M&M Ep. 48: Fresh Starts; Perfection; The Kid Inside

All aboard the chaos express! If you’ve got a ticket for this ride, you already know it. It’s the one where there’s never enough time in the day—kids’ schedules outpace yours, work demands keep piling up, and oh yeah, the laundry, dishes, mowing the lawn, and bills aren’t going to handle themselves. Let’s not forget staying connected with friends and family, even though you planned to be in bed by 9 pm…but it’s now 11 pm, and tomorrow starts before the sun does. Sound familiar?

 

We’re right there with you. Welcome to The Mr. & Mrs. Inglis Podcast, hosted by Shaen and Meghan Inglis—a weekly show where we dive into real and honest conversations about the wild ride of raising kids, growing careers, and managing family and friendships in the middle of life’s beautiful chaos. So, grab your ticket and join us for a weekly dose of camaraderie, connection, and a reminder that you’re never in this alone.

 

Follow and subscribe to the Mr. & Mrs. Inglis podcast and visit our channel and our website at shaeninglis.com to check out and follow our other podcasts.  You can also follow Shaen and Meghan @ShaenInglis on Instagram, YouTube, or at shaeninglis.com. Feel free to share the Mr. & Mrs. Inglis podcast with someone who would enjoy and benefit from our weekly discussions.

What is Mr. & Mrs. Inglis?

All aboard the chaos express! If you’ve got a ticket for this ride, you already know it. It’s the one where there’s never enough time in the day—kids’ schedules outpace yours, work demands keep piling up, and oh yeah, the laundry, dishes, mowing the lawn, and bills aren’t going to handle themselves. Let’s not forget staying connected with friends and family, even though you planned to be in bed by 9 pm…but it’s now 11 pm, and tomorrow starts before the sun does. Sound familiar?

We’re right there with you. Welcome to The Mr. & Mrs. Inglis Podcast, hosted by Shaen and Meghan Inglis—a weekly show where we dive into real and honest conversations about the wild ride of raising kids, growing careers, and managing family and friendships in the middle of life’s beautiful chaos. So grab your ticket and join us for a weekly dose of camaraderie, connection, and a reminder that you’re never in this alone.

Follow and subscribe to the Mr. & Mrs. Inglis podcast and visit our channel and our website at shaeninglis.com to check out and follow our other podcasts. You can also follow Shaen and Meghan @ShaenInglis on Instagram, YouTube, etc. Feel free to share the Mr. & Mrs. Inglis podcast with someone who would enjoy and benefit from our weekly discussions.

(upbeat music)

All right, we're back.

We're back.

I mean, I'm not

suggesting you have a lot of ways

to improve, I think you're perfect.

Yeah, no, no, no.

That's never been me.

Yeah.

Is that bad?

No, I don't, it's you.

What are you even at?

I'm a little shocked at it.

I'd be curious how many

other people are like that,

because--

I'm terrible at texting.

Last year was more like, I

need to be more positive.

Yeah.

You know, I don't think that worked.

I, for better or for

worse, probably for worse.

That almost innately bothers me.

(laughing)

My life arc has always provided me

opportunities to improve.

Uh oh, I didn't mean to do that.

Bombshell.

On KIKX 102.7.

101.3 KDWV.

First of all, how dare you say something

a bit negative about me?

(laughing)

Excuse me, sense of fashion's way off.

Hey, just a little curiosity,

what's that really blinking light?

Welcome to the Mr. and

Mrs. English podcast.

I'm Megan.

And I'm Sean.

We're here to talk about

the wild ride of raising kids

and growing careers,

keeping life together

in the middle of all the chaos.

So buckle up, because we're all

in this crazy journey together.

I think we're good.

I think we're good.

I mean--

We're back into it two weeks in a row.

Two weeks.

Quite the record.

Yeah.

Well, I need to put it up on our website

and get these things from Transistor.

That's the web thing

that we used to host,

actually posting the podcast.

Got it.

And it gives you fake little medals

that you can download.

We just got our one year medal.

Oh yay.

We don't want to

actually send you anything.

You have to download it.

I mean, the best prize is

you always have to download.

Yeah, that's right.

That's right.

It's like--

It's been a year or so.

We talked about that

last time a little bit,

but it's crazy to think

we've done this for a year.

That is crazy.

Yeah, we did 47 episodes out of 52 weeks.

That's so cool.

Although now I'm curious,

which ones did we not do?

I don't--

Did we do abbreviated versions

like when we were on

vacation this summer?

We may have missed one or two on a

vacation here or there.

I think what happened

was the year anniversary

came when I created it,

not when we first posted one.

Got it.

So I think our first

one was until January 6th.

This week would be ours.

But we're still two probably short,

which I know we skipped one or two.

We have one in the

backlog for a rainy day.

That was never posted.

Yeah, and it might've

been the best one ever, but--

It may have.

I remember thinking,

hey, we're really clicking.

Oh really?

Mm-hmm.

How often does that happen out of 47?

It was quite a few.

It was quite a few.

There were a few where it was like,

I'm trying to think of

the transition in my head

while we're talking.

It's never good when we're trying to

transition something.

Usually we always try to

have some idea we're going into.

And we never get, the good

ones, we never get to those.

You know?

Yeah.

I feel like at least.

Yeah.

But who knows, maybe

others would discern.

I know.

Well, we'll have to do like a, you know,

pull the listeners or

something, you know?

Yeah.

Thumbs up, thumbs down.

I was really saying, I

really like to get like

a couple segments in

this where it's like,

we get to like things that we look

forward to every week.

Like people are like, oh, okay.

They do this, you know,

like everything else is lame,

but I do love their I'm peeved segment.

You know what I mean?

Yes, yes.

Like here's what peeved me this week.

Cause there's, there's

never a shortage of that.

No.

And it's nice.

It's probably a little, you know,

therapeutic for us to get it out.

For sure.

Yeah.

Cause we, we, I mean.

Even with you and I.

You know what?

You peeved me this week.

Are you peeved me today?

You peeved me.

Yeah.

We can, we can give

like real time, you know,

conflict resolution examples.

Yeah.

That'd be funny if we had like, you know,

we don't argue much

about much honestly at all,

but it would be funny one time to be

like, you know what?

Let's take this to the

booth, to the studio.

(laughing)

This is a real time talk through.

Uh huh.

Yeah.

Things like, I really,

we probably never published that.

Cause I would be like, oh, that might,

that might not like come across me.

I don't like how I am

painted in that one.

You know, like.

That's what I was thinking too.

That's what I was thinking too.

I really am more stubborn than I thought.

Yeah.

Oh.

Yeah.

Hey, just out of curiosity,

what's that really blinking light?

All right, we're back.

We're back.

Some technical difficulties.

Maybe we'll see.

We'll see what this looks like.

If the video was horrible

for the last two minutes,

we hopefully it's better now.

I know.

This was the first time.

So in 48 episodes,

the first time we've ever had a take two.

Yeah, we used to take two.

Nobody's ever seen this, I don't think,

but we actually have a

clicker and we just take two.

(laughing)

We're so official.

Very official.

So all right.

Well, hopefully that's better than.

Hopefully.

We'll see what happens.

I now am a little nervous

cause I recorded morning

cereal right before this.

I know.

I actually saw it doing

that too at the end of it.

Okay.

And there was a morning

cereal episode last week

that was like,

It was.

It was like, yeah.

Frozen faces of Sean.

Yeah, video was fine.

Did you see that one?

I was sitting next to you

while you were editing it.

Oh yeah.

You didn't watch it any last week.

You took the week off too.

I did, but I did see it while editing.

Yeah.

All right, well, we'll

just keep going with it.

So,

anyways, you know, we kind of left off

last week with just,

last year was a good

year to get over with

and we're moving into a new year, 2026.

Yep.

You know, with high hopes and whatnot,

which everybody doesn't.

For me, this is a time of year

that's always like fresh starts.

I think a lot of

people say, do it that way.

That's why resolutions are around,

use resolutions like this

year, I'm not going to do this.

Or, you know, I'm going to start flossing

or whatever it might be.

Right, right.

You know, but it's

always like a new start.

And for me, I always, maybe more so.

I mean, is that how

you look at them or not?

Cause I'm getting the

feeling over the last day or two

that it's just another day to you.

It's not like, oh yeah, fresh start.

Yeah, no, it's not.

No, I don't have that

feeling of like, oh, fresh start.

I never did in New Year's

resolution until you're like,

Hey, what's your New Year's resolution

when we were dating

or married or whatever.

I just,

crazy.

You have to be in the

minority there, right?

I don't know.

I have no idea.

I've got to find out from people

if that's like a minority thing.

Cause I figured that the, so the new,

is New Year's special to you at all?

You know what?

It's, I always have mixed

emotions around New Year's.

Like I always think it's

kind of sad, kind of exciting.

Like, but overall it's one

of my least favorite holidays.

Yeah.

I don't get excited about it, per se.

Like I get excited about

the fun things that we do.

You know, we do family game

night and stuff like that,

but I don't, I'm not like,

yes, a new year, fresh start.

Like that, that is not my thought.

I wonder if that's,

I wonder if that just has

something to do with the fact

that you've always had life

together for the most part.

You know what I mean?

Whereas other people like me,

really before I met you mostly,

but I mean, I had tough years

where I was like just

trying to figure out who I was.

You know, trying to, you

know, claw myself out of,

you know, holes I dug and, you know.

And when you're in that,

sometimes it's like, okay,

I'm glad this year's done.

Because next year's

going to be a great year.

Cause this year, like you said,

this year is one of the

toughest of your life.

It's probably the

toughest of our life together,

but I would not say it

was the toughest of my life

altogether.

Right.

You know what I mean?

It was toughest from a family standpoint,

you know, and things like

that and what we deal with here.

But I've had way

tougher years in my life.

And that's why for me, it's like,

I was, it kind of blew my

mind a little bit that you're not

like, yeah, it's a whole new year.

Like this year I'm going to do this.

I'm going to do this.

Like most people are like,

I'm going to get in shape this year.

I'm going to stop drinking or

smoking or whatever this year.

Right, right.

And I guess for people

that are pretty happy with

themselves, it's not that way, I guess.

I mean, is that not, you

don't think of ways to,

I mean, I'm not suggesting

you have a lot of ways to

improve.

I think you're perfect.

No, no, no, no.

That's not what you're suggesting at all.

But I just, most people

are like, you know what?

This is what I'd like to, I

need to be better at this.

I'm going to do that this year.

And I know, cause you said

you've never thought of a new

year's resolution.

You've never really

thought of your life that way

or yourself that way.

Yeah, I don't, and it's

not that there aren't things

that I know I need to improve on.

I just don't necessarily think like,

oh, new year, first

start, let's do this now.

I am this person and I'm

going to be the person who loves

to eat salad and work out.

Like, I don't know.

I don't know if I'm

just more of a realist.

Cause I'm like, ooh, that

would be a drastic change.

And there have been times when I'm not

going to go on that,

but I just know I've never

been like, yep, fresh start.

Let's just be different now.

That's never been me.

Yeah.

Is that bad?

No, I don't, it's you.

I'm a little shocked at it.

I'd be curious how many

other people are like that.

Cause I mean, honestly,

I'm a little shocked at that.

That for me, I always

feel like I'm on a journey

of self-improvement

through life at all times.

I can always be better.

And what better time than January one,

beginning of a new year

when everybody's like,

it's a new year, you can do any,

the world's a new place,

this is gonna be the

best year of our lives.

It's always just like a

good day one starting point

versus March 8th is

when I'm going to do it.

You know what I mean?

Like, that's like a weird, you know,

but usually there's

something that most people

in from my

perspective are like, you know,

I could be better at

this and why not try?

This is a good time to try that.

Yeah.

And it's not that I

don't think that, right?

Like I just don't use the

new year as one of them.

And a lot of people do, I have no idea.

The percentage of people like me

versus the percentage of people like you,

I would imagine there's more people.

I mean, new year's

resolutions, that's a thing.

People talk about it.

They always say gym

memberships are the highest.

And so clearly there are so many people

that turn over that new leaf

or try to turn over that new leaf.

I don't, I think I'm partly

just jaded because I'm like,

yeah, but by January 7th,

they're not doing it anymore.

So that new thing that you wanted to do,

like most people don't keep doing it.

When I said I'm gonna start flossing,

I flossed every day since then.

You flossed? Yeah.

So I hear you on that.

And there's probably

been new year's things

that I'm like, I'm

gonna be better at this.

And then I haven't been

as good as I want to be,

but I've been better overall.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

It's not like I've ever been like,

this year I'm gonna do this every day

or I'm never gonna do this ever again.

And then on January 7th,

it was already out the door.

Right.

I just think I'm a little more

disciplined than that.

Yeah.

And maybe the general

population isn't as disciplined

as that.

And that's where you're

taking your negativity

towards that.

That's insightful.

Yeah.

And again, I wanna reiterate,

it is not that there

aren't things that I can work,

that I don't start over here.

There are things I

know I need to work on,

but I don't necessarily

look at that as January 1st.

It's like, oh, it's

finally getting through my head.

I need to be less stubborn.

Or, oh, it's getting through my head.

I need to respond faster on texts.

I'm terrible at texting.

I know I need to get better,

but it's not like January

1st, I'm gonna start that.

Yeah.

And I think those are things,

I think everybody does

that throughout the year.

Oh, okay, this is

bubbled up to the surface

and I'm having a bit of an epiphany here.

I'm bad at this, I

need to be better at this.

And if it's July 3rd,

it's not like, you know what?

That's a perfect

thing for next New Year's

for me to work on.

You know what I mean?

Most people are like, yeah,

I should probably start doing that now.

Most of the things I need to work on

are like a now thing, right?

But I think there's a lot,

the way I look at it is there's a lot of,

those are smaller goal type things

of just trying to be

better at being a person.

But then I think people

have like those overall

overarching ones too,

they're like, you know what?

In a perfect world, I wanna be more of

this kind of person.

And for me to get to that

point, I need to be doing this.

You know what I mean?

And a lot of people are

like, for working out.

It's like, okay, I'm

gonna get through the holidays

where I'm gonna eat a ton

and it's a really good starting point

to start January 1st, new

year, I'm gonna do that then.

I think that's why a

lot of people do that,

or drinking or whatever it might be.

I'm gonna cut back on that or whatever,

you know what I mean?

But it's a more holistic,

just always wanted to be

more of this kind of a person

or do this in general and

this is a good time to do it.

Because it doesn't affect my life

if I didn't do it

yesterday, if I don't do it tomorrow.

Like some of the maybe smaller things

that you're talking about are,

like if you're a bad texter,

it doesn't do any good in

September to wait to January.

It's like, I'm gonna just

start texting people back now.

Exactly.

You know what I mean?

But if you're gonna stop smoking,

you know what I mean?

I mean, like, yeah, I mean,

from a medical standpoint,

probably better start,

stop smoking tomorrow.

But it's like, you know what?

2026 is gonna be the year I stop smoking.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Maybe people do, maybe they don't,

but that's so interesting.

Like, I just, I mean, that's totally,

I learned something about it here.

Because we don't do that.

It's never really a big, like,

because I've asked you,

what are your resolutions?

You never have any.

No.

And I'm always surprised

because in the back of my mind, I'm like,

oh, well, I guess she's perfect.

(laughs)

No, and that's not it at all.

It's, I think part of it is,

and this goes back to maybe

what you were saying of like,

because of your upbringing,

not necessarily upbringing, but like,

how you are, your life arc,

yeah, your life arc, right?

Like, I think you feel like

you have to reinvent yourself

and you're, you know.

No, that's not right.

I'm not reinventing myself ever.

I am way-- How do I, yeah.

How do I say, like, I don't know,

you are more, you've always

been more about new starts.

Maybe when I was

younger, it was a reinvention

because it was like, I

don't like who I was.

I don't like people who think who I was.

You know what I mean? Yeah, yeah.

Maybe way back then, now

it's not like that at all.

I mean, like, my new year's resolution,

I keep using it four

years ago, is like flossing.

Flossing.

It's not like I'm like,

I need to major life change this.

Right, yeah.

For me, like, okay, flossing.

I don't even know

that I had one last year.

Last year, it was more like,

I need to be more positive.

Yeah.

I don't think that worked.

January 7th, I think

that would stop, too.

Someone on the road cut you off

and that one went way down.

It's just two and

eight, I can't stop that.

Yeah, because you can't change, I think,

personality things, like.

Right, but most people aren't like that.

I'm gonna be, well, I

guess you could say,

I'm gonna be more outgoing this year.

Even though I'm an introvert, I just need

to be more outgoing.

I need to try harder at making

connections with people.

Yeah.

Right? Yeah.

Say that. You can.

I'm gonna, this year, I'm gonna,

I'm gonna eat a little bit better.

I'm gonna start doing a, what's that?

Like a cleanse or a fast.

I'm gonna fast every month, you know,

or something like

that, you know what I mean?

Those are good times to

reinvent that part of yourself.

It's like, it's gonna make me healthier.

Yeah.

Now I'm holding myself to something,

I've got a start date,

people like start dates

for those kind of things.

Yeah.

So, anyways, we're kind of

beating the dead horse here,

I think, to some degree, but.

I'm shocked at that.

I'm sure we'll talk about

that more after or off of this.

(laughing) That's shocking to me.

And maybe you hit the nail on the head,

or we both did here, where

it's more of an issue of,

just our life arcs.

Like you've just been happy with the

person that you are,

and you don't really need

to, quote unquote, reinvent

or add this, and the little thing,

the little tweaks that you

need to make to yourself,

like you just do it during the year.

Which I would be so interested to hear

how many people are like that.

Versus people like me who are like,

hey, I even like it in the office.

Oh yeah.

Because I file all the bills, you know?

Yep, yep.

All 12 months are in there,

and at the end of the year,

they all get stapled together.

I pull them all out, all the gas bills,

the electricity bills, cell phones,

all those, they all get put in a folder,

and we hold on to them for three years,

because that's maybe

what the tax man wants.

(laughing)

Right, right.

And I get rid of the

other three year one upstairs,

it cycles out, and it gets recycled.

Yep, yep.

But I love the cleaning.

You love that.

And that part of it too, you know?

That's like cleansing for you.

Oh, I love it.

That is a personality thing for me.

It is, yeah.

You are a hyper-organized person,

and you like the process.

Not only do you need things organized,

you like the process of organization.

That out with the old, in with the new.

And I think that's part

of that personality trait

is one reason why you gravitate

toward New Year's resolutions.

I, for better or for worse,

probably for worse, am not like that

when it comes to like, oh sweet,

I get to clean out my office,

I get to throw this away, this

is from an old year, you know?

No, I, hmm.

Yeah, you're just,

I just, I'm the steady Eddie, right?

Like I'm just like floating along.

Yeah, that's,

that almost innately bothers me.

(laughing) It's weird, I'm sure

people are reading through this

right now, but I mean, that

almost innately bothers me

that someone isn't looking for that

self-improvement on a consistent basis,

that you could be that

happy with who you are

and how you are,

mentally, physically, everything.

You know what I mean?

That, and it's not a resolution,

cause I'm not like,

here's my resolution this year everybody.

I'm not big on

resolutions, I don't care about that,

but a new year is always a

good starting point to like,

hey, you know, last year was a tough,

like I'm usually pretty

good about working out,

last year it fell off for a

million different reasons.

It started strong and

then it kind of fell off,

you know, it's summer

for whatever reason,

but, you know, it's always like,

you know, I just need to be

better about that, you know?

I'm gonna try to make

it through a whole year.

You know, it's almost like, you know,

it's almost like daring yourself

or setting a challenge

for yourself to be better.

Yeah.

And that's just, my life

arc has always provided me

opportunities to improve.

And I'm just shocked that there's others

that don't view it that way.

I mean, it's innately

bothering me right now.

(laughing)

Uh oh, I didn't mean to do that.

No, I know, that's crazy though, so.

Anyways, wow, well,

I'm sorry, I told you,

it's like, I got a good question for you.

We'll see how that goes.

Well, that went.

That was the question.

There it is, that was the big one.

I feel like I didn't answer it correctly,

although I answered it honestly.

No, there's no right or wrong on that.

You know, I mean, like, what I...

I would be curious if

there was like a psychologist

sitting here and how

they would explore that.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

That part of it.

Because, you know,

we've talked through things,

and now this is a little bit of pivot,

but like, you know, as a couple,

you have to be able to talk

about things that are like,

hey, here's something that, you know,

if you could do this

differently, it'd be better.

Yeah, yeah.

You know, we've been honest

with each other on that one.

I have to drag it out

of you a lot of the time,

so I'm like, tell me,

you know what I mean?

I'm a dumb male.

Like, sometimes you have

to hit me over the head,

you know, and just tell me.

Yeah.

And then I'll do it, 100%,

and me being the way that I am,

I'm fairly open, you

know, emotions on the sleeve.

I usually tell you, like,

hey, here's what I need,

you know, like, this is the

way this is coming across.

This is how this is.

So, I mean, I'm rambling here a bit,

but, and I'm talking too much,

but the long and the

short of it there feel,

to me, is like, generally when

we have some of those conversations,

you don't like to hear that

there are ways to improve.

Like, there is a lot of

pushback there at times,

and so this is just kind of

a bigger window into that,

like, oh, now I

understand even more so why,

anytime there ever is,

like, hey, if you could maybe,

you know, do this, and like,

where I'm always like the opposite way,

like, I'm an idiot, like, you know,

like if I mess up, just

tell me, I will change it.

You know what I mean?

Like, I'm okay not being perfect,

and I think this is where that

psychologist thing comes in.

You have to be perfect,

and this is what I'm saying,

I really don't have to

dive into this at all,

but when I tell you there's

ways, you don't like that.

That means you're not

doing everything perfect,

or a New Year's resolution.

How could I possibly improve?

That would mean I'm

not perfect right now,

and I'm not suggesting

you think you're perfect.

I know you're not.

That's not your personality.

But the little girl

inside you needs that.

Does that make sense?

Yeah, yeah.

I think there's, you know, and going,

I am a perfectionist, 100%.

Like, if I could be

perfect, I would pick that,

you know, is like my wish, right?

And I know I'm not.

But I don't know if this

goes back to like when I was,

I don't know what it was, you know,

like early dating and stuff like that.

I always read like,

you can't change people,

so don't even try, just

accept them for who they are,

you know, and so I've always been like,

you know what, whoever

you are, that's fantastic.

You don't need to hear from me.

You know better than I do

what you need to work on.

You know, so that's

always my kind of philosophy,

only because I know

exactly what I need to work on.

You know, and so it's like,

you're usually not telling me something

that I don't know already.

But do you think most

people are that self-aware?

I mean, I guess maybe

you are more self-aware

than a lot of people are.

If you know exactly

everything you need to work on,

that's very self-aware.

I don't know

everything I need to work on.

That's what you just said though.

Well, I know many of the

things I need to work on.

Okay, okay, that's a different thing.

I do, I'm like, if you

tell me I'm stubborn,

and I know that, thanks,

like I am aware of that,

you know, so I think that's part of it,

of like, oh, I know where I am not.

Let alone, I am not even

good, let alone perfect, you know?

That's not true at all.

I feel like, now I feel

like you're backpedaling here,

and I'm not trying to

come down on you at all here.

That was just an open door,

and we can cut as much

of this as we need to,

because it's kind of a

real conversation here.

And I'm not trying to put you under,

you can put me under,

you can swap it and put

me under the microscope

somehow here too,

because there's lots of

ways to do that as well.

But I mean, even like you just said,

like I'm well aware that I'm stubborn,

as though it's something

you would, a bad trait, right?

And most people are like,

well, if I have a bad trait,

I think I'd like to improve that.

You know what I mean?

But the way you're saying it now,

to me, the way I'm hearing it,

the way it's coming across

is, this is the way I am.

People don't change.

I mean, like, I understand that,

thank you for telling me

that, but I already know that.

There's nothing in there of like,

and gosh dang, I've got to

get, I've got to change that.

It's my worst trait, I gotta get over it,

I gotta work through that somehow,

which is how I would approach.

If someone were to tell

me something like that,

that's how I would approach it.

Not saying I can change it fully,

but I can sure work on it, right?

Right, right, and I'm

not saying that either.

It's not that, just

because I know that something is,

like I have a bad trait,

that I don't try to work on it.

That's not what I'm saying at all.

I know I need to work on it.

It may never be perfect.

It may never even be good,

but it's something

that's on my mind to work on.

And if you have a trait like that,

oftentimes I'm like,

you know better than I do

what you need to work on, like,

and so I don't feel the need to mention

it most of the time.

Yeah, but sometimes to me,

and that's where we're

different, that's okay.

But if I'm continuously doing something,

like you should be like, hey, Sean,

apparently you should

know this better than me.

But you're not

improving on whatever that is,

you know what I mean?

Which is kind of the

offhand, but it's true to you,

because we've had lots of conversations

like with situations

that are uncomfortable.

You lay down, right?

Because there's a

long time we talked about

you being the doormat,

you know what I mean?

Like not standing up.

I dislike conflict.

I can't stand it.

And I'll never be good at it.

Yeah.

But it's something

that I have to deal with.

But that's even the

lowest level of conflict,

like with a spouse that

you've known for two decades plus,

be like, hey, you are not

getting better at this, Sean,

you've got to get better at that.

You know what I mean?

Like you should be able to say that.

That's just such an

interesting look into you

from my perspective,

you know what I mean?

Because that's one of the

things in our relationship,

one of the few things that

we've ever struggled with

is standing up for us and our family.

You know, to people that

are outside of our family,

whether it's other

family, whether it's friends,

whether whatever it is, standing up.

That's really tough for you to do.

Oh, it's terrible.

And again, it's not

something that comes natural to me

at all.

You know, and that is

something that like,

again, the conflict

resolution is one of those things

where it's like, I'm not gonna, you know,

be like, today I'm going to get better

at conflict resolution.

And that wouldn't necessarily be a,

because that would mean

you have to incite conflict,

I think, to...

No, but it would be like, this year,

I'm just gonna try

better to stand up for myself.

It's not like I'm gonna go search it up,

but if it comes up this

year, I'm gonna try to stand,

I'm gonna try to, I

don't wanna say this enough.

This, that would have

been, what is it called?

Passive aggressive. Passive aggressive.

Like, I'm gonna try to grow a backbone.

So that's what I was gonna say.

And that is, and that's one of the things

I struggle with, right?

I didn't realize I was passive aggressive

till I was told I was.

I'm like, okay, I win.

And then I kind of

tried to unpack why that is.

And I kind of now

understand why I'm passive aggressive

and I try to work, I

do try to work on it.

And now, one out of 10

times, I hear myself say it.

Not enough, obviously.

One out of 10 is terrible.

But that's my point though.

Your point would be, and same with me,

if I was gonna say that,

I'm going to try this year

not to be passive aggressive.

Maybe that would be my New Year's

resolution for this year.

I'm gonna try to do away

with passive aggressiveness.

And on a self-improvement journey, to me,

that's like, okay, well, if

I improve that 10% this year,

that makes me a better person.

So why not try?

You know what I mean?

Why not try?

Because that makes your life better.

That makes our kids' life better.

That makes our friends

and family's lives better

if I incrementally

just try to better myself.

And that's the life arc that I'm on.

And so that's where I come up with that.

Wow, really real here on--

Bombshell.

On KIKX 102.7.

What is the one?

On Love Actually.

He's like, oh.

I don't know that line specifically.

Where he says

something bad about Billy Mack.

And he's like, coincidentally,

Billy Mack's in the, whatever.

That's the worst Christmas song, yeah.

I know, maybe it was when he's like,

oh, can I be honest with you?

And he's like, oh, please do.

That doesn't happen very often.

Often you're right.

It was like, yeah, KIKX, yeah.

So I just threw it in

my old hometown, Winter,

I know, by heart.

(laughing) This is KIKX?

Kicks, 102.7.

Wow.

KIKX.

101.3 KDWB.

Yeah, that's a lot of, K-B.

K-D.

KDWB?

Yeah.

Oh, so it's only for KIKX, yeah.

Yeah.

You get a lot more syllables than yours.

syllables.

I had a lot of syllables, yeah.

101.3 KDWB.

Interesting, interesting.

Well, let's pivot a

little bit on that one.

And we can cut as much

of that out as you want,

because I know we got kind

of real in that a little bit.

And I don't want to feel like

it was on you too much there,

because we could have

turned that on me, like,

and I don't want, I mean,

we don't even dive into it,

but we could have turned it on me.

I mean, there's lots of,

we all have little kids inside of us.

Yeah.

When we talk about it, you know,

we can't believe that we're, you know,

in our mid to late 40s,

because we still feel like kids.

We still feel like we're in our 20s.

Yeah.

But ultimately, we are kids

that are just kind of grown up.

But I mean, we've built

these defenses and, you know,

we've built a lot of

things over time, you know,

around just that delicate,

innocent little kid, right?

We've built careers about it.

We've built education around it.

We beat social norms around it.

You know, so we've built

up just all this stuff,

but if you just knock all that down

to get into the center of it,

we're still just those little kids.

Yeah. You know, I wasn't trying to

pick on you at all in there,

but you know, you're

wanting to be perfect

is kind of in the middle

of yours to some degree,

maybe, might be in there.

And I'm not even trying to,

but like in the middle of

mine is a lot of, you know,

there's a lot of things

that I've struggled with too

that ultimately manifest themselves

in our everyday lives,

even as adults, right?

Like embarrassment or feeling adequate

or feeling, you know,

I want to say love's not

the word, but appreciated,

feeling adequate, you know, with the

people that, you know,

that's mine.

Cause the second,

it even happened

earlier today or some point,

I was like, I just feel

like maybe it wasn't today,

but you know, but if I don't,

if I don't feel that like

sense of like, oh my gosh,

like I feel right

now, like I'm not needed

or appreciated or something like that.

I mean, it's one of

those things that take,

it's like embarrassment.

It takes you straight

back to that little kid.

Oh yeah.

You know what I mean?

And I know a lot of the things,

a lot of my negative qualities,

when I come from that,

that's one of its deepest roots.

So I'm not, I wasn't

trying to pick on you at all.

I'm willing to put

myself out there for that too.

Yeah.

Well, and I think most of our

negative traits or qualities

in general come from

that child, you know,

like whoever we were as a child,

it comes from that.

And it's just, everyone was a

little bit different, right?

Like some of it truly is personality,

but then you compound

that and your nurture,

yeah, your nurture around

you either helps diffuse that

or it augments that bad

thing, you know, like.

It's always a balance of

nature versus nurture, right?

Nature usually gives it to you

and then depends on

how that was nurtured.

To your point, better, for the better,

and for the worse, potentially.

Right, totally true, totally true.

And it's just, it's so

interesting just to see like,

that's why, I love that we,

I don't know if we'll

keep it in or not, you know,

but I love that for one, for the first

time in 48 episodes,

this was like one of our

most real ones of like,

we're little kids inside.

I know everybody, we all try to peacock.

Oh, totally.

You know what I mean?

I love that term, by the way.

Yeah, it's the best term.

Everybody peacocks, shows their feathers,

puts their best foot forward,

that's what Facebook's

all about, all these,

you know what I mean?

Yeah.

And that's why when

you have a best friend,

or a best friend, or a

great spouse in good marriage,

when you're exposed to those things

and you know that you

can put those feathers down

and put those feathers away,

and as ugly as you might

be, or as simple as, you know,

behind those feathers, maybe

that's where that little kid is.

It's not perfect, that's a work.

For me at least, it's

always a work in progress.

I'm not a horrible person, I

don't have major blind spots,

but I can definitely

still improve on things,

you know what I mean?

And it's just interesting,

when people start

peeling back those layers

and being more real about what we are,

for me, it's just that next step, okay,

what are we gonna do to improve that,

you know what I mean?

And that's why I was so surprised,

because with you it was almost like,

you know what, it is what it is.

Why even try to change it?

Because people are who they are, right?

Why try?

That's what I heard you

say, and that's why innately,

for me, I'm like, that bothers me,

because it's like,

I'm constantly looking,

I'll let you talk.

Yeah, no, I was gonna

say, that's actually not,

if that's how it came out, I'm sorry,

that's not actually what I meant,

it was more or less around, you know,

it's like, I have a lot of

things to work on myself,

who am I to tell you, and

what you need to work on?

I mean, part of that is just like,

hey, I can't get frustrated with you,

because, we'll bring up a

real example today, right?

When you were really busy,

and you're moving

around the house quickly

to get all your things

done and all your to do,

okay, usually that's

me doing that, right?

Because I'm, I don't know,

I'm always kind of manic,

I don't know, but, it's like, I'm not,

I wasn't gonna say

anything to you about it,

because I was like, that's

something I need to work on,

you know, and it

wasn't until you were like,

what's going on, are you

okay, you seem stressed,

what's happening, and

you start asking questions

that I said anything, I

had no intention of doing it,

because I was like,

something I struggle with,

how can I tell you to not do it,

when it's still

something I struggle with,

and I need to get better at,

who am I to critique

you on that, you know?

And that a lot of times

is my thought process.

Yeah, well first of all,

how dare you say

something a bit negative about me?

(laughs) I'm just kidding.

No, totally fair point there,

I would just suggest that

there's a handful of people

that you have the right to

say that to in life, right?

We're not gonna go to the soccer field

and say that to people.

No.

Right, we're not gonna

stand out on the street

and be like, excuse me,

sense of fashion's way off, you know?

(laughs) That is not working.

As fun as it would be to go to the mall

and just rip everybody apart,

you know, that's not the suggestion here,

you know, there's 10 people in a life

that your life touches close enough

that you should be

able to say that to you,

and I'm one of them,

our kids are some of them,

and your direct family is some of them.

I mean, if you can't

have a real conversation

with those people, how

real is that relationship?

That's my field.

And I get it.

Now, again, that's deep because it's,

you were raised a certain way that,

you know, what is the,

what's that one, they

made a movie about it

where everybody's perfect on the street.

Oh, oh, oh, Stepford Wives or whatever.

Yeah, yeah, so it's a

little bit like Stepford Wives

but the step for

children, the step for child.

Like you're, this isn't me

getting into your upbringing

and pointing any fingers there,

but I'm just saying the outcome there is

you were not raised in a

way that that was normal

to say like, hey, this is,

that you could open up

that in that kind of a way

because you don't do it now

and you won't even, you

still won't do it with them.

You didn't do it

then, you won't do it now,

and you're even applying that to me.

Now, on the other hand, I

was so far the other way

that, you know, I was

brought up in a different way

where we did voice issues and opinions,

you know, and now I've

had to adjust as an adult

what the appropriate

manner to do that is.

Yeah.

Because sometimes I can over share that

or share it in a way

that's not as respectful

as it should be or as, not

respectful is the wrong word,

it's not as delicate as it should be.

Yeah. You know what I mean?

But that, to your point,

both of them are things

that we should be able to do,

I think in a healthy relationship,

but because of that

nature versus nurture thing,

both of us have come

to this point in time

and are able to do

that or unable to do that

in our own ways because of that life art

that has got us to this point.

Whether that's right or

wrong, that's where we're at,

and that's where I get

back to the resolution thing

where it's like, if we

understand those things,

well, maybe January 1st is just an

arbitrary day to say,

you know what, I'm gonna be better

about just being a little bit more open

or I'm not gonna be passive aggressive

or I'll try not to be manic

and bleed out everybody else,

the stress that I'm feeling.

Yeah. You know?

So, and maybe January

4th's a good day to do it.

(laughs) You know? Yeah.

So anyways, well, that was

an interesting conversation,

if nothing else.

I feel like I've offended you,

I can just see it in

your face, you're like,

you look like a deer in the headlights.

I feel like I've let you down.

Like, I'm surprised that

this is a revelation to you.

I mean, we've been

together for almost 21 years

and I've done like three resolutions,

one of which was flossing

and I've only missed a

handful of days in the last year

since I made the resolution thing.

Yeah, it's not like it's big things,

but it's not the resolution thing,

it's more or less just

always on a constant growth

of becoming a better person.

Yeah. You know what I mean?

And I'm not suggesting you're not wanting

to become a better person,

I'm not suggesting you

think you're perfect already

or whatnot, it's just the puzzle pieces

are falling together a little bit more

for me to see a clearer picture of why

some of the things that we've discussed

throughout our entire relationship

have been slow moving, right?

(laughs)

No, there's never been,

I'm trying to be delicate

on how to say certain things

that I'm not trying to

be offensive or anything,

but it is, I think it just painted

a fuller picture for me

today, which is interesting.

Not that I didn't know those things,

but it painted, I think it

was more of an epiphany to me

of like, oh, that's interesting.

Yeah.

That's a little bit

more why this or why that,

you know what I mean? Yeah.

And I think it's what I've come to find

in this conversation is

I think it's a lot deeper

of a conversation that has

to be had to get to those

real moments of self-improvement.

Yeah.

Discussions with you.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

That comes from much,

much deeper space in you.

That gets way, that's

way behind the feathers,

that gets close to the little Megan.

Whereas

self-improvement for me is not as close

to little Sean as other topics might be.

And I think that's where my epiphany was.

Interesting.

That makes sense.

Yeah, I think so.

I don't know, I am super curious though.

Like who is more like you versus me on

the resolution thing?

I am curious to be like--

Oh, out there?

Out there.

Like, gonna have to do

some scouting on the--

Well, just be open on it.

I'm not a huge resolution guy,

I just like the beginning of New Year.

It's always a new fresh start.

It just feels that way.

Like, you know, I just try to

be a better person this year.

I was never like, here's my

list of New Year's resolutions

and I'm gonna do every one of them.

I've never liked that.

It's just like, it's a

fresh start, it's a new year.

The opportunities are

endless to some degree.

And I'm not trying to

be naive about that,

you know what I mean?

But it's just like, it's gonna be,

why can't this be the best year?

Is how I feel.

Whereas I think you're just steady Eddie.

We just turned another date.

It's no big deal, it's a new calendar.

Steady Eddie, steady Eddie.

And I'm like, no, this could

be the best year of our lives.

And that's a different way to look at it.

Yeah.

And I'm like, let's just

hope it's better than last year.

Well, coming off last

year, it's gotta be.

We've had a couple of years

in there where you're like,

oh, that was a rough year.

Oh, that one was a great year.

Sometimes you do have those

where you look back and

you're like, that one, 2015.

I don't know if 2015 was a

great year, but you know.

Yeah.

It's like, you do have those,

some that are awesome and some that are.

Yeah, but as you look back at your life,

you're like, oh, there's

good and bad years, right?

Absolutely.

So I mean, it's just a

frame of reference of like,

you know what?

Yeah.

Hopefully this will be a great year.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

Mm-hmm.

I mean, if you want to, we could go to,

you know, we could go to a calendar year.

Instead of a calendar year,

we could do a fiscal year in for you.

That'd make you feel better.

So we could start, you know,

April 1st, April Fool's Day.

That feels very apropos.

(laughs)

Oh my gosh.

In that year for us,

it would be incredible.

It would be amazing.

It's a fiscal year, not a calendar year.

It's a fiscal year.

Oh my gosh.

We have people watching this going,

what is a fiscal year?

No, they don't.

We have a smart audience.

A lot of finance people out there.

Yeah.

What is a fiscal year?

Yeah, that's right.

We're a fiscal year.

We're doing fiscal

New Year's resolutions.

That would be hilarious.

(laughs) Yeah, I think mine's more of

just that continuous journey,

whether it's on one one or

whether it's on eight six.

I don't know, I picked a random date.

I don't know that it is

even after this discussion.

I think you're just kind

of, you are what you are

is how it kind of came to me.

No.

Yeah, no, that's not how I see it at all.

Like it really is like

just getting better every day,

like better than I was yesterday.

I think that's more my mentality is like,

and life hands me

things as it does everybody

that naturally helps me work on things

that I'm not very good at.

You know?

Yeah.

You don't believe me at all.

I don't know what to say to it.

Well, let's stop recording

and we can continue the conversation.

This is interesting.

Yeah.

Interesting.

We're starting to get long.

So let's wrap.

Got it.

Unless you wanted to say something else.

No.

Sure.

Yeah, I think I've dug

myself quite the hole here.

So I don't know that I'm

gonna say anything else.

We don't have flashing

lights or anything this time.

So we're gonna have to

rerecord another one.

We'll put this one on ice.

We'll put the other one out.

We'll put the other one out

when we're sitting in Sadie.

Yeah.

Well, then should we think of a word,

sum up with the last week?

Yeah.

We should.

Pressure.

All right, ready?

Yeah.

One, two, three.

Prepare. Lego.

Oh, I love yours.

I love yours.

Okay, you have to

explain why we picked Lego.

Well, we just did a lot of Legos.

I was gonna say I had two.

But your prepare is

really where mine was.

It's just like, we had fun doing Legos.

We had fun over the holidays.

Over New Year's was great relaxation.

It went fast.

Always.

All that was fun.

But beneath that surface, that pressure

that I was talking

about, it's been building.

And come next week, I

mean, we're back on it.

That's the thing with vacations, right?

They're fantastic,

but you gotta come back.

That's reality.

I know.

I know.

We should just retire.

Let's just do that.

We're announcing here.

Yeah.

An announcement to make.

Mm.

Yeah, I know.

It goes to the string colors.

Yeah, that's exactly right.

No, because even though

we, I mean, we do fun things,

but it's still a very

relaxing time, right?

We do Legos.

Like, for me, that's super

relaxing to do Legos, puzzles.

It's all that same thing, right?

But I need that time to prepare

for just running at a full-out sprint

for the next, you know, five, six months.

Yeah.

And so not only is it like the new year

and preparing, it's that,

okay, I need to mentally

like recharge my battery so that I'm

ready to go for the next.

I don't think you got it this time.

I don't feel like you let it down.

We can't get too into

that for so long as it is,

but I don't feel like you

had that let down this time.

Like that decompression.

Oh, I think I did.

Did you?

Yeah. Okay.

Yeah.

So I'm pretty sure I did.

I'm pretty sure I did.

You'll check in with yourself later.

I'll ask myself later.

Oh no, if I'm sleeping till

like 8, 8.30 in the morning,

like, no, I think I'm okay.

(laughs) No, I'm good.

I think I'm nice and chill.

Good, good, good.

So, yeah.

Awesome.

Well, wrap it up.

We will wrap it up.

You wanna sign off?

You can sign off.

You're a better sign off.

I don't have a sign off.

That's why I was gonna

wait and see what you did.

Well, I have to stick with my chow chow.

I know, but we know, I don't have like a,

we'll see you on the

flip side and until then,

chow chow.

And I say see ya, right?

We'll see ya on the flip side.

Yeah, we don't have

a, that's the sign off.

I'm talking about that we don't have.

That we don't have.

Yeah. And have it.

Never.

Yeah.

We don't have a calling card.

It's just really bad.

The whole way through.

There's just like--

It like peters out of there.

You should have, yeah, just peters out.

Just loose.

Or we just go to the striped colors.

All right, I think that's it.

All right, chow chow.

We'll see ya.

All right.

That's pretty fun.

(upbeat music)

All right, we're back.

We're back.

I mean, I'm not

suggesting you have a lot of ways

to improve, I think you're perfect.

Yeah, no, no, no, that's never been me.

Yeah. Is that bad?

No, I don't, it's you. Really bad?

I'm a little shocked at it.

I'd be curious how many

other people are like that,

because--

I'm terrible at texting.

Last year was more like, I

need to be more positive.

Yeah.

Yeah, I don't think that worked.

I, for better or for

worse, probably for worse,

that almost innately bothered me.

(laughing)

My life arc has always provided me

opportunities to improve.

Uh oh, I didn't mean to do that.

Bombshell.

On KIKX, 102.7.

101.3 KDWV.

First of all, how dare you say something

a bit negative about me?

(laughing) Excuse me, since the fashion's way up.

Hey, just out of curiosity,

what's that really blinking light?

(upbeat music)

All right, we're back. We're back. I

mean, I'm not suggesting you have a lot

of ways to improve. I

think you're perfect.

Yeah, no, no, no. That's never been me.

Yeah. Is that bad?

No, I don't. It's you. Really? Not?

I'm a little shocked at it. I'd be

curious how many other

people are like that because...

I'm terrible at texting. Last year was

more like I need to be more positive.

Yeah. You know, I

don't think that worked.

I...

For better or for worse, probably for

worse. That almost innately bothers me.

My life arc has always provided me

opportunities to improve.

Uh oh. I didn't mean to do that.

Bombshell. On KIKX 102.7. 101.3 KDWB.

First of all, how dare you say something

a bit negative about me?

Excuse me.

Since the fashion's way off. Hey, just

out of curiosity. What's

that really blinking light?

You look like a deer in the headlights.

I feel like I've let you down.

It's crazy to think

we've done this for a year.

That is crazy.

Yeah, we did 47 episodes out of 52 weeks.

Hey, we're really clickin'.

Oh really?

Hey, just out of curiosity,

what's that really blinking light?

All right, we're back.

We're back.

We actually have a

clicker, and we just take two.

I mean, I'm not

suggesting you have a lot of ways

to improve, I think you're perfect.

Yeah, no, no, no, that's never been me.

Yeah. Is that bad?

No, I don't, it's

you. Really, you're not?

I'm a little shocked at it.

I'd be curious how many

other people are like that,

because-- I'm terrible at texting.

That's a perfect

thing for next New Year's

for me to work on.

Last year was more like, I

need to be more positive.

Yeah. Yeah.

I don't think that worked.

I, for better or for

worse, probably for worse,

and I'm the steady Eddie, right?

Like, I'm just like, floatin' along.

That almost innately

bothers me, which is weird.

My life arc has always provided me

opportunities to improve,

and I'm just shocked that there's others

that don't view it that way.

I mean, it's innately

bothering me right now.

Uh-oh, I didn't mean to do that.

But do you think most

people are that self-aware?

We can cut as much of this as we need to,

because it's kind of a

real conversation here.

Bombshell. On KIKX, 102.7.

101.3 KDWB.

We all try to peacock.

First of all, how dare you say something

a bit negative about me?

Excuse me.

Since the fashion's way off.

You look like a deer in the headlights.

I feel like I've let you down.

You don't believe me at all.

I don't know what to say to it.

That's the thing with vacations, right?

They're fantastic,

but you gotta come back.

Back to reality.

I think we're good.

I think we're good.

I mean--

We're back into it two weeks in a row.

Two weeks.

Quite the record.

Yeah.

Well, I need to put it up on our website.

I would get these

things from like Transistor.

That's the web thing that we used to

host, actually posting the podcast.

Got it.

And it gives you like fake little medals

that you can download.

We just got our like one year medal.

Oh, yay.

We don't want to

actually send you anything.

You have to download it.

I mean, the best prizes

you always have to download.

Yeah, that's right.

That's right.

It's like--

It's been a year or so.

We talked about that last time a little

bit, but it's crazy to

think we've done this for

a year.

That is crazy.

Yeah, we did 47 episodes out of 52 weeks.

That's so cool.

Although now I'm curious,

which ones did we not do?

Do we do abbreviated versions like when

we were on vacation this summer?

We may have missed one or two on a

vacation here or there.

I think what happened was the year

anniversary came when I

created it, not when we first

posted one.

Got it.

I think our first one was until like

January like six, like

this week would be ours.

But we're still like two probably short,

which I know we skipped one or two.

We have one in the

backlog for a rainy day.

That was never posted.

Yeah, and it might have

been the best one ever, but--

It may have.

I remember thinking like,

hey, we're really clicking.

Oh, really?

How often does that happen out of 47?

It was quite a few.

Yeah.

It was quite a few.

There were fewer.

It was like, I'm trying to think of the

transition in my head

while we're talking.

It's never good when we're trying to

transition something.

Usually we always try to

have some idea we're going into.

And we never get the good ones.

We never get to those.

I feel like at least.

Yeah.

But who knows?

Maybe others would desert.

I know.

We'll have to do like a poll the

listeners or something.

Thumbs up, thumbs down.

I was really saying, I really like to get

like a couple segments in this where it's

like we get to like things that we look

forward to every week.

People are like, oh, OK.

They do this.

You know, like everything else is lame,

but I do love their I'm peeved segment.

You know what I mean?

Here's what peeved me this week because

there's never a shortage of that.

No.

And it's nice.

Probably a little, you know, therapeutic

for us to get it out.

For sure.

Yeah.

Because we I mean.

Even with you and I like, you know what?

You peeved me this week.

Are you peeved me today?

You peeved me.

Yeah.

We can we can give like real time, you

know, conflict resolution examples.

Yeah.

Would that be funny if we had like we

don't we don't argue

much about much honestly at

all, but it would be funny one time to be

like, you know what?

Let's take this to the

booth, to the studio.

We're going to.

This is a real time talk through.

Uh huh.

Yeah.

Things like I really would probably never

publish that because I would be like, oh,

I that might not like I don't like how I

am painted in that one.

You know, like I really am

more stubborn than I thought.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Hey, just sort of curiosity.

What's that really blinking light?

All right.

We're back.

We're back.

Some technical difficulties.

Maybe we'll see.

We'll see.

We'll see what this looks like.

The video was horrible

for the last two minutes.

We hopefully it's better now.

I know.

This was the first time.

So in 48 episodes, the first time we've

ever had to take two.

Yeah.

We used to take two.

Nobody's ever seen this.

I don't think.

We just take two.

We're so official.

Very official.

So all right.

Well, hopefully that's better than.

Hopefully.

Let's see what happens.

I now am a little nervous because I

recorded morning

cereal right before this.

I know.

And I actually saw it doing

that then too at the end of it.

Okay.

So.

And there was a morning cereal episode

last week that was like.

It was.

It was like, yeah.

Frozen faces of Sean.

It was.

Did you see that one?

I was sitting next to

you while you were editing.

Oh yeah.

You didn't watch anything last week.

You took the week off to you.

I did.

But I did see it while editing.

All right.

Well, we'll just keep going with it.

So anyways, you know, we kind of left off

last week with just.

Last year was a good year to get over

with and we're moving

into a new year, 2026.

Yep.

With high hopes and

whatnot, which everybody does.

For me, this is a time of year that's

always like fresh starts.

I think I think a lot of

people say do it that way.

That's why resolutions are around.

I was resolutions like this year.

I'm not going to do this or, you know,

I'm going to start

flossing or whatever it might

be.

Right.

Right.

You know, but it's

always like a new start.

And for me, I always maybe more so.

I mean, is that how

you look at them or not?

Because I'm getting the feeling over the

last day or two that

it's just another day

to you.

It's not like, oh yeah, fresh start.

Yeah, no, it's not.

No, I don't have that

feeling of like, oh, first start.

I never did in New Year's resolution

until you're like, hey,

what's your New Year's resolution

when we were dating

or married or whatever.

I just crazy.

You have to be in the

minority there, right?

I don't know.

I have no idea.

I've got to find out from people if

that's like a minority thing.

Because I figured that the so the new is

New Year's special to you at all.

You know what?

It's I always have mixed

emotions around New Year's.

Like I always think it's kind of sad,

kind of exciting, like,

but overall, it's one of

my least favorite holidays.

Yeah.

Yeah.

I don't get excited about it.

Yeah.

I get excited about the

fun things that we do.

We do family game

night and stuff like that.

But I don't I'm not like, yes, a new

year, fresh start like that.

That is not my thought.

I wonder if that's I wonder if that just

has something to do

with the fact that you've

always had life

together for the most part.

You know what I mean?

Whereas other people like me, really

before I met you mostly,

but I mean, I had tough

years where it was like just trying to

figure out who I was, you

know, trying to claw myself

out of holes I dug and, you know, and

when you're in that,

sometimes it's like, okay,

I'm glad this year is done, because next

year is going to be a great year.

Because this year, like you said, this

year is one of the

toughest of your life, probably

the toughest of our life together.

But I would not say it was the toughest

of my life altogether.

Right.

You know what I mean?

It was toughest from a family standpoint.

Yeah.

You know, and things like

that and what we deal with here.

But I've had way tougher years.

Yeah.

In my in my life.

And that's why for me, it's like, I was

it kind of blew my mind

a little bit that you're

not like, yeah, it's a whole new year.

Like this year, I'm gonna

do this, I'm gonna do this.

Like most people are like, I'm

gonna get in shape this year.

I'm gonna stop drinking or

smoking or whatever this year.

Right.

Right.

And for people that are pretty happy with

themselves, it's not that way, I guess.

I mean, is that not you don't think of

ways to I mean, I'm not

suggesting you have a lot

of ways to improve.

I think you're perfect.

No, no, no, no, that's not

what you're suggesting at all.

But I just most people are like, you know

what, this is what

I'd like to I need to be

better at this.

I'm gonna do that this year.

And I know, because you said you've never

thought of a New

Year's resolution, you never

really thought of your life

that way or yourself that way.

Yeah, I don't.

And it's not that there aren't things

that I know I need to improve on.

I just don't necessarily think like, oh,

New Year, fresh start, let's do this.

Now, I am this person.

I'm gonna be the person who loves to eat

salad and workout like, I

don't know, I don't know

if I'm just more of a realist because I'm

like, whoa, that

would be a drastic change.

Like, you know, and there have been times

whatever, I'm not gonna go on that.

But I just know I've never been like,

yep, fresh start, let's

just be different now.

That's never been me.

Yeah.

Is that bad?

No, I don't.

It's you.

I'm a little shocked at it.

I'd be curious how many other people are

like that because I

mean, honestly, I'm a little

shocked at that.

For me, I always feel like I'm on a

journey of self improvement

through life at all times.

I can always be better.

What better time than January 1,

beginning of a new year

when everybody's like, it's

a new year.

You can do anything.

The world's a new place.

It doesn't be the best year of our lives.

It's always just like a good day one

starting point versus,

you know, March 8th is when

I'm gonna do it.

You know what I mean?

Like, it's like a weird, you know, but

usually there's something

that most people from my

perspective are like, you know, I could

be better at this and why not try?

This is a good time to try that.

Yeah.

And it's not that I

don't think that, right?

I just don't use the

new year as one of them.

A lot of people do.

I have no idea.

The percentage of people like me versus

the percentage of people

like you, I would imagine

there's more people.

I mean, New Year's

resolutions, that's a thing.

People talk about it.

They always say gym

memberships are the highest.

And so clearly there are so many people

that turn over that new

leaf or try to turn over

that new leaf.

I think I'm partly just jaded because I'm

like, yeah, but by

January 7th, they're not

doing it anymore.

So that new thing that you wanted to do,

like most people don't keep doing it.

Well, when I say I'm gonna start

flossing, I flossed every day since then.

So I hear you on that.

There's probably been New Year's things

that I'm like, I'm

gonna be better at this.

And then I haven't been as good as I want

to be, but I've been better overall.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

It's not like I've ever been like, this

year I'm gonna do this

every day or I'm never gonna

do this ever again.

And then on January 7th,

it was already out the door.

Right.

I just think I'm a little more

disciplined than that.

And maybe the general population isn't as

disciplined as that.

And that's where you're taking your

negativity towards that.

That was just as insightful.

Yeah.

And again, I want to reiterate, it is not

that there aren't things that I can work,

that I don't start over here.

Here are things I know I need to work on,

but I don't necessarily

look at that as January

1st.

It's like, oh, it's

finally getting through my head.

I need to be less stubborn or, oh, it's

getting through my head.

I need to respond faster on texts.

I'm terrible at texting.

I know I need to get better,

but it's not like January 1st.

I'm gonna start that.

Yeah.

And I think those are things, I think

everybody does that

throughout the year, like, oh, okay,

this is bubbled up to the surface and I'm

like having a bit of an epiphany here.

They're like, I'm bad at this.

I need to be better at this.

And if it's July 3rd,

it's not like, you know what?

That's a perfect thing for next New

Year's for me to work on.

You know what I mean?

Most people are like, yeah, I should

probably start doing that now.

Most of the things I need to work on are

like a now thing, right?

But if like, I think there's a lot of,

the way I look at it is

there's a lot of, I mean,

those are like smaller goal type things

of just, you know, just

trying to be better at

being a person.

But then I think people have like those

overall overarching ones too.

They're like, you know what?

In a perfect world, I want to be more of

this kind of person.

And for me to get to that

point, I need to be doing this.

You know what I mean?

And a lot of people like for working out,

you know, it's like,

okay, I'm gonna get through

the holidays where I'm gonna eat a ton

and it's a really good

starting point, you know,

to start January 1st, new year.

I'm gonna do that then.

I think that's why a lot of people do

that, you know, or

drinking or whatever it might

be.

They're like, I'm gonna do that on that or whatever.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

But it's like, it's a more holistic,

like, just always wanted

to be more of this kind

of a person or do this in general.

And this is a good time to do it because

it doesn't affect my life

if I didn't do it yesterday,

if I don't do it tomorrow.

Like some of the maybe smaller things

that you're talking

about are, you know, like if

you're a bad texter, it doesn't do any

good in September to wait to January.

It's like, I'm gonna

start texting people back now.

Exactly.

You know what I mean?

But if you're gonna stop

smoking, you know what I mean?

I mean, like, yeah, I mean, from a

medical standpoint, I

probably better start stop smoking

tomorrow.

Right.

But it's like, you know what?

2026 is gonna be the

year I stopped smoking.

Yeah.

You know what I mean?

And maybe people do, maybe they don't.

That's so interesting.

Like, I just, I mean, that's totally, I

learned something about it here.

Because we don't do that.

It's never, it's never really a big,

like, because I've asked

you, what are your resolutions?

You never have any.

No.

And I'm always surprised because in the

back of my mind, I'm

like, oh, well, I guess she's

perfect.

No.

And that's not it at all.

It's, I think part of it is, and this

goes back to maybe what

you were saying of like,

because of your upbringing, not

necessarily upbringing, but

like, how you are, your life,

yeah, your life arc, right?

I think you feel like you have to

reinvent yourself and you're, you know.

No, that's not right.

I'm not reinventing myself ever.

I am who I am.

How do I, yeah, how do I say like, I

don't know, you are

more, you've always been more

about new starts.

Maybe when I was younger, it was a

reinvention because it was

like, I don't like who I was.

I don't like to think who I was.

Yeah.

Yeah.

Maybe way back then.

Now it's not like that at all.

Yeah. I mean, like, my New Year's resolution, I

keep using it four years

ago, it was like flossing.

It's not like I'm like, I

need to major life change this.

Right.

Yeah.

For me, like, okay, flossing.

I don't even know

that I had one last year.

Last year was more like, I

need to be more positive.

Yeah.

I don't think that worked.

January 7th, I think

that one stopped too.

Someone on the road cut you

off and that one went way down.

That's just two and eight.

I can't stop that.

Yeah.

Because you can't change, I

think, personality things.

Right.

But most people aren't like that.

I'm going to be, well, I guess you could

say, I'm going to be more

outgoing this year, even

though I'm an introvert.

I just need to be more, I need to try

harder at making connections with people.

Yeah.

Right.

Yeah.

Say that.

You can.

This year, I'm going to

eat a little bit better.

I'm going to start doing a, what's that?

Like a cleanse or a fast.

I'm going to fast every month, you know,

or something like that.

You know what I mean?

Like, those are good times to reinvent

that part of yourself.

It's like, it's going

to make me healthier.

Yeah.

I'm holding myself to something.

I've got a start date.

People like start dates

for those kind of things.

Yeah.

So anyways, we're kind of beating the

dead horse here, I

think, to some degree, but I'm

shocked at that.

I'm sure we'll talk about that more after

or off of this

because it's shocking to me.

And maybe you hit the nail on the head,

or we both did here,

where it's more of an issue

of just our life arcs.

Like, you've just been happy with the

person that you are and

you don't really need to

"reinvent" or add this and the little

tweaks that you need to make to yourself.

Like you just do it during the year.

Which I would be so interested to hear

how many people are like

that versus people like

me who are like, "Hey, I even like it in

the office because I

get to take all, because

I file all the bills."

All 12 months are in there, and at the

end of the year, they

all get stapled together.

I pull them all out, all the gas bills,

electricity bills, cell

phones, all those, they all get

put in a folder and we hold on to them

for three years

because that's maybe what the

tax man wants.

And I get rid of the other three-year one

upstairs, it cycles

out and it gets recycled.

I love the cleaning

and that part of it too.

That's like cleansing for you.

I love it.

That is a personality thing for me.

It is, yeah.

You are a hyper-organized

person and you like the process.

Not only do you need things organized,

you like the process of organization.

That out with the old, in with the new.

And I think that's part of that

personality trait is one

reason why you gravitate toward

New Year's resolutions.

I, for better or for worse, probably for

worse, am not like that

when it comes to like, "Oh

sweet, I get to clean out my office.

I get to throw this away.

This is from an old year."

No.

I, no.

Yeah, you're just...

I just...

I'm the steady Eddie.

You're the steady Eddie. I'm the steady Eddie, right?

I'm just like floating along.

Yeah.

That's...

So good.

That almost innately bothers me.

It's weird.

I'm sure people are

reading through this right now.

That almost innately bothers me that

someone isn't looking for

that self-improvement on

a consistent basis.

That you could be that happy with who you

are and how you are,

mentally, physically,

everything.

You know what I mean?

That...

And it's not a resolution, because I'm

not like, "Here's my

resolution this year, everybody."

I'm not big on resolutions.

I don't care about that, but a new year

is always a good

starting point to like, "Hey,

last year was a tough...

I'm usually pretty

good about working out.

Last year it fell off for a

million different reasons.

It started strong and then kind of fell

off at summer for

whatever reason, but it's always

like, "I just need to

be better about that.

I'm going to try to make

it through a whole year."

It's almost like daring yourself or

setting a challenge for

yourself to be better.

Yeah.

And that's just...

My life arc has always provided me

opportunities to improve.

And I'm just shocked that there's others

that don't view it that way.

I mean, it's innately

bothering me right now.

Uh-oh.

I didn't mean to do that.

No, I know.

That's crazy though.

So anyways, wow.

Wow.

Well, I'm sorry.

I told you, I got a

good question for you.

We'll see how that goes.

Well, that went.

That was the question.

There it is.

That was the big one.

I feel like I didn't answer it correctly,

although I answered it honestly.

No, there's no right or wrong on that.

You know, I mean, like...

I would be curious if there's a

psychologist sitting here and

how they would explore that.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

That part of it.

Because we've talked through things, and

now this is a little bit

of pivot, but as a couple,

you have to be able to talk about things

that are like, "Hey,

here's something that...

If you could do this

differently, it'd be better."

We've been honest with

each other on that one.

I have to drag it out

of you a lot of the time.

So I'm like, "Tell me."

You know what I mean?

I'm a dumb male.

Like, sometimes you have to hit me over

the head, you know, and just tell me.

And then I'll do it 100%.

And me being the way that I am, I'm

fairly open, you know,

emotions on the sleeve.

I usually tell you, like,

"Hey, here's what I need."

You know, like, "This is

the way this is coming across.

This is how this is."

So, I mean, I'm rambling here a bit, and

I'm talking too much.

But the long and the short of it there

feel, to me, is like,

generally when we have some

of those conversations, you don't like to

hear that there are ways to improve.

Like, there is a lot of

pushback there at times.

And so this is just kind of a bigger

window into that, like,

"Oh, now I understand even

more so why."

Anytime there ever is, like, "Hey, if you

could maybe, you know, do this."

And like, where I'm always like the

opposite way, like, "I'm an idiot.

Like, you know, like, if

I mess up, just tell me.

I will change it."

You know what I mean?

Like, I'm okay not being perfect.

And I think this is where that

psychologist thing comes in.

You have to be perfect.

And this is what I'm saying.

I really don't have to

dive into this at all.

But when I tell you there's

ways, you don't like that.

That means you're not

doing everything perfect.

And I'm not suggesting

you think you're perfect.

I know you're doing it.

That's not your personality.

But the little girl

inside you needs that.

Does that make sense?

Yeah, yeah.

I think there's, you know, in going, "I

am a perfectionist, 100%."

Like, if I could be perfect, I would pick that, you know, as like my wish, right?

And I know I'm not.

But I don't know if this goes back to

like when I was, I

don't know what it was, you

know, like early

dating and stuff like that.

I always read like, "You can't change

people, so don't even try.

Just accept them for

who they are," you know?

And so I've always

been like, "You know what?

Whoever you are, that's fantastic.

You don't need to hear from me.

You know better than I do what you need to work on."

You know, so that's always my kind of philosophy. And I think that's what I'm saying. I do what you need to work on.

You know, so that's always my kind of

philosophy, only because I

know exactly what I need to

work on, you know?

And so it's like, you're usually not

telling me something

that I don't know already.

But do you think most

people are that self-aware?

I mean, I guess maybe you are more

self-aware than a lot of people are.

If you know exactly everything you need

to work on, that's very self-aware.

Well, I don't know

everything I need to work on.

That's what you just said, though.

Well, I know many of the

things I need to work on.

Okay, okay.

I mean, that's a different thing.

I do.

I'm like, if you tell me I'm stubborn,

and I know that, thanks.

I am aware of that, you know?

So I think that's part of it, of like,

"Oh, I know where I am not.

I am not even good, let alone perfect."

You know?

That's not true at all.

Now I feel like you're backpedaling here,

and I'm not trying to come down on you at

all here.

That was just an open door, and we can

cut as much of this as

we need to, because it's

kind of a real conversation here.

And I'm not trying to put you under it.

You can put me under it.

We can swap it and put me under the

microscope somehow here,

too, because there's lots of

ways to do that as well.

But I mean, even like you just said, I'm

well aware that I'm

stubborn, as though it's something

you would...a bad trait, right?

And most people are like, "Well, if I

have a bad trait, I think

I'd like to improve that."

You know what I mean?

But the way you're saying it now, to me,

the way I'm hearing it,

the way it's coming across,

is just the way I am.

People don't change.

I mean, like, I understand that.

Thank you for telling me

that, but I already know that.

There's nothing in there of like, "Gosh

dang, I've got to

get...I've got to change that.

It's my worst trait.

I've got to get over it.

I've got to work through that somehow,"

which is how I would

approach...if someone were

to tell me something like that, that's

how I would approach it.

That's how I can change it fully, but I

can sure work on it.

Right, right.

And I'm not saying that either.

It's not that...just because I know that

something is...like I have

a bad trait, that I don't

try to work on it.

That's not what I'm saying at all.

I know I need to work on it.

It may never be perfect.

It may never even be good, but it's

something that's on my mind to work on.

And if you have a trait like that,

oftentimes I'm like, "You

know better than I do what

you need to work on."

And so I don't feel the need to mention

it most of the time.

Yeah, but sometimes to me, and that's

where we're different, that's okay.

But if I'm continuously doing something,

you should be like,

"Hey, Sean, apparently you

should know this better than me."

But you're not

improving on whatever that is.

You know what I mean?

Which is kind of the offhand, but it's

true to you because we've

had lots of conversations

with situations that are uncomfortable.

You lay down, right?

Because there's a long time we talked

about you being the doormat.

You know what I mean?

Like not standing up.

I dislike conflict.

I can't stand it.

And I'll never be good at it.

But it's something

that I have to deal with.

But that's even the lowest level of

conflict, like with a

spouse that you've known for two

decades plus.

Be like, "Hey, you are not

getting better at this, Sean.

You've got to get better at that."

You know what I mean?

Like you should be able to say that.

That's just such an interesting look into

you from my perspective.

Because that's one of the things we've...

That's one of the things in our

relationship, one of the few things that

we've ever struggled

with is standing up

for us and our family.

You want to get to people that are

outside of our family,

whether it's other family,

whether it's friends,

whether whatever it is.

Standing up.

That's really tough for you to do.

Oh, it's terrible.

And again, it's not something that comes

natural to me at all.

That is something that, again, the

conflict resolution is one

of those things where it's

like, "I'm not going to be like, "Today

I'm going to get better

at conflict resolution."

And that wouldn't necessarily be a...

Because that would mean you have to

incite conflict, I think, to...

No, but it would be like, "This year I'm

just going to try better

to stand up for myself."

It's not like I'm

going to go search it up.

But if it comes up, "This

year I'm going to try to stand...

I'm going to try to...

I don't want to say this enough.

That would have been, what is it called?

Passive aggressive.

Passive aggressive.

I'm going to try to grow a backbone.

So that's what I was going to say.

And that's one of the

things I struggle with, right?

I didn't realize I was passive aggressive

until I was told I was.

I'm like, "Okay, I win."

And then I kind of

tried to unpack why that is.

And I kind of now understand

why I'm passive aggressive.

And I try to work...

I do try to work on it.

And now, one out of 10

times, I hear myself say it.

Not enough, obviously.

One out of 10 is terrible.

But that's my point though.

Your point would be, and same with me if

I was going to say

that, "I'm going to try

this year not to be passive aggressive.

Maybe that would be my New Year's

resolution for this year.

I'm going to try to do away

with passive aggressiveness."

And on a self-improvement journey, to me,

that's like, "Okay,

well, if I improve that

10% this year, that

makes me a better person.

So why not try?"

You know what I mean?

Why not try?

Because that makes your life better.

That makes our kids' life better.

It was our friends and family's lives

better if I incrementally

just try to better myself.

You know what I mean?

And that's the life arc that I'm on.

And so that's where I come up with that.

Wow.

What?

Wow.

Really, really here on...

Bombshell.

On KIKX102.7.

What is the one?

KIKX. What is the one?

On Love Actually.

He's like, "Oh."

Oh, I don't know that line specifically.

Where he says

something bad about Billy Mack.

Oh, and he goes, "Oh, wow."

And he's like, "Coincidentally, Billy

Mack's in the... whatever."

It's the worst Christmas song.

Yeah, yeah.

Oh, no, maybe it was when he's like, "Oh,

can I be honest with you?"

And he's like, "Oh, please do.

That doesn't happen very often.

You're on...

You're right.

It was like, "Yeah.

KIKX."

Yeah.

So I just threw it in my old hometown,

which I know by heart.

This is KIKX.

KIKX102.7.

Wow.

KIKX.

101.3 KDWB.

Yeah.

That's a lot of K-B.

K-D.

K-D-W-B.

Yeah.

Oh, so it's only for KIKX, yeah.

Yeah.

You get a lot more syllables than yours.

syllables.

I had a lot of syllables, yeah.

101.3 KDWB.

Interesting.

Interesting.

Well, let's pivot a little bit on that

one, and we can cut as

much of that out as you

want to, because I know we got kind of

real in that a little bit.

Yeah.

I don't want to feel like it was on you

too much there, because

we could have turned that

on me.

And I don't want to, I mean, we don't

even dive into it, but

we could have turned it

on me.

I mean, there's lots of ... We all have

little kids inside of us.

Yeah.

When we talk about it, we can't believe

that we're in our mid to

late 40s, because we still

feel like kids.

We still feel like we're in our 20s.

Yeah.

But ultimately, we are kids

that are just kind of grown up.

It's true.

We've built these defenses, and we've

built a lot of things

over time around just that

delicate, innocent little kid, right?

We've built careers about it.

We've built education around it.

We beat social norms around it.

So we've built up just all this stuff,

but if you just knock

all that down to get into

the center of it, we're just

still just those little kids.

I wasn't trying to pick on you at all in

there, but you're

wanting to be perfect is

kind of in the middle

of yours to some degree.

Maybe, might be in there.

And I'm not even trying to ... But in the

middle of mine,

there's a lot of things that

I've struggled with too that ultimately

manifest themselves in

our everyday lives, even as

adults.

Yeah.

Right?

Like embarrassment or feeling adequate.

Or feeling ... I don't want to say that.

I want to say love's not the word, but

appreciated, feeling adequate with the

people that ... That's

mine because the second ... It even

happened earlier today at some point.

I just feel like maybe it wasn't today,

but if I don't feel

that sense of like, "Oh my

gosh, I feel right now like I'm not

needed or appreciated

or something like that."

I mean, it's one of those things that

take ... It's like embarrassment.

It takes you straight

back to that little kid.

Oh yeah.

You know what I mean?

And I know a lot of the things, a lot of

my negative qualities

were not coming from that.

That's one of its deepest roots.

So I wasn't trying to pick on you at all.

I'm willing to put

myself out there for that too.

Yeah.

Well, and I think most of our negative

traits or qualities in

general come from that child.

Yeah.

Like whoever we were as a

child, it comes from that.

And it's just everyone

was a little bit different.

Some of it truly is personality, but then

you compound that and your nurture around

you either helps diffuse that or it

augments that bad thing.

It's always a balance

of nature versus nurture.

Nature usually gives it to you and then

depends on how that was nurtured.

To your point, better, for the better,

for the worse, potentially.

Totally true.

Totally true.

And it's so interesting just to see that.

That's why I love that we ... I don't

know if we'll keep it in

or not, but I love that

for the first time in 48 episodes, this

was one of our most real

ones of like, we're little

kids inside.

I know everybody, we all try to peacock.

Oh totally.

You know what I mean?

I love that term by the way.

Yeah, it's the best term.

Everybody peacocks, shows their feathers,

puts their best foot forward.

That's what Facebook's all about.

You know what I mean?

Yeah.

And that's why when you have a best

friend or a best friend

or a great spouse and good

marriage, when you're exposed to those

things and you know that

you can put those feathers

down and put those feathers away and as

ugly as you might be or

as simple as behind those

feathers, maybe that's

where that little kid is.

It's not perfect.

That's a work.

For me at least, it's

always a work in progress.

I'm not a horrible person.

I don't have major blind spots, but I can

definitely still improve on things.

You know what I mean?

It's just interesting when people start

peeling back those layers

and being more real about

what we are.

For me, it's just that next step.

Okay, what are we going

to do to improve that?

You know what I mean?

That's why I was so surprised because

with you it's almost

like, "You know what?

It is what it is.

Why even try to change it?"

Because people are who they are.

Why try?

That's what I heard you say and that's

why innately for me,

that bothers me because it's

like I'm constantly

looking at all that you talk.

Yeah, no.

I was going to say that's actually not

... If that's how it came out, I'm sorry.

That's not actually what I meant.

It was more or less around ... It's like

I have a lot of things to work on myself.

Who am I to tell you

what you need to work on?

Part of that is just like, "Hey, I can't

get frustrated with you

because ..." We'll bring

up a real example today when you were

really busy and you're

moving around the house quickly

to get all your things

done and all your to-do.

Usually that's me doing that

because I'm ... I don't know.

I'm always kind of manic.

I don't know.

It's like I'm not ... I wasn't going to

say anything to you

about it because I was like,

"That's something I need to work on."

It wasn't until you were

like, "What's going on?

Are you okay?

You seem stressed.

What's happening?"

You start asking

questions that I said anything.

I had no intention of doing it because I

was like, "It's

something I struggle with.

How can I tell you to not do it when it's

still something I

struggle with and I need

to get better at?

Who am I to critique you on that?"

That a lot of times

is my thought process.

Yeah.

Well, first of all, how dare you say

something a bit negative about me?

I'm just kidding.

No, totally fair point there.

I would just suggest that there's a

handful of people that you

have the right to say that

to in life.

We're not going to go to the soccer field

and say that to people.

No.

We're not going to stand out in the

street and be like, "Excuse me."

Sense of fashion is way off.

That is not working.

As fun as it would be to go to the mall

and just rip everybody

apart, that's not the

suggestion here.

There's 10 people in a life that your

life touches close

enough that you should be able

to say that to.

I'm one of them.

Our kids are some of them and your direct

family is some of them.

If you can't have a real conversation

with those people, how

real is that relationship?

That's my feel.

I get it.

Now, again, that's deep because you were

raised a certain way that

... What's that one ... They

made a movie about it where everybody's

perfect on the street.

Oh, oh, oh.

Stepford wives or whatever.

Yeah.

It's a little bit like the Stepford

wives, but the Stepford

children, the Stepford child.

This isn't me getting into your

upbringing and pointing any

fingers there, but I'm just

saying the outcome there is you were not

raised in a way that

that was normal to say like,

"This is ... " That you could open up in

that kind of a way

because you don't do it

now and you still won't do it with them.

You didn't do it then, you won't do it

now and you're even applying that to me.

Now, on the other hand, I was so far the

other way that I was

brought up in a different way

where we did voice issues and opinions

and now I've had to

adjust as an adult what the

appropriate manner to do that is because

sometimes I can over share

that or share it in a way

that's not as respectful as it should be

or as not respectful as the wrong word.

It's not as delicate as it should be.

What do you mean?

But that to your point, both of them are

things that we should be

able to do, I think in a

healthy relationship, but because of that

nature versus nurture

thing, both of us have

come to this point in time, able to do

that or unable to do

that in our own ways because

of that life arc that

has got us to this point.

Whether that's right or wrong, that's

where we're at and

that's where I get back to the

resolution thing where it's like if we

understand those things,

well, maybe January 1st is just

an arbitrary day to say, "You know what?

I'm going to be better about just being a

little bit more open

or I'm not going to be

passive aggressive or I'll try not to be

manic and bleed out

everybody else the stress

that I'm feeling."

Maybe January 4th is a good day to do it.

That was an interesting

conversation if nothing else.

I feel like I've offended you.

I can just see it in your face.

You're like, "You look like

a deer in the headlights."

I feel like I've let you down.

I'm surprised that this

is a revelation to you.

We've been together for almost 21 years

and I've done three

resolutions, one of which

was flossing and I've only missed a

handful of days in the

last year since I made the

resolution.

It's not like it's big things, but it's

not the resolution thing.

It's more or less just always on a

constant growth of

becoming a better person.

I'm not suggesting you're not wanting to

become a better person.

I'm not suggesting you think you're

perfect already or whatnot.

The puzzle pieces are falling together a

little bit more for me to

see a clearer picture of

why some of the things that we've

discussed throughout our entire

relationship have been

slow moving.

I'm trying to be delicate on how to say

certain things that I'm

not trying to be offensive

in anything, but I think it just painted

a fuller picture for me

today, which is interesting.

Not that I didn't know those things, but

it painted a ... I think

it was more of an epiphany

to me of like, "Oh, that's interesting."

It's a little bit more

why this or why that.

I think it's what I've come to find in

this conversation is I

think it's a lot deeper

of a conversation that has to be had to

get to those real

moments of self-improvement

discussions with you.

You know what I mean?

That comes from much,

much deeper space in you.

That's way behind the feathers.

That gets close to the little Megan,

whereas self-improvement

for me is not as close to

little Sean as other topics might be.

I think that's where my epiphany was.

Interesting.

That makes sense.

Yeah, I think so.

I don't know.

I am super curious though.

Who was more like you versus

me on the resolution thing?

I am curious to be

like ... Oh, out there?

Out there in general.

I'm going to have to do

some scouting on the ...

Well, just be open on it.

I'm not a huge resolution guy.

I just like the beginning of New Year.

It's always a new fresh start.

It just feels that way.

I just try to be a

better person this year.

It's never like, "Here's my list of New

Year's resolutions and

I'm going to do every one

of them."

I've never liked that.

It's just like, it's a fresh start.

It's a new year.

The opportunities are

endless to some degree.

I'm not trying to be naive about that.

You know what I mean?

It's just like, it's going to be ... Why

can't this be the

best year is how I feel.

Whereas I think you're just steady Eddie.

We just turned another date.

It's no big deal.

It's a new calendar.

Steady Eddie.

Steady Eddie.

No, this could be the

best year of our lives.

That's a different way to look at it.

I'm like, "Let's just hope

it's better than last year."

Well, coming off last

year, it's got to be.

We've had a couple of years in there

where you're like, "Oh,

that was a rough year.

Oh, that one was a great year."

Sometimes you do have those where you

look back and you're

like, "That one, 2015."

I don't know if 2015 was a great year.

It's like, you do have those, some that

are awesome and some that are ...

Yeah, but as you look back at your life,

you're like, "Oh,

those good and bad years."

Absolutely.

It's just a frame of

reference of like, "You know what?

Hopefully this will be a great year."

You know what I mean?

If you want to, we

could go to a calendar year.

Instead of a calendar year, we could do a

fiscal year in for you

if that made you feel

better.

April 1st, April Fool's Day.

That feels very apropos.

Oh my gosh.

In that year for us,

it would be incredible.

It would be amazing.

It's a fiscal year, not a calendar year.

It's a fiscal year. Oh my gosh.

We have people watching this

going, "What is a fiscal year?"

No, they don't.

We have a smart audience.

A lot of finance people out there.

What is a fiscal year?

That's right.

We're a fiscal year.

Doing fiscal New Year's resolutions.

That would be hilarious.

I think mine's more of just that

continuous journey, whether

it's on 1-1 or whether it's

on 8-6.

I picked a random date.

I don't know that it is

even after this discussion.

I think you're just kind of, "You are

what you are," is how

it kind of came to me.

Yeah, no.

That's not how I see it at all.

It really is just getting better every

day, better than I was yesterday.

I think that's more my mentality.

Life hands me things as it does everybody

that naturally helps

me work on things that

I'm not very good at.

You don't believe me at all.

I don't know what to say to it.

Let's stop recording and we

can continue the conversation.

This is interesting.

We're starting to get

long, so let's wrap.

Got it.

Unless you wanted to say something else.

No.

You sure?

Yeah, I think I've dug myself quite the

hole here, so I don't

know that I can say anything

else.

We don't have flashing lights or anything

this time, so we're

going to have to re-record

another one.

We'll put this one on ice.

We'll put the other one out.

We'll put the other one out

when we're sitting in Sadie.

Yeah.

Well, then should we think of a word to

sum up with the last week?

Yeah.

We should.

Pressure.

All right, ready?

Yeah.

One, two, three.

Prepare.

There you go.

Oh, I love yours.

Okay, you have to

explain why we picked Lego.

Well, we did a lot of Legos.

I was going to say I had two, but your

prepare is really where mine was.

This is like we had fun doing Legos.

We had fun over the holidays.

Over New Year's was great relaxation.

It went fast.

Always.

All that was fun, but beneath that

surface, that pressure

that I was talking about, it's

been building.

Mm-hmm.

And come next week, I mean, we're back on

it, you know, because

that's the thing with

vacations, right?

They're fantastic.

I'm back.

Back to reality.

I know.

I know.

We should just retire.

Let's just do that.

We're announcing here.

Yeah.

Got an announcement to make.

Mm.

Yeah.

That goes to the string pillars.

The lines.

Yeah.

Exactly right.

No, because even though we, I mean, we do

fun things, but it's

still a very relaxing

time, right?

We do Legos.

Like, for me, that's super

relaxing to do Legos, puzzles.

It's all that same thing, right?

But I need that time to prepare for just

running at a full-out

sprint for the next, you know,

five, six months.

Yeah.

And so not only is it like the new year

and preparing, it's that,

okay, I need to mentally,

like, recharge my battery so that I'm

ready to go for the next however long.

I don't think you got it this time.

I don't feel like you, I

don't feel like you let it down.

We can't get too into that.

We're so long as it is, but I don't, I

don't feel like you had

that let down this time.

Like that decompression.

Oh, I think I did.

Did you?

Yeah.

Okay.

Yeah.

So I'm pretty sure I did.

I'm pretty sure I did.

You'll check in with yourself later.

I'll ask myself later.

Oh no.

I was sleeping till like

eight, eight 30 in the morning.

Like, no, I think I'm okay.

We're good.

I think I'm nice and chill.

Good, good, good.

So yeah.

Awesome.

Well, wrap it up.

We will wrap it up.

You want to sign off?

You can sign off.

You're a better sign off.

I really, I don't have a sign off.

That's I was going to

wait and see what you did.

Well I have to stick with my chow chow.

I know, but we knew I don't have like a,

we'll see on the flip

side and until then, chow

and I say, see it, right?

We'll see on the flip side.

Yeah.

We don't have a, that's the sign off.

I'm talking about that.

We don't have that.

We don't have.

Yeah.

And have it.

Never.

Yeah.

It's kind of our calling card.

It's just really bad.

There's just like, you should have, you

had just beaters out.

Or we just go to the striped colors.

All right.

I think that's it.

All right.

Let's see.

Yeah.

All right.