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Remember - EVERYONE sabotages themselves in some way. The key is self awareness and compassion.
WHEN YOU KNOW HOW TO IDENTIFY YOUR SABOTAGING BEHAVIOR, IT WILL NO LONGER HAVE POWER OVER YOU.
It’s your time and you’re ready for the next step!
Money & Me: Get anything you desire this year 5 Day Audio Program: https://www.soulrichwoman.com/money
I believe we can change the world. But first, we’ve got to stop living in fear of being judged for who we are.
Hi I'm Genecia Alluora, Founder of the #1 Leading Female Entrepreneur Network in South East Asia supporting 1 Million women to Own & LOve The F-Word. Being fabulous, having freedom, financial independence and Family.
With a challenge to women everywhere to stop TALKING themselves out of their dreams, Soul Why? Secrets of The Soul Rich Woman Blueprint identifies the excuses to let go of, the behaviours to adopt, and the skills to acquire on the path to growth, confidence, and believing in yourself to be recognised as a leader online. Get clients online and to have more impact on the world!
Stop Believing THE Lies ABOUT Who You Are so You Can Become Who You Were Meant to Be. You're Just an "F-Word" Away from The Life You Want, The Marriage You Want... The Family That You Want, Is Going To Be Fueled By The Business & Life You Build ... Join me, become a Soul Rich Woman. Alone we are strong, Together we are unstoppable!
Ask Me Anything & get featured on the podcast: https://podinbox.com/genecia
[00:00:00]
Genecia Alluora: Hey, gorgeous. Welcome back to this episode. Today we are going to talk about selfsabotage, the biggest thing that's going to derail your money story and derail your money journey. And today, I'm going to help you find yours. It doesn't matter how much money you make.
[00:00:20]
Genecia Alluora: You just have to watch out. It follows you like a shadow or a limitless tissue box, a box of tissue paper. And it follows you around pretty much forever. However, it won't stop you from creating the F-word that you want, fabulous freedom, financial independence, or happy family. Now, your sabotage might be a recurring habit, a default behavior, or even an unconscious way. You are keeping yourself safe when you are outside of your comfort zone.
[00:00:54]
Genecia Alluora: The question will be, why do we do this? Why would we want to sabotage the very thing that we want? At our innermost self or at our inner core? We often have unacknowledged fears about what more money would mean for us. For example, more responsibility, more tax or potentially upsetting people, their surroundings or family members, or even unlocking skeletons that were hidden in our closets. And all these unacknowledged fears are true and very real. Today we're going to talk about uncovering some of the specific subtle touch patterns so that you can recognize recognize them and in most cases stop them from creating the drama in your life.
[00:01:45]
Genecia Alluora: Yes, especially the money drama. When you complete the sabotage quiz that I've prepared for you, you'll get some valuable AHA moments about how you regularly stop yourself from receiving more abundance, more fabulous, more freedom, more financial independence and pleasure in your life.
[00:02:10]
Genecia Alluora: And even how you're showing up in this audio right now, in this program, right now might be a clue to how you sabotage yourself. Most people's sabotages come up from day one. However, without the awareness, you might think that the universe doesn't love you, the universe doesn't care about you, the universe don't remember you, the universe forgot about you. Or maybe you will think without the awareness, you will think that this program, this audio isn't working for you. Or even the problem is somewhere out there, over the rainbow, out of the door, just not within yourself.
[00:02:59]
Genecia Alluora: Sounds familiar. You are here in this audio listening to this for a reason. You are here in the program for a reason and you are totally in the right place to uncover these things that are holding you back. Your sabotage is absolutely related to your stories and beliefs around money. So today we are building on the foundations to see how some of those situations might have just created those negative behavioral patterns.
[00:03:29]
Genecia Alluora: For example, I work and support myself through school since I was 14 years old and I've been working more than 20 years of my life. Even though I'm not that old yet, I have a very strong belief and story. I have to work super duper really hard to make money. Not kidding. So every time when I go to the next level of business, I have to watch out that I'm not subotaging my success to prove that it has to be really hard.
[00:04:01]
Genecia Alluora: And this happened to me when I cross over from offline to online. Moving from image consultant, running my own image and personal branding consulting service to moving online teaching people how to do their business online when it felt too easy to make money even from selling one ebook and one online course, suddenly I get triggered, right? That, oh my God, I got to work really hard to do it because it felt so easy to sell and make money online even from just selling one ebook.
[00:04:42]
Genecia Alluora: Okay. It's still something that I need to work through it. Even though I made $100,000 in three months and a million dollars in that year. It was crazy. Okay. So this is why discovering your subotage patterns is so powerful. You'll be able to move through them and make money anyway. By the way, making a particular income level or at the status you're at right now doesn't mean that you are immune, does not make you immune to sabotages.
[00:05:20]
Genecia Alluora: I've said this a million times. Money itself isn't a cure for money blocks. Therefore, awareness, I repeat, listen carefully. Awareness is your most valuable friend. Most valuable tool. And of course, the strategies you learn from me. So, even though my numbers are different now, I still have to watch out where I'm subconsciously making things hard for myself to recreate the story that I have to work really super duper hard.
[00:05:56]
Genecia Alluora: We all do things that run to our highest good to almost regulate ourselves back to a more comfortable space. And it's very normal for that to happen. You might have heard me talking about the ceiling or the upper limits. Now, the concept of the upper limits is related to our energy, okay? And you always also hear me talk about energy, right? And this is the energetic income level. This energetic income level can come from the people that surround us. The books we read, the movies we watch, the people we hang out with, our experiences, the songs we listen to. It comes from that and it influences us.
[00:06:39]
Genecia Alluora: However, we do all have an internal comfort zone about the amount of money, happiness, love, fabulous, freedom, or any good thing that we are allowed to receive. When we get too close to that, we can start to sabotage ourselves. For example, when your business income starts to match or exceed your old job income, you might start to pull back on marketing or somehow sabotage your business. Maybe you're starting to earn more money than someone important to you and you find that you are engaging in some really unhealthy behaviors even though you know it's not in your best interest.
[00:07:26]
Genecia Alluora: And this is really normal, by the way. And it's not a sign that you are not meant for. You are not meant for, or you're not destined. You are not supposed to. It's not okay? So I just want to say this. This is really normal and it's not a sign that you are not destined to earn more. At an energetic level, it can be tough to make a huge income jump without your favorite supple charges coming into play with your income potential and without knowing what they are.
[00:08:04]
Genecia Alluora: And sometimes you will also once again think it's something outside of yourself. It's somewhere outside over the rainbow. It's outside the door, and it's not you. Remember four fingers pointing, one finger pointing outside, four fingers pointing back at you. So therefore, at an energetic level, it can be tough to make huge income leap, okay, without your favorite subbotages coming to play and without knowing what they are. All right? So it is very important to recognize that sometimes when we are moving to the next level of our life, the next stage of growth, the next whatever, the next step, the next level of F-word.
[00:08:54]
Genecia Alluora: It may look and occur to you, new level, new resistance, new level, new creations of resistance. But I will tell you this my dear. It will be new level, old resistance. It is definitely not something new. It's just forming a different coming in a different form, trying to take you away and subattach you from your next level or the new level of growth that you want to go to.
[00:09:25]
Genecia Alluora: So I want you to complete the Sabottages quiz that I've created for you. And I want you to do just that. Because that's when you discover your AHA moments and so that you can make a change in these subtle touch patterns. Catch them before they happen, or even when they show up in you. You are aware and therefore being able to change. So that it will help you to profit in your life and business. It will help you to own and love the F-word fully to the greatest potential, to your passions that you truly desire.
[00:10:00]
Genecia Alluora: So I hope that it will be a big opener for you discovering the common patterns in your own behavior. But seeing that self sabotage is really super common, just know that you're not alone. You can probably relate to many of those that I've mentioned in my document. But you know what? These are not made up. These are some of the sabotages that I've seen in so many women, blocking them to their success. Plus, even for myself, I recognize them too, okay? It happened to me in my life too.
[00:10:35]
Genecia Alluora: And I'm really glad to be able to have that awareness and the tool to start working on these subotages at a very young age. So it doesn't matter how bad you think you are. I know you're. You think that you're a bad girl, bad woman. You label yourself, you judge yourself. Don't judge yourself, all right? Just know that I'm here with you and I totally care about you and your success. I believe that you can turn this around and create new patterns of behavior, positive habits, and empowering beliefs to help you to increase your flow of abundance and become the soul rich woman that you truly desire.
[00:11:18]
Genecia Alluora: Now, you might even have ones that isn't on my list. That's fine. It doesn't mean it's not on my list. It means that it's not there. It's just that sometimes you have things that is in a different format or in a different way. So you just have to go through it. Okay? Go through it and then think about it. What are the three sabotaging behaviors that you have? Pick three. Okay, I want you to write them down.
[00:11:48]
Genecia Alluora: Pick three and think of it. Which of these three have the most impact in your income, happiness, and well being right now? It could be they have an impact on your F word, fabulous freedom, financial independence, and happy family. And then if you had to choose, what would be the most common destructive behavior? That is important to recognize that. And if you had to choose, what would be the most common and destructive behavior? Because we are going to dig deep and figure out why, why, why this is happening. Write down your biggest negative belief or sabotaging pattern. All right? You might not have an answer for every part, and it's okay.
[00:12:44]
Genecia Alluora: Just let it come to you naturally. Remember, there are no prizes for perfection and perfectionism, okay? I'm not going to greet you or give you a Harvard degree or Oxford degree for completing that. For me, I'm just a catalyst, a vehicle vessel for you to get your AHA moment. And to me, if you get your one AHA moment from this episode, to me, that will be enough. And it also might be enough for you to do something different. So let me show you how it works with a particular example. First and foremost, what is the fear behind the belief or behavior? What is the absolute worst thing you can imagine happening if this belief were true or if this behavior continued?
[00:13:39]
Genecia Alluora: Next. What is the story behind the belief or behavior? Is there an old money memory to clear? Is this a belief based on someone else's money blocks through the books you read, the movies you watch, the songs you listen to, the people you meet, the experiences that you had? Or is it an old situation that showed you that it's true?
[00:14:10]
Genecia Alluora: Next. How is this serving or protecting you? There is always a payoff. Either you think that your continued sabotage is helping you somehow or is protecting you from perceived hamp. Next. What is this belief or behavior preventing me from being, doing, or having in my life? And I want you to really get present to the cost this is having in your life.
[00:14:51]
Genecia Alluora: And I want you to really be present right now to see what this is costing you when you have this in your life right now. And lastly, ask yourself, what would I like to have instead? If you could consciously choose a new belief or behavior, what would it be? Remember, this doesn't have to be super complicated. Write it down. Write the first thing that comes to mind. Remember, I'm not asking you oxford or Harvard question. Okay.
Just whatever that comes to your mind. Even if you don't know which, some of you will tell me you don't know. Pretend that you know, because your unconscious mind will give you the answer. Don't use your conscious mind to think about this answer, all right? So remember, this isn't complicated. It is super easy, and you will begin to feel that ease as you do this exercise with me.
[00:16:05]
Genecia Alluora: So write down the first thing that comes to your mind, and that's usually the right answer, okay? Or you can sit over this for the next few days. If you really don't have the answer, you can sit on it. Don't need to pressure yourself to do it perfectly.
I allow you. I give you the permission to sit on it. That's fine. All right? But you just have to get it done, because procrastination is the worst thing that could happen.
[00:16:38]
Genecia Alluora: And also create more sabotages for yourself, which is not the purpose of this, right? Okay, let me give you another example. Now, this one comes up for me. Quite a Fabbit, okay? For me, sometimes you feel guilty to have excess money when other people in your life are struggling. Now, this actually might be people you know, like friends or family. Or it could be a general guilt feeling about the state of the world where you think, who am I to make money easily when there is poverty in the world? Who am I to make money easily when there is orphans in the world? Who am I to make money easily when in the world? So fill in the blanks, right?
[00:17:30]
Genecia Alluora: So let's dig in a little deeper to get some AHAs for you. Number one, what is the fear behind that belief or behavior? The fear that could be that having money when other people are struggling is unethical, greedy, or incredibly unfair. The fear could be having money when other people are struggling is unethical, greedy, unfair, or something that may come up for you. So the fear that you have more money, you thought of it as greedy.
[00:18:15]
Genecia Alluora: Or maybe you don't deserve to make so much money because whatever negative hidden stories are hiding inside your subconscious mind, sometimes you may worry it will turn you into an unethical person or turn you to be not a favorite friend of your group of friends or become somebody that is disliked within a community. For example, a community of people who don't value making money. They would just want to be there and if you are the one making money, you will become that ugly, greedy, bad person.
[00:19:05]
Genecia Alluora: So that could be one of the fears. Number two, what is the story behind it? Okay, so it could be that your parents talk about how greedy rich people are or how your friends and peers talk about how greedy rich people are when you make a lot of money from other people, when you charge premium pricing from other people in your causes, in your programs. So your parents or your friends or your peers or your community that people whom you have hang out with just sit there and talk about how greedy rich people are or charging premium prices equals the bad person.
[00:19:49]
Genecia Alluora: Okay. So you might have a specific example in your life where really a rich person or organization completely exploited vulnerable people in your community. That could be a fact as well. So really go deep into your brain. Yes, the matter between the two years. Yes. Don't look left. Don't look right. I'm speaking to you, to your years right now. I want you to go deep into your brain and see what stories could contribute to that feeling.
[00:20:28]
Genecia Alluora: It could have been, like I said, the movie you watch, the songs you listen to, the books you read, the people you hang out with, a family motto about rich people or community moto about rich people. A motto from a community that talks about negativity when a person or rich people charges premium or a person charges premium pricing for their coaching service or their program or something along those lines about income inequality.
[00:21:04]
Genecia Alluora: Really, every potential thing could be a story hidden within it, within you. So it's your duty right now to go dig and find it. Okay? Number three, how is the belief serving or protecting you? How is the belief serving or protecting you? So earlier on I talked about number one, what is the fear behind the belief or behavior? Number two, what is the story behind it? Number three, how is this belief serving or protecting you? All right, trust me. Now this feeling is serving you in some way. Maybe you believe that you are making other people feel better about themselves by keeping your finances in the mess.
[00:22:00]
Genecia Alluora: Maybe you believe you are making other people feel better about themselves by not charging premium pricing for your services. Maybe you believe that you're making other people feel better about themselves by keeping yourself poor. Maybe you believe that you are making other people feel better about themselves by playing small and always doing free work. Maybe you think that by keeping small and guilty all the time, you are keeping things fair and equal. Maybe it is really keeping you stuck because you want to make another person feel good. Maybe when you go round and round in circles, you are making other people feel better about themselves.
[00:22:59]
Genecia Alluora: So like I said, maybe it is really keeping you from becoming really somebody who's really awesome. Okay? But you think about it. All these things are serving or protecting you in some way. The protection part of it could be. Could be. Maybe it is really keeping you from becoming somebody who is evil and greedy. Yeah, it could be that is trying to protect you, right? Which is weird, isn't it? Because if you are born onto this universe, this world, and you are deserving of the F-word, you're deserving of the fabulous, the freedom, the financial independence and the happy family, and then this thing, this belief and this belief is trying to protect you from becoming evil and greedy.
[00:23:56]
Genecia Alluora: Because as if you could ever become one of those people. So next, what is the belief of behavior preventing me from being, doing, or having in my life? What is the belief or behavior preventing me from being, doing, or having in my life? Now, keeping this sabotaging belief might be keeping you from serving many more people in your business. Keeping these sabotaging beliefs might be keeping you from serving many more people or inspiring others in your business.
[00:24:35]
Genecia Alluora: It might be actually stopping you from contributing to the problem of global poverty. Or it might be actually stopping you from contributing to solving the other problems of maybe someone's life to be different. It might be preventing you from quitting your job, changing your business, or making tons of money. I want you to get really specific on the impact it's making on you right now. And lastly, my dear, ask yourself, what would I like instead?
[00:25:14]
Genecia Alluora: Maybe you decide that you give a certain percentage of money to charity in order to incentivize making more money in your business. You could decide that you stop keeping yourself small to make other people in your life feel better. You might realize that you can really be an awesome role model to others and inspire your community by shining in your greatness. You also could decide that you'll stop keeping yourself poor by making and inspiring others through premium pricing in your products and services. When you unpack some of these things, your awareness going forward is going to be your biggest friend, biggest ally, biggest partner.
[00:26:03]
Genecia Alluora: You can stop therefore, your recurring patterns and choose something else instead. And of course, one of the things that I teach in my coaching programs is also called this thing called the EFT, Emotion Freedom Technique. And therefore this one is really good. Okay? It's a really good great, I would say great pattern interrupter.
[00:26:28]
Genecia Alluora: Okay? You can use these EFT to help you to kind of break the momentum of the Sabotaging statements and Sabotaging beliefs. So remember, that's how you heal those parts of yourself through awareness, through understanding, and through pattern interrupting. Remember, sabotage is normal. Okay? And don't judge yourself, please.
[00:26:59]
Genecia Alluora: I hope this episode opens up your heart and your mind and just know in your heart that it doesn't have to be your new normal anymore and it certainly doesn't have to derail your success. These sabotages can be gone, make gone in an instant if you are aware, if you heal yourself, you understand and you pattern interrupt with some of the techniques that I'm going to share with you. Okay? All right, my dear, I hope this episode has blessed you greatly and I look forward to seeing you in the next one. Bye for now.