50 WTF?!

Laurence: Just as I've got a
mouthful of fish and chips.

The snack.

I was saying how it's taken us
a while to get to this point.

That's killing my OCD, sorry.

Karl's just grabbed my mic.

Karl: How did we get to this part?

Sorry, my bad.

I put a proposal together, didn't I?

That proposal sounds a bit

Laurence: It was a proposal.

Karl: It was a proposal.

Laurence: You were looking for a Mr.

Right?

Karl: I was looking for a co-host.

Yes.

And I think you pretty much agreed
before I brought you lunch, didn't you?

Laurence: I'm a cheap date . It
was a nice toasted sandwich, but it

looked like it was written for me.

And maybe that's my ego talking.

But you said have a read of this.

Have a think if there's anyone you
know who might fit the bill and it

basically just described my life.

And I just said is it me you're looking
for in the words of Lionel Richie

Yeah, he said yeah

Karl: We've spent a lot of time together.

You've coached me.

We've hung out.

We've gone to gigs.

Laurence: How successful
that coaching has been we can

discuss over the next few weeks.

Karl: Yes.

But hey, it's got me here.

So, It's not all bad.

Episode one we're in the Walrus.

Laurence: Yeah the Walrus in
Brighton which is weirdly where

I had my 50th birthday party.

Karl: Yeah that's a
lovely bit of serendipity

Laurence: We're on the ground floor.

But yeah, it's a bit of a maze this place.

So if you have a good party.

So the concept of this podcast is first
and foremost, there's two midlife men.

Yeah.

I'm gonna say recently turned 50.

Some of us have more recently
turned 50 than others.

Not mentioning names.

And then inviting other midlife men.

Yes, we feel we can learn
from and probably just feel a

bit better with I don't know.

Karl: Find out a little bit more
about them and try and get them

to open up a little bit maybe.

Laurence: But we won't tell them
they're gonna open up No, see my

plan is to have, so we're in the pub
Yeah We're sat here with some snacks,

which we can talk about in a minute.

We sat here with some drinks.

So my hope with this is that we're
in a normal environment that men in

particular, certainly in the bygone
days, but still today, I think can just

let the hair down and be themselves.

Ultimately, certainly a lot of the men
in my life, I go to football a lot.

I'll go to gigs a lot.

A lot of the people that I spend time
with actually aren't in the world

that I'm in, which is linked to like
personal growth and self actualization.

And.

All the woo woo stuff spirituality
Yeah, people who look interested in like

being the best version of themselves.

A lot of men are just getting through
life Yeah, just trying to work and live as

well as they can ultimately and so often
I've found having conversations over a

pint at the football people start to open
up when they wouldn't normally otherwise.

So that was my hope was to have it not
in a podcast studio with all the gear

and no idea which turns out we've got
anyway, but to have a safe space for

men like me and you to come and open up.

Karl: Yeah, it's a good shout because I
think the environment is super important.

I probably haven't got as many
friends as you and um,, yeah, true.

If I'm being honest, a lot of the most
profound conversations I've had have been

in clubs . When you're drinking lots of
water, and maybe you've altered your state

of consciousness a little bit and people
become more willing to kind of share.

So yeah, I think a bit more loved up,
maybe a bit more loved up, let's hope that

we can get some people to relax and share.

Laurence: So we're basically creating an
environment where people feel like it's

four in the morning in Yeah, something
along those lines but with better snacks.

Karl: If i'm being really honest,
it's an opportunity to encourage a

bit more open and honest communication
and if I'm being really, really

honest I'm probably using it as an
opportunity to find my voice again.

I definitely think that I have
lost that over the years for

lots of different reasons.

And yeah I don't want to have any
regrets and I want to live an honest

life and if that means me admitting the
fact that I feel I lost my voice then

so be it if it's yeah, that's my truth.

Straight in there.

That's brutally honest truth

We're all about brutal honesty here.

Laurence: The thing i'm thinking
is I'm here partly for me because

I like hanging out with you and I
like You Giving your voice a voice.

Partly because if there's one thing
I do with my bloody life, it's

going to get you to ship something.

And this is my mission to help
you actually get this out in the

world, because it's been a long
time coming in a series of things

that have been a long time coming.

Yes.

And that will something we'll touch on.

But also I think there's something
about having a mic It gives you the

opportunity to have a conversation or ask
a question that you might not otherwise

ask someone and so yeah, I've always
thought this we both lost our dads not

fairly close proximity a few years ago.

Yeah.

And the one thing that stuck with me was
there's loads of questions I wish I'd

asked my dad that I never got a chance to
so by the same token, there's lots of men

in my life I'd like to ask questions to
that probably have another courage to you.

So maybe this will give us an
opportunity to do that and meet some

interesting other men along the way.

Just be a bit nosy really , but with good
snacks, so what's next have we got today?

Karl: We have.

Laurence: Burton's fish and chips
with lashings of salt and vinegar.

So these things I thought
were we're actually extinct.

I thought they died with the
dodo, but apparently they're still

going I remember them from school
little mini fish and chips sort of

quite a savory snack as they go.

I think isn't that they
are some scampi fried ilk.

Karl: Yes, and the bag is absolutely
huge by the way one pound bag I remember

them being in really tiny little bags
and you're getting we'll share a link

in the show notes 10 in them, but
yeah, that is a big one pound bag.

Great value for money,
great value for money.

They don't actually
sell them at the Walrus.

So if they come in and they see us eating
them, it might be a bit frowned upon.

And what we're drinking today.

I'm strong lager you go
straight for the star prominent.

Yes at one in the afternoon Yeah.

Because of the fact that this has
been kicking around so long there

was a little bit of anxiety is the
truth, you know It's like episode

one shitty first draft, but it feels
good just to be getting going, I'm

definitely at that point now where
JFDI because Just fucking do it.

I can actually move on because this
whole thing for reasons that will

become apparent has just become not
an albatross, it's just one of those

things that I feel I have to do because
it's been kicking around for that long.

I've stopped telling people now
because it's just, it's embarrassing.

So success is actually shipping it.

100%.

Yeah, I really don't give a fuck.

So If anyone's listening to
this, that's also success.

Yes.

And we've got more people to listen
to that, so please subscribe.

If anyone is listening, thank you.

But yeah, that's why I feel
like success is a cliche.

It's the journey, not the destination.

It is, yes.

Sounds like an Instagram quote.

I think I mentioned it
to you the other week.

There's a great program on Apple TV
called Shrinking where, a, patient of a

psychiatrist actually moves in with him.

So I think that I'm really grateful
for you giving up your time to

help me with this Laurence.

And Chezza, I can't forget Chezza.

And to fair Dan as well, just
organically it's turned into

a bit of a community thing.

Oh, it's already the most
popular thing I've ever done.

Judging by the one post I put
out about it, which seems to have

had quite an interest around it.

But yeah, Chezza is our producer.

Yeah.

I don't think I've ever had
a producer for, so yeah.

She's very good by the way.

She is very good.

If you ever need a producer to
produce your podcast, she's sat here.

Wincing at everything we say.

Yeah, and also eating some of our
very plentiful snacks and I guess

that is a nice feeling as well that
people actually want to get involved.

People seem to get it yeah
people seem to get it.

It's not that I'm looking for
validation or anything like that,

but I guess it's okay, so you've had
an idea It resonates with people.

So that should give you that little bit
of confidence to kind of fucking ship

the thing I think there's a couple
of things one is just the contrast

of our lives, even though we're very
similar and we share a lot of things,

our lives are very different in
terms of how we spend our days, just

given the commitments that we have.

There was something when you first
shared this idea, when you did turn 50

a few years ago with me and the group
we were with, of, where you thought you

would be at this milestone in your life
versus where you are so this kind of

idea of expectation whether it's one you
have for yourself or just society tells

you by this point you should be here.

Because that's what people do.

That's a really good point the
original idea was a solo project.

It was that it was like me personally,
arriving at the age of 50 not having

ticked a lot of boxes that society
suggests or certainly nudges you

towards ticking by that age, another
relationship had ended and I was in

a flat alone and I'm just like am I
actually fucked and then I thought about

it and there's just so much pressure
to actually conform and I think when you

don't That in itself becomes a pressure
or you start to question, if there's

actually something wrong with you.

With no disrespect to people
that have ticked those boxes that

society subtly suggests you do.

Sorry, I've fucking forgotten
the point I was going to make.

That's the trouble when you turn
50, you start to forget things.

Yeah, your very short term memory goes.

I guess the point I was trying to make
was that there's this pressure and if

you don't tick those boxes you think
there's something wrong with you,

sometimes it's the braver decision
not to conform I guess because you're

fighting against the tide of expectation.

I've refused to compromise on
the big decisions in my life.

I have seen friends compromise
and suffer the consequences not

immediately, but further down the line.

I wish I could say that I had a
definitive plan but I didn't,

there were just some situations
that I found myself in especially

around relationships where I'm like

that's a compromise too far for me.

When I have compromised
against my better judgment.

It's gone fucking tits up anyway,
something there about protecting

yourself and yeah being kind
of scarred by past experiences.

Shit.

We're going deep.

The other thing I'd say about compromises.

Yeah, when he talked about conforming,
it was like I've always hated the idea of

like, you have to get married, you have to
have kids, you have to get a nice house,

you have to get a nice job, because again,
it's that kind of societal expectation.

I think we were together 10 years before
I proposed, partly because obviously,

I wanted to marry a lot sooner.

Almost like the more people asked,
the more I didn't want to do it,

the more my parents said, when
you're getting married, The more I

was like, I'll do it my own time.

Yeah, I feel that really strongly.

And the same when we got
married, when you're having kids.

And it's like, here we go again.

And then you have kids and
everyone disappears because no

one's going to help you out.

But again, it's that thing
of, I fought against it even

though I went down that path.

I got no pressure from my family at all.

I'm one of my uncle's thought I
might be gay because I haven't

been married . That's one of the
things that I'm really grateful to

my parents for is just no pressure.

Having said that a little bit pressure.

In some instances for sure.

Yeah, they let me find my own
path, which has its advantages

and disadvantages, I guess.

Laurence: We'll talk about this
a bit, but I think we've known

each other for a decade now.

Is that fair?

Karl: Over decade.

Over a decade.

2013.

Laurence: Wow.

Which kind of feels like a lifetime.

We could have been in our thirties then.

No.

Maybe you were just 40 by then.

Thirties feels like a
distant a memory for me.

Karl: Yeah, same.

I arrived in and around London.

Just after my 40th birthday, I think.

I'm a bit of a late to the party.

So I arrived in London September
of 2013 having been made redundant

from an agency in Manchester.

First contracting gig.

Laurence: So we met pretty soon
after you moved to London then.

Karl: Yeah.

Laurence: And I was living in brighton at
the time, but we'd run an event because

we'd run an event and yeah came along and
You told me you were holding a piece of

measuring tape feeling quite depressed

Yeah, I mean

Karl: if we can just backtrack slightly,
if we're going on the first impressions I

actually found you online around 2012.

You were producing like
startup related content.

I guess I drank the Kool Aid I read
lean startup and it was I was stuck

in a agency It just looked like
you were kind of living a life that

I've probably aspired to, I guess.

Laurence: So you wanted to be happy
and you wanted to be a startup?

Karl: Yes, I wanted to be happy
and I wanted to be a startup.

And yeah, you know when you stumble
across people online, you were

saying all the right things, I guess.

And it was like, wow.

People are doing it kind of thing.

I did not so much anymore read a lot
of kind of businessy type books., I was

unhappy and not in a startup and you were

.
Laurence: We were way out of that.

Karl: You guys put on
a meetup in an agency.

Beer and pizza.

What was the guy's name who did
the IKEA paper tape measure?

Laurence: Oh, Mark Schaler.

Mark Schaler.

So you handed out.

To everyone a meter long measuring
tape like a paper measuring

tape that you get from ikea.

Asked them to cut off the bit at which
they thought they would might pass along

so if you're a man, it was a certain
age and I think 80th and maybe a little

older for women so and then cut off where
your at now in your life, so if you're

30 40 then cut off there and basically
by the end of it I seem to remember

people almost in tears with this tiny
bit of measuring tape left realizing how

little time they had left on the planet.

Karl: Yeah, that was my big takeaway
as well It was this piece of tape

actually getting shorter and shorter.

As an exercise.

Kind of in the moment quite powerful.

I think you had some kind of raffle
at the end and I won one of those

foldable plugs when they were a thing.

Okay Apple stole the idea.

So yeah, I mean it ticked so many
boxes for me It was like free beer

and pizza free plug and then yeah.

Laurence: And promise of
happiness yeah in future life.

Karl: I actually met a girl.

Went for a right drink.

Laurence: All right.

I didn't know that bit.

Karl: Yeah I didn't see her
again Did she like your plug?

I did and I never saw her
again, but she was lovely.

Laurence: So you told
me a story about that?

The first time I don't know if it
was that time when we met but I don't

remember me saying this but you said
there was something I said about you

that felt a little bit of a judgment.

Karl: I said something about me just
getting out or just arriving in London.

And I distinctly remember you asking
me if I'd just got out of prison.

Laurence: So I thought, you've done time.

Yes.

Basically.

Karl: Yes.

And it just made me kind of
reflect on what kind of opinion

other people have on me I guess.

Laurence: I don't

really remember that and b I can't
imagine I would have said have you

just got out of prison so maybe
there was a miscommunication.

Karl: There was something about doing
time Okay, something maybe it was I've

done my time in agencies or something.

I like that.

I'm a sensitive soul.

So maybe I just misinterpreted that.

It was over a decade ago.

Laurence: Luckily you weren't
offended enough to never see me again.

And can you remember your
first impressions of me?

Karl: I guess the first time we
actually got to spend any time together

at one of the first summer camps.

Yeah, and then Yeah hanging
around of an evening.

Like you do you kind of move around.

Laurence: I seem to remember chatting
to you and just warming to you.

I don't know what it was.

Definitely wasn't the fact
that you've been thinking that

you've been to prison before.

It was something about Karl's
energy and yeah, I don't know.

Just felt at home in your company.

I think maybe we just had that
connection somehow that come from a

similar background, similar industry.

Yeah had that chance meeting
in that agency in London.

Karl: It was exactly that
men of a certain age.

Laurence: I think we had pretty talked
about music as well I'm sure that came

up in conversation music or football
would have come up pretty early.

Karl: We just had such a great laugh.

We just chatted, just nonsense mostly.

And it was, it just
felt really comfortable.

Just a really positive experience.

Yeah, it was just down to earth,
grounded, nice people, no pretense.

Laurence: What you want
to bring to this podcast?

Approachable down to earth Yeah, I think
we talked about non earnest didn't we we

do get earnest and do you call us out.

Karl: And honest?

I want to bring honesty to it
because I don't think there's enough

of that in the world to be honest

Laurence: So I was thinking about the
first time, I don't know if it was the

first time you came to Summer Camp,
maybe it was the second time you came?

You talked earlier about you
wanting to find your voice.

I seem to remember you getting
on stage in front of 150 people.

Do you remember that?

Karl: Yes, I remember my pitch.

You invited me to pitch my idea.

Laurence: I seem to remember
you scrambling around for

an idea for a startup.

You said you wanted to be
happy, you wanted a startup.

And so for that period before
summer camp, I seem to remember you.

Maybe I could do, maybe I could do this.

Maybe I could do that.

And then you've got your van and
you started talking about helping

people to prototype their ideas.

And so this idea of you, maybe
it was an image that I had of

you , traveling around in your van,
helping people prototype their ideas

and that being a potential business?

Karl: That was exactly it.

So for the day job at the time.

I was building a lot of prototypes
I bought myself a vw campervan.

How can I put these two things together.

I think I just read is it Blue
Ocean, you know that business?

The whole idea of that is putting two
what appear quite disparate ideas together

coming up with something new Karl's
and van together Karl and van and I

thought you know all joking aside I
thought what a great idea opportunity

to try and change the environment.

Again, bit of a cliche, but no one does
their best work or have their best ideas

when they're sat in front of a computer.

Laurence: Out the office into
the, yeah, into the world.

I'd convinced myself that this was the
thing that, and then you said you were

gonna bring the van to Summer Camp.

I was like, what a perfect
opportunity to actually prototype

your prototyping in your van.

Karl: And that, and to be fair, I did
a little photo shoot with a lovely

young lady that was there at the time.

Yes, I've got pictures of
me actually doing have you?

Maybe we'll share those
because I haven't seen them.

Laurence: You were going to get
on stage and pitch this idea.

I think we had like a little section
where people with ideas could get up

and share something, even if it was just
something they thought of that minute.

But with the intention of just by
saying it out loud, maybe asking for

help or just creating awareness that
things might start to happen afterwards

Karl: I'd put quite a lot into that.

And do you know what it's really
interesting to bring that up

because that's a memory that
I have of my dad actually.

I'd been beavering away writing this
thing and then I presented it to

my mom and dad before I left to do
the drive to summer camp and my dad

gave me some brilliant feedback.

Like you do when you're nervous,
I was talking super quick and

a bit kind of embarrassed that
I was pitching this idea.

Laurence: I'm imagining Dragon's Den.

Your parents sat there, stony face,
while you're pitching your idea to them.

Karl: I've got a really
vivid memory of it.

We were stood in the living room.

Like parents do, love you unconditionally.

And So I rushed through it.

He just said, Just slow down.

And that was some really
solid advice from my dad.

Great life advice too.

Great life advice.

I've taken that literally.

I arrived on the Friday at summer camp.

Knowing I'm having to do this thing
on the Sunday and it consumed me.

Laurence: I kept catching your
eye and seeing you and thinking,

you the fear, didn't you?

It's got this guy, doesn't it?

Like he's enjoying this experience?

No, it was the anticipation, it felt
like, cause I think it was on the Saturday

or even the Sunday when we did this.

So you almost had.

So much time to worry about it.

Karl: Exactly that it
was the anticipation.

That's something that I have struggled
with is that anticipation is like

I'll do it but you give me a long
runway up to doing it and then

obviously the mind starts going into
overdrive a bit like you writing the

trailer script for this podcast true
true, I'm not gonna argue with you.

What's that phrase blood out of a stone?

It's in there, but
actually getting it out.

You tell the story better than I do.

Laurence: I just remember you being
nervous and eventually when you got up.

There was that kind of anticipation and
I think it was only a two minute pitch.

You seem to think it was about 20.

Maybe it felt like 20.

It was 15.

But I think the genius thing you
did was, I knew you were nervous.

I knew you would just be glad
to get this thing over with.

And you stood up there and the first
thing you said was, Hi, my name

is Karl and I'm shitting my pants.

And instantly everyone was with you
because they just sensed that you, you

were scared and you needed their support.

And so instantly you were the best
pitch because you were vulnerable.

And Also, people just love the idea
and love what you were about and I

think more than anything loved you.

Don't know if you remember it like that.

I remember saying that, I hadn't
written that into my pitch actually

that it was going to be that one.

Or share how scared I was.

I remember having no slides.

I think I still have my backpack
on and a pair of flip flops and

my hair was it was one of them.

Having done it coming off stage
and the feeling was just like

euphoric you shared your voice.

Karl: I mean euphoric, that's a strong
word, but I mean it was a big deal for me.

Someone that is essentially
quite a shy person.

That was massive for me, actually.

Laurence: How did the business go?

Did it take off?

Uh, it didn't, unfortunately, no.

This is why you're our worst
customer at a happy start up school.

Karl: That's really
interesting that, it didn't.

Did it matter?

No, no it didn't, because, for
one, I definitely didn't do

enough customer development.

I mean, it's like, it's quite
a personal thing to get in a

van of someone you just met

. Yeah.

Yeah, I've had a few Tinder dates.

I have a bit of time.

Okay.

No.

So we'll cut that into future episodes.

Sorry, Chezza.

That was, um, uh.

I don't know how to finish that.

No, no, let's not bring fidelity, and,
tinder, into the conversation just yet.

That is a whole other episode.

Laurence: I'm trying to remember.

How you go from someone being a
customer, essentially, I'd never

call someone who came to one of our
events a customer, but if we, or

as my friends would say, delegates.

How are you a delegate?

Going from a delegate to a friend,
like that's, that was a journey

that didn't happen overnight.

And so, the next experience I
remember us sharing was spending

a week together in the mountains.

On one of our altitude retreats, right?

Yes, and so you came to that and that's
where I think I really got to know you

and also this idea of sharing a love of
music sharing love of football, but also

sharing a love of the mountains as well
Yeah, but you were a big snowboarder.

I haven't skied in my life or snowboarded,
but you you're a regular Yeah, winter

Karl: That's my thing is to get
into the mountains and I had a

quick chat with Carlos to just
confirm my place on Alpsitude.

It was part of the Alps that
I hadn't been to before.

I definitely think that spending a
prolonged period of time with a group

of people it takes the pressure off of
having to make an instant impression.

We definitely bonded I
remember there was a bike ride.

We talked a lot about music on that and
it definitely felt like a first step

towards a transition to friendship.

I remember we walked up to spend
a bit of time on It wasn't a

glacier, but a bit of the snow.

I remember watching you,
I was following you down.

And I was like, why is he walking
with his hands in his pockets?

He only takes one little
slip and he's gone.

Laurence: I found out, it's a very
dangerous thing to do on the mountains.

Yes,

Karl: Don't do it at home, kids.

Yeah, good bit of advice.

Don't walk around the mountain
with your hands in your pockets.

Laurence: You made a good point,
though, which is And I find that

sometimes it's, I'd say I'm quite
a shy person, like in a new group.

If I don't know someone like you
coming into a group like that or our

community, when it's a really short
event or experience, it's like there's

a lot of pressure to sort of meet
people, make friends, like fit in.

And it seems that other people might
know each other was when you've

committed to a week or weekend,
but I have to choose a week.

Right.

So, yeah.

Don't if you found this there's a
there's a space and time to just get to

chat to everyone at some point you're
not under that pressure to kind of

make friends quickly you committed
time to it ultimately to deepen those

relationships with a small group rather
than my worst nightmare would be

Web summit or one of these massive
events where it's just a sea of people.

Karl: I'm exactly the same.

Give me a small group and a period of time
to actually get to really know the people.

Laurence: This expression the other
day press the flesh and a bit creepy.

Yeah, it's been a while since pressed
the press the in a public space.

Karl: I met Sally Anne altitude as well.

Laurence: So Sally Anne helps us out
with altitude She's does lots of we say

micro moments of pause and reflection.

Karl: Herself and Simon had a beautiful
chalet at the end of the valley and I

kind of got my money back on Altitude,
really, because I ended up going

back and working with Sally Anne and
Simon for a couple of, winter seasons

driving their minibus full of guests
to and from the lifts and taking some

guests to hospital and doing shopping.

Laurence: You stop there because
when you said, I did two seasons, I

instantly think I couldn't do that.

When you talk about the
compromises we have to make

when we're making commitments.

The idea of like, I'm just gonna
go and work for a season in the

Alps and snowboard during the
day and work in the evening.

And then you start talking about
carting people to airports and

hospitals starts to lose the appeal.

But that idea of freedom,
freedom of time and travel.

I'm sure it doesn't work that way all
the time but that's what I feel like

you've been able to do more than I have.

Karl: That is one of the benefits
I guess of taking a different

path is you do have more freedom.

Laurence: Have you gone to Japan and
Canada in school time In school time

all my holidays are in half terms and
they're very expensive summer holiday.

I definitely envy that ability to just
cut off to different parts of the world.

Karl: I think it's just this whole
kind of slowing down, spending

a period of time in one place.

And then you get to know
the guys at the bakery.

You get seasonnaires discounts and
things like that and you see the same

familiar faces you're part of that
community for a little period of time.

That is something that Yeah,
really privileged to have done.

Laurence: And then you
ended up in Brighton.

I'm curious how that happened because I
felt like when you I was talking to you

then you were in the Alps and then you
were like I think I'm gonna move back

to the uk And you were trying to work
out where do you move to because you've

moved around quite a bit, aren't you?

Karl: Truth is had a quite a transient
life my dad was in the military.

So he would get posted every three
years so I probably started primary

school three or four times in different
locations we were in Peterhead for a

while and then we moved out to Holland.

Laurence: Start the
beginning of your time.

Karl: I guess it definitely made me
quite comfortable with that whole kind of

transient nature of being a military brat,
I think is the phrase that people use.

I remember going to a big international
school in Holland, and so, I definitely

think that kind of influenced how I
navigated adulthood almost, just that

whole kind of transient nature of it.

And was very comfortable moving.

You know, you always want what you
haven't got, don't you, I would meet

people that had proper roots, that had
never left a city or a town, and just

that kind of tight knit group of solid
friends that they had I was always quite

envious of that, but as I've got older,
the more transient your life the more in

theory the more experience you can have.

Laurence: Do you think that's made you?

Fear commitment more in terms of
like to a place oh to a place or

people just throwing that out.

Karl: To a place.

Do you know what?

Maybe.

Laurence: Well, let's put it this way does
anywhere feel like home or has anywhere

felt like home if you move around a lot?

I'm assuming it's hard to find that
or just does home go wherever you are?

Karl: Brighton feels like home
now I've been here six years.

This is probably the longest that
I've ever lived anywhere aside

from I spent the best part of a
decade in and around Manchester.

Brighton and feels like home
for a lot of different reasons.

It's great for the airport.

London's an hour away and I think
midlife transport links Yes, great

transport links and those things
matter when you're in midlife, Laurence

true, especially when your jet setter.

It's a great place to
actually be single I guess.

Laurence: I get the feeling it's quite
easy to meet people here would you say I

mean I'm not saying it's easy, but easier
than a big city like London or Manchester.

Karl: 100 percent there's definitely
more opportunity for community down

here for sure, especially when you
do find yourself single in midlife.

I think I was always
destined to move to Brighton.

I remember one of the very first
things I gave you money to do was

this self paced online course.

You didn't literally give me money?

Like, in a brown paper envelope?

No, it was a bank transfer, probably.

I was doing another
winter season in Chamonix.

It's a bit of a pattern here.

I'd signed up to one of your self
paced online learning courses.

I think I got back to the UK and
one of the exercises was to write a

cheery postcard from the future and
it just so happened that the postcard

was from Brighton that I'd actually
picked up at a conference down here.

Have you still got the postcard?

I've still got the postcard.

It's a bit weathered now, but yeah,
and I probably wrote the same thing that

I'm probably still writing now believe.

Laurence: Sorry, I just found the
Karl Parton just joined the happy

startup school the picture of you.

What brings you here?

Keen on lean being happy

Is that what I said?

15th of November.

Oh my god.

It's almost the day.

It's 2013 11 years ago
keen on young dashing.

Look at that.

That was actually taken for the
website at the last agency

I worked at in Manchester.

So yeah, I think I was destined
to live in Brighton at some point.

So before we wrap up, I am trying
to remember when you first mentioned

this idea because I'm my feeling is,
it was about three years ago, when

I first heard about this podcast.

And so we got to this point, we've
had a few full starts of the last

few weeks, which we won't go into.

Let's just say we're learning as we go.

Yes.

I remember you were part
of one of our groups.

Was it in lockdown or was
certainly coming out of lockdown?

So I went through vision
2020 in September 2020.

Then you're part of a follow on thing
called Momentum and that was probably

about three years ago late 2021
Yes, where you were talking about?

hitting 50 2020 Yeah
because you were 50 when?

Karl: I was 50 what, backwards in

Laurence: February, 2021.

So anyway, that year
and then you were like.

I want to do something.

I want to create something
on this Momentum program.

Momentum is all about you've got
an idea and now make it happen.

So there's a bit of a pattern here.

Like there's something I want to do.

I'm on the startup school program.

And so you needed a project
it felt like to ship.

Karl: I had a lovely Momentum group and
a couple of people within the group were

producing podcasts, so I had this idea.

You're like, if they've
got one, I want one.

It was a bit of FOMO, yeah, for sure.

I'm Karl, I want a podcast.

Maybe you wanted to share your voice.

Yeah, do you know what?

I wanted a creative project, because
the day job, small cog, big wheel.

I felt that I wasn't scratching
a creative itch, I guess,

.
I wanted a creative project that
was unrelated from my day job and an

opportunity to learn a new skill as well.

One of the things I learned
from you when you coached me was

learning is a big need of mine.

I feel if I'm learning I feel
like It feeds me, I think.

I don't know.

The original idea was to explore
my life up until midlife.

Laurence: Feels like a milestone.

Yeah, well, turning 40 was the one that
everyone tells you is the big thing.

I don't know, maybe society makes
you think like, Oh my god, 40, life

starts at 40, all this stuff, but

for me, 50 felt like a much more
reality check moment in terms

of, there's probably less of my
life left than there has gone.

Karl: That iKEA paper tape
measure is like There you go.

It is down to two centimeters at
this stage, but yeah, you're right.

Laurence: And also like,
when you're younger you're

thinking, God, 50 is really old.

I thought I'd be here by this point.

Yeah.

I seem to remember you sharing
about how you felt about that versus

what other people maybe thought

Yeah it was , what were
you gonna call it again?

It wasn't 50.

What the fuck was it?

Karl: The title was going to be fucked
at 50, but I was going to explore lots of

Episode 1: First impressions... at 50

Episode 1: First impressions... at 50Episode 1: First impressions... at 50

More episodes

Episode 1: First impressions... at 50

Episode 1: First impressions... at 50

Chapters

What is 50 WTF?!?