Learning to Learn is a toolbox podcast for navigating the learning experience. In this episode, we dive into several of the various learning styles and processes of communication that reflect our unique identities and personal lived experiences.
An Everything Podcasts production.
Thanks to Sylvan Learning for supporting this episode. Sylvan understands that learning doesn’t happen because you open a textbook. Learning is what happens when a mind connects. It’s that magic moment when a concept clicks, when the light goes on, when your child finally understands the answer to that long-elusive question.
I don't think my learning style was ever obvious to me as a kid because I didn't know that there were different learning styles. But looking back, I know that being given something real and tactile to work with would have kept me from sort of bouncing out of my seat because the biggest discomfort of my learning was sitting for such long periods of time.
Lisa Dumas:Every day we wake to find new challenges that make our experience of life joyous, and overwhelming, and terrifying, and wonderful, and just about every other adjective imaginable. Put simply, our experience of being alive is complex. Every moment of daily stimulus is a new input and connection to our brain seamlessly integrating the ever expanding complexities of synapses and memory. Like nature itself, we are constantly learning and growing. Similarly to our nuanced and complex lived experiences, the way our brains process and internalize data is just as distinctive.
Lisa Dumas:We all learn differently. Shouldn't we give ourselves the chance to learn how to learn? I'm Lisa Dumas. Welcome to learning to learn. A toolbox podcast for navigating the learning experience.
Lisa Dumas:Though the models for various types of learning are institutionally and personally based, there is an understanding that 3 major learning categories exist: visual, auditory, kinesthetic. Visual learners learn through visual representation of media like graphics, text or imagery. Oral learners learn through hearing information, such as lectures, discussion or vocal repetition. Kinesthetic learners learn by hands on activities and physical manifestations of data and information. How do you discover your personal learning style?
Lisa Dumas:Through discussion, through conversation, through thoughtful and intentional reflections on lived experiences and personal hurdles. By reflecting on lived experience, we can better understand how to improve our learning environments and effect actionable change to how we learn. Today, I'm joined with Cliff. Cliff is a parent of a child who has experienced challenges with learning. Thanks for being here.
Cliff:Oh, thanks. Nice to be here.
Lisa Dumas:So today, our goal is to gain a little bit more insight into your family's journey with education and your personal learning process. Was there a moment in your child's life when you discovered that they were struggling with a certain style of learning? And what was that like?
Cliff:Yeah. Frustrating because I think that what we recognized was she was very bright. She was very outgoing. She loved the experience, at least to start with. And then slowly, I think what we started recognizing is that she wasn't completing homework, especially in math and science.
Cliff:And I guess the good thing, and you hope your children all have this attribute, is that she was being open about her struggles which allowed us some insight into some of the challenges that she was having and start to put a plan in place to overcome some of them.
Lisa Dumas:Mhmm. As a mom myself with a kid at home who struggled, it seems to be frustrating at first because you wonder why isn't this happening? And then as you get deeper, you start to understand a little bit more. Did she mention what specific challenges she was having?
Cliff:Yeah. Math. She would ask the teacher to explain certain concepts multiple times, which we encouraged her to do. And the teacher's role are always great, but in a big classroom it's hard to kind of identify and spend as much time with a single child as you possibly can. So that I think became a challenge for her.
Cliff:The level of frustration. It starts to erode at her self confidence. Slowly, I think as mom and dad, we start seeing that and going, wow. K. Something's changing here.
Lisa Dumas:Did you see learning challenges at school manifest at home when it came to behavior, when it came to emotions?
Cliff:Well, I think that she started losing interest in school, which was a surprise because, you know, for the first 5 or 6 years of her life, she just loved being in school. She loved the community. We got a different kid when she came home. Clearly, something had happened at school that made her feel less than. And whether it was, you know, those early years whereas a a child who loved to perform and was a and still is a theater kid, basically had the love and affection of all of her teachers.
Cliff:When it came to the academics and she recognized that she wasn't performing up to a certain standard, at at least her own standards or maybe the teachers', she was very aware of the teachers not being totally satisfied. And then that was complicated because, of course, she would come home with grades or tests, and we would see that, okay, you didn't work hard enough or you didn't study hard enough. As parents, I think that's what we we default to. And as you get deeper and deeper into this, you recognize, oh, wait a minute, Those aren't the things that she's faced with. She's actually struggling because of reasons that we haven't identified yet.
Lisa Dumas:How did this impact you as a dad personally?
Cliff:Well, wow. Okay. I kinda just got a chill when you asked me that question because I think that what immediately happens is as a parent you're confused, you're frustrated. But I think the recognition is that everyone can flourish if they're given the right tools and not everybody can flourish in a group environment. But in today's school system, it's challenging to have that one on one contact that I think so many kids need.
Cliff:And I think it it paints a very different picture of a child that exists in a school and that child you see at home. So when we would have conversations with the teachers about what was going on in school as some of these challenges started to come up. Who they would describe to us was not the kid that we had at home. And that realization, I think as a parent, first of all, you have to get past your own ego and deal with those emotions. But then you have to kinda take a step back and realize, okay.
Cliff:I have to get educated. I have to understand what's happening. I have to advocate for my child. That's when a whole other gear kicks in.
Lisa Dumas:How was the struggle that she was experiencing re shaped by these conversations and by the actions that she took?
Cliff:That was a bumpy road because nobody gives you the road map to try to figure out what you need to do in order to identify, first of all, what might be going on. That's the biggest challenge. And from an institutional standpoint, honestly, I felt like we weren't really getting the support that I thought we would be getting until we made some personal hard choices to look outside of the traditional system.
Lisa Dumas:Cliff and his wife decided to sign their daughter up for personalized tutoring.
Cliff:And I think that that's really where we started to see some big advancements. And not only did that choice help her in school and in grades and to move along in the educational system, but it helped her personally too. I think convincing her that she wasn't defined by grades and everyone learns differently, which is something we had to recognize. But convincing your child of that to overcome their own barriers and their own thoughts in the head, We would encourage her interests and our kid, like many, eventually got diagnosed with ADHD, which means if they're interested in something they can immerse themselves in it. But if they don't have any interest in it, then it's almost next to impossible for them to engage and succeed at that.
Cliff:So that that was a big that was a big moment for us.
Lisa Dumas:It can be so challenging for kids to look around and feeling like everybody else can succeed in specific areas, but they're floundering and they're struggling. So it's sometimes so helpful to look outside for some additional help and some answers. So once she had that answer, oh, there's actually a name for what I'm struggling with. There's a reason that I'm disinterested in this or that I procrastinate when it comes to homework. What was that experience like?
Cliff:Oh, life changing. I mean, I think it gives a whole new understanding of some of the standards in today's educational system. It's not and can't be a one size fit all. So we discovered that she thrived in a 1 on 1 situation. That absolutely changed the game for her.
Lisa Dumas:Based on those experiences with your daughter, what would you say that her learning style is? How does she process information?
Cliff:I think she's tactile. She likes to touch. She likes to see the technique of explaining something that maybe had been explained in a different way prior to having that 1 on 1 contact where she feels like she can really focus and ask the questions that she needs to ask without being rushed because there might be 10 or 15 kids kind of leaning in behind going, I have the same question or I have a different question. And in a more tactile environment, she stayed focused.
Lisa Dumas:I have a lot of compassion for you and for every parent who's dealing with a child who's struggling in school because we only just want the best for them. We want them to meet all the potential that we see in them. We want them to have an easier life perhaps than we did. We want them to achieve and be proud of themselves and feel good and maybe even do better in math than we did.
Cliff:That wouldn't be hard for me, honestly.
Lisa Dumas:Me either. Mostly. Me either.
Grace:When I think about being back in the classroom as a younger student, I think about really struggling as a kid.
Lisa Dumas:This is Grace, Cliff's daughter.
Grace:It was hard to understand material and to stay engaged and to stay in my seat. I have such distinct memories of being handed back tests by my peers and them, like, stifling laughs when my grade was 0. And sometimes it felt like I was an alien. You know, I'd look around and everyone's faces were focused. Their eyes were, like, furrowed towards the whiteboard.
Grace:And I made up for my lack of understanding by being a very disruptive participant, always cracking jokes and being involved in the only way I knew how. Because what my brain was really focused on was the flickering lights. I could see from my seat at the end of the hall or the whir of the computer or the tick of a clock. I was so easily distracted Processing all that stimuli and learning in an environment that only catered to one learning style made me feel isolated and sometimes even stupid and didn't move me to try harder in the classroom or to further socialize with my peers. I had one really close friend in high school, and it was someone whose brain worked kind of like mine, who was labeled as lazy or dumb because we weren't being seen.
Grace:When I was diagnosed with ADHD, I just felt kind of sad. When I spoke to my family about it after receiving a diagnosis, they only knew it as sort of the, quote, unquote, naughty boy disease, you know, because boys are expected to be disruptive and loud. Now I know that it's always been easier for me to learn in an environment where I could visualize what my teachers were trying to teach me without kind of grounding in reality, like, that tactile sort of sense. My brain would stop trying to understand what was being taught and I'd start daydreaming. I don't think my learning style was ever obvious to me as a kid because I didn't know that there were different learning styles.
Grace:But looking back, I know that being given something real and tactile to work with would have kept me from sort of bouncing out of my seat. Math was the biggest struggle of mine because there were so many concepts, and nobody could explain to me why it was happening. Like, why are we using x's? I don't get it. Why are there letters in math?
Grace:So when we were given sort of little blocks to represent the numbers or to represent the problem, It was much easier for me to visualize what was happening as long as I had something sort of grounding me into the learning environment, something to touch, something to put the 2 worlds together, sort of how my brain thinks and what is being taught by a traditional learning environment, it was much easier for me to understand. After I was able to process this sort of diagnosis, this realization that things might have been easier for me at some point. I decided to advocate for myself in school. So having something to fiddle with during a lecture helped me stay sort of planted in my seat. 1 on one time with professors allowed me to understand and engage with the material.
Grace:I wear earplugs that block out background noise to help me stay focused on the topic at hand and not all the other stimulus that can really easily overwhelm me. I work with a therapist who has me work realistically with my executive dysfunction, which is basically a disruption in my ability to manage my thoughts, emotions, and actions. And I am, most of all, gentle with myself Because as much as ADHD can make my learning hard, it also makes me a unique and creative student who sees things in ways others may not. And to focus on that kind of strength has changed my mindset about myself as a student exponentially. I think that having a different way of learning or a different way of looking at things helps the world be a little bit more soft and a little bit more accommodating and a little bit more understanding.
Grace:I think that we need people who think sort of outside the box to help us move forward as a society.
Lisa Dumas:And Grace's initial challenges with learning definitely haven't held her back.
Grace:Because I work better in a more tactile environment, I took a break from more traditional schooling, and I went to get my license as a massage therapist because it fulfills me in all the ways that I need to be fulfilled. It has my that little burst of social justice that I love to pursue. So I want to work with queer and neurodivergent youth, to help them feel more present in their bodies. And that whole experience of being able to learn in this environment with all of the knowledge that I've bolstered myself with about how I learn, has really inspired me to be able to continue and pursue my degree, so my psychology degree, so I can work with neurodivergent and queer youth in the future. It's been a really special thing to be to have the knowledge about myself that I didn't have before because it's allowed me to accommodate for myself, and it's allowed my learning to be so much easier.
Grace:There's not so much pressure because I know what I need now.
Lisa Dumas:Thank you to Cliff and Grace for sharing their story as a family and shedding light on what learning can look like. When it comes to academic or social struggle, oftentimes it stems from a miscommunication or misunderstanding. Even the best educators are forced to move along and leave behind those struggling due to lack of resources to adequately address the situation. Even when the teacher is unaware of the lack of retention, rarely is there time to stop, assess and address those who continue to struggle. These moments where we feel left behind, both academically and socially, are the moments to recognize that standard learning processes are not all encompassing.
Lisa Dumas:Inspecting what it is that's affecting us, and mindfully reflecting brings knowledge and opportunity to what can feel like a hopeless situation. By learning more about ourselves, we can turn a learning difference into a superpower. Hearing real stories from those who have gone through similar situations can illuminate the opportunity for others to thrive along paths that seemed impossible to navigate. It's seeing this possibility that makes it real. Knowing that something is possible, allows the opportunity to exist within you.
Lisa Dumas:Oftentimes, we measure our personal success by the amount of accolades or awards we've received for this, that, or the other. Trophies, however, cannot take into account our personal success or journeys. What makes us great is our persistence. It's our tenacity and our courage to be vulnerable, to be curious, and to be willing to want more. Learning isn't about generalized presets and markers for academic success.
Lisa Dumas:It's about our never ending search for knowledge in an ever changing world. And by openly discussing the ways in which we perceive and take in that world with ourselves and our families, we collectively craft the foundations of lifelong learning. Without shame and without fear. We embrace failure as a token of growth, and we journey forth reminding ourselves every day that learning is a process. We remind ourselves every day by learning to learn.
Lisa Dumas:I'm Lisa Dumas. Thank you for being here today on this journey of discovery. We hope that our guests' insights and vulnerability have shed some light on our common and communal journey through lifelong learning. Thanks to Sylvan Learning for supporting this episode. Sylvan understands that learning doesn't happen because you open a textbook.
Lisa Dumas:Learning is what happens when a mind connects. It's that magic moment when a concept clicks, when the light goes on, when your child finally understands the answer to that long elusive question. No 2 children are exactly alike. They learn in different ways and at different paces. I'm going to leave you now with this powerful insight and evergreen advice from Grace.
Grace:It's so hard and complicated giving advice because I think that there's this pressure to conform in school and being, quote, unquote, like, different is so scary. But what I would say is there's nothing wrong with you. You are not problematic or bad or different or off. We are, as a society, just not equipped in traditional learning environments to cope with people who need to be accommodated. I'm convinced that, yes, learning differences help create a more inclusive, aware and kind schooling environment, but this doesn't come without support.
Grace:Kids need a support system who works with and believes them. Adults need to be engaging with students in ways that don't make them feel ashamed, that instead make them feel seen. So if your kiddo is struggling, they need your voice to bolster theirs.
Cliff:Another Everything Podcast production. Visiteverythingpodcast.com. Subscribe wherever you get your podcast.