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How do we reflect God's heart as we engage in mentoring a kid? Josh Meadows, one of our newer hosts, is joined by Ben Page to discuss how God's heart is reflected through the "Five P's": Pursuit, Presence, Provision, Protection, and Purpose.
Show Notes
How do we reflect God's heart as we engage in mentoring a kid? Josh Meadows, one of our newer hosts, is joined by Ben Page to discuss how God's heart is reflected through the "Five P's": Pursuit, Presence, Provision, Protection, and Purpose.
Find out more about I AM 24/7:
https://www.iam247.org
Find out more about Neighborhood Hope:
https://neighborhoodhope.life
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Find out more about I AM 24/7:
https://www.iam247.org
Find out more about Neighborhood Hope:
https://neighborhoodhope.life
Purchase the You Can Mentor book:
You Can Mentor: How to Impact Your Community, Fulfill the Great Commission, and Break Generational Curses
youcanmentor.com
Creators and Guests
What is You Can Mentor: A Christian Youth Mentoring Podcast?
You Can Mentor is a network that equips and encourages mentors and mentoring leaders through resources and relationships to love God, love others, and make disciples in their own community. We want to see Christian mentors thrive.
We want to hear from you! Send any mentoring questions to hello@youcanmentor.com, and we'll answer them on our podcast. We want to help you become the best possible mentor you can be. Also, if you are a mentoring organization, church, or non-profit, connect with us to join our mentoring network or to be spotlighted on our show.
Please find out more at www.youcanmentor.com or find us on social media. You will find more resources on our website to help equip and encourage mentors. We have downloadable resources, cohort opportunities, and an opportunity to build relationships with other Christian mentoring leaders.
You can mentor is a podcast about the power of building relationships with kids from hard places in the name of Jesus. Every episode will help you overcome common mentoring obstacles and give you the confidence you need to invest in the lives of others. You can mentor.
Speaker 2:So, guys, my name is Josh Meadows. I am a new host on the You Can Mentor podcast. I'm the executive director of an organization called Neighborhood Hope, and what we do is that we create the best support system possible, for communities in East Charlotte. And that's all fueled through the love of Jesus. And so so excited to be here today with you.
Speaker 2:You can find out more about Neighborhood Hope at neighborhood hope dot life. Guys, I'm so excited today to have Ben Page on the podcast with us. I, love this guy. He's super special to me. Ben, welcome, man.
Speaker 3:Yeah. Thanks for having me, Josh.
Speaker 2:Yeah. Good to have you. Ben, man, before we jump into kinda what you do and talk about your your ministry, which which is called I'm 247, yeah, tell me tell me about you. Tell me about your family. Just give the give the listeners a little intro, man, into into who Ben is.
Speaker 3:Yeah, man. Born and raised in the south from Atlanta, Georgia. I live currently probably about 2 miles down the road from Josh, and I got a family here. 17 year old boy, 3 year old little girl. She's a a joy of my life and and an awesome wife named Nikki.
Speaker 3:So we're just trying to do life and serve the Lord here in Charlotte.
Speaker 2:I love that, man. That's super cool. Ben, I've known you for I think we were talking the other day, probably going on 9 9 years, 8 years.
Speaker 3:Yep.
Speaker 2:And I've been able to, you know, witness your journey, your calling. It's been super amazing to to see you've been such an encouragement to me. You know, what what we do, Ben, as far as working in, you know, the trenches and underserved communities, it is not for the faint of heart, so to say. I tell people oftentimes that it is the hardest thing I've ever done and also the most beautiful thing by far, I've ever done. So, obviously, it's a calling.
Speaker 2:Tell us a little bit about your journey, man, just to being called to what you do. Yeah.
Speaker 3:So I think I so I grew up in the church. I grew up, what I would say, kind of a nominal believer. My real passion was playing sports. So I was a soccer player growing up, but my my family, when I would didn't have tournaments and stuff on the weekend, we were always in church. When I look back on it, I had a great great 2 great examples of my my parents of of people that follow Christ.
Speaker 3:I just personally I don't think my heart was fully in it. Right? You know, it being from the bible belt, you know, you kinda have lord and savior, you know, and and I think I accepted Jesus into my life at a young age because I didn't wanna go to hell. But Jesus, in no way, was Lord of my life, if that makes sense, you know. When Paul talks about being in Christ, you know, what it truly means to be a Christian, he very rarely, if ever, talks about accepting Jesus into my heart.
Speaker 3:He talks about coming into Christ, you know, us dying to ourselves and living onto him. And so I had a transition in my life when I moved to Charlotte. I moved to Charlotte when I was 22. I was playing on a semi I was, like, a second division pro team, called the Charlotte Eagles after college. So came here to play soccer, and that team had a number of believers on it.
Speaker 3:And those guys started to take interest in my life and and really love and care for me, and I started to look, kinda judge a tree by its fruit. Right? And I'm looking at the guys that I looked up to in college, you know, the direction or the trajectory of my life that I wanted to have, like going to play in the MLS or play overseas, soccer at a higher level, and and make, like, real real money playing soccer. That was my dream, my dream, my goal. There were some guys on the team that had done that, and the way they lived their life spoke volumes to me and that how they loved their wife, how they loved their kids, how they served their community, and how they lived for Jesus and reflected them in their everyday life.
Speaker 3:And they had had taste. They had seen all the things in this world that I was chasing. Right? So they had had the success in the in the realm that I was chasing after. And so long story short, there's nothing wrong if I would've ended up down that path.
Speaker 3:But I think if I would've down that path, that path would've been a path of destruction for me because it would've been all about me. So what happened was is this one particular guy took interest in me and invited me to a prayer group. And it was just a bunch of guys that would sing and and worship the Lord together. And I thought first couple of times I went, it was just kinda weird. There was no agenda.
Speaker 3:There's just guys that, like, truly love Jesus. And for whatever reason, I think there was, like, a hunger in my heart for more. Right? So I had experienced the church growing up. I had been around people of faith, but I'd never seen, like, this this this passion to know and love God like these people.
Speaker 3:And I I kinda introduced this phrase, but to know the more of the Lord. Right? To to know God in deeper ways. Another story kinda I don't wanna talk too much, but going back on my childhood is I can remember being in church and telling my parents in, like, 5th or 6th grade, I don't really wanna go to Sunday school anymore because I already know everything there is to know about God. You know?
Speaker 3:But what was I saying? I was saying, like, I I already know about Moses, and I know about Samson, and I I I know about Daniel, and I know what Jesus did on the cross. I'm like, I and I know these things, but I didn't know Jesus. I didn't I didn't have a intimate relationship with him that would lead, guide, and direct, and create a deep passion in me for living that happened when I was about 22. Met these guys, started being in this environment.
Speaker 3:There were people chasing after Jesus, and they were seeing miracle signs and wonders in in really practical ways. Right? So part of this prayer group kinda bring this full circle. One of the guys had a vision to use the gifts that we had to serve our city. And most of us in this room of guys were were soccer players.
Speaker 3:And so we started going to a couple of different communities around Charlotte. Like, literally, this is how our organization started with, a bag of candy and a soccer ball. And we'd literally go out, put a ball on the ground, and see what kids showed up. And we kick a ball around, have a little practice. And then at the very end, we'd sit down, pass out some candy, get to know their names a little bit more, and just say, hey.
Speaker 3:You know, Jesus loves you, and we love you. And we really enjoyed the day. We'll be back next week. And so I really just started to, like those relationships we started building through soccer and these kind of communities that you and I are talking about started to impact me. Right?
Speaker 3:And I saw in their weakness, in their neediness, my weakness, and my neediness for God. And so it created this season of my life where the more and more I I dove into the Lord, the more and more I had to pour out. But at the same time, the more and more I I realized my need for him. And so long story short, it was around that time, I was 22, 23, that this ministry kinda started just through some relationships with some kids in the city of Charlotte that, like, I came to a deeper faith myself. And thus, you know, that deep passion to to see Christ change lives was there mainly because he was changing my life.
Speaker 2:There's so many things that that you said that I can really relate to, but I I wanna point out, man, you said something. You said, the more I begin to spend time with them, the more I begin to see my own, you know, neediness. And I I love that being because, you know, so often it's so easy to show up and be like, man, I'm gonna change these kids. You know? I'm gonna do this this great thing.
Speaker 2:And what ends up happening if you really stick with it and if you really lean in, you realize that they change you probably more than than you, you know, than you change them. And so it's the Lord doing a work in your heart as you go out and and you serve. And my favorite chapter in the bible, hands down, is Isaiah 58, and it talks about, you know, the people of Israel are trying to do this fast. And in doing so, they're being wicked toward each other and and, you know, Isaiah goes, this isn't how your voice is gonna get hurt on high. And he goes, but this is the fast God's chosen.
Speaker 2:You know, go to those who don't have a voice. Loose the chains of injustice. Go fight for those who don't have a voice. And all these promises come to those who go. And so in this case, let's say it's to the mentors.
Speaker 2:It's to the people going into these neighborhoods. And literally, man, it's like healing will come. You know, your prayers will be answered quicker. You know, it talks about the protection of the Lord being behind you and in front of you. His his noonday light will burst forth out of you.
Speaker 3:It's like
Speaker 2:all these promises that that come. And so, that's amazing. And then the other thing, you know, just there might be somebody out there who who has this passion to to do something. And, you know, what you and I have experienced, you know, you showed up with a soccer ball and some candy. I showed up with a basketball and some pizza.
Speaker 2:You know, our neighborhoods were more conducive to basketball. We didn't really have fields, and you showed up with a soccer ball and some candy. And, you know, just going with no real agenda other than, you know, I think we can speak to the power of showing up. You know? And if if you're you're hearing this and there's something that, you know, you wanna do, just just go.
Speaker 2:You know, just go. Just show up. It's crazy. I mean, we're we're 10 years later. You're what?
Speaker 2:12, 13 years later? Yep. And it's it's cool to see what the lord has done, man. That's that's amazing. Ben, tell us, you know, now that you've been in the neighborhood 13 years, man, tell us about, you know, what what started off as, you know, kind of partnering with Urban Eagles, and now you started your own organization, I'm 247.
Speaker 2:So tell us a little bit about I'm 247, you know, what you do, who you guys are.
Speaker 3:Yeah. So, like, our our mission is pretty simple. You know, take the nonprofit lingo out of it. It would just be we wanna see disciples that make disciples, but we wanna empower youth through faith in Jesus to become leaders and give back to their communities. And so what we've done is all of our staff live here in the community that we're in, and so we have there's so much power in proximity, and that relationship is most genuine when, you know, when Jesus goes out and says love your neighbor, like, there's something powerful about actually being a neighbor.
Speaker 3:And it kinda take takes people's guard down when you're when you're talking about serving the the underserved, build a trust that nothing else could build is is something that we found through through living approximate to the people. But we have a huge heart to see the leaders from our community or the the the youth from our community be the leaders of their own community. So often in communities like ours, all the leadership is constantly coming in from the outside, and then it's replaced by more leadership from the outside. And so it creates the ceiling over the community itself. And so something we're really intentional about is seeing the life of Christ come alive in a kid and really, you know, promoting them as leaders within their community so that they're the ones that's leading.
Speaker 3:And so in our context, it's, you know, as a kid's growing up playing on our teams, he gets to age 14, 15, 16. He's a part of a leadership development program. And then once he's 16, he's actually starting to coach. And so now he's a coach for the 6, 7, 8 year olds. And so I personally have this belief that for kids with programs like ours, once a kid's 16, he doesn't need to be just part of the program anymore.
Speaker 3:He needs to be helping lead it. And so we're super big on trying to empower our kids. So currently, what our structure looks like is it's myself, and my wife, and we have another family that's alongside of us that provide kind of the senior leadership, pastoral leadership for the for the organization. And then we have 5 different coaches from our community that have grown up within the ministry that are given back as either head coaches or assistant coaches. And then we have an army of about 30 volunteers that are involved in a week weekly basis.
Speaker 3:So we work with 60 young men that are part of different teams. And so we have currently, we have 4 basketball teams and 2 soccer teams, and those kids are involved in sports. Year round. And through those sports, they're involved with the weekly bible studies and tutoring and all the different support structures that we try to provide, the kids. So that's kinda what we we currently are doing.
Speaker 2:I love that, man. You know, one of the things that that I've witnessed just by watching your your ministry and talking to you and having conversations and having coffee, you know, it's really special to see you raising up young people from within. I think that many of us have a desire to do that. I think many of us see the the need in not creating a ceiling, but to actually to actually do it requires some risk and vulnerability. Right?
Speaker 2:Because you're taking 16 year old kids and
Speaker 3:Dude, it's the messiest thing on the planet. Yeah. You wanna know what keeps me up all night? It's the risk that we're taking when we're we're asking these guys to lead. And more often than not, like, they they usually knock it out of the park, but the the issues that come up are no joke.
Speaker 3:Yeah. I
Speaker 2:love it. Well, I mean, you think about it, man. Oftentimes, in leadership, right, we're we're so busy trying to find the qualified that we miss the available. There you go.
Speaker 3:Think if
Speaker 2:there's anything that Jesus did that I mean, there's a lot that Jesus did that was crazy. Right? But one of the things he did was crazy, was picked, like, young teenage boys to be his disciples. You know? I was like, what are you thinking?
Speaker 2:You know, and and you just you just look even in scripture, like, they were messy people and Jesus chose them and poured into them and modeled, you know, for them a life, you know, of of of modeling himself to to them, get everything he was into them. And so, man, you're essentially doing, you know, what what Jesus did. You know, you're you're taking these young guys and you're you're pointing to them, and, yes, it's messy. And I'm Ben, you could, in a heartbeat, go find more qualified leaders. You know?
Speaker 2:But we know Jesus doesn't call it qualified, you know? And I love that, man. That's super cool. It's it's something that I learned from you. It's something that even within Neighborhood Hope that we wanna continue to do a better job of, you know?
Speaker 2:And so I I love that, man. That's super cool. Man, so as what I was thinking about today and and kind of how we can encourage, you know, mentors and people listening, I remember the first time I I sat down with you. You were living in a little tiny house in Girl Heights, pre married days back before we were were both married, man, and just sat at a table with you and had a conversation. And, you know, I wanted to get into, you know, working in these communities.
Speaker 2:And so I'd heard about you and, you know, graciously, you made time for me. And I remember one of the things that was so powerful is that we're 2 believers sitting here having a conversation at the table and even with me, you took the opportunity to look me in the eyes so passionately and say, Josh, Jesus loves you so much. Like, you know, he he loves you. He's passionate about you. He's your father.
Speaker 2:And I just remember walking away going, like, wow. Like, I needed that. And I still need it today. Right? It's it's that, you know, I can hear it yesterday.
Speaker 2:I need it again today, but it shaped something in me. And, you know, when I think about Ben, I think about your ability in in this gift that you have that you don't take you don't pass up opportunities to speak identity into people, man, and I I value that. So, man, from from your experience, you know, especially people working in, you know, underserved, under resourced, forgotten neighborhoods is hard. Right? So hard.
Speaker 2:And if we're always looking at the situation, I think burnout, discouragement, am I making a difference, will always be there in our ear. But but, yeah, man, speak to me for a minute about the power of speaking hope into hopelessness, man, and how I mean, maybe some stories. Yeah, man. Let me I'm just gonna let you talk.
Speaker 3:Just so you know, you're one of the heroes too, bro. Like, wise man once told me, always trust a man that walks with a limp. Mhmm. And sometimes you do the things that you're called to do, choosing to go up and get beat up every day. And and I really respect men that are willing to bleed for others.
Speaker 3:I think that there's no other way that you can reflect Jesus more than the willingness to bleed for somebody else. Amen. So the fact that you wake up every day choosing you know, I mean, you had a career doing the things you were doing, and you could've kept doing that easily. The the the fact that you wake up every morning right now and you're and you're choosing to give your life in service of others for the glory of the King. You're one of the hearers as well.
Speaker 3:I would say I'll kinda back into that question a little bit. Literally, yesterday, I just sent out an email to a group of volunteers that we had we had last week, you know, we're 12 years in the ministry. And so there's there's days when, you know, we've been working with some of these kids since they were, in diapers, you know, that that I have now that are, like, in in late middle school, early high school. And we had a nightmare of a tutoring program the other night, right before our our basketball. Kids are being disrespectful to our tutors, just off the wall.
Speaker 3:Right? And and so it was one of those nights where I walked away, and I was like, I don't have the energy to deal with all the issues that are here. I was feeling personally a little bit embarrassed because, like, you at some level, when you mentor and work with youth, you take pride in the fact that just like your own kids, like, when they're doing well or they act right or whatever. And and so the Lord constantly, has to remind me, because the weakness of my flesh, I wanna take credit for some of these things, that this is about him. And then my first ministry is unto him.
Speaker 3:And and so I'd say for anybody that is mentoring, when you step into things, the only way you won't live with disappointment or to avoid disappointment and all the different things that come with setbacks that a kid that you might be mentoring kinda has, or when a kid disrespects you, or you feel like, you know, you're pouring all this out and this kid's not responding. You're serving the Lord. You know? All throughout, history, God's people God called the people to serve him and sit before him, and they served him. They served God by serving people.
Speaker 3:And so you can go to bed every night, knowing that you're serving the one true God, you're serving the king when you go out in the name of Jesus and and do his work, and you just gotta leave the results to him. And so one one way that I've tried to remind myself that daily or or or I do try to remind myself that daily. And the reason is because if I don't if I just try to look at our results, our results are pretty terrible. Right. You know?
Speaker 3:I still got kids that are in jail. I still got kids that are are young parents because they they wouldn't listen in this way or the other. You know? All the different things that we see on a daily basis. Like, every story doesn't end with, like, I met this kid, and I started mentoring him.
Speaker 3:And then 5 years later, you know, he was, like, you know, going to college. You know? Like, no. Right? Yeah.
Speaker 3:That is a rare occurrence still within our ministry. Right. But the, you know, the word of God never returns void, and we believe for the fruit of generations to come, but that may not happen in our time.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:So I'll lay I'll I'll kinda plant that seed for all the mentors that may be listening right now. If you're having that experience with a kid right now or you if you're not mentoring right now, but plan on, it's gonna come. Go out every day when you when you go out and love and love in the name of Jesus for him, and you can go to sleep at night with joy, with peace because you're laying it in his hands.
Speaker 2:Amen.
Speaker 3:So that said, I think that when kinda to your original question, just about mentoring in general, I think that I I really try to focus on the heart of the father. You know? So, like, whether, like, you're mentoring in an area or a place where kids have present fathers or not, we all need more and more father figures in our life and people that go out and reflect God's heart. And at the end of the day, god's heart is the heart of a father. And so how I break this down to people is I would say that god's heart is reflected with 5 p's.
Speaker 3:The first one is god pursues us. And so as a mentor, are we pursuing those kids even in moments where they're pushing back? Because most kids, they don't know how to respond to someone saying, hey, man. I value you. Right.
Speaker 3:I don't wanna spend time with you. The second is presence. So God is present with us, and so focusing literally time and being consistent. And so we call those touch points. And so how can I create a touch point depending on what the organization you work with, what church you're working with, or just the kid that you're working with, whatever is appropriate, how do I create as many touch points as I can per week with this kid that you may be mentoring?
Speaker 3:In today's world, you know, obviously, you'd be careful with all the things you need to be careful with, with social media and stuff like that. So everyone has their own boundaries, but does that look like a call to mom so you can talk to the kid? If the kid is older and has a phone, can you just text the kid, hey. I'm thinking about that that math test that you you said you had, and how'd it go? You know?
Speaker 3:Just checking in, and then trying to be face to face as much as you can. You're reflecting the heart of God by being present. God provides. So it's so easy to write a check and give to an organization. So the things that I think guys like ourselves, you know, word provision means something a little bit deeper to us, But are you are you in a in a position where you can provide knowledge, provide wisdom, you know, provide material needs, provide in times of crisis, for sure, but God provides.
Speaker 3:Mentors should be providing protection. And I can if we have time, I'll share a story a little bit later. You know, the the covering that just having a a positive figure, older figure for the the males in the in that are on the audience, you know, a positive male figure for the female is a positive female figure, but that adult provides the sense of protection just by the relationship that you have. And so when a kid knows that they have somebody to call when there's a thing of when times of crisis, like, that provides a security that reflects the heart of the father because that's the protection that God wants to give that kid through. And the last thing, and kinda what you originally asked, is these words of identity.
Speaker 3:Right? Is purpose. The last p that I would say is purpose. And I think God speaks purpose into us. And you can't give away what you don't have.
Speaker 3:And so I need to be as a mentor sitting every day, reflecting on the fact that I have a God that pursues me. He's present with me. He provides for me. He protects me, and he's speaking purpose into my life.
Speaker 2:Mhmm.
Speaker 3:And as I'm listening to that for myself, I can start to see and discern how to speak that into others. Because I think the human heart got like, you know, you hear it in all these cliche ways, but the kind of the the best way you know how to say is, like, every person's born with this God sized hole in your heart.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:Right? And if if I had to break down the things that are in your heart, our our hearts are longing to be pursued, to be provided for, to be protected. You know? And ultimately, we just wanna know who we
Speaker 2:are. Exactly.
Speaker 3:We wanna know who we are. And so, you know, when we talked leading up to this this time, you know, you brought up, you know, how Peter spoke to Jesus after he had just totally effed up.
Speaker 2:Yeah.
Speaker 3:Right? And he's like, hey. You know, feed my sheep. Be the rock that you are. You know, he's it wasn't just like, dude, you're the worst.
Speaker 3:Da da da da da. Yeah. So so often, like, we as as people, you think about yourself, what do you need to hear? As you're mentoring, that's what kids need to hear. They need to hear who they were created to be.
Speaker 3:So even if they aren't being that now, you need to speak the words of God over that kid, so they have something to live into, right? You know, the word says that life and death are in the power of the tongue. And so often in today's world, either kids hear are hearing words of death directly, like you suck, you're trash, whatever, or an adult silence in their life doesn't allow for anything of god to be created in them through words. Because your words literally can become something. Like when God spoke, things were created.
Speaker 3:You as a man of God, when you speak into a kid, it can literally create things within someone. So like the word encourage, like think about this. So like to encourage someone is probably the most powerful thing you could do.
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:To discourage somebody, so like break that word down. Discourage. Dis to take. Like you are taking courage from someone. Mhmm.
Speaker 3:Flip that out on its head. When you are encouraging, you are like, this word picture is powerful, but you're taking courage, and you're placing it into somebody. So when you speak words of encouragement, you're literally telling that young man, that young lady, like, no. You have like, god is wants to place this inside of you. And through your words, god can allow through his spirit that seed to produce much fruit within them.
Speaker 3:So I I would say that, you know, all those piece, those are the things that would mean to be a good mentor, but most importantly, you speaking words of purpose or words of identity is probably the most important thing that you do in your mentorship relationships.
Speaker 2:So good, man. Just so so much I I'm thinking about right now. And one of the things that that I have this picture of is that the areas that we that we work in are messy and desolate. Right? That there's almost like we're walking into deserts.
Speaker 2:And as I as you were talking about encouragement and and planting these words, you know, it's almost like this picture of beauty coming up out of desert places. And so if you think about if you think about that that picture, you know, us going into the mess, which I tell people, if God, through Jesus Christ, came into my mess, in that the gospel, he comes into my mess, and he loves me where I am. He loves me back to life, and and he I'm worthy for him to come into my mess, then it should be an honor for us, you know, to go into the mess of other people and and speak encouragement and plant seeds of of the lord in their life and, you know, be able to watch it grow. That's super powerful. And, you know, I had chills on my arms, man, as you were talking about just not falling into the pitfall of of results.
Speaker 3:Mm-mm.
Speaker 2:Then I have 2 kids right now who I invested my life into, who are selling drugs in your community right now, you know?
Speaker 3:Yeah, I see.
Speaker 2:I think about them. I think about them all the time. I think about, you know, and and, you know, one of them particularly accepted Jesus in his life at at a camp. And so, man, I'm just believing that that that word, will not return or turn void. And, you know, am I am I to look at that as a as a failure?
Speaker 2:Did I not do enough? And there there are days where those thoughts come. Right? Man, maybe I didn't do enough, you know, maybe they feel like I gave up on them, you know, but then it's like, no. I had the the beauty of loving them.
Speaker 2:I had the beauty of pointing to them. I had the beauty of spending time with them. I had the beauty of pursuing them, giving them my presence, providing for them, and protecting them, and speaking purpose into them. You know? And so I think what you said was was key, man, so much here.
Speaker 3:I think about ourselves too. Like, how often like, Jesus provides these things for me every day?
Speaker 2:Right.
Speaker 3:From the day I was born, and, like, I'm 36 years old. And I'm how, how many days still does it seem like with my attitudes or my actions, I'm like spitting in Jesus' face? So how am I ever gonna get upset with a kid for feeling disrespected? Like, no, like the King of the universe, like has poured everything he has into me and there's days that I don't even give him the time of day. So it helps me understand my own brokenness when I see him responding in this way or that way.
Speaker 3:And then ultimately, it's not about me, you know, like I think and this is one of the biggest things we train our our mentors in that that come alongside us and and I am 247, is it's not about you. You know? Ultimately, you're trying to see the life of God come come out of this kid. And and if they never say thank you, it is what it is. Right.
Speaker 3:Because it's about that kid growing up to being becoming who they're gonna become, and let God be the glory. And so it frees us when we really can can take hold of that truth. It kinda is backwards to what sometimes we even hear in church. It's like, hey. You're doing you're not doing so well, so go do go do a service day.
Speaker 3:You'll feel better. Well, yes. But that shouldn't be the point. Right? And so we need to check our motivations that are stepping into these relationships, because, ultimately, you'll be a better mentor when you can look and say everything you're doing is to empower that kid.
Speaker 3:It's not to bring yourself glory for duty.
Speaker 2:Yeah. That's so good. Man, I I remember driving, you know, you you've done this as well, man. Wonder how many van rides we've driven. You know, 15 passenger vans we've filled up with kids as executive directors driving down the road.
Speaker 2:And I had this moment where when the time changed, we had our program. Instead of having it in the neighborhood, we drove down the road to a church. And so we're on highway 74, which those don't know, it's just a busy little highway that goes through Charlotte, driving a van, 15 kids in the car. And this guy punches me in the nuts while I'm driving the van, Ben, going down 74. His brothers and sisters are in the car, you know, with us.
Speaker 2:And I was so upset. I'm thinking why like, why would you do this? Like, I do so much for you. Like, why would you think it's okay to do this? And then I I see a counselor.
Speaker 2:I I would advise anybody who's mentoring or married. See a counselor. Right? Take care of your soul. And I'm telling my counselor about this.
Speaker 2:And he looks at me and he goes he he says exactly what you did because it's not about you. He's like, do you think this kid woke up today going, I'm gonna punch Josh in the nuts while he's driving down the road? It's like it's like, he doesn't he's not thinking about that, man. But, you know, he's he's he he done up his dad in his life, and he's got these hormones flowing through his body. Probably some kid dared him to do it.
Speaker 2:You know? And he's like, Josh, as much as you were the the recipient of the prank, like, it wasn't it wasn't about you. You know? And and it was just really, really powerful for me to be like, you're right, man. Like, he's like, do you think these kids love you?
Speaker 2:I'm like, yeah. He's like, of course they love you. He said, bro, they're bringing their brokenness, their unworthiness. Like, all these things that have come into their life, they're they're bringing all that to you. And it's an honor for you to be, you know, in the midst of it.
Speaker 2:And so it's it's it's so good to, you know, keep that mindset. Very, very powerful, man. Very powerful. Yeah. Ben, this has been this has been amazing.
Speaker 2:You know, I think I think, you know, you you you mentioned earlier that you had maybe, like, one story of of protection. Do you you wanna hit us with a story real quick before we close-up?
Speaker 3:Yeah. I'm trying to think which one I was thinking about. Yeah, man. The when you you enter into relationships regardless, again, like, there's probably people listening to this from all sorts of different contexts. And so every context is gonna have its different typical situations.
Speaker 3:But, you know, there there was a young man, this was probably 8 or 9 years ago, and he was, like, 12 years old. And his mom is alcoholic, and and so I remember at the end of practice, he comes up to me, and he's like, coach, like, with tears in his eyes, like, mom is drinking again. And she would just kinda go he's, like, 12 years old. He's the oldest brother in the house. And she would kinda go on these, like, 3 day binges and kinda disappear.
Speaker 3:Right? And so he's left, and and he's 1, he's hurting for his mom, and 2, he he knows what the next few days of his life are gonna look like as he has to play man at the house at age 12. And I remember I don't know what to do. You know? And I remember dropping all the other kids off and sitting in my car with him and just said, you know, I know that that God loves you.
Speaker 3:Yes. I know God loves your mom, and I don't know what to do right now. So let's pray. So sat there and and we prayed. And and again, the the the fun thing about following Jesus is there's there's no, like, hey.
Speaker 3:What I'm about to share what we did in this situation. It may not be the right thing to do in another situation. Like, this is what the spirit said to go do. So as we're sitting there, I was like, alright. We're supposed to go to the house.
Speaker 3:So I just went up in the house with this kid. I barely knew this mom at this point. I had enough relationship with her to know that, like, you know, she respected me. And she she she was blessed that I was working with her son, but, you know, I didn't know if the rest of her family like I do today. So we walked up into the house that that day, and she was upstairs when I got in the house.
Speaker 3:And he calls upstairs, and she's like, just send him up. So she calls me upstairs. So she's sitting on her bed and she had 15 forties lined up right next to her bed. And and I remember that night, you know, this kind of passion, you know, and deep love that Jesus had for her as I was looking for her. You know, I had this hurt that I know that she was causing her kids when the whole situation was just broken.
Speaker 3:And so I just looked her in the eye and said like, you can do this, but just know that your kids are coming with me tonight if you start doing this. And she just broke. And I remember we prayed, like, she sat with me and she prayed with me that night. She we literally, me and her son, took all 15 of those forties and smashed them in the dumpster.
Speaker 2:Oh, man.
Speaker 3:You know? And and, you know, I mean, actually, she she literally recently passed, but that was 8 years ago. And she still struggled with alcoholism till the day she she she passed. But we gotta see the power of God that night in a profound way, and that kid felt God's protection over him through a mentor, a willingness to step in and say, like, no. Like, this isn't the way it's supposed to be.
Speaker 3:And so regardless of the outcome, I think when you step in and just get involved in relationships, they may get messy, but the character of God is gonna come out of you and present one of these piece exactly the the thing that that kid needs. So showing up is big. Amen. Being present is big. Through being present, all these other things can come out.
Speaker 3:But that that's one powerful story for me of, like, God's protection for this kid and his brothers and sisters coming out, you know, through this, like, weak vessel of a man. You know? At the time, I was, like, 20 5 years old. Yeah. You know, white boy in the hood.
Speaker 3:Like, what was I thinking going in and saying that? Right? And I and I have countless other stories of just, like, God moving, and it just and it comes from standing on his word, his truth, his strength, not making it about yourself for his glory and the benefit of the kids that you're working with. You know, keeping those things in the forefront of your mind and let God do the work.
Speaker 2:That's right. And I think before we close-up, let's not overestimate the fact that God's presence was on you and has been on you Amen. And has been and will be on these mentors as they go. Because, like like, you have been in some situations, man, where, you know, for all intents and purposes, I should be scared. You know?
Speaker 2:I'm around dudes with guns on their hips. I'm around people who are intoxicated, who have guns. There's all these things that could have gone wrong. And people say all the time, like, are you scared? Are you not afraid?
Speaker 2:And I always say, God's protection always goes where he calls. Right? And so I feel more protected in the middle of the hood than I do walking in the South Park Mall, you know, because his True. His presence. Right?
Speaker 2:And so as you as you're sitting here talking about the peas, I'm thinking about God's presence on you, man, you know, and and how that is what was the the, you know, the the defining moment when you walked upstairs was it was his presence, man. So I think that there's there's power in that. Well, Ben, bro, how about how about sending a soft man and just and just speaking a blessing over all the all the people who are gonna hear this? This, are you cool with that?
Speaker 3:Yeah man I'd love to. Yeah, in Jesus name I just bless any listener, whatever you're coming here today with that's on your heart, whatever you're personally going through and then whatever's in your heart for other people. I pray that God would renew your passion to see hope arise all around you. I just make a declaration today over God's people, that hope would arise through them, that there would become light and darkness all around every city represented here. For your glory for your glory, Jesus, and benefit of your people.
Speaker 3:In Jesus name, amen.
Speaker 2:Amen. Ben, thank you so much, brother. I love you. I'm grateful for you. And, thank you for everybody You're welcome.
Speaker 2:Listening today. If you got anything from this, just realize that you can mentor, go forth in the in the power and the presence of Jesus.