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When life gets hard, does what we think we believe hold us up, or does it crumble under the weight of doubt? I'm your host, Dr. Lee Warren- I'm a brain surgeon, author, and a person who's seen some stuff and wondered where God is in all this mess. This is The Spiritual Brain Surgery podcast, where we'll take a hard look at what we believe, why we believe it, and the neuroscience behind how our minds and our brains can smash together with faith to help us become healthier, feel better, and be happier so we can find the hope to withstand anything life throws at us. You've got questions, and we're going to do the hard work to find the answers, but you can't change your life until you change your mind, and it's gonna take some spiritual-brain surgery to get it done. So let's get after it.
When life gets hard, does what we think we believe hold us up,
or does it crumble under the weight of doubt?
I'm your host, neurosurgeon and
author, Dr. Lee Warren, and this is the Spiritual Brain Surgery Podcast,
where we'll take a hard look at what we believe, why we believe it,
and the neuroscience behind how our minds and our brains can smash together
with faith to help us defend it, share it, and live it out.
You've got questions, and we're going to do the hard work to find the answers,
but you can't change your life until you change your mind. and it's gonna take
some spiritual brain surgery to get it done, so let's get after it.
Hey, hey, and welcome back to the final episode in this special three-part takeover
of the Spiritual Brain Surgery Podcast.
I'm your guest host, Leanne Ellington, and I am so grateful to be back with you again.
And in episode one, we explored the spiritual cost of food and body fixation and obsession,
and how struggles with food and body don't just impact your health or habits,
but they actually affect your peace and how you're able to be or not be present
and even your spiritual bandwidth.
But we didn't just stay in the topic of the pain. We also unpacked how God designed
your brain for healing and what true renewal and rewiring starts to look like.
In episode two, we dove into creating a natural Ozempic effect in your brain
and how medications like Ozempic are quieting the food noise for many women.
But unless you rewire the brain patterns underneath it all, that peace doesn't last.
And so we got practical, you know, walking through how to work with your brain's
natural wiring to create lasting change without relying on willpower or medication.
And that brings us to today, episode three in this takeover series,
where we're going to talk about something that I think that the church,
the wellness industry, and even the therapy world often get wrong.
And it's body image, because we've been led to believe that body image is a
self-esteem issue and that it's a confidence issue or worse,
that it's something shallow or vain.
But today I want to challenge that because body image is not about vanity.
It's about wiring. In other words, it's not about just how you look.
It's about how your brain interprets how you look.
And so if you've ever struggled with body shame or body obsession,
or if you've ever felt trapped in a body that you hate or just think that you hate,
or maybe you just spend way too much of your time and mental energy thinking
about how to fix or shrink or control your body, then this episode is for you.
Because what we're really talking about here is a brain-based problem with a spirit-led solution.
So let's get into it. And I want to just quickly take you back to the beginning
of my story because I was the chubby girl growing up, and I was the one who
shopped in plus-size sections before there were even plus-size sections.
Thankfully, there's a lot more opportunity and availability to shop in a plus-size
section, but back in the day, it wasn't, right?
But the moment that's seared into my memory was when I was 13,
and I was getting ready for my bat mitzvah, which is a very big day for a Jewish
girl's life. And it's a day that's supposed to feel sacred and special.
And like almost all 13-year-old girls, I just wanted to feel pretty.
And I wanted to feel confident. And I wanted more than anything to just feel
like I belonged, that I wasn't different.
But instead of a joyful day of dress shopping with my mom, I was hit with a painful reality.
I didn't fit into the dresses in the girls section, right?
And so I had to deal with the quiet humiliation of realizing that nothing fit
and that this day that I had been so excited about, it suddenly felt discouraging
and really shame-filled.
And what should have been kind of like, you know, a rite of passage,
it turned into one of the most deflating and disheartening days of my adolescence.
And I remember wanting to cry at the store, but I held it in.
I was trying to be strong.
And so what did we do? What we had to do, we walked over to the women's department instead.
But there was nothing age appropriate for a 13 year old.
You know, that the dresses were too matronly or too grown up.
And I just remember standing there thinking, maybe I'm all wrong.
Like, there's got to be something wrong with me, right?
And that day, I wasn't just trying on dresses. I was trying on shame.
And so even at 13, I had this sinking feeling like, if I could just lose weight,
then maybe I'll finally be happy. Maybe I'll finally fit in.
And that belief just followed me into adulthood. And I did. I did lose the weight,
over 100 pounds to be exact.
But guess what? I didn't feel free. Like it still was all there because the
truth is my body had changed, but my brain hadn't.
And I remember one moment years later, standing in front of my mirror after
I'd lost the weight and I was in, you know, what most people would call a goal
weight. You know, I was lean, I was fit.
I was wearing the size that I used to dream about, but all I could focus on
was the skin on my stomach.
And I remember I was pinching it and I was criticizing it and I was pulling
at it. like it was just evidence that I still wasn't good enough.
And in that moment, I realized I hadn't healed. I had just essentially shape-shifted.
And the shame didn't leave with the weight. It just kind of put on a new outfit.
And I was living in a body that the world now accepted.
And I was still walking around with the same self-rejection that I had before I lost the weight.
And I was still avoiding mirrors. I still didn't want to be in pictures.
I was, you know, still a thousand percent obsessing over every bite of food.
Like I was just one meal away from failure or just feeling like I was going
to go off the deep end and gain it all back.
Because you can lose 100 pounds and still carry the same weight in your mind.
And you can shrink your body and still live in a prison of perfectionism and pressure.
And that's exactly what happened to me.
Another time I remember it was in my late 20s and I was standing in the closet
and I was trying to get dressed for a party.
And I had a closet full of clothes. It's not like I lacked clothes,
but I didn't want to wear any of them.
And it wasn't because they didn't fit. it was because nothing made me feel good in my body.
And so I would try on outfit after outfit, and I would, you know,
throw this turtleneck down and throw that skirt down.
And I would stare in the mirror and I would tug at my shirt and I'd pull up
my pants and I'd twist and turn and just try to find some angle that felt,
you know, okay enough to walk out the door in.
And by the time I picked something, I remember I was already exhausted and I was so discouraged.
And of course, I was already, you know, dreading the photos and the comments
and the comparison that, of course, it was my own comparison,
but I had fears that it was pervasive.
But no matter what I wore, I still felt like I was wearing shame.
And that's the thing. It's tricky. That's the thing about body image.
Like, you can be a grown woman and you can be, you know, successful by every metric.
And you can even be in a smaller body. but you can also still feel like a scared
little girl inside just trying to feel worthy in her own skin.
And that's really when it hit me. Like body image isn't about the mirror.
It's not about the mirror. It's not about what you actually look like. It's about the mind.
And I 1000% remember the moment that kind of cracked everything open for me.
So I had just gotten spinal surgery. I now endearingly call that procedure the
cost of skinny because I had tried to out-exercise my eating and it all came
crashing down in the form of major spine surgery.
And so I was in my mid-20s and I was temporarily immobile.
And for the first time in years, I couldn't exercise or control my food the way that I was used to.
And that absolutely terrified me. I was so scared of gaining weight.
I wasn't just scared of gaining weight. I was scared of losing control completely
because up until that point, my ability to control my body had become my identity.
Like it was my measurement of safety and it was my value measuring stick of worth.
And it was my way of proving that I was okay, right? And probably more like
pretending that I was okay.
But suddenly I was in this moment, I couldn't control anything and I had to
just really sit with myself.
And I couldn't depend on all of these food rules to make myself feel good enough.
And I obviously couldn't do my hardcore workouts to numb out the noise like
that I had always been doing.
And that's when I realized, like, even after all the healing that I thought
I had done, I was still measuring my value by my body.
And honestly, it was kind of like a spiritual unraveling, you know,
not because I was weak, but I truly believe it's because God was just trying
to show me like, Leanne, you were never meant to hold it all together like this.
And in a way, holding it all together was fake. It wasn't real, right?
Because even when your body is in physical pain, it doesn't just drown out the
emotional pain. It doesn't work like that.
And even though I had, you know, done everything right with my health and fitness,
I still felt imprisoned by my own reflection.
And I had sacrificed so much to get there, like the there, what is there?
Like that metaphorical mountaintop that I thought would make me happy.
But that was the part that broke my heart the most. Like that's when I realized,
oh my gosh, I had arrived to this place that I've been like striving and hustling to get to.
And I still don't feel free. In fact, it's the opposite. I am in a deeper prison
than ever that just, it's a different present, right?
And I had lost all the weight and I was lean and I was fit and I was getting
compliments left and right.
And I was running a fitness business and being celebrated publicly and on TV
as this, you know, before and after success story.
But every night I went home and I stared at myself in the mirror and I still
hated what I saw because the number had changed.
And yeah, I mean, the compliments had changed. Like they started happening because
I wasn't getting compliments before.
But, you know, the clothing size had changed. All of the things changed, right?
But the way I felt in my body and the way that I saw myself,
that hadn't changed at all.
Because here's what no one tells you. You can change your body and you can change
your habits and you could even change your entire lifestyle.
But if your self image doesn't change, none of it feels any different.
Let me say that again. If your self image doesn't change, none of it feels any different.
You will still be carrying the same shame and looking at yourself through the
same cracked mirror, right?
And you'll be chasing worthiness like it is just one more goal to check off on the checklist.
And that realization for me, the fact that I had changed my body,
but not my mind, that sent me searching, right?
At first, I was like, maybe therapy will be the answer. And then I thought like,
okay, maybe I just need a better plan or a new modality or a new food journal to keep myself on track.
But none of that worked. None of it stuck. None of it was productive.
But it's because I was still asking myself the wrong question.
I was still asking, what's wrong with me?
And how can I fix myself, right? I was just still following that thread of what's
wrong with me. I got to fix it.
Maybe therapy will fix what's wrong with me. Maybe a better plan will fix what's wrong with me.
And then, of course, thank you, God, I stumbled into the science, right?
And that's when I first learned about the anterior cingulate cortex.
And I've talked about this on the other episodes of this series,
but it's the part of the brain that really governs your self-image and it dictates social comparison.
And it's really where your sense of identity and belonging live.
And so suddenly everything just started to make sense that, you know,
this wasn't just emotional, it was neurological.
And I hadn't just picked up bad habits. I had wired in false beliefs, right?
False beliefs about food in my body, of course, right?
But also about my worth and what made me lovable, right?
And the most life-changing part of this was that I learned that your brain can change, right?
Who knew, right? But like literally God designed it that way.
It's called neuroplasticity, like your brain's plastic, right?
And the brain has this magical ability to rewire itself through intentional
repetition and emotional connection.
Or as I teach my clients, if you give it air, attention, intention, and repetition.
And so once I started working with my brain instead of against it,
that's when things really started to shift. not just the food behavior and not
just the body shame, but really the entire way that I saw myself.
And so here's the thing, your ACC, that anterior cingulate cortex, it is always listening.
And your self-image is always paying attention, 24 hours a day, right?
Always scanning the world for clues about, you know, where you stand and how
safe you are, whether you're good enough.
But what most people don't realize is your ACC isn't shaped by logic, okay?
It is shaped by repeated emotional experiences.
The things that you felt again and again and again, the comments, the comparisons,
the rejection, the praise, all of it, they all leave a mark,
not just in your memory, but in your wiring, okay?
So I like to describe your ACC kind of like it's a courtroom, okay?
Except the judges aren't God or truth or grace, right?
They are the voices from your past, still just banging that gavel,
saying things like, you know, you're too big or you'd be so pretty if you lost
weight or you should be ashamed of yourself. That's what a lot of mine were saying.
But the worst part of it is that most of the time we don't even realize that
we are living under that kind of verdict, right?
Romans 8, 1, it reminds us of the real verdict. It says, there is now no condemnation
for those who are in Christ Jesus.
And there is no judge still holding court, even if we think there is.
The gavel's already been dropped.
The verdict is freedom, right? We know that. And that's exactly what I mean
when I talk about self-image static, right? It's not just mental chatter.
It is neural wiring. And it is the circuitry that creates your default self-image.
And so those repeated messages that you received, so whether it was from culture
or family or maybe it was self-created, it was your own inner critic saying the same, right?
They became your brain's blueprint for how to see yourself.
And so when I say that body image is a brain problem and not a vanity issue, this is what I mean.
Like you are not shallow, you are wired. And the good news is you can rewire it, okay?
Romans 12 too, I'm bringing it up again, right?
Do not conform to the pattern of this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
And this is that. actual transformation, actual mind renewal on a beliefs and
self-image and identity level.
And so I want you to imagine your self-image like a mirror, okay?
But instead of a clean, you know, clear reflection, it has been smudged,
majorly smudged, right?
Smudged by trauma, smudged by criticism, smudged by dieting,
years and years of dieting and rules, smudged by that, smudged by comparisonitis
and perfectionism and people-pleasing, right?
And so every time you look in the mirror, you're not seeing your God-given reflection
or your God-given potential.
You're seeing the smudges, right? And Psalm 139.14 says, I praise you because
I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
But if your brain has been conditioned day after day, time after time,
year after year, decade after decade, if your brain has been conditioned to
only see your flaws, you won't see the wonder that's in that scripture.
You are going to see the worthlessness or the unworthiness, right?
And so this is why we can't solve body image problems by just trying to love ourselves more, right?
Because you can't out-affirm a brain that's been wired to criticize itself.
And you can't out logic a nervous system that's been conditioned to feel unsafe in your skin.
You need a full body, full brain, spirit led transformation.
And that's really the crux of what I help my clients do.
We don't just change the conversation about their body. We change the circuit it runs through.
And when you do that, everything changes, right?
And so I want to walk you through the frameworks that I take my clients through,
not so that you can just blindly take my word for it, but so that you can have
the opportunity to just try it on.
And really, you know, see what resonates, but also see where God might be nudging
you to look deeper or lay something down, okay?
Because when you understand why your brain and body feel the way that they do,
and when you start working with your wiring instead of against it,
that's when real transformation begins, like the real kind, not the short term,
you know, gratification of like a change for a little while,
but like the real transformative forever kind of stuff, okay?
So step one is you've got to unlearn the lies, right?
We've got to begin by dismantling the belief systems that you inherited or you
picked up along the way, you know, the ones about,
you know, what make you worthy or lovable or safe, because whether you picked
them up from a childhood comment or a high school rejection or,
you know, a doctor's appointment or decades long relationship with the bathroom scale,
these lies didn't start with you, but they got into you.
And your brain didn't just hear those messages, it wired them in.
And so if someone handed you a backpack as a little girl and said,
here, carry this, it's who you're supposed to be.
But that backpack was full of bricks. And the brick said, you know,
you're only lovable if you're thin.
Or there was a brick that said, you have to earn your worth or,
you know, your body problem needs to be solved right away.
And you carried it for years, maybe decades, maybe your whole life, right?
And for me, I didn't even realize I was carrying it until one random afternoon,
I was journaling and I found myself writing down a sentence that I probably
said to myself a thousand times.
It felt normal, like it wasn't anything out of the ordinary but I wrote something
along the lines of, once you get to your goal weight, then you'll know you've
made it and that's when you can relax.
And it was in that moment, it hit me and I was like, whoa, like that's not my
voice. That wasn't my voice.
It was the voice of someone else, Like maybe it was my middle school gym teacher
or somebody at my Weight Watchers group or just a magazine I read that told
me that every inch I could pinch meant another 100 calories I had to cut out, right?
And so some women are still carrying backpacks that aren't even theirs.
And, you know, maybe they're handed down by mothers or magazines or misguided
mentors, but we mistake them for our own and we carry them like gospel.
And then we wonder why you're tired, right?
You're so, so tired. And it's not because you're weak, but because you were
never meant to carry that weight, right?
And this is the part of the process where we take the backpack off one brick
at a time, okay? One belief at a time.
2 Corinthians 10, 15 tells us to demolish arguments and every pretension that
sets itself up against the knowledge of God and take every thought captive to
make it obedient to Christ.
And so that's not just poetic, that's practical.
Because if the thoughts in your head don't line up with what God says about
you, they do not belong in your backpack, okay?
Step two is to regulate the noise. So this is where it's about training your
nervous system to feel safe so that you can actually be present in your body
without panic or punishment.
And also, you know, if we were unsettled in our nervous system,
that's when we tend to rely on coping mechanisms.
And if you're anything like me and you learn that food or sugar was a coping
mechanism when you're bored or stressed or lonely or sad or anything like that,
that falls under this category too, okay?
So it's about training your nervous system to feel safe without relying on food
or control or trying to lose weight or anything like that.
Because the enemy doesn't just lie with words. He lies with static,
right? Like that low-grade hum in your mind, it's noise, right,
that says you're not safe in your own skin or you'd be pretty if you lost the weight.
You know, that fight-or-flight feeling you get when your jeans feel tight or
when you see a photo that you didn't approve of.
It's like trying to read a love letter, but somebody keeps blasting static in
your headphones while you're reading the love letter, right?
Like, you know the words are kind and you know they're for you,
but you can't feel them through all of that noise, right? Right.
That's what happens with body image. And God's love is real and his truth is secure.
But if your nervous system is dysregulated and if your body is living in fear
or shame or just that hyper vigilance, you can't receive the love that's already there.
And so I remember the first time I tried to sit still with God,
just sit still, not journal, not, you know, pray productively or whatever I
was saying, not listen to worship music, just totally be still.
And it felt like a war zone inside my body. It was so hard. I mean,
my legs wouldn't stop shaking.
My mind was racing. I just kept thinking like, am I doing this wrong?
Because stillness felt foreign and therefore it felt unsafe because I had spent
so many years earning my worth through effort and discipline or just like avoidance,
numbing, distracting myself.
And so to sit and be still and receive, that felt like a failure, right?
But that's also the moment that I realized within me, you know,
stillness isn't about passivity, it's about safety. And I didn't feel safe to be still.
I wasn't safe like in my own head and heart and thoughts, right?
And that's why we calm the circuits like we talked about in our episode,
our last episode of this series.
And we retrain the body to experience safety and presence and connection so
that that love letter can actually land, okay?
Psalm 46.10 says, be still and know that I am God.
But for so many of us, stillness, for some reason, it is terrifying because
our bodies have never felt safe enough to be still.
And so this is where we reintroduce stillness, you know, not as the absence
of movement, but really as like new evidence to your brain of safety.
And it's not just about calming your nerves. It's about creating a home where
the Holy Spirit can dwell, but doing it in a way of peace, not panic. Okay.
And then step three is to rebuild the mirror, where finally it's about rewiring
your self-image to match how God sees you, not how the world labeled you, but how God sees you.
Because for most women I work with, their mirror is broken. And I don't just
mean physically, I mean neurologically, okay?
It's kind of like a funhouse mirror warped by decades of criticism and comparison
and cultural messaging.
And so every time you look in it, the reflection lies and it says,
you're disgusting or, you know, you've really let yourself go or you're not
where you should be yet. Like you're so behind.
But here's the truth. That voice is not you, but it's also not God either.
It is the echo of old inputs, old thoughts, old drama that were never meant to define you.
OK, and I'll never forget one of the first times I caught this in real time.
I remember I was walking past the mirror and instantly flinched and I stopped
myself and I thought, wait a minute, like who told me to feel that way about
my face or about my stomach or my thighs, right?
Because I wasn't even thinking this was just so automated and automatic at this point.
Like my brain had a script that it played every time I caught my reflection.
And so becoming aware of it was a big deal, right?
And that's when I realized like my mirror was not reflecting truth.
It was reflecting trauma, essentially, right?
It was reflecting a story of lies that I had learned to tell to myself about myself.
So instead of slapping a positive affirmation on a broken mirror.
One that your brain secretly calls BS on, or maybe your heart just can't receive
it yet, you've got to replace it.
And we build a new mirror based on how God sees you.
And Matthew 3, 17 says, this is my beloved daughter in whom I am well pleased.
I say that to myself all the time. I'm like, God, I hope you're well pleased with me.
And then I remember this scripture, this is my beloved daughter in whom I am well pleased.
And can you imagine looking in the mirror and hearing that blessing,
that scripture spoken over you?
And so instead of feeling shame, like finally hearing that affirmation and instead
of criticism, hearing the divine approval, right? Like that's what this process is.
It's not just about, you know, fake body positivity.
It's about identity alignment. And it's about taking your mirror off the wall
of culture and comparison and Instagram and what you think you're supposed to
look like, feel like, walk like, talk like.
And hanging that mirror in the throne room where it belongs, right?
Because when the mirror reflects truth, you don't need to force self-love.
You just get to simply receive it. And you're in a posture to actually receive it.
And when that becomes your new default, your body no longer feels like your enemy.
Your reflection no longer feels like a war zone. And you no longer see yourself
through the lens of not enough.
You start to see what God sees, not your cellulite, not your stomach pooch,
not your size, but your spirit and your worth and your true identity.
Because Jesus didn't die for the version of you that you're still trying to become.
He died for the one that is standing in the mirror right now,
the version of you, even with the shame, even with the cellulite,
even with the story that you don't tell anyone.
Like that's the new mirror and that's
the new soundtrack and that's the transformation of your self-image.
But it doesn't come from striving. It really comes through surrender, okay?
Isaiah 61.3 says, he gives us a crown of beauty instead of ashes.
But notice it doesn't say that we get that crown of beauty when we're thin enough
or when we've healed everything.
He gives it to us right now.
Isaiah, staying in Isaiah 43.1, it says, do not fear for I have redeemed you.
I have called you by name and you are mine.
That scripture, that's not just theology. That's an identity statement right there, right?
You are mine and I've called you by name. So as we close out this episode and
the series, I want to speak directly to you.
If you're listening right now and you feel like you are never going to be free
from the mirror, I'm here to say, and I mean this with so much love,
you don't need another plan and you don't need another promise.
You need a new pathway. And to stop trying to fix what was never broken and
start rewiring the system that just taught you that you were.
Because your brain is not against you. It's just been programmed with old coordinates.
And your creator, your heavenly father, he is not waiting for you to shrink
before he calls you enough.
And he's not asking you to look a certain way before you can be used for good and used for purpose.
Like stepping into purpose because he's already deemed like you are worthy and
he already chose you and he already loves you right now, like not 20 pounds
from now, right now, right?
So maybe today is your day. Maybe you just needed to hear this to throw away
the old mirror, to quiet the static, to stop this war that you've waged on your
body and start walking towards peace with your body.
But not peace because like, oh, my body's finally changed, so now I can be at peace with it.
No, not because your body changed, but because your brain changed.
And that, my friend, when you
see your brain changing, that is spiritual brain surgery at its finest.
So that is where I'm going to end this episode and end this series.
And wow, it has been so much fun.
And if this conversation resonated with you and you want to learn more about
the work that I do, or you're just ready to go deeper into healing yourself,
I've got a few ways to help.
So first, if you want to turn off the part of your brain that's constantly obsessing
about food, your weight, your next meal plan, actually rewire it for peace and
freedom, head on over to stresslesseating.com.
That's where you can access the Stressless Eating Sneak Preview.
It's a free on-demand workshop where I walk you through the exact brain-based
strategy I teach my own clients to heal from the all or nothing food and body
battle for good, but without restriction.
Without punishing your body, without spending years to address it,
and definitely without words like macros and low carb and calorie burn.
So I've laid it all out for you over at stresslesseating.com.
And if you love podcasts, I've got two shows I'd love to invite you to check out.
The first is Outweigh. It's a show that I co-host with radio personality Amy
Brown, where we help women break out of the food and body prison and take control
of their health, but without restriction and obsession or dragging it out for years in therapy.
So you can listen to Outweigh wherever you get your podcasts.
And the other is What's God Got to Do With It? So this one's my solo show,
where we talk about all things, body image, self-worth, food struggles,
but from the perspective of where brain science and faith collide.
And it is vulnerable, it's real,
and it is made for women who want both transformation, but also truth.
And as our friend, Dr. Lee Warren always says, you can't change your life until
you change your mind. And the good news is you can start today.
So that's it for today's episode of Spiritual Brain Surgery.
I'm your guest takeover host, Leanne Ellington, and it has truly been a gift
to spend this time with you.
And while this is the final episode in our three-part series,
it's not goodbye. It's just the end of this beautiful leg of the journey that we've taken together.
So until our paths cross again, take care of your brain, guard your thoughts,
and remember, you are not broken.
You are beautifully wired, and you can rewire anytime you choose.
You are not stuck the way things are because God designed your brilliant brain
to grow and heal and change right alongside you.
So sending you so much love. Bye for now.
Thanks for listening. If you like the show, please subscribe wherever you listen
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