kelly, don't lie to us about that, please don't lie to us about what's out there, but we will find it and we
Sarah: will kick your ass.
And also if you tell me one thing and we spend a ton of money litigating your case, [00:22:00] and we, half a year later, we're in court. Finally, we've done all this discovery. I don't think that there's any evidence against you. We're in court and then boom, it comes out and you knew it and you weren't like, I didn't think he had that.
I'm like you should have told me that you didn't think, yeah, that's right. You just spent a ton of money when we probably could have just settled and avoided this, not our lives, we do our best, but it's better for you to tell us. You can't
Elizabeth: shock us. We are your advocate.
We're on your side. We don't care. We really don't care what you did. We're not going to
Sarah: judge you in any way. I've seen the weirdest things. Chris has probably seen the weirdest. We give all the super weird stuff to him. Yeah. I
Jenn: actually found some stats about social media and divorce period. It's on a different, in a different state family law firms, but a website, but they've got it from The matrimonial association and all kinds of sources they cited on there.
What research we've done on it? It says that one in three divorces starts as an online affair. And that 64% of family law attorneys site match.com [00:23:00] as the primary source for their online dating evidence.
Sarah: True. I agree
Elizabeth: with that. Cause they're always signed up and always put single or separated when they're still living together, which is not good.
Jenn: Oh, man, these are interesting. These are just kind of relationship, but 25% of couples fight about Facebook at least once a week. That's
now he knows. Yeah, he doesn't have Facebook.
Sarah: Exactly.
Elizabeth: How would you fight over with yours? I was
Jenn: worried about Facebook, probably like how much time you're spending on there. You're not paying attention.
Sarah: It's there's going to be underlying issues of why they're always on Facebook and not talking to you anyway.
So it's just something else to fight about. All right.
Jenn: 30% of Tinder users are married
Elizabeth: now that I don't think that would be higher.
Sarah: Probably I have it a correlating number for Bumble, which was, I was my favorite tender sender.
Jenn: Listen, there are some [00:24:00] people up there that are like, if they're open about it Oh, obviously I'm throwing myself.
Yeah. They're like in a happy, relationship marriage. And, but we're looking for a fun third party and I'm like, it's gotta be a
Sarah: separate dating app for that. Get off. I'm sure there is. Oh,
Jenn: This one less than half of people confront their spouses about what they discovered online.
Sarah: I think about to my cases and they do confront them and then they go to counseling and then they try to work it out then two years later, no,
Jenn: Just some other one in 10 adults, admit to hiding messages and posts from their partners.
8% of adults in relationships and meant to having secret social media accounts. There's a lot of secrecy like, and Facebook or social media allows for it. Cause exactly.
Sarah: Yeah. And there's a lot of fakeness on social media. Let's just make sure we make people clear about that. Yeah. And a lot of scams even if you're single and you think that you fell in love with this good-looking young man, who's five years younger than you across the.
No, he's in California, but you're in love. You swear. He [00:25:00] just needs a few thousand dollars extra cash, and then he's going to move out and now you're bringing it up with her
Elizabeth: to get married. Please come see us and listen.
Jenn: Here's one. Just to drive the point home from what you guys are saying with Facebook, Facebook is the number one source for online divorce evidence.
Sarah: We're definitely expanding. Yeah, I agree.
Elizabeth: I don't use well, that's it saves my, it does everything stay out there? What apps go away?
Sarah: I don't know what you mean. Like with
Jenn: Snapchat. Yeah. You send a picture and you pick how long it stays there
Sarah: or whatever, but it's still there,
Elizabeth: but I'm assuming you can still
Sarah: find that.
I think the picture, I don't know. But
Elizabeth: What about WhatsApp, people are now not using their texts cause they know we can find them. So they're using things like WhatsApp or signal or something like that, or they'll use Facebook messenger. We can find that.
Jenn: Yeah. I think Derek was saying you go do a backhanded way.
You can go through the app stores and look at what apps they've downloaded and try and download they're using that kind of. It gives you a
Sarah: clue. Yeah. [00:26:00] So my discovery, I just list every social media thing I can think of and messenger. Just to make sure it's all encompassed. I think recently, I started including what's our fans, my fans only fans, which I still am not sure what it is, but I throw it in there.
I think a lot of people thought WhatsApp was safer =until= Facebook bought it and changed their privacy policy like a week ago. And it's been in the news like the devil. Oh, it is. Once you really start to read about all the money they make and how they control everything,
Elizabeth: but maybe I'm wrong. I think Facebook is the young, but the young fuck don't use.
Yes, Facebook as much as no. I told
my
Sarah: daughters they could have it and they're like,
Elizabeth: why? My mind's on WhatsApp. Snapchat. And he's a YouTube
Sarah: person. You took his bag. Yeah.
Elizabeth: He just said he never watches television
Sarah: at all. I would've thought YouTube it going to come back like that. There's YouTube TV.
Jenn: There's
Sarah: TV crazy.
So [00:27:00] another thing I wanted to mention about, I hear from people. When they are when they're bashing you. So my clients are like, Oh my gosh, my ex said this about me on Facebook, can I Sue them for defamation? I always get that all the time. And so then I think about, okay, is it true?
Do you really want me to Sue them for defamation by, it true. Cause if it's true, there's nothing. And the two different areas are the libel and slander. And the label is written. So if he wrote that on Facebook, that, you were sucking John's, FIC deck plant, it didn't say it.
Yeah. Use the emoji on Facebook. I can't believe he wrote that. Okay. Is that liable? Is it defamation? I was like did you and Oh, maybe. There goes your case. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. There's other things to it. And a lot of times it's not worse worth pursuing. Anyways, I'll send a letter to their attorney.
If they have one selling them the cease and desist from writing negative things and you'll show it in court and that's that good punished.
Elizabeth: Yeah. That's what I use swing. And he's it can only help you record. I know it hurts
Sarah: to see [00:28:00] it because you have to show damage. So did you know Tim saying that you suck John's eggplant gonna lose your job or what's gonna actually happen where there's damages for you to recoup through a lawsuit, right?
But, typically we just try to shut it down and hopefully it doesn't happen. But again, judges will order that neither party, about the other on social media post about any litigation on social media. So if they hear you're doing it, they'll put it in an order. And then once it's in an order and you violate it, Hey, you could end up in jail.
Elizabeth: Yeah. It just don't do it. And let the other person go off and you to sit quietly. Literally and come in to court. What we say with clean hands, that's the best thing you can do for
Sarah: you? Yeah. I think we all need to work on keeping our hours down off social media. I won't say what mine was last week, but we had a big thing.
This integration was last week, I think. And, I think it's died down since. Yeah.
Elizabeth: Yeah. Yeah. But it is entertaining. You have to. Yeah.
Sarah: It's another thing. We use it a lot for business and advertising and groups. When we have groups of [00:29:00] attorneys that we communicate with on Facebook groups, that's really helpful.
So there's obviously a lot of benefits out there. And being on social media communities come together and especially during COVID when we can't be together in person. So everything in moderation exactly. Exactly. Be careful with what she put on social media, especially if you're going through any kind of litigation or separation,
Elizabeth: but think about it ahead of time.
They'll wait till you get ready to get separated. No, six months before.
Sarah: Yes. Yes. Be smart about it. Just be careful, regardless of whether you or not, don't send nudes, you can come back. There's a lot of, shaming on social media about that. And don't say anything. Say anything. You want your boss to see your mom, but to see if you don't want your mom to see it, don't do it
Elizabeth: through my mom calls me out.
Sometimes
Jenn: there's a good local, example of, the Instagram account. I know you follow it too, because I can see that you'd like it
Sarah: I'm out
Jenn: the Alliance one. And there's a gentleman in this area that has had it's. The Instagram account is a safe place for people that [00:30:00] have been. Oh, yeah. Belted or harassed in any sort of way that they can.
And NML recently made up as a fare, which I was really happy to see. I'm not that it happened, but they've
Sarah: that they talked to people who are victims in the complaints and make sure that it's valid. And, but the point is to believe these victims. But there was one in particular.
Yeah. And he's
Jenn: got like over 40 of people that have posted on this account about him specifically. And so then WWE Arielle caught on. And they got his text messages or he was like willing at one point, this gentleman was willing to provide text messages, which is completely just, but then he said
Sarah: it, he lost his phone or something.
yeah. I think I even matched with him back in the day. Cause he's been on social media for a long time for dating apps for a really long time. It's scary. He's just Great narcissist on manipulator anyways. And I remember when they once posted the letter they received from his attorney to stop.
Yeah. And they posted it and they were like, no, we're not going to, we have attorneys too.[00:31:00]
Jenn: expanding into different counties in the area, which I think is great. Place to go up there and, have a feel like you're able to voice an experience and there's strength in that. And it takes grass to do that, but it's not as scary maybe as court, so
Sarah: to speak, supposed to help okay. He has 40 plus women coming forward that he did something inappropriate to them, abuse them, harass them.
Would it be, there was
Jenn: a couple it runs the spectrum of things
he's
Sarah: done. So what if we start believing the first person that comes forward and maybe there won't be 40, take 40 to do it. So we don't digress right there. We just going down that rabbit hole, but the point is, there's good parts associated media brand.
Look for those good poor parts live there. If you're going to be on social media and be careful what you put on there, yourself. Exactly. Exactly. So across all the platforms. That's
Elizabeth: some shit.